Беседа 3

1 Timothy 1:12–14. I thank Him who gave me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, that He recognized me as faithful, appointing me to serve, me, who was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and an offender, but was shown mercy because I acted this way out of ignorance, in unbelief; The grace of our Lord was revealed to me abundantly with faith and love in Christ Jesus. Humility of the Ap. Pavel. - About repaying good for evil. 1. We see that humility brings great benefits, but we do not quickly find it anywhere; True, (we meet) the greatest humiliation; in words, even more than it should be, but we do not find true humility anywhere. Blessed Paul wanted to acquire it so much that everywhere he invented many reasons to make his soul humble. And since those who are aware that they have accomplished important feats must work most of all when they want to acquire humility, he probably suffered great (in this regard) violence from the consciousness of the good he had done, which, like a strong current of water, attracted him to arrogance. So look what he does here too. He said that I have been entrusted with the gospel of the glory of God - a gospel of which those who still hold the law cannot be partakers. He contrasts one with the other, and puts such a distance between them that whoever adheres to the latter is not yet worthy to become a partaker of the former, just as if someone said that those who need chains and punishment cannot yet be counted among the host of the wise. And since he (before) exalted himself and said many great things about himself, he (now) at the same time humbles himself and exhorts others to do the same. Having written: “which was entrusted to me” (1 Tim. 1:11), he immediately humbles himself, so that you do not think that he said this out of pride. So, look at what figure of speech he uses to correct (what was said before), when he adds and says: “I thank him who gave me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he considered me faithful, appointing me to serve.” Do you see how he always hides his merits and attributes everything to God - however, in such a way that this does not destroy free will? An unbeliever could probably say: if everything belongs to God and we are of ourselves, we bring nothing, but (God), like trees and stones, turns us from vice to wisdom, then why did He make Paul this way, but not Judas? Therefore, see with what prudence one expresses oneself when preventing such an objection. “Which,” he says, “has been entrusted to me.” This constitutes his merit and honor, but not everything belongs to him; look that he (further) says: “I thank him who gave me strength, Christ Jesus,” - this refers to God; then again he points to what belongs to him: “that He recognized me as faithful” - of course, because he wanted on his own to contribute to this. “Having identified,” he says, “me, who was formerly a blasphemer and persecutor and offender, but was pardoned because [he] acted in ignorance, in unbelief.” See how he speaks both about what belongs to him and about what belongs to God; but he attributes more to the Providence of God, and degrades what belongs to him, however, so that, as I said before, through this he does not destroy free will? What does it mean: “who gave me strength”? Listen. He had taken on a great burden and needed great help from above. Judge, in fact, how difficult it was to resist daily insults, reproaches, slander, dangers, disputes, reproaches, deaths and not become despondent, not lose heart, not waver and, despite the fact that thousands of arrows were thrown at him from everywhere every day, stand with a firm, fearless look! This was beyond human strength, although it did not depend on God’s assistance alone, but also on his free will. That God chose him, foreseeing what he would be like - listen to what (God himself) says even before (the apostle) began to preach: “For he is my chosen vessel, to proclaim my name before the nations and kings and the children of Israel” (Acts 9:15), Just like those who carry the royal banner in war, usually called lauron ( λάβοΰρον) 4 must have great strength and experience, so as not to betray him to his enemies, and those who bear the name of Christ not only in times of war, but also in times of peace, must have a lot of firmness, so as not to betray him to blasphemous lips, but courageously hold and bear the cross. Truly great strength is needed to bear the name of Christ. Anyone who says, or does, or has anything unworthy in his thoughts does not bear His name and does not have Christ in him. Meanwhile, the one who bears (this name) solemnly marches not through the marketplace, but through heaven; (at the sight of him) everyone is filled with awe, the angels accompany him and are surprised at him. “I thank,” he says, “who gave me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord.” Look, he thanks God even for what belongs to himself. Because he is a chosen vessel, he brings gratitude to Him. This also belongs to you, blessed Paul, because God is no respecter of persons. But I thank, he says, for the fact that He has honored me with this service, because this is a sign that He considers me faithful. Just as in a house the steward is not partial. only he is grateful to the master for his trust, but also gives the latter a sign that (the master) considers him more worthy of trust than others, so here too. Then look at how, describing his former life, he extols the mercy and love of God, “Who was before,” he says, “a blasphemer and a persecutor and an offender.” He expresses himself much more condescendingly even when he speaks about the Jews, despite the fact that even at that time they remained in unbelief: “for I testify to them,” he says, “that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge” (Rom. 10:2); but he says about himself that he was a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an annoyancer. Do you see his humility, how unconceited he is, what a humble soul he has? He is not content with calling himself a detractor and persecutor; and (he also shows) that he did it with particular bitterness. Not only, he says, did I strengthen evil within myself and was not content with being a blasphemer myself, but I also persecuted those who wanted to live piously. (I brought) blasphemy to the greatest fury. “But he received mercy because [he] acted in ignorance, in unbelief.” 2. Why were the other Jews not pardoned? Because they did what they did not out of ignorance, but knowing and understanding very well. To be completely convinced of this, listen to what the evangelist says: “Many of the rulers believed in Him, but did not confess, for they loved the glory of men more than the glory of God” (John 12:42-43). And again Christ says: “How can you believe when you receive glory from one another” (John 5:44)? - and he also says (the evangelist): “This is how his parents answered, because they were afraid of the Jews; for the Jews have already agreed that whoever recognizes Him as Christ should put him out of the synagogue” (John 9:22). In addition, the Jews themselves said: “Do you see that you do not have time to do anything? the whole world follows Him” (John 12:19). They were always driven by the passion of ambition. And when they said that no one “can forgive sins except God alone” (Luke 5:21), then (Christ) immediately did what they set as a sign (of the power) of God. So, all this did not happen out of ignorance. Where was Paul then? Probably, someone will say, (he was) at the feet of Gamaliel, who had nothing in common with this rebellious crowd, since Gamaliel was the kind of man who did nothing out of ambition. How then does Paul subsequently appear among this crowd? He saw that this teaching was spreading and becoming dominant, and that everyone would follow it. During the life of Christ (the people) sometimes came to Him, and sometimes to the (Jewish) teachers. When they completely separated (from the latter), then he, not like others - out of lust for power, began to act as he acted, but out of jealousy. Why did he go to Damascus? He considered the cause (of the Christians) to be harmful, and was afraid that the preaching would spread everywhere. But the Jews (did) not like that. They did everything not out of concern for many, but out of lust for power. Look what they say: “they will take possession of both our place and our people” (John 11:48). What fear gripped them? Human. It is also necessary to consider how (Paul), being so versed in the law, knew nothing - because he himself says: “He promised first through his prophets in the holy scriptures” (Rom. 1:2). How did you not know this, being a zealot of the fatherly law, brought up at the feet of Gamaliel? Those who spent their lives on rivers and lakes and tax collectors flocked (to Christ) and accepted Him; and you, experienced in the law, are you persecuting Him? That is why he condemns himself, saying: “and is not worthy to be called an Apostle” (1 Cor. 15:9). That is why he confesses to ignorance, which stems from unbelief. That is why he says that he was pardoned. What does it mean: “that He declared me faithful”? The fact that he did not betray the Lord in anything, said that everything belonged to him, even called his own God’s, did not appropriate the glory of God to himself - listen, in fact, to what he says in another place: “Men! what are you doing? And we are people like you” (Acts 14:15) - this is what it means: “That He considered me faithful.” And again in another place, “but I have labored more than all of them,” he says: “It is not I, however, but the grace of God that is with me” (1 Cor. 15:10), and again: “it works in you to will and to act according to His good pleasure” (Phil. 2:13). He himself, according to him, was worthy of punishment, because pardon is given to just such (people). And again in another place he says: “the bitterness took place in Israel in part” (Rom. 11:25). “But the grace,” he says, “of our Lord (Jesus Christ) was revealed to me abundantly with faith and love in Christ Jesus.” What does it mean? So that you, having heard the words: “I was pardoned,” did not stop with the thought only on this, he says: “I was a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and an annoyancer,” and therefore worthy of punishment; but he was not punished because he was pardoned. But did this only (you received), did mercy extend only to the point that you did not suffer punishment? No, but (you received) other many and great (benefits). God not only freed us from the punishment that threatened us, but also made us righteous, and sons, and brothers, and friends, and heirs, and joint heirs. That is why he says: “Grace was revealed in me,” expressing the thought that these gifts exceeded the (limits of) mercy, because (to do this) is characteristic not only of those who have mercy, but also of those who are well-disposed and deeply loving. So, having said many great things about God’s love for mankind, that (God) had mercy on him, although he was a blasphemer and a persecutor and an oppressor, and not only did not limit himself to this, but also honored him with other great (good deeds), (the apostle) again confirms what is said against the infidels, i.e., that (one should not) say that free will does not exist, adding (the following words): “with faith and love in Christ Jesus." For our part, he says, we brought only one thing, namely, we believed that He could save. 3. Therefore let us love Him (God) through Christ. What does through Christ mean? What He has prepared for us is not the law. Do you see what benefits Christ was the author of for us, and what benefits the law? And (the apostle) not only said: “grace increased”, but: “increased,” because it really “increased” 5 when it suddenly leads to adoption of those who deserved a thousand plagues. Here again (here the preposition) “in” (έν) means the same as “through” (διά). We need not only faith, but also love, because today there are many who believe that Christ is God, but do not love Him and do not act as those who love Him should. Indeed, how (they love Him) when everything is preferred to Him - money, fate, fate, omens, fortune telling, sorcery? If we live in such a way that we insult Him, then tell me, what kind of love do we have for Him? If anyone has a friend for whom he has ardent, fiery love, then let him love Christ at least as much, let him at least love Him as much as He who gave up His Son for His enemies, without any merit on our part. What am I saying - merit? For those who committed the greatest crimes, who dared without any reason to do something that should never have been dared. After countless benefits and care for us, He still did not reject us; on the contrary, He gave up His Son for us, precisely at a time when we committed the most iniquities. Meanwhile, we, having received such great (blessings), having become His friends and being granted all these benefits through Him, did not love Him even as we love our friends. What hope remains for us after this? Perhaps you tremble at these words. Oh, that such actions (would make you tremble)! But how is this possible, you say, do we really not love God even as we love our friends? How is this possible? I'll try to explain it to you; True, I pray that what I said turns out to be unfounded, idle talk; but I’m afraid that my words will not agree with reality. Look. For friends who are truly our friends, many of us often suffer a loss; but for Christ no one dares not only to sacrifice something, but also to be content with what he has. For a friend, we are often subjected to insults and hostility; but for Christ’s sake no one will agree to endure hostility; on the contrary, (everyone) says: love freely, but hate not freely. We never despise a friend who is tormented by hunger; but we do not even allow Christ, who comes to us every day - not for much, but only for one bread, to come to us, and this is when we experience stinking belching, when we are more satiated than we should be, when we overeat, when we smell of yesterday's wine, when we indulge in excessive pleasures, and some of us give gifts to harlots, others to parasites, others to flatterers, others to freaks, half-intelligent and dwarfs: yes, (people) turn even these natural shortcomings into amusement. We do not envy friends who are our true friends, and we do not grieve at the sight of their well-being; and in relation to Christ we are not free from this passion. Finally, anyone can notice that (among people) friendship has more power than the fear of God, since even the wicked and envious are more ashamed of people than of God. Where can you see this? I will tell you where it comes from: man, despite the fact that God sees everything that happens in his heart, does not stop plotting; Meanwhile, if a person sees a person, he considers himself dead and blushes. What else can I say? We come to a friend who is in misfortune and, if we hesitate a little, we are afraid, lest we be condemned for this; and we won’t even look at Christ, who often dies in chains. And we come to friends who believe (in Christ) not because they believe in Him, but because they are our friends. 4. So, do you see that nothing is done out of fear of God or out of love for God, but everything is done either out of friendship or out of habit? We cry and sigh when we see a friend setting off in a foreign direction; we weep when we see him dead, although we know that he was not separated from us forever and that he will be returned to us again at the resurrection; and when Christ moves away from us every day, or better, when we drive Christ away from us every day, we do not grieve, on the contrary, insulting Him, annoying Him, upsetting Him, doing something displeasing to Him, we do not even think that we are committing any crime. But this would not be so terrible if we only acted with Him, not as a friend. And I will prove that we treat Him as an enemy. How? “The carnal mind,” says Paul, “is enmity against God” (Rom. 8:7). Meanwhile, this wisdom is constantly inherent in us. Christ, Who desires to come to us, as soon as He approaches our doors, we drive away - this is precisely what evil deeds do - we insult Him every day with our covetousness and rapacity. Do they praise a person who enjoys a good reputation for preaching Christ and benefiting the Church? And we envy him because he does the work of God; we think that we envy him, but meanwhile our envy turns to Christ. No, you say, we want the benefit to come from us, and not from others, (hence, we want this) not for Christ, but for us, because if it is for Christ, then we should not care whether it comes from us or from others. Tell me, if any doctor who has a son in danger of losing his sight, himself, not being able to help him, finds another (doctor) who can do this, will he really reject him? In no case; on the contrary, he would say this: it doesn’t matter whether it comes from you or from me, just let it be useful to him. Why is this so? Because he has in mind not his own benefit, but his son’s. Likewise, if we paid attention to what relates to Christ, we would say this: whether through us, or through someone else, only let that which can be useful be done: “feignedly or sincerely,” says (the apostle), “however Christ is preached” (Phil. 1:18). Listen to what Moses says to those who wanted to arouse his anger when Eldad and Modad prophesied: “Are you not jealous for me? Oh, if all the Lord’s people were prophets” (Num. 11:29)? All this comes from a thirst for fame. So, isn’t it common for enemies and adversaries to do this? Did someone say a bad word to you? You love him. But how is this possible? It is possible, and very possible, if you want. If you love someone who speaks well of you, then this does not constitute merit, because you do it not for the Lord, but for your own glory. Will anyone harm you? Do him good. If you start doing good to someone who has done good to you, then you will not have accomplished anything important. Have you been wronged and caused great loss? Try to pay for it with the opposite actions. Yes, I beg you, this is how we will arrange our actions. Let's stop doing evil to our enemies and hating them. He (Christ) commands us to love our enemies, and we are hostile to Himself, although He loves us. May the Lord not allow this, you say. We all say this in words, but in reality we do not all act this way. Sin blinds us to such an extent that even what cannot be tolerated in words is tolerated in actions. Therefore, let us withdraw, albeit late, from those who hinder and harm our salvation, so that we may receive what our friends (Christ’s) should receive. “I want,” He says, “that where I am, they too should be with Me, so that they may see My glory” (John 17:24), which may we all be worthy to receive by the grace and love of our Lord Jesus Christ, with whom to the Father with the Holy Spirit be glory, power, honor, now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen. These conversations were delivered by the saint, probably in Antioch around 397. Probably a mistake, instead of λάβαρον labarum, a banner with a cross. In the Synodal translation this word is translated as “revealed abundantly.” – I.N. You might be interested in: