О. Иоанн теперь

What is the current Fr. John? At first glance Fr. John doesn’t stop paying attention, but it’s only one, two minutes until you are bathed in the light of his eyes. The power of these eyes was perfectly described by one foreigner. These expressive “Northern Russian” eyes, he writes, clearly indicate that, despite his outward modest appearance, in the face of Fr. John we are dealing with an extraordinary nature. His eyes, as Spinoza puts it, “look at people and things not in order to ridicule, not in order to mourn, not in order to despise, but then in order to understand,” and he really often understands what remains an insoluble riddle for others. This is not enough. His eyes tell even more. They expose the extraordinary energy of will, thanks to which the light of Christ’s love spreads across seas and lands, and the influence of every dark force is victoriously reflected. Eyes o. They pity John, love him and pray for him. The author of these lines saw him for the first time 15 years ago and still cannot forget his look. From the upper deck of the ship he looked down tenderly at the crowd of thousands of people with an infinitely affectionate, infinitely powerful, joyful gaze. He looked straight into the soul, subdued it, called it to follow him. “People’s eyes looked at him, and joy, delight, tenderness were visible in them. Many people shed tears. What was that? It was as if they had found something familiar, dear, but still hidden at the bottom of everyone’s soul; they found it not in themselves, in someone else, but that’s all the same; They felt that maybe a person was beautiful, and there was such a person, and here he stood in front of them. And everything that was beautiful in each of them rose up within them, and they doused their ideal with tears of delight and joy. Father John began to speak. They claim that Gospel scenes are not repeated in our church now. No, this was undoubtedly a gospel scene. He spoke sincerely and simply that he was glad to see us, that he wished us all the best and was happy to see that we believed in God and His Christ. The people froze. The eyes sparkled with tears, kind, blissful, happy. If the intensity of faith and holy joy were weighed on the scales of God's truth, I think this moment would be an indicator of the great faith of our people. If at that moment Fr. John told these people to leave everything and follow him, I am convinced that many would have followed him. Such words were not said, but it is clear that having touched the edge, only the edge, with the holy and truthful, these people began to come to life.” And then, under the gentle touch of his hand, I, then litigating and suffering from the doubt of an awakening consciousness, found my soul. This look, these speeches, this people listening to him, was for me an irresistible argument in favor of God and Christianity, in favor of life and life in the church. “A church minister came, enveloped in the truth of God, and the beautiful and good spirit of Christ began to speak in the people” 8 . Ero mood can be defined in words: it is full of spirit; he is a God-bearer, Christ is in him. Father John is a man who is burdened by “grief” and “his desire in grief.” But we will talk about this later. As a preliminary characteristic, what has been said will suffice for now. Let's take a better look. John in his daily life. I will first describe the Kronstadt day. O. John talks with the people Father John loves the morning very much. “The morning hours are the best hours of the day. At this time, Fr. writes in his diary. John, the inner man looks out more freely from under the vanity of light, from under the darkness of his flesh, unbound by the temptations of the evil one. The rest of the time it is covered in almost impenetrable darkness; there is a painful bandage over his eyes, hiding from him the true order of spiritual and sensual things. For him, the morning hours are like hours of a new life, renewed by temporary sleep.” And oh. John would gladly give his morning hours of rest in God - to thoughts of God, away from this ordinary, albeit holy, bustle. Unfortunately, this is impossible for him. Half an hour of prayer is all he can take away in the morning from his work for others. And he prays “in his own words” with the joy of one entering into the light of the Lord’s day. “Creator and Lord of the world! - he prays. Look mercifully upon Thy creation, adorned with Thy divine image in these morning hours; may Thy eye live and enlighten, through darkness more than the brightest rays of the sun, my soul, dark and mortified by sin. Take away from me despondency and laziness, grant me joy and spiritual vigor, so that in the joy of my heart I glorify Your goodness, holiness, Your boundless greatness, Your endless perfections at every hour and in every place. For You are my Creator and the Lord of my life, Lord, and You are due glory from Your rational creatures for every hour, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen". Father walking alone in the kindergarten Prayer gives him that iron energy with which he so surprises everyone. He leaves his room strong and joyful. Of course, he would be happy to take advantage of the morning, think, pee, talk with nature. But where is this? It's too much. Here is a striking fact: Fr. John has a kindergarten that he loves. And so he hardly has to see him for years. “When does Father rest? - asks a fairly famous writer one of the Kronstadt admirers, who lives almost next to Fr. John. - And God knows. In the whole year he only had to walk for one hour in kindergarten! - Just about an hour. This summer he went to his homeland, in Sura, and returned at night and completely unexpectedly for no one... He got up, which means he was early and was walking around the kindergarten with his thoughts... so, almost, he walked for an hour until a passing thrush saw him... Well, of course, it’s over!.. - This means Father’s peace. Therefore, now everyone knew that the priest had arrived, and people from all over Kronstadt began to come to the porch. And again, it means that Father’s “suffering” has begun. Yes, for Fr. John is precisely “suffering.” From the very morning Fr. John is besieged by admirers, so that immediately after prayer he is sometimes forced to receive, although he avoids this in order to “gather his soul” before the liturgy. However, here the interval between morning prayer and service is very short. They begin to ring for matins. We take the day of a big holiday. At the door o. They are waiting for John. This waiting crowd of pilgrims is colorful and diverse: here is an important gentleman who has forgotten his prim arrogance, and next to him huddles a sick old woman, whispering a prayer and completely imbued with faith in the gracious power of prayer about. John. Immediately, a pale, thin woman, in a torn dress, poorly protecting her from gusts of strong wind, stands sadly and thoughtfully, clinging to the wall. A mournful expression of bitter, hopeless need and grief was imprinted on her blue face and clearly reflected in her eyes, hopefully directed at Fr. John. She patiently waits for the priest to appear in order to look at his face, full of compassion; one glance at him seems enough to her to console her grieving soul, to calm her down, to warm her, to save her. And she certainly won't be wrong. Here he appeared at the door. He is quickly escorted to the door and placed in the carriage. Otherwise, he will not be able to get to the church through the crowds of “anticipating the movement of water.” People rush after the carriage, they grab it by the wheels... Cheers are heard. Left. Here and there shouts were heard: “Father, bless!” “Father, pray,” and the whole crowd, as one person, rushes to run after his carriage, repeating their exclamations and catching his blessing hand in flight. The people run all the way to the gate built behind the cathedral, through which Fr. John walks straight into the altar. Here he is met by a new crowd. “We saw a touching picture at the gate,” writes Arch. Evdokim. A huge crowd of people met and surrounded their beloved shepherd, rushing to vie with each other to receive his blessing, or even to touch the hem of his robe. In a fit of spiritual zeal, the people completely forgot all caution in dealing with the priest and pressed, pushed him in all directions, not allowing free passage. Despite the pushes and crush, squeezed and embarrassed from everywhere, Fr. John did not express his displeasure to the unwary people with a single muscle, but patiently looked at the bustling crowd with a meek smile and did not make the slightest attempt to escape from the crowd. By the beginning of Matins, the huge church, accommodating more than seven thousand people, is full of people. The singers are in the choir, and the cathedral clergy have also gathered. Here he is, oh. John entered the church through the side doors made in the altar. It is absolutely unthinkable to go through the people. If Fr. John entered the church through the western doors through the people, then, it seems, he would never have reached the altar. To pass about. John into the altar, along the wall the length of the entire church, the place was fenced off with a lattice. But this helped little, since he was constantly stopped here too. They said there was once such a case: Fr. John wanted to bless someone through the bars when he walked into the altar with this place. They immediately grabbed his hand and began to cover it with kisses, passing it to each other. “Tell me, tell me,” the people heard far away. If Fr. had not been taken from the people by force. John, it is difficult to say not only when he would have come to the altar, but also about in what form he would have come there. They say that sometimes even parts of his clothes were torn off. Having ascended to the altar, he began to warmly greet first his colleagues, and then the “lucky ones” who had the opportunity to see him so close. - Oh, hello, brothers, hello. He did everything hastily and quickly. Having said hello, he put on his red vestments and began Matins. They say red is his favorite color. And in the altar, this great Christian sanctuary, they did not give Fr. Rest to John. First one, then the other, at a convenient moment, approached him with various requests and needs. Knowing well that each of those in the altar came here with some kind of hot, urgent need, Fr. John himself sometimes approached one or the other. He will ask about need, grief, and give good advice. It seems he gave money to some people. He will caress one and pat another on the shoulder. Praying about. John impetuously, passionately - inspiredly. “To me,” says the thoughtful Arch. Evdokim - I especially remember one moment of his service during the matins. The canon on the choir reads Fr. John, and always himself. It is impossible not to pay attention to this reading. “Tenderness, enthusiasm, firmness, hope, hope, joy, sadness, deep reverence - everything was heard in this wonderful reading.” "ABOUT. John approached the altar, knelt before it, folded his hands crosswise on the altar, and laid his head on them. Under his hands, it seemed, he had notes asking him to remember the sick and the dead. I looked at him from behind the columns. Her hair fell in strands over her shoulders; the whole of it was illuminated by a weak morning light, barely breaking through the thickness of the morning northern fog. He remained in this position for about ten minutes. It seemed from the outside that he seemed to have died and before us there was only his body, abandoned, discarded by his soul, like some kind of clothing. At these moments I vividly remembered those pictures that depict how the soul, after being separated from the body, contemplates it from heaven. The body there really seems to be like clothing abandoned, discarded by the soul. Oh, what a prayer this is, what a most sacred moment... A person leaves the earth and ascends with his soul to heaven, the inhabitant of the earth penetrates into the higher worlds, the limited understands the secrets of heaven, the fleshly becomes spiritual, the weak is strengthened, the grieving is consoled, the strong becomes stronger.” Reads about. John, as it were, is conversing, talking with the Savior, the Mother of God and the saints, as if they were here before him, and not somewhere in the heights invisible to us, in the supra-stellar, transcendental worlds” (Two days in Kronstadt). He does not read, but proclaims - precisely proclaims: “because the reading and prayers of Fr. John had very little in common with the usual reading of most priests... Loudly, sharply and nervously, as if tearing each word from his heart, he pronounces the holy prayer, and from these sounds, filling the restrained silence of a crowded church, there really is a breath of something holy and higher.” Everyone and everyone powerfully feels that this is not a simple reading in front of a revered icon, but rather a living conversation with a visible and existing Being. “Holy Great John, Forerunner of the Lord, pray to God for us! – The clergy interrupts his last words, and you strain all your last hearing to make out the next ones. "Baptist and Forerunner of Christ"! a familiar, soulful voice is heard again. - “Always immersed in bodily pleasures, guide my mind and tame the waves of my passions, so that in the divine silence I will glorify Thee!” Oh, this is “I sing praises to Thee!” - writes Shcheglov, from which we take the last lines - if I were able to convey how it was pronounced, I am sure that more than one heart in the church trembled from this fiery exclamation. Not a single word is read without meaning and sense. More important words from Fr. John pronounces, even addressing the people, so that people can more deeply comprehend what they are reading. He himself is entirely focused on what he is reading. Nothing will distract his thoughts at this time. He seems to experience everything he reads. Experiences victories over sin and evil committed by holy people, experiences human weaknesses and falls, experiences times of God's favor and mercy towards people who have fallen and lost. Much of what you read, apparently, is somehow felt, relates directly to oneself. What is happening in his soul at this time can be judged even by his appearance. Soul o. John is so imbued with the thoughts contained in the sacred chants he reads that he cannot resist making a wide variety of gestures. While reading, he constantly seems to be worried and seems restless. It is as if a blissful smile will shine on his face when he reads about the heavenly glory of God, the Mother of God and St. God's saints; then a deep prayer is heard from his lips when he reads about weakness, sin and human falls; then you hear, as it were, righteous anger when the words “Satan” and “devil” are found in the canon; that tenderness, deep delight when he reads about the great feats, victories over sin that the saints accomplished. martyrs, ascetics. According to the sixth canto and the litany of Fr. John exclaims: “kontakion,” and reads it loudly, like a victory song of Christians over our defeated ancient enemy. Having finished reading the canon, he quickly enters the altar and falls in deep prayer before the throne. Having strengthened himself with prayer, he again goes to the choir and reads here “verses on praise.” “I will never forget,” writes the author of “Two Days in Kronstadt”: they began to sing stichera in “verse”. Father John at this time was almost dressed to serve the liturgy. The only thing he was missing was his robe. Quickly, swiftly, he ran out rather than out of the altar onto the choir, joined the singers and began to sing with them. He sang with enthusiasm, deep faith in every word, regenting himself, again emphasizing individual words and slowing down the tempo where it was necessary according to the logical meaning and content of the chant. The singers instinctively guessed these words, this tempo and beat, and echoed it with considerable skill and animation. The singing, not entirely harmonious at first, quickly became harmonious, strong, sonorous, powerful, inspiring, flowing throughout the entire church, filling the entire soul of the worshiper. It was touching to watch the singers at this time. It was as if one holy early Christian family sang with its father at its head, sang its victorious, sacred, great hymns.” Matins is over. They began to ring for the liturgy. It is known that the first part of the liturgy, proskomedia, is treated with very little attention even by clergy who are not involved in the celebration itself. You should be at the proskomedia performed by Fr. John in order to understand the enormous importance of this part of the liturgy, the need for attention to it at least on the part of the concelebrating clergy. Father John approaches the altar. He is full of solemn joy. Already at this time he was overcome by some kind of jubilant prophetic ecstasy. He takes out the Lamb. Look at how lovingly he levels Him, trims Him on all sides and reverently places Him on the paten. Then Fr. John begins to take out the particles. At the proskomedia there are so many prosphoras that they were brought here in whole large baskets. Fr. himself John can only take out a few prosphoras from each basket and read only a few commemorations and notes from the mass of them presented to the altar for commemoration by pilgrims who gathered in the church from the most remote corners of Russia. And how else to do it? Prosphora is sometimes served up to five thousand, and three and a half thousand is quite common. During the proskomedia, many people personally approach Fr. John and ask him to remember his relatives, to take out at least one prosphora, so that he does not have a single free minute. Co-workers with Fr. John (and there are always many of them on holidays - priests, archpriests, hieromonks) - as we said, during the proskomedia they are mostly inattentive. O. John sometimes, with his prayerful excitement, is able to gather them around St. altar. “Look, look,” he suddenly exclaims amid the proskomedia, “oh. Nikolai, look, oh. Pavel, where is there something like ours? Look. Here He is, Christ. Here He is. Here among us and we are near Him, around Him, like the apostles.” One becomes reverently afraid of the inspired exclamation. You can feel the angels flying with their wings, the priests are gathering around Fr. John and do not leave him until the end of the proskomedia. “Lord, remember Your servants,” reads Fr. John, and names the names of the living and the dead, often with their full name and patronymic. But now the proskomedia is over. In a miter, with a shining cross on his chest, with a face bright from internal prayerful excitement, Fr. John stands at the head of the council of clergy. “Pray, fellow brethren, that the Lord will grant us to perform the world-saving liturgy in a godly manner,” begins Fr. John. The Liturgy has begun, Fr. John is even more transformed. Have you ever observed a religiously minded young priest, when he, freshly illuminated by grace, stands with a lamb handed to him for safekeeping? He burns with a holy feeling. The fear of heavy responsibility fights in him with a feeling of spiritual joy, reverent delight, with a feeling of happiness to delve into a mystery that the angels could not see with their own eyes. Such a priest, if you have seen him, will be a pale imitation of the officiating Kronstadt shepherd. The writer of these lines had the good fortune to serve the liturgy with Fr. John and watch him during his ministry until he could remain only an observer. The royal gates are open. The first exclamation was made. Father John unexpectedly, impulsively takes the altar cross and lovingly kisses it, hugs it with his hands, looks enthusiastically, his lips whisper words of prayer. Then he kisses it three or four times in a row and puts it to his forehead. The lips are whispering something again. Exclamations about. John pronounces the same as he reads the canon at Matins. In the voice one can hear firm faith, hope, and tenderness. The gaze is turned to a mountainous place. Sometimes he utters an exclamation, closing his eyes and going deep into himself. How concentrated and self-collected during the service Fr. John, it’s hard to even convey. All the time he is immersed in such depths of the soul that it is as if he sees nothing, hears nothing, notices nothing that is happening around him. He is in his own special world. At this time he is alone and not like the other. Missal Fr. John hardly reveals it, since he knows all the prayers by heart. He often reads in a low voice. The first part of the liturgy by Fr. John is primarily, so to speak, a prayer part. At this time, he is most aware of himself as a prayer book “for the people.” He constantly remembers that all these people, these captives in the power of sin and vanity - these sick both physically and spiritually - are waiting for his intercession, hoping, praying, through him they are waiting for great and rich mercies. Father John is completely overwhelmed by the consciousness of his enormous responsibility to these weak people who have entrusted themselves to him, the good of their soul and body, and he seems to be in a hurry to pray for them; He prays impulsively, persistently, does not ask, but demands from God the fulfillment of the requests of these unfortunates, with the authority of a priest appointed by Christ, he grabs the hem of the Lord’s robe, demanding mercy for the souls entrusted to him by the Lord. The prayer is extraordinary, invincible, exciting. From the Great Entrance the second moment of the liturgy begins. Father John takes the holy cup and carries it away, adding from himself: “And he brought Him out of the vineyard and killed Him there.” With this thoughtful insertion by Fr. John introduces himself, as he says, “into the sacred memories of the last days of Christ the Lord.” Throughout the second part, until the transubstantiation of the gifts, he devotes himself to experiencing the holy pictures of the Gospel past. From that time on, mainly after “I Believe,” he was in Gethsemane, in the Upper Room of Zion, near Golgotha. In this part of the liturgy, Fr. John inserts a lot from himself, sometimes secretly, sometimes out loud. All these prayers were collected by himself in his book: “My Life in Christ.” Upon placing the Holy Gifts on the throne, Fr. John reads the usual prayer, adding to the church words about the sending down of grace on people the following deeply meaningful words: “in all nurseries of youth and adolescence, spiritual and worldly, male and female, city and rural, and in all non-student youth - in all nurseries of spiritual, monastic - male and female - in your poor people, widows, orphans and the poor, - those who suffered from fire, floods, storms and cowardice, - from shortages of bread and famine, - on all those who commanded me, unworthy, to pray for them, and on all Your people.” Kissing the concelebrating clergy on both shoulders after shouting “let us love one another,” he said: – Christ is alive and active among us. These words make a huge impression. “I, says one witness, stood amazed by these words and involuntarily thought. Yes, here among us, and not there, somewhere in the distance, is Christ the Savior, not dead, not as some abstract doctrine, not just as a historical famous person, but alive, “alive and active.” He is among us. And even “acting”. It became eerie, and my soul was involuntarily filled with great trepidation. I was ready to fall before the throne." “I took with me, we read in another diary, forever the impression of these words, like some kind of treasure, and I think that this “Christ in the midst” made many stir up with a holy feeling. After reading the Creed, Fr. John adds the following prayer, “Confirm in this faith and with this faith my heart and the heart of all Orthodox Christians; sowing faith and this aspiration to live worthily with reason; unite in this faith all the great Christian societies that have sadly fallen away from the unity of St. To the Orthodox Catholic and Apostolic Church, which is Thy body and whose Head art Thou and the Savior of the body, overthrow the pride and opposition of their teachers and those who follow them, grant them with their hearts to understand the truth and salvific nature of Thy Church and to unite with it without laziness; gather together Your holy Church and those who suffer from ignorance, delusion and the stubbornness of schism, breaking through the power of the grace of Your Spirit their stubbornness and opposition to Your truth, so that the fierce ones do not perish in their opposition, like Korah, Dathan and Abiron, who opposed Moses and Aaron, Your servants. Draw all the tongues inhabiting the earth to this faith, so that with one heart and one mouth all the nations glorify You, the only God and benefactor of all; in this faith unite us all with the spirit of meekness, humility, kindness, simplicity, dispassion, patience and long-suffering, mercy, condolences and rejoicing.” But now the most sacred moments of the liturgy are approaching and Fr. John is new again! “Woe are our hearts,” exclaims Fr. John and then adds on his own: Lord Himself, lift up our bowed hearts! “We thank the Lord,” Fr. exclaims again. John. He pronounces the first two words of the prayer: “It is worthwhile and righteous to worship” loudly, and the last ones more quietly, falling completely silent at the end. When reading the prayer secretly, after the words: “You brought us from non-existence into being,” he adds to strengthen the grateful feeling: into rational existence and immortality in the soul, that is, you brought us; after the words “thou hast raised us again who have fallen,” he adds: and a hundredfold every day thou raisest those who sin and repent. After the words: “until now you have raised us to heaven, and you have bestowed the kingdom of the future,” he adds: “In our very communion of Your life-giving Mysteries, You are already raising us to heaven: for where You are, there is heaven and the heaven of heaven, and having given Yourself to the faithful, You already grant with You the kingdom of heaven - the kingdom of the future in pledge of Your most pure Body and Blood.” When reading the prayer “with these blessed powers” ​​with the words: “I have given myself over to the worldly belly,” the “father” adds on his own, to deepen the feelings of gratitude and tenderness, the words: “more than all for me, a sinner, may I be freed from deadly sin and may I live forever.” O. John gives himself up to memories. He sees Christ God in the Upper Room of Zion, surrounded by his apostles. Beloved John on his chest. He, bright and sorrowful, divides the bread and lifts the cup. O. John is in a hurry; his voice hurries to joyfully proclaim the words of promise to the people: “Here you need to shout, he says loudly to everyone, how can you hide such words?” And he turns to the people and says loudly: “Take, eat this is my Body, drink from it, everyone,” exclaims Fr. John. While pronouncing these words, he repeatedly touches the cup with his finger, as if even hitting it with force. The words “for you and for many are poured out” are emphasized again. In Fr.'s own words. John, a sacred thrill runs through all your limbs, throughout your entire being, when you listen to these words with your heart’s ear. And this awe is reflected in his voice, in the strength with which he pronounces this “for you.” “That’s what you can hear in the priest’s voice at these moments: blood was shed for us, for you, for those very ones who are standing here at this moment, and not just for those who stood at the cross. It is shed not for some abstract humanity, but for living people, for every poor, wretched, rich, noble, man and woman. Your chest is barely covered with sackcloth, and blood has been shed for you. You have forgotten and rejected God, and this most holy blood was shed for you. Christ suffered for your sins that stand here”? (Two days in Kronstadt). - And you, what do you pay him? Before pronouncing the words of establishment, Fr. To heighten the feeling of gratitude and amazement, John utters the words of a church song: “O Divine One, O Thy kind and sweetest voice!” And what does he feel at these moments? “Here is an abyss of love,” he says, the love of the Divine for the human race. There is something to think about for everyone impartially delving into the destinies of God regarding the human race.” Yours from Yours,” proclaims Fr. John, placing special emphasis on the word about everyone, pronouncing it more drawn out than others. His soul feels how the people gathered in large numbers in this church need heavenly help, and he fervently prays for everyone. “When I pronounce the words: Thine from Thine,” he writes, “then I imagine the solemnity and greatness of this moment, when a bishop or priest, standing face to face with the eternal, perfect, unchangeable truth of the Heavenly Father, who punishes sin, offers on behalf of all and for all the one immeasurable, all-righteous, propitiatory sacrifice of Christ the Son of God, the only one capable of bending to the mercy of God the Father, redeeming the whole world from the righteous curse and to seek forgiveness of sins and blessings for all believers, and for those who have fallen asleep in the faith and hope of resurrection and eternal life - forgiveness of sins and peace with the saints - the Sacrifice by which all the saints who have pleased God from the ages were justified, and in thanksgiving for whom it is also offered.” Here he is holding the holy paten in his hands and, touching its edges with his lips, he prays. You can feel the breath of the Holy Spirit, you can feel that Fr. John hears the approach of grace and waits for it, and calls. This is the third greatest moment of Fr.'s liturgy. John, there is triumph and victory here. Father John conceivably sees the Lord on Golgotha, but in the glory of the resurrected victor. He dies for us, for our Sunday, and the weapon passes into the soul; gives rise to sorrow for the sins of mankind, which brought the Lord to the cross, and joy about his sacrifice. At these moments the shepherd himself ascends to Golgotha ​​for the Lord and sorrow turns into the joy of the Resurrection. The struggle of tears and joyful delight, the gradual victory of solemn joy over sorrow is the greatest and most terrible thing that makes the service of Fr. John the Extraordinary. Father John begins the prayer of transubstantiation: “Lord, who sent down Thy Most Holy Spirit to the Apostles at the third hour, do not take that Good One away from us.” The first time he pronounces these words solemnly and victoriously, but more or less calmly. This is still only a deeply religious priest. The second time the voice rises and trembles. It intensifies the connotation of authority and joy. We hear that he already knows everything, is confident that a miracle is about to happen, hears the approaching light of the non-evening light and joyfully peers forward, ready to say “Hosanna,” the Lord is coming, welcome us. Reads Fr. for the third time. John: “Lord, like Your Most Holy Spirit...” His eyes, wide open, seem to see the Lord Himself coming to be sacrificed and given as food to the faithful. He does not see Christ and angels in visual images (at least, we do not know this), but he feels the presence of Christ with his whole being more tangibly, more clearly than can be seen with the eyes. “He is here, here,” his lips seem to whisper. And this “here” is clearly visible in his eyes. Everyone present is filled with awe. Look around you, the priests who serve together are pale and excited; they witnessed a miracle... Here Fr. John of the Body and Blood of Christ. His face changed. There is no longer on him a trace of that fatigue and any kind of sorrow or sadness that could be seen when he just entered the church this morning. Extraordinary spiritual joy, extraordinary peace and heavenly calm, extraordinary strength and power were now displayed in every feature of his face. His face seemed to glow, as if emitting some kind of radiance. Father John was ready to work again without any fatigue from morning until late at night; he now stocked up on strength for all the daily labors and worries ahead of him. Persons standing close to him told me that such a change happens to him every time he begins the Holy Mysteries. He himself told us that he only draws strength from the Holy Mysteries to carry out labor that undoubtedly exceeds all human strength. And with this same daily communion he explained the people’s love for him. We have described, as best we could, why such service from the very first years turned the hearts of many to God and His servant. Between the documents that admirers of Fr. John, one narrates the following. “I was in Kronstadt on business in 1895. I have experienced a lot; I lost faith and became embittered. It never occurred to me to seek reconciliation either in church or in prayer. I went to the Kronstadt Cathedral simply because I had nothing to do. They let me go ahead, fortunately there were not many people. From the very first words, I was captivated by the living faith in the shepherd... “Christ is in our midst,” he exclaimed, and I felt that Christ had come, that I needed him, his closeness was not enough for salvation in this hustle and bustle of life. “Proceed with the fear of God”... “With fear”... Yes, it became scary, but we need to begin... It is necessary. There is life... I moved towards the cup almost instinctively, but I remembered that I needed to “fast”, prepare, that I had not approached the cup for decades. I stepped back and cried. I was accompanied by a loving father. After mass, he himself came up with the question: “You are unhappy, you are in pain”... And two days later I left as a believer, happy, sanctified by the Holy Mysteries. “Go there,” the letter’s author added. There everyone will believe “and be reborn.” Laying the foundation of the house of industriousness in Kronstadt. Opening of the house of hard work on the Obvodny Canal. But we digress. Let's return to the service. The service goes quite quickly if there is no general confession. If it is, then the service is delayed. We have not seen the general confession and will describe it from other people's words. Father John came out of the altar to the pulpit in a humble form without a miter and began to speak a lesson before confession. He began it without our usual words “in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” – Sinners and sinners like me! You came to this church to bring repentance for your sins to the Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior, and then begin the Holy Mysteries, - this is how Fr. John! Have you prepared to receive such a great Sacrament? Do you know that I bear a great answer before the throne of the Most High if you approach without preparing. Know that you are not repenting to me, but to the Lord Himself, Who is invisibly present here, whose Body and Blood are currently on the throne. Having said a few more heartfelt words, Fr. John continued: - Listen... I will read prayers of repentance. And he immediately began to read them, turning his face to the people. “God our Savior,” Fr. reads enthusiastically, loudly and touchingly. John, forgive these servants." He reads the words “yours” in a drawn-out manner, breaking them down into syllables. At the same time, with his open right hand he passes over the heads of those standing and praying below, as if separately pointing each one to the merciful Judge. Then everyone’s heart involuntarily trembled. Everyone felt that it was he, and not anyone else, who now had to give an account to God for the time he had lived, for all his deeds. Now he cannot hide behind others from this Judge. The prayer continues. The shepherd's voice rises and rises. Sometimes, during reading, he even more expressively, like a prophet of a formidable and righteous Judge, points his finger to the crowd, to one side or another of the church... All these and similar gestures are very touching, extremely clarify the meaning of what is being read and make a strong impression on the masses. Having read the first prayer of repentance, Fr. John declares that it needs to be “interpreted” and continues his teaching. He speaks, of course, without a notebook. Speak simply, without any oratorical techniques. In one place he could not manage to construct a sentence correctly. The preacher paused for a few moments and then, declaring that he “said it wrong,” calmly continued his speech. His word was distinguished by inner strength and authority (1 Cor. 2:4; 4:20) and did not at all resemble a boy reading a well-memorized lesson. He spoke with deep faith in every word, ready to even suffer for every word, because he spoke everything from the heart, he said what he himself knew well from his personal experience. These are almost literally the words of Fr. John (of course, his speech constantly diversifies, but only in particulars). “The king and prophet David was a man after God’s heart, but he did not take care of himself and had the misfortune of falling into the grave sin of murder and adultery. Walking one day on the terrace of his palace, David saw a beautiful Jewish woman bathing, was captivated by her beauty, was inflamed with passion for her and wanted to make her his wife. But this Jewish woman was married and, in order to fulfill his sinful desire, David sent her husband to war and ordered him to be placed in a dangerous place, where he was struck down by enemy arrows. Thus, David achieved his criminal goal and, intoxicated with sinful passion, did not want to think about what a grave sin he had committed before God. But the Lord God had mercy on the lost sinner and sent the prophet Nathan, who convicted the king of lawlessness and convinced him to repent. Then the king realized his grave sin, was horrified by it and, sprinkling ashes on his head as a sign of humility, began to cry bitterly and sincerely, fervently repent before the Lord. And the Lord heard his sorrowful prayer and forgave his sin. King David expressed his heartfelt contrition for his sins in psalms, spiritual songs in which he thanks and glorifies the Lord. He left behind a book - the Psalter, and the 50th psalm placed in it, “God have mercy on me!” represents a wonderful and irreplaceable example of heartfelt repentance. Brothers and sisters! King David was a pious, wise, meek man and had the Spirit of God in him, and yet he sinned, falling into error. Oh, how easy it is for a person to fall into sin! You need to watch yourself every day and hour, every minute and anticipate in advance the sinful desires of your feelings, and protect yourself from temptations, for the devil, like a roaring lion, runs after us and looks for someone to devour. To do this, you need to think about and weigh your every step and every action.” The following is an example of the king of Judah, Manasseh, and Fr. John says the following words about him: “King Manasseh fell away from God and became an idolater, practiced sorcery and taught his children the same iniquities. Proud and ungrateful, he hated those who loved God and brought obvious lawless people closer to themselves. But the Lord also sought his perishing soul and called it to repentance. During the war between the Jews and the Assyrians, Manasseh was taken captive and in a shameful form, like a wild beast with a copper ring threaded through his nostrils, was taken to Babylon and here thrown into a stinking prison. And so, being in heavy captivity, he came to his senses, realized his iniquities before the Lord and began to sincerely repent, cry and pray day and night about his errors. And the merciful Lord heard his prayers and granted him forgiveness of his sins. In the persons of these two kings David and Manasseh, who sinned grievously and were forgiven by the mercy of God, we have clear examples of sincere and deeply heartfelt repentance. The Lord is the Terrible and impartial Judge of the entire universe and the peoples living in it. He does not look at anyone’s face: be it a man or a woman, a boy or a young woman, a king or a simple person, a rich man or a poor man - everyone is equal before His face, and He equally judges everyone according to His heavenly truth. The Lord will exact more from high-ranking and educated people than from common people, but they will also be condemned if they sin: drink, steal, commit adultery. The interpretation of the first prayer ends. “Listen, brothers and sisters, to the second prayer to Jesus Christ, the Son of God, louder than before,” Fr. John. Then the second prayer of repentance is read. After reading a prayer from the book, Fr. John interprets it the same way as the first. “In this prayer, which I have now said, the Holy Church prays to our Lord Jesus Christ, the Chief Shepherd, that He, the most merciful, will forgive our sins and deliver us from the eternal torment prepared for sinners. The Holy Church prays to Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who took upon Himself the sins of the whole world, accepted death on the cross for the sins of people and with His most pure blood washed away the impurity of our souls, begs Him to have mercy on us, as two debtors of the Gospel who could not pay a large debt to the creditors, like the harlot who washed the feet of Christ with her tears and wiped them with her hair. The Lord saw her sincere repentance and desire to renounce her sins, make amends for them and, having granted her forgiveness, let her go in peace. In the same way, all those who repent sincerely and consciously will receive forgiveness from the Lord and will be freed from eternal torment! “Your greatness is unparalleled and Your mercy is immeasurable!” Fr. exclaimed loudly. John, having finished his sermon and turning his clear and pure gaze to the image of the Savior, heartfeltly and fervently begged Him to have mercy on these sinners and sinners standing before His face, thirsting for forgiveness and release from the bonds of sin, invisibly but powerfully binding the inner world of man. What impression does general confession make has been said more than once. We consider it best to quote one woman’s words about this, not bright in the sense of artistry, but certainly sincere. “Oh my God, my God! How she rejoiced, she writes, how the repentant soul trembled at the sight of the good shepherd, who at these moments took upon himself the difficult duty of a reconciliator and petitioner for God’s goodness towards us sinners! How touchingly he asked the Lord for forgiveness of our sins, citing as justification our lives in an adulterous and sinful world, who are constantly deceived by the devil and, out of spiritual weakness, fall into sins and vices! With what trepidation the people listened to the inspired prayers of their wise mentor and how fervently they prayed with him! Some kind of unearthly force then rose in the purifying soul of every person. It was a wonderful, wondrous, supernatural power of goodness, truth and faith, elevating us above our own vices, and this wonderful power lived and grew in our souls. Pouring in my heart the wise words of my mentor, I ardently longed to be lifted up in spirit, to be cleansed of the filth of sins and to be carried away with pure thoughts there, to the mountainous, blue, wondrous heights of heaven to the radiant Throne of God and there, throwing myself into the dust, to beg the Lord for the forgiveness of sins so passionately desired by my soul. Holy moments of moral enlightenment! Wonderful moments of spiritual communication with the svesar Image of Being in heaven! Literally everyone wept without the slightest exception, and along with these cries and groans, human souls were marvelously purified, just as a piece of gold is purified in the crucible of fire.” “Involuntarily, my attention was drawn to themselves,” writes another woman, by two gentlemen standing behind bars in front of me: one gray-haired, the other young, both elegantly and smartly dressed; first old o. John listened with a condescending look, and the young man simply smiled, but as Fr. John's speech, their facial expressions became serious and concentrated; it ended with both of them not getting up, but straight falling to their knees and crying bitterly, covering their faces with their hands... And he, the inspirer and leader of this heartfelt impulse, which instantly raised thousands of souls to feats of sincere repentance, what was he doing at that time? He stood on the pulpit in front of the image of the Savior and fervently prayed, asking the Lord for merciful forgiveness for the entire mass of loudly repentant and weeping people. He looked at us with his deep gaze and suddenly... large tears rolled down Fr.'s face like hail. Joanna... He cried for us!.. He washed away the filth of our sins with his pure tears!.. Where else is there the best proof of holy, Gospel love for one’s neighbor?.. Isn’t this deep, all-encompassing love, grieving, suffering and purely heartfelt tears washing away the sins of one’s neighbor? St. Andrew's Cathedral during the Liturgy celebrated by Fr. John. Yes, oh. John wept, combining his tears with our tears, and, like a truly good shepherd of the flock of Christ, his soul grieved for his sheep! And at that moment the excitement of the sobbing people reached its highest degree! The huge cathedral was filled with groans, screams and sobs; It seemed that the whole church was shaking from the stunning cries of the people! Amazing picture! A majestic and at the same time touching spectacle, clearly proving how strong is faith in God, and how great is the spirit of the Russian people, raised to the good feat of repentance by the inspired instructions of a wise shepherd! But among the screams the voice of Fr. John asking the people to quiet down. Obedient to his voice, we fell silent and looked at his face with joyful hope.” “Have you repented? Do you want to improve? he asked loudly to the trembling crowd. “Repent, father! We wish you to improve! Pray for us,” the crowd unanimously and sincerely responded and humbly bowed their heads, expecting forgiveness and remission of sins through their spiritual father, who has the power from the Lord to bind and solve human sins. Following this, Fr. John placed the stole and his authoritative, consecrated hand on the humbly bowed crowd as a sign that repentant sinners, by the grace of God, were forgiven and absolved from their sins. The joyful people, freed from a heavy burden, breathed freely and looked with tears of joy at the good shepherd, shining with spiritual triumph, who managed to stir up the souls of the repentant with saving shame and wash the polluted souls with his tears. Then followed the removal of the Most Pure Life-Giving Mysteries of Christ, and after everyone loudly read the prayer “I believe, Lord, and I confess,” the reverent communion of the Body and Blood of Christ began, graciously entering into human souls purified and reconciled with God. The communion of the large crowd lasted for more than two hours and was finally over. After the prayer of thanks, Fr. John came out to the pulpit with a cross and with a joyful exclamation congratulated everyone on the gracious acceptance of the Body and Blood of Christ, which forever and ever serves as the sanctification and purification of our souls. It's all over. Father is leaving back. So he came out of the side doors and headed towards the porch. “What happened here,” writes one observer, I resolutely refuse to reproduce with sufficient clarity! As soon as he appeared, the entire crowd, in an uncontrollable wave, crowding and crushing each other, rushed towards him, and those standing behind the treasured bars instantly found themselves on the very pulpit and almost knocked him off his feet. With the assistance of the psalm-reader and two watchmen, Father John quickly moved to the left aisle and took a step forward to pass from this side. It was not to be... In an instant, the same crowd, as if pushed by some elemental force, quickly darted to the left and, stretching its arms forward, interrupting each other, shouting and crying, persistently crowded around the church grille, blocking the path of its good shepherd. What they were shouting about, what they were begging for, it was impossible to make out anything, because all these pleas and cries merged into one unclear, deafening and confused cry. Father John, squeezed into a corner, stood obediently pressed against the wall, and his tired face showed either painful melancholy or endless bitterness at the sight of this pitifully helpless crowd frantically restless at his feet. It seemed that what could have been easier for every other shepherd was to leave the altar and walk fifty steps to the porch; but for Father John such a journey was long, difficult and even unsafe. Anticipating all this, two policemen, the watchmen who were available, and several people from eminent merchants took a very quick and original measure, namely, they stood on both sides of the intended path and, stretching a thick rope along the entire line, formed something like a living trellis, which looked very stable and impressive. But as soon as Father John moved forward, this entire impressive trellis turned out to be a childish and ridiculous invention: the rope burst with a crash, the merchants and policemen were instantly thrown to the opposite end of the church, and the crowd, mingling and knocking each other down, surrounded Father John with a dense, impenetrable wall. Now Father John suddenly seemed to disappear, and for some time he was not visible at all. Then suddenly this whole agitating and screaming wall swayed to the side, and I saw Father John, deathly pale, concentrated and sad, slowly, step by step, as if in a merciless vice, moving forward, with visible difficulty freeing his hand for the blessing. And the closer he moved to the exit, the more persistent, merciless and loud the crowd became... This sight simply took my breath away and I involuntarily half-closed my eyes. When I opened them, Father John was no longer in the church, and the church itself was now completely deserted. Now in the corner in front of the "magpie" some God-fearing old woman was praying on her knees, and the old watchman was gloomily sweeping the floor, on which were scattered pieces of rope, ladies' thread gloves, a piece of a knitted scarf and other traces of a recent hurricane. My eyes met the sympathetic gaze of the old man. - Lord, what is this? Is it really always like this with you? The watchman sighed sadly. - Oh, dear master, if only it were always like this. And then, the other day, near the Dormition, people found it, because they knocked the “father” off his feet. - That is, how was it “knocked down”? - And so, they dropped it completely to the ground and walked over it like an ant. “It is known that the lamb of God stood up, crossed himself and even said a word.” Finally, oh, John is home. They hand him the mail. How varied and touching is the content of this enormous correspondence. From all over Russia, from France, Sweden, England, America. “I’ve had a sore throat for two years, food won’t go away, I live on milk and water, the doctors refused to use it, they recommend surgery. Bless me, I ask you to serve a prayer service, for I have seven children.” “Great grief has befallen us poor people; the last piece of bread is being taken away. I ask you with tears in your eyes to pray to God for us, for a change in this misfortune.” “My husband has been without a position for ten years, I have four children. I’m suffering... Pray to find a position.” “Pray for the recovery of the little one’s only dying son.” “Pray, the sick woman had one son, all her hope was in him alone; my breadwinner has now drowned. I’m suffering, poverty, help.” And here is another telegram, perhaps the most interesting, from the city of Baku. “Pray for the health of a Muslim.” And here is another interesting message to Fr. John. “Good father, oh. John! I ask for your blessings for a legal marriage. With Ekaterina or Praskovya? I'm waiting for an answer." Most of the letters contain requests to either pray for internal correction, to increase faith in people, or for material help to bring people out of extreme need, or to facilitate the implementation of some enterprise. They ask others to give advice or bless them for some new step in life. Others ask to answer questions of a religious nature. Some express a feeling of gratitude for the help given to them and feelings of deep reverence for him. Many sick physically and mentally, sick from birth, or from intense labor, or from some accident, seeing that earthly doctors cannot help them, also turn to Fr. To John, telling him about their misfortune, with living faith in God, they ask him to pray for them to the heavenly Physician, for whom the impossible is possible. The patients themselves ask, several people ask for the same person, they ask, apparently, without even his knowledge or consent. Believing in the effectiveness of the prayer of Fr. John, some people send him their photographic cards, hair clippings, asking him to bless them. They believe that the blessing will then extend to themselves. Some deliberately do not indicate their address and do not want an answer, firmly hoping that Fr. John is enough for the Lord to heal them. Others ask Fr. John to send them blessed water and medicine. Touching are the children’s requests addressed to Fr. John. One Swedish boy asked Fr. John to pray for the healing of his sick mother, who is dearer to him than anything in the world. Another nine-year-old boy, also from Sweden, writes: “I heard through the newspapers that you know how to heal the sick with prayer, and therefore I ask you to help my mother, because she is sick. We are very bored at home alone, my mother was taken to the hospital, she is going crazy.” Many patients, asking for prayers about. John, confess all their sins to him, no matter how serious they are. Especially often in letters they complain about a lack of faith and indifference to religion. Finding this the cause of their illness, they ask him to pray at the same time for their correction. People who are physically healthy, but suffering from some kind of grief or poverty, ask to pray for Fr. John that if the Lord is not pleased to ease their lot, then he would send them the strength to bear their cross without complaint. Many people ask that they earn eternal bliss through their pious lives. There is a request from one woman to soften the hearts of two people who poison the lives of loved ones with their character. There are a lot of requests to pray for places. One poor mother asks to pray that her son will pass the exam on which their entire future depends. Many poor brides and grooms ask to contribute to their happiness with prayers and financial assistance. Hearing from everywhere about the generosity of Fr. John, many poor people beg him to bring them out of extreme poverty, or to give them the opportunity to open some kind of trading establishment, or the opportunity to receive treatment, or simply to get dressed to go look for a place for themselves. They often ask him for icons and cards as a substitute for personal blessings. Some letters amaze with the energy of faith. Here is a letter from a French woman. "Father! she writes, will my letter reach you... Maybe when they open it they will see that there is no money on it and throw it in the basket. And I'm so unhappy; I really need your prayers. Father, I can barely live, I have suffered for so long. Without the will of God, without a miracle, I perish in body and soul. The trials were too long: illness, loss of fortune, the need to live with people who were strangers and far from my upbringing. I ask you for moral help. I'm sick. I cannot come to you to kiss the hem of your dress, then I would get well. I'm going to France. If I could be in Kronstadt, you would put your hands on me and I would be healed, freed from dark thoughts. Father, I beg you, give me the opportunity to come to you, I can no longer pray to God to love Him. Father, send me an image, even a small one, I believe you unconditionally, by the power of the Almighty you can do anything. Give me a piece of your supernatural power, deign to have one look, sanctified by the Divine light; in one word, with one gesture, the Divine Teacher consoled, raised, and you are His disciple. I ask for justice, otherwise I cannot believe in the Good God. He is the Judge, not the Father. Hatred towards the Creator, isn’t it terrible in his creation? Father! I ask for your blessing, any object that you touched, one small image? and I believe God will have mercy on me.” “And in Israel I did not find such faith,” Fr. John. Indeed, everyone believes in the power of his prayer. "ABOUT. Ivan – I ask for a miracle – for Heaven’s sake,” writes another French woman, pray for the mother’s recovery. “All our people believe in you,” the German writes and asks for the healing of his boy. “Pray for me,” someone from New Zealand prays briefly, without even giving his name. Father John reads the letters, answers some immediately, takes others for himself so as not to forget about whom and what to pray for... Having rested a little, Fr. John goes to apartments and inns, where hopeless help or consolation awaits him. He first goes around the individual private rooms with the sick and the healthy, then the general ones, where dozens, and sometimes perhaps hundreds, gather. Let's walk with Fr. John to these apartments, contrary to his usual order, first to the large common ones. Since it is interesting to observe such an apartment even before Fr. John, to see who is waiting, we will borrow a good description that has not yet been used in the biographies of Fr. John. “I, says this witness (Russian Pal. No. 6 1902), stayed with Marya Dmitrievna Staritskaya. Father John was not in Kronstadt, and he had to wait. I took advantage of the free time to get to know the “guests” of Fr. John. I accidentally found out that in this apartment (the apartment is divided into 2 halves and consists of 9 rooms) even one of my fellow countrymen, a wealthy Kursk manufacturing merchant I knew, Vasily Petrovich Tikhonov, stayed with his wife and son. I know well that he is one of the Old Believers, and that he is a man of a very cheerful disposition, so his arrival in Kronstadt seemed extremely incomprehensible and mysterious to me. Having learned about my arrival, Maria Stepanovna (wife of Vasily Petrovich) invited me to her room. I came in. Vasily Petrovich, with a haggard dark face, looking half-crazed or heartbroken, with his head bowed on his chest, sits in a chair in the corner. He reluctantly raised his eyes, limply gave me his hand and bowed his head again... I was completely perplexed. It turned out that Vasily Petrovich’s nephew, having been sent by him to Moscow to make purchases of goods, spent the 20 thousand given to him on purchases, so he had to purchase the goods on credit; but not only that, he borrowed 15 thousand from Moscow merchants on Vasily Petrovich’s bills, and lost this money to them in two evenings. To add insult to injury, he caught a severe cold, suffered transient consumption, and died a week after returning home. Vasily Petrovich, thus, unexpectedly became a debtor of 34 thousand. He had to hand over the entire store for debts, and he himself had to go around the world with a beggar’s bag. Lenders began to make themselves known, and Vasily Petrovich fell into despair: “One evening,” Maria Stepanovna tells me, “unusually, my Vasily Petrovich disappeared. An hour passed, two, three... he was gone. We are looking for him in all the rooms - no! Here and there in the yard - not a trace. Agafya the cook says to me: “What is that light in the barn?” We rushed headlong there and opened the doors. A wax candle is burning on the stool, a tied rope with a noose at the bottom is lowered from the crossbar, Vasily Petrovich crosses himself and puts on the noose... My blood has frozen, I want to scream, but I can’t. Thank you for Agafya rushing to Vasily Petrovich, taking the noose from him and leading him away. I’ve come away from such fear that I’ll cry! And he, white as a wall, is silent and, barely moving his legs, wanders after Agafya... From then on, he did not utter a single word. The House of Diligence in Kronstadt, founded by the labors of Fr. John. Sewing workshop founded by Fr. John I looked furtively at Vasily Petrovich to see how he felt hearing such a story about him, but I could not read anything on his frozen face. He was a cold statue of gray granite and, as it seemed to me, he heard nothing. “That same evening, my neighbors advised me to go to Kronstadt, and I made up my mind. I myself don’t know what Father can do for us; I will ask for his prayers. What confuses me is that Vasily Petrovich is an Old Believer. I reassured her somewhat on this score. I was curious to go into the general one. I see three unfamiliar men. One, either a wealthy peasant or a merchant, tall, somewhat bent, dark-skinned Little Russian in complexion, sits for some reason in a vest with the hostess Maria Dmitrievna, near the table on the right, two others: one an intellectual, the other a peasant - sit with the other sisters at the opposite wall. I said hello and sat down to the right. Zakhar Nikolaevich (that is the name of the dark-haired Little Russian) shared the impressions he received before Vespers at the cemetery, at the grave of his mother Fr. John, Blessed John, who was ill for 17 years, and the Olympics... I have always been interested in what requests and needs led and lead to Fr. John has thousands of pilgrims from all over Orthodox Russia, so I tried to start a conversation with a new acquaintance. - From the Voronezh province. “My life has come together like a wedge,” said Zakhar Nikolaevich, smiling, something is driving me out of the world. And seeing that I was interested in his fate, I began to talk about myself: “I used to be a clerk, then a manager on the estate of landowner P.; Finally, I myself became the owner of a small plot of land I rented. In addition, I was engaged in trade at fairs. I have a brother Ignatius, now he is sick with delirium tremens. This brother, a week ago at night, walked around our estate with a lit bunch of wax candles, lit it on four sides, crosswise, sat down not far away on a hillock and admired it. I, my wife, and my adopted daughter Nyurochka barely managed to escape; everything burned to the ground, we were left with what we had on. We were very tanned... What does this mean, Lord? - I think, - this is the third time that all my labor has burned down! We must not be worldly residents, something is driving us out of the world... I thought about myself more than ever before. My whole life passed before me; I felt heavy and ashamed for my previous coldness towards God and everything holy. My soul was burning with the desire to change radically. I longed to hear powerful instructions on the path of spiritual life, so I decided to leave for Kronstadt the next day. In the evening, on the eve of departure, I went to prayer and prayed so fervently and tearfully, as I will hardly ever have to pray again. I calmed down, lay down and fell asleep... “Then I see that it’s already dawn. I took a cart to the station. I'm going with the train. We pass Voronezh, Kozlov, Ryazan, Moscow; finally arrived in St. Petersburg. I had never been to any of these cities before. In Kronstadt, at the direction of a wanderer, I stay in this apartment. For the first time I saw the priest in vespers, but I recognized him, and I felt so glad! I heard him read the canon. After Vespers, I confessed to Fr. Andrew, and the next day I received communion from the hands of the priest himself... I rejoiced and was ready to applaud with joy. Two days after mass, the priest came to us. There was a prayer service here, and there were a lot of people. After the prayer service, along with others, I go up to the priest with my need and ask him to guide me on the path of salvation, and he took me by the left hand, took me to that corner, and gave me instructions for about five minutes. My heart burned like it was on fire. Tears of tenderness rolled down my cheeks. I have never felt so good in my life. The priest ended with the words: “And in the future the Lord Himself will guide and instruct.” So he said and went out, and I immediately woke up from my sleep... I thought, where am I? – I was at home, at a neighbor’s house. On the way to Kronstadt, everything I saw in my dream came true. And the cities that I first saw in a dream turned out to be exactly the same, and the time of arrival in Moscow, St. Petersburg and Kronstadt was exactly the same, and Father Fr. I saw John at vespers, just as in the dream. House of Diligence, Fr. Andrei, his apartment - in a word, everything turned out to be the same as I saw him in my dream at home, and before, except for the portrait of Fr. John, and I never saw anything like that in the picture... – Will the Lord send something tomorrow? - Zakhar Nikolaevich said, sighing after a short pause, “let’s go, Lord, everything is as prescribed!” – Who are these two gentlemen who are sitting with the sisters? – I asked Maria Dmitrievna. - These are my father’s pets. One is Feodor Nikolaevich Polyakov, a well-born landowner of the Don Region, who has one thousand and a half dessiatines of land. Lord, what was he like before and what now! It happened, God forbid, that a man’s horse or even a pig would enter his land; although the cattle won’t eat even a piece of grass in the pasture, give a fine, otherwise they won’t let you out; and he simply shot the peasants’ chickens and geese... And if the peasant happened to be on the road, on his land, and not on a detour, as he ordered, either he would take the horse and hold it as long as he wanted, or he would chop the wheels, and no one would think of resisting. Such a hero - he broke more than one ribs. And now there is no similarity. Meek, generous to the extreme. There is not a poor person in the village whom, in case of need, he would not caress and give gifts - the last one shares... Three years ago there was a shortage of crops in their region: all the poor people got bread from Feodor Nikolaevich to feed them in the spring and for sowing. And when he walks down the street in Kronstadt, you can immediately see him; Behind him is a line of townspeople and all sorts of poor people... And the other is Pavel Danilovich Kulibin, from the same place, the son of a large peasant landowner. His unfortunate father drinks heavily and spends money with whomever he shouldn’t. Pavel Danilovich, a pure and kind man, endured for a long time, but finally decided to leave his father, even if it threatened him with the danger of losing his right to inheritance. I came to my father. Father John gave him spiritual instruction and ordered him to live humbly with his father, and a year later to come here again. Well, he has arrived. The next day came. Father has returned. Waiting. Maria Dmitrievna and the sisters had already prepared vessels with water for the prayer service in the common room and in Vasily Petrovich’s room, lit lamps and candles. Then a sharp bell rang, the doors swung open, and Fr., all concentrated in himself, quickly entered the common prayer room. John. He was wearing a magnificent azure, heavenly-colored cassock, a cross shining with precious stones on his chest, and a monstrance hanging a little to the right on a bright red silk ribbon. A prayer service with the blessing of water began... - Who is sick here? – asked Fr. John turned back after the prayer service. - And here, father, Stefanida! - pointed to a patient with seizures. And Stefanida still seems to be sleeping: she sits with her eyes closed and her head bowed... Father John approached her, put his hand on her shoulder and said: - Raise your head, sister! Stefanida shook her head without raising it. “Raise your head, I tell you,” the priest said more commandingly. - Okay, now look at me. Stefanida opened her eyes. Her gaze was extremely strange, her eyes were cloudy and, what especially surprised me, they were slanted: her right eye looked to the left at a significant acute angle, and her left eye to the right. – U-U-U··· I don’t want, I don’t want, I don’t want... And Stefanida shook her arms and legs. - Stop floundering, look at me straight. - No, no, I don’t want, I don’t want, you’re scary... “The Lord commands,” the priest said with a strong cry, ordering, “look straight!” Stefanida glanced at Fr. John. One could read on her face a strong and at the same time pleasant surprise for her. “Father, how good you are,” her face lit up with a pleasant smile, “and I scolded you on the way!” - Why did you scold me? – the father asked smiling. “I don’t know why, but when they said something about you, I got angry at you and scolded you.” I thought I was a saint, but what they say about you is not true... – But it turned out that you are a sinner, just like me; “We are all sinners,” the priest said and gently bowed her head to his chest. – Do you want to receive Holy Communion? We went into another room and when we entered again, the priest had already given the patient communion. “Be healthy sister, pray to God more often, fight your thoughts,” Father Stefanide said. John addressed the visitors from the Caucasus. - Dear father, I’m not glad that I started them! I ask your prayers for one thing, so that my dad can get rid of his insanity and that I can peacefully deal with my Jewish tenant, so that I won’t sin with him anymore. – But it’s impossible to deport him without trial? “It’s impossible, father, but I have no desire to submit to the Senate.” - You need to give, just don’t rely on princes, on the sons of men, and don’t repay evil for evil, but give place to God’s judgment... The Lord will bless! A visitor from Kaluga, covered in tears, threw himself at the feet of Fr. John. “I’m dead for ever... my soul is lost...” he could barely say through his sobs. - What's happened? Stand up, tell me what's the matter? Constantly sobbing with tears, the pilgrim said that his mother cursed him when he did not give her money for vodka... “She’s already died, and I’m miserable, I can’t find a place for myself... I’m standing here - I’m terrified, I’ll go there - and it’s not good there... I’m doing the job, I don’t know why; It’s hard for me, the whole world is not nice, I speak and then almost forget what I said... I have long since retired from my position; I ask influential acquaintances to give me a place, they promise if it opens. A position opens up, I go to ask again, but the position has either been abolished completely, or the senior boss has given it to his candidate. I got married, my wife lived with me for two years and left; I have a son left in my arms... I don’t know what’s happening to me... Father, dear, help me, otherwise I’m lost: at times I want to lay hands on myself so as not to suffer, but I’m also afraid of ruining my soul forever... And he burst into tears again hysterically... Two tears, clear as crystal, rolled down Fr.'s cheeks. Joanna... The priest listened to him all the time with his eyes closed, apparently praying. “Oh, poor, poor...” he repeated with deep sorrow, then he opened his eyes and began to look intently at the petitioner. “Do you hear,” the priest said firmly and confidently. – I take your oath upon myself. Stop suffering, do you hear! - I hear, dear, and I feel... “I will beg the Father of our Lord, who has lifted the oath for sins from the whole world, to have mercy on me, who took the curse from you... From now on, be peaceful,” and Fr. John laid both hands on his head, and take his wife to you and live together. “Father, I’m afraid for myself, won’t it be hard for her in my need?” - Don’t be faint-hearted... The Lord will strengthen you and give you a position... Raise your son in the fear of God... – Was it difficult to live in humility and obedience to your father? – Fr. asked with a smile. John Pavel Danilovich Kulibin, turning to him. - It’s easy and joyful, father, with your holy prayers, even if it’s like this all your life... – Bear each other’s burdens and through your life serve your neighbors for creation. After this, the priest approached Zakhar Nikolaevich, took him by the left hand, took him to a corner, spoke to him in a low voice for about two minutes, shaking his head. Zakhar Nikolaevich stands with his head bowed, tears of tenderness rolling down his cheeks one after another. “And I already told you about the future, remember,” Fr. said loudly. John quickly left the room. These words struck me like thunder. Zakhar Nikolaevich's dream was literally coming true. From us, the priest went to the other half of the apartment. Maria Stepanovna greeted him with an invitation to her, all in tears. Vasily Petrovich, dark as night, with the imprint of internal suffering on his face, stood in the middle of the room. Father John entered their room... I, wanting to talk with the priest about my business, entered there at the invitation. The prayer service began. Father John knelt down before the shrine, bowed his head on the table and began to pray. Suddenly there was a loud scream followed by a continuous, deep, uncontrollable painful sob. It was Vasily Petrovich’s dark thoughts that burst out. I shuddered. The priest once again fell to the ground, then stood up cheerfully with the words: “Glory to Thee, Christ God, our hope, glory to Thee,” and addressed us with a blessing. - Why, brother, are you crying? asks about. John Vasily Petrovich. - Father, I became poor and, not thinking of recovering, decided to commit suicide, they stopped me; the thought of the shame of begging tormented me, and I invented new and convenient ways to end my life. On the way back from here, I decided to throw myself from the platform down under the carriages, and I would have done so if... And he began to cry again. – Remember, brother, for the rest of your life that the Lord raises up the downtrodden, the Lord brings poverty and wealth... and blessed is the man, he has hope in the Lord his God... How have you forgotten about the long-suffering Job! After all, the Lord tested your faith! Vasily Petrovich gradually subsided in crying and calmed down. Maria Stepanovna was beside herself with joy. A light snack and tea were prepared on the table in Vasily Petrovich’s room. Father John, with a cheerful smiling face, with the dignity of a master, standing, poured tea, generously poured sugar into glasses; then he drank a quarter of a glass of wine, treated others to wine, then ate a small piece of cheesecake and, having blessed everyone, left. It is impossible to describe the delight of the pilgrims after visiting Fr. John. Everyone’s faces became lively and cheerful, and joyful greetings were everywhere.” We have given a fairly detailed description of Mr. Dukhovtsev, because he gives a lot of interesting and new details. For completeness, however, we consider it necessary, together with other “pilgrims,” to look into other shared apartments and private rooms. Let's imagine a large apartment - one of those where pilgrims gather not just in units, but in dozens. Father enters. They surround him from all sides, complain, cry. You need to have a lot of love for your neighbor in your heart in order to listen, understand, and most importantly respond so warmly and sympathetically to all these fragmentary, timid pleas of suffering people, as Fr. listens to them and responds to them. John. What everyday dramas took place here one after another. Here is a poor, poorly dressed woman, with the sadness of need and grief on her weary face, with the pain of shame and fear, approaches the priest and begs him for mercy. Father John immediately gives her the package, adding good advice: “do not despair in sorrow and hope in God.” A caressed, happy woman with hot tears of gratitude kisses the merciful hand of her benefactor and, in a fit of heartfelt tenderness, falls at his feet. Following her, the sick man was brought in, and he was given a benefit in the form of a sympathetic, warm prayer addressed to Fr. John about the health of the sick. In a long line, more and more people came up with various prayers, and no one left inconsolable, no one cried tears of sorrow here, although everyone cried. What little things do they address to Fr. John, but for him there are no trifles of someone else’s soul, everything is important. So one woman turned to the “father” (we read from Shcheglov). - Father, they offend me at home, I have nowhere to lay my head! - Who offends? - says Fr. John. - Go home, make peace. God willing, they won’t offend you anymore. The woman listens to these words with deep faith and goes home completely reassured. Another asks: “My son has disappeared, dear, how can I pray for him, for health or for peace? “Go home,” said Fr. John. - You'll see there. The third asks the priest to bless her daughter, whom she betrothed: “God bless,” said Fr. John. “If only my husband were God-fearing and kind, he would love her and honor you.” Someone asked whether he should go to the monastery. The priest inquired in detail about who he was, whether he had thought before deciding to take such a step, asked him about his family circumstances, then blessed him to go to the nearest monastery. A lot of similar questions were proposed, and all about. John found something to say: he consoled those who were crying, gave advice to the sick, blessed everyone, adding: “God bless you, may you be according to your faith!” “Father,” the landlady lamented loudly, with a low bow, “my nephew, the shoemaker, about whom I reported to you the other day... He drinks without spilling, that is, he is more greedy for vodka than a sheep is for greens.” And until then, he says, I will drink until the priest gives his blessing to take his measurements for his boots... Just as, he says, I will take his measurements, so, he says, all the illness will be taken away from me at once!.. And she pushed her nephew forward. “Well, okay, take it off,” said the priest. The nephew, choking with excitement, began to take measurements. - Father, dear, accept my humble offering! – Some wanderer started wailing. “The Lord has vouchsafed me to go to the holy saints, to give a prosphora for your health in each place... I took this one out from Tikhon of Zadonsk about your health... This one from Tikhon of Kaluga... But these two from Trinity Sergei and in the Kyiv Lavra... Father, accept, Father do not leave!! – she concluded with tears. Father John accepted the plate of prosphora, placed it on the table next to him and smiled with a clear and cheerful smile. - Well, thank you, dear, for your efforts, thank you! – he said affectionately. - Just think, benefactress, why do I need all this? (He nodded half-reproachfully at the huge prosphora.) After all, I am a priest, I eat prosphora every day - where am I going to take them now?! At that moment, a stalwart, red-cheeked guy, who looked like a team worker, emerged from the crowd and, sweating profusely, bent down in front of Fr. John. In his hands he had a heavy bag of money, which he hastened to hand over to the priest. – From Rybinsk... to those affected by crop failure! – he said, barely catching his breath. Apparently he rushed here straight from the post office, without taking a breath, to catch the priest on the spot. - A! - Father John said contentedly in a tone that showed that he knew very well from whom the donation came, and, handing the package to the efficient psalm-reader, he said: “Ivan Pavlovich, accept!” Then Fr. John blessed the artel worker, thought a little and handed him one of the prosphoras that the wanderer to holy places had given him. - And this is for you, God-loving sisters! – he added, taking the other two and handing them to the merchant benefactors. Needless to say, the crowd cramped on the threshold eagerly followed the slightest word and movement of the adored shepherd, and now their impatience increased to the utmost degree. - Father... will you come to us soon? – a pleading female cry burst out from the crowd. Father John stood up, shook his head decisively and walked into another room. The prayer service began. As we have already seen, during these visits Fr. John also heals the sick. This is what one patient says. “Father came to see us on January 15th. Before the general prayer service, I asked him to bless me for the operation, but he didn’t tell me anything. After the prayer service, I again ask him to serve a prayer service in our room and bless me for the operation. He again didn’t say a word to me and didn’t seem to pay any attention to my request. I was so sad, sad... God, how pitiful and unhappy I am! After some time, Fr. came to us. John. He came straight up to me and said: “Tell me, what is your grief, what hurts you?” And in his eyes, and in his words, and in his very voice, there was so much kindness, so much sympathy for me, unfortunate, that I fell on his chest and through tears and sobs began to incoherently tell him that for the fourth year now I had been suffering terribly, my leg hurt, and I decided to have an operation, please bless me... “Why did this happen, don’t you remember the day the illness began?” “I remember well this day, September 13, when I injured my leg at the ball, and only now my conscience convicts me that on such a great holiday of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross, I jumped and raged like crazy.” He started asking me about my life. I revealed my whole sorrowful soul to him, he let me cry all my tears on his chest. “Trust in God’s mercy, pray, just pray sincerely, with full faith. The Lord heals all sorts of mental and physical ailments, do you have such faith?” “I believe that everything is possible with the Lord, but I am not worthy of such mercy from God; pray, father, for me, unfortunate.” “Pray yourself, only with all sincerity. What's your name? - Tatiana. Then, turning to everyone, he said: “Let us all pray together for our sick sister Tatyana in Christ.” After serving the prayer service, he blessed the water, immersed the cross and poured all the water from the cross onto my head, gave me to venerate the cross and said: “May the Lord God and the Queen of Heaven help you.” I felt extraordinary joy, strength, vigor; I ask the priest to bless me with the icon of the Kozelshchanskaya Mother of God. He blessed and said: “Always run to the Lord and the Queen of Heaven for heartfelt prayer.” Having blessed everyone present, he says to me: “Now let’s go and pray again together.” I followed him to another room and listened to a prayer service there. Coming out, the priest again said to me: “Let’s go and pray some more.” I followed him to the third room. After the prayer service, he blessed me and said: “I will come to you to say goodbye.” I returned to my room, we were all joyful, animated, everyone was talking only about how kind the priest was, how affectionate, attentive, how the priest himself came to us, sat with us, caressed us. As he left, he blessed us all, then looked at everyone with a smile and said: “Well, goodbye, sisters, God bless you!” This is in a shared apartment. The secrets of individual rooms are, of course, inaccessible to observation. There the conversation takes place behind closed doors. We have, however, interesting information about these visits due to the fact that some “guests” of Fr. considered it necessary to report for the glory of God. John. “I was waiting for Fr. John in his room,” says the famous I. Shcheglov. The clock showed half past two. I felt my heart: it was beating intensely and joyfully anxiously... if at that moment I had felt at the bottom of it even a drop of lies and disbelief, I would, it seems, without hesitation, open the window and run without looking back. Another ten agonizing minutes passed, which seemed like an eternity to me, and suddenly I heard some dull noise in the corridor, someone’s piercing scream, frantic cries: “Father, save, save!.. Father, bless!”, and the doors to my closet swung open... Father John entered. As I remember now, he entered very quickly, with a young and hasty gait, with a burning, piercing gaze, with a bright blush in his nervously trembling cheeks, with a light brown lock scattered across the back of his head... In his entire figure, in his movements, in the first sound of his voice, one could feel some kind of indescribably wonderful inspiration of a man who had not yet cooled down from a recent prayer impulse, sublimely inflamed by his powerful activity, passionately ready for countless new exploits... Now before me appeared as if a completely new Father John, than the one I had observed just a few hours ago in the Duma church - and in that one elusive, stunning moment I suddenly understood him completely, in all his irresistible greatness, as perhaps I would never have understood him in other, calmer moments... I understood deeply and irrefutably one thing: if this man were now told that at the end of the general prayer service with Mrs. Snegireva, he was condemned by the enemies of the faith to be burned at the stake - he would serve the prayer service as if nothing had happened, and without blinking an eye, he would just as boldly go up to the fire as he just entered my room... I don’t know why, but I’m terribly offended that I don’t remember what color his cassock was on then and what crosses adorned his chest... Yes, I don’t remember any of this, because I was completely consumed by only one thing; how he entered, how he looked, and how an imperious and fatherly-heartfelt voice was heard next to me: - Well, tell me, what do you need? Of course I said what I needed; Of course, Father John read a prayer and had an interview... and, of course, the kind reader will allow me to remain silent about the intimate details of all this. I think it will be quite enough if I say that I was completely depressed and destroyed by the great heart-knowledge of the Kronstadt shepherd!.. Yes, this man, who had just entered and saw me for the first time in his life, after some five minutes spoke to me as if he had lived under the same roof with me for a good ten years... And, in addition, in what voice he spoke! From which the heart of a child opened and softened like wax, and involuntary tears squeezed the throat and prevented it from escaping in words of simmering gratitude. At the end of his short interview, Father John kissed me firmly on the forehead and said: – Thank you for your trust, my dear!.. Thank you for your trust!.. Will I ever forget the incomparable, touching tenderness with which these words were spoken? Oh, never, never!.. This is the subtlest, most indelible impression of my whole life, and it can only die with me!” But all the apartments and rooms have been searched, oh. John leaves. Needless to say, getting Father John to his carriage was almost as difficult as leaving the cathedral. Hastily blessing the people, giving change to the tramps who squeezed through to him, quickly answering the requests and questions that rained down on him from all sides, he finally found himself near the droshky. The young psalm-reader, who accompanied Father John, and apparently accustomed to all sorts of troubles, with a deft movement picked him up and put him in the droshky. In an instant he found himself on the droshky himself and shouted to the coachman: let's go. O. John left. Where? rest? No. Having visited the Kronstadt apartments, Fr. John moves to St. Petersburg, where, of course, he has even less rest and peace. Late at night he goes to the Baltic Station, where again a crowd of people is waiting for him. Pressed from all sides, he barely makes his way into the carriage, not forgetting to give money to those in need. A mass of letters is thrown at the open window; the train starts moving; Father John stands at the window and, encouraged by expressions of gratitude and good wishes, blesses the crowd with a friendly smile, sending the words: - Farewell, brothers, farewell, my dears, farewell, friends! God bless you!.. Before the first, until the second station, he reads letters, and then, right up to Oranienbaum, he usually sleeps. In Oranienbaum there is an ordinary meeting and ordinary scenes. In summer o. John, crossing the Gulf of Finland on a steamship, stands at the stern with his arms crossed on his chest and, asking not to disturb him, says his evening prayers. In winter, sitting in a wagon, he also prays all the way, folding his arms crosswise. Finally it's past midnight. O. John approaches Kronstadt. At the St. Petersburg gate (that’s the name of the entrance to Kronstadt), an “army” is waiting for him any minute, and only Fr. John manages to set foot on the ground when he is surrounded by “sealords” and again distributes alms for the night. If he accidentally finds out that in the city there is an urgent need for the services of some seriously ill person, then, despite the late hour, he calls for the psalm-reader and goes wherever such an urgent need arises. There is no need to hide that sometimes Fr. John gets tired and grumbles for minutes. He, however, considers these minutes to be moments of fall, betrayal of God, and with tears he repents of them both on the pages of his diary and before St. icons of their “prayer room”. After everyone is satisfied, late at night, around one o’clock, he finally gets home, and at four or five o’clock, with morning prayer, he begins a new day, full of work and hardship. Each of us, who has our own corner and home, has a certain hour to refresh ourselves with food. Does what time about. John? – I asked some in Kronstadt. They say he only comes home for breakfast or lunch a few times a year. Where does he have lunch? Everywhere and nowhere, always and, one might say, never. Due to the multitude of visitors, he can never set an hour for visiting and almost never gets to attend any supper. Therefore, he has to patiently be content with little. There he will eat some fruit, here he will drink a glass of tea, here he will eat a piece of bread or a few cookies. It often happens that during the whole day he does not have to eat properly. But he does not seek this, being completely content with the little that God sends him here or there during the day. O. John returns to Kronstadt at night Once said Fr. One St. Petersburg archpriest told John: “You are so tired, father, you don’t give yourself any rest!” To this o. John answered him: “What do I need peace for, my friend! Our peace will be there (he pointed to the sky), if only we earn it here. And can the shepherd be at peace when not all the sheep yet hear his voice, and some do not want to hear it? others groan and beg for help themselves; shouldn’t the shepherd rush to their aid? How many tears, needs, sorrows, infirmities, how many sins our sheep have!.. Should the shepherd rest and sleep when their destruction does not sleep.” Fr sleeps surprisingly little. John. It is not even always the case that 3–4 hours of the dead of night a day belong entirely to Fr. John. Quite often he spends them in a railway carriage, in a carriage, and sometimes he does not sleep at all. What a gigantic work! And this work has to be carried out not over the course of just one day or several days, but over the course of entire months, years, decades. Involuntarily I remembered at these moments our constant complaints about nerves, lack of sleep, malnutrition, and the notorious overwork. If each of us worked as hard as Fr. John, I don’t know what would have happened to us, and what stories we would not have invented in our justification and apology. Maybe some people couldn’t stand the idea of ​​such work and would get sick. They talk a lot about the miracles of Fr. John. I have not seen them with my own eyes, but I fully believe the stories about them. In my deep conviction, this difficult life alone of Fr. Joanna herself is the greatest miracle.” (Two days in Kronstadt). Is Fr. asleep? John?.. Really, I can’t believe it. - Is he sleeping? - I asked this question - says Shcheglov - to Fedosya Minaevna, who lives opposite the house of Fr. John and, as the mistress of the apartment for guests, vigilantly monitors the “day” of the priest. Fedosya Minaevna smiled mysteriously in response to my question. - Well, there’s no way to determine this... It’s just like when you have to. He, you know, has a very special dream, as people say - “a well-fed dream.” Another time he sits with his thoughts on the ship, suddenly throws his head back and falls soundly asleep for half an hour... But what do you think? And here the dear father will not be given peace. – What supports Fr. John? – Of course, the internal burning, the spirit that lives in it. We can say that for almost a whole day Fr. John is in a state of greatest mental excitement, which appears either in the form of prayer without words, then in the form of a sublime mood bordering on prayer, then, finally, in the form of a mental experience of the highest ideals. We can say that the elevated mood that occurs in an ordinary person occasionally, in exceptional moments, in Fr. Joanna is regular and doesn't leave it during the day. Father John appears to be an ordinary person only in moments of extreme fatigue or while eating; at all other times of the day, he is in a state of animation and lives the fullest, broadest ideal life that is possible for a person. (Prof. Sikorsky). And the reason for this excitement itself, of course, is in the grace of God and in the grace of the Holy Eucharist. Here we have partly used the words of others ("New Path" 1903, July) to characterize what we really experienced. Our speech about this will prove that there is no plagiarism here. John 19 Oct. 1902, printed. in "Miss. Review."