I. Основатель Казанской Амвросиевской Пустыни иеросхимонах Амвросий. – Детство и юность. – Воспитание и характер. – Обет и колебание. – Путешествие к Троекуровскому затворнику и в Лавру преп. Сергия. – Повод к окончательному решению поступить в монастырь

The name of Elder Ambrose is too well known in Rus' and, during his lifetime, his cramped hut in the Optina monastery accommodated many people of the most diverse kind, both in external position and in internal appearance. The heart of the loving Elder was open to everyone, and he had enough love and wisdom for everyone. Biographical information about him, before his admission to Optina Pustyn, is rather scarce. It is known that he was distinguished, from a young age, by a religious disposition, which was embedded in his childish heart from a very early age. His father was a clergyman of the village church. Bolshaya Lipovitsy, Tambov province, and my grandfather was a priest and dean there. Mikhail Fedorovich Grenkov (father's name) had 8 children, of whom Alexander was born in 1812 on November 21. Alexander's upbringing took place amid the patriarchal atmosphere of the good old days. A strictly pious family, proximity to the church, learning to read and write from the psalter, participation in church services and good examples greatly influenced the development of his spiritual life. By nature he was a very impressionable and receptive child, which is why he had to encounter sorrows and hardships early on. Being very lively and cheerful, he was the soul of all kinds of games and pranks, and this often served as a reason for various children's grief. His grandfather, who loved peace and tranquility, did not like his naughty grandson, and his mother, who tried to calm her father-in-law in everything, restrained Alexander’s playfulness, punishing him for any offense. Sometimes it was a shame for the boy that his brothers were less likely to come across him and so he started a general fuss, knowing that in this way he would get everyone without exception. But even these childhood sins weighed heavily on his pure soul, and he, already an old man and spiritual physician of many souls, always remembered this with contrition. Alexander was sent to the Tambov Theological School for 12 years, from where later, as the best student, he was transferred to the Seminary, after which he was appointed teacher of the Lipetsk Theological School. Liveliness and cheerfulness did not in the least prevent him from seriously studying the sciences, and the rigor and discipline that characterized our theological school at that time did not leave in him the slightest feeling of grief and bitterness against people - on the contrary, contributing to the correct flow of life, they developed in the young man a serious attitude towards his responsibilities, the skill and ability to manage himself and subordinate himself to reasonable demands. That this is exactly the case is evident from the fact that the Elder himself always spoke with love and sincere gratitude about his parents and mentors and superiors, despite the fact that they all treated him very strictly. Moreover, human fear served as the basis for the fear of God; the fear of responsibility before people made him think about responsibility before God. So, when a dangerous illness befell him, and he no longer hoped to recover, he became afraid of appearing unprepared for the judgment of God, so he made a vow to God, if he recovered, to go to a monastery. He remained alive, but his natural character traits took their toll, and a difficult time of internal struggle came for young Alexander Mikhailovich. When he was a teacher at the Lipetsk Theological School, life in the world, among a cheerful young society and various tempting pleasures, captivated him, and the vow made in the terrible moment of his mortal illness... called him to a quiet monastic cell. Explaining his state of mind, Fr. Ambrose himself later reported about him this way: “After recovery, I kept shrinking for four whole years, I could not immediately end the world; I used to think to myself: I won’t go to my friends anymore, but someone will call me and I’ll get carried away again, and when I return home, my soul is heavy and my conscience is uneasy. That’s how I suffered.” In such painful moments, he resorted to fervent prayer in front of the icon of B.M. - a parental blessing, for which he was also subjected to ridicule from fellow teachers who lived in the same apartment with him; they tried in every possible way to distract his heart from pious thoughts. But the wise Providence of God turned this very circumstance to his benefit, and ridicule and persecution from friends only moved him on the path of vow. In the summer of 1839, taking advantage of the holidays, Alexander Mikhailovich went with one of his comrades who sympathized with him to the then-famous reclusive elder Fr. Hilarion Troekurovsky. The perspicacious Elder understood the state of mind of Alexander Mikhailovich, and gave him direct and decisive advice: “go to Optina, there are experienced elders there and you are needed there.” Alexander Mikhailovich accepted the words of Fr. with faith. Hilarion, considering them as instructions from God. From Troekurov they went to pray at the Trinity-Sergius Lavra. The impressionable nature of Alexander Mikhailovich quickly perceived new sensations... the image of the great ascetic humble abbot Sergius captured his entire soul; Lavra worship, the incorruptible relics resting here - all this greatly influenced him, and he firmly decided to end the world. Meanwhile, autumn was approaching, classes at the school began, and the life of teacher Grenkov went on as usual. The monastery was again postponed. But then a circumstance happened that put an end to his indecision. Once they invited him to visit. The friendly conversation, the relaxed attitude of his comrades captivated Alexander Mikhailovich and he, with his soul wide open, indulged in gaiety, and made the whole society laugh with various jokes and stories. Returning home, he felt remorse: he remembered his recent visit to the Troekurovsky recluse, who told him the will of God, and his decisive intention to finally fulfill his vow before God; He was quickly transported in his thoughts to the monastery of Sergius, where he prayed so fervently and ascended in spirit above earthly things, and here... such forgetfulness, such enthusiasm!.. So the night passed. In the morning, Alexander Mikhailovich announced to his travel companion, Pavel Stepanovich Pokrovsky: “I’m going to Optina.” And indeed, a few days later, Alexander Mikhailovich, without telling anyone, left for Optina Pustyn.