Слово в четверток недели 5-й Великого поста

“Lord, who sent down Thy Most Holy Spirit at the third hour by Thy Apostle, do not take Him away from us, O Good One, but renew us who pray. But aren’t we asking too much from the Lord in this prayer? The apostles were faced with a struggle with the whole world, with princes and rulers, with the very rulers of the darkness of this age; they had to go against thousands of errors and prejudices, against the darkness of dangers, torments and deaths: therefore they needed to be endowed with power from above; they required not only fiery tongues, but even more fiery souls and hearts. And what awaits us? The struggle is mainly with your own heart, the battle with your passions and lusts, the need to stand against some only opinions and false rules of the world. Isn’t it therefore enough for us to confine ourselves to our own strengths, and not to disturb, so to speak, in vain the grace of the Holy Spirit, especially since, on the apostles, in the purity of their own spirit, it was easy and pleasant for the Holy Spirit to descend, and in us, unclean and carnal, how can His most pure grace dwell? Let us acknowledge, brethren, with humility our own unworthiness: in comparison with such chosen vessels of grace as the apostles of Christ, we are all like small night lamps before the stars shining in the firmament of heaven. But it is impossible for us to renounce prayer for the grace of the Spirit due to our very weakness. On the contrary, if the weakest also need the strongest help, then we not only have the right, but also the necessity to ask for it. However, the feat that lies ahead of us, although in appearance it is small and insignificant, in comparison with the feat of the apostles; but in its essence it is also impossible for us to pass it successfully without help from above. True, the apostles had to fight with the whole world, and we with our one heart: but look more closely into this one heart - here is the whole world, not only with all its temptations, but also with all the malice, with all the stubbornness. What is missing from this sin-loving heart of ours? – Idols and idols? - A hundred times more than in any pagan temple. There is here both an idol of worldly pride and an idol of carnal lust; there is here both an idol of warfare and enmity, and an idol of the love of money. The only difference is that in the idol’s church these idols and idols stand soulless and motionless, they have eyes but cannot see, hands cannot touch them, but in our hearts all these idols are filled with strength and movement. As long as we fall before them and burn incense to them, they are silent: but touch them, you will discover the intention to crush them, even to move them only from their place: and from each thunder and lightning will fly, so that, not strengthened by grace, you will fall to the dust. After this, how can someone who wants to fight with his heart and with its idols not call on the Spirit of God for help, that Spirit who alone can create a pure heart and renew a right spirit in our womb? The apostles had, in the midst of their preaching, to give answers before the princes and rulers. When you begin the work of repentance and your salvation, perhaps princes and rulers will not ask you; but how many answers you will have to give not to princes and rulers! At all the so-called, large or small, lights of the court or assembly, you must stand - in person or in absentia - but stand as a defendant and guilty. In one meeting they will report that you have become a hypocrite and a hypocrite and have various secret views; in another, that you have fallen into melancholy and are close to mental insanity; at the most lenient level, they will declare it a secret that something strange and regrettable is beginning to happen to you. This is how strangers will judge: from those closest to you and at home you will hear more than once: what’s wrong with you? Are you healthy? Is there anything that worries you? Are you offended by something? And do you think that you will satisfy and calm everyone when you say that you are busy with the work of your salvation, that you are sad for God? Alas, no one knows this language well! For these very words they will raise even more suspicions against you; and you more than once, or, better said, every time, not knowing what to say and how to reason with others about you, you will involuntarily turn to the One who taught the apostles, so that he may instruct you: what is appropriate to do and say. For their preaching, the apostles faced danger everywhere, threatened with persecution and tormentors. You, who are beginning the work of salvation, will not be tormented, apparently: but instead of the fact that those who were tormented suffered for several days, others for several hours, your suffering will continue throughout your life. The world you left will never leave you alone. Since you will not go the way that almost everyone goes, but the opposite; then everyone you meet on the way will consider you lost and will nod your head. Your best actions will seem like an insult to many, because they will interfere with their actions. And how much grief, obvious and secret, is in store for you from here! How many slander, big and small! Your very humility and patience will serve as a reason for some to despise and insult you. And if you, as a person, sin in anything, then even your small sin will be considered an unforgivable crime. All this, taken separately, is not so great and important; but in its complexity, such a cross will be formed from this that you will more than once fall under it and look for Simon of Cyrene for help; and woe to you if the grace of the Comforter Spirit does not appear with the help, which alone can strengthen you and sweeten the sorrow of your situation. And all this, however, is not the last struggle and not the last cross. The essence of the matter is to change your heart, to make a spiritual heart from a carnal heart, to drive out the spirit of self-love from it, to kill lust in it, to return to it the purity with which it came from the hands of God, and without which it is impossible for us to appear before the face of God. But who can do this? We ourselves absolutely cannot. For here one must be above oneself, become alien to oneself, be both a priest and a victim. For this, a higher, divine power is needed, the power of the Holy Spirit, who, as the beginning of life, alone can penetrate into all the depths of our spirit, into all the bends of the heart, in order to cleanse, correct and sanctify everything. Let us cry, beloved, let us cry together with the Church: “Lord, Who sent down Thy Most Holy Spirit at the third hour by Thy Apostle, do not take Him away from us, O Good One, but renew us who pray!” Amen. You might be interested in: