Слово в неделю пятую Великого поста, сказанное в Предтеченской церкви архиерейского дома, 9-го марта 1858 года.

“The image of repentance belongs to you, all-venerable Mary, pray to Christ, during the time of fasting, this will be granted to us” (Svetilen). We saw an image of fasting and prayerful deeds, close and accessible to us, in the person of St. John Climacus. Now before us is an image of repentance that is also close and accessible, in the person of the Venerable Mary of Egypt. Who does not know the wonderful life of this wonderful wife? Who does not know to what depths of evil she descended, to what heights of virtue she later ascended, and how this amazing transition took place? We will not tell what is known to everyone, but we will only state what main truths relating to the feat of repentance this instructive life reminds us of. The first truth is that repentance is always possible for us. No matter how great and numerous our vices may be, no matter how long we have served lawlessness, no matter how rooted and inveterate we become in evil, we can always feel ourselves and turn to God with a prayer for mercy. For seventeen, the freshest and most flourishing years of her life, Mary indulged in sins unrepentantly. And how did you indulge? What sins? She seemed to have lost all shame; It seemed as if she had completely banished the fear of God from her heart, had completely drowned out the voice of conscience within herself. Mary's name was covered in universal disgrace. However, even this apparently lost soul could repent: why shouldn’t we repent too? Perhaps our sins are less than Mary’s sins: the easier it is for us to repent. And what if not less, what if even more? Mary came to her senses and began to repent when she rushed to the church to venerate the life-giving wood of the Cross of the Lord: St. the cross - this anchor of salvation for sinners is always with us; The “blood” of Jesus Christ, crucified on the cross, is able to cleanse us “from all sin” (John 2:1). Let us only appeal to Him, like Mary, with living faith in His merits on the Cross and hope in His mercy. Mary, when she began to repent, seeing the icon of the Mother of God at the entrance to the church, with tears begged Her to intercede before God: can we doubt that the Most Holy Theotokos is always ready to intercede for each of us, as soon as we turn to Her? Mary then made a vow to leave her former, vicious way of life and correct herself: what can we prevent ourselves from making the same vow, if only we wish? But this is all just the beginning. The second truth, which the life of the Venerable Mary of Egypt inspires in us, is that it is not enough just to acknowledge our sins and show contrition for them, it is not enough to ask for mercy from God and make a vow of a better life, but then we must actually fulfill this vow, we must enter into a struggle with all the passions and vices of which we have repented, and defeat them; we must try to make amends for our previous sins and please God with opposite virtues, sorrows, and deprivations. After seventeen years of a vicious life, Mary, having decided to correct herself, immediately retired to the desert and there for another seventeen years she vigilantly struggled with her sinful lusts and thoughts that drew her to her previous path - she fought like fierce beasts, in her own expression, until she won a complete victory over them. Then she spent another thirty years in the desert amid all kinds of hardships and labors, mourning her former hardships, exhausting her flesh with abstinence and fasting, struggling in unceasing contemplation of God and prayer. Mary's flesh became so refined and submissive to the spirit that sometimes during prayer she rose from the ground and could walk on the waters as if on dry land. This is what true repentance should be like, and not what it most often looks like among us! Now we lament our sins, and after a day or several days we take up the same things again. Now we make a vow to renounce our bad inclinations and habits and act according to God’s law, and at the first temptation we yield to these inclinations without the slightest resistance or struggle. No, repentance for sins, awareness of their guilt, contrition for them, vows to correct themselves - all these are only good seeds. It is also necessary that these seeds are not drowned out by everyday worries and bear fruit: otherwise, what is the use? And penitents must constantly remember the words of St. John the Baptist: “bring forth fruit worthy of repentance” (Matthew 3:8) - that is, testify to the truth of your repentance by correcting your life. Finally, the third truth, instilled in us by the example of the Venerable Mary of Egypt, is that while we ourselves are trying to repent of our sins and correct ourselves, we should use together the God-given means for this purpose: the sacraments of repentance and the Eucharist - and use them as they should. For decades, Mary mourned her sins in the desert and pleased the Lord; Through many years of exploits, she completely transformed herself, ascended to the heights of spiritual perfection, and became like the angels. Meanwhile, she still felt the weight of her long-past iniquities above her and prayed to God that He would deign to ease her conscience by confessing her sins to her spiritual father. And so, according to God’s dispensation, the great Abba Zosimas came to the desert where the saint labored. Oh..., with what detail she confessed her sins to him then, how she did not spare herself, how she was not ashamed to reveal to him even the slightest circumstances that increased her guilt! Having received permission from the monk, she asked him to come to her no earlier than a year later, with St. life-giving mysteries, wanting to better prepare to receive them, and when the mysteries were brought, she, after the usual prayers, partook of this divine food and drink with the greatest reverence. If such a high ascetic, who had repented before God for so many years, considered it necessary for herself to confess her sins in all detail before her spiritual father and to taste the body and blood of Christ with all reverence: isn’t both of these even more necessary for us, sinners? Didn’t the Savior himself say to the shepherds of the Church: “Whose sins you forgive, they will be forgiven them; and whose sins you hold, they hold fast” (John 20:23)? How can they let go or not let go if we don’t reveal to them what exactly we are guilty of? Who also does not know the words of the Savior addressed to all of us: “If you do not eat the flesh of the Son of Man or drink His blood, you will not have life in yourself” (John 6:53), as well as the instruction of St. Apostle: “Let a man tempt himself, and so eat from the bread, and from the cup, let him drink: he who eats and drinks unworthily, eats and drinks judgment for himself, without discerning the body of the Lord” (1 Cor. 11:28-29)? Let us imprint, brethren, in our hearts all three truths, which our venerable mother Mary now teaches us by her example, and let us take care now, in this present fast, to use them for our salvation. Meanwhile, we will not cease to appeal to her: “I have an image of repentance for you, all-venerable Mary, pray to Christ, during the time of fasting, this will be granted to us.” Amen. You might be interested in: