Беседа 12

Col.4:12–13. Epaphras, your servant of Jesus Christ, greets you, always striving for you in prayer, so that you may remain perfect and fulfilled with everything that pleases God. I testify of him that he has great zeal and care for you and for those in Laodicea and Hierapolis. Paul is an example of all virtues. – Depraved women at wedding celebrations. – What marriages should be like. 1. And at the beginning of the letter (the apostle) recommends this man from the side of love; and love is also evidenced by the fact that, in praise of him, he said first: “Who also made us aware of your love in the Spirit,” he says (Col. 1:8). The fact that he prays for them also testifies to love and arouses love for him. And he recommends him in order to promote his preaching - because when the mentor is a respectable person, then this is useful for the students, and again with the words: “you” it is instilled in them that they should be proud of such a person, that such people come out of them. “Always,” he says, “contending for you in prayer.” He didn’t just say: one who prays, but one who “strives,” with trembling and fear. “I testify about him,” he says, “that he has great zeal and care for you.” Reliable witness! “That he has,” he says, “great jealousy and care for you,” that is, that he loves you passionately, that he has a strong attachment to you. “And about those in Laodicea,” he says, “and Hierapolis.” And this is why he recommends it. But how could they know this? Of course they could hear; but they learned for sure when they began to read this message: “Order,” he says, “that it be read also in the Laodicean church” (Col. 4:16). “So that you may remain perfect,” he says. Here he at the same time denounces them, slightly convinces them, and gives them advice. After all, it is possible to be perfect and not stand still when someone knows everything and yet still hesitates. It is possible not to be perfect and to stand when someone knows only part of it, but stands, albeit unsteadily. But he desires both, “so that you may remain (ίνα στητέ - may you become), he says, “perfect.” Look how he again reminded them of the word about angels, and about life. “And filled,” he says, “with everything that pleases God.” It is not enough to do only the will (of God). He who fully recognizes (the will of God) will not allow him to have another will; otherwise he did not fully recognize her. “I testify,” he says, “of him, that he has great zeal.” “Jealousy”, and even “great”; here every word has weight; So he says about himself in his letter to the Corinthians: “For I am jealous for you with the jealousy of God” (2 Cor. 11:2). “Luke, the beloved physician, greets you” (Col. 4:14). This is an evangelist. He places him after (Epaphras), without humiliating him by this, but only elevates Epaphras. Of course, there were others who bore the same name. "And Demas". Having said: “Luke, the doctor, greets you,” he added: “beloved.” And this is no small praise, but on the contrary, it is too great to be Paul’s beloved. “Greet the brethren in Laodicea, and Nymphas, and his house church” (Col. 4:15). Look how he brings them together, how he binds them to each other: he not only sends them his greetings for this purpose, but also corresponds with them. And then he also shows his disposition (towards Nymphan) by addressing him especially. He does this not without intention, but in order to awaken competition in others: after all, it means something when someone is distinguished from others. Meanwhile, look, it is clear from his words that he was a famous man, since his house served as a church. “When this epistle has been read among you, then cause it to be read also in the Laodicean church” (Col. 4:16). It seems to me that something was written here that these (Laodiceans) also needed to hear, and for them the greater benefit arose from this when, from the reproof directed against others, they recognized their own shortcomings. “And that which is from Laodicea, read ye also” (Col. 4:16). Some argue that (here of course) it is not Paul’s letter to them (the Laodiceans), but their letter to Paul; and in fact, he did not say: written to the Laodiceans, but says: “Say to Archippus: see that you fulfill the ministry which you have received in the Lord” (Col. 4:17). Why doesn't he write to him? Probably there was no need for this, but only one slight reminder was needed to make him more zealous. “My greeting comes from Paul’s hand” (Col. 4:18). This is proof of closeness and affection - that, seeing his letters, they had some special feeling for them. “Remember my bonds” (Col. 4:18). Oh, what a consolation! This was enough to make them do anything, to inspire in them a noble determination for all exploits; and not only did this give them courage, but also united them more closely with each other. “Grace be with you all. Amen” (Col. 4:18). 2. It is great praise, even more than any other praise, that he expresses himself about Epaphras in this way: “The servant of Jesus Christ greets you.” He also calls him their minister, just as he calls himself a minister of the Church when he says: “Which I have become a minister” (Col. 1:25). He elevates this man to the same dignity: above he called him a fellow servant, here he called him a slave. “Welcomes you,” he says. It’s as if he is talking to his mother and telling her: after all, from your womb! But this praise could breed envy. Therefore, he recommends it not only from this side, but also from the side of what actually related to them. And there he eliminates envy, and here. “Always,” he says, “he who strives for you”: not now only with us - to show himself, and not only with you - to show himself to you. Having said: “he who strives”; he expressed by this special zeal (Epaphras). Then, so that it would not seem to anyone that he was flattering them, he added: “that he has great zeal and concern for you and for those in Laodicea and Hierapolis.” Likewise, the words: “so that you may remain perfect” also do not contain any flattery, but, on the contrary, could not be more natural in the mouth of the venerable mentor. “Fulfilled,” he says, “and perfect.” He gave them the first (that is, he filled them with the knowledge of faith), but the last (perfection), according to him, they still lack. And he did not say: so that you do not hesitate, but: so that you stand. Meanwhile, the greetings they received from many reassured them with the confidence that they were remembered not only by their own people, among themselves, but also by others. “Say to Archippus: See that you fulfill the ministry which you have received in the Lord” (Col. 4:18). He submits them to him. They could no longer complain about him, why did he denounce them, when they themselves accepted everything: after all, it is wrong for students to judge their teacher. To stop their mouths, he writes this. “Tell Archippus,” he says, “look” (βλέπε, look). This word always contains a warning, as for example it says: “Beware of dogs” (Phil. 3:2); “Be careful, brethren, that no one deceives you” (Col. 2:8); “Beware, however, that this freedom of yours does not serve as a stumbling block to the weak” (1 Cor. 8:9); and in general they always say that when they warn. “See to it,” he says, “that you fulfill the ministry that you have accepted in the Lord.” He does not allow him to be a master, as he said about himself: “for if I do this voluntarily, I will have a reward; and if it is involuntary, then I perform only the ministry entrusted to me” (1 Cor. 9:17). “To fulfill your service,” - constantly applying your efforts. "Which you received in the Lord." Here again, “in the Lord” means the same thing as “through the Lord.” He, that is, entrusted this responsibility to you, not us. And he subordinates them to him, showing that he was given to them by God himself. “Remember my bonds. Grace be with you all. Amen." He destroyed fear. If the teacher is in chains, then grace allows him. And it is a matter of grace that she allowed him to become a prisoner. Listen to what Luke says: the apostles returned “rejoicing because they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name of the Lord Jesus” (Acts 5:41). And indeed, in order to accept dishonor and bonds (for Christ), one must still be worthy of this. If someone who has a loved one considers it a godsend for himself to suffer something because of him, then it is all the greater (happiness) to suffer for Christ. Let us not be annoyed at insults for Christ, but let us also remember Paul’s bonds—let this (memory) serve as encouragement for us. Suppose, for example, you convince someone to give to the poor for Christ’s sake: remind these (people) of Paul’s bonds, tell them that you and I are unhappy people if he gave up his body to bonds for the sake of Him (Christ), and you do not want to share food. Or have you already become great in your deeds? Remember Pavlov’s bonds, remember that you have never suffered anything like this, and you will cease to be arrogant. Do you want what your neighbor has? Remember Pavlov’s bonds, and you will see what an incongruity there is - when he is in misfortune, and you live for your own pleasure. But do you still really want pleasure? So bring Pavlov’s prison to mind. You are his disciple, you are his comrade-in-arms. Is there any common sense here - when your comrade-in-arms is in bonds, and you are enjoying pleasures? Or have you been saddened, do you consider yourself abandoned? Listen to the words of Pavlov, and you will see that enduring grief does not mean being abandoned. Would you like to wear a silk dress? Remember Pavlov’s bonds, and all this will seem more contemptible to you than the dirtiest rags. Do you want to wear gold jewelry? Bring to mind Pavlov’s bonds, and then it will seem to you that all this is no better than the old rope. Or did you want to remove your hair and appear beautiful? Think about how pitiful Paul looked in prison, and believe me, you will be inflamed (with love) for that beauty, but you will consider this one to be extreme ugliness and you will sigh heavily for these coveted bonds. Do you want to color yourself with rubs, blush and something else like that? Think about his tears: for three years, day and night, he cried incessantly. It’s better to decorate your cheeks with this decoration; these tears will give them brilliant beauty. I don’t demand that you cry for others - I would really like that too, but it exceeds your strength - at least I ask you to cry for your sins. You ordered your servant to be tied up, were you angry and heated? Remember Pavlov’s bonds, and your anger will immediately pass. Just remember that we ourselves belong to the number of those who are bound, and not of those who bind, - of those who are broken-hearted, and not of those who lead to contrition. Are you too happy and laughing? Bring to your mind his sobs and sigh; these tears will make you incomparably more beautiful. Did you see people feasting and dancing? Remember his tears: what source released as many streams as these eyes - tears? Remember, he says, my tears are like bonds here (Acts 20:31). And rightly he told them this when he called them from Ephesus to Miletus. He spoke with the mentors: from those he demanded that they gather (believers), and from these only that they endure danger. 3. What source would you like to compare to these tears? The one who was in paradise and watered the whole earth? But there is no comparison between the one and the other, because this source of tears watered souls, not the earth. If someone showed us Paul crying and sighing, wouldn’t it be true that it would be much more pleasant to look at him than at a countless host of people adorned with shining crowns? Not to mention you; but even if someone brought from the theater, straight from the stage, some of the most unbridled people, inflamed to the point of madness by carnal love, and showed him an immaculate maiden in the prime of life, who surpasses her peers in the beauty of her face, and the harmony of other parts, and other advantages, who has a gentle and languid gaze, slightly deep, slightly absent-minded, a moist gaze, meek, clear, smiling, full of timid modesty and at the same time great beauty, a gaze crowned above and below with dark eyelashes - would have shown a girl with what is called a soul, who has a clear brow, and a cheek under her brow with a pink tint, which is slender, as if hewn from marble - and then he would have shown me Pavel in tears - I would have left her and rushed to look at him, since spiritual beauty would have shone in his eyes. That beauty delights the souls of young people, ignites them, burns them, but this one, on the contrary, tames them; whoever looks into the eyes of this person makes the eye of his soul more beautiful, tames the womb, is filled with wisdom, becomes a person of the highest degree compassionate, and can soften even an adamantine heart. The Church is watered with these tears, souls are restored with them. If there is fire, even sensual and carnal, these tears can extinguish it, these tears extinguish the kindled arrows of the evil one. So let us remember his tears, and then everything in real life will seem funny to us. Christ blessed these tears when he said: blessed are those who weep, blessed are those who weep, for they will laugh. Isaiah shed these tears, and Jeremiah shed them too; one said: “Leave me alone, I will weep bitterly” (Isa. 22:4), and the other cried: “Oh, who will give my head water and my eyes a source of tears” (Jer. 9:1)? – as if the natural (source) were not enough. There is nothing sweeter than these tears; it is more pleasant than any laughter. Let it be known to those who shed tears how much consolation there is in them. We should not consider them something unpleasant for ourselves, but, on the contrary, extremely desirable. Let us remember these tears, these bonds, not so that others will sin, but so that we may feel contrition at the sight of their sins. Perhaps these tears flowed partly as a result of the bonds: the death of those dead (people) who imposed these bonds on him did not allow him to feel the pleasure of the bonds. And he sympathized with them: after all, this was a disciple of the One who mourned the Jewish priests, not because they had Him crucified, but because they themselves perished. And this (Teacher) not only acts in this way, but also convinces others to do so with the words: “Daughters of Jerusalem! do not weep for Me” (Luke 23:28). These eyes saw heaven, saw the third heaven; but I call them blessed not so much because they saw it, but because of these tears for which they saw Christ, and this is truly bliss! He himself considers this a great honor for himself when he says: “Have I not seen Jesus Christ our Lord?” (1 Cor. 9:1). But even greater bliss lies in this crying. Many were worthy of that vision, and Christ still calls those who were not worthy of it blessed when he says: “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:29); and not many people got to do this (cry for Christ). If staying here for the sake of Christ is more necessary for the salvation of others than allowing yourself to be with Him later, then it is natural that seeing Him is not as important as feeling sorry for others. Even if to be in hell for His sake is a greater good than to be with Him, and to separate from Him for His sake is much more attractive than to be constantly with Him - this is what (Paul) meant when he said: “I would like to be excommunicated from Christ myself” (Rom. 9:3), - then all the more (he wanted) to shed tears for His sake. “Without ceasing,” he says, “he taught each one of you with tears” (Acts 20:31). Why? Not because he was afraid of dangers, but - like someone who sits with a sick person and, not knowing the outcome of the illness, cries due to strong attachment to him, out of fear that he will not die - and when he saw the sick person (spiritually) and did not have the opportunity to reason with him, he began to cry. This is what Christ did so that at least they would be ashamed of His tears. For example, if anyone sinned, He first admonished him; but if the one being admonished spat on Him and walked away, then He cried, in order to at least in this way attract him to Himself. 4. Let us remember these tears. Let us raise our daughters and our sons in this way, shedding tears when we see their bad behavior. Those who want to be loved, let them remember Pavlov’s tears and be contrite in their hearts. If you are considered happy, if you live in palaces, if you enjoy pleasures, remember these tears. If you are experiencing grief, drive away tears with tears; he wept not for the dead, but for the living who were going to their destruction. I will also point out to you other tears. And Timothy shed tears because he was his (Paul's) disciple. That is why (Paul) wrote to him: “Remembering your tears, so that I may be filled with joy” (2 Tim. 1:4). Many cry bitterly and with joy; therefore, tears are also a consequence of joy, and, moreover, the most intense joy. After this, of course, tears are not heavy if they come from such joy; but these tears, which come from worldly joy, are not nearly as sweet as those. Listen to what the prophet says: “The Lord has heard the voice of my crying” (Ps. 6:9). And can there be such cases when tears are not useful - during prayer and during exhortations? We condemn them; but this is because they are not used for what they were given for. When we persuade a brother living in sin, we should cry, if only we sympathize and sigh for him. When we convince someone, but he doesn’t listen and goes to his death, we need to cry. These are reasonable tears. But if someone becomes poor, or becomes physically ill, or dies, one should not cry, because it is not worth tears. So, just as we blame laughter if it comes at the wrong time, we blame tears when they come at the wrong time. Only then is the true dignity of everyone revealed when he strives for appropriate actions; and when - not to the corresponding ones, then quite the opposite. For example, wine is given for amusement, not for drunkenness; bread for nutrition; married life for procreation. And just as this is subject to censure due to abuse, so it is with tears. If there were such a law that tears were shed only during prayer and admonitions, look how attractive this thing would become? Nothing can atone for sins better than tears; and even the most physical appearance appears attractive from tears; they incline the viewer to mercy and give the person an appearance that inspires us with respect. Nothing is more attractive than eyes shedding tears. This is our noblest and most beautiful member, this is the organ of the soul. They touch us to such an extent that it is as if we see our very soul in tears. All this is being told to you not without a purpose, but so that you are not present at wedding festivities, dances and satanic gatherings. After all, look what the devil came up with! Since women are removed from the stage and from the abominations that happen there by nature itself, he entered the woman’s home with theatrical (abominations) - I’m talking about effeminate and depraved women. This plague was brought with it by the law of marriage, or better yet, not marriage - let it not be! - but our carelessness. What are you doing, man? You don't know what you're doing. A wife is intended for a chaste life and for childbearing: why are depraved women here? In order, you say, to make it more fun. Isn't this crazy? You insult the bride, you insult the guests. If they find pleasure in these (things), then this is an insult. If this gives a little shine when they look from the outrageousness of the harlots, then why are you dragging the bride here so that she can look too? In any case, it is a disgrace and disgrace to bring into the house licentious men and dancers with all their satanic pomp. “Remember,” he says, “my bonds.” Marriage is a bond, and a bond established by God; a depraved woman breaks and destroys these bonds; In another way, you can ensure that the wedding celebration is cheerful - for example: preparing a rich table and a luxurious dress; I do not forbid this, so as not to seem too strict. True, one veil was enough for Rebekah; but I don't forbid it. You can wear your best dress for the celebration, respectable people - men and women - can come to this celebration. But why do you start these fun things, these quirks? Well, tell me, what do you hear from them? Are you ashamed to say? If it’s embarrassing, then why do you force them to do it? If this is good, then why don’t you do it yourself; and if it’s bad, why do you force someone else to do it? Everything should be imbued with modesty, decency and good taste. Meanwhile, I now see something completely opposite: they gallop like camels or like mules. A girl needs only one bedroom. Are you saying she's poor? But just because she is poor, she must behave decently. Let her have a good disposition instead of wealth. She doesn't have a dowry? But why do you take away other virtues from her, corrupting her soul? In my opinion, it is good that girls come to honor their peers, and women also come to honor the one who joins their society. This is a good custom. There are two circles: one consists of girls, the other of women; those give, those receive; the bride between them is neither a maiden nor a woman. She leaves from there and enters this society. But why are slutty women here? Instead of hiding and saving ourselves from them when the marriage happens - because debauchery is the corruption of marriage - we bring them to the marriage. After all, when you do something else, you even in words are careful not to harm the cause. For example, when you are sowing, or when you are pouring wine that has just been squeezed out, you cannot even tell what leaven means. And here, where such a chaste matter is taking place (marriage), you have leaven, because a depraved woman is a real leaven. When you prepare fragrant ointment, you make sure that there is nothing even nearby that gives off a bad odor. And marriage is a fragrant ointment. How do you bring stinking dirt to where you prepare fragrant ointment? What are you saying? Is the girl having fun and has no time to be ashamed of her peer? Yes, she needs to be more respectful than the latter. But she came from the hands (of her parents), and not from the palaestra (the school of wrestlers). It’s better for the girl not to show up at the wedding celebration at all. 5. Don’t you know what happens in the royal palace, how only those who have earned this honor are allowed inside and surround the king, and those who have not earned it stand in the courtyard? And you be inside - near the bride; but be clean in the house; do not dishonor virginity. Relatives from both sides are present here: some show which one they are giving, and others have to observe it: why are you dishonoring virginity? After all, if you are like that, the groom has the right to think the same about the bride. If you want to be loved, then the merchant, the greengrocer, and the artisan (want the same). And that's not a shame? Of course, it’s a shame if you behave disorderly, even if you were the king’s daughter. Would you say that it is poverty or craft that is hindering you? But even if a girl is a slave, she must still live in chastity: “there is neither slave nor free... in Christ Jesus” (Gal. 3:28). After all, marriage is not a spectacle. This is a sacrament and an image of a great thing. If you are not ashamed of him yourself, at least be ashamed of what he serves as an image. “This mystery,” says (the apostle), “is great; I speak in relation to Christ and to the Church” (Eph. 5:32). This is an image of the Church and Christ, and you bring depraved women? But if, you say, neither girls nor women will dance, then who will dance? Nobody. What kind of necessity is dancing? Dance (is appropriate) in the mysteries of the Hellenes, but in ours there is silence and decency, modesty and restraint. A great sacrament is being performed: behold the depraved women, behold the unclean! What kind of sacrament? Two people come together and become one. And why, when (the bride) enters, there is no dancing or cymbals, but there is deep silence and calm, and when they unite, forming not a soulless image, not the image of something earthly, but God himself, do you make such a noise, disturb the peace of those present, disgrace and disturb the soul? Those who will be one body are coming. Here again is the mystery of love! If two are not one, as long as they remain two, they will not produce many; and when the connection is reached, then they only begin to produce. What conclusion follows from this? That unity has great power. The creative wisdom of God from the very beginning divided one into two and, wanting to show that even after division one remains, it arranged so that one is not enough for birth. After all, whoever has not yet united (by marriage) does not constitute the whole, but half. This is evident from the fact that he does not produce children as before. Do you see the secret of marriage? From one He made two, and then from two He made and still makes one, so that even now a person is born of one - because a wife and a husband are not two people, but one person. And this can be seen from many places, such as from the example of Jacob, Mary, the mother of Christ, from the words: “male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27). And if he is the head, and she is the body, then how are there two of them? That is why she is destined to be a student, and he a teacher; he should be the boss, she should be the subordinate. And from the very formation of the body it is clear that they are one, because (the wife) came from the rib of the husband and both of them constitute, as it were, two parts of one whole. This is why He calls her helper, to show that they are one. This is why He places conjugal cohabitation above father and mother, to show that they are one. And the father rejoices equally whether his daughter gets married or his son gets married, as if one body is attracted to the other as if it were its own part; there is no need that there are such great costs, such a waste of money, but it is still unbearable for him to see them celibate. Each of them individually is incomplete, as if some part of the body was taken away from him, and is not able to give birth to children or to properly organize a real life. That is why the prophet says: “there was an excellent spirit” (Mal. 2:15). And how do they become one flesh? It’s the same as if you separated the purest gold and mixed it with other gold - and here something similar happens: the wife accepts the fertile substance at the very moment when the heat of pleasure brings it, as it were, into a molten state, and, having received it, nourishes and warms it, brings to it what is needed, and from her side - and produces a person. And the child serves as a kind of bridge, so that here the three already make one flesh, because the child connects both sides to one another. Just as two cities separated by a river constitute one city if there is a bridge that maintains mutual communication between them - and here the same thing, or even more, since this bridge is built from the essence of both of them. In this respect, they are one in the same way as the head and torso constitute one body: they are, however, separated by the neck, but not so much separated as united; it is the middle that connects them to each other. It is the same as if a round dance, divided (into two parts), makes one, taking one part from here, and the other from the other side. Or else it is similar to how if people who stand with their hands down, then extend them, and yet everyone makes one person, because outstretched hands do not yet make two out of one (person). That is why he expressed himself precisely - he did not say: they will be one flesh, but “one body,” that is, they will be united into the flesh of a baby. What if there is no baby, and then they will not be two persons? Certainly. For this (unity) comes from copulation, which unites and confuses the bodies of both. It’s just like if you pour fragrant drops into oil, you’ll get one thing out of everything—it happens here too. 6. I know that many are ashamed of what I say; the reason for this is immoderation and intemperance. This matter is humiliated because marriages are performed in this way among us - because they are spoiled, while “Let marriage be honorable for all and the bed undefiled” (Heb. 13:4). What kind of shame is this - an honest thing? Why blush at something that is pure? This is characteristic only of heretics, and even those who bring dissolute women. That is why I want to cleanse (the marriage), elevate it to the degree of nobility that befits it, and thereby stop the heretics. The gift of God, the root of our being, has been disgraced! And all because there is a lot of manure and dirt near this root. Let's clean it out with our minds. Be patient a little, because even those who have dirt endure its stench. I want to show you that you don’t need to be ashamed of this, but you should be ashamed of what you do. Meanwhile, you don’t think of being ashamed of the latter, but are ashamed of the former, and thus condemn God, who arranged it this way. I will also say that this is a mysterious image of the Church. Christ came to the Church, came from it, and was united with it by spiritual communion. “Because I have betrothed you,” says (the apostle), “to one husband, a pure virgin” (2 Cor. 11:2). And that we come from Him, listen to how he speaks about this: we are all from his blessings and from his flesh (Eph. 5:30). Let us think about all this and not be ashamed of such a sacrament. Marriage is an image of how Christ is present (in the Church), and you get drunk? Tell me: if you saw the image of the king, would you be ashamed of him? Of course not. What happens with us during marriage seems to be a matter of indifference, and yet it serves as the cause of great evils. Everything here is a violation of the law. “Foul language,” says (the apostle), “and idle talk and ridicule” should not come from your mouth (Eph. 5:4). And all this (which is done at marriages) is foul language, and bad language, and blasphemy, and even to the highest degree, because it has become an art and brings great glory to those who practice it. Vices have become art! We will not somehow (unintentionally) fall into them, but with special diligence and skill; there is also a leader - the devil, who controls his army. Indeed, where there is drunkenness, where there is disorder, where there is foul language, the devil is certainly present, who adds something of his own. Tell me: do you feast with them, perform the sacrament of Christ and call on the devil? You probably consider me a difficult person. After all, it also happens from extreme corruption that if someone begins to admonish (others), he is subject to ridicule as a harsh person. Don’t you hear what Paul says: “Whatever you do, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Cor. 10:31)? But you, on the contrary, (do everything) to disgrace and disgrace. Do you not hear what the prophet says: “Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice [before Him] with trembling” (Ps. 2:11). And you completely forget yourself. Isn't it possible to have fun, but without harming yourself? Do you want to listen to pleasant songs? But it would be better not to listen. However, if you like, I yield to you; but listen not to satanic, but to spiritual (songs). If you want to see those rejoicing, look at the face of the angels. You say: how is it possible to see them? If you remove these (disturbances), then Christ himself will come to you for such a wedding celebration; and if Christ is present anywhere, there, of course, the face of angels appears. If you want, now He will perform a miracle, as then (in Cana of Galilee), and now He will transform water into wine, and what is even more amazing, He will stop immodest gaiety, curb cold passion and turn it to spiritual objects: this means making wine from water. But where the flute players are, there is absolutely no Christ; if He comes, He will first drive them out, and then perform a miracle. What could be more hateful than satanic luxury, where everything is somehow awkward, everything is useless, and if there is harmony in anything, then everything is vile, everything is disgusting. 7. There is nothing more pleasant than virtue; there is nothing sweeter than decency, nothing more attractive than modesty. If anyone starts arranging a marriage the way I say, he will see how pleasant it will be. Listen to how to arrange a marriage. First of all, look for a husband for the girl, a real husband and patron, - after all, you want to put your head to the body, because you want to give him not a slave, but your daughter. Don’t look for money, or nobility, or high birth - all this is unimportant - but look for goodwill, meekness, true prudence and the fear of God, if you want your daughter to enjoy living with him. If you (mother) look for something richer, you will not only not bring her any benefit, but you will also cause harm, because you will turn her from a free slave. She will not receive as much pleasure from gold jewelry as her slave position will cause her grief. No, you are not looking for this, but rather, look for an equal; if it is not possible, rather look for yourself to be poorer than richer, unless you want to give your daughter to the master, but want to give it to your husband. When you reliably find out about a person’s moral merits and decide to give, call on Christ to be present at this deed. He will not consider it humiliating for Himself if marriage mysteriously depicts His presence (in the Church). And here, most of all, ask Him to give you just such a groom. Don’t be worse than Abraham’s servant: although he was sent on such a long journey, he nevertheless knew where he needed to turn, and that’s why he found everything. And you, when you start to bother and look for a husband, pray; tell God: whomever You want, determine for me; entrust this matter to Him, and He will reward you for giving Him such an honor. Two rules must be followed here: entrust this matter to Him and look for the one He desires - modest and honest. So, you (mother), when you marry (daughter), do not go from house to house and do not take mirrors and dresses; after all, this is not done for show, and you are not taking your daughter to an exhibition; but having decorated the house with what you have, invite your neighbors, friends, and relatives. Call those who are known to you as people of meek disposition: ask them to be content with what they have. Let there not be a single musician, because with them there are unnecessary and empty costs. But first of all, call on Christ. Do you know how to call Him? “If anyone does anything,” He says, “to one of these... the least of these... do it to Me” (Matthew 25:40). Don’t think that calling the poor for Christ’s sake is an unpleasant thing. It's only unpleasant to call slutty women. Calling the poor leads to wealth, otherwise it leads to debauchery. Decorate the bride not with these gold jewelry, but with meekness, modesty and ordinary dresses - instead of any decoration and weaving, let her adornment be modesty, shyness and complete indifference to the first kind of jewelry. Let there not be the slightest noise or any alarm here. Let them call the groom, and he will take the girl. Lunches and dinners should not be replete with drunkenness, but with spiritual fun. From such a marriage there will be a lot of good and everyday affairs will be strengthened. And from current marriages (if only you can call them marriages and not a ceremony), look - how much evil is happening? Through them there is destruction in the dining rooms, now there is concern and fear, as if something was missing from the things taken for maintenance, and the fun is replaced by unbearable melancholy. This is torment for relatives, but it cannot be said that the bride is free from it; what follows after that all falls on the bride herself. Seeing how everything collapses is something to regret; look at the deserted houses - there is something to be despondent about. There is Christ, there is Satan; there is fun, and here are worries: there is pleasure, here is sadness; here there are costs, there there are no costs; here there is disorder, there there is decency; here envy, there cordiality; here is drunkenness, there is temperance, there is salvation, there is prudence. Let us think about all this and set a limit to evil, so that we may please God and be worthy to receive the benefits promised to those who love Him by the grace and love for mankind of our Lord Jesus Christ, with whom to the Father with the Holy Spirit be glory, power, honor, now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen. The paragraphs in the text were arranged by us. – Editorial staff of “ABC of Faith” You might be interested in: