Theodore the Fallen written response to our holy father and ecumenical teacher John Chrysostom

Those who are safe in quiet harbors always try to help those in the midst of the sea, as much as they can, in two ways: either, as those who have escaped storms and remember the terrible waves and the troubles that happened to them at sea, they pity those who suffer, or, if they have not yet been carried by a storm on the waves, they seem to internalize those dangers for the reason that they must sail on the same sea and, having experienced the same troubles from the waves, strive in the same way for a haven of peace; they try, by innumerable means, if possible, to save the whole ship; if not, then they take care of keeping alive, at least naked, those who have suffered shipwreck, and hope to receive righteous rewards from God for that. But to me, the unfortunate one, subjected to the most severe shipwreck and overwhelmed - I don’t say: in the middle of the sea, but in the depths of the seabed, and like a fish trying to emerge from the depths to the mountain surface, trying to free itself from the poisonous reptiles located in the depths - no one helps, of course, because they hold such a view regarding us that we can never allow anything of this kind; We now find ourselves in such a position that we can learn from what we endure. So, honest fathers, do not show those feelings towards me, fallen and humiliated, so as not to experience the same yourself, but when you see my wound, be afraid! What else can I say? Don't you have paper, two days' leisure, the labor of one beast of burden? Of course, just as the most experienced of doctors, whenever they touch and look at those who are about to die, they stop giving medical remedies, but with the help of the living they prepare for the one who is soon to depart, relating to his burial and announce to their friends about the death of the patient, although he is still alive, becoming heralds of terrible grief, and not fearing mistakes on the part of their art, but guided by an authoritative opinion, they speak out against sick, - in the same way, your holiness refrained from consoling, stopped exhorting, made sure that the meeting of the brotherhood was scattered, and announced our death to everyone living within these very limits so that it was conveyed even to those who live outside our country. And for God-fearing and beloved brothers from here there is terrible sorrow, and for those who have a different attitude to faith, joy and joy. In general, you say: “the partridge cried and gathered those whom she had not given birth to,” [such is] the one who shows his kindness 1; “in half his days they will leave him... and he will remain a fool at the end” (Jer. 17:11). Therefore, having seen my wound, honest fathers, be afraid, and first of all, try with your holy prayers to beg the Compassionate One, so that His love for mankind will reach even us, as said above, who have fallen to the bottom of the depths of the sea and into the middle of hell; then do not hesitate to help and have a good conversation. I still dare to hope for your love: “brother helps brother” (Proverbs 18:19). I know that you will not annoy me, but rather pray and, seeing my wound, you will be afraid. But do not think that I am demonstrating the experience of my oratorical talents or composing a teaching; no, I swear by your love; accept me as feeling the pain of a great wound and the fear of eternal punishment, and the desire for eternal blessings, which I both heard about and tasted, among which I lived for some time before I was wounded by my enemies. Seeing this, those insidious ones were jealous, laying traps with all kinds of tricks, and erected a victorious trophy. Therefore, each of you, seeing my wound, let him be afraid, and who spends his life among the blessings mentioned above, having terrible and great enemies around him, let him notice around him evil intentions aimed at depriving him of this treasure; and the one who has not yet tasted, but is trying to taste, as if he has many and great enemies hindering him, let him be careful. But let us return to the issue at hand and ask from your love what is useful to us. Under the influence of the pleasure of speech, we gradually became inspired, although we did not harm the runners, or rather, it was better to say that we strengthened them. Your victory over the enemy makes him weaker, and encourages us, taking up arms, to go to exploits again, not running away out of fear of our wound, but under the influence of a cheerful mood excited by your victory, rushing to the lists more courageously. So, again, as I have often asked, and now I have ventured to make a request to your fear of God, that you deign to send your prayers, like an oud, into the depths of the sea and there they attracted mortal fish to themselves and brought them into the net, from which strong and terrible waves cast me to the bottom of the sea - and so that, seeing my wound, they would be afraid. I tried to write this to remind you of your love, although I do not speak worthy of the subject. Oh, if it were possible that I, standing at the tip of the high mountains, would sound a trumpet with my lips and, like thunder, would send my sin throughout the world in a triumphal procession and would not ignore the attraction of the universe to help my success. But this is an impossible task, because I am a person with a weak voice and short-lived. However, carried away by the word, I dare to recall the divine Scriptures and speak in accordance with them. “To the sinner...,” says (Scripture), “God says: why do you preach My statutes?” (Ps.49:16). Now truly I can loudly pronounce that prophetic saying and say: “Who will give my head water and my eyes a source of tears! I would weep for the smitten daughters of my people” (Jer.9:1). If Jeremiah considered people struck in the body in war worthy of countless sobs, then what could anyone else say regarding such a great misfortune of the soul? “My slain 2 were not slain by the sword, nor did they die in battle” (Is. 22:2). He is not talking about dead bodies, but about the sting of true death, that is, he mourns grave sin and the red-hot arrows of the evil one, barbarously burning souls along with bodies. The laws of God groan greatly together with the holy spirits about such great suffering and looking at me. And for me, friends, the end of those sweet words became bitter, and I need to grieve again over what I should have rejoiced over, since, having taken the members of Christ, I made them the members of a harlot. Who would not say, crying: “How did the faithful capital become a harlot?” “The heavens were amazed, and the earth trembled, and was terrified, says the Lord” (Is. 1:21; Jer. 2:12). But please, honest and holy fathers, remember my wonderful confession, which I showed before the face of God and angels and people. Strangers, entering the house, try to arouse great disturbances in order to cause oblivion even of the confession itself; but through the prayers of your love, the Lord of hosts left us the seed of remembrance, for which reason the memory, drowning the heart with sorrow, holds back the word and the falling tear weakens the voice, every time the horrors that happened to me come to my mind, every time it comes to my mind that, having made a confession to Christ, I found myself in subjection to the Antichrist, every time it comes to me that, having begun as spiritual, I became carnal. Woe to me, humiliated and fallen away, woe because of the sadness that I am tormented by, because of shame and unrequited defense! Born to live, I am put to death. Show me compassion, dear fathers and doctors, show compassion, weep for me and mourn for me, struck by the baits of a poisonous viper; mourn for me and mourn for yourselves before the blow is struck; Let your tears be strongholds against that enemy; Give me abundant tears, those who have this gift, so that it invades the heart and blots out the laws written by sin. So! I ask you, cleanse it so that you can inscribe in it the royal laws, the spiritual laws, the heavenly laws. The Lord of hosts left me the seed of faith so that I would not become Sodom completely. Pray with me, merciful and kind-hearted fathers, that I may be saved by repentance along with the Ninevites. Shed tears for me and mourn me, like the prophet Jonah - by becoming heralds for me. He was not a liar, just as you are not liars, but the compassion of the man-loving God saddened one, so as not to destroy many. However, even he was saddened not because of hatred of people, but out of fear that his share of love for mankind would not be turned into slander against the Sender, as if he were a liar. Your love is not like that; but I know that you rejoice every time there is joy in heaven because of the repentance of one sinner, and constantly pray that God’s love for mankind will accept the perishing members, since all members suffer along with them. Finally, I will talk to myself and about what could be said from the side of your love, as if secretly receiving words from some invisible force. Day and night, keeping in mind the deeds of consolation from your love, I try to encourage myself, having your prayer as my help; and daily admonition from your love, as if a nearby teaching, is a consolation for my soul, proving the fervor of your holy prayer, - at which blessed Ezekiel reproaches me and says, remembering previous good deeds: “I passed by you, and I saw you, and behold, this was your time,” the time of those who drowned you; “And I stretched out My garments over you, and covered your nakedness; And I swore to you and entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord God, and you were very beautiful to Me. I washed you with water and washed away your blood and anointed you with oil. And he put on you a patterned robe, and shod you with morocco sandals, and girded you with fine linen, and covered you with a silk coverlet. And he dressed you in finery, and put a necklace on your hands and on your neck. And he gave you a ring for your nose and earrings for your ears and a beautiful crown for your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was fine linen and silk and embroidered fabrics; You ate bread made from the best wheat flour, honey and oil, and you were extremely beautiful. And your glory spread through the nations because of your beauty, because it was completely perfect in the splendid attire that I placed on you, says the Lord God. But you trusted in your beauty, and, taking advantage of your glory, you began to commit fornication and squander your fornication on everyone who passed by, giving yourself to him. And she took from your garments, and made herself heights of many colors, and committed fornication on them, as never has happened or will ever happen. And she took your fine clothes from My gold and from My silver, which I gave you, and made for herself images of men, and committed fornication with them” (Ezek. 16:8-17). Blessed Jeremiah calls out and speaks about this: “Do they not get up when they fall, and when they turn away from the way, do they not return?” “Is there no balm in Gilead? Isn’t there a doctor there?” ( Jer.8:4, 22 )? For “after she had done all this, I said: “Return to Me” (Jer. 3:7). But at the same time, I am afraid that your fear of God will ever think that we are expounding, as it were, a doctrine. No, I swear by the hope you have before God; but just as those tormented by terrible suffering, if they entrust the treatment of their illness to doctors, then with the hope of their medical remedies they calm their pain, in the same way, as a result of a conversation with your love: the wounds seemed to have already improved, I became more hopeful, because the very memory of your consolation imperceptibly gives birth to light in my heart. Therefore, I ask you, divine assembly of Christians, holy host, sacred people, pray for me to the Lord, since I can no longer stand being outside the herd, outside the net, outside the spiritual fence, but I want to be inside the vineyard, inside the bridal chamber, inside paradise, so that I can be in it with you. And when you see my wound, be afraid; I’m not ashamed to admit it, I’m not lazy and talk about it often; I was ashamed when I was ashamed. And, after reading my letter, send it throughout the brotherhood, constantly praying for the sinner’s conversion from the path of error, so that you can save your souls and cover many sins. Here, finally, I will put a limit to my word. I have a speech to you, most honest and most God-loving brother and father, because I never doubted to register you as a father, and to give you the rights of seniority as a brother. From you I ask a little more than from the entire brotherhood, just as young children, even if they frolic indecently at the breasts of their fathers, are never afraid of being driven out of their father’s heart, relying on the excess of their father’s disposition. But for me here too there is a slowdown, and I suffer, perhaps, a worthy punishment for my deeds; however, remember about me yourself, most God-loving Father Chrysostom, so that you do not somehow receive punishment for ruthlessness from the righteous Judge - God. God knows how, when remembering your sweetness, tears overcome reason and delay the word. Therefore, I will stop speaking here. God will be the Judge between me and you, sweetest and most God-loving Father Chrysostom, because to Him alone is glory and power forever and ever. Amen. In the Bible the meaning is the opposite: “he who gathers his wealth.” The further “will leave” should refer to wealth, but the author of the message means himself. (my translation – I.I.) This conversation, classified in Min's edition as Spuria, is included in volume 1 of this edition. Since it was not published in volume 1 of our publication, we place it at the end of volume 2.