VIII. Уроки и наставления старца Амвросия сестрам обители. – Влияние и прозорливость Старца

Father understood service to humanity not in an abstract sense, but in active participation in every person. He embodied two great ideals: renunciation of the world and service to humanity, proving to the whole world that one does not exclude the other. The Elder placed all external monastic feats, prayer and purification of the heart highly, but at the same time he demanded more from his spiritual children that they, first of all, be ready to sacrifice themselves, that they put the benefit of their neighbor above their own, that they think about themselves as modestly as possible, without being carried away by their imaginary righteousness. “Father understood service to humanity not in an abstract sense, but in active participation in every person.” The house-cell in which Elder Ambrose lived and reposed “There was no such sorrow, there was no such temptation that the gracious Elder could not remove from everyone’s soul.” “It’s better not to do something and reproach yourself in the depths of your soul for the malfunction,” the Elder used to say, than to do everything and think that you did well.” Sometimes Father, noticing in someone a tendency towards formalism and literal fulfillment of his rules and duties, would force him to break something, saying that it would be better for him to remain broken. In the same way, he inspired the weak and infirm with the fact that God does not require feats beyond physical strength and that our contrite heart is more pleasing to Him, why we should never be embarrassed that we did not have to fast like others, or are not able to endure all the long services, or cannot work in the monastery. “If you can’t,” Father used to say, stand for the entire service, sit, but don’t leave the church; If you are unable to keep the fast, eat and willy-nilly humble yourself and will not judge others.” Those who, due to a painful condition, could not bear obedience and grieved about this, Father consoled, saying: “Thank God for the fact that you live in the monastery, and this is the mercy of God; “But I don’t do anything, but just lie,” the loving father will add to encourage them. So he was wise and condescending to the weak, and on the other hand, he demanded strong coercion from the healthy. He said that laziness and weakness are so strongly intertwined in a person that it can be very difficult to discern where laziness ends and weakness begins, and that it is very easy to mistake the first for the second. He exhorted people to go to church services unforgivingly, saying: “The scripture says I will sing to my God until I am, and I will offer my prayers to the Lord before all His people. Whoever forces himself to go to the church of God, the Lord vouchsafes him with His special mercy. Whoever does not fulfill his monastic rules and pentahundreds out of laziness will bitterly regret it when he dies. For us leaving the rule, the Lord leaves our soul.” He also did not order self-inflicted feats to be imposed on himself. One sister began to pray for a long time at night and bow endlessly; All this came easily to her and she was so used to it that as soon as she fell asleep, someone would come to the door and knock, and she would get up again to pray. Finally, she told Father about this, who seriously told her: “When they wake you up again at night, don’t get up and don’t bow, but lie down all night. 1/2 hour before going to obedience, stand up and bow 12 times. She did so; At 12 o'clock, as usual, she wakes up, and exactly who tells her: get up to pray. But she, remembering the Elder’s order, lay in bed until 4 1/2 in the morning and then, getting up, she wanted to make the 12 bows assigned by the Elder, when suddenly she hit her forehead on a chair that had never stood in this place before. Her nose began to bleed and, fumbling around, she didn’t have time to make a single bow. Having told everything to Father, she received the following answer: “Now you see who woke you up; when you prayed of your own free will, it wasn’t hard for you to make hundreds of bows, but for obedience you didn’t even make 12, because these 12 bows are much harder for the enemy than your thousand, and before he woke you up, but now he didn’t even allow you to.” Father advised to remember more often the words: “I will foresee the Lord before me, as if he is at my right hand, but I will not move.” Remember, he said, that the Lord looks at you, at your heart and waits for where you will bend your will. The Lord is ready to forgive us every minute if we are only ready to cry out to Him with contrition: forgive and have mercy! But for the most part we answer the Lord’s question: “Adam, where are you?” – we try to blame others and therefore, instead of forgiveness, we prepare ourselves for double condemnation. Warning against laziness and idleness, Father loved to quote the words of St. Ephraim the Syrian: “When you work, work hard, so that you can avoid the disease of vain labor.” So one day Father ordered everyone to write on a piece of paper and paste the following saying on the wall: “Boredom is despondency for a grandson, and laziness is a daughter; To drive it away, work hard in action, don’t be lazy in prayer, boredom will pass and diligence will come.” Encouraging patience, he pointed to the examples of saints and, in his habit of expressing himself sometimes half-jokingly, composed a quatrain for this case: “The prophet Elisha endured, the prophet Moses endured, the prophet Elijah endured, so I will endure.” “Through your patience gain your souls, and he who endures to the end will be saved,” these were his favorite words, and he often repeated them to the despondent. Father never told us to be embarrassed by our mistakes, “they humble us,” he added. “If it weren’t for frost on the hops, they would have outgrown the oak tree,” said Father, explaining that if our various infirmities and mistakes had not humbled us, then we would have thought very highly of ourselves. Father taught me to surrender in everything to the will and providence of God and did not like it when they grumbled and said: why did they treat me differently, why did they tell others differently? “In the next world,” said Father, they will not ask: why and why? but they will ask us why and why we did not want to endure and humble ourselves? In human life, everything goes jumbled together, like yarn - there is an even thread, and then suddenly it gets mixed up (a thin thread).” Father, just as he was filled with humility, took special care that the sisters also tried and forced themselves to this virtue. “God loves only the humble, and as soon as a person humbles himself, now the Lord places him on the threshold of the kingdom of heaven; but when a person does not want to voluntarily humble himself, the Lord humbles him through sorrows and illnesses. Once, one sister was severely reprimanded by the Mother Superior for involuntary disobedience. The sister could not do otherwise and wanted to explain the reason, but the angry Mother Superior did not want to listen to anything and threatened to immediately, in front of everyone, make her bow. She was hurt and offended, but, seeing that it was impossible to justify herself, she, suppressing her pride, fell silent and only asked for forgiveness. Returning to her cell, this sister, to her great amazement, noticed that despite the fact that she had suffered such an undeserved accusation, especially in front of strangers from the world, instead of shame and embarrassment, on the contrary, her soul felt so light, joyful, good, as if she had received something joyful. In the evening of the same day, she went to Father (the Elder lived in Shamordin at that time) and told him about everything that had happened and about her extraordinary mood. The elder listened carefully to her story and then, with a serious expression on his face, told her the following: “This incident is providential, remember it; The Lord wanted to show you how sweet the fruit of humility is, so that, having felt it, you would always force yourself to humility, first to the external, and then to the internal. When a person forces himself to humble himself, the Lord comforts him internally, and this is the grace that God gives to the humble. Self-justification only seems to make it easier, but in fact it brings darkness and confusion to the soul.” “When you are in Optina,” Father said another time, go to the grave of Fr. Pimen and read the inscription on his monument; “This is how a monk should behave.” At the monument to Fr. Pimen, who was a humble ascetic of the Optina Hermitage, confessor of the brethren and the elder himself, the inscription says that he was loved by everyone for his meekness and humility. He accepted the comments of the abbot and elders without any self-justification, and humbly folded his hands and asked for forgiveness. So clearly, simply, the loving Elder expressed his wise instructions, and so strongly did they influence the soul, exhausted by struggle and temptation. In despondency and spiritual anguish, the Elder was a particularly strong helper; here, of course, his prayers were mainly effective, but nevertheless he did not leave without reinforcement with words. “This is a monastic cross,” he used to say; you must bear it without grumbling, considering yourself worthy and for this you will receive the special mercy of God. God sends this cross to those who love Him, but are guilty of negligence and conceit. If at this time blasphemous thoughts of despair come, then one should not be embarrassed, this is an enemy suggestion, and is not imputed to a person as a sin; we need to say more often: Lord, whether I want it or not, save me! Workers who live in obedience and force themselves to humility and self-reproach are delivered from this cross; but it is also useful and necessary in monastic life, and whoever has experienced it will fear it like the fire of conceit and exaltation.” “Father,” said one sister, “how can I have humility; Saints who lived righteously and considered themselves sinners really showed their humility, but I, for example, have nothing but sins, then what kind of humility is this when I see only what is?” Father answered this: “humility consists in having in the feeling of the heart the consciousness of one’s sinfulness and shortcomings, reproaching oneself internally and crying out with contrition from the depths: God be merciful to me, a sinner, and if we, humbling ourselves in words, think that we have humility, then this is not humility, but subtle spiritual pride.” When some faint-hearted people complained that monastic life was difficult, Father said that monasticism indeed requires constant compulsion and is a science of sciences, but at the same time it has enormous advantages over life in the world; the holy fathers said, Father added, that if it were known what sorrows and temptations monks face, then no one would go to the monastery, and if they knew what rewards the monks would receive, then the whole world would rush to the monastery. Father was generally lenient and, knowing that people now could not endure such a harsh lifestyle as the ancient monks led, he allowed, due to bodily weakness, to have something extra from food and clothing; but he never approved of the desire for more acquisitions and was especially always against winning tickets and the hope of winning, saying that if it is necessary for a person, then God will be able to send it without it. So one of his spiritual daughters, having a ticket and definitely wanting to win, upset by the failure, once said to him at the general blessing: “Here, Father, again I didn’t win anything, and just as I asked the Lord, the other day I prayed the whole Cherubim!” – that’s why I didn’t win because I prayed about it during the Cherubim; they sing: “Now we will put aside all everyday worries, but you ask for a win,” Father told her to this with his characteristic smile. There was no such sorrow, there was no such temptation that the gracious Elder could not remove from everyone’s soul. That’s why I was so drawn to Father at a difficult moment in my life because he surprisingly ardently took to heart any spiritual anxiety. When Father took his sister to study, at that time he completely belonged to her, lived her life, delved into all the secret bends of her heart, pointed out her shortcomings with the most tender care, judged and forgave, made his way and caressed her. And how light my soul felt after such “classes”; everything was taken away as if by hand, and they left him as if with a different heart, with new feelings... Of course, it was not only the Elder’s participation that influenced the soul, but the great power of grace with which he was filled made an internal revolution, saved and poured out life and peace. Proof of this are the numerous cases when people came to him in great spiritual confusion and, not yet having time to convey to him their inner state, accepted one blessing when he came out to the people, and already felt relief, and sometimes complete deliverance from mental burden. The priest will come out for a general blessing, slap you on the head, or while sitting on the sofa, bend your head and hold it tightly with your hand the entire time you talk to others, and then let you go without saying a word... And your soul has already become light and calm! Another time the sister comes, seemingly calm, the Elder takes her to her cell and begins to point her out to some incident that happened to her, in which there would be something serious and harmful, and yet she did not consider it important. Once a nun came to him for confession and told him everything she remembered; when she finished, Father himself began to tell her everything that she had forgotten and, among other things, mentioned one sin that she had not committed. This confused her and she told this to Father. Then the Elder told her: “Well, forget about it.” But for a long time she could not forget and remembered everything, but not finding this sin behind her, she again told the Elder that she had not sinned in this. The elder answered again: “Forget about it, I said so, I only wanted to”... and before he had time to finish, she remembered that this sin was really on her. Amazed, she brought sincere repentance. Two sisters came to Optina and asked to see the Elder. The priest came out for a general blessing and, seeing them, said: “Oh, I need you.” The sisters did not understand which of them these words applied to, and Father, returning back, took one of them by the hand and led him to him. A few minutes later she left the Elder all in tears. Her friend begged her to tell what was the matter, and she answered, crying: “Oh, Father told me so scary that he saw an enemy who said that he went to Shamordino to embarrass me against so-and-so, but I never even saw him.” Confused, she went to her confessor, Fr. Anatoly and conveyed to him everything she had heard from the Elder. Fr. Anatoly advised her to carefully examine her conscience, that when he said it, the Elder did not say this simply. She suffered for a long time and finally remembered that she was really thinking about one person, but not the one whom the evil accuser had named to the Elder, and she did not repent of it. Thus, the enemy slandered his sister in front of the Elder, but through his prayers, this enemy intrigue turned into an arrow against him; Through this incident, the sister remembered her unconfessed sin and brought sincere repentance. One sister had various questions concerning her inner life. This was the Dormition Fast, in the last year of his life; there were a lot of people, the Elder was very tired, and she, not hoping to get to a conversation with him, wrote him a letter. Two days later she was with the Elder, and he gave full answers to all points of her letter, remembering himself what else was written there. The sister left the Elder comforted and at peace, not suspecting, however, what miracle of the Elder’s foresight had happened over her. In October, the Elder died and 6 weeks later, while sorting out his cell papers, they found an unopened letter addressed to him; since the envelope also had an inscription on who it was from, it was returned as it belonged. Imagine the amazement of that sister when she saw that very letter of hers, which she wrote during the Dormition Fast, and to which she then received such detailed answers, unopened. But there were many examples that Father Ambrose could see a person’s whole life - he read the future as if from a book, and in such cases he always acted decisively, firmly, and with authority. This is how, for example, one venerable nun talks about herself. “I came to Father as a 22-year-old widow. I was forced into marriage; my mother beat me up and told me to go down the aisle to a man I didn’t know at all. I lived with him for 5 years and was left a widow with a little daughter. I came to the Elder with the intention of asking to enter the Belevsky Monastery. But Father, after listening to me, said: “The monastery will not leave you, but now is not the time, you still need to live in the world, get married, and raise your daughter.” I burst into tears when I heard about the second marriage and said decisively: “No, Father, this will never happen, I was married unwillingly the first time, and I will never marry again.” Father doesn’t seem to hear me and continues: “Just then bring him to show me, you hear, come together, but I’ll bargain with him myself, I won’t give you away cheaply, let him give you 20 thousand.” I laughed at this, since we had a small trading business, which after the death of our father remained in the hands of our mother and me, and although we had wealth, it was ridiculous to even think about rich suitors. While we lived in Optina, Father kept repeating the same thing, and I cried and got angry. By the way, I asked Father to give us some good, experienced person to conduct our trading affairs, since my mother and I understood little, and our affairs had fallen into complete decline. Father, as if jokingly, said to this: “Well, sometimes you come across good people on the road.” Finally the day of our departure came, we came to say goodbye to Father; he received us, blessed us and said: “Well, goodbye, don’t frighten anyone, and don’t be frightened yourself.” We didn’t understand anything and soon drove along the Belevskaya road in a cart. Suddenly we hear some voices, and then we see three people: two began to hold the coachman, and the third began to unharness the horses. We were frozen with fear and immediately remembered the words of the Elder at parting. At that same moment we heard the sound of a saw nearby in the forest and began to scream, and indeed there were sawmills nearby who ran to our cry and grabbed the villains. I gave them a ruble of money, telling them to take them to Kozelsk and leave as quickly as possible. We arrived at the inn to feed the horses; there was another passing man there; We got to talking with him, and it turned out that he was very familiar with trading matters, and he was going to Father Ambrose to ask for a position. I was delighted, invited him to work with my mother and me, and soon after visiting Optina, he came to us and set the matter at a higher level than we even expected. So the words of the Elder came true that “even on the road you come across good people.” So I began to go to Optina every year and did nothing without Father’s blessing. Father didn’t let me go to the monastery, he told me to calm my mother down and raise my daughter, and he kept reminding me about marriage. I lose my temper and say: I need to live with my mother and it won’t be good for my daughter. So I was widowed for 17 years. Finally, my mother died and I gave my daughter away in marriage. When I became completely free, one rich merchant began to invite me to his house as his mistress. He lived with his brother, also a widower, who had a daughter. This gimmick went on for a long time, I was angry, I didn’t want to hear, but he kept pestering me, saying that it didn’t matter. Ambrose orders you to get married and invites you to go with him to Optina. He was a good man, very rich, and held several important city positions. One day, while visiting us, my daughter told him that she really wanted our union and persuaded me to go with him to Optina. Father greeted us cheerfully, blessed us in one way, gave us blessed bread, prayed and turned around and said: “Well, now congratulations.” I literally burst into tears, and Father said: “Well, what are you talking about! Go to the hotel, have lunch and drink to each other,” and immediately handed me a promissory note from my new betrothed for 20 thousand rubles. So everything turned out as Father predicted many years in advance. I lived with him very well for 7 years, he was ill for a long time, I looked after him, took him to healing waters several times and finally buried him. I come to Father, and he says: “Well, now is the time to fulfill your long-standing intention to enter the monastery.” I just gasped: “Why, Father, give me a rest, I spent my whole life in troubles and worries, looked after the sick, and again went into submission to the monastery; let me live my life at least a little, take care of my estate.” And no matter how much Father tried to persuade me, I never agreed and began to live on the estate. Father was very angry with me, but I still didn’t listen. At this time, Shamordino began to settle down. Father sent me there to look. I went with some gentleman from St. Petersburg, who told me something all the way. I didn’t like it in Shamordin. Mother Sophia was not at home; it was Shrovetide and the young sisters sang various spiritual poems, laughed and frolicked, but it seemed to me that this was not very good. I returned to Optina and said to Father: “Well, Father, why did you send me there - there is only one temptation - and it doesn’t look like a monastery; and I was traveling with some St. Petersburg gentleman, I was tired of him on the way.” The priest laughed and said: “It’s so strict in our monastery, and even then the monks go for walks around the monastery and in the forest after pancakes, and sometimes they laugh, but when the 1st week of fasting comes, you won’t see anyone, everyone’s noses will hang; It’s the same in Shamordino - they always work and work, but we need to give them some rest, and let the young people have a little fun. Have you heard what they say about the gypsy? - added Father. - A gypsy came to the monastery for oil; His brothers fed him pancakes. He saw that the food in the monastery was good and he thought: perhaps I would agree to stay in the monastery. Lived Mastana in the monastery. Lent has arrived; no one invites him to eat - he waited, waited, and even asked, but they told him: we don’t cook anything this week. He heard this, and quickly left the monastery. A man with a dog met him. "Where are you going?" he asks the man. - “Yes, I’m going to drown the dog.” “It’s not worth it,” the gypsy told him, it’s better to take her to the monastery, she’ll die there herself.” “So,” the Elder finished, “there is a time for everything.” About my companion, Father said: “I don’t know what will happen, either he’s caught or not, but they threw the net.” A year later I come to Optina, and I see this same gentleman walking in a monastic cassock. I became unwell, and my doctor sent me to the Caucasus; I got ready and went to see Father. Father listened to everything and said: “Well, live with us for a little while.” I live. Once I come to Father, and he says: “Have you ever been to the Zhabynskaya Hermitage?” - “No, I say, Father, I wasn’t.” - “Well, go and swim there.” - “Father, I say, it’s time for me to go to the Caucasus, I’m already missing out on time, the doctor told me in May, and May is already passing, and I can’t swim due to my illness.” “No,” said Father, it’s nothing, the sick need to go to St. a place to swim." Father called one Shamorda nun and said: “Here, go together to Zhabyn. As you leave the monastery, you will meet a cab driver, you will ask if his name is Maxim, hire him, and go tomorrow at dawn.” We are leaving the monastery and meet a man; we ask: “Who are you?” He says: “I am a cab driver.” - “What’s your name?” - “Maxim.” We exchanged glances with M.E. and hired him. We stayed in Zhabynya, prayed, I took a bath on the orders of Father, but M. E. did not, saying: “Father told you, but he didn’t tell me anything.” Let's go back. We came to Father, and he looked at us and said: “Here is one who went as a fool, but came smart, and the smart one came as a fool.” We understood that this applied to M.E. for not taking a bath. We talked a little with Father, and he suddenly said: “Yes, that’s what,” here Fr. Anatoly came for you, he needs you for something, go quickly.” Surprised, we went. Let's see about. Anatoly in a robe, Fr. Joseph, Fr. Benedict is also in robes, the singers are standing. What - we don’t understand anything, oh. Anatoly looks at us. “Well, he says, how many of you are there?” “There are two of us,” we say. - “Just stand up.” - “What is it?” we ask. - “Nothing, the Elder ordered you to receive unction.” - “How can I give unction, I cried out, why, but I’m not sick!” “Why are you going to the Caucasus if you’re not sick,” said Fr. Anatoly. So we were singled out. We came to Father, and I said: “Father, what are you doing, you will come up with something else,” and Father hurries me and says: “Go, go quickly, there you are. Joseph is waiting." - “Why else?” – I screamed. - “Yes, he wants to read some kind of prayer to you.” - “Lord have mercy, I say, what other prayer, for what?” “Yes, confession,” Father says, and then maybe you can confess to him.” - “What are you really doing to me, Father, why am I going to Fr. Joseph to confess, but I don’t even fast.” “No, you’re fasting,” Father says, but since Trinity Day is very difficult, you should get ready for tomorrow.” Amazed, I went to Fr. Joseph, he read me a prayer of confession and asked: “Did Father tell you anything? He told me to confess you.” “Well, confess,” I answered. The next day I joined. On Spiritual Day, I celebrated early mass and came to my room to drink tea. As soon as I drank a cup, the hotel owner comes in and says: “The horse has come for you.” “What a horse, I’m not going anywhere,” I say. - “Yes, I don’t know,” says the hotel owner, the coachman speaks for you.” - “Lord Jesus! What other news,” I think. She went out onto the porch; There is a cart, I ask the coachman: “Who sent you?” - “They sent me from the monastery and told me to take you quickly.” Well, I think it’s true that I’ll be needed soon; got dressed and went out to sit down. The wind was terrible, everything was torn off me, and dust directly covered my eyes. I took a handkerchief and completely covered my face. Let's go; suddenly I hear that we’ve just driven onto a bridge, hooves knocking on wood. I opened my face and saw we were on a ferry. “Where are you taking me?” – I attacked the driver. “Yes, in Shamordino,” he answered. - “like in Shamordino?” – I howled. - “Yes, that’s what I was ordered to do, but you weren’t told to tell me before.” Then I realized that Father could not persuade me to enter the monastery in any way, but with his power he forces me to submit to the will of God. I cried all the way, and when I arrived in Shamordino, at the hotel the elder sister asked my name and said that they were waiting for me here, that Father had ordered a room to be prepared; and Mother Sophia said that Father blessed me to stay here and wait until he sends for me. So I stayed in Shamordin. I went afterwards to arrange my affairs and now I live and thank the Lord and Father.”