О браке

Happiness is based on the fear of God Congratulations on your newlyweds, and N on your new wife. I sincerely wish them mutual marital union and peace, and you the consolation of their humility and due respect and respect, which befits parents from prudent and obedient children. All three of you, you must always remember and not forget that only then will your life pass peacefully and prosperously when we do not forget and forget God, our Creator and Redeemer and Giver of temporal and eternal blessings. Not to forget Him means to try to live according to His Divine and life-giving commandments, and in violation of them, due to our weakness, to sincerely repent and immediately take care of correcting our mistakes and deviations from God’s commandments. May the All-merciful Lord strengthen us on His saving path! We must endure family hardships as our voluntarily chosen lot. Second thoughts here are more harmful than useful. The only saving thing is to pray to God for ourselves and for our family, that He may do good for us according to His holy will. From the bottom of my heart I wish you everything that you expressed in your short note regarding a true understanding of affairs and meek treatment of others, and complacent enduring of sorrows, and prudent reflection of human intrigues and the machinations of the primordial enemy. Remember the prophet king David, who, with the help of God, having gone through similar circumstances, wrote this: “Having endured the Lord, and heeded me, and heard my prayer, and raised me from the pit of passions and from the clay of the (sinful) mud, and set me on the stones (of God’s commandments) on my nose, and straightened my steps, and put in my mouth a new song, singing Our God" (Ps 39:1-4). It is impossible to live without collisions You are writing to me about an incident that made an unpleasant impression on all of you. What to do? The ancient people decided long ago that you cannot live a century without a parable, and they added that even pot collides with pot, especially since it is impossible for people living together to live without collision. And this especially happens from different views on things: one thinks about the course of affairs one way, and another another, one is convinced of his concepts, which seem solid and solid to him, and the other believes in his understanding. If in the original rule of arithmetic one and one are added, then the result is two, but if in the third rule two is multiplied by two, then the result is four; if it comes to fractions, then there will be numbers at the top and bottom, and in the middle of them there is a line: this also happens in human affairs. If they are very fragmented, then there will be inconvenience both above and below, with some kind of obstacle in the middle. As I wrote and told you before, so I will say now: if you believe in God’s Providence and hope in God’s all-powerful help, then you will not encounter any inconvenience and you will always enjoy possible peace of mind. When you worry about something that cannot happen (because assumptions are mostly incorrect and erroneous), then you will only worry yourself in vain. You wonder if they suddenly turned you down. From the letters I receive, I don’t see a hint about this and I don’t think that they would do this to you, unless due to some special unforeseen circumstances. You never know what people suggest: it’s not always taken into account.... And I advise you to stick to the golden mean in dealing with juniors and seniors, trying not to insist on your own and do, according to your duty, what is possible according to considerations, guided by the fear of God and your conscience. Calling upon you the peace and blessing of God, I remain with sincere good wishes for everything that is beneficial to you, but you must endure external inconveniences. You expected peace of mind, but you got grief. What to do? Do not be discouraged, but console yourself with the thought that you are no better than the holy King David, who throughout his life endured family disorders and sorrows, not a hundred times more than you. I won’t describe everything, but I’ll just say that his son Absalom decided to overthrow his father from the royal throne and made an attempt on his life. But Saint David sincerely humbled himself before the Lord and before people, not rejecting the annoying reproaches from Shimei, but realizing his guilt before God, humbly told others that the Lord commanded Shimei to curse David. For such humility, the Lord not only showed him mercy, but also returned the kingdom. We must be prudent, that is, we must first of all care about receiving God’s mercy and eternal salvation, and not about returning the former kingdom, that is, temporary blessings that fell and are falling from the weakened hands of the son. However, the Lord is able to correct him too, if only he wants to bow under the strong hand of God. We need to humbly and with faith pray to God about this, so that he and us can be enlightened. Regarding N, our words were conveyed correctly that O.A. advised you to put her in a monastery in order to keep her from trying to return to her parents’ home for a well-known reason. Thank God that N stayed to live with her husband, although in need; but contentment and abundance spoil people. Fat, as the proverb goes, makes animals go crazy. N tells you that divorce between spouses is prohibited by the Lord Jesus Christ. We read the Lord’s own words: “But I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for the guilt of fornication, gives her cause to commit adultery” (Matthew 5:32). From this, everyone can see that divorce is not unconditionally prohibited by the Lord. If spouses are faithful to each other, then they should not divorce; Otherwise, it is inconvenient to bind spouses. This rule is followed by the Holy Church... You write that your husband sent you away, and you, not having the real refuge that you would like, grieve why you decided to resort to God and ask Him, based on the words of the Gospel: “Ask, and it will be given to you” (Matthew 7:7). And so, ask, and ask unconditionally and patiently, and you will receive. Be prudent in asking what you ask for. He said: “Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all this (that is, temporary, vital) will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). He teaches us to ask like this: “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done” (Matthew 6:10) and “you will enter through the narrow gate into the Kingdom of Heaven” (Matthew 7:13). And the holy Apostle James says: “Do not ask, do not ask; you ask and do not receive; you ask evilly, so that you may depend on your sweets” (James 4:2-3). So, ask the Lord for patience - and He will give you and strengthen you on the path that leads to the Heavenly Kingdom. He says: “I am the way and the truth” (John 14:6). You don’t know God’s intentions for yourself, so pray: may His Holy will be done over you, on which humbly place your trust and hope. Pray to God about your drunkard husband Your husband is overly devoted to drinking wine, and you treat him cruelly, hitting him when he is drunk. You won't knock anything out by fighting, but you'll only annoy him worse. And you better pray with faith and zeal for him to Saint John the Baptist of the Lord and the martyr Boniface, so that the All-Good Lord, for the prayers of his saints, would turn him away from the path of destruction and return him to the path of a sober abstinent life. Marriage between relatives You ask about the marriage of a nephew and niece on relatives, saying that it is now allowed. What's the point if they allow it? There is no marital happiness for this; Yes, and it affects children with incurable pain, and therefore I cannot advise deciding on such marriages. A Catholic married to an Orthodox woman If you agree to accept the truth of Orthodoxy, then you should accept it without any conditions, as the truth. And you write: “I am ready to fulfill my wife’s wishes, but only if, having sacrificed my conviction, I see her in full health.” To this I will tell you that this condition is very inappropriate, because your wife’s illness may have been your own fault: either you did not honor holidays in your marital relationship, or you did not observe marital fidelity, for which you are punished by your wife’s illness, since it is pleasant for a husband to always have a healthy wife. If you try to sincerely correct your life and sincerely accept the truth of the Orthodox confession, then the Lord is strong to restore health to your wife, if only this will be useful to both of you. The all-merciful Lord always arranges only what is useful, soul-saving and saving. The Lord speaks about Himself in the Gospel: “I am the way and the truth and the life” (John 14:6). Pray sincerely and with faith to the All-Good Lord to lead you to the true path of salvation. You might be interested in: