Письма к Анне Ивановне Петровской

140. Passionate thoughts are cured by repentance and self-reproach. Showing impatience with elders comes from a lack of humility. Try to keep your feelings. When your heart is upset, remain silent Passionate waves and storms overwhelm your soul through thoughts and sleepy dreams: and in them you find yourself guilty of negligence, laziness and other things. It is fair that you have guilt, but in all these attempts of yours, always bring repentance to God with a contrite heart and constant self-reproach, and God will not allow the enemy to dominate your heart, only you yourself, as much as possible, resist passionate thoughts, do not allow them to reach your heart, but resort to God through prayer and awareness of your weakness. Don’t have any conversations about passionate matters, except for your mother’s revelation, which would be very useful for you, but I see that you will stiffen in front of her from shame - this is a form of pride. You write: “How can sins be cleansed by sins?” – in the fight against passions, sometimes we win, and sometimes we are overcome, but through repentance we heal and always suffer from them. Your impatience with your elders also shows your weakness and lack of humility, which you and I have not yet achieved and from which we are far removed. Even when your heart is indignant, keep silence, but not maliciously, and if you see that evil thoughts are secretly operating in you, go away, pray to God for those who have offended you and ask for their mercy with prayers: try to always find guilt in yourself, if at that time you were not guilty, then reproach is sent for previous sins and to expose our poor dispensation. Read from Abba Dorotheus the chapters that I advised you, and from John Climacus the fourth degree on obedience, at the end of which one sufferer and ascetic under the name Antiochus saw in a dream himself tortured by 100 liters of debt, after which, after spending some time in the hostel in patience, insult and reproach, he saw in a dream that only 10 liters had been paid, then he gave himself more to patience and saw the complete abandonment of debt - since we also feel debts to God, we should not run away from complaints, reprimands and insults: with them not only will the debt be paid, but also a great mental illness - pride - will be healed by applying these plasters with God's help. There is also much that is useful for your dispensation, also in other degrees, about freedom from anger and meekness, about humility and others. Finding yourself insufficient against them, replace this insufficiency with constant self-reproach and, no matter how the waves arise on your soul, always resort to Christ - the Savior will come to the rescue and tame the waves. Believe that the Lord has carefully arranged for you such a life for healing; do not reject it and do not seek bodily tranquility and imaginary peace: first you must endure a lot. If you have revelation, it will greatly ease your struggle and you will have more peace of mind than on your own. May the Lord enlighten you and strengthen you in all your battles. Pray also for me, your poor and zealous prayer partner. Try to preserve your senses, especially your vision. When you are in trouble, you must pray for those who will harm you (cf. Matthew 5:44). I ask and pray, to the best of your ability, to try to follow the written advice and instructions of Father Confessor Fr. Macaria. Also, I, a sinner, repeat: try to preserve your feelings, and especially your eyesight, and continue your resigned patience with thanksgiving when you encounter troubles. When, with God’s help, you try to graciously endure the temptation that comes your way and attribute all of it to your sins, and when you receive sorrows in your heart, pray, according to the commandment of the Lord, for those who bring harm to you (Matthew 5:44), - then you will clearly feel in your heart an indescribable joy and consolation, peace of thoughts, love for God and for everyone, not only those who live with you, but also others. 141. Open your thoughts and spiritual feelings more often. “Pray for those who use you and persecute you” (Matt. 5:44). Tips for traveling to St. monastery You write and remind me of my assuring promises about your care and your position, arrangement for the edification of spiritual life. The meaning that concerns me in the letter is truly written for your consolation! About your current physical situation: Mother Angelina, as she herself is one of the weakest and, apparently, the cell Anisya takes the upper hand in everything and in her own way delivers whatever she wants - may the Lord be with them, you go to Mother Varvara and, with the help of the Most High, our Creator and Redeemer, continue your residence, often open your thoughts and inner actions in feelings, little by little your ulcers are explained they will not prosper on the worst, but they will be healed by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and I, most indecent, am writing to my mother by this same mail, so that she will accept you into her cohabitation! And Father Macarius will also bless her to take you, for which I remain trustworthy about your situation and hope that now, after the great sorrows you have suffered, the Lord will grant you rest! And don’t worry about mother, she suffered enough from others and from you, but the Most Merciful Lord, from His mercy, although He allows her to suffer from all sorrows, also gives her patience and thereby advances to a sound mind and perfect reasoning! Because it is written in the 33rd Psalm: “Many are the sorrows of the righteous, and the Lord will deliver them from all of them” (Ps. 33:20). And that you express your feelings and good intentions, then this is truly so, when we express such feelings with humble wisdom (that is, with God’s help and for the prayers of our fathers and mothers). And without these explanations it is dangerous, because we cannot be more affirmative. St. Apostle Peter - and he was allowed to fall into cowardice and renounce Jesus Christ. And that Alexandra Ivanovna does not favor you and prevents your mother from taking you in - this turns to your benefit and approval, because Al. Iv., no matter what it means, she will not dare to resist my father’s and my advice and permissions! And you will be at peace, just try not to give reasons or guilt for insulting her, and pray to the Lord God for her and ask that God, in His love for mankind, will give her a sound mind and true reasoning for the knowledge of the worthy Christian rules, and when, according to our advice, you will use, then Al. Iv. It will be completely opposite to you and will be dissolved in love into thoughts, and delving into opinions for you and me is not only not useful, but extremely harmful! And now you can see from the consequences of your seizures and the other harmful spiritual thoughts you mentioned, inspired by the universal enemy, from which may the Merciful Lord deliver you with His unsearchable mercy and grace. To be afraid of Al. Iv. not only sleeping, but also not being vigilant: although she has a fierce appearance, she does not reject well-meaning thoughts, but wants to be saved just like other virgins... For your last request, or, so to speak, desire, in order to resolutely affirm that you and Mother Varvara will be in our St. monastery in a carriage, but, although your petition may be considered useful for you, nevertheless, I imagine and reason that Mother Varvara and Al. Iv. You shouldn’t be upset or offended by this act. Significantly Al. Iv. obliged in many ways, yes, it seems, so that we would not suffer sin for her and from God, as if we were ungrateful and did not show love according to the commandment... In addition, if she herself does not want it more than expected, under some pretext, then it will be possible to honor the Providence of God, and leave her to M. Varvara and me without permission. But you, oh most cowardly Anna, it seems that you can be forced to go with them as soon as they agree! And if it’s not possible, then you can fit in with the Borisovskys, I’m writing to my mother about this, or already, when circumstances don’t allow for them, then you can go with someone else, as long as you go with someone of good character or, if necessary, with one special cart. Wouldn't Ekaterina Semyonovna, the bakery's assistant, agree? Present her the enclosed note and show your respects. Until the time comes, don’t talk to anyone about your trip. I remain with my usual goodwill and devotion. Also report to mother that our construction continues successfully for Melania Ivanovna, but we are surprised that we do not receive letters from her. God alone knows, we believe, apparently she is not healthy. And that’s why she doesn’t order us to write, so as not to lead her son into sadness, and she has few people who are most faithful to her, and those who surround her with relatives are only looking for their own benefits, and not her benefit, because in the last letter we wrote to her and notified that the chambers were being prepared for her, so that she would send money and would like to come to us - and there is no answer, but may the will of the Lord be done in everything. 142. About moving to another monastery You write and, out of your unlimited zeal and well-disposed faith, question my badness, that because of the temptations you have encountered in the holy monastery you inhabit, you intend to give place to anger and ask for my despondency, so that I, feeble-minded, will confirm your intention. I, being in extreme weakness and almost uninterrupted with many activities, asked your brother in spirit, Mikhail Ivan, to write my permission for your love, which you will read together with this. But in addition, please, with complacency and long-suffering, listen to some explanation from my indecency, since in our monastic rank the holy fathers limited the transition from one monastery to other monasteries and explained the faults for which it is allowed to move and about which I am unable to explain to you in detail due to weakness, and due to your new leadership I do not believe there is any absolute need, but only for your information I indicated and I will mention and ask little. at your place. If you are allowed a similar sorrow, which you were still haunted by in worldly life, that is, they slander you, slander you, slander you, reproach you, and your heart lies in the monastery and in some old woman, to which you refer and explain your accumulated thoughts - and this should establish peace within, and sorrow from the enemy is allowed from the outside in order to upset your inner peace. When there is no such feeling inside, then it is necessary to change the place for the necessary honor, and you have the right to find something more convenient for you to gather your feelings and save your soul. I, the obscene one, will tell your love frankly that when I received information that you had arrived at the Kursk Monastery, then I felt the feeling that you were acting in the wrong place, and there was trouble. Mikhail wrote to your love, so that you, having gone to Borisovka to my student Mother Abbess Anatolia, would open your feelings and thoughts; but I explain to you: firstly, upon arrival there, first pray to the Merciful Lord, so that he will grant you a beneficial feeling and faith, co-dissolved with goodwill towards its shrine. If you feel love and reverence for her in your heart, then the very attractiveness of feelings will force you to open your feelings. If you come to the Borisov Hermitage, then I deign to you: first of all, show my letter to Mother Abbess or nun Tabitha, and she will give you advice and so on for your good... And when you decide to stay there completely, then we will also try to ask for you whoever we should. May the gracious Lord help you in everything, and may he place you in a benign haven, and deal with you according to His mercy... 143. Advice on selling a cell. In all matters, refer to Mother Superior. You ask our permission to sell you half of your cell: your affairs are very little known to us - in this you should treat Mother Superior more closely and, with her blessing, do everything with humility, putting aside all anger and pride. 144. Bring thanks to God and try to humble yourself. If you leave Divine service, you will not have success in business You see, the Lord did not despise you, but sent you great consolation: He appeased your parent towards you; This is a very important matter for you, and your brother also provided you with what you need to live. For all this, bring thanks to God and try to humble yourself more, then you will receive more providence from God and condolences from your neighbors. Do not hope that you can achieve more in handicrafts, leaving Divine service: on the contrary, you will have more speed and success when you strive to please God. 145. One should not give in to despair, but rather learn patience. Communion. Repentance. Every temptation is overcome by humility, self-reproach and patience I saw that you, due to the cowardice of your pompous thoughts, almost sank to the bottom of destructive despair! But the Merciful Lord, for the prayers of Father Fr. Macarius and Mother Barbara, protected you; and after three or four days I believe that the grieving and faint-hearted soul, burdened with suffering, can be comforted! And now you yourself can see from experience itself that the Merciful Lord, in His ineffable mercy, commands you to take care of you. “And you must establish yourself in good faith, and not fall into disastrous despair, because, although on the occasion of your absence from the Sofrontian Hermitage I could not hasten as much as I should to write a letter to your love, but if such cases, which carefully arise, are not allowed to us, then from those cases we will learn the most soul-edifying patience. So, let us continue to learn to be patient and praise the Most Merciful Lord, who invisibly nourishes and protects our weak soul and body. In desperation, you write that you are left to the mercy of fate, prey to forces gaping to devour you, and so on... And may the right hand of the Almighty deliver you from such soul-harming utterances. But for this, thank the Lord that when you received the letters and printed the question, you gave, albeit with compulsion, a commendable and decent answer - yes, it seems, in the end, and in fact it turned out to be so! And you mistakenly considered the father of the builder to be the happiest, because when a person is without any feelings and movements, then he is one of the most unfortunate, because he cannot bring the secrets of repentance or repentance before his spiritual father and receive the Holy and Life-giving Mysteries of Christ for the remission of sins! And whoever, although extremely stricken by illness, is rewarded with everything in his right mind, is the happiest. May the Most Merciful Lord greet you, may you grow wise in humility. And as you yourself know very well, every temptation encountered is overcome by humility, self-reproach and patience. May the Most Merciful Lord help you, and protect you, and cover you from all the snares and snares of the devil, and may all your sins be forgiven. 146. You cannot despair about your correction and salvation. Advice on accepting a sister into a cell Although it is sorrowful to bear temptations from debts and from one’s sister, it is evident that this is necessary to heal spiritual weakness; For this reason, surrendering to the will of God, do not despair about your correction and salvation and wait for news when God’s will will be done. You can sell part of the cell according to your need, but make sure that it is a sister in spirit and not from those who are resistant. It seems that this one you are writing about is on a completely different side, maybe there will be another one. I don’t particularly prohibit writing to me, Leonid; shortening these lines, we entrust you to the Providence and Protection of God and send our wretched blessing. 147. Health is damaged by self-indulgence, voluptuous thoughts and anger. Force yourself to be humble. Murmuring against the spiritual father. Curiosity is destructive. The one who followed his own reason fell (Av. Dorotheus) I earnestly wish you generous companionship, good edification, success and salvation! At one time I received your scripture for me, the worst, and I heeded its content according to the strength of my weak understanding. I just barely got around to writing now, and this is not just for you, but for many too. You write that, expecting a promise from my unworthiness and not getting it, having lost hope, you could hardly force yourself to explain something. But, although you are overwhelmed, you repel, you are defeated, but you win: by your cruel nature, you lead to exhaustion of your last health, and the disease increases, and so on, which you couldn’t even describe everything. That you, by your own intention, intend to start drinking decoction, then I do not intend to interfere with you in this part, if you consulted with someone skilled there, and especially with Mother Anthia, what kind of their St. prayers that can heal you, but to foresee your fate of death is not open to me, the indecent one, and therefore I do not dare not only write about it, but even think about it. I decide to remind your love that the Savior Himself conveyed to us in St. The Gospel that death overtakes like a thief (cf. 2 Pet. 3:10). And Rev. John Climacus writes: “Let mortal memory lie down and rise from the bed.” And since you and I, from self-indulgence and from voluptuous actions, rage and hot temper, damaged our health, and especially acquired a certain seizure, then such, damaged, rarely live to an old age with venerable disease, but in the blossoming years of life, death snatches them away. This is amazing to me, that you consider yourself a freak, but are not forced to accept it! And that you confess to your reckless murmuring and insult at my badness, that I, in your self-reflection, handed you over to the whole society to ridicule and that I did not reveal to you about the quality of your brother, and Avdotya explained that he would deceive you, and so on. Now why should I respond to your love against this: to write, although in my old age, some kind of false justification, and you, I am sure, due to your vain nature, will be satisfied. I personally told you enough about your brother that, although he is kind and loves you, I am afraid that the infirmities and expenses that he has might force him to break his promises and so on... And Avdotya also during the conversation said the same thing solely out of regret for you. And that you, out of your usual whim and for your own harm, increased this and were embarrassed, this action, apparently, was your complete will, and conceit was the reason for this... You also write that I, cowardly, ordered Avdotya to hand over to M. Anfia so that she could endure it only until spring. Otherwise, according to my false prophecy, you yourself will abandon her, and for this I will bring you a false justification. Truly, in your opinion, I remain like a dumb fish, but for your voluntary consciousness I am obliged to lie something in the old fashioned way, and to question your love in the form of a proverb that old women used to say (that eggs don’t teach a hen). But, O Anna, why, to your misfortune and frustration, are you curious and testing what, who, where spoke about you, and after hearing, you are offended and embarrassed to excess about the lack of knowledge of your weaknesses. What has your soul-destroying curiosity brought you and me to? And if you, as we advised you, had treated Mother Anthia in all your [weaknesses] and bewilderments, then you would not have suffered so much in these empty rumors filled with emptiness, and you would not have consoled the demon that seduced you for so long, and you would not have broken your weak head with prejudices, because St. Abba Dorotheos writes in his book: “The one who followed his own reason fell.” Now please listen to my justification. Avdotya told me on behalf of mother Anfia that she was very tired of you from your devoted sisters, and most of all from Anna Ivan, so I ordered her to say in response to these words what kind of saint she is. obedience is still forced, at least until spring, and then, maybe, she will leave you herself. I ask you whether you should be angry for these words of mine spoken, whether it would be better for you to reveal all this to Mother Anfia and at the same hours heal these wounds that have flared up inside you, flaring up with the poison of self-esteem. And that you are only from our only encouragement, letters from me and Fr. Macarius, you love and respect Mother Anthia - this faith of yours is based on sand. And if you yourself believed from the benefit of those who are healed by thought and perplexities, then it would be more edifying for you. So, when even now, due to their cruelty, they could not feel the slightest benefit for their soul from Mother Anfia, and our confirmations with Father Fr. Macarius, instead of prosperity and commitment, made you bitter and irritated, and because of such actions of yours, I, for my part, as well as from my mother Anthia, release you, because I no longer have the strength to carry on a vain, but extremely difficult correspondence with you. But it will be enough, because of your weakness, to have a relationship with Father Macarius, who is still able to write and answer, but I, who am indecent, please forgive me. 148. It is disastrous to grieve immensely about the death of your mother. The choice of an old woman for the revelation of thoughts. Force yourself to be patient I received your writing filled with sad expressions and compassion for humanity quite touched my most vile heart. Having regained my sanity, I remembered that it is disastrous to grieve beyond measure and kill oneself untimely - we must thank the Lord in every possible way for everything, no matter what punishments He punishes us in this world. And compassion came to me not about my mother’s death, I am sure that she was taken away from us to rest! But about you, who remained orphans, who have still poorly formed your morality through the feast of obedience. But the only thing I firmly remember is that the Merciful Lord clearly explained in His Divine Scripture that “he does not want death for the sinner, but wants everyone to be saved and to come into true understanding” (cf. Ezek. 33:11). And therefore we must reason: if the Lord had foreseen that, according to our inclinations, we could acquire complete benefit from the memorable mother Varvara, then in every possible way he would have left the living to live with us. But, apparently, we can tell you frankly that we turned out to be unworthy of such a Mother and a forbearer of our infirmities, and during our life with her we did not know how to appreciate her care for us: but often, due to the enemy’s darkening, we grumbled and disgraced her, and often in our thoughts we condemned her for her infirmities during her ministry and painful illness. And how we, and most of all you, can now fully see in reality what feelings we felt during our lives with mother and what feelings we felt after mother. And if the Most Merciful Lord invisibly gives you the opportunity to cleave in spirit to some old woman, then, having been tempted, you will better know the value, and how to reverence your mentor, and with the goodness of the Lord you will prosper. Also, daughter Anna, I, the accursed one, by your goodwill, boldly ask and pray, as I heard from my father’s letter, that during the last hours of my mother’s life, the Lord deigned you, together with Mother Anthia, to take over my mother’s cell as an inheritance. Although I love you in spirit, like a daughter, I also remember that you have a harsh disposition, which I advise for the Lord’s sake, try to pacify yourself, and teach yourself patience, and force yourself to respect and prefer Mother Anthia. - May the Most Merciful Lord answer you in humility, and more than these written by me; and you know that in response to every temptation, humility, self-reproach and patience are victory. May the Lord help you and protect you, and protect you from the snares of the enemy, and may you forgive all your sins, and I, the unworthy one, send my fatherly forgiveness and blessing. 149. Internal warfare is overcome by patience, self-reproach and humility I, the indecent one, received your letter, sent by mail, in which you confess by confession to your pompous and proud wisdom, but most of all you are overcome by contempt, and because of this you are embarrassed and despairing. However, Glory to the Most Gracious Lord, that through the intercession of the God-pleasing Father, you are not again rejected from the bosom of your only mother and caretaker for your most passionate soul and the bearing of infirmities... And that you don’t find a resemblance to the memorable mother Varvara, I don’t dare contradict you about this. But how unworthy we turned out to be for Mother Varvara to live a little longer and use us - and therefore we must follow the advice of St. John Climacus and ask with undoubting faith, and the Holy Spirit, and through the unskilled, will give us, in clear pronunciation, soul-edifying answers and advice through her lips. ...On the outside there is a war, but on the inside it is intense and dangerous - for such a pre-disastrous battle, you will have to achieve victory, namely, with patience, self-reproach and humility. Because you are describing your former habits in order to benefit everyone, but since you were allowed to become impoverished for the sake of your humility, then you need to maintain yourself in moderation and treat others with mere words. I entrust you to the protection of the Almighty Lord - and may the Lord enlighten you, and may He enlighten you for good, and may He help, and may He save you from all the snares of the devil, and may He forgive you all your sins, and I, who am a great sinner, send you fatherly forgiveness and blessing. 150. Stay awake, be sober and take courage. The Lord, by our good will, is able to send ways to salvation I read your beautifully written lines and, due to the weakness of my understanding, heeded them, and for the incomprehensible misdeeds committed by you, may the Most Merciful Lord forgive you, and enlighten you, and enlighten you with His grace and mercy. I also ask you and pray with humility to stay awake, be sober and take courage, and move away from the wines that deviate towards flesh and blood and all voluptuous movements, and from the clouds and noisy storm of excitement that torment your mind and feelings and want to plunge your good will into the mud of voluptuousness. But we, even if we see something in ourselves from the evil Speculator, rise again and flow with repentance and tenderness to the One who revives the dead, and raises the fallen, and crowns those suffering from such evil tormentors, and who bestows freedom and gifts of reasoning against warfare. You write that you are deprived of contemplation and soul-edifying instructions, but, O spiritual daughter, do not be faint-hearted and do not be sad about this - the All-merciful Lord is omnipotent and omnipotent to forever send us invisibly, at our good desire, methods and saving examples, and he is able to send such skillful elders to console us with them and nourish us for the good edification of our souls, but we do not let us weaken in our intention and with hope and complacency let us ask the Lord. And I am the accursed one, although in body I was separated from you for my unworthiness, but in spirit I am inseparable from you, and in these intricate lines I talk with you as if face to face. 151. Sorrows are caused because of pride. Consider yourself worse than everyone else. Beware of attachment to the world. Think that you are the last one in the monastery You write that because of your pride, strong and heavy sorrows are sent to you, you yourself realize what kind of pride it is, and we agree with this - so it is necessary to seek a cure for this illness in the opposite of pride, i.e. in humility, which is what St. Isaac the Syrian writes in Homily 79 that unbearable sorrows are sent to the proud, but whoever is to blame for this, they themselves believe that the cure is in humility. And we advise you to look for this saving medicine, and, recognizing yourself heartily worthy of sorrows, accept them with patience and selflessness, no matter how you bear them. Thank God, who still spares you, without sending greater ones, and in all your actions, observe that the enemy’s seed - pride does not act, but be respectful towards your neighbors and consider yourself the worst of all, then, although reproaches and reproach will come, imputing yourself to be worthy - you will bear it more comfortably, and humility is more acquired when we do not follow our own mind and will, but by We listen to Bose, to whom we have a goodwill. Our fathers and mentors of our life wrote at length about this; delve into their writings, such as: St. Dorotheus, John Climacus and other saints who wrote about this virtue, how to acquire it and how to seek it. And you try to follow this, and the Lord will not leave you, and will ease your sorrow, and even console you, although you are afraid of your creditors and reprimands from them, but God is strong and can give them a compassionate feeling about you, and they will expect your debt. As for the weakness of your brothers, you cannot help this, you can advise about abstinence, but in other respects you must surrender them to the Providence of God, He is strong to strengthen His creation, if they have this will, try to reconcile yourself to your parent, so that God’s blessing may also contribute to you with his blessing. Beware of addiction to the world, although it flatters you with peace and consolation, they are so short-lived that you will not see how you will lose them, but a place of repentance, melancholy, despondency and no consolation will come. You say that you want to be even the last in the monastery - do it: when someone reproaches you, think that you are the last and worthy of this. May the Lord grant you, according to your will, the accomplishment of good deeds in your endeavor. For your repentance, may the Lord forgive you and we, the unworthy, forgive and allow, but this is only some consolation for you; however, she must definitely tell the confessor, although not in such detail, but secretly, because there the rite is performed and the prayer of permission is read from the confessor. May the Lord give you reason in everything, and may he protect you and cover you from all the snares of the enemy, and we, sending you our unworthy blessing, remain your pilgrims. 152. Leaving the monastery, it is impossible to remain peaceful. In the monastery you’ll be better at peace Glory to the Most Merciful Lord that He gave you the feeling to return to the monastery, which was completely wavering. Even if you remained in the world, what do we care about this: people live in peace and are peaceful, but you, having already devoted yourself to the life of the monastery and leaving it, could not be peaceful, and it is doubtful that the brothers would always support you, maybe they were zealous, but the circumstances did not work out, for you can’t rely on a person other than the One God. Living in a monastery, although it is meager, is more convenient for humility and you will be humbler better. By your strength, you asked your parent for forgiveness, and although it is not said directly, everything is peaceful - then be peaceful, and do not stop reproaching yourself, looking at him with guilt. The Lord will announce to him and give him a more compassionate feeling when you are peaceful towards Mother Anthia - this is your benefit: she, as you yourself know, does not need those who come, but accepts them out of compassion and obedience; try not to allow strangers to approach her, and not for others to endure rotten words that darken the world. May the Lord forgive you, and we, the unworthy, forgive and allow, and wish you peace, health and salvation. 153. Entrust yourself and your neighbors to the Providence of the Heavenly Father: be more moderate and do not allow your heart to become immeasurably and recklessly upset. On the acceptance of sisters and brothers into the cell With the desire for peace and salvation, I will tell you from my heart: you should not worry so much about the participation of your relatives, but rely more on the Lord in the patience of your soul, especially since such attachment, as disastrous for the heart, is alien to the devotion of the Most High, and because all cases are not blind, but guided by the Providence of the World Ruler. No matter how sensitive we are, we can never have as much compassion for our neighbors as our Creator, the more sensitive we are to any object, the blinder we are in our understanding about it, and for this we must sacredly entrust ourselves and our neighbors to the Providence of the Heavenly Father - to be as moderate as possible, not to allow our hearts to become immeasurably and recklessly upset. You should not even enter into their mediation when you have already entered into a calling most worthy of God’s self-sacrifice. Concerning them as much as possible, say in your soul: “The will of the Lord be done,” and cast your sorrows on the Lord, and try to guide yourself in the Lord. - Cherish time: it is irrevocable, pay more attention to yourself, let this be your feat! As for accepting your sister into cohabitation, I only have to say that “two are better than one,” and beyond that, I submit your feelings to the will of the Universal Patron, to Whom I entrust you in everything. “I absolutely do not advise accepting brothers, even relatives, into your cell beyond the blessed time - otherwise you will incur temptation on yourself. 154. Wealth is bad for you It is in vain that you accept false thoughts in our attitude towards you. Although we are great sinners, whoever asks for anything from the scriptures, we, despite all the time, answer: it turns out that for others there is one for two or three letters, looking at the need, but this did not happen to you, and for every letter of yours you have, albeit meager, our answers. You complain about poverty, but wealth is still harmful for you; when a quarter moves in your pocket, then you will show yourself. Having written this, we hope that you will accept reproach from us better than praise. Your parent, when he comes here and sees us, we are ready to receive him. Congratulating you on the holiday and wishing to celebrate it peacefully and calmly, we remain your unworthy pilgrims. 155. In sorrow, resort to the Most Merciful Lord. Pride is the gravest of vices. In vain I changed my cell You very desperately accept the visitation of God and, wanting to avoid this sorrow by criminal actions, you do not think that by doing this you are striving with quick steps towards eternal destruction. - Resist from these impulses. In sorrow, resort to the Most Merciful Lord: punishing the body with sorrowful instructions, he heals the soul. If you came to the proper feeling and realized the severity of your sins, then you would silently praise the Lord, who is punishing here in order to save you from eternal torment. When you accept the inclination that I am not such a sinner as to punish me like that, then know that pride alone is the gravest of vices. Humble yourself, imputing punishment worthy of being, do not blame anyone, do not grumble at anyone, and especially at God, you will see the relief of your sorrows. - Here are the means of salvation for you. Your deceased brother cannot be returned - pray to God for him, may the Lord rest his soul, but you sinned by placing your hope in him. We heard that you left your sister again in your cell, you did it in vain - you must be support and consolation for each other in grief; Yes, you experienced harm while living alone in your cell. May the Lord comfort you and instruct you in what is appropriate to do, and may He do what is useful for your salvation for your relatives. 156. God allows all sorrows according to our order. Bearing sorrows: the proud feel it more, and the humble endure it more easily You describe your sorrows in your letter, but are you the only mortal who has only sorrows? No one will escape them, but not at the same time and not to the same extent. And God sends everything according to our order: the proud feel it more, and the humble endure it more comfortably, because in the feeling of their hearts they consider themselves worthy and do not blame anyone, but only themselves. Your grief increases, since you consider yourself equal to M. Arcadia and feel slavery. This thought is far from humbling: imagine boys of different ages and ranks studying at the seminary, and then one comes out as a bishop, and the other remains a sexton, and it happens that this latter is also higher than him in rank and admission. The same thing happens in service: being equal in the lower rank, one reaches the rank of general, and the other, with a minor rank, is promoted at the same time. Do the latter have the right to grieve for the former? Take measures, sister, to your organization and recognize your unfair reasoning. We cannot decisively determine whether to give the cell to you for rent or to sell part of it. Regarding your needs, you can consult with M. Arkady and, with the blessing of M. Abbess, do what is more convenient for you - the Lord will bless you. 157. It is impossible without sorrows. For fulfilling the canon, the Lord is able to grant forgiveness In two of your letters you write about your grief over the destruction of the neighboring cell, which is why yours also requires construction - a canopy and a porch. We see that you grieve, grumble, blame others and are embarrassed, which you will not harm them in the least, but will not help yourself, and yet you must build, only with damage to your spiritual structure, and if you had accepted this visit with patience, you could have taken advantage of it. If you recognize yourself as a sinner, then you know that the wounds of a sinner are many, but when you are a righteous one, then again it is written: “Many are the sorrows of the righteous” (Ps. 33:20). No matter where you turn, you cannot live without sorrow. Who arranges them? God Himself provides for everyone and controls everything; whoever accepts otherwise, departs from the truth and becomes like the dumb. You write in both letters about accepting Stephanida into your cell; but who is Stefanida? We have no idea about it. On our part, God will bless when the boss deigns. For fulfilling the canon laid down for you, the Lord is able to grant you forgiveness. Handing you over to His protection, we remain your unworthy pilgrims. 158. Instructions for a dying woman. Sins occurred due to lack of humility. Preparing for death: repent and humble yourself The feeling of your illness makes you think about your approaching death, which is a good thing. Scripture says: “Remember your last, you will never sin” (cf. Sir. 7:39). Moreover, having remembered your previous sins, repent and humble yourself, and think about what caused your sins - because you did not have humility. And again we say: humble yourself, and the Lord will have mercy on you. It is impossible to carry out fulfillment according to your spiritual, because according to the laws it has no force, but with the good will of the Mother Superior, it can be ordered in this way. After your death, your parents and sister have no right to your cells; it belongs to the monastery. Our advice is to write to you so that she would do the favor of selling you after your death and paying her your debt of 100 rubles. And she gave 100 rubles to our Hermitage, and used everything else for the church being built. The church itself will daily and forever pray to God for you, as it prays for the creators of St. of this church. Also give the image to your monastery, have moderate sorrow for your brothers, believing in the Providence of God that He heals your souls against those who are contrary. Be complacent and calm. 159. Do everything with the blessing of the abbess. You need to mature yourself and reconcile with your sister. You write about your sister’s indignation at you for your journey to your brothers and for the anger you feel towards her. Although you boast about your supposed heroic deeds and affection for your brothers, we cannot approve of this either: how can a monastery girl dare to undertake such an undertaking even without the blessing of her superior? If something contrary were to happen to you and the monastery would suffer trouble, why dare? Can you help the brothers with your presence? Pray to God for them and leave them to His judgment: He is righteous and does not punish anyone without righteousness. If they are justified, thank God for this and ask to strengthen them in the future on the path of righteousness. So, you must mature yourself and reconcile yourself with your sister. It’s good that you have such a meek abbess, but another would have acted differently. Don’t dare to undertake such undertakings in the future, we wish you to become wiser, otherwise I’ll be wise and fool you. 160. It is necessary to find peace in sorrows, relying on the Providence of God. Be more concerned about the salvation of your soul You write about your sorrow among your brethren, but this is no longer new for you - you must be at peace in sorrow, relying on the Providence of God, which all acts according to His humane justice: He is able to justify innocence; if he punishes, it is not without reason, and although not for this guilt, then, most likely, for another. He does this in order to save their souls, but you, not understanding this, are in vain troubled and embarrassed - and thereby you sin. Be more concerned about the salvation of your soul, for which you have moved into this monastery: you have a lot of weeds in your field, try to pluck them out and produce good fruit. You are laboring in vain, asking for our blessing to come to our monastery: we have no right to bless or forbid anyone who comes and comes - the hotel and rest are prepared according to local custom, which is quite well known to you, and you have information from others. With the new sisters, may the Lord help you to live peacefully according to the commandments of God and the teachings of St. fathers Wishing you peace, health, salvation, we remain your unworthy pilgrims. 161. The reason for non-peacefulness is a bad conscience. Pride and pride blind a person You write that you encountered strong embarrassment against M. Arcadia through her reproaches. You don’t know the reason for this, but, meanwhile, you explain it yourself: you don’t have any special faith in her, and, therefore, you haven’t opened your conscience purely; showed the outer disposition, and therefore your opposite is known to her heart, and one must believe that some cases, perhaps, came to her attention through their connection with others through their revelations. In our understanding, this very thing is the reason for the non-peace between you. Don't contradict yourself. You say: “I can’t leave her alone,” and you don’t have any special faith in her, what good is that? If you want to be favored and used, then throw away all pride and self-love and completely change yourself - these passions are so blinding that we consider even bad things to be good. We don’t find it necessary for you to leave, but to reconcile yourself is necessary. Wishing you peace and health of soul and body, we remain your unworthy pilgrims. 162. There is no need to be embarrassed because of the abbess’s misconduct. Fear has been allowed to take the place of vanity and pride. Where there is no humility, there is contempt and arrogance For the misconduct of the Mother Abbess against Father Fr. Macarius, it is not good for us to be embarrassed a lot, but to endure what comes our way and pray to God for those who do this to us, so that for their St. prayers and the Merciful Lord forgave us all our efforts. And for the others mentioned by your love, the psalmist wrote by the Holy Spirit: “Do not be jealous of those who are wicked; do not envy those who do iniquity, for the grass will soon be cut down” (Ps. 36:1-2). Although it is worthy of pity that you could not reveal all your deeds to the priest, but for this we leave ourselves to the Almighty Lord, who with His Almighty Providence will heal you! And since fear began to chill you, then you must be forced into this battle with all humility and trust in the Lord, that although our vanity and pride allowed us not only to fear, but also to dream from the enemy the devil, but we firmly remember the prophetic verses of the 26th Psalm: “If an army takes up arms against me, my heart will not fear. If battle arises against me, I will trust in Him” (Ps. 27:3). And for this I, the accursed one, greatly grieve in my soul that you, with such extremes in the struggle, cannot still feel affection for Mother Anthia and continue to be frank in everything. Where will we find M. Varvara now? I entrust you to the protection of the Almighty Lord, and may the Lord enlighten you, enlighten you for good, and help you, and protect you, and protect you from all the snares of the enemy, and may you forgive all your sins. And I, a great sinner, send you fatherly forgiveness and blessing! ...It is clear that where humility does not dwell, contempt and arrogance abides there. Let us look carefully to see if we are entangling ourselves with pride and self-reflection, if we do not need, according to the apostolic testament, to put aside all pride and strive with patience for the feat set before us (cf. Heb. 12:1). 163. If you are not accepted into the monastery, ask the Lord: He is strong to help. We received your writings dated March 8 and March 15 along with Daria’s writings. She asked with the first mail for an answer what she should do. The abbess does not accept her into the monastery - what to do when the Lord does not tell her. Tell her that we have no will in this, and not only could we not write to her with the first mail, but now we don’t have the time; tell her this, let her ask the Lord - He is able to instruct her what to do. You wrote about Augustus that he was preparing for an exodus, but after that there was no rumor; apparently she has recovered. We send you and her our unworthy blessing. 164. One must rely on the Providence of God. The cause of sorrows is inside you. Reproach yourself, not your neighbors You ask permission to go and say goodbye to your loved ones. It was impossible to quickly give you an answer due to my absence, therefore, this should relate to the Providence of God - you had to do this or that according to your will. What I really don’t like about you is that you find other people, and not yourself, the cause of your sorrows. This strong blindness comes from pride, and therefore you do not find consolation and your sorrows are joyless. The Holy Fathers walked this path through experience and handed down this teaching to us, which is partly experienced by many in our times. - Read from St. Isaac the Syrian in the 51st Word and in St. Abba Dorotheus, about reproaching yourself and not your neighbor. In this you will find peace, for “The Lord looks upon the humble, but opposes the proud” (cf. James 4:6). We wish you to calm down and go to your cell with your sisters. Entrusting you to the Protection of God, we remain your unworthy pilgrims. 165. God's providence arranges everything for our benefit. If you don’t put the blame on yourself, you won’t stop being poor. We cannot turn God's hand away from you We received two of your letters, one from Dmitrovsk, and the other from Sevsk. How pitiful is your arrangement in your first letter! You are afraid to appear in Sevsk, you remember the anger. To appear like honey and tar is not at all decent. Where have you left the Providence of God, which cares for everyone, and especially for you, arranging everything for the good and, through permissive cases, giving us a means to recognize our passions and eradicate them - and you still blame people. You recently visited us and heard about this many times, we find it unnecessary to write about what has already been written and verbally suggested many times. If you do not put the blame on yourself, you will not stop being poor, bearing the sorrow of God’s punishment for the proud. I don’t have the strength or time to write about your cases described in your last letter in detail, but we just see you all offended and grieving about this. We cannot turn the hand of God away from you, but you can appease God when you begin to follow the Christian path, and at first, even if you grieve, it is because you did not endure the insult, and not because you were insulted - God will look upon this dispensation and there will be hope for correction. It seems to us that it was in vain that you decided to give the treat; apparently, God is not in favor of this, God will allow you to have troubles out of vanity. You are afraid that M. Arkadia will understand something about you from our words, then you yourself ask, when you find it necessary, to tell her your grumbling against her, but you yourself can’t bring yourself to tell her. One thing contradicts the other: in the first letter you consider her not the last reason for your confusion and sorrow, and when you were here, you did not intend to be frank with her, which we did not force you to do. But consider for yourself, what benefit do you get from your unauthorized arrangement? The enemy has captured you with pride and is making an obstacle for you, not wanting your correction. We leave it to your will to choose the best. You reproach for reckless orders to hold meetings without bread; But did you do a good job, borrowing money for what you needed and also spending it on the meeting? About your Lukeria, we are not imams of power, if it is impossible for you to hold it, then you have the authorities. We thank you for the grapes, but it was in vain that you sent them, you and M.I. have a need. From the thoughts you had against me, Leonid, may the Lord forgive you, and I forgive you. It was wrong for you to act rudely with your parent; after reconciliation, everything was almost upset again. Wishing you peace, health and salvation, we remain your unworthy pilgrims. 166. It is impossible to do good without your admiration. The enemy wins because there are no weapons - self-reproach and humility You write: “Now I’m going to my mother to explain my sin against her,” but we don’t know what fruit your intention brought. You write above indignantly that we are giving it up to your will, and you would like to do it as we please and is useful for you. We have experienced similar cases with many and find that it is impossible to decide on anything good without bending our will, for the enemy resists it and raises a fight, which, without resisting with humility, they grumble at us for being forced. And your words: “I myself see that the action is hostile, but I will not overcome the evil thought” because you do not have weapons: self-reproach and humility. About Lukeria - whether you should keep her or not, we cannot go into your details - we should have general advice about this with our elders. We wish you and the sisters living with you peace, harmony and love. 167. “The Lord resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6) You write that you have not fully explained yourself to M. Arkadia, and yet you respect and love her, but cannot tolerate her reproaches. Why is this, if not from pride, which gives you no peace, torments you, torments you. When you explained your thoughts, you calmed down - you had to cast aside other thoughts from yourself. The same thing - and a good deed for you falls like a heavy stone on your soul, and this is also due to pride, for “The Lord resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). And in Wisdom he says: “Do not attack my proud soul, which was given to you, which it received from the hand of God and give thanks, but the other does not give back.” Your pretenses before M. Arkady are all known to her, and by doing this, you are deceiving yourself and God, showing frankness, but inside it is different, but there is such a notice about you. Try to correct yourself by asking for God's help, and we remain your pilgrims. 168. God's providence provides for us and works for our benefit. The Lord commanded us to seek humility and self-reproach. Go gradually, endure sorrows We must be sure that God's Providence always provides for us and works for our benefit, even in cases that are contrary to us. You wanted to see me on the way in order to convey something unfinished, but, apparently, there was no need for this and there would be no benefit to you - it was not fulfilled according to God’s will, after which you saw this yourself and calmed down. It’s a very strange arrangement for your ears, especially the idea that the weight of your own humiliation leads you to insensibility. This is not consistent with anything, neither with Scripture, nor with the nature of things. The Lord commanded to seek peace in humility: “Learn from Me” and so on (Matthew 11:29). St. David cries out: “In our humility I will remember that the Lord creates wisdom”; “The Lord resists the proud, but gives goodness to the humble” (James 4:6). The Holy Fathers, who have carried out this skillfully, confirm us. St. Dorotheos writes: “How can one not have peace if one reproaches and humiliates oneself, and even if something sad happens to him, he is worthy of having it beforehand, and is not embarrassed.” Similarly, Climacus and other fathers teach about the inexplicable benefits of self-reproach, but you, on the contrary, are burdened, therefore it is false and incorrect. Your soul burns with the desire for sorrows and illnesses, and the putting aside of all cares in order to be inseparable from God - you are very far from this. It’s the same thing, as if you were brought into the bridal chamber in dirty clothes, so you, shaken by the violence of passions, suddenly find yourself in the land of dispassion. Go gradually, endure sorrow, first considering it worthy for your sins, then draw closer to hope, and then the third degree will not separate you from God - love! First show in practice the patience of sorrows with humility, do not give yourself over to deeds, words, or thoughts that offend, but consider yourself alone to be worthy of it. When you follow this path, but without the opinion that you are doing well, then perhaps you will achieve it, but the thought that comes to you without skill is not grounded. 169. You must see the bad not in your neighbor, but in yourself. You must believe those who accuse you Truly, according to the word of St. Barsanuphius, giving up crying about his sins, should cry for you, seeing your disastrous dispensation - you always see the bad in people, and not in yourself, you attribute oppression to human malice, and not to the Providence of God. You ask for sorrows and want to endure them, but now you don’t. The harm caused to M. Arkadia by your haste (as always happens to you) was done, but in front of everyone or many accusing you, you alone justified yourself. However, I’m not at peace - and when I condemned myself and blamed myself for your sorrow and vanity, then I would probably calm down. Don’t you see that God has given you permission to be smarter and more careful in the future? Here you are poking around everywhere and beating everyone off, and now you are still bragging that you served alone - well, expect fruits from your vain labors. We understand that our lines are unpleasant for you, but it also pains us to see such a dispensation of yours, from which may the Lord deliver you and grant you, even through sorrow, to humble yourself. Do not trust yourself that you are doing everything well, but, on the contrary, you must believe others who are reproaching you. 170. Work on your inner structure You write that you are in an extreme situation due to the misery of your dispensation. Who is the reason for this? You tried to hide it from everyone, but perhaps many saw it, but you did not hear the voice of reproof that could benefit you. Now you yourself see the fruits of your labors. You ask us to give you one thing, but we don’t understand what this alms consists of. You say: you need help, but we do not reject you and do not reject you, but the Lord Himself is able to give help when we humbly resort to Him. Read from St. Isaac the Syrian 79 word, there you will see your dispensation, why it occurs and what medicine should be used for healing. Entrusting you to the Protection of God, we remain your unworthy pilgrims. 171. “The Lord resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). Rely on the will of the abbess You write that with your other sins you remember all your sorrows and disasters, mental and physical, for “The Lord resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). Remembering your boundless pride, do not flaunt it, but throw off yourself like an indecent garment, and try to put on the robe of humility, which will cover your spiritual nakedness and bring joy and joy to the soul. We do not interfere with the acceptance of the girl or the use of medicine, but we leave it to the will of the abbess in both cases. What you want to test yourself in hasn’t been explained for years, but we don’t understand. 172. Be in perfect obedience. During the Six Psalms one should not be baptized That you, with the help of God, are in perfect obedience - this is for you and for everyone in general, according to the testimony of St. fathers, soul-saving. You already know this enough, the sense of faith is open to you, and moreover, this disposition of yours towards us in the Lord is not unpleasant. May the Lord help you, but I don’t force you to do this, and if you really settle down, then you will be able to feel greater consolation. I entrust you to the protection of God and, through the sincere advice of Mother Anthia, I nourish myself with the hope that you will improve yourself. May the Lord perfect your wise proposal and feat. What do you agree with the true traditions of St. Father, I commanded M. not to be baptized during the Six Psalms - I advise you to keep this: and therefore this covenant must be observed even more, because I fully agree with the divine advice of our God-inspired fathers. If someone asks you why you don’t imitate them, then you can answer graciously that the truth requires this: let him look in the Lenten Triod and in the Rules about this, and moreover, the elder woman commanded everyone. 173. He who is humble in all insults is not embarrassed, but does not cease to seek spiritual salvation. Faith, hope and love are the great and most important virtues You informed me that upon receipt of my letter with the image, you were delighted, and upon receipt of the letter from Fr. Macarius was saddened, and therefore a disorder was created in your soul. Apparently, there is still a spirit of pride in you that resists humility. - The humble person is not embarrassed in all the insults that befall him, but does not cease to seek spiritual salvation. Judge for yourself how he will write to you and what kind of moral teaching he will put into your head when you yourself say that she is thin. Although it is indecent in everything, I pray to the Lord that it will strengthen your soul and plant in your heart faith, hope and love, which are the great and most important virtues, for faith makes us believe, hope makes us trust, love makes us love God - these three virtues are still needed for your salvation, without them no one is worthy to enjoy the sight of God and no one can be saved. I ask you to heed your salvation and not believe your eyes, which see other people’s vices from afar, but not your own. You might be interested in: