Слово во вторник недели 1-й Великого поста

Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me! Doesn’t it seem to anyone, my brethren, that the Holy Church in these days too often and repeatedly fills our ears with this touching appeal? If a similar thought occurred to anyone, let him take the trouble to review with us, albeit briefly, our entire human life from its beginning to the end. Perhaps what now seems too much in the church, the same thing will no longer seem superfluous at home, and not only during fasting and repentance, but also on other days, among the festivities itself, will come to mind by itself and from time to time burst out from the very lips. For this, let us ascend, firstly, to the very beginning of our existence on earth. What's there? – Darkness and impurity, lust and passions. “I was conceived in iniquity, and my mother gave birth to me in sins,” St. David cries for all of us (Ps. 50:7). Conceived in lawlessness, I myself am therefore lawless; born in sin, I myself am therefore a sinner. And wasn’t this what the illnesses of my birth meant? Why did both the giving birth and the child suffer if there was no guilt or impurity? Isn’t this what my cry at birth expressed? What was crying out to me then? Not reason, not memory, not imagination - my whole nature cried out. What was she embarrassed about and what did she suffer from? From internal inborn disorder, impurity and guilt. My first cry was addressed not to the earth, but to heaven—to You, Giver of Life, Who formed me in my mother’s womb, and Who alone could recreate me outside my mother’s womb. Imagining all this now in my mind, delving into the image of my appearance into the world, I still lower my face, I am ashamed of the uncleanness of my origin, I am afraid of the inheritance that I brought, and I cry out: “Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me!” Be merciful to the poor creature, which was born with all the impurities of its fathers and forefathers, which, instead of an inheritance, brought with it a terrible inclination towards evil, which had and will continue to struggle with many sorrows, temptations and temptations! “Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me!” After the first birth from flesh and blood, another, higher and better birth followed - the birth from the Spirit. Despite my uncleanness and insensibility, immediately after my birth, the Holy Church accepted me into her arms; washed away the filth of my nature in the baptismal font; sanctified by the grace of the Spirit; sealed with the sign of the cross; clothed in the white robe of innocence. From a child of wrath I became a child of Grace. But where are these royal vestments now? Where are the gifts? poured out on me? Alas, I too, like Solomon’s bride, must say: “I have made me a guard in the vineyards; I have not kept my grapes!” ( Song 1:5 ). I did not retain the grace of Baptism, I did not remain faithful to the One with whom I was united! Desecrated the white robe of innocence! Lost grace and Spirit! One thing the world took; another was stolen by passions; something was lost due to negligence and carelessness; I am all like a man who has fallen into the hands of robbers: from head to toe there is no wholeness in me. Who should I turn to for help, except You, my all-good Creator and all-powerful Provider? “Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me!” “I have gone astray, like a lost sheep: seek Thy servant!” (Ps. 119:176). “Bring my soul out of prison, to confess to Your name”! (Ps. 141:8). “Create a pure heart in me, O God, and renew a right spirit in my womb”! (Ps. 50:12). After the years of my unreasonable infancy, about which the very first sage could not help but say to the Lord with David: “You have cattle” (Ps. 73:22), - came the years of adolescence and youth. The most precious time, in which a person, with the revelation of his mind and will, one might say, is given the opportunity to be, in a sense, the creator of his spiritual existence. At this time, I, too, like to my ancestors, I was in the paradise of innocence, and before me was the tree of life with the promise and the tree of death with the commandment. I could not stretch out my hands to the forbidden fruit; I had the power to remain on the path of truth and integrity. Everything held me back: the grace of Baptism, and the voice of conscience, and my parents, and my teachers; Creator and Benefactor; and for me the tree of death seemed “good... for food,... pleasing to the eye, and red... to understand” (Gen. 3:6), and I, a hundred times more foolish than my ancestors, for I had their experience before me - and I, unfortunate one, tasted the “boldly bitter food”, 1 - and lost paradise. Oh, my brothers, who would not wish for the days of his youth to return, those precious days when it was up to us to take the path of the Lord, or to deviate into the paths of sin and worldly vanity? But these days will not return; and each of us, remembering them, can only exclaim from the depths of our souls: “Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me!” “The sin of my youth, and do not remember my ignorance... Remember me... for the sake of goodness, Thy only goodness” (Ps. 24:7). The time of courage and mature years has come: we have entered into various ties of family, friendship, acquaintance, have entered the path of public service, have taken on various responsibilities; many of us have sworn an oath that we will be faithful to the truth, steadfast guardians of the truth for ourselves and for others. What should be expected from us after this? We should expect a firm and unwavering fulfillment of our duties, a courageous struggle against vice in all its forms, a prudent use of the gifts of happiness to whom they are sent, and a generous enduring of the blows of misfortune to whom they befall, that we will always be ready for every good deed, removed from all lies and untruths, we will be self-controlled and strict with ourselves, generous and merciful to our neighbors, meek, sincere and loving towards everyone and everyone, unforgetfully malicious towards the enemies themselves. But, my brothers, tell me for yourself, how many can boast of these qualities? Who, taking the most superficial glance at his duties, will not say: oh, I did not and do not fulfill them as I should! At the holy altar, I do not stand with that purity and reverence that befits the servants of the Most High God; in court - I do not preserve truth and truth with the selflessness that the fate of my brethren on trial requires; in the sanctuary of sciences - I value not so much the truth as the vain glory of my name and am often ready to defend a lie that is pleasant to me; in buying and selling I am selfish, in dominion I am cruel and capricious, in low life I am cunning and obstinate. How much time has been lost and is dying in vain! How many God-given talents have been ruined and wasted! Many times I have decided to do good, and to this day I do bad. I see that I’m going the wrong way, but I’m going incessantly. And when will this ill-fated struggle of conscience with passions end in me? Where is the end of my mental captivity and slavery? Almighty Creator, my prayer to You! Have mercy on Your poor creation! Give me the strength to break the bonds of sinful habits and passions! Turn away my eyes, so as not to see vanity! Touch the sin-loving heart, let it stop beating for dust and decay! “Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me!” Save me from myself! The years of old age will also come: my body will weaken, my feelings will close one after another; and the now flattering world itself will begin to run away from me. But will all this turn me to God and eternity? Will I use even this miserable remainder of my life for good deeds? Will not the same lusts and the same passions divide him among themselves? Oh, how many old men, who seem to grow younger with age in anger and love for the world! How many are standing at the door of the tomb and looking back! Will I be like them? Will my last years and days not pass in vanity and blindness, as do many? Merciful Lord, do not let me fall into this terrible blindness! Spare me from this hellish insensibility! “Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me!” Following the infirmities, the last illness will finally come; We will lie down on a bed from which we will no longer rise: the doctor will retreat, the priest will approach, relatives and associates will surround our bed and will await our death. At this terrible hour, in the midst of the last languor of body and spirit, in the midst of the utter confusion of thoughts and feelings, what voice would you, my brothers, wish to come out of your mouth? “I wouldn’t want anything else for myself other than: “Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me!” Have mercy on the sinner whose life has disappeared in vanity and sins! Show the last sign of mercy and grant that I may emerge from the prison of my flesh with the feeling of a thief who repented on the cross! Finally, the hour of a general worldwide awakening from the sleep of death will strike: it will be necessary to rise from the womb of the earth, put on a new and indestructible body, and, together with one’s deeds, appear at the Last Judgment to hear the sentence upon oneself for all eternity. Then, in the midst of heaven and hell, between Angels and rejected spirits, what will you feel, my poor soul? Will you not cry out for the last time: “Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me!” Yes, my brothers, at the Last World Judgment of God, not before, this is the end of this repentant prayer: it will stop when the fate of each of us is forever decided in the face of the universe. After this there will be no place for her. In paradise, the righteous will have only one joy and one eternal praise of the name of God. In hell, for sinners there is only a cry of despair and gnashing of teeth. Which of these fates awaits us? - The Lord is the only one who knows. But if we remain as we are; if we die in our sins, then it is clear where our part is and with whom our lot is. Let us cry to the Lord God from the depths of our souls, each and every one: have mercy on us! Grant us all repentance before the end! Amen. From the Great Canon of Andrew of Crete, on Monday of the first week of Great Lent – Editorial “The ABC of Faith” You might be interested in: