Слово третье в неделю 5-ю Великого поста

We are already beginning the sixth week of Lent, my brothers! This is how time flows! - Fasting can no more restrain its speed than the brightest festivals. And some of us are still bored by the length of time, and do not know what to use it for: so far can a person’s oblivion of the purpose of his existence extend! He who remembers why life was given to him and what will be required of him beyond the grave will never be burdened by the length of time: every hour is precious to him; for he knows that he must act and work for eternity. Everyone will recognize this; but when? On the deathbed; here the most absent-minded finally feels the value of time; sees how short earthly life is; would like to continue it; I am ready to give everything else for that: but the hour of death is inevitable - and the unfortunate peace-lover admires forever from that field, which is given only once and, destroyed, will never return. Can you imagine, my brothers, what awaits such people in eternity! To prevent this misfortune, the Holy Church constantly fills our ears with all the voices of the prophets and apostles, in order to awaken us from sleep and mental insensibility. It is for this purpose that we, my brothers, often raise our weak voice before you. Perhaps, we think, coming before you with the word of life and salvation, perhaps in the present congregation there is a soul who will hear it for the first time, and will not only hear it, but will also turn it into the work of his salvation: perhaps some sinner, having heard from our lips the voice of God’s mercy, will come to his senses, stop on the path to hell, and the Lord will forgive us for this at least some part of our own sins. For it is not in vain that it is said: “having converted a sinner from error... his soul will be saved from death, and will cover a multitude of sins” (James 5:20). With this in mind, you, my brothers, do not fail to assist us not only with your attention, but also with your prayers for us: for if we, in our spiritual weakness, can be useful to you in any way, then only by faithfulness to the grace of the Lord, who has chosen us to serve your salvation. The present day of Sunday, as we noted in one of our previous conversations, is dedicated by the Church, among other things, to honoring the memory of the Venerable Mary of Egypt. And truly, if the memory of this wondrous woman is timely, then in these days of fasting and repentance: for nothing can serve as an instruction and a consolation for sinners as her life and exploits. It is known that the sinner is most confused at the time when he begins to repent. It is confusing, firstly, to think about the severity of one’s sins; secondly, a feeling of an addiction to sin and the difficulty of fighting it. But then a sinner, of whom the most sin-loving world sees few and is always accompanied by contempt, suddenly breaks all the bonds of sin that lay on her, begins a holy and ascetic life, is awarded the extraordinary gifts of God’s grace and ascends through repentance to such a height of spirit that she becomes like the disembodied Angels. Who after this can despair of his salvation? In order for the image of Mary’s repentance to be more vividly imprinted in our soul, let us repeat, my brethren, briefly the entire life of the saint, as it was outlined for us by Saint Sophronius, Patriarch of Jerusalem. Born in Egypt, Mary had the misfortune from a young age to fall into the abyss of carnal impurity. The reason for this was her special physical beauty - this gift of God, a remnant of the heavenly beauty of our nature, but which now rarely does not turn into the first reason for sin. Debauchery began with what it most begins with in youth - with disobedience to one’s parents, which reached the point where one soon left the parental home forever. After this, there was nothing to expect from a fifteen-year-old girl except sin and temptation. And Mary, falling lower and lower along the ladder of debauchery, soon appeared at the very last step. Everything that passions and the devil can do from a person, all that was done from the unfortunate woman. And about seventeen years were spent in such a terrible state. “It seemed there was no longer any hope of correction. But He who leaves the ninety-nine sheep and searches for the one lost one, did not abandon the unfortunate sinner even now, and with His wisdom turned to her salvation that very thing that seemed the height of destruction. Catching all possible opportunities to satisfy her passion, Mary noticed that one ship filled with young people was leaving for Jerusalem to worship the Cross of Christ. The devil immediately put into his heart the idea of ​​using this opportunity for his passion; - and now the ill-fated one sails to Jerusalem, polluting the sea with her deeds, just as she polluted the land before. Neither a glance at the holy city, nor the sight of Golgotha ​​and the Holy Sepulcher could stop the habit of sin; Mary continues to destroy herself and others in Jerusalem. But this was already the last victim of hell. When the day of the solemn veneration of the Cross of Christ arrived, Mary, together with others, wished to enter the church, but no matter how close she approached its gates, each time she was carried away by the excitement of the crowd of people. At first it seemed like a matter of chance and aroused new efforts to push into the church with others: but when, on the one hand, all efforts remained in vain, and on the other, it became noticeable that this failure was pursuing only her alone of all; Then Mary’s conscience finally awakened: like lightning, the thought penetrated her whole being that it was not people, but the finger of God and her sins that were tearing her away from the Holy Place. In contrition of heart, Mary lifts her eyes to grief and sees before her on the church wall the holy icon of the Mother of God. It was like a phenomenon from heaven for her. “Mother of God,” the sinner exclaims with tears, “I know all my uncleanness; I know that for my grave sins my place is not in the church, but in hell, but look, O All-Good One, at my repentance, and be my Intercessor and Helper before God, Your Son: from now on, my whole life will belong to Him and You!” After this prayer, Mary again strives for the church gates; and despite the previous, even larger crowds of people, he enters the church without restrictions and worships the Cross of Christ. This visible mercy fills her soul with new tenderness and gratitude to God. Returning to the church gates, she again prostrates herself before the icon of the Mother of God; again pronounces a vow of purity and repentance; for the second time he chooses Her as the Helper of salvation: - and having received admonition from above to go beyond the Jordan into the desert - he leaves the world and everything human forever. I say: “and everything human”; for Mary, imprisoned in the Jordanian desert, not only trampled upon all her former luxury and delicacy, not only rejected satisfaction of the most necessary needs of flesh and blood; but she ascended, one might say, above human nature itself. During her entire stay in the desert, she had no shelter, no clothing, no food. The three small loaves she took from Jerusalem became her - how much do you think? For sixteen years! Then the food for her was not so much the desert potion, but prayer and the grace of God. And fourty-seven years were spent among such feats! You can imagine, brothers, what such a life cost a body accustomed to bliss and sensuality! Let us listen to how the monk herself told the holy elder Zosima about this. “The speech of Zosima to the venerable one: “How many years have you, O my lady, since you were born in this desert?” She answered: “I remember that I was fourty and seven years old when I died from the holy city.” Zosima said to her: “What do you get for food, my lady?” She said: “I brought half a third of the bread, having passed over the Jordan, which little by little dried up and turned to stone; Zosima said: “How did you spend so much of the summer without water; Is it possible that sudden weakness will cause no harm? She answered: “You asked me about your speech today, Abvo Zosimo, and I tremble about it when I say: if I remember all the misfortunes that I have suffered, and the cruel thoughts that I have brought upon me, I am afraid that I will be offended in the same way. I believed in them, Abvo, for sixty (sixteen) years we lived in this desert, as if we were fighting with fierce beasts, fighting with my insane lusts: when we first began to eat food, we longed for meat and fish, just as we had in Egypt, but we also wanted wine, which I loved: we drank a lot of wine, and when we ran away the world; Here, having no water to taste, I was burned with fierce thirst and suffered in poverty. There was also a desire for lustful songs, which greatly outraged me, and forced me to sing demonic songs, which Beh had become accustomed to in the world: Abi, weeping and beating their hearts with faith, remembering the vows that Beh made when entering this desert. My thoughts went to the icon of the Most Pure Mother of God, my Helper, and I cried at Toya, asking him to drive away the thoughts from me that were tormenting my accursed soul. When I cried enough and beat hard in my heart: then I saw the light shining everywhere and there was great silence in the storm where I was. How can you, Abvo, confess my thoughts that have caused me to sin? It’s like the fire in my damned heart has flared up and scorched me all over, forcing me to sin. When such a thought came to me, they threw me to the ground, and shed many tears, imagining that the Spoiler herself was standing and torturing me as if I had transgressed, and showing me the torment for the crime. I did not rise from my earthly overthrow night and day, until this sweet light shone upon me and the thoughts that troubled me were driven away. Constantly raise my eyes to my Handmaiden, asking for help from Her; as indeed I had a Helper and a Companion to repentance. And so I died for seventeen (seventeen) years, accepting the darkness of troubles: from then until this day, my helper, the Mother of God, guides me in everything and in everything.” Zosima said to her: “Didn’t you already demand food and clothing?” She answered: “Having finished the bread, as it was in seventy years, they fed on the things that were in this wilderness. The robe that I had, having passed over the Jordan, has decayed from old age. I suffered a lot from the winter and suffered from the heat, burning in the sun and freezing and shaking from the frost. In the same way, she fell to the ground many times, lying as if soulless and motionless. Many times we struggled with various misfortunes and troubles. From then on to this day, the manifold power of God has preserved my sinful soul and despondent body: thinking thus, the Lord deliver me from all the evil I have, for I have gained the inestimable food - the hope of my salvation. I am nourished and covered with the word of God, which contains all things. For man will not live on bread alone. And the virgins have no cover, but have clothed themselves in stone, since they have taken off their sinful garments.” Having heard Zosima, who remembers words from the scriptures, from Moses and the prophet and from the books of psalms, he spoke to her: “Have you studied the psalm and other books, O lady?” Hearing this, she grinned and said to him: “Believe, O man, I have not seen another man, but the Jordan has passed away, except for your face today, and lower than the beast, I have seen no other animal: I have never studied books, nor have I heard anyone reading or singing, but the word of God is living and effectively teaches the mind of man. Now I conjure you, by the incarnation of the word of God, to pray for me, a harlot." After such and such long-term feats, perfect purification of soul and body, perfect peace with God and conscience, perfect victory over the weaknesses of human nature, perfect approach to the primitive perfection of man in a state of innocence and fellowship with the spiritual and Divine world could not but follow. And indeed, Saint Zosima, who was granted by God's Providence the honor of discovering the venerable ascetic in the desert and officiating at her burial, found her no longer a man, but an angel. Mary was still clothed with flesh; but this flesh looked more like a spirit than like our body: it crossed the Jordan without getting wet; during prayer she ascended from the ground into the air; I could not eat almost anything except the Body and Blood of Christ. The most secret movements of the heart in Zosima were open to the saint: she talked to him from the Holy Scriptures, from psalms and prophecies, without ever reading Scripture and not knowing how to read at all; knew everything that was happening in his monastery; predicted what would happen in the future. The very animals of the desert were in awe of the face of the saint: throughout her life they did not dare to approach her; and after her death, they dug a grave for her and helped the weak old man to bury her holy relics. Judge now for yourselves, my brethren, is it not fitting that such a life as that of the Venerable Mary is indicated by the Church to all sinners during these days of fasting and repentance? Where more clearly than in this life can one see that there is no sin that conquers God’s love for mankind, that there is no abyss of depravity from which, with the help of God’s grace, it would be impossible to emerge through the path of faith and repentance, that it is possible, and starting late, not only to equal, but also to surpass in perfection even those who worked in the heliport of the Lord from the first hour? If only, - one of the sinners would think, - I too had such a calling from above as Mary! And Mary, beloved, what was her special title at first? Why, because of the crowd of people, she could not enter the Temple of Jerusalem with others? Oh, how many of us would not pay the slightest attention to this, and would calmly, perhaps even happily, go home! Mary's conscience made this sign, if you like to call it that, important and decisive for her. Let us be attentive to ourselves, and in our lives we will find many similar things, perhaps even more significant, for we can say affirmatively that there is not a single sinner who has not had such cases in his life where the grace of God apparently called him to repentance; but our constant dispersion and hardening in sin make all this fruitless for us. No matter what happens to us like this, we have one judgment: it’s a “case”! As if all the most so-called cases were not in the right hand of the Lord! And as if on the part of our Savior any case for the salvation of a poor sinner could be ignored! Therefore, whenever and wherever the thought comes to you to give up sin, to give up a depraved life: be firmly convinced that this soul-saving thought is directly from God; for how else would it have visited your gloomy soul if it had not been sent from above? Accept this thought; follow where she calls you: leave the disastrous path of sin: and the goodness of God, which appears even to those who do not seek it, will all the more not hesitate to appear to you when it sees that you have begun to seek your salvation; He will illuminate your soul with the light of His Face; will show you the path you should follow; He will strengthen you in weakness, comfort you in sorrow, reward you for all earthly hardships, and scatter for you on the narrow and thorny path to the Kingdom so many guarantees of His love that even while you suffer, you will rejoice and will not exchange your new, terrible state for peace-loving people, for any good in the world. What should I do, having heeded the call from above, - another sinful soul will ask: - should I, like Mary, leave everything and go into the desert? Do this too if it were necessary, for you would certainly give everything for your salvation if robbers took your bodily life. And passions, these enemies, the worst of all robbers, take away your spiritual, eternal life - and you will calculate what to sacrifice for its salvation and what to leave behind? Is this how they care about their salvation? Do you really value your soul, but the whole world is not worthy of it? But for the majority of repentant sinners there is no need to leave their completely worldly state. Having suddenly stepped onto such a high, steep and slippery staircase, we, due to the weakness of our feet, could not walk along it comfortably. Therefore, repentant soul, for the first time the desert that will open within you will be sufficient for you, as soon as you bring into your interior the light of the word of God; The desert that this same world has created for you, surrounding you and caressing you, is enough, as long as you reject it internally. The path of Mary is an extraordinary path, which is why she achieved the perfection of equal angels: for us, sinful souls, it will be enough if we cease to resemble evil spirits through bitterness and unrepentance, return to ourselves the pure image of humanity, destroyed in sins, and become worthy to enter in time, albeit the last, into the same blissful Kingdom of God, where the souls of repentant sinners live and bliss. Amen. You might be interested in: