Speech delivered at the Holy Synod by the rector of Sergius Hermitage, Archimandrite Ignatius, upon his naming as Bishop of the Caucasus and Black Sea, October 25, 1857

In these sacred and at the same time terrible moments for me, I involuntarily remember the words spoken by the Lord to His disciple: When you were young, you walked and you walked, even if you wanted to: when you are old, you will lift up your hands, and you will girdle and lead you, even if you did not want to 1 . In the days of my youth I longed for deep deserts. Behold, I ran away and settled in the desert: hoping for God to save me from cowardice, which exposes a person’s lack of grace-filled development, and from the storm of passions raised by the deceptive and perishable charms of the world 2 . I liked and like monasticism in itself! but I did not at all think about serving the Church in any kind of priesthood. To be the Bishop 3 of my heart and to sacrifice to Christ thoughts and feelings sanctified by the Spirit - this is the height to which my eyes were drawn. I did not enjoy the freedom of youth for long: I was soon girded and shackled by the incomprehensible Divine Providence. His almighty right hand, contrary to my assumption, suddenly snatched me from the wilderness of forests and deserts and placed me in the monastery of St. Sergius, on the shore of the sea, on the shore of the sea of ​​life, great and extensive 4 . It is difficult to test the ways of God! Only the Spirit of God tests the depths of God 5 . The holy teachers of monasticism, enlightened by the Spirit, assert that for novice monks, deep solitude is dangerous, in which they can conveniently fall into daydreaming and conceit, which they need, as a school and a medical clinic, human society. During many different encounters with neighbors, the monk’s passions are revealed, hidden from him in the secrets of his heart, and are healed by omnipotent medicine: the teaching of Christ 6 . Peering into the ailments of my soul, I recognized this situation as essential for me. But how can I explain to myself the calling with which you, the most sacred Fathers, are now calling me? What have you found in me, and what can I present to you, besides my many shortcomings? The rank of Bishop is terrible for me when I think about my weakness. I am afraid that, instead of edification, I might bring temptation to my brothers and prepare myself for greater condemnation at the judgment of Christ. I would consider it more faithful to my salvation and more consistent with my strength to spend the rest of my days, like the beginning of them, in the silence of the desert, in the contemplation of my sin. And again I am afraid!.. I am afraid of my will, so that, following it, I will not follow myself, instead of God, and thereby bring upon myself an unforeseen disaster 7 . It's crowded everywhere! 8 In my bewilderment, I deny myself, betraying both my temporary and eternal fate into the hand of my God. Bound by your election and the command of the Most August Anointed of God, with humility and trembling I bow my head under a burden that can crush the unworthy. Do not cease to strengthen me with your edifications! Do not reject when, at the behest of the Holy Spirit, I come to you for a word of reason, for a soul-saving word. The Holy Spirit commanded: ask your father, and your elders will tell you, and tell you 9. Extending your hands to me in order to clothe me with the great rank of the Hierarchy, stretch them out in prayer for me to God, who reveals His power in human weakness. As for me, in this terrible hour for me, I am looking for peace of my conscience, and I find it in unconditional devotion to the will of God, in awareness and confession to you of the abundance of my infirmities. ...when you were young, you girded yourself and went where you wanted; and when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and lead you where you do not want (John 21:18). “...I would go far and remain in the desert; I would hasten to hide from the whirlwind, from the storm” (Ps. 55:8:9). This expression is borrowed from St. John Climacus. Word 28, ch. 51. M.. 1851. Isaac of Syria Word 55; St. Barsanuphius the Great answers 2, 108, 311, 342 and others; St. John Climacus Homily 4, ch. 35, 36, 74, Homily 28, ch. 1; Venerable Nile of Sora Sermon 11. Venerable Abba Dorotheos. Lesson 5. ...I am crowded everywhere (Dan. 13:22). ...ask your father, and he will tell you, your elders, and they will tell you (Deut. 23:7).