I. Беседы

Conversations at the Optina Hermitage Skete Conversation in 1907. Father Barsanuphius about himself My grandfathers and great-grandfathers were millionaire merchants; in Samara they owned an entire street called Kazanskaya. In general, our entire family was under the special protection of the Kazan Mother of God. When I was three or four years old, my father and I often went to church, and many times, when I stood at the icon of the Mother of God, it seemed to me that the Mother of God, as if alive, was looking at me from the icon, smiling and beckoning me. I ran up to my father. - Dad, dad, She's alive! - I repeated. - Who, my child? - asked the father. Once, when I was six years old, there was such a case. We lived in a dacha on our estate near Orenburg. Our house stood in a huge garden-park and was guarded by a guard and dogs, so it was impossible for an outsider to enter the park unnoticed. One day my father and I were walking in the park, and suddenly, out of nowhere, an old man appeared in front of us. Approaching my father, he said: “Remember, father, that this child will one day drag souls from hell.” Having said this, he disappeared. Then they looked for him everywhere in vain - none of the watchmen saw him. My mother died when I was born, and my father remarried. My stepmother was a deeply religious and unusually kind woman, so she completely replaced my mother. And even, perhaps, my own mother could not give such an upbringing. She got up very early and was with me every day at Matins, despite my infancy. Early morning. I woke up, but I didn’t want to get up. The maid gives my mother a wash, and I wrap myself in a blanket. Now the mother is ready. “Oh, Pavel is still sleeping,” she says. “Give me some cold water,” she turns to the maid. I immediately lean out from under the blanket: - Mom, I’m already awake! - I say. They dress me, and my mother and I go to church. It’s still completely dark, and at times I fall into drifts of snow and rush after my mother. She also loved to pray at home. Sometimes an akathist reads, and I sing in a thin voice throughout the apartment: “Most Holy Theotokos, save us!” When I was nine years old, I was sent to a gymnasium; the years of study passed quickly. Then he entered the service and settled in Kazan under the protection of the Queen of Heaven. When I turned 25, my mother approached me with an offer to marry. At her insistence, I approached the women for the first time and entered into conversation with them. "My God! What unbearable boredom, I thought, everyone just talks about trips, about outfits, about hats. What will I talk about with my wife if I get married? No, I’ll leave it at that.” Another five years passed. Mother again began to advise me: “Think, Pavlusha, maybe you’ll also want to get married, take a closer look at the young ladies, don’t you like which one of them?” I listened to my mother, but, as the first time, I received the same impression from conversations with women and decided in my heart not to get married. When I was about 35 years old, my mother turned to me again: “Why are you, Pavlusha, you keep avoiding women, soon your years will pass, no one will marry you, be careful not to repent later.” For my obedience, I fulfilled my mother’s desire to enter into conversation with women again. And that day some of my friends were hosting a big dinner party. “Well,” I thought, “whoever I have to sit next to, I’ll enter into a lengthy conversation with,” and suddenly a priest, distinguished for his high spiritual life, sat next to me at dinner and started a conversation with me about the Jesus Prayer. I was so carried away listening to him that I completely forgot about my intention to talk to the brides. When lunch was over, I had a firm decision not to get married, which I told my mother about. Mother was very happy. She always wanted me to devote my life to the Lord, but she herself never told me about it. The Lord led me to monasticism in mysterious ways. By the grace of God I recognized Optina and Father Fr. Ambrose, who blessed me to enter the monastery. A year before I entered the Skete, on the second day of the Nativity of Christ, I was returning from early mass. It was still dark and the city was just beginning to wake up. I walked along completely deserted streets. Suddenly an old man came up to me, asking for alms. I realized that I didn’t take my wallet with me, and there were only twenty kopecks in my pocket. I gave them to the old man with the words: “I’m sorry, I don’t have them with me anymore.” He thanked me and handed me the prosphora. I took it, put it in my pocket and just wanted to say something to the beggar when he was no longer there. I looked everywhere in vain; he disappeared without a trace. The next year on this day I was already in Skete. If you look at life carefully, it is all full of miracles, but we often do not notice them and pass by indifferently. May the Lord give us the wisdom to carefully spend the days of our lives, working out our salvation with fear and trembling 1 . Amen. December 28, 1908 Christmastide The Lord looks at a person’s heart, and if he sees a strong desire to fulfill His holy will, then he helps him with his own image and destinies. For example, a person wants to go to a monastery and serve the Lord there, and hides his intention far from people, but the Lord sees his desire and helps him. I learned about the existence of Optina Pustyn in the most unexpected way 2 . One day, when I came to work and prepared papers for my superiors to sign, I learned that my superiors would not be there that day. I went to wander around the headquarters and in one room I saw a book on the table, began to look at it and found an article about the Optina Hermitage in the Kaluga province. I knew the Kaluga province by geography, the city of Kozelsk was known to me by name, but I didn’t know that Optina Pustyn was located near it. After reading the article, I became very interested and definitely wanted to visit there. I was going there; At this time the late elder Fr. was still alive. Ambrose 3. I came to him to inform him of my desire to enter the monastery. He replied: “No, it’s too early, you’ll enter in two years.” Gave me instructions regarding my life. Two years have passed. I was getting ready to go to Optina forever. But I didn’t want to tell anyone about it. I'm taking a vacation. My boss says: - Why do you say it’s time? - I ask. - Why, Pavel Ivanovich, everyone has already taken vacation several times and traveled abroad, and you just sit and sit. You are also entitled to benefits. - No, I don’t need money. – As you wish, but it would be better to take it. This is where our conversation ended. My boss's words were prophetic. Indeed, it was “time.” Arrived in Optina. Father Ambrose was then in Shamordin 4. I went there, and he blessed me straight to Skete. I remember when I first saw Fr. Ambrose, then some voice said to me: “Well, he’ll take you.” Before entering the monastery, I went to pray to St. Sergius. At this time, in the Chernigov monastery, Fr. Barnabas 5. I went to him for a blessing. He blessed me, and he said: “I have a cold, I need to get married.” These words brought me terrible embarrassment. Some of those who were with me, who did not love Fr. Barnabas, they said: “You see what advice he gives? Great Elder Fr. Ambrose gave his blessing to go to the monastery, but this one proposes marriage.” Words about. Barnabas sank into my soul and greatly embarrassed me. When I, already a monk, told Father Fr. about this. Anatoly 6, then he explained these words to me this way: every Christian soul is the bride of Christ, therefore, “one must marry,” that is, unite with Christ, while the word “got a cold” means a spiritual illness from which a person suffers until Christ is imagined in him. It was a long time ago, when I was still Pavel Ivanovich. One day I went to the theater. The Huguenots were walking for the first time. The box was wonderful, opposite the stage itself. I was sitting with my boss. They sing love songs on stage, and the thought comes to me: “What if I die now, where will my soul go? Certainly not to Paradise. But if not to Paradise, then where?” I felt scared, I didn’t even want to look at the stage. And the inner voice says: “Get out of here!” But how to leave? The bosses are sitting there, uncomfortable. And the inner voice keeps repeating: “Go away, go away...” I got up and quietly walked to the door. He opened it. Came out. At first he walked quietly, and then more and more quickly, he took a cab and came home. Since then I began to avoid going to the theater. It used to be that comrades would come and offer to take the box in half, but I would refuse for one reason or another. Then my eyes started to hurt and I never went to the theater again. I really wanted to find out after a few years who helped me leave the Huguenots. It turned out that the Huguenots marched for the first time on October 4 - the memory of St. Barsanuphius 7. I realized then that this saint was the one who convinced me to leave the theater. Many years have passed since then. I was already in the monastery, preparing to take monastic vows. Suddenly I became dangerously ill. Everyone despaired of my recovery and decided to take tonsure as soon as possible. I remember bending over me and asking: “What name do you want to get?” I could barely answer: “Whatever.” I hear that during tonsure they call me Barsanuphius. Consequently, here too the Saint did not leave me, but wished to be my patron. Amen. “Lift up your eyes round about Zion, and see: behold, your children have come to you like a divinely luminous light, from the west and the north, and the sea, and the east...” 8 So now we can say this: you, my children, have come here from different places in search of Christ. May the Lord reward you for this and send peace and joy about the Holy Spirit 9 into your hearts. Blessed are you that you have loved the Lord and are spending this great holiday of the Nativity of Christ within the walls of the holy monastery. World 10 is now plunging into vices and lawlessness, and many are perishing irrevocably, but you are safe here in a quiet, holy refuge, visiting the Mother of God. It was through Her motherly prayers and intercession that you got here. Thank God that He protects you from troubles and misfortunes. Or maybe one of you will later be awarded the rank of angel. I do not call you either to the monastery or for the monastery. And you can be saved in the world, just don’t forget God; but they go to monasteries to achieve the highest perfection. True, there are more temptations here, but help is given from the Lord, and more than in the world. Some saints wanted to know how the Lord helps monks, and he had a vision: he saw a monk surrounded by a whole host of Angels with burning lamps. They say there are fewer temptations in the world. But let’s imagine a person being chased by a villain. Suppose he managed to escape, but he threatens him with his fist from afar with the words: “Look, just get caught by me!” But let’s say a person is walking and a whole crowd of enemies attacks him, there is nowhere to run. But suddenly, out of nowhere, a regiment of soldiers rushes to his defense, and the enemies run away with bloody faces. Perhaps the latter is safer than the former, isn't it? So it is in the monastery: although the enemy attacks more powerfully, the gracious power of God is nearby. In the monastery there are labors, but also high consolations, about which the world has not the slightest idea. It is difficult to make a good beginning, but when it has already been made, it becomes easier and more joyful to work with God, because the hope of salvation inspires us. The very face of a person working for God expresses his spiritual success. One day I saw a bishop in church whose face caught my attention. I remembered the words of the Gospel: His face is coming to Jerusalem 11. Indeed, this bishop led an ascetic life and steadily walked towards the Heavenly Jerusalem. On the contrary, the face of a vicious person reflects his spiritual mood. But what is especially sad is that sometimes people who are good at heart are inattentive to life, live day after day, not realizing their actions, and die. From the distant past, the image of one of my good friends, musician and composer Paskhalov 12 rises before me. He had enormous talent; thousands of people gathered at the concerts he gave. In the world I was a great lover of music and played the harmonium myself. To improve my playing, I started taking lessons from Paskhalov. He first asked for a large fee for the lessons, but I had the money and I agreed; then he fell in love with me, unworthy, and offered to study for free, which I, of course, refused. Our studies went successfully, but I was sad that Paskhalov completely moved away from the Church. I had to have a conversation with him about this more than once. “It is impossible to be saved without the Church,” I told him, “after all, you believe in God, why do you reject the means to salvation?” - What am I doing? I live like everyone else or the majority, why do we need rituals? Is it really impossible to be saved without going to church? “It’s impossible,” I answer, “there are seven doors for salvation; You have already entered one, but you need to enter others as well. – What are the seven doors? I've never heard anything like it. – Seven doors are seven Sacraments; Holy Baptism has been performed on you, therefore, some doors have been passed, but it is necessary to enter the doors of repentance, to unite with Christ in the Sacrament of Communion... - Well, what are you telling me, Pavel Ivanovich, everyone serves God as best they can, as, finally, they consider it necessary; You go to church, keep fasts, etc., but I serve God with music, does it really matter? and, without waiting for an answer, Paskhalov began to play. I have never heard such music, he played inimitably that evening. I lived in furnished rooms, and all the corridors were filled with people, the doors of all the rooms opened, everyone tried to listen to the brilliant composer. Finally, he came. “Surprisingly good,” I noted, “but music is music, and it still cannot replace the Church; everything has its time.” Our conversation with him lasted well past midnight that evening. He left in a special mood, peaceful and joyful. The next day, he came to me again. “You know, Pavel Ivanovich, all night I thought about what a great sinner I am, how many years I haven’t fasted.” Great Lent is coming soon, I will certainly fast and receive communion. - Why wait for the post? Say goodbye now. - No, now it’s inconvenient, because fasting is just around the corner. Paskhalov thought well, only he forgot that there was an enemy who was unpleasant about such a change in him, and that he needed to prepare for the fight - he lost sight of all this. One late evening he arrived home and ordered the maid to pay the cabman; she went out into the street, but instead of a cab driver she saw some kind of monster on the vehicle. His appearance was so terrible that the maid fainted. It is unknown where the enemy took Paskhalov, only the next day he died suddenly 13. And the soul perished forever. I feel sorry for him from the bottom of my heart. The enemy places his nets everywhere, wanting to destroy a person, and destroys the unwary. When I was still in the world, but had already begun to cease all friendship with him, I stopped visiting many houses, leaving two or three pious families where I visited from time to time. So, I visited one family, consisting of an old mother, a widow daughter and a granddaughter. One day we were sitting at the tea table and talking. The widow told me the following. “Several years ago, when I had just lost my husband, I was extremely sad. Life has lost all attraction for me. The thought of suicide came to mind more and more often. I will never forget the eve of Easter of that sad year for me. Thanks to my mother’s worries, everything was prepared for the holiday. Our apartment took on a festive look, only I didn’t have Easter in my soul, on the contrary, there was complete and gloomy despair. Mom, knowing my serious condition, almost never left me alone, and I decided to take advantage of Easter night to carry out my suicide plan. Mom always went to matins, therefore, except for my little daughter, there will be no one there, and I will not be disturbed. I told my mother that I wouldn’t go to matins because I had a headache. “Lie down and rest,” the mother persuaded, “maybe your head will get better, then we’ll go to church together.” In order not to talk to my mother, I lay down and fell asleep unnoticed. Suddenly I see a terrible dream. I’m standing near some gloomy, scary dungeon; In the distance you can see clouds of flame, and from the depths of the dungeon, burnt, scary, with a rope around her neck, my friend from the institute is running towards me. - Olya, Olya, what’s wrong with you? – I exclaimed. - Unhappy, and you want to come here! - she shouts to me. And suddenly the big bell rings loudly and clearly. I opened my eyes, full of fear and horror, and, seeing my room, I was glad that I was not in a dungeon. At this time, my mother entered the room. - Well, are you awake, my dear? How's your head? “My head is gone, I’ll go to church with you, mom.” - Well, glory to You, Lord! Otherwise, I’m already sad, how can you remain without Matins. After the service, when my mother and I said Christ and broke our fast, I told her everything. I didn’t know anything about my friend, where she was or what was wrong with her. With difficulty, we found the address of Olya’s uncle, who lived in Simbirsk, and wrote to him, asking where Olya was. He told us the sad news that two years ago his niece committed suicide. Then we both understood the meaning of the dream.” The Lord taught this to His servant through a dream. In general, I don’t attach importance to dreams, but sometimes I have special dreams. I knew a man who had a dream about a nun. He saw that the abbess had arrived, the sisters brought one bound nun and, opening a hatch in the floor, began to lower her there. “Lord, where are they lowering her...” - he thought, and mother orders him to lower him deeper, while the nun holds the end of the rope with which the nun is tied in her hands. He woke up. In the morning I met an old nun from that monastery and told her my dream. - What does she look like? – asked the nun. – Blonde, tall, with freckles on her face. - But the dream is in your hand. Indeed, a sin happened to just such a nun, and the abbess sent her to a remote monastery dacha. When they asked Father Fr. Ambrose about the fallen nun, he replied: “She will not die, because Mother Superior did not let go of the rope from her hands, which means she will be saved.” And I say to you: save yourself, my children, may the Lord grant you all to become heirs of His Kingdom. May the Lord unite our souls even after death, and we, gathered there, will remember this hut and our conversations. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us sinners and grant us “to partake of the eternal days of Your Kingdom” 14. Amen. January 6, 1909 Epiphany of the Lord There is a great reward for those who love the Lord. The Apostle Paul says: Eye has not seen, and ear has not heard, and the heart of man has not breathed what God has prepared for those who love Him 15 . Yes, infinitely blessed will be those who are deemed worthy to receive Eternal Life. What Paradise is, we now cannot understand. The Lord showed Paradise to some people in sensual images; most often it was seen in the form of a beautiful garden or church. When I was still living in the world, the Lord twice consoled me with visions of Paradise in a dream. One day I see a magnificent city standing on the top of a mountain. All the buildings in the city are incredibly beautiful, with a special architecture that I have never seen. I stand in delight and admire. Suddenly I see the holy fool Misha approaching this city. Dressed only in one shirt that reaches to the knees, his feet are bare. I look at him and see that he does not touch the ground, but rushes through the air. I wanted to ask him something, but I didn’t have time: the vision ended and I woke up. I woke up with a feeling of extraordinary joy in my soul. Going out into the street, I suddenly saw Misha. He, as always, is in a hurry, in a hurry. “Misha,” I say, “I saw you in a dream today.” He, looking at me, answered: The imams are not here for the city that abides, but we seek the one to come 16. Having said this, he quickly walked forward. Another time I see that I am standing in a magnificent church. The royal doors are open and the Easter service is being held. On the pulpit stands a deacon from a Kazan church. He says the song of the Easter canon, and the choir echoes him. The last words were especially imprinted in my mind: “...the speech was perfect” 17. The choir sang amazingly. I had never heard such singing in my life: it seemed that every atom of the air sounded. This singing touched me and brought me into indescribable delight. Now I, a sinner, do not see such dreams, the Lord does not give such consolation: walk this way on the path of life; but I would like to relive those delights at least once again. I remember for a long time I was under the impression of a dream. I tried to remember every detail. I also wondered why I saw our deacon in the heavenly church. I began asking people who knew him about him. At first I received unsatisfactory answers: they say his bass is excellent. What a bass, you won’t get into Heaven for his sake. Then I found out that he was a secret ascetic. Oh, if only the Lord would grant us all the opportunity to obtain heavenly Paradise! However, one must hope for this: despair is a mortal sin. There are different degrees of bliss, depending on the merits of each: some will be with the Cherubim, others with the Seraphim, etc., but we would only like to be among those being saved. Such great ascetics as Rev. Seraphim 18, will be awarded the highest bliss. Rev. Seraphim was a seraphim in spirit and now inherited their glory; Of course, not everyone can achieve such holiness. The late Father Fr. Macarius 19 said: “Such luminaries as the Venerable Anthony the Great, Macarius of Egypt 20 and others were the Lord’s generals, they took the general’s places, we are soldiers, and it will be good for us if we take at least the very last place among those being saved.” The spirit of malice, inflamed by envy of the human race, seeks to seduce everyone from the right path, and indeed seduces the lazy and careless. One day the devil appeared to a certain ascetic in a sensual way. The ascetic asked him: – Why do you attack the human race with such malice? – Why are you taking our vacant positions? - answered the evil spirit. For their pride, the spirits of malice lost their heavenly bliss, and now people take their places for humility! Great humility! It places us above all the networks of the devil. One day Rev. Anthony had a vision of how the enemy was laying snares everywhere and for everyone. The ascetic became embarrassed and, sighing, said: “Lord, who can escape these snares?” And I heard the answer: “Humble” 21. We must try to acquire humility; without it, all our exploits mean nothing. If a person thinks that he is something, then he is lost. A humble sinner is more pleasing to the Lord than a proud righteous man. The Monk Macarius of Egypt was distinguished by special spiritual gifts. He is called not just a saint, but a great one. But then one day he had the idea that he served for the area where he lived as a spiritual center, a sun to which everyone strives. In fact, this was true. But when the Reverend thought something about himself, a voice came to him, saying that in the nearest village there lived two women who were more pleasing to God than he. The elder took his staff and went to look for these women who were more pleasing to God. By God's providence, he soon found them and entered their home. Women, seeing Rev. Macarius, fell at his feet and could not find words to express their surprise and gratitude to him. The monk picked them up and began to ask them to reveal to him how they pleased God. “Holy Father,” the women said, “we are not doing anything pleasing to God, pray for us for the Lord’s sake.” But the Reverend began to insist that they not hide their virtues from him. The women, afraid to disobey the Elder, began to tell him about their lives: “We were strangers to each other, but after marrying our brothers, we began to live together and have not been separated for fifteen years now. During this time, we never quarreled or said a single offensive word to each other. We try, if possible, to visit the church of God more often, and observe the established fasts. As much as we can, we help the poor... Well, we live with our husbands as with brothers, and we have absolutely nothing else that is good. “What,” asked the Elder, “do you consider yourself holy or righteous for the good you do?” - Saints? – the women were surprised. - No matter how saints or righteous we are, we are the greatest sinners: pray for us, Holy Father, may the Lord have mercy on us! The monk gave them a blessing and withdrew into the desert, thanking God for the admonition they received. He did not say a word to the women about his vision, fearing that he might harm them with his praise. Like Macarius the Great, and the holy hermit Pitirim 22, an angel once announced that, despite his exploits, he had not yet achieved such holiness as one novice living in a dormitory in a monastery. At the inspiration of the Angel of St. Pitirim went to the indicated monastery. Arriving there, he asked the abbess to show him all the sisters of the monastery. When everyone appeared and began to approach the blessing of St. Pitirim said: “Yes,” said the abbess, “but she cannot be brought, she is half insane, and we tolerate her in the monastery only out of compassion.” The saint still ordered her to be brought. She came in miserable rags with a crumpled scarf on her head. -Where have you been, mother? – the Reverend asked her. - She was lying near the cesspool. - Why, mother, haven’t you found a better place? - Yes, I’m not worth a better place. Saint Pitirim allowed her to leave, and then, turning to the abbess and sisters, he said: – Your monastery has an invaluable treasure: this humble sister of yours is a great servant of God. Hearing this, all the sisters became excited. One admitted to the Reverend that she often beat her sister, another abused her in every possible way, the third treated her with the greatest contempt, not even considering her as a person, the fourth admitted that she often deliberately poured slop on her. The sisters wanted to immediately ask for forgiveness from the offended woman, but she, having learned about their intention, secretly left the monastery, fleeing the glory that would have destroyed her. The Lord said: Anyone who exalts himself will humble himself, and he who humbles himself will be exalted 23. Amen. In this Gospel we read about the sojourn of the Lord Jesus Christ in Nazareth. The Lord told the inhabitants of this city that many would come from the east and west and lie down with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and the sons of the kingdom would be driven out 24 years ago. Where to go? - Obviously, to hell. The enraged Nazarenes, like wild animals, rushed at the Savior, surrounded him and dragged him to a high cliff, from which they wanted to throw Him off. He passed through the midst of them, walking. Idyashe - without indicating the beginning and end of the action, Idyashe all the time 25. The Gospel contains a deep meaning, which is gradually revealed to a person who carefully reads the Scriptures. And from this inexhaustible depth of content we learn about the Divine origin of the Book, because it is always possible to distinguish the work of human hands from the creation of God. Have you seen beautiful French artificial flowers? They are made so well that, perhaps, they are not inferior in beauty to a living plant, but we are still looking at both flowers with the naked eye. Let's take a strong magnifying glass. And what will we see then? Instead of one flower there is a heap of ropes, rough and ugly knots; instead of another - a creature of extraordinary beauty and grace. And the stronger the glass, the clearer the difference between the beautiful creation of God’s hands and the pitiful imitation of men. The more we read into the Gospel, the more the difference becomes clear between it and the best works of the greatest human minds. No matter how beautiful and deep any famous work - scientific or artistic - may be, each of them can be understood to the end: it is deep, but there is a bottom in it. There is no bottom in the Gospel. The more you look into it, the wider its meaning unfolds, inexhaustible for any brilliant mind. He passed through the midst of them, walking. Who? In the historical sense - Lord. But, in addition to historical significance, the gospel story has something else that applies to each of us. Who is he? This is our mind going through grief. “We have grief in our hearts” 26 – our soul strives, our mind strives for grief in the Lord; but, like wild animals, thoughts, temptations, vanity surround us, and the wings that lifted the spirit fall; and it seems that grief will never come to him. “Lord, Lord!.. I thirst for communication with You, life in You, remembrance of You alone, but I constantly get distracted, amuse myself, go astray. I went to church for mass. As soon as the service began, a thought occurred to me: oh, I left this and that at home wrong. Such and such a teaching is what needs to be said... I didn’t have time to iron my dress... And there are many, many supposedly urgent worries and thoughts - look, they have already sung “Cherubimskaya”, and mass is already over. Suddenly come to my senses - did you really pray? Have I talked to the Lord? No, my body was in the church, but my soul was in the everyday bustle.” – And such a soul will leave the church with embarrassment, inconsolable. What shall we say? Thank God that even though I was in church with my body, I even wanted to turn to the Lord. All life passes in vanity. The mind walks in the midst of vain thoughts and temptations. Gradually he will learn to remember God in such a way that in vanity and troubles, without thinking, he will think; not remembering, will remember Him. If only he would walk without stopping. As long as you have this striving forward, grief - do not be afraid: your boat is intact, and under the shadow of the Cross it makes its voyage on the sea of ​​life: it is intact, and there is no need to be afraid of storms that may happen. No ordinary voyage, much less the journey of life, can do without bad weather; but life’s adversities and storms are not scary for those who march under the cover of the saving prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner,” - they are not scary, just so as not to fall into despondency; for despondency gives rise to despair, and despair is already a mortal sin. If you happen to sin, believe in God’s mercy, repent and move on without embarrassment. He followed one monk for thirty years, trying to seduce him, but he still failed. Finally, after thirty years, he tempted him with fornication, and the monk fell. For a monk to fall into this sin is the same as destroying all his previous works. The demon came to the fallen man and told him that he had now fallen away from God and became a slave of sin and the devil. “You are mine now,” said the demon. - How can you be God’s when you have fallen into the most vile sin? You are the worst sinner. - Well, what about a sinner? I am God’s, but I don’t want to know you. - What does that have to do with you? - Is there a place for you in a monastery? You, having done such a terrible thing, don’t dare go back there. Your place is now in the world. Who are you going to? - To the confessor for confession. The demon blasphemed the confessor in every possible way and stopped the monk, but he insisted on his own. What did the confessor say? He forgave his sin. “It’s worthy of crying, brother, you destroyed all your previous works with your fall.” Get up and start over. And that night the Lord Jesus Christ appeared to the abbot of that monastery, a man of high life. He held the monk's hand. – Do you recognize who it is? – the Lord asked the abbot. - I recognize, Lord: this is a monk from my herd, and even a fallen one. - Find out also that this monk, not succumbing to the demonic slander, which inclined him to despondency and despair, in his very fall shamed the demon; and I justified him. This is the meaning of firmness and courageous readiness, having been defeated in the struggle, to start it again, without falling into despondency and despair. He, having passed through the middle of them, walking, our mind, in its desire for grief, has to walk between vain thoughts, between temptations. His blasphemous thoughts often confuse him. Another comes with a statement that he is dead, because thoughts come into his head that blaspheme God, the saints, and the sacraments; and blasphemy against Doula the Holy will not be forgiven either in this century or in the future 27 . There is a lot that is misunderstood here. Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit - an unforgivable sin that leads to destruction - is called persistent unbelief and denial of the existence of God, despite the miracles occurring with one’s own eyes, despite the many facts that irrefutably prove the existence of God. Stubborn denial and unbelief are blasphemy against the Spirit of God and are not forgiven either in this age or in the future; and the man who died without repenting of his unbelief was lost. An example of such an unrepentant blasphemer is Leo Tolstoy, who stubbornly rejects the Church and does not recognize the Divinity of the Lord Jesus Christ, no matter what they tell him and no matter how they prove the unfoundedness of his views. If he dies without repenting, he is lost. If he repents before death, he will be forgiven. Meanwhile, many by blasphemy against the Holy Spirit mean bad, nasty thoughts that appear from somewhere in the mind of a believer, and consider such a person to be lost. They are deeply mistaken. Can someone who believes in God, loves Him, hopes in Him, think of blasphemy against Him? Obviously, these are not his thoughts, but they are whispered by the enemy of our salvation, for whom it is most beneficial for a person to fall into despair, consider himself to have fallen away from God - then he is all in the hands of the devil. I'll ask again. You are walking along the road. A drunk man comes across and spews the most terrible curses. What do you need to do? Quickly run past, trying not to hear what he says. If something remains in your memory, against your will, will God judge you for it, as for your blasphemy? No, it won't. It would be a different matter if you approached this drunk and began to say to him: “Okay, well, say something else, and now this...” - you would hug and walk with him, enjoying what he says. In this case, you would be condemned along with him. It’s the same with thoughts: if you try to drive them away from yourself, know that you are not responsible for the fact that they appeared in you, you mistakenly attribute them to yourself, but they are not yours, but are instilled in you by the enemy. Only when you voluntarily dwell on a bad thought, and it gives you pleasure, then you are guilty and must repent of this sin. Amen. Currently, not only among the laity, but also among the young clergy, the following conviction is beginning to spread: eternal torment is incompatible with the infinite mercy of God - therefore, torment is not eternal. This misconception stems from a misunderstanding of the matter. Eternal torment and eternal bliss are not something that only comes from outside, but exist, first of all, within the person himself. The Kingdom of God is within you 28. Whatever feelings a person instills in himself during his lifetime, he will pass on to eternal life. A sick body suffers on earth, and the stronger the disease, the greater the torment. Likewise, the soul, infected with various diseases, begins to suffer severely during the transition to eternal life. An incurable physical illness ends in death, but how can a mental illness end when there is no death for the soul? Malice, anger, irritability, fornication and other mental illnesses are such vermin that crawl after a person into eternal life. Hence, the goal of life is to crush these reptiles here on earth, in order to completely cleanse your soul and before death to say with our Savior: For the prince of this world is coming, and in me there will be nothing 29. A sinful soul, not purified by repentance, cannot be in the community of saints. Even if they placed her in Paradise, she herself would be unbearable to remain there, and she would strive to leave there. Indeed, what is it like to be unmerciful among the merciful, prodigal among the chaste, evil among the loving, etc.? One poor teacher once found himself at a high society dinner. They put him between the generals. He felt bad: he didn’t handle a knife or a fork the same way as his tall neighbors; tied the napkin, he saw that it was not good, the other neighbors didn’t tie it up, he put it on his knees, and it treacherously rolled onto the floor, I had to bend down and pick it up from the floor. There were a lot of dishes, the teacher refused some because he didn’t know how to start eating them. He sat on pins and needles throughout the entire dinner, only dreaming: will it ever end? Everyone else behaved at home, tried all the dishes, talked cheerfully, and laughed. Finally, lunch is over; after dessert they bring the last dish: small glasses filled with some kind of whitish liquid, placed in large glass cups. They first served it to the general, who was sitting next to the teacher, who took it and placed it next to him. The teacher was very thirsty, he took a glass and drank it in one gulp. It didn’t seem particularly tasty – the water was warm with mint. But what was the confusion of the poor teacher when he saw that everyone began to rinse their mouths with water, and no one began to drink this water. Completely embarrassed, he got up from the table and in the depths of his soul made an oath promise never to attend high society dinners. If on earth it is so unpleasant to be out of your own company, then even more so in Heaven. The wrong view of torment in general is now very widespread. They are understood somehow too spiritually and abstractly, as remorse; Of course, there will be remorse of conscience, but there will also be torment for the body - not for the one in which we are now clothed, but for the new one, in which we will clothe ourselves after the resurrection. And hell has a definite place, and is not an abstract concept. In the city of N. there lived a young officer leading an empty, distracted life. He seems to have never thought about religious issues and, in any case, was skeptical about them. But this is what happened one day. He himself talked about it this way: “One day, when I came home, I felt bad. I went to bed and seemed to fall asleep. When I came to my senses, I saw that I was in some unfamiliar city. He looked sad. Large gray dilapidated houses loomed sadly against the pale sky. The streets are narrow, crooked, and in some places heaps of rubbish are piled up; people - not a soul. At least one human being! It was as if the city had been abandoned by the inhabitants in sight of the enemy. I cannot convey the feeling of melancholy and despondency that gripped my soul. Lord, where am I? Finally, in the basement of one house, I saw two living and even familiar faces. Glory to Thee, Lord! But who are they? I began to think hard and remembered that these were two of my corps comrades who had died several years ago. They also recognized me and asked: “How, are you here too?” Despite the unusual nature of the meeting, I was still happy and asked them to show me where they lived. They led me into a damp dungeon, and I entered the room of one of them. “Friend,” I told him, “during your life you loved beauty and grace, you always had such a wonderful apartment, and now?” He did not answer, only with endless melancholy looked around the gloomy walls of his dungeon. “Where do you live?” – I turned to another. He stood up and, groaning, went into the depths of the dungeon. I did not dare to follow him and began to beg the other to take me out into the fresh air. He showed me the way. With great difficulty, I finally went out into the street, walked through several alleys, but a huge stone wall grew before my eyes; there is nowhere else to go; I turned around - and behind me stood the same high gloomy walls, I was as if in a stone bag. “Lord, save me!” – I exclaimed in despair and woke up. When I opened my eyes, I saw that I was on the edge of a terrible abyss, and some monsters were trying to push me into this abyss. Horror gripped my entire being. "Lord, help me!" - I cry with all my heart and come to my senses. Lord, where have I been and where am I now? A dull, monotonous plain covered with snow. Some cone-shaped mountains can be seen in the distance. Dead silence. Not a soul! I'm coming. There is a river in the distance, covered with thin ice. There are some people walking on the other side, they walk in a whole line and repeat: “Oh woe, oh woe.” I decide to walk across the river. The ice cracks and breaks, and monsters rise from the river, trying to grab me. Finally I'm on the other side. The road goes uphill. It’s cold, creepy, and there’s endless melancholy in my soul. But in the distance there is a light, some kind of tent has been pitched, and there are people in it. Thank God I'm not alone! I approach the tent, and again fear overcomes me. I recognize my worst enemies in the people sitting in the tent. “Ah, we finally got you, my dear, and you won’t leave us alive!” - they exclaim with evil joy and rush at me. “Lord, save and have mercy!” – I exclaim and open my eyes. What is this? I am lying in a coffin, there are many people around me, they are serving a memorial service. I see our old priest. He was distinguished by a high spiritual life and possessed the gift of clairvoyance. He quickly came up to me and said, “Did you know that you were a soul in hell? Don’t say anything now, calm down!” Since then, the young officer has changed dramatically. He left the regiment and chose another activity. Every day I began to visit the church and often receive Holy Communion. The vision of hell left an indelible impression on him. Remembering death and hell is very beneficial for the soul. Remember your last, and you will never sin 30. However, remembering the sweets of heaven can also protect a person from falling. In one monastery there lived a monk named Theodotus. He was from the Little Russians, illiterate, already an old man of about seventy. Out of obedience, he chopped wood, carried water, and built a fireplace. The monastery cook was distinguished by a hot-tempered character, often, when angry, he beat Fr. Theodotus with anything: a poker, a grip, a broom. No one has ever seen Fr. Theodotus became angry with the cook or said an offensive word to him. Sometimes one of the brethren will sympathetically go to him: “It hurts you, oh. Theodotus? “Nothing, it hit me on the hump,” he will answer, and his old face will light up with a childish smile. One day, one hieromonk of this monastery fell asleep while praying and had a dream: he saw a vast garden filled with trees of extraordinary beauty, the trees were covered with fruits emitting a subtle fragrance. “Who is the owner of this wonderful garden?” - thought the hieromonk and suddenly sees Fr. Theodota. - Father Theodotus, how are you here? - he exclaimed. - The Lord gave me this - this is my dacha. When my soul becomes heavy, I go here and console myself. – Can you give me the fruits of paradise? - Why, with pleasure, hand me your robe. – The hieromonk extended, and Fr. Theodotus poured many wonderful fruits into it. At this time, the hieromonk saw his late father, who was a priest. - Darling, darling, and you’re here! - he exclaimed joyfully and extended his hands to him; the end of the mantle fell out of his hands, and with it the fruits fell to the ground, and the hieromonk woke up. It was morning. The hieromonk went to the window of his cell and heard a cry: - Oh, you scoundrel! - the cook shouted. “Again I didn’t bring enough water, I need all the tubs to be filled.” And you didn’t even look at everything, you bastard! - Cursing, the cook teased Fr. Theodotus with a poker, as much as he had the strength. The hieromonk left. “Leave him,” he turned to the cook, “oh.” Theodotus, let's go to my place for tea. -Where were you now? – the hieromonk asked him. “Yes, I fell asleep a little in the kitchen and, out of old age, forgot to bring enough water, which brought upon myself the just displeasure of the cook’s father.” - No, oh. Theodotus, don’t hide it from me. Where were you now? -Where was I? – answered Fr. Theodotus. - In the same place as you. The Lord, by His ineffable mercy, prepared this abode for me. - What would have happened if I had not dropped the fruit? – asked the hieromonk. “Then they would have stayed with you, and you would have woken up and found them in your robe, but only then would I have left the monastery,” answered Fr. Theodotus. Soon after this Fr. Theodotus died and moved forever to the monastery prepared for him. May the Lord grant us also to dwell in His holy courts with all those who have pleased Him! One Athonite schema-monk once told an Optina elder the following. “When I was young, I was very rich and led the most joyful lifestyle. Happiness smiled at me everywhere. By my mature years I had become a very large manufacturer, counting my income in the millions. Possessing excellent health, I never thought about life; reward beyond the grave seemed to me only a fable. One afternoon I fell asleep in my office. Suddenly I see clearly, as if in reality, a bright Angel who, taking me by the hand, said: “Come on, I’ll show you the place that will be your eternal home.” I followed the Angel in fear. We found ourselves with him in some uninhabited, gloomy country. In the middle of it stood a cone-shaped mountain, from which clouds of flame and smoke burst out, and screams and groans were heard from the depths of that mountain. “This,” the Angel told me, “is the place to which you will move after death, if you live as you live now.” The Lord commanded this to be revealed to you. The angel became invisible and I woke up. Getting up, I gave thanks to God for giving me time to repent. After that, I hurried to get all my affairs done as quickly as possible. He left more than a million money to his wife, the same amount to his children, and he himself retired to Holy Mount Athos. At first the abbot did not want to take me, seeing me in mature years and incapable of work, but I donated a million to the monastery, and they took me. Currently, I have been honored with the rank of schemata and, with God’s help, I hope to avoid that place of torment.” Amen. We are accustomed to considering the West rotten for the ideas, often harmful, that are preached there. However, not everything has rotted there yet; from time to time people appear there, spreading bright views and healthy thoughts. The American Mott, who writes a lot about the inner state of the human soul, is one of these people. He quite correctly divides people into categories according to their internal structure. The first category is of perfect people who have conquered all passions, the second is those who struggle, who either overcome passions or are conquered by them, and, finally, the third category is carnal people who completely surrender to passions. Indeed, each person has a different attitude towards the fight against passions. However, even perfect people have passions, but there are no completely dispassionate people; dispassion exists in full only behind the grave. But the passions of the perfect ones have frozen because they are not allowed to move forward. Every person, no matter how high a life he leads, no matter what grace-filled gifts he has been granted, must remember and never forget that he, too, is a passionate person. The Venerable Jacob 31, through his life as an angel, achieved such holiness that he performed great miracles: he healed the sick, cleansed lepers, cast out demons, and raised the dead. But then one day temptation came upon him. At night a woman knocked on his cell, asking for shelter, as she had lost her way. The monk took pity on her and, fearing that wild animals might tear her apart, allowed her to spend the night with him. After a meager meal, the saint went into his inner cell, but an evil thought began to confuse him; he went out again and, seeing the woman naked, fell into sin with her against her will. When the sin was committed, the devil began to inspire Jacob to kill the woman so that his sin would not be made public and the entire monasticism would not be criticized. Listening to these evil suggestions, he committed another mortal sin - murder. After this, he fell into despair, abandoned his cell and went into the world. But the Lord did not want his death. On the way Rev. Jacob met some old monk, confessed his sins to him, and he convinced him to settle in a certain cave, promising to bring food there. “The Lord has a sea of ​​mercy; is it really not enough for you alone,” said the elder. For twelve years the Reverend labored hopelessly in this cave, and the Lord forgave his sins. Once in the city closest to this cave, where the venerable ascetic. Pakov, there was a severe drought. The Lord appeared to the bishop of this city, a man of holy life, in a dream and commanded him and all the people to go to the cave of the Saint and ask for his holy prayers. The bishop announced his vision to the people, and everyone went to the saint. When they began to ask for his prayers and talked about the appearance of the Lord, the Rev. Pakov replied: “You were mistaken, the Lord did not send this to me, since I am a great sinner.” The bishop begged him, saying: “Do not resist the command of God, raise your reverend hands and pray for us.” When the saint began to pray, it immediately began to rain heavily, and then the Monk Jacob realized that the Lord had forgiven him. In the city of Kostroma there once lived one blessed man who often asked a pious merchant: “Well, are the dead people still alive?” Some laughed at his words, not understanding their meaning, but the spiritual man understood that by “dead people” the blessed one meant passions that die out in pious people, but are still alive, and one must always be on guard. People of the second category - those who struggle, like all of us - are sometimes overcome by passions, sometimes conquered by them. Those who fight will be saved, the Lord will not despise their labors and efforts and will send them a Christian death. Carnal people, who do not think at all about the salvation of their souls, will perish unless, of course, they bring repentance before death. The spiritual dispositions of people are different, and they will inherit different glory in the future life. The Apostle Paul writes: There is another glory to the sun, and another glory to the stars... 32, etc. Even the Angels of God are not in the same glory with God. The closest to the Throne of God are the fiery Seraphim, then the Cherubim, then the Thrones, Dominions, Powers, Powers, Principalities, Archangels, Angels. But these nine orders of angels are being improved every second, and so the souls of people, depending on how prepared they were on earth, do not remain in one state, but move from cell to cell. Amen. It seems that no other country has such colossal riches as America. Currently, for example, the millionaire Rockefeller is famous there. In addition to all real estate, he has a billion dollars in money. After all, this is 1,000 million! Imagine 1,000 chests and in each chest there is a million, and next to each chest there is a soldier with a gun: after all, this will have to accommodate a whole regiment of soldiers. Speaking humanly, shouldn't this person be happy? And yet he is the most unfortunate person in the world. He has an incurable disease of the stomach, in which there is a triangular valve, into which food is pumped with gold probes; the rest of the nutritional juices are rubbed into the body. At the same time, he sometimes experiences such excruciating pain that he longs to die, thinking that it will be easier in hell. He spends all his time reading all kinds of newspapers, wanting to find out if any celebrity has appeared in the medical world. And as soon as he reads about some celebrity, he immediately equips a ship and sends for him. But I still haven’t received relief from anyone. It seems strange to you why I started talking about Rockefeller, what do you care about him? And I started talking about it to show you that wealth itself cannot bring happiness to a person. Joy exists only in the Lord, and if a person is far from God, then he is far from true happiness. A teacher from Penza recently visited me with his non-believer son. I told my father: “Without faith, your son will not have any happiness on earth.” He was offended by me. The Apostle Paul, looking through our time, writes: The course of time has passed away, but the faith has died out 33. This means that it is very difficult, especially in our time. We have a lot of thieves. Not those who pick pockets or rob houses, no, these thieves are meaner and more dangerous. They come to you in a gentleman's suit, say loud phrases, and as a result they steal the most precious thing - faith. When a person’s faith is stolen, he asks his teachers: “How can we live now?” “Live according to your own understanding,” they answer. Reason, as we know, without faith is not always a good adviser, and a person begins to follow the desires of his flesh, and falls lower and lower. Children, take care of the holy faith, this is an invaluable treasure, with it you will enter the Kingdom: after all, we do not work for little things, but to conquer the Kingdom, and what a Heavenly one at that! We want to become its citizens. Here I am, a sinful abbot, from morning to night I don’t know peace, but because of what? I really want to get into the Kingdom, otherwise suddenly, God forbid, I end up in hell - my whole life will go down the drain. Amen. August 6, 1909 Transfiguration of the Lord (on the way from the church to the Skete) I wanted to say a word today after the Liturgy, but the day before I did not ask Fr.’s blessing. Archimandrite. He, of course, would willingly allow it, but without blessing, nothing should be done. If worldly people ask advice from more experienced people in matters of more or less importance, then all the more should a monk remain obedient. We had such a case in Skete 34. One monk was getting ready to go to the monastery shop in winter, and a thought came to his mind: there’s no point bothering the Elder and asking about such a trifle, and going to the shop will take no more than a quarter of an hour. True, another thought also came: it was better to be blessed, but the first desire prevailed, and the monk went without asking. It was getting dark. The road went through the forest: he walked and walked, but still could not reach the place. It was already completely dark. What is this? Some kind of village is visible, it turns out that he has already reached Pryskov. Suddenly some monsters appear in front of him. Mark (that was the monk’s name) cried out in fear. As he came closer, he saw that it was a haystack. The poor monk's strength completely left him. He hid in a haystack and began to call for help. The peasants came running, took it out of the stack and brought it to Skete on a cart. Mark's right leg was completely frozen, so the doctor suggested taking it away. But Mark did not agree to the operation, saying: let my leg, which walked of its own free will, now suffer to the end. Indeed, Mark began to endure terrible torment. For nineteen years he lay in bed. His leg turned black and began to rot. There were worms in it, and there was a terrible stench from it. When someone came to visit him, he would say: - Look at the tyrant. “Calm down, brother Mark,” they told him, “the Lord has forgiven you.” - Yes, this, of course, is characteristic of His mercy, but I myself should not forgive myself. Brother Mark acquired great humility. After death, he appeared to one brother and told him that the Lord had mercy on him, and now he was comforted in Paradise. Amen. August 11, 1909 About the Jesus Prayer The Jesus Prayer is of enormous importance in the life of a Christian. This is the shortest path to achieving the Kingdom of Heaven, although this path is long, and having entered it, we must be prepared for sorrows. True, other prayers are also of considerable importance; a person undergoing the Jesus Prayer listens to prayers and hymns in church, performs the obligatory cell rules, but the Jesus Prayer, more likely than others, brings a person into a repentant mood and shows him his weaknesses, therefore, it brings him closer to God. A person begins to feel that he is the greatest sinner; and that’s all God needs. Let's take an example: in Optina there is a hotel about. Mikhail. How to get to it from Skete? It's very simple. Walk straight along the alley, then past the church, through the Holy Gate and to the right, and then go up the stairs - and you will go to your room. But you can go differently. Walk to Zhizdra, take the ferry to the other side, walk to Kozelsk, cross Zhizdra across the bridge and go through the forest to the hotel. Of course, anyone familiar with Optina can easily tell which path is closer. The enemy tries in every possible way to divert the Christian from this prayer; he fears and hates it most of all. Indeed, a person who always performs this prayer is preserved by the power of God unharmed from the snares of the enemy; when a person is completely imbued with this prayer, then it opens the gates of heaven for him, and even though he did not receive special gifts and grace on earth, his soul will boldly cry out: Open for me the gates of righteousness 35 And so the enemy instills various thoughts to confuse the foolish, saying that prayer requires concentration, tenderness, etc., and if this is not the case, then it only angers God; some listen to these arguments and abandon prayer to the delight of the enemy. Anyone who begins the Jesus Prayer is like a high school student who has entered the first grade of the gymnasium and put on his uniform. One might think that he will later graduate from high school, and maybe go to university. But then the temptations of the first lesson come; for example, a student did not understand arithmetic, and his thought says to him: “You didn’t understand the first lesson, much less will you understand the second, and then, lo and behold, they will call you: better tell yourself you’re sick and stay at home.” If the student has wealthy relatives, then the temptations are even greater, the same seductive voice says: “Your aunt and uncle are rich, why should you study, stay with them.” A high school student listens to these speeches, stops studying, wastes time: and several years have passed, and he has grown up to be a dunce and good for nothing. Time has passed, what kind of teaching is there - and they expel him from the gymnasium. The same thing can happen here. You should not listen to tempting thoughts, you should drive them far away from yourself and, without being embarrassed, continue your prayer work. Even if the fruits of this labor are unnoticeable, even if a person does not experience spiritual delight, tenderness, etc., prayer cannot remain ineffective. She silently does her job. When the famous elder Fr. Leo 36, one monk, who had been going through the Jesus Prayer for 22 years, fell into despondency because he did not see any favorable results of his work. He went to the Elder and expressed his grief to him: “Here, father, I’ve been doing the Jesus Prayer for 22 years and I don’t see any point.” – What use do you want to see? – the Elder asked him. “Why, father,” the monk continued, “I read that many, by performing this prayer, acquired spiritual purity, had wondrous visions, and achieved complete dispassion.” And I, the accursed one, sincerely realize that I am the greatest sinner, I see all my depravity and, thinking about this, walking along the road from the monastery to the Skete, I often tremble lest the earth open up and swallow up such a wicked person as me. – Have you ever seen how mothers hold their children in their arms? - Of course, I saw it, father, but how does this apply to me? – Here’s how: if a child is drawn to the fire, and even cries so that it will be given to him, will the mother allow the child to get burned for the sake of his tears? Of course not; she will take him away from the fire. Or women and children went out in the evening to get some air, and one little one reached out to the moon and cried: let him play with it. What should a mother do to console him? After all, you can’t give him the moon. She must take her into the hut, put her in a shaky place, shake her: “Speak up, speak up, be silent!” This is what the Lord does, my child. He is good and merciful, and could, of course, give a person any gifts - but if he does not do this, then it is for our own good. A feeling of repentance is always useful, but great gifts in the hands of an inexperienced person can not only cause harm, but also completely destroy him. A person can become proud, and pride is worse than any vice: God opposes the proud 37. Every gift must be suffered, and then possessed. Of course, if the king gives a gift, then you cannot throw it back in his face; we must accept it with gratitude, but also try to use it profitably. The Lord sometimes grants special spiritual gifts to those with little experience for persistent requests, but he says: “Be careful.” There have been cases when great ascetics, having received special gifts, fell into the depths of destruction for pride and condemnation of others who did not have such gifts. “Still, I would like a little gift from God,” the monk continued, “then my work would be calmer and more joyful.” – Do you think it’s not God’s mercy towards you that you sincerely recognize yourself as a sinner and work hard, saying the Jesus Prayer? Continue to do the same, and if the Lord wills. He will also give you heartfelt prayer. A few days after this conversation through the prayers of Fr. A miracle happened to Leo. One Sunday, when that monk obediently served food to the brethren and, putting a bowl of cabbage soup on the table, said as usual: “Receive, brethren, obedience from me, the poor one,” - he felt something special in his heart, as if some kind of blessed fire had suddenly scorched him - with delight and awe the monk’s face changed and he staggered. The brothers, noticing this, hurried to him. - What's wrong with you, brother? - they asked him in surprise. - Nothing, my head hurts. - Yes, I’m sure I’m crazy; help me, for the Lord’s sake, get to my cell. He was escorted out. He lay down on the bed and completely forgot about food, forgot everything in the world; and only felt that his heart was burning with love for God and for his neighbors. Blissful state! From then on, his prayer became no longer verbal as before, but mental-heartfelt, that is, one that never stops and about which the Holy Scripture says: I sleep, but my heart is vigilant 38 . However, the Lord does not always send intelligent-heartfelt prayer: some pray verbal prayer all their lives, and die with it, without feeling the delights of heartfelt prayer; but such people should not lose heart; for them, spiritual delights will begin in the future life and will never end, but will increase every moment, like the delights of the Seraphim, who with each moment more and more comprehend the perfections of God, saying in awe: “Holy, Holy, Holy!” In the life of Rev. Pimen the Great 39 the following case is known: one day his mother came to this ascetic from distant Africa and wanted to see him. When the Reverend was informed about this, he replied: “Why not,” they objected to him, “this woman who arrived convincingly says that she is your mother.” “I don’t have a mother,” the saint repeated, “but still ask my mother: does she want to see me?” “It’s a strange question, father, if she didn’t want to see you, she wouldn’t have taken such a trip.” - No, ask her where she wants to see me, in this life or in the future!? When this question was proposed to the mother of St. Pimena, she understood its meaning and answered: “I wish to meet my son in the future life,” and she went back. This incident is very edifying. Perhaps if the mother had insisted on seeing her son, she would not have seen him in the future life; when her great son promised to see her beyond the grave, he thereby promised her eternal salvation. From this we can draw the following conclusion: when performing the Jesus Prayer, we may not feel holy delights in this life, but we will feel them in full force in the future. The Jesus Prayer is divided into three, even four steps. The first step is oral prayer; when the mind often runs away, and a person needs to use great effort to collect his scattered thoughts. This is a labor prayer, but it gives a person a repentant mood. The second stage is mental-heart prayer; when the mind and heart, reason and feelings are at the same time, then prayer is performed continuously, no matter what a person does: eat, drink, rest - prayer is still performed. The third stage is creative prayer, which is capable of moving mountains with one word. For example, the Venerable Hermit Mark the Thracian 40 had such a prayer. One day a monk 41 came to him for edification. In the conversation, Mark asked: “Do you now have prayer books that can move mountains?” 42 As he said this, the mountain they were on shook. Saint Mark, turning to her as if she were alive, said: “Stay calm, I’m not talking about you.” Finally, the fourth step is such a high prayer that only Angels have and which is given only to one person for all of humanity. The late Father Fr. Ambrose had an intelligent and heartfelt prayer. This prayer sometimes placed him outside the laws of nature. So, for example, during prayer he was separated from the ground. His cell attendants were honored to see this. In recent years, Father seemed to be ill and reclined in bed all the time, so he could not go to church. All services, except mass, were performed in his cell. Once they were celebrating the all-night vigil, Father was reclining, one cell attendant was standing in front of the icon and reading, and the other was behind Father. Suddenly this last one sees that Fr. Ambrose sits down on the bed, then rises about ten inches, separates himself from the bed and prays in the air. The cell attendant was horrified, but remained silent. When it was his turn to read, another, standing in the place of the first, was granted the same vision. When the service was finished and the cell attendants went to their rooms, one said to the other. – I saw that Father separated from the bed and prayed in the air. “Well, that means it’s true, otherwise I thought it was just me imagining it.” They wanted to ask about. Ambrose, but they were afraid: the Elder did not like it when they said anything about his holiness. He would sometimes take a stick, hit his co-questioner with it and say: “You fool, you fool, why are you asking the sinful Ambrose about this?” - and nothing more. Currently, Father Hilarion 43 is being saved in the Caucasus Mountains. He first lived in a communal monastery on Mount Athos, and now he has left everything and serves God in the feat of hermithood. Another young (30 years old) monk lives with him - Fr. Benedict 44. The elder gave him some instructions and, among other things, to find out how the Jesus Prayer is performed in monasteries. He visited many monasteries - male and female - and came to the sad conclusion: this essential prayer has been abandoned almost everywhere, especially in women's monasteries. Its performers are burning out like candles here and there. Previously, not only monks performed the Jesus Prayer, it was also obligatory for lay people (for example, the famous historical figure Speransky 45, a publisher of laws, practiced the Jesus Prayer and was always joyful, despite his many different works). Now even the monks are distrustful of this feat. One, for example, says to another: - Yes oh. Peter began to say the Jesus Prayer. - Really? Well, he'll probably go crazy. There is a proverb: “There is no smoke without fire.” Indeed, there have been cases when people went crazy, but from what? Yes, they took up this prayer on their own, without blessing, and, having started, they immediately wanted to become a saint; They climbed straight to Heaven, as they say, and then they broke off. We must consider ourselves to be lower than everyone else and strive to receive from the Lord those gifts that the Jesus Prayer undoubtedly brings with it - this is a feeling of repentance, patience and humility. Amen. Notes by unknown author 46 1. Dimitri Brianchaninov 47 (later Bishop Ignatius), being a novice in the Optina monastery, once asked a monk: “Tell me, father, for the benefit of my soul: is your prayer self-propelled?” He, seeing that the question was not proposed out of curiosity, said: “Glory to the Lord, who has vouchsafed me this gift, with which I now never part; but I received it suddenly, as if lightning illuminated me one day after many years of laborious prayer.” 2. According to the remark of Father Barsanuphius, there are monks in the Skete who perform prayer for 10 years, but it is still laborious for them; thoughts diverge. 3. Someone asked Fr. Ambrose: “Which word should we emphasize in the Jesus Prayer? Isn’t Jesus at his word?” “This is a great word,” answered the Elder, “but for us, the weak, it is more useful to emphasize the word “sinner.” 4. Father Benedict was recently in Optina, leaving after the Transfiguration of the Lord. He had long conversations with Father Barsanuphius and when asked about the Jesus Prayer he received the answer: “All servants of God both in the monastery and in the Skete undergo the Jesus Prayer, only the labor prayer, that is, the first stage.” However, at this level there are up to a thousand units; those who undergo this prayer rise, so to speak, from one ruler to another. But a person cannot determine for himself which line he stands on; to count one's virtues would be pharisaical pride. In the Skete there is a custom to receive a blessing from the elder for the night and for the day. In the morning and evening the whole Skete comes to the abbot, and he blesses everyone. The sign of the cross is of great importance. No one knows what the coming night will bring, which is why it is so important to protect yourself with the power of the Honest and Life-Giving Cross. Sometimes terrible things happen in our cells. Not so long ago, in 1907, one schema-monk, Fr. Pamphilus 48. He was previously in military service, participated in the Hungarian War and the Crimean Campaign, and then left everything and went to a monastery. One day he came to the morning very upset, groaning, and his thumb was bandaged. - What's happened? - we ask. - Well, brethren, the demons prevailed at night. I had just gone to bed and had not yet fallen asleep when I saw: a whole line of people in jackets were coming towards me, just like servants in taverns. I think where would these people come from, both doors are locked? I realized then who it was. -Why are you coming here, you damned ones? Who called you? “But we’ll show you,” they answer, “crucify him!” They grabbed me, but I was confused and didn’t have time to cross myself. They started crucifying me. They stretched their arms and legs, and one of the demons hit me with a hammer, apparently trying to hit my palm, but missed, hit my finger, and crushed it all. I felt intense pain and exclaimed: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!” The demons immediately disappeared. I look - there is blood all over my shirt, my finger hurts unbearably. I bandaged it. I see it’s time to go to morning. Believe me, brethren, I will not lie, I feel that the Lord allowed me this because in my youth, while reading, I doubted the possibility of sensory manifestations of demons. Indeed, from the Lives of Saints it is known that demons can also cause bodily harm to a person. On Rev. Anthony the Great 49 demons often attacked him sensually and beat him. One day, appearing in large numbers, they began to beat the Reverend with scorpions, that is, with belts ending in sharp teeth, with which whole pieces of meat are torn out of the body. This was the worst torture of the Romans. Saint Anthony felt unbearable pain and cried out: “Lord, Lord!” The demons have disappeared. Covered in blood, the saint lay motionless, and suddenly the Savior appeared. With one touch He healed St. Antonia. - Lord, where have you been? – the reverend called. Anthony. “Why did He allow His servant to be abused like that?” “I was here,” answered the Lord, “I saw your feat, but did not appear to you earlier, so that you yourself would shame the demons.” There was another case in Optina. One paramedic, Ivan, joined us at the Skete as a novice. Father o. Ambrose took him under his leadership. This Ivan told the following about himself. He lived in the Tula province and once met a sorcerer; he was a Jew by origin, it is not known whether he was baptized or unbaptized. The paramedic wanted to learn the art of magic. He agreed to accept him as his student. The first time he brought a bench and told Ivan to put his hands on it, he did, and the bench rose to the ceiling. The student got scared and started to run, and the teacher, stopping him, said: “Where are you going, coward? You want to comprehend all the wisdom, but you yourself become frightened by an insignificant thing.” Ivan calmed down and returned. Since then the teaching has been successful. Soon he began to see the spirits themselves. On the one hand, it seems strange that disembodied spirits can appear in a sensual image and, moreover, in many different ways: sometimes in the form of a person, sometimes in a cat, even (as this story reminds us of our spiritualistic seances!) in the form of a moonbeam - as the spirit once appeared to a sorcerer with a student. One must think that spirits choose a body for themselves from matter located in space, to which they give one form or another. The paramedic died, but the Lord, who did not want human destruction, brought him to our holy monastery in mysterious ways. He lived with us for some time. One night he comes to Fr. Ambrose and asks the cell attendant to wake up Father. “Well, where did you come at night,” says the cell attendant, “Father is sleeping, he’s tired, come back tomorrow.” “No,” Ivan answers, “Father told me to come at any time of the day or night.” They woke up Fr. Ambrose. He listened carefully to the newcomer, who told him the following. “After the evening rule, I wanted to lie down, when suddenly I saw a man sitting next to me, already of advanced years. My doors were tightly locked, therefore no one could enter. I guessed it was a demon. And he tells me: “But you acted very ignoblely: you were our friend, we already told you some secrets, and suddenly you abandoned everything and became attached to this old man.” - What should I do? - I ask. “But here’s the thing: just as you abandoned us, so abandon him.” Just wish it, and in an instant I will take you from here to your former mentor. - Yes, I don’t have a fur coat, but it’s frosty outside. – Don’t worry: the horses and the fur coat are all there. “We’ll climb over the fence, and there’s already a troika waiting there.” “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner,” I exclaimed, and the demon instantly disappeared. But an inexplicable fear came over me, I thought: what if he comes back again and strangles me, so I ran to you, Father.” Among the spirits, not everyone is equal, as in the army - there are soldiers, officers, generals and generals above generals. So it is in the demonic army. There is a well-known Gospel story about the healing of a demon-possessed Gadarene 50. When the Lord asked the demon living in the man what your name was, he answered: legion. In the Roman army, the legion consisted of 6,400 people, therefore, the demoniac was the leader of the legion of demons. When Fr. Ambrose listened to the monk and then said: - It’s good that you came, you had an eight-legion demon, terrible power, and almost no one gets rid of it. - How did I get rid of him? “The Lord told me that you were in danger, and I stood up to pray.” Thank God that you remembered His terrible and holy name and cast out the demon with it 51. What happened to this monk later is unknown. He left for military service and never returned to the monastery. We, believers, have a great weapon - this is the power of the Life-giving Cross. Just think, it becomes scary for non-believers, they are completely helpless: it’s the same as if a person completely unarmed went into a dense forest at night. Yes, he will be torn to pieces by the first animal that comes along, and he has nothing to defend himself with. We will not be afraid of demons. The power of the sign of the cross and the name of Jesus, terrible for the enemies of Christ, will save us from the evil snares of the devil. Amen. December 26, 1909 Christmastide Now I’m spending mournful 52 and will tell you about it. Three years ago she and her husband visited me (she was originally from Kursk, very rich merchants); life was going so well then. And now she has already buried her mother and almost buried herself. The women's business is difficult with trade, it went bankrupt, and the total capital was left at about forty thousand. I was walking one evening, two people attacked me, one took my money, six hundred rubles, and the other hit me on the head with something. Since then I have had a constant dull pain in my head. Now he wants to liquidate the business, otherwise they are threatening to kill everyone. Well, I don’t advise you to stop trading (this applied to A.P. Karaseva), the future will show, but now feed yourself - and thank God. Yes, it is difficult to trade, and we are now trading, but differently. We save souls, feed them spiritually, and we ourselves cling to their holy prayers and are saved. So everything goes round and round. For example, I wouldn’t exchange this prayer room, my corner, for any magnificent royal palace, like in Moscow, for example, the Kremlin. What halls there are, malachite columns, marble, luxury! But it’s still better with me, and not with me, and people lived in dungeons - everywhere it’s good with Christ. Have you heard the story about Menshikov? Once Peter I was walking, and a boy with a tray met him. -What's on your tray? - Pancakes? Let me try. - Ate it. - Nothing, pancakes are good. Where are you from? - From the peasants of the Oryol province. - Come to me, do you know me? “No,” said the boy, “should I bring some pancakes?” Tsar Peter 1 had a shrewd mind and knew how to choose people. And so Alexander Danilovich Menshikov was made generalissimo of all troops. One of his daughters was the royal bride. Under Catherine I, Menshikov reached full bloom, but under Peter II there were slanderers, and Menshikov himself warmed his hands - the spirit of love of money took possession of him. One day they were waiting for Tsar Peter II to go to church, they prepared the throne, but he didn’t come. Then Menshikov himself took his place. Although there were no telephones at that time, this quickly reached the king. He became very angry and ordered that Menshikov’s entire estate be described to the treasury (there were 125 poods of gold in the belongings alone), and that he and his family be sent into exile. While Alexander Danilovich stood in the royal place, the blessed one kept jumping around him on one leg and shouting: “Danilych is the king, Danilych is the king!” Everyone was very surprised at this and asked the blessed one what it meant, and he kept repeating: “Danilych is a king!” Menshikov's wife died before reaching Berezov. Her grave still exists in Kazan. His daughters lived with him. In exile, Menshikov completely changed, he would light a lamp or a candle and begin to read the Psalter (which is not customary for us to read - it is, they say, only good for old women to read for the dead), and often, often repeats: It is good for me, for you have humbled me, O Lord 53. Under Peter III, Menshikov was forgiven, but did not receive forgiveness and died in Berezovo, and his daughters returned to St. Petersburg and were married off. We believe that Menshikov was awarded the royal crown in the village of God, as stated in the revelation of John the Theologian 54. Apparently, this is what the blessed one predicted to him with the words: “Danilych is a king.” Why did I say all this? Moreover, these royal crowns have been prepared for you too, if you manage to use them. How to use it? It's a long story. In short – fulfillment of the Gospel Commandments, and most importantly – love. The entire Law and Prophets are on it: do not condemn anyone, do not offend anyone, pray according to our strength and ability. When you reach the end of life, which is unknown when, sooner or later, you can receive royal crowns and become kings and priests of the Most High God forever and ever 55. Now, of course, I don’t see these crowns, but you can get them. The following story is known: one day Tsar Ivan the Terrible was on his way to mass. The people, taking off their hats, bowed low to him, only St. Basil the Blessed 56 was jumping on one leg, not paying attention to the king. “Vasenka, take off your hat, the king is coming,” they told him. “There’s the king, there’s the king,” said the Blessed One, pointing at some commoner. They never convinced him to bow to the king. And this is because with his spiritual eyes he saw the royal crown not over Ivan the Terrible, but over a commoner. God's Providence is marvelous, leading man to the true path. The famous rich Antimonovs, merchants with millions in turnover, lived in Kursk. They had an only son, Ivan, who constantly strived to enter the monastery, but his parents certainly wanted to marry him. Finally, the mother dies and before her death she says to her son: “Go, Vanya, to the monastery.” But a year passes, and the father, having found a rich, young, beautiful bride, goes to look at her for his son. In the past, there was no reasoning in this matter, but whatever the parents said, that’s what they did. The father returned, and the son asked: - Well, darling, is the bride good? - When will you bless me to go and see it? - Why, my dear, I should get married, I still need to see the bride. “There’s no need to look at her, because although there is a bride, it’s not about your honor.” - Yes, I’ll marry her myself. “Get married, my dear, and let me go fishing.” He sat down and went, and instead of fishing, he went straight to Optina. He was riding in a troika, and the coachman accidentally drove past the hotel. Father Gostinnik went out to the sound of the bell and saw: a troika was rolling and a worldly man was sitting on it, and on his head was a miter. - Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me! What is this, because I’m fully sane and not sleeping! – I ran to the hotel: so and so, he says, that’s what I saw. -What are you, father, in your mind? - Let's go to the porch and take a look. We left. At this time the coachman turned the horses and drove up. Antimonov comes out and bows. - Yes, the coachman accidentally drove forward... Why are you, father, looking at me like that? - What did you have on your head? The guesthouse went to Fr. Archimandrite Moses 57 and told him everything. But oh. Moses was not told about this: - I don’t know what to tell you, go to Father Fr. Macarius. And Father Fr. Macarius met him himself: - Well? Have you seen the archimandrite? What a miter he’s wearing! Archimandrite Isaac 58 will be great. This is what happened later, but Antimonov was not told anything about it at that time. The father was so angry with his son that he did not see him for three years. Then he came and said: “Come on, show me the disobedient one.” And he liked it so much in Optina that he almost stayed himself. But Father Fr. Macarius told him: “No, you live the way you live, you don’t have much life left.” Father Isaac ruled for thirty-eight years. The Lord leads people to salvation in different ways. Amen. December 27, 1909 Christmastide Glory to Thee, Lord, that we have all gathered together again. I love these evenings: I rest my soul on them. I alone love to sit here in this cell: many have found peace of mind here. Our great writer Gogol was reborn spiritually under the influence of conversations with Elder Macarius, which took place in this very cell. A great change occurred in him. As a whole, unbroken nature, he was not capable of compromise. Realizing that it was impossible to live the way he lived before, he turned to Christ without looking back and rushed to the Heavenly Jerusalem. He wrote to his friends from Rome and the holy places he visited, and these letters formed a whole book, for which his contemporaries condemned him. Gogol had not yet begun to live in Christ, he only wished for this life, and already the world, hostile to Christ, raised a persecution against him and passed a cruel sentence on him, recognizing him as half-crazy. While in Russia various literary trifles like Chernyshevsky and Co. expressed their regret about the death of Gogol’s genius, such great minds as the historian of German and world literature Scherr assessed him differently. A Lutheran, a German, not familiar with Russian life and the Russian soul, Scherr expresses, among other things, surprise that at a time when Gogol’s genius was unusually developed, his horizons expanded and his thought rushed into infinity, his compatriots did not understand him, but condemned him. And every soul striving for a new life, life in Christ, experiences a great struggle with internal enemies. These temptations are inevitable according to the word of the Savior: They persecuted me, and they will persecute you too. But the Lord immediately consoles: They have kept my word, and they will keep yours 59. We need to approach these temptations differently: we need to persistently fight internal enemies, defeating them with the help of God’s grace, and forgive external enemies. There is no need to be afraid of this struggle. The Lord strengthens us in it and gives us such unspeakable joys that compared to one minute of them all worldly joys are nothing. I say this from my own experience. There was a time when I lived, I won’t say in the alienation of God, but like everyone else lives. Through a whole series of coincidences, which seemed to me then simple accidents and which I understood only later, the Lord led me to spiritual rebirth. This leading of God began as follows. Once in Kazan, during Great Lent, I delayed fasting until the last week. On Thursday of Holy Week I went to the military church to confess. On the way, I noticed a small church of strange architecture unknown to me. When I asked what the name of this church was, I was told that it was the Ivanovo Monastery in the name of John the Baptist, founded by Ivan the Terrible. I entered there and began to inquire where the priests live here? (I didn’t know then that they were called hieromonks.) “Who exactly do you want?” - they ask. - “A priest to confess.” They pointed out to me an elderly hieromonk, Fr. Sergius. I approached him. -What do you want? - asks. I explained my desire and confessed to him. After confession I ask: – To the abbot of our monastery, Fr. Barsanuphius. - Why is it difficult? After all, in our city the relics of St. Barsanuphius rest; you should go there to pray. Since then, I began to visit this monastery often, to the great embarrassment of my colleagues. And from that time on, the world turned against me. Countless rumors began about my strange lifestyle. -What happened to him? He, accepted in many aristocratic houses, at the Obukhovs, at the Molostvovs, finds pleasure in conversations and drinking tea with the monks. - He's just crazy! “However, he is pleased with his superiors, his service is going well, rank after rank, distinction after distinction,” a timid voice rises in my defense. - And he occupies a responsible post: the mobilization of the entire army of eastern Russia - a matter that requires constant vigilance - is in his hands, and he copes with it quite well. “Well, I don’t know how this happens, but he just met the monks.” The last argument seemed so convincing that the voices that tried to defend me fell silent, and everyone calmed down on one conclusion: I feel sorry for him, and he was a smart man. These and similar rumors further contributed to my distance from the world. But ten whole years passed amid temptations and searches before I found the true path. However, during this difficult time the Lord did not leave me without consolation: I experienced moments of such spiritual delight that I would gladly agree to have them cut and burn my body, do whatever they wanted with it, just to preserve these delights for me. Over the course of three years I visited many monasteries, but did not find a single one that was in spirit. You can’t live like this anymore, but how? There was no one to consult with. Three more years passed in such languor. At this time I traveled along the Volga, visited many monasteries, but none of them attracted me. Where to go? Everyone in Kazan knows me, but I would like to go away from my family, even to Upper Egypt, where no one knows me. One of my acquaintances, a very kind-hearted man, seeing my quest, told me: “Rely in everything on the will of God, do not do anything yourself. Tell me, Lord, I’ll go 60 on the way to the forge - and you’ll see that everything will work out.” And indeed, after his words I calmed down completely. According to his strength, he prayed, reading morning and evening prayers, sometimes adding a canon. I didn’t have time to pray much due to my service duties. One day I came to the headquarters with a report to the boss, who came at nine o’clock, but that hour came, and he did not come. I decided to wait, but at that time the orderly appeared and told me that the boss would not be there today, he was not feeling well. There was nothing to do, so I started wandering around the headquarters. Walking along the corridor, I noticed a book with a brown cover in one of the compartments on the table. He took it, looked at what it was called - “Faith and Reason” (a magazine published in Kharkov by Archbishop Ambrose), began to leaf through: Theological Department, Missionary, News and Notes. I read: “In the Kaluga province, not far from the city of Kozelsk, there is Optina Pustyn, and in it there is a great elder, Fr. Ambrose, to whom thousands of pilgrims flock daily from all over Russia for the resolution of their perplexities.” “So who will tell me which monastery to enter,” I thought and decided to take a vacation. - It’s time, it’s high time to get some air - you’ve been sitting around for ten years. “And your health doesn’t seem to be good,” said the chief of staff. “Your comrades have already ridden twice, even three times.” I will report to my superiors, and you will be given a decent allowance from the economic department. How long do you want to be on vacation, 28 days or two months? “Yes, I’ve already traveled along it,” I answer, but in my heart I think: I’ll go straight to Optina to see Father Ambrose. I arrive, go to the Skete, look for the monks - there is no one. Well, I think they all died, or what? A layman comes towards me, I turn to him: “Please tell me, where are the monks?” - “They are in their cells, and you, right, are going to Father Ambrose?” - “Yes, that’s what I need.” A layman showed me the way. I'm going to Father. I come and think: this is the kind of secluded monastery I need. There were a lot of people, we had to wait. Finally Father accepted me. I expressed to him my desire to enter a monastery and asked him to indicate which one. “The trial must continue for two more years,” said the Elder, “and then come to me, I will receive you.” How much salary do you receive? - Wow! Well, here's your obedience: donate to such and such churches. By the way, Father named the Church of the Savior at the Top, where he ordered to send 200 rubles. Until now, I have not yet understood why this particular church; but, of course, this also had its deep meaning. - Should I resign now? - I ask. - No, wait two years. God, how the enemy rebelled against me during these two years! Arriving in Kazan, I sold all the furniture, mirrors, carpets, paintings and settled in furnished rooms. There was a small room, which was quite cozy. In order not to live completely alone, I took in the son of a bellhop, a very good boy of about twelve. Somewhere now, I don’t know, they said that he entered a monastery. Two years later I again went to Father Ambrose, who at that time was in Shamordin. Having met me, Father said: “Now resign and come to us on the occasion of the Nativity of Christ, I will tell you what to do.” When I returned to Kazan, my boy was very happy, he did not know that he would soon part with me forever. I quickly began to liquidate my affairs and resigned. My boy and I are sitting over tea. “And I saw you, Pavel Ivanovich, in a dream,” he said. – Yes, it’s very strange: I see that you are walking from the city towards the cemetery in all white and singing the irmos “Water passed through like dry land and escaped the Egyptian evil” 61 and woke up. Subsequently, this dream was interpreted to me: the city is the world, the cemetery, which in Kazan was located on the eastern side, meant the Mountainous Jerusalem; I went to die for the world: white clothes are a whitening of the soul, since at that time my decision had already matured to leave everything. Irmos “Water passed through like dry land” is sung during the funeral service for infants and means the funeral service for the world. I left Kazan for Optina on December 17, the day of the holy youths Ananias, Azariah and Misail, who were saved in the Babylonian oven: on this day I got rid of the bonds of the world. Arrived in Moscow on December 21. I had three days left at my disposal, so I decided to stop. On the day of remembrance of St. Peter went to the all-night vigil at the Cathedral of Christ the Savior. There was twilight in the church, especially in the dome. I didn’t like the singing, I began to feel tired and impatient and decided to go to another church and look for good singers. A gentleman stood next to me. – Tell me, please, do you have a church in Moscow with good singers? – I asked him. - Yes, there is a wonderful choir here too. – But I don’t like it at all. – And this is because there is no regent himself. He'll probably come soon. Be patient. I thought: I’m going to go to a monastery, I need to get used to patience. And he stayed. At this time they sang the irmos “Christ is born, glorify” 62. I suddenly felt that this applied specifically to me, as did the further words: “...our exalted horn...” But what is this? The singing changed completely: it turned out that the regent had arrived. In an inexpressible spiritual delight, which I had never experienced before, I attended the all-night vigil. As much as its first half was painful for me, the second half was solemn and joyful. The next day I went to mass, I don’t know which church; when the priest, holding the Chalice, exclaimed: “Always, now and ever, and unto ages of ages,” the choir sang: “Let our lips be filled with Thy praise, O Lord...” For the holiday I was in the monastery. Later, I understood the meaning of what had previously seemed to me a simple accident: the all-night vigil in Moscow was an image of my life, first sad and difficult, then joyful in Christ. This is our life too. First you need to bear the chagrin of the cross, and then experience the glory of the cross, as St. Isaac of Syria. May our lips be filled with Your praise, O Lord! Yes, I repeat once again: anyone who just thinks of taking the right path has to endure a lot of all kinds of temptations. Blessed and blessed are those who have entered the right path. But how to stay on this path when the enemy attacks from all sides? – By fulfilling the Gospel Commandments and the Jesus Prayer. If someone offends you, be patient. The enemy teaches to take revenge, and Christ from above says: “Forgive.” “I don’t want to listen to you, Lord, it’s too hard for me,” and he will tell another person something that he himself will be horrified after. The Jesus Prayer accustoms us to meekness, kindness, and patience. May we, Lord, if not love our enemies, then at least pray for them and, recognizing our deep weakness, forgive them. Many of our great writers have a desire for a different, better life, but they are looking for this life in the wrong place. Hence the dissatisfaction and melancholy expressed in their works. For example, Lermontov. He is tormented by the vanity and aimlessness of life and wants to fly away, but he cannot - he has no wings. From his poem “I, Mother of God, now with prayer...” 63 it is clear that he did not understand real prayer. The Prophet says: And let his prayer be a sin 64. Indeed, what does Lermontov express, what does he pray for? Not with gratitude or repentance... What kind of prayer is that? A person does not think about his salvation at all, does not repent and does not thank God. Sad state of mind! He himself almost calls his soul “desert.” It was this deserted soul that finally reached such blindness that it began to chant the demon. Two poems that are truly beautiful in concept stand out in particular: “Angel” and “In a difficult moment of life.” The last poem expresses real prayer, in which “you believe and cry, and so easily, easily.” But these glimpses did not illuminate the poet’s desolate soul, and he ended his life in such a terrible way - he was killed in a duel. When I was in Mukden 65 I met an engineer who was constructing a tunnel in the mountains. His last name was Razgildeev, although his character did not at all correspond to his last name. His ancestor was the Tatar prince Urus Gildei, who later became a citizen of the Moscow prince. Razgildeev was a comprehensively educated person: he graduated from the university in two faculties - medical and philological; This seemed to him not enough, he went to the Faculty of Transport, graduated; wanted to study the arts. His father was rich, his son was alone, and he was given complete freedom. I went to Italy to study singing. He developed a wonderful voice and became an artist. He took up music and, returning to Russia, graduated from the conservatory. He spoke nine languages. Despite such an extensive education, Razgildeev felt dissatisfaction and strived to study more. We often talked with him. We used to go to the mountains and talk and talk... One time he asked me: – Tell me, father, why does our writers show such sadness and dissatisfaction in their works? This is also noticeable among famous composers: Beethoven, Mendelssohn, Meyerbeer... In music this dissatisfaction is especially clearly expressed. – Because they do not live the life that the Gospel commandments prescribe. - You think? Have you heard of the famous cantor of the Warsaw Jewish Synagogue, who receives 50 thousand rubles a year? - Why so much? - For a wonderful voice. Yes, I’ll reproduce it for you now. And he started the gramophone. God, what boundless despair, darkness and horror it was! A whole hell in the soul is a state that is quite understandable for the soul of a people rejected by God. The Apostle Paul says about the Jews that the remnant of them will be saved, 66 but the Jews who have not turned to Christ are the future inhabitants of hell. Can they have true joy when they are here on earth in a dark basement, what is their Jewish faith? The cantor's singing made me despondent. When I was returning home, I heard a different kind of singing. It was a small amateur choir singing, and it was conducted by a post office official, a deeply religious man. It was night. The stars were shining brightly, the air was warm and quiet, and only a light breeze slightly swayed the treetops. And in this quiet air the calm and touching sounds of church singing suddenly spread. They sang a canon, I don’t remember what voice, but never before have these tunes seemed so captivating to me. Whether they really sang well or just seemed so to me after the complete despair of the Warsaw cantor’s singing - I don’t know, but I stood there for a long time, listening to the singing. Once Razgildeev told me: – Father, I want to study more, but I haven’t quite decided what exactly. What advice do you have for me? – There is one great science that you need to study. – Oh, you’re probably talking about astronomy - it’s really interesting, at one time I wanted to go to the Pulkovo Observatory. - No, I’m talking about something else. - So, perhaps you think that I need to study oriental languages? And I thought about this and wanted to enter the Lazarev Institute 67. - Well, why go there when there is such an institute in Vladivostok. – Yes, but in Moscow the program is broader. - So what is science? Don’t torment me, father, tell me. – This is a great science, the science of saving the soul and achieving the Kingdom of Heaven. This is what you need to tackle. – Yes, let’s assume that’s true, but how? For example, I cannot keep fasts. - Let's assume not. You say: go to church. And frankly speaking, it does not satisfy me at all. I really love your service, you serve without pretentiousness, simply, but it doesn’t make an impression on me. - Yes, or at least I would like to believe. I accept the dogmas of the Church in their entirety, but how can I obtain real faith? – Such faith can be obtained only by fulfilling all the commandments of Christ. In the Gospel of John, the Lord says: Try the Scriptures, for in them you think that you have eternal life: and this is what testifies about Me 68. This is what every unbeliever should be advised to do: try and see. Is Christ God, or a great prophet, philosopher. We had such conversations often. I don’t know what happened to Razgildeev now; three years ago I wrote to him, but received no answer. We had similar conversations with Dr. Valyashko. This was also a seeker, but there were few such people. It was impossible to have spiritual conversations with others; these people were too attached to the earth. “And what are you saying there,” they will say, “let’s better have a drink and a snack.” They spent their whole lives in base pleasures, not even allowing the thought that other joys, other delights could exist. And this coarsening of the soul occurs from complete ignorance of the Gospel, from indifference to the Church. When I was in high school, there were two comrades in my class, desperate naughty people. In general, they were good guys, and their pranks were never bad. But then they began to notice that the boys had changed: no longer unnoticed by their previous antics, they began to spend all their free time from classes reading. You might ask: “What are you reading?” And you will get an answer: Pushkin, Nikitin, or even one of our great writers. Under the influence of reading, even their faces changed, became more serious and meaningful. If reading great writers so ennobles the soul, then won’t reading the Word of God and the Holy Fathers even more ennoble and sanctify it? Penetration into the Holy Scriptures introduces a person into the depth of knowledge of God and gives him such bliss that no earthly joy can compare. The external world with its beauties has a beneficial effect on a person, and a soul capable of enjoying the beauty of the world is an exalted soul, but a person who has achieved perfection contemplates in his soul such beauty, before which the visible world is worth nothing. The Lord said about the soul of a person who loves God: We will come to him and make an abode with him 69 . It is incomprehensible how the Lord Himself fits into a small heart, and where the Lord is, there is Paradise, there is the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom of God is within you 70. There are many Orthodox monasteries on Mount Athos. There are also many hermits there, laboring in caves and rocks. One hermit had a cave on a high mountain. It offered a wonderful view of the Mediterranean Sea, shores covered with luxurious vegetation, and distant Rhodes. At night, millions of stars lit up in the sky, and the moon bathed everything in its silver light. And the ascetic went into the depths of his cave and did not want to look at anything. The beauty of the visible world no longer touched his soul, which contemplated the ineffable beauty of the invisible world. In the Kiev Pechersk Lavra there lived one ascetic who made the only window of his cell so that the visible light would not prevent him from contemplating the invisible. I knew one young man who passionately loved music; when the concert began, he sat at a distance, covered his face with his hands and was completely immersed in listening to his favorite music, not wanting to see or hear anything extraneous. But we often get used to the Holy Scriptures and prayer, and they no longer have an effect on us. Our heart grows rough. The great ancient scientist mathematician Pythagoras was also a famous astronomer in his time. He is the creator of the long-standing planetary system hypothesis. Pythagoras assumed that the Earth occupies a central place in cosmic space, and seven planets revolve around it, each making its own sound when moving, but together they make up a scale. Pythagoras explains that at birth we hear this wonderful music, but gradually we become so accustomed to it that we no longer pay attention to it, just as we do not notice, for example, the air we breathe. Likewise, we do not notice the miracles that continuously take place in front of us. Let us purify our senses and see that the spiritual life that surrounds us, and especially the spiritual life that takes place within us, is filled with unspeakable miracles and inconceivable 71 secrets of the wisdom of God. Our Earth is small in comparison with other planets, but of all of them it represents, as it were, the head of the human body; and just as the head contains the most important thing - the brain, so there are people on Earth - the most important creation of God. But let us not only be listeners to the Divine words of our Savior, we will try to the best of our ability to fulfill His commandments, and the Lord will not despise our labors, and the Kingdom of God will come to our hearts and no one will take our joy from us 72 . Amen. My youth was noisy and fun; there was a lot of money, do what you want. But then one day I see a strange dream. Clearly, as if in reality, some old man comes to me, comes close, takes my hand and, pointing to the clock that stood opposite my bed, asks: “Half past six,” I answer. - In exactly three years you will die. – And the elder asks again: - In three years you will die. – And the elder asks again: “It’s half past seven,” I answer, already irritated. - In three years you will die. I woke up, lit the fire, looked at the clock. It was 35 minutes past six, therefore, the appearance of the elder was just at half past seven. I got dressed, called, and ordered the samovar to be brought. - Why did you, Pavel Ivanovich, deign to get up so early today? - said the footman. - Yes, I don’t want to sleep. I poured myself some tea but didn’t drink it; Do I really only have three years left to live? And there is death. Lord, how hard and scary! At about 12 o'clock one of my comrades came to see me. – You know the news: a picnic is being organized, a large company is gathering, it will be fun! I wanted to sign you up directly without asking, but then I finally decided to ask, will you go? “If you had signed me up without asking, you would have had to pay your own money!” - How, since when did you become Plyushkin? “I didn’t become Plyushkin, but I’m not feeling well.” My head hurts a lot, it’s not time for a picnic. - Oh, you poor thing! Well, of course, a sick person does not enjoy pleasure. He left soon. Since then, the thought of death has not left me. I began to avoid the community of my comrades and run around for all sorts of entertainment. However, I did not immediately break with everything. The world is such a monster that if you turn sharply, it will tear it apart. And so I began to gradually free myself from the bonds of the world, it became easier and easier, and finally, I was completely freed from it. I stopped visiting most of my former acquaintances. He left two or three pious families, where he visited occasionally. Three years passed, September 17th arrived, a memorable day for me on which I saw the elder. Early in the morning I went to a monastery, confessed and received the Holy Mysteries. After communion I stand in the church and think: I’m going to crash! But I didn't crash. However, the words of the elder came true: I really died that day, but I died for the world... 73 Amen. At first the Lord created the invisible world, that is, the Angels. The blessed spirits were divided into nine orders: Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Powers, Powers, Principalities, Archangels and Angels. But the created spirits did not all remain faithful to God; a third of them fell away from their Creator, and from the good they became evil, from the bright they became dark. To compensate for the loss, man was created. Now people who work for God, upon death, enter the ranks of the Angels and, depending on their merits, become either simply Angels, or Archangels, etc. This visible world will stand until the number is replenished, and then it will be the end. It is only unknown when this time will come, tomorrow or in a year, or in millions of centuries. Grant, Lord, that we all may be included in this number, so that we may remain with our Savior forever. But to enter the Kingdom, first of all you must be humble. How to obtain humility? How to learn this great art? We must pray to the Lord to send us this gift. In one of the evening prayers we read: “Lord, give me humility, chastity and obedience.” Humility likens us to God Himself, who humbled Himself, being obedient even to the point of death, death on the cross 74 . The Lord Himself is the teacher of humility: Learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart 75. Humility can be acquired through obedience. A person who submits his will to his spiritual leader overcomes pride and acquires humility. This is why people, especially monks, need obedience. The following case is known. In one deserted place an old man labored. One day a young monk came to him, asking him to live with him to teach him virtues. The elder agreed on the condition that the monk would obey him unquestioningly. One day the elder told his disciple to take a dry stick, stick it into the ground at a distance of five miles from their cells, and go water it every day. The monk performed everything exactly. Every day he watered this stick, and to do this he had to walk ten miles through the hot sun desert with a heavy bucket in his hand. The spirit of evil, unable to tolerate humility, began to tempt the young ascetic with such thoughts: “What are you doing, why are you listening to the crazy old man? You left the monastery to learn the highest virtues, and he forces you to do the most ridiculous thing, unnecessary for anyone.” But the monk did not succumb to these temptations, seeing through them the machinations of the enemy, and continued to meekly carry out his obedience. Once he came to water his branch and was horrified: in his place there was a magnificent oasis - date palms rose high to the sky, more delicate plants grew under them, protected by the shade of the palms from the scorching rays of the sun, and in the middle of the oasis there was a source of clean, transparent water. Beside himself with joy and surprise, the monk came to his elder and exclaimed: “Father, you have performed a miracle!” – and told him everything in detail. After listening to him, the elder remarked: “Child, it was not I who performed the miracle, but you, by your obedience. Know: nothing pleases God more than complete obedience without reasoning, since it gives a person humility, and this is the height of virtues. For God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." 76. Amen. April 18, 1910 Easter I congratulate you, children, on the Bright Feast of the Resurrection of Christ. Great is this day: This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad on it 77 . Of course, you were all at mass today; With us it is celebrated solemnly. But I was not able to be at work. In the morning I completed the rule and was just about to leave when I felt so weak that I could hardly get up from the sofa to go to bed. I had to let the archimandrite know that I would not be at the Liturgy. It’s hard to lose your service on this day. However, the Lord punished me for some arrogance. Following the example of previous years, it was necessary to perform Matins privately, but I relied on my own strength and went to the church. Matins stood well, but then things got worse. Now I feel much better and am glad that I can receive you. How important it is to rely in everything on the will of God, to firmly believe in His Divine Providence, which arranges everything for good! This Easter I was consoled by the arrival of two monks who used to live with us and then were transferred to St. Petersburg. They miss the Optina Monastery; with their meager means, you often can’t come - the road is expensive. They complain: there is no money, but if they had a lot of it, they would often visit Saint Optina Pustyn. I answered them: “If you had a lot of money, believe me, you wouldn’t come to us at all.” Rich people often forget the one thing they need 78 and spend all their time only trying to satisfy their countless whims. One ancient legend has survived. In a certain deserted place a monk named Daniel 79 labored. One day he happened to visit a miner named Eulogius. This man was poor, but unusually kind. He gave his daily earnings to those in need, the door of his wretched hut was open to everyone. He greeted Daniel cordially and treated him to whatever he could. - How do you live? - asked the monk. - Yes, thank God! I don’t worry about tomorrow, according to the Savior’s word, and the Lord never leaves me. He generously sends not only for my needs, but also for the share of the poor brethren. The monk talked for a long time with the miner. The next day, when parting, he gave the monk food for the journey. Touched by his soul and overjoyed, Daniel returned to his desert, reasoning to himself on the way: “If only this man had wealth, how much good he would do!” Arriving at his cell, the monk began to beg the Savior to send wealth to the miner. During his fervent prayer, the Lord appeared to Daniel and said: – Do you guarantee Me for the soul of this man that it will not perish after receiving wealth? - I guarantee it, Lord! - the monk exclaimed. “Okay, let it be your way,” said the Savior, and the vision disappeared. Soon after this, the miner Eulogius found the richest gold deposits, gold lying in large ingots on the surface. Evlogy thought: what should I do? he went to the village, bought a horse, then transported all the gold to his wretched hut. The next day, he no longer accepted those beggars who, out of old habit, pushed at his door. After some time, he quit his business and moved to Constantinople. Here he began to lead a luxurious life and became known even to the emperor. In the magnificent palace of the former miner, glorious feasts were often held, but the poor and wretched no longer received anything from the rich man's meal. On the contrary, there were angry dogs in his yard that did not allow anyone outside. One day, the Lord again appeared to the hermit Daniel during fervent prayer, but His face, turned to the hermit, was stern: “Your fasting, prayers and kneeling are unpleasant to Me, since the soul of My servant Eulogius is perishing. You vouched for Me for him: return his soul to Me now!” In fear and trembling, Daniel fell to the ground before the Lord, asking for His mercy, and the Lord commanded him to go to Constantinople. The monk left his desert and after a difficult journey reached the great city. Here he began to look for Eulogius and learned that he was now an important nobleman. He came to a magnificent palace, but was driven away. The monk nevertheless decided to get a date. And so, when the magnificent chariot of Eulogius stopped at his porch, Daniel, making his way through the crowd, fell on his knees before the nobleman, asking him to listen to him, the same ordered the servants to drive him away as quickly as possible. Then the monk saw that nothing could affect Eulogius, and the only remedy left was prayer. And so, with hot tears and a contrite soul, Daniel cried out to the Lord, and was heard. It so happened that Eulogius somehow angered the emperor, and he sentenced him to death. Having abandoned everything, Eulogius took flight and, after many wanderings, finally arrived at the place of his former residence. And again, by the sweat of his brow, he began to earn his bread and again became compassionate towards the poor and unfortunate. When Daniel found out about this, he thanked God and exclaimed: Now do you let go of your servant, Master! 80 - and soon fell asleep in the Lord. We had a similar case in Kazan. There lived here an officer who was unusually pious. He often went to the monastery to pray to God and donated to the monastery as much as he could from his meager funds. Either he will bring a rug, or a lamp, or a cake for forty kopecks as a gift to one of the brethren. Everyone loved him, and one of the schema-monks of the monastery was especially happy for him. And so this schema-monk began to ask the Lord to send wealth to the officer. The prayer was answered. The daughter of a millionaire manufacturer liked this officer and he married her. And then a sharp change occurred in him. He retired, began to lead a luxurious, idle life and never looked into the monastery again, unless he rushed past on his trotters with his wife. But through the prayers of the schema-monk, the Lord did not allow His servant to perish: the former officer went bankrupt and again returned to his former way of life. It follows from this that one should not desire wealth for oneself, but should thank God for what He sends. You have everything you need and be happy. The Lord will never leave you, my children, if you strive to the best of your ability to fulfill His holy commandments. The commandments of the Lord are not grievous 81. May the Lord and the Queen of Heaven, the Intercessor and Helper of all Christians, help us. Amen. Life is bliss. These words may seem strange. How can life be called bliss if there are failures, disappointments, and disappointments at every step? How much grief people endure! Life, some say, is work, and often thankless work, what kind of bliss is there? Life will become blessed for us when we learn to fulfill the commandments of Christ and love Christ. Then we will live joyfully, joyfully endure the sorrows that come our way, and ahead of us will shine with indescribable light the Sun of Truth - the Lord, to whom we will strive. All the Gospel commandments begin with the word “blessed”: Blessed are the meek... blessed are the merciful... blessed are the peacemakers..! 82 From here it follows as an undoubted truth that fulfilling the commandments brings people the highest happiness. The history of Christian martyrs confirms this with particular clarity. Whatever torments they endured, whatever tortures they were subjected to, whole hell arose against them. They cut and burned the bodies of Christ's confessors, tore them into pieces, threw the exhausted into stinking dungeons, and sometimes into crypts filled with dead bones and all sorts of vermin. Sometimes, to further intimidate them, they were shown the dead rising from their graves and rushing towards them, and the martyrs rejoiced. From the countless host of martyrs, let us remember at least St. Dorotheus is 83. She was subjected to terrible torture, wanting to force her to renounce Christ, but the holy martyr remained unshakable; Now, finally, she is given a death sentence. Hearing about him, St. Dorothea is filled with such indescribable joy that her face shines. The surprised tormentor asks: – What is the reason for your joy? Now you will give up your life - and suddenly you rejoice? “By dying for Christ,” answered the saint, “I will receive eternal life in the Kingdom of my Bridegroom.” “Send us fruits from this Kingdom,” the tormentor said with a laugh. The saint promised. As soon as the head of the holy martyr fell under the blow of the executioner, a young man of extraordinary beauty appeared - he was holding a vase filled with fruits, from which a wonderful fragrance emanated. Serving the fruits to the tormentor and the synclite surrounding him, the young man said: – This was sent to you by the holy martyr Dorothea from the Paradise of her Bridegroom. And with these words he became invisible. All those present were filled with amazement, tasted the fruits offered, and many people believed in Christ. Let us remember that among the martyrs there were many true aristocrats, pampered girls, such as the Holy Great Martyr Catherine, the Great Martyr Barbara 84 and others, but they all courageously endured various tortures, and a red thread runs through all their lives, that they suffered joyfully and triumphantly went to their Lord, who during their feat strengthened them with His by grace. God's help was always close to the martyr. The Lord also supports secret martyrs - hermits. Open martyrs suffered from people, secret martyrs suffered from demons. Every nation brought martyrs from their midst to Christ as a sacrifice. The Greeks gave the most overt martyrs, and the Russian people 85 secretly. The Indians and Persians had the fewest martyrs. Even in China there was a sermon about Christ, but whether there were martyrs is unknown 86. Ancient Chinese monuments say that Jews came to them from Palestine and preached a new King. Many believed and an embassy was sent, but when it arrived, Christ had already suffered and resurrected. Without Christ, life really has no purpose, it is completely meaningless. Recently, in the “Brotherly List”, published in Saratov, there was a message about the suicide of one girl. She lived independently, had colossal wealth: her capital reached 20 million rubles, which gives about 90-odd thousand rubles a month, i.e. more than three thousand rubles a day. A note was found next to her: “I don’t see the point in life.” And no wonder I didn’t see it! The meaning of life is to fulfill the Gospel Commandments, and if she had gone with Christ, how much good she could have done! But she did not seek Christ and died. Of course, fulfilling the Gospel law may seem difficult at first, but the Lord does not abandon those who work for Him. One day I was returning from Father Ambrose and on the way I stopped in Vasilsursk. I stopped at a familiar monastery, and they suggested that I visit the novice of this monastery, Brother Vasily, who lived as a hermit in the forest. I knocked on his wretched cell and said a prayer. The elder received me with love. -Who are you going to be? – he asked me. - I am warrior Pavel, bless me, father. - What kind of priest am I, I’m a simple novice. We talked to him. I began to ask how he lived, how he pleased God. “Living in the forest is safe from people,” said the elder, “but you have to fight with demons.” What kind of insurance they won’t catch up with! One day, in broad daylight, I suddenly see: a lot of sleighs with Chuvash people sitting in them are coming to my cell. They stopped and knocked on the door: “Open it quickly,” they say, “we are freezing.” Father Superior forbade me to let anyone in without prayer; so I say: “What prayer is there,” they answer, “open!” – Say: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us! There was laughter behind the doors. Then everyone gets into the sleigh and leaves. I went outside to look, and I saw that there were no footprints in the snow, the snowdrifts around my cell were huge, therefore, it was all ghostly. And then the dead man comes at night, bangs his fist and roars at the top of his lungs. “Yes, St. Seraphim also had such temptations,” I said. “It’s the reverend, but it’s me, and my prayer is weak, but still the Lord helps.” Most of all I practice the Jesus Prayer. I asked for instructions on how to do it. “This prayer is terrible,” the hermit answers, “Satan really doesn’t like it and tries with all his might to take revenge on those who perform it.” It is dangerous to go through this prayer without guidance. If you want to start, then start small. Take the rosary - do you have it? - Well, according to the rosary, 100 Jesus prayers a day with bows, whether you want them to the ground or bows from the waist, it doesn’t matter. This happened to me; I didn’t tell anyone, but I’ll tell you. - Why do I have such a preference? - Because you will be a monk and more than that... I began to pray in the evening, I have not only a matting, but a so-so rug... Well, I am standing on my knees and suddenly I feel: the rug is moving. More and more, and I rise into the air. I reached the ceiling, it parted, and I rose to a terrible height. The Volga and the Sura with it were visible like a narrow ribbon; our city seemed very tiny; An abyss lay beneath me. Lord!.. I think: if I fall from here, there will be no bones left! He pressed his head to his rug and began to pray: “Lord, save me! Lord, help me! I raise my head and see that I am again in my cell. The elder had to endure many other temptations. The Jesus Prayer is the strongest, most necessary weapon in the matter of our salvation. But whoever takes it on must expect temptations and prepare for an internal struggle, for a struggle with thoughts. Demons do not like the Jesus Prayer and take revenge in every possible way on the person who beats them with this whip. They begin to whisper to him (of course, not with material lips) all sorts of doubts: “How can I prove this? What's the point? This is not true, no one believes this, this is a deception...”, etc. How can an ascetic fight these thoughts? By not accepting them? But it’s easy to say - don’t accept thoughts. To accomplish this is so difficult that the Lord takes the struggle with thoughts as martyrdom. But although the Jesus Prayer gives a person work, it also brings with it high consolations. In Optina with Father Fr. Macarius was one monk who often came to the Elder for advice, apparently with a sincere desire for correction. The elder told him that the closest path to improvement is the unceasing Jesus Prayer. - Why exactly this prayer? Father,” the monk objected, “after all, nothing is said about her in the Gospel.” – Do you read the Gospel? - Of course, every day there’s a chapter. – Well, if you read, you must remember the words of the Savior: In My Name the demons will be given birth 87 . – I remember, I remember these words! So, they are said about the Jesus Prayer? - Well, of course, in this prayer the name of the Lord is called upon. The monk began to say the Jesus Prayer. After a while he comes again to Fr. Macarius with sadness. - Well, what, brother? – asks the Elder. “Father, I’m going through the Jesus Prayer, but what good can it be if I say it only with my lips, without understanding what I’m saying, my mind keeps running away.” “You don’t understand,” Fr. objected. Macarius, but the demons understand and tremble. Calm down, brother, and continue your prayer as best you can. A little time passed after this conversation, and the monk came to Father. He joyfully reports that the Jesus Prayer reveals to him the great mysteries of God. The elder objected to him: “Don’t pay attention and don’t attach any importance to it.” Soon the monk again reported to Fr. Macarius about the same spiritual gifts that the Jesus Prayer gives, and again the Elder forbade him to attach significance to this. To others, Fr. Macarius reported what great mercy of God his brother had received in such a short time. They objected to him: – But so and so has been praying the Jesus Prayer for many years, but has no revelations. Why is this? “From lack of humility,” answered the Elder. – For the Lord, Humility is most pleasant. Christ Himself is meek and lowly in heart 88 . With the acquisition of humility, we achieve complete peace of mind. There is a well-known historical example about His Serene Highness Prince Menshikov 89. He was a simple man and sold pancakes. One day Tsar Peter I saw him and began to buy goods from him. “No, I don’t know,” Menshikov answered. This was the first meeting. Peter noticed Menshikov's extraordinary intelligence and outstanding ability for military service, brought him closer to him, and Menshikov took a prominent place at court. But he achieved his highest glory under Empress Catherine I, under whom he ruled the state autocratically, since the empress herself, who had no preparation for this, did not interfere in the affairs of government. But then a thunderstorm broke out over Menshikov. He was already thinking of placing a firm foot at the throne, and his daughter, engaged to Peter II, was remembered at the litanies, when he suddenly fell into disgrace. A trial was ordered against him, according to which, deprived of all his wealth, he was exiled to Berezov. His wife only reached Kazan and died of extraordinary grief. Her grave in Kazan still exists. Menshikov remained firm. In Berezovo they made a fur yurt for him, and he began to live in it with the rest of the family. Here he learned the Providence of God, leading him to salvation. And he began to read the Psalter with enthusiasm: It is good for me, for you have humbled me, O Lord, 90,” the former ruler often said. In exile, he glorified God and began to feel such spiritual joys that he had no idea about before. Probably, if he were now offered to return to his former life, he would not agree. Menshikov died the death of a righteous man, and in Siberia he is considered a saint. This great misfortune gave him entrance into the Kingdom of Heaven, which he probably would not have achieved if he were in glory. The Gospel says: Blessed are you when people revile you... 91 At first glance, this seems strange: what bliss is there - they scold, slander - after all, this is just sorrow! But no, this is bliss if you endure in the name of Christ. One elder was asked how he felt about reproach. “With sorrow,” he answered. “Is it really true that reproaches touch you too, father?” “No,” answered the elder, “I rejoice for myself, but I grieve for those who listen to these reproaches, because they are deprived of the benefit that they could receive from the Lord through me, a sinner.” It is the enemy who teaches to slander the servants of God in order to distract people from them. Indeed, it is most profitable for the enemy when people flee from the lamps of God and remain in darkness. The machinations of the enemy also happen here in Optina. Father Macarius, despite his holy life, had many ill-wishers from the hermits. There were such cases: rich merchants would come from Moscow in troikas (there was no railway then) to visit Father Fr. Macarius. They drive up to Skete and ask: – Where does the famous Fr. live? Macarius? “We don’t have that,” they answer. - How can there be no such thing, but we were sent to Fr. Macarius!.. - There are many Makarievs in the monastery, which one do you want? - Well, then there is no doubt that Fr. lives here. Macarius. – Oh, that’s right, Hieromonk Macarius. Yes, yes, but why did you come to him, you won’t get any benefit from him. We do not recommend going to him. Puzzled by such words, the merchants, cursing, turn back. Some monks indignantly told Fr. Macarius was told about what happened: - How do you, father, tolerate such monks? Yes, they should be driven out of the monastery with a broom. If you don’t care, then the monastery will be deprived of help, because among the merchants there were rich factory owners. We live on alms. “Calm down,” Fr. usually answered. Macarius, - the monks have nothing to do with it, which means it’s not good for these people to be with me; whomever God sends will find me. The devil works hard, wanting to distract people from serving God, and in the world he achieves this easily. In the monastery it is more difficult for him to fight; That is why the spirit of malice hates monasteries so much and tries in every possible way to denigrate them in the eyes of inexperienced people. Meanwhile, I will not be wrong if I say that only monastics can achieve the highest bliss. It is possible to be saved in the world, but it is impossible to become completely white, to wash yourself away from the old man, to rise to equal angelic purity, to the highest spiritual creativity in the world, since the entire way of worldly life, which has developed according to its own laws, destroys and slows down the growth of the soul. That is why people grow to the height of equal angels only in “laboratories” called monasteries. At Father Fr. Ambrose was a friend in the world who was very unsympathetic to monasticism. When Fr. Ambrose entered the monastery, he wrote to him: “Explain what monasticism is, but please, in a simpler way, without any texts, I can’t stand them.” To this o. Ambrose responded with one phrase: “Monasticism is bliss.” Indeed, the spiritual joy that monasticism gives even in this life is so great that in one minute you can forget all the sorrows of everyday life, both worldly and monastic. Our best writers were aware of all the vanity of worldly life and strove to enter the monastery. For example, Gogol, Pushkin, Lermontov, Turgenev. This latter places the main character of his best novel, “The Noble Nest,” in a monastery - remember Lisa! Shakespeare in Hamlet expresses his view of the world and the monastery. “The world is a garden overgrown with weeds.” Hamlet tells Ophelia: “Go to the monastery; if you are whiter than the snow on the mountain peaks, then the world will throw mud at you.” This admiration for the monastery shows a desire for the highest ideal, which many poets and artists wanted to achieve, but did not achieve. The vast majority of our best artists and writers can be compared to people who come to church when the service has already begun and the church is full of people. Such people stand at the entrance, it is difficult to enter, and they do not make any effort to do so. Some of the worship can be heard here: “The Cherubic Song”, “We sing to You”, “Lord have mercy”; They stood there, stood there, and left without visiting the church itself. So poets and artists crowded at the gates of the Kingdom of Heaven, but did not enter it. And yet, how much money was given to them to enter there! Their souls, like dynamite, flared up at the slightest spark, but, unfortunately, they did not fan this spark, and it went out. The poet’s thoughts expressed in his works are his confession, although often the writer himself is not aware of this. For example, let's take Lermontov's poem 92. The poor man is withered, barely alive From hunger, thirst and suffering. He only asked for a piece of bread, This beggar Lermontov is talking about is himself. And “someone” is Satan, putting a stone instead of bread, replacing faith itself. And now he does it. Under his influence, a “new Christianity” was created; Tolstoy was inspired by him, composing his “gospel” 93 his “Christianity”. Further, Lermontov says: With bitter tears, with longing; He asked for love from beauty, from women - from everyone except God. Which alone can give love; except Christ, whom he did not turn to and whom he did not love. And instead of bread he received a stone. He did not know, just as many do not know, what unspeakable joys the soul is granted from communion with the Lord, the Source of love. To find Him and enter into communion with God, deeper natures strive for solitude, running away from human noise and bustle. After all, in order to properly appreciate a work of art, for example, some piece of music, you need to go deep into it and concentrate. There is a well-known poem by a young poet and music lover, who promised to be a luminary in talent, but died early - Venevitinov “To a Music Lover.” In it, the poet expresses the idea that knocking, applause, exclamations, etc. are not at all a sign of a good assessment, but, on the contrary, show insufficient penetration into an artistic work, that a person experiencing high pleasure remains in silence. Moreover, in order to possibly comprehend God, a person needs to delve deeper into His teaching and fulfill His commandments. The commandments of the Lord are not grievous 94. The Lord Himself said this, and His word is not false. Of our Russian writers, Pushkin sought God almost more than others, but I don’t know whether he found Him. It is reliably known that he decided to enter the monastery, but he failed to fulfill his desire. I remember once thinking about him. In what glory Pushkin was during his life, let him be glorified after his death; his works have been translated into all European languages! How is he doing there now? At evening prayer I remembered him, saying: “Rest, O Lord, the soul of Your departed servant Alexander,” and fell asleep thinking about him. I see a dream: a boundless, flat steppe. There are no villages, just one old rickety house with a mezzanine. A lot of people go there, and I go too; I climb onto the rickety porch, then up the stairs. I enter the hall. There are a lot of people standing there, all their attention is focused on Pushkin, who is reciting something from Eugene Onegin. One place in this poem was incomprehensible to me, and I decided to ask Pushkin himself about it. I make my way to him. He looks at me and utters significant words that I do not find it necessary to convey to you. Then Pushkin leaves the hall. I follow him. Leaving the house, the poet suddenly changed. He became an old, bald, pitiful man. Turning to me, he said: “Glory? What do I need it for now? He sadly shook his head and quietly walked across the steppe, gradually becoming smaller and smaller and finally merging with the horizon. This dream was a response to my thoughts about Pushkin. However, perhaps the Lord will impute the very desire for a pure life to him. One incident from the life of Pushkin 95 is remarkable. One day in society he met the famous beauty Madame Kern. He met her at a ball, where she was such a success that Emperor Nikolai Pavlovich himself did not dance with anyone but her. Pushkin, as an artist, a fan of everything beautiful, was fascinated by her and, upon returning from the ball, wrote a poem dedicated to her: I remember a wonderful moment: Like a genius of pure beauty. A lot of time has passed since then. The roads of Pushkin and Kern were completely different. Madame Kern, having become a widow, began to lead a quiet, modest life, and in her old age she became a true Christian, almost an ascetic. When she died and was taken out of the church, her coffin met the monument to Pushkin, which was being taken to Tverskoy Boulevard for unveiling. Then a “wonderful moment” happened, and in front of the statue, as if in front of Pushkin himself, this old woman in a coffin, but in life a true Angel of pure spiritual beauty, flashed. Thus, Pushkin’s wish was fulfilled: The awakening of the soul has come, Many searched for God in natural phenomena. Its beauty and greatness elevate the human soul above the vanity of the world and give the soul high pleasure. Tyutchev has a poem “Climbing the Alps”, in which the poet is surprised at the greatness of God when contemplating these mountains. Tyutchev lived abroad for a long time and observed the Alps at different times. I have never been abroad, but now I strive with all my heart to go there, but I am already old and have no capital. Do not understand my words in the literal sense, you need to understand everything spiritually. I long to cross the border of passions and reach the true light. I'm not talking about death, it's scary to die; there, to eternal life, go capitalists who have acquired all sorts of virtues. Of course, just as it costs nothing for a millionaire to give a beggar a thousand rubles, so the All-Generous Lord can cover our poverty with His mercy, but wishing for death is scary. I’m already too old for heroic deeds—you eat more and sleep more—what kind of feats can there be! There are no virtues, but I would like to acquire them. Our whole life is the great mystery of God. All circumstances of life, no matter how small and insignificant they may seem, are of enormous importance. We will fully understand the meaning of real life only in the next century. How carefully you need to treat her! And we turn over our lives like a book - sheet by sheet, without realizing what is written there. Nothing is accidental in life, everything happens according to the will of the Creator. May the Lord grant us with this life to acquire the right to enter eternal life! The saints had this right: for example, the Apostle Paul was caught up to the third heaven - therefore, he was a heavenly inhabitant; but we, sinners and weaklings, can achieve the Kingdom of Heaven not for the sake of our deeds, which we do not have, but solely for the sake of the priceless merits of Christ the Savior, who suffered for us and redeemed us with His Honest Blood. Let us have firm faith and hope in Him - and we will not be put to shame on the Day of the Last Judgment. Amen. I wanted to continue the conversation with you about moving abroad. You already know that this must be understood spiritually. Move beyond the boundaries of your passions - that is, get rid of them completely and replace them with opposite virtues. When crossing a sensory border, you must have a passport with you - without it they will not let you in; so we, overcoming passions, receive, as it were, a new look, a passport for eternal life. Every passion is a disease of the soul; After all, envy, anger, stinginess are not physical, but mental. They treat a sick body; it is even more necessary to treat a sick soul. Monasteries exist to combat passions. However, worldly people cannot be freed from this struggle if they want salvation. So we have a struggle going on in Skete. No one immediately becomes dispassionate. One acts proudly, the other is a fornicator, if not sensually, then mentally; the third is so angry that it’s scary to walk past him. The fourth is stingy, trembles over every penny, so you can’t help but say: why did he go to the monastery? The fifth is a glutton, he wants to eat everything. -Have you already had a meal? - they tell him. “What’s a meal for me, that’s not enough for me,” he answers and eats slowly in his cell, arranging for himself an afternoon snack, a midnight vigil, etc. And stuff like that. Such people themselves recognize their sins and repent of them, but at first correction is slow. The elders, experienced in spiritual life, look at them condescendingly: after all, he is a beginner, what else can you expect from him? But twenty-five years pass, and we see that the work was not in vain. From a glutton he became a faster, from a fornicator he became chaste, always having the Lord in his thoughts, from an evil man he became loving, from a proud man he became humble, etc. Rarely anyone in the world knows about this struggle. To the question - how to be saved? - the more well-intentioned ones answer: “You must pray to God for salvation, and if you pray, you will be saved.” And they don’t leave this circle. Meanwhile, the prayer of a passionate person will not save him. The goal, the only goal of our life is to eradicate passions and replace them with opposite virtues. The best way to start this struggle is this: although all passions are inherent in us, some to a greater extent, others to a lesser extent. We must determine which passion prevails in us and arm ourselves against it. It is impossible to fight all passions at once: they will strangle you. Having conquered one passion, and the main one at that, move on to eradicating another, etc. A person who has achieved dispassion receives, as it were, a diploma for the right to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and becomes an interlocutor with Angels and saints. It is impossible for a person who has not conquered passion to be in Paradise; he will be detained in ordeals. But suppose that he entered Paradise, but is not able to stay there, and he himself does not want to. Just as it is difficult for an ill-mannered person to be in a well-bred society, so it is for a passionate person to be in a society of impassive people. An envious person will remain envious in Paradise, a proud person will not become humble in Heaven. People with opposite directions do not understand each other and often cause harm. I recently received a letter from one of my spiritual daughters. She returned from Optina in the most joyful mood of spirit, and got into conversation with one unbeliever returning from the same place. “Well, what’s special about Optina,” said the last one, “I’m surprised that so many people want to go there.” -Have you visited any of the elders? - No, and why go there? - Why did you decide so? Your friend finds moral satisfaction in turning to Elder Barsanuphius. “She has a different mentality, but I will never go to Barsanuphius; I don’t deny that he is an excellent psychologist, he knows how to judge everything well, but there is nothing blessed in him. Well, the young soul became confused, listening to such arguments. Indeed, I personally am nothing. The Lord does everything. Just as the sun illuminates a person, and therefore he becomes bright, although this does not depend on him, so the grace of God acts through me, a sinner. If a believer comes, then sometimes he manages to say everything for the benefit. It’s more difficult with non-believers, the Lord sometimes doesn’t reveal about them, so you don’t know what to say, but you look at the image and advise them to pray. “What,” they say, “pray! We know this even without you.” Without faith, not only man, but also God cannot save. There is a well-known gospel story about the inhabitants of Nazareth, where the Lord Himself could not perform miracles and was surprised at their unbelief 96 . There are many non-believers everywhere - both in the world and even in the monastery. In our Skete, when Father Fr. Ambrose, there was one monk named Theodosius, who constantly turned to Father. One day, coming to him, he said: “Here, Father, it’s been twenty years since I’ve felt the same way about you, but I still don’t have the strength to admit one thought.” - Which one? – asks Fr. with surprise. Ambrose. - How are you, father, silent for so many years? - It’s very difficult to say, since the thoughts are against you, Father. - Well, what does your thought tell you? Am I a fornicator? Murderer? Thief? “Admit it now,” Fr. said commandingly. Ambrose, and, as it were, in the words of Fr. Feodosia, the castle fell from his lips. “Father,” he said, “although I constantly use your advice, I don’t think that you have any grace: you only have the gift of reasoning.” “Well,” answered Elder Ambrose, “after all, this also means something.” Several years have passed, oh. Ambrose had already passed away, and the monk Theodosius, reading the Prologue one day, read with surprise the passage in which such an incident was told: once famous ascetics, including St. Anthony the Great, gathered together and discussed which virtue was most important. One said patience, but they objected: so-and-so was patient, but fell... Finally, everyone agreed that the most important virtue is spiritual reasoning 97 . It was then that Theodosius realized that the deceased Father possessed an invaluable spiritual gift. My words are simple, understandable even to a five-year-old child, but they contain the meaning of all life. Learning to fight your passions is very important and even necessary. The best guidance for you, children, in this will be reading the Lives of the Saints. The world has left him long ago, but do not conform to the world, and this reading will console you greatly. In the Lives of the Saints you will find instructions on how to fight the spirit of malice and remain victorious. May the Lord help you. Amen. Time flies quickly, and there is no way to stop it. Saint Ephraim the Syrian says: “The days flow and fly away; the hours run by without stopping in the rapid flow - the world is approaching its end.” Now it’s five hours, and before it was four, then there will be even more - all this is taken away from life, with every hour it shortens. Known for his ascetic life, the recluse Georgiy of Zadonsk once wrote to a princess who was using his guidance: “I found a thief in my cell 98 who is stealing from me the most precious thing - time. This is a clock pendulum." Who knows how long I will live. Maybe the pendulum will make ten thousand swings at this time, or maybe not at all. After all, it often happens that healthy people die suddenly. The Holy Fathers say: “There is nothing more valuable than time.” Americans say: “There is nothing more valuable than time.” The expressions are the same, but the meaning is different. The former speak in a spiritual sense, and the latter in a practical sense. But life will pass, and with it all worldly worries, and therefore we must save time not for worldly earthly calculations, but for the acquisition of eternity. That's the only thing that matters. In order to acquire eternal life, you need to cultivate in yourself a feeling of repentance, without which all bows, fasts, and prayers are worthless. The Lord requires from us a contrite heart: God will not despise a contrite and humble heart 99 - says the Psalmist. Sincere repentance will save you even without good deeds. Once upon a time there lived a robber who was distinguished by such ferocity that he struck terror into the entire region where he committed his atrocities. But then he fell mortally ill. Feeling the approach of death, the robber came to his senses. Although he led a vicious life, he did not lose faith in God, in the afterlife and in fair reward beyond the grave. Fear attacked the robber. Perhaps a few more hours - and his soul must descend to hell for eternal torment. And he began to cry bitterly, begging the Lord for mercy. “Lord,” he said, “I, of course, of course, am more sinful than all the people in the world and am not worthy to utter Your Holy Name with my foul lips, but hear me, Lord, in this terrible hour and have mercy for the sake of Your mercy and for the sake of the priceless merits of my Savior.” And the robber cried for a long, long time, so that his handkerchief became completely wet... And the Lord forgave him. How the Lord rewarded him is unknown, but he was delivered from eternal torment. But one should not hope for repentance before death, this is very dangerous, since one can die suddenly, and if the soul has mortal sins that are not washed away by repentance, then they will drag the person to hell. After committing Sins, especially mortal ones, one must immediately repent. There was such a case. One man was walking down the street at night and met a richly dressed gentleman in a drunken state. And so the devil gave him the thought: “The master probably has a lot of money with him; kill him and you will improve all your affairs: your wife is sick and your children are hungry.” Listening to this crafty slander, he approached the stranger, hit him in the church with his fist, and he immediately fell without signs of life. The poor man took the wallet from the murdered man and went home. But soon his conscience awoke in him and began to strongly reproach him, and fear set in... “What if I die now and my soul goes to hell for eternal torment!” Overwhelmed by such thoughts, he goes to the priest. Calling. At first they don’t want to let him in, but he insists. The priest came out: “What do you want?” - “I need to confess now.” - “What an extreme night, come tomorrow morning.” “If you don’t confess me now, you will be answerable to God for my soul.” Terrible answer. And the priest agrees. After confession, the visitor hands the priest the money he took from the murdered man and says: “Do with it what you want - the person to whom it belonged is no longer alive.” He comes out and suddenly dies on the stairs. Will the Lord judge him as a murderer and thief? Of course not - he repented. There is no sin that defeats God's mercy, but it is scary to sin deliberately, hoping that God will forgive, we must remember that God cannot be mocked 100. There is a legend about one robber: he often robbed and killed, but from time to time he came to his senses, repented, and confessed his sins to the priest. And the Lord forgave him everything. One day after confession, this man met a rich man and began to be confused by his thoughts. The enemy inspired him: “Kill for the last time, you will take possession of this rich man’s fortune and then you can live in peace and repent.” And so the robber obeyed these suggestions, killed the rich man and took his wallet. After the crime was committed, he sat down on the river bank to rest and count the stolen money, but suddenly he saw: many peasants were running towards him. The mortally frightened robber thought that they were running to grab him, that a crime had been discovered. He jumped up and ran in the opposite direction, and at that very time a mad wolf, pursued by the peasants, rushed at him and killed him. The Lord forgave everything, endured everything, but the measure of long-suffering was fulfilled, and the Lord punished the robber who was careless about his salvation. Let us try to correct our lives and constantly repent of our sins. But the question arises: how to acquire a feeling of repentance? The only unceasing Jesus prayer. Let us say this prayer according to our strength, and the Lord will not leave us. He will be our Helper and Comforter and will lead us into His Kingdom. Amen. Performing the Jesus Prayer is very important. In Optina Pustyn, all monks are obliged to pray the Pentecentria daily, that is, a rule consisting of 300 prayers to Jesus, 100 to the Mother of God, 50 to the Guardian Angel and 50 to all saints. Although this rule is obligatory only for monks, it would be good if laymen also practiced it if possible. It is also good to read Psalms 90 and 50 daily; Psalm 90, “Alive in the Help of the Most High,” is useful to read three times a day: morning, noon and evening. At noon a person is especially attacked by a prodigal demon, and this same psalm drives him away far away. The Apostle Peter says: Be sober, be vigilant, your adversary the devil, like a lion, roars, looking for someone to devour 102. How, therefore, it is necessary to always say the Jesus Prayer, which is a strong weapon against the enemy! The Lord said: In My name the demons will be destroyed 103. This prayer reveals to man the great mysteries of God. Two friends labored in Siberia - Basilisk and Zosima 104. The latter was an educated man, and the first was even illiterate. Despite such differences, they sincerely loved and complemented each other. Basilisk, although illiterate, was distinguished by a high spiritual life. The constant practice of the Jesus Prayer gave him inexpressible pleasure and led him into the depths of the knowledge of God. Often, when Zosima came to Basilisk, he was in such spiritual delight that he could not carry on an ordinary conversation. Basilisk told Zosima lofty truths, which he wrote down and later even published a book, but much was not included in it, since Basilisk did not allow everything to be written down. But this book is difficult, and it cannot be distributed, since much in it can tempt a person who has no idea about the Jesus Prayer. To understand this book, you need to experience it. People like Fr. Macarius, it would be understood 105, but for those with little experience in spiritual life it is not suitable, since it is height. You too, my children, fulfill this prayer to the best of your ability; it will save you from all evil. By fulfilling it, you will gradually acquire meekness, humility and gentleness. You are aware of all your shortcomings, and you will not want to condemn your neighbor; you will treat your enemies complacently, and your enemies kindly. This holy prayer will be the guardian of your virginity if you remain a virgin, but if one of you gets married, then it will take away every bad person from you and send a good believing friend for joint help on the path of life. There are three paths: marriage, virginity and monasticism. Every path can lead to the Kingdom of Heaven. In marriage - fulfilling the duties of a mother and wife in the name of Christ, in virginity - dedicating it to God; in monasticism - renouncing the entire Kingdom of God for the sake of. I am not calling you to join a monastery; given the real decline of monastic life, it is sometimes easier to be saved in the world. Everyone has their own path, as long as the person sincerely seeks God and strives for Him. Of course, the monastic path is the royal path, and whoever, having entered a monastery, becomes a true monk will be awarded a great reward. An interesting incident occurred just a few years ago. In a certain desert, one novice decided to leave the monastery. The day before, he collected his things and invited several novices to come to him the next day to say goodbye. He promised to give me some tea, and maybe some vodka. The next day the guests came and were surprised: All the things were again laid out, and the monk was sitting on the bench, apparently not intending to leave at all. -Where is the treat? Where is the samovar? “The samovar is on the shelf,” was the answer. - However, if you want, I’ll probably put it on. - That is, how is it - if you want? After all, you were going to treat us goodbye! - Yes, brothers, I’m not going anywhere. The Lord enlightened me. And the monk told about his dream. He was honored to see the monastery prepared for monks; in its beauty it was incomparably better than a monastery for worldly people. This story made a strong impression on everyone. They handed it over to the abbot, who handed it over to the bishop. The bishop recognized the dream as spiritual. It was published as a separate booklet 106. But no matter how you save yourself, just to be saved! The Lord calls everyone to His Kingdom: Behold, I stand at the door and speak: if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me 107 - says Christ. Blessed are those who hear the voice of the Lord and follow Him! In Kazan I knew one old woman, Mother Euphrosyne 108. This was a holy soul, who from a young age heard the call of the Savior. Mother Euphrosyne was the only daughter of rich and noble parents. Since childhood, she grew up as a quiet and meek child. When she was twelve years old, she was taken to the Smolny Institute. Here she spent her free time from classes reading sacred books. She was jokingly called a “nun.” She graduated with honors and returned to her parents, who were overjoyed. Despite her intelligence and education, Euphrosyne was distinguished by her extraordinary beauty, which, together with her enormous wealth, promised her a happy life. But Euphrosyne’s heart was not set on anything earthly; she uncontrollably strove for Christ, whom she had loved since childhood. The vanity and luxury in her parents' house were unbearable to her. On the occasion of her graduation, her parents gave her a magnificent ball; they admired and were proud of their daughter, who in a ball gown, covered in diamonds, looked amazingly beautiful. But in the middle of the ball, Euphrosyne chooses an opportune moment and quietly leaves the hall. Arriving at her room, she throws off her diamonds, changes into her maid’s dress and, leaving a note for her parents so that they won’t look for her, leaves her parents’ house with her faithful maid. Young girls wandered for a long time; many monasteries were afraid to accept them. Finally, they settled in one Smolensk monastery and lived there without taking monastic vows. Subsequently, Mother Euphrosyne arrived in Kazan. Here a pious merchant built her a separate house, and the holy old woman lived out her days peacefully. I visited her from time to time. Her conversations were interesting, always lively, deep, edifying. She was very smart and well-read, and time flew by when talking with her. One day she told me about how she heard angels singing. It was like this: on some matter, Mother Euphrosyne went to the Eminence Philaret of Kyiv 109. Approaching the bishop's house, she heard wonderful, extraordinary singing. Enjoying it, mother wondered who could sing so wonderfully. “That’s right, singers came from somewhere to visit Vladyka,” she thought. Having come to the bishop, Mother Euphrosyne told him about what she had heard and about her assumption. The Lord thought about it. “No,” he said, “I have no one to sing. You heard, mother, the singing of angels, but do not attach much importance to this, so as not to become proud.” Once I did not visit Mother Euphrosyne for a month. When I went to her, I met a merchant at the gate who told me: “Go quickly, she, Mother Euphrosyne, is running out.” I entered her cell. The old woman lay breathing heavily, her eyes were closed. When I approached her, she opened them, and her face lit up with a gentle smile: “Thank God! Pavel Ivanovich has come,” she said slowly. I took her hand and, folding my fingers to make the sign of the cross, made the sign of the cross over her three times. Her face brightened even more, she sighed slightly, then her breathing became short, and after a few minutes she was gone. From morning to evening, Mother Euphrosyne’s cell was filled with people. Everyone wanted to pay their last respects to the deceased and continuously read the Psalter. I personally didn’t read it because there were many people who wanted it. I sat in the cell between the closet and the door and looked intently into the face of the deceased. It was a beautiful face, so calm, joyful and at the same time majestic. It was hard for me. I felt so alone. They buried her on Tuesday, as I remember; when they brought her into the church, the choir sang: “Rejoice, Varvaro, beautiful bride of Christ.” It turns out that they read the akathist to St. Great Martyr Barbara. Subsequently, it turned out that this was not a simple accident: Mother Euphrosyne was in the secret schema, although almost no one knew this, and her name was Varvara. The words in the chorus so clearly referred to her. The Lord comforted me in my sorrow. Soon after the burial, I had a dream: a vast, boundless field, not a soul in sight. In the middle of the field there is a coffin with Mother Euphrosyne, and I am standing next to it. It's early morning and still dark. Suddenly I see entire regiments of soldiers with banners moving across the sky; it seemed that they were walking after a decisive battle and were very tired. I cannot clearly distinguish their faces, since it is not quite dawn, but the rising sun is already illuminating the tops of their banners with golden crosses. I woke up and wondered what this dream meant. They explained it to me this way: the warriors with banners are angelic regiments who fought with opposing forces for the soul of Mother Euphrosyne and won. Angels take an active part in the fate of a person, and if enemies attack us from all sides, then all the more bright, loving Angels strive to protect us, unless the person himself deliberately goes over to the side of evil. I was struck by Mother Euphrosyne’s story about the angelic singing she heard, but there are many such examples in the Lives of the Saints. There is a well-known story about St. Pimen the Long-Suffering. He longed for tonsure, and then one night he sees: the abbot comes with the brethren and tonsures him. After a while, the abbot of that monastery came with the brethren and was surprised that Fr. Pimen is dressed in monastic clothes. When asked who tonsured Pimen, the latter, in amazement, said: “But you yourself, father!” They began to ask the monks who were in the neighboring cells, and everyone confirmed that they had heard the wonderful singing of prayers sung during tonsure. Then the abbot understood that Pimen had been tonsured by the Angels 110. There is also a relatively recent story about angelic singing. This was in the Vologda province. We celebrated mass in one church. Suddenly there was a fire on the street. Everyone rushed out of the church, it was completely empty, and only the deacon and priest remained. The singers also fled. But when the deacon began the litany, wonderful singing was heard from the choir. A Pole was passing by the church at that time. Attracted by the wondrous singing, he entered the church and was amazed by the unprecedented sight. The church is empty, only an elderly priest in the altar and a deacon on the pulpit. In the choir there are bright men in white robes. They were singing. At the end of the Liturgy, the Pole approached the priest and asked him who these magnificent men were who sang so wonderfully in the choir. “These are the Angels of God,” answered the priest. - If this is so, then I want to be baptized today. And the Pole was added to the Orthodox Church thanks to angelic singing. A legend has been preserved about one monk who, having already achieved a high spiritual life, having accomplished all kinds of feats, began to be embarrassed by the thought of what eternal bliss would consist of - after all, a person can get bored with everything. In confusion, the monk could not find peace for himself, his soul grieved. One day he went into the forest and entered a dense thicket. Tired, he sat down on an old stump, and suddenly it seemed to him that the whole forest was illuminated with some wonderful light. Then an inexpressibly sweet singing was heard. Entirely enveloped in spiritual delight, the elder listened to this singing. He forgot everything in the world. But finally, the singing stopped. How long it lasted—a year, an hour, a minute—the elder could not determine. He rose from his seat with regret. How he wished that this heavenly singing would never stop! With great difficulty he got out of the forest and went to his monastery. But for some reason, at every step the elder was surprised, seeing new buildings and streets unfamiliar to him. Here, finally, is the monastery. “What is this? - he said to himself. “I must have ended up in the wrong place.” The elder entered the fence and sat down on a bench next to some novice. - Tell me, for God's sake, brother, is this the city of N? – What is the name of your monastery? And the elder began to question the monk in detail about the abbot, about the brethren, calling them by name, but he could not understand him and took him to the abbot. “Bring the ancient chronicle of our monastery,” said the abbot, sensing that some great secret of God was hidden here. – Was your abbot Hilarion? - Well, yes, well, yes! – the old man was happy. – Cellarius such and such, hieromonks such and such? “True, true,” agreed the delighted old man. “Give glory to the Lord, father,” the abbot said then. - The Lord performed a great miracle on you. Those monks whom you knew and are looking for lived three hundred years ago. The chronicle says that in such and such a year, on such and such a date and month, one of the monks of the monastery disappeared unknown to where. Then everyone glorified God. There is a legend that in ancient times there were birds whose singing sounded so sweet that a person, listening, died of emotion. On the old man, who had listened to angelic singing for three hundred years, the Lord showed His mercy. He did not leave His servant, who had worked for him for so many years, in confusion, he enlightened and consoled him with the destinies known to Him alone. The Lord loves the meek and humble, for He Himself is meek and lowly in heart 111. To whom will I look, says the Lord, but to him who is meek and silent and trembles at My words 112 . Saint Isaac the Syrian says: “When you put all the deeds of this life on one side, and silence on the other, then you will find that it outweighs the scales” 113. Bishop Theophan, who died not so long ago, valued silence so highly that in the last years of his life he left everything and secluded himself in his silent cell. Its premises consisted of several rooms and a home church, where Bishop Theophan celebrated the Liturgy daily. He sometimes wrote to his friends and remarked among other things: “I am a bishop, I am a priest, I am a deacon, I am also a psalmist.” With the bishop there lived a cell attendant who cleaned his room and prepared food for him: Bishop Feofan loved cleanliness, and his place was even cozy. When the cell attendant entered, the bishop went into another room. Silence brought him great consolation and uplifted his spirit. And we all firmly believe that the Lord accepted his pure soul into His Heavenly Kingdom. But in ordinary life, sometimes silence is criminal. For example, a family sits down for dinner, and one of the daughters does not want to talk to anyone. Well, she’s silent, silent, and her mother begins to look at her askance: “Why isn’t she talking? That’s right, he considers us beneath him.” The mother begins to say unpleasant things to her daughter, and she thinks: “Oh, so! So I won’t say anything at all.” Finally, the mother falls silent, but her face shows that she is very unhappy. Lunch ends and everyone wants to get away from each other. Tell me, who enjoys such a feat of silence? People hate him, and he is unlikely to please the Lord. The Lord commands: Of this everyone understands, just as you are My disciples, if you have love among each other 115. Try, children, to live in peace with everyone, as much as it depends on you, of course. The Apostle says: If it is possible from you, have peace with all people 116. And if you strive for this, then the Lord Himself will not leave you with His help, will put you in such conditions of life under which it is easiest to be saved, and, finally, will fill your heart with true love, which is the height of perfection and is a source of indescribable joy, ineffable bliss. Amen. “Today the grace of the Holy Spirit has gathered us together.” Where there are two or three gatherings in My name, I am in the midst of them 117. These are the words of the Savior, and they are not false, therefore, the Lord Himself is now among us. During the celebration of the Liturgy, when the deacon exclaims: “Let us love one another, that we may confess with one mind...” - this custom has long been preserved. If the service is performed in a cathedral, then the priests say: “I will love You, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my strength and my refuge,” they kiss the veils of St. paten and St. the chalice and the edge of the Holy Meal, and then each other in the ramen 118, and the eldest, and in the monastery the abbot, says: “Christ is in our midst!” And they answer him: “And it is, and it will be.” Also, if the service is performed by one priest, then he says to the deacon: “Christ is in our midst!” - and he answers: “And it is, and it will be.” Indeed, during the celebration of the greatest Sacrament, Christ is among us believers. Only we, sinners, cannot see Him with sensual eyes. The saints of God saw the Lord sensually, for example, St. Seraphim of Sarov considered it a custom to see the transubstantiation of the Holy Gifts. One day, when Rev. Seraphim was still a deacon, during the Liturgy, when, raising the orarion, he wanted to say: “And forever and ever,” he saw the Lord Jesus Christ, who walked on the clouds, and then entered the local icon of the Savior. A similar incident happened with one of our skete schema-monks. Father Vassian, that was the name of the schema-monk, led a high ascetic life. Not content with monastic obedience, he chose a special path for himself. With the blessing of the abbot, as soon as spring came, he climbed a tall pine tree, where he had a small platform, and lived there until late autumn. He was often seen at night praying with his hands raised. Once he spent the entire Nativity Fast without food and shortly before the Christmas holiday he came to pray at the all-night vigil. And suddenly he sees Christ coming towards him. Beside himself with fear and joy, he fell to his knees, and the Lord blessed him and entered the local icon. And in our time, poor in faith, Christ performs great miracles. When I was still in the world, I sometimes visited the priest Fr. Simeon Tsiklinsky. One day I asked him: – Do you have anyone among your spiritual children who leads a special ascetic life? “Everyone lives according to God,” answered the priest, “they try to fulfill the commandments of Christ to the best of their ability—and that’s enough.” – No, I’m not asking about such people, but about God’s special chosen ones. - Yes, I have one Cossack in my parish who is already of advanced years. He is married and has children. The children are now all settled in, he lives alone with his old wife, of course, a clean life. He serves me at the altar and always sees the transubstantiation of the Gifts. - Do you see, Father? - I assure you that I have never seen it. This means it is of no use to me. Our great elders: Father Fr. Ambrose and Father Fr. Anatoly, who left us their images 119, also saw the transubstantiation of the Holy Gifts, and we, sinners, although we did not see this with sensual eyes, we feel grace in our hearts. For example, during reading or chanting in church, sometimes one word is especially remembered and affects the soul. It is the Guardian Angel who will take and convey to the heart a word that has significance for the entire subsequent life of a person. And it often happens that a person, having thought about something he heard in church, suddenly begins to change, leaves sinful habits, changes his previous way of life and begins to follow the path to salvation. The Lord calls us to Himself and offers us many paths to salvation; some are saved in the world, others in the monastery. To achieve greater perfection they go to monasteries, but there are more temptations there. The enemy tempts here from both the left and the right. He tries to lure some out of the monastery with the promise of blessings and salvation in worldly life, while others inspire the desire to leave the communal monastery for higher feats: what is there in the monastery, what salvation, but it is better to retire to the forest, build yourself a hut there and strive. And so the young nun, listening to such enemy advice, begins to be burdened by life in the monastery, annoyed with the sisters, irritated by every little thing - and this is all the enemy needs. Father o. Ambrose said: “They are rushing into the forest, but there is a demon in the forest.” Meanwhile, there were ascetics who achieved high perfection while living in a communal monastery, and not in the desert. Such, for example, is Rev. Arseny the Great. Previously, he was a secular man, received an excellent education and was taken to the palace by Emperor Theodosius the Great as the tutor of the royal sons Arcadius and Honorius. One day, Theodosius, coming to class, saw that Arseny was standing and his sons were sitting. - Why are these boys sitting? – the emperor asked sternly. And having learned that Arseny, out of respect for the royal title of his students, was standing in front of them, he ordered Arseny to sit and his sons to stand during classes. Subsequently, Arseny entered a monastery, began to struggle in silence and achieved the highest perfection. The monk Ignatius (Brianchaninov), later a bishop, lived with us in Optina Pustyn for some time. Father, oh, Lev spoke about him that Arseny the Great could come out of him, but Arseny did not come out - he could not stand the test. Father Leo, wanting to train him into an ascetic, tested his humility. It happened that he would go somewhere, take young Brianchaninov with him and tell him to go as a coachman. He will stop somewhere and leave him in the stable with the horses, as if he will forget about him. Then he will say: “Oh, I have a nobleman staying there with horses, I need to offer him some tea.” Father often subjected him to similar tests, and he could not stand it. One day Brianchaninov fell ill and temporarily, as if to recover, moved to the Lyubezh Monastery 121, but did not return from there. Then he became a bishop, but did not become Arseny the Great. Monastic life requires complete selflessness: deny yourself and take up your cross 122. The Kingdom of Heaven cannot be earned by waving a cane. We are all looking to avoid sorrows, and the Holy Fathers say: “If the path is not reproachful, then fear” 123. In a monastery, what is needed above all is humility and patience. One must be prepared to endure any insult. One, for example, a noble maiden named Tabitha entered a monastery. Many of the old ordinary nuns did not understand for what purpose she had acted, and suspected her of being disdainful of the other sisters. - What a fool you are, why did you come to us? – the nun asks Tabitha. - Yes, you will never grow wiser, because you have a lot of anger and pride, you consider us to be cockroaches. “It’s true that I have a lot of pride and anger, but I don’t consider you to be cockroaches.” And all this, and the like, must be endured without complaint, but by enduring insults, meekness, humility and other virtues are acquired. In our Skete they give similar lessons. They notice, for example, that a novice is proud, and someone will teach him: - Why are you such a blockhead, you can’t even wash spoons properly? He is ambitious and goes to complain. They ask him: – So you consider yourself very smart? - No, but at least they didn’t scold me in front of everyone. After a while, you see, he stopped being offended, and therefore became more humble. In monasteries they teach to fight passions and eradicate them, and this is the most important thing, since outward piety alone has no price. He is different in appearance and pious - he goes to church, perhaps talks, and sometimes gives alms; but he does all this without the participation of his heart, and therefore, in the event of any failure, he immediately falls away from God, since he does not carry Christ in his heart. Tolstoy, for example, had an extensive education, but lost Christ and died. I was sent to him by the Synod before his death. I arrive in Astapovo, they don’t let me see Tolstoy. I turned to his eldest daughter - she answers me with a letter, politely, however, but with a refusal. I turn to another - she comes to me excited and tells me that it is impossible to let me see the count, since if he sees me, he will certainly die. In vain I assured that I would not start theological disputes with Tolstoy, I only asked to be allowed in, although to bless a dying man from afar - no, they don’t listen to anything. I remember on the very day of the count’s death, in the morning, a thought came to me: will they not allow me to see him today? Perhaps he will repent and be saved. At this very time they came to me to tell me that the count had died. And so the soul perished irrevocably. And yet how easy it was for him to be saved: I carried him the Body and Blood of Christ and went to forgive and resolve all his sins - “voluntary and involuntary.” I returned from Astapov with sadness in my heart, since my mission was not completed. Of course, the Lord “kisses intentions” and rewards a person for his work, and not for the results of his work, but still I was sad. Of course, Tolstoy is now irresponsible at the Last Judgment; and the Metropolitan sent him a telegram, which was not even conveyed to him. The Church did everything to save him, but he did not want to be saved - and died. And once he was a pious man, but, apparently, this piety was only external. Elder Paisios (Velichkovsky) 124 makes the following comparison between the inner, spiritual life and the outer life, which rests on the external fulfillment of the prayer rule, i.e. reading the Psalter, canons, troparia, akathists, etc.: external life is like a ship when it is near the shore, tied with ropes, and gives back to the city the cargo it has brought from afar. Anyone who wants to, freely, without any obstacle, enters and leaves it, sees its entire position and what is on it, takes what he needs. A crowd of idle people mills noisily and aimlessly on the shore, movement, noise, disorder, complete absence of any rational activity, in a word - vanity, usual for this age! But this same ship, having laid down the cargo it had brought and being filled with new goods, set sail from the shore and headed into the depths of the sea. All the bustle and crowds of people remained on the shore, and the ship, lonely, is visible on the surface of the vast sea, one helmsman skillfully rules its desire. He walks and hurries further and further, and has already disappeared from the gaze of the crowd. The world and people remained far away, and the ship sailed regally in boundless space; the wave beats him, and the winds are all around, but he doesn’t care. I speak my conversations impromptu, without preparing what the Lord will inspire me with, and that’s what I’m talking to you about, like the beggar about whom Polonsky says: And what the Lord will send him, He takes everything with gratitude, With such beggars as himself 125. May the Lord help you all. Peace be with you! Amen. December 29, 1910 Christmastide Now monks came to me for a blessing, among them several newly tonsured. We have this custom in the monastery: after tonsure, the monks remain in the church for four days without leaving, and food is brought there for them. Then they confess, partake of the Holy Mysteries, and after the Liturgy go to their cells. A hopeless stay in the church gives monks, especially attentive ones, high spiritual pleasure. I ask those who were recently tonsured, what did they feel while being in the church? Was there anything special? “There was,” they answer, “a joyful, enthusiastic feeling, but there were no visions.” Then one of the monks, who had been ordained several years ago, came up to me. From the very moment he entered the monastery, this monk led a strict life and was very attentive to his inner world. “Father,” he told me, “I wanted everything, but I couldn’t tell you something of what I felt after being tonsured. One night I dozed off, leaning against the tomb of Fr. Moses, and suddenly I see a wonderful garden, and in it there are many churches with blue domes. The view of all this was so extraordinarily majestic that I involuntarily fell in love. I didn’t see any fruit in the garden, I didn’t hear any singing, but from contemplating the garden and the churches my soul was filled with such unspeakable joy, such bliss that I had never experienced before. Several years have passed since then, but even now, when the soul becomes heavy, one has only to remember this vision in order to calm down and endure all kinds of sorrows with complacency.” Yes, the Lord comforts His servants who work for the glory of His name! But where is it better and more convenient to serve the Lord, if not in the holy monastery? The monastic path is difficult, but it is the most reliable for salvation. I am not calling you to join a monastery, and you can be saved in the world, although it is inconvenient, since the whole way of worldly life does not bring you closer, but rather distances you from God. The spirit of this age reigns in the world. Vice is not restrained there. For example, what a disgrace it is in Moscow, especially on holidays! It’s scary for a chaste girl to walk through the streets: the windows display such nasty paintings and statues that looking at them offends the feeling of modesty and chastity. However, there are people who live in the world monastically, to whom the dirt of the world does not stick, but their soul inseparably belongs to the Lord. These are the ones that Lermontov said: ...they are not made for peace, and the world was not created for them... 126 From the distant past, the image of Mother Euphrosyne 127 appears before me. Her life was remarkable: from childhood she was unusually religious, thoughtful, and she loved Christ with all her soul. After graduating from college, she decided to devote herself to God, but there was a big obstacle from her parents. Then she decided to run away from her parents' house and waited for an opportunity. In honor of her graduation from the institute, her parents threw a ball, and Euphrosyne was the queen of the ball. Having seized a convenient moment, she left everything and left. She hid in one monastery, then, on the advice of the abbess, she was in Kyiv with the Right Reverend Philaret 128, and he sent her to Kazan to the Right Reverend Anthony 129. In Kazan, she rented a small apartment from a pious merchant, a deep admirer of hers. I met Mother Euphrosyne at one abbot’s house, and then began to visit her. When I met her, she was already an old woman, but her face retained traces of its former beauty. Her eyes were especially beautiful - blue, deep, in which so much unearthly purity shone! And in general, there was some kind of special spiritual beauty in her entire appearance. She always dressed simply: black dresses and a constant shawl on her shoulders. Mother Euphrosyne received an excellent education, knew English and German thoroughly, and maybe even French (I did not hear her speak French), loved poetry very much, spoke poetry unusually well: she passed this last on to me to some extent. Like a wise scribe who wears out new and old 130, she knew how to borrow useful things not only from the Holy Scriptures, but also from the works of secular writers. In her youth she loved literature, but then she began to read exclusively the Holy Scriptures, the Psalter and the Fathers of the Church; She especially loved Isaac the Syrian, whom she compared to an eagle soaring in the sky. Once I went to see her after the all-night vigil on the Feast of the Intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos: our all-night vigil ended early, at half past seven. Mother greeted me, as always, very warmly: - No need, why do you bother? - What a fuss, I already have everything ready. I didn’t even notice how a boiling samovar appeared on the table; Mother Euphrosyne poured me a glass and poured herself her own cup, small as a thimble. We started talking. - So, I wonder, why do you come to me, poor thing? “Mother,” I answer, “when Christ asked the disciples if they wanted to leave Him, as some disciples did without comprehending the teaching about Holy Communion, they answered: Lord! Who should we go to? You have the verbs of eternal life 131. I can tell you the same thing. Where should I go from you? You have the verbs of eternal life. I feel good here, in your small cozy room, with images and a burning lamp, calm and joyful. “Today the grace of the Holy Spirit has gathered us, and we all, having taken up Your cross, say: “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord, Hosanna in the highest,” 132 said the old woman, “do you understand what the word “Hosanna” means? – Yes, hosanna is salvation, but in order to be saved, it is necessary to fulfill the commandments of Christ. At His Last Judgment, the Lord will demand from us an account of how we spent our lives, how we fulfilled His Holy Law. Here nothing can be justified: neither wealth, nor the nobility of the family, nor the customs of the world. So, I thought, when I was still living in my own home: the Lord will appear and ask: – Did you fulfill My commandments? “But I was the only daughter of rich parents. – Great, but did you fulfill My commandments? - But I graduated from college. - Okay, but did you fulfill My commandments? – But did you fulfill My commandments? Such thoughts made me scared, and I decided to leave everything worldly. “Yes, you left everything, but you can’t all run away from the ball,” I objected. – This is not necessary, but it is possible and necessary to fulfill the law of Christ in every rank and condition. - Do you hope to be saved? “I hope,” answered Mother Euphrosyne with confidence, “not because I fulfilled all the commandments, but because I at least took them by the tips.” But most importantly, I trust in the priceless merits of my Savior. You need to cleanse your heart in order to see the Lord,” she continued, “do you remember, Pushkin in the poem “The Prophet” says: ...And I heard the sky tremble, And the bastard underwater passage... This is a clear image of the human soul: in our hearts we can have both “the heavenly flight of Angels” and “the underwater reptile of the sea.” A pure heart contemplates the great mysteries of God. On the contrary, in a heart clouded by passions, one notices the “underwater passage of the sea,” that is, base aspirations and desires, all kinds of impurity. Once, for three weeks, I was unable to be with Mother Euphrosyne: it was Easter, visits, in a word, there was no time. Finally, on May 15, Tsar’s Day, I went to see her. I come and find out that she is dying. Yesterday she was given unction, today she received the Holy Mysteries, and she no longer recognizes anyone. When I entered, she was lying on the sofa, and some old woman was sitting next to her, looking after her. Mother Euphrosyne recognized me and smiled faintly. After a while, she suddenly stood up, her face somehow brightened up, and she, holding out her hands, said: “Let me go to the Lord, where my soul has been yearning all my life.” Then, weakened, she fell back onto the pillow. I noticed that she wanted to cross herself, but did not have the strength to raise her hand. Then I took her hand, made the sign of the cross and made the sign of the cross to mother. She smiled joyfully, sighed slightly, and she was gone. When I returned home, I felt not sorrow, but joy that I was privileged to be present at the death of the righteous woman. The funeral of Mother Euphrosyne was solemn, many people accompanied her to the grave. The burial was performed by the archbishop, who, after committing her ashes to the earth, said a heartfelt word. It turned out that Mother Euphrosyne was secretly tonsured with the name Varvara. This is how they remembered her - the newly deceased schema-nun Varvara. No one knew this except her and the archbishop, and she hid it from me. The deceased was very humble. For her holy life, the Lord granted her the gift of clairvoyance, but she tried not to reveal this gift. She often told me: “Perhaps the Lord will vouchsafe you to serve Him in the monastic rank.” Probably, my future was open to her spiritual gaze, but in her humility she never spoke in the affirmative, but always added “maybe.” She was buried near the Smolensk Cathedral. Everyone who knew her, with tears, but also with hope, saw her off to a better world, believing that she would remember them as saints with her prayers at the Throne of God. Write down the name of Schema-nun Varvara in your memorials, so that she will pray to the Lord for you too. May the Lord grant us a Christian death, as the Church prays: “The Christian death of our life is painless, shameless, peaceful, and we ask for a good answer at the Last Judgment of Christ.” Amen. Glory to the Lord! We have reached the holidays; these days are called Christmastide, that is, holy days, since the Church devotes them to the memory of the Nativity of the Savior of the world. But what’s happening in the world now is scary to even think about! Overeating, drunkenness, debauchery... Gogol has a story “How Ivan Ivanovich and Ivan Nikiforovich quarreled”, it describes how, because of an insignificant reason, two friends quarreled for life. They exhausted all their funds on the courts, reaching poverty, just to accuse each other. Sad story! At the end of the story, the author adds: “It’s boring to live in this world, gentlemen.” We are going through tough times right now. People rebel against each other, sparing neither kinship nor friendship; rebel against legitimate authority. Everything has been trampled under foot - faith, virtue, shame. It’s not boring, but scary to live in this world, gentlemen! However, one should not be despondent from this, it was worse, but it passed - so the present will calm down. This time is not yet before the Antichrist. Unbridledness intensified after the announcement of all kinds of freedoms under Alexander II. Theater has a corrupting effect on the soul. Immoral things are often played out in it, such as Andreev’s “Anatema” and the like. The Lord is merciful, but also just. The Holy Scripture says: The Lord is not mocked 133. He tolerates sins and iniquities for a long time, but if a person does not want to correct himself, he punishes the wicked with sudden death. “Whatever I find, that is what I will judge,” says the Lord. The fate of a person who dies suddenly while committing sins will be terrible. One rich man, having married a poor girl, soon began to mock her in every possible way, and he himself indulged in a riotous life. Once he was in the theater at an immoral performance. During the intermission, he went to the buffet, grabbed a glass of wine and suddenly fell dead. What is it like for such a soul to appear at the judgment of God? Once in Vienna, at the Rink Theater, there was some kind of blasphemous performance. Suddenly a fire broke out and quickly spread throughout the building, killing many people. A stunning impression was made by the sight of the mass of coffins, which then stretched towards the cemetery, and what the afterlife fate of the dead people was - it’s scary to think! Now everything is allowed, theatrical performances take place even on major holidays. Previously, they did not play in state-owned theaters on holidays. I remember once in Kazan, on the feast day of St. Nicholas, a performance was given, when suddenly a fire broke out behind the scenes, causing general panic. However, there were no human casualties. The Lord had mercy on the saint for his prayers. For a long time after this, no performances were given on the feast of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker. When I was in the world, I loved opera. Good serious music gave me pleasure, and I always had a subscription - a seat in the stalls. Subsequently, when I learned other, spiritual consolations, opera ceased to interest me. When the valve in the heart closes for the perception of worldly pleasures, then another valve opens for the perception of spiritual ones. But how to acquire this? First of all, peace and love for others. He is long-suffering, he is merciful, he does not envy love, he is not proud of love, he is not proud, he is not rude, he does not seek his own, he is not irritated, he does not think evil, he does not rejoice in unrighteousness, he rejoices in the truth, he loves everything, has faith in everything, trusts everything, endures everything. Lyuba no longer disappears... 134 Then, patience. Who will be saved? – Enduring to the end 135. Next - removal from sinful pleasures, such as cards, dancing, etc. One man saw quadrille dancers in a dream, and the Angel of the Lord admonished him, saying: “Look what they are doing. Lord, this is a desecration of the Cross of Christ! Indeed, the French quadrille was invented in the era of the revolution to trample the cross, because it is danced by either four or eight people so that the cross comes out just right. One schema-woman saw a similar dream; she imagined that the dancers were engulfed in flames and surrounded by a rope, and demons were jumping and gloating about the death of people. Now there are holidays, but what a difference between how these holy days are celebrated in the world and in the monastery! There they serve the enemy, here in the monastery they serve God. While in the world lawlessness reaches its greatest development, in the monastery there is joy and peace in the Lord! The solemn service touches the soul and disposes it to more deeply feel all the boundless goodness of the Lord, now born of the Blessed Virgin Mary. In our country, for example, even nature itself disposes us to quiet joy in the Lord. While in the world they are fond of secular literature, often immoral, in the monastery they are reading the Psalter and in their free time - the Lives of the Saints. When I entered the monastery, I had a desire to re-read all our classics, I revealed this to the Elder, but he forbade it. Now I rejoice that I listened to wise advice, since the desire to engage in secular literature was a bait of the enemy in order to arouse in me memories of worldly life, and perhaps even regret about it. I do not want to say that reading the works of our great writers is a sin, but there is reading that is more useful and edifying. First, reading the Psalter: here we can find all the aesthetic pleasures. This book was written by the holy king and prophet David at the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, the prophet himself says about this: My tongue is the reed of a scribe 136. Indispensable reading, which has such a beneficial effect on the soul, is the Lives of the Saints, especially in the Slavic language. Nowadays the Slavic language is not always understood, but yet it is incomparably more beautiful and richer than Russian. One expert on it, comparing the Slavic language with Russian, said that the difference between them is the same as between a palace and a tavern... In the world, reading the Lives of Saints, and especially in the Slavic language, has been completely abandoned; Do not conform to the customs of this age, but engage in this saving reading. Visit monasteries, especially on holidays; when I’m gone, don’t forget to come here to rest your soul. Or maybe the Lord will grant one of you the monastic rank. Although monastic life is full of sorrows and temptations, it also brings with it great consolations, about which the world has not the slightest idea. However, no matter how you save yourself, just to save yourself and achieve the Kingdom of Heaven, which may the Lord vouchsafe us all. Amen. In my youth, by my enthusiastic nature, without, however, ever falling away from the Lord Jesus Christ, I was carried away by idealistic German philosophers: Hegel and others. While traveling on business, I found myself in the ancient city of Rostov. In the city there was an old Kremlin and an ancient, dimly lit cathedral, where several relics rested. I went there, there was an all-night vigil, a wonderful choir was singing. I stood there and prayed quite well—that’s how it went before the Gospel. Read the Gospel. The headman asks me: – Sir, maybe you’ll go and venerate the Gospel? “And then, perhaps, you’d like to venerate the relics—here are the tombs.” I went to venerate the Gospel with the same indifference, then I approached the first tomb, and as soon as I venerated, they sang: “The desert has flourished like a cranium, Lord, the pagan barren church, by Your coming...” 137 . This singing amazed me. I venerated the other relics and, not paying attention to those around me, cried, cried like a child. Here they look at me in surprise - well, some old woman would cry, otherwise it would be a young officer. And then I realized that no human wisdom can compare with spiritual wisdom. Amen. April 11, 1911 Monday of Holy Week “Resurrection day, let’s enlighten ourselves, people. Easter, the Lord’s Easter, from death to Life, and from earth to Heaven, Christ God has brought us, singing in victory” 138. What could be more enthusiastic, more joyful than this canon? Where is the most joy expressed? Complete joy does not happen in this life, where we see God only as a mirror in fortune-telling 139 reflected. This joy will come there, beyond the grave, when we see the Lord face to face. Not everyone will see God in the same way, but according to each one’s acceptability - after all, the vision of the Seraphim is different from the vision of simple Angels. One thing can be said: whoever has not seen Christ here in this life will not see Him there either. The ability to see God is achieved precisely by working on oneself in this life. The life of every Christian person can be depicted graphically in the form of a continuously ascending line, ascending even at chicken steps. Only the Lord does not allow man to see this ascent; he hides it, knowing human weakness, knowing that, observing his own improvement, it will not take long for a person to become proud, and where there is pride, there will be a fall into the abyss. A terrible thing was invented by various Franklins 140, who proposed to mark on special tablets what you have succeeded in in a day, in a week, etc. This way you can reach incredible beauty and fall into the abyss of destruction. No, our path is different: we must all strive for Heaven, for the East, for God; and everyone must see their sins and weaknesses, confess themselves to be weak and the first of sinners, see themselves below everyone, and everyone above them. This is what is difficult. We all strive to notice others: this is what he is weak in, but I am not, I am a good boy, I am better than him - and so with everyone... We must fight this. This struggle is difficult, but without it it is impossible to see God. Only those in that life will be honored to see God who have seen Him in this life. True, few saw Him face to face in this life, like Rev. Seraphim of Sarov, but everyone without exception should strive to see Him at least visually. And you see Christ, even just a little, as if through a crack, but you see Him - you see by faith... After all, you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ? - And fulfilling the commandments. Well, at least by trying to fulfill His commandments. Are you trying to fulfill them? – Well, to the best of your ability, you see Christ. Can you look directly at the sun with your simple eye? - True, you can’t - human vision is not adapted to that. But the eagle, they say, rises high above the earth, soars in the sky and looks at the sun with unblinking eyes. A man cannot bear the fullness of the light, but an eagle can. So it is with the Divine Light: those whose spiritual vision is adapted to it, that is, the saints, will see It, but others will not. – But people also enjoy the sun? - Yes, yes, although he cannot bear the fullness of the light, he also rejoices in the light of the sun... One restless intellectual writes to me: “It’s very difficult for me. Outwardly, everything is going well: things are going well, the family is friendly, the wife is good. But the trouble is that I have no one to open my soul to: my wife doesn’t understand what I’m yearning for, and the children are still small. What should I do? How to get rid of melancholy and sorrow? I advised him to read the Psalter. There is in the 93rd Psalm: Because of the multitude of my illnesses in my heart, Your consolations have made my soul glad 141. “Take hold of this verse,” I wrote to him, “and begin to read the Psalter. I think God will comfort you.” Some time passes, I receive a letter: “I listened to you, began to read the Psalter, and I don’t understand anything in it.” I write to him: “Our great elder Fr. Ambrose responded to the same statement: you don’t understand, but the demons understand perfectly well and run away. Read without understanding yet, but someday you will begin to understand.” I don't know what will happen to him next. And I repeat to you: read the Psalter every day, at least a little, and the Lord will not leave you with His mercy, He will always be your Helper and Comforter. Amen. April 12, 1911 Tuesday of Holy Week In the first days of Christianity, the followers of Christ the Savior received communion every day, and they led a life equal to the angels, they were ready to appear before the Face of God every minute. No Christian was safe. It often happened that in the morning a Christian received communion, and in the evening he was captured and taken to the Colosseum. Of course, being in constant danger, Christians vigilantly monitored their inner world and lived their lives in purity and holiness. But the first centuries have passed, persecution by the infidels has ceased, and the ever-present danger has passed. Then, instead of daily communion, they began to receive communion once a week, then once a month, and even reduced it to once a year. In our Skete we adhere to the Rule of Mount Athos, where it was compiled by the holy elders and handed down for constant edification, and in our monastery we also adhere to this rule. All monks receive communion five times a year, but for blessed reasons it is possible more often. They are so accustomed to this that more frequent communion attracts everyone’s attention. – Why is Father Jerome taking communion today? - one monk asks, for example, another. “The devil appeared to him in a sensual way, and therefore he became completely relaxed. - Ah... well, then it’s clear... However, you can always confess, even every day, and here we confess very often; the hermits even come to the elder every day for the revelation of their thoughts, and the monastic brethren come once a week. And from the monastic brethren, especially from the sketes, a high life is required according to the commandments of Christ, a life equal to the angels. Our deceased elders fulfilled these lofty covenants, and the Lord glorifies them. Their bodies, we believe, lie incorruptible; about Father Fr. Macarius is reliably known that his body did not undergo decay, as they could verify when they erected a chapel over him, but he died about sixty years ago. A wonderful phenomenon! The bodies of the righteous and ascetics are incorruptible, but from the bodies of the kings and rulers of this world there remains a handful of ash - and nothing more. Recently they wrote that during excavations of the catacombs the graves of Diocletian, Nero 142 and other rulers were found, before whom the whole universe once trembled, and what is the fate of their ashes? When the servant was asked what was in the urns, he answered indifferently: - And I gave it to my wife for washing clothes - good ash... Oh my God! Could these rulers ever have imagined that their ashes would end up in the laundry tank! How much these people cared about their bodies, and this is the fate of these bodies! The saints, as well as all our Optina elders, killed their bodies, and it remained incorrupt. Our holy monastery attracts many pilgrims, and the opinion is often heard that having visited Optina once, they strive there with all their souls. Our monastery has neither miraculous icons nor glorified relics, but the whole earth here is, as it were, watered with the blood and sweat of the holy elders, and through their prayers grace is brought down upon the souls of believers. This is not the case anywhere else. Even our Bishop 143, who as a bishop visits many monasteries, always said that there is something special in Optina. There are few hermitages in Russia, but there will probably be ten hermitages. We have one Skete 144, where very rarely are any outsiders in the church, and then only for mass. We always perform Matins only with our skete family. Our church makes a strong impression on outside visitors. Quiet singing of an ancient tune, touching service, solitude. Inoki - everyone has their own specific place where they stand constantly. The ringing of the monastery bells is also special: quiet, deserted. One pious man once donated to us a bell weighing one hundred and fifty pounds, but it did not approach the Skete and was removed. We have the largest one - 39 pounds. Thank God that in the present age, the age of unbelief and complete unbridled morals, there are still holy places in Rus', quiet havens for those who want to be saved. It is difficult to be saved in the world among the temptations and customs of this world, which run counter to the Holy Church. Good and evil conversations corrupt customs 145. It is difficult to escape in the midst of a corrupt society. The Holy Scripture says: With the venerable one you will be, and with the innocent man you will be innocent. And with the chosen you will be chosen, and with the obstinate you will be corrupted 146. Sinful passions have a destructive effect on both the soul and the body. Reading the Holy Fathers, I, already in the monastery, learned for the first time that passions are as contagious as contagious diseases, and just as the latter can be transmitted through objects, so can the former. When St. Spyridon, Bishop of Trimifuntsky 147, was traveling to the Ecumenical Council, and on the way he stopped at a hotel. The monk accompanying the saint, entering him, asked: “Father, I can’t understand why our horse doesn’t eat the cabbage that I bought for it from our owner; The cabbage is good, fresh, enough for a person to eat, but a horse won’t eat it? “Because,” said the saint, “the animal feels the unbearable stench emanating from the cabbage, which occurs because our owner is infected with the passion of stinginess.” A person who is not enlightened by the Spirit of God does not notice this, but saints have the gift of God to recognize passions. One day one of Father’s visitors, Fr. Ambrose asked the latter to sell his fur coat, almost completely new, with expensive fur, for half the price. For this purpose, he left the fur coat with the Elder. Having heard about it, the Kozel police officer came to the priest, asking for his blessing for the purchase. “No,” answered the Elder, “I don’t bless her, she doesn’t suit you; there, in Kozelsk, there is one Jew, he will buy it.” The police officer obeyed. It turned out that the fur coat belonged to a man infected with pride, and this passion was passed on to the person who bought it. It is surprising, of course, that animals sense the stench of passions. Not all, of course, but only by the special providence of God, but many animals have so-called double vision and see spirits, which among people are usually seen only by holy people. One rich landowner had a big fire in his house. On the eve of the fire, when the landowner was resting in his office, his father, who had died shortly before, suddenly ran into the room, dressed as if in a coffin, and exclaimed: “Fire!” The dog, who was sleeping right there, rushed at the dead man barking desperately. The owner woke up and could not understand what happened to the dog, since he did not see his late father, only his servant and the dog saw him. The servant later told about this. The Holy Scripture tells how a donkey saw an Angel blocking her path, but the prophet did not see 148. Animals have such special vision, of course, for our understanding. Observation of the surrounding nature also gives us a lot of edification. Everyone knows the sunflower plant. It always turns its yellow head towards the sun, reaching for it, which is where it got its name. But it happens that a sunflower stops turning towards the sun, then those experienced in this matter say that it has begun to deteriorate, a worm has appeared in it, it must be cut off quickly. A soul hungry for God’s justification, like a sunflower, strives and reaches out to God, the Source of light, but if it has ceased to seek Him, therefore, such a soul perishes. It is necessary to experience Christ in this life; whoever did not see Him here will not see Him there, in the future life. But how to see Christ? The way to this is opened by the unceasing Jesus Prayer, which alone is capable of instilling Christ in our souls. At Rev. John Climacus was asked whether there are sure signs by which one can know whether a soul is drawing closer to God or moving away from Him. After all, regarding everyday objects there are certain signs whether they are good or not; when, for example, cabbage, meat, and fish begin to rot, it is easy to notice this, because spoiled objects begin to emit a bad smell, change color and taste, and their appearance indicates spoilage. Well, what about the soul? After all, she is incorporeal and cannot emit a bad smell or change her appearance. To this question the holy father answered: the first sign of the death of the soul is avoidance of church services. A person who grows cold towards God, first of all, begins to avoid going to church. At first he tries to come to the service later, and then he completely stops visiting the church of God. This is why attendance at services is mandatory for monks. True, for urgent matters, sometimes it is allowed not to go to all services, but if possible, this is considered a necessary duty. In our Skete they even go around the cells on holidays so that no one avoids church services. However, this is also done for another reason. Terrible phenomena sometimes happen in the cells of monks. We live in separate cells, but there must be at least two people in a separate room. This is so that in case of any demonic obsessions you can knock on your neighbor’s cell and ask for help. We had an outbuilding where only a monk lived, but now they don’t allow one to live there. Once there was such a case 149. After the evening rule, he saw that some man, already of advanced years, was sitting in his cell and said to him: - Why are you just smoking the sky here? Return to your previous activities, you will bring much more benefit there and, receiving a good salary, you will live for your pleasure. - But how to leave here? The doors of the Skeet are tightly locked. “Don’t worry about it, just wish it and I’ll transport you instantly.” There are already three at the gate. - But who are you? Right, demon? – Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me! - exclaimed the monk who came to his senses, and the evil spirit disappeared. It was about twelve o'clock at night when the monk ran to Father Fr. Ambrose and told him about what had happened. “Yes, you had a terrible vision,” said the Elder. – You had an eight-legion demon, and whoever it appears almost always kills. “The Lord informed me that you are in danger,” answered Fr. Ambrose, - I stood up to pray, and the Lord reminded you of His terrible and glorious name, which the powers of hell tremble. Yes, scary things happen here sometimes. But in a monastery it is easier to defeat the devil, but in the world it is incomparably more difficult, and the eight-legion demon, having appeared, kills. And he appears to people who have not yet begun to live, but are only thinking about improving their lives. When I was in the world, I had a friend who was skeptical about monasteries. “I don’t understand why people, especially monks, sit alone in their cells and move away from human gaze,” he said. Meanwhile, this man was a monk at heart, and his soul was pure and sublime. A poet and musician, he had a special ability to recite poetry like no other. Music was his passion. It happened that he would tell us something and suddenly exclaim: “No, I don’t know how to explain this in words, but this is what!” - sits down at the piano, throws his head back, and plays an improvisation. “Got it?” - he will ask later. Often you cannot understand him, but he did not change his system of explanations. His apartment was furnished with taste and not banal: there were no sofas in it with tables in front of them and armchairs on the sides, but everything was beautiful, elegant, original, just as its occupant was extraordinary. His soul was always fed by high ideals and was far from any everyday prose. At first he rejected monasticism, but after that he found complete satisfaction of his high aspirations precisely in monasticism, in the monastery on Mount Athos, where he went, leaving everything in the world. I was happy in the world because I became close to people who truly deserved deep respect. I also happened to attend large gatherings. Others play cards, dance, and I, with several people of the same mental disposition, go somewhere to the most distant living room and talk. I used to not like to say stupid things in the world; sometimes there is nothing to say - and I remain silent, and sometimes - where does everything come from? Many people noticed this. Of course, my removal from the temptations of this world confused many, and when I stopped attending noisy meetings and began to love going to the monastery, they began to speak of me as crazy, or at least not quite normal. - Did you hear? Pavel Ivanovich got along with the monks! - Really? What a miserable man! – This was the opinion of worldly people about me. Yes, it is difficult to be saved in the world, but it is still possible. There are different paths to salvation. Saint Nicholas of Myra 150 went into the desert to labor there in fasting and prayer, but the Lord did not bless him to stay there. Having appeared to the saint, the Lord told him to go into the world. “This is not the field on which you will bear fruit for Me,” said the Lord. Taisia, Maria of Egypt, Evdokia 151 also did not live in monasteries. You can be saved everywhere, just don’t leave the Savior. Cling to the robe of Christ, and He will not leave you. Today are the days of Holy Easter, the greatest holiday of the Christian Church, “the holidays of Feast and Solemnity are celebrations” 152. Every day the church is filled with joyful songs of the Easter canon. I remember how Mother Euphrosyne 153 admired the canon. “Here,” she said, “my life has passed, I don’t know anything good with which to appear before the Throne of God, but I hear singing: “Resurrection Day, let us be enlightened, people...” - and my soul becomes joyful and calm. “For from death to Life, and from earth to Heaven, Christ God has brought us.” The Lord fulfilled Mother Euphrosyne’s wish, and she died on Easter. When they lifted the coffin with her withered body, the choir sang “Resurrection Day” instead of “Holy God” 154, the doors of the church opened wide, light poured from the street like a wave, and she went to the eternal, unstoppable Light. May the Lord grant us such a blessed death. Pray about this and when the deacon proclaims: “The Christian death of our belly is painless, shameless, peaceful” - do not forget to put down a bow, may the Lord rest you with all the saints. Amen. April 13, 1911 Wednesday of Bright Week Our life in heaven is 155 - this is always the topic of my conversations; With this thought I tear myself and my listeners away from attachment to earthly, created things. Our life is in heaven. Dissatisfaction with earthly things is felt both among our great writers, for example, Turgenev, Pushkin, and among foreign ones - Schiller, Shakespeare, Heine. About fifty years ago, when I was still walking through the streets of this world, I read Heine, but his work always made a heavy impression on me. It was a great talent, but not enlightened by the spirit of Christ's faith. Originally a Jew, although he converted to Christianity, it was only to gain privileges. At heart he was an atheist, not believing in either Christianity or Judaism. And the ancient pagan philosophers, for example Aristotle, Plato, Socrates, were not satisfied with earthly things. But here’s a sad phenomenon: the higher they tried to fly, the deeper they fell. This does not happen with a Christian; on the contrary, ascending from the earth, tearing his heart away from worldly attachments, ascending mountain to God, he changes, is reborn and is able to feel high joys. The longing for lost bliss is evident in the works of great writers and artists, but nowhere is this sorrow, dissolved, however, by consolation, expressed as strongly as in our church chants and prayers. In them one can hear either a sob for the lost Paradise, or a deep contrition for sins, or a joyful and victorious song about our Redeemer. Take, for example, the Easter Canon - how majestic and sweet it is, how it touches and comforts a soul that has not yet lost its taste for the spiritual! “Now everything is filled with Light, heaven and earth and the underworld, so that all creation celebrates the rebellion of Christ, in which it is established” 157. Yes, these are great days. These days people rejoice in the world, but not in a spiritual way: one rejoices that he received money, another rejoices at ranks and orders, a third for other reasons. Some are rejoicing that the fast has passed and permission has come for “everything.” This is, perhaps, a legitimate joy, unless one believes that the main happiness lies in food. But in holy abodes there is joy in the Risen Jesus. Don’t give up visiting holy monasteries, especially on holidays, when I won’t be there either. Spiritual life glimmers here, warming the human soul. True, there are also earthly joys that ennoble the soul. There is no sin, for example, to enjoy the beauties of this world. There are incredibly beautiful places on earth. The Alps are beautiful, illuminated by the sun, many places in Italy are magnificent, there is a proverb about Naples: “Look at Naples and die.” This is not said about either Paris or Rome, but they speak specifically about Naples, which is, indeed, wonderfully beautiful with its blue sea and blue mountains. Our northern nature is also good. Turgenev vividly and vividly described it in his works. By the way, he was in Optina and admired the beauty of our monastery. But the present world is only a weak semblance of the world that once existed before the Fall. There is a heavenly world, the beauties of which we have no idea about, but only holy people understand it and enjoy it. This world remained intact, but the earthly world changed dramatically after the Fall. It’s the same as if someone divided the best piece of music, for example, Beethoven, into separate tones, then the impression of the whole would not come out. Or if Raphael’s painting was torn into pieces and examined separately, then what would we see? Some finger, on another piece - a piece of clothing, etc., but of course we would not get the majestic impression that Raphael’s work gives. Break a magnificent statue into pieces - the impression of beauty will not come out. So is the current world. Some ascetics even turned their gaze away from him. There is one known ascetic who blocked the only window of his cell with an icon, and from it a delightful view opened up. He was asked: “How is it that you, father, don’t even want to look, but we can’t stop admiring the sky, the mountains, and the Aegean Sea with its islands?” “You don’t understand why I close the window, but I have no desire to contemplate the beauty of this world,” answered the ascetic. This is because he contemplated the beauty of the heavenly world and did not want to divert his attention from it. Indeed, he who has known the highest bliss is insensitive to earthly consolations. But for this knowledge one must have a high soul. I remember such a case. It was evening in one rich family. On it, one talented girl performed one of Mozart’s best works amazingly well. Everyone was in admiration, and a footman stood at the lintel, serving cigarettes and generally serving the guests, and yawned: “Why are gentlemen listening to such boring music? If only we could play the balalaika...” He was right in his judgment, since serious music was incomprehensible to him. To understand works of even earthly art, one must have artistic taste. Let's take singing, for example. Nowadays, even into the church, theatrical melodies and melodies are penetrating, displacing ancient singing, and yet this latter is often highly artistic, but is not understood. Once I was at mass in a monastery and for the first time I listened to the so-called pillar singing there. “Cherubic”, “Mercy of the World” and other chants made a strong impression on me. There were few people, I stood in the corner and cried like a child. After mass, I went to the abbot and told him about my impression. - And you’ve probably never heard the crowd singing? – the abbot asked me. “No,” I answer, “I didn’t even know the name.” -What is a pillar nobleman? - Well, it means having an ancient family. – So pillar singing is an ancient singing, we borrowed it from the fathers, and they from the Greeks. Now it is rarely found anywhere, people forget it, many new tunes have appeared - Alyabyev, Lvov and others. True, some of the new ones are extremely talented: Turchaninov, for example. His tunes are known not only in Russia, but also abroad, even in America, and the British also appreciated him. Recently the regent asked me: – Bless the celebrant to sing “Resurrection Day.” “God bless,” I answer, “that’s what’s needed.” - What kind? Sing at least one voice. - He sang. “Well,” I say, “such a tune can only evoke tears of despondency, and not at all a joyful mood.” No, sing it the old-fashioned way. The melody of the Easter Canon was composed by John of Damascus 158 and how wonderfully and majestically composed! It elevates the soul and fills with spiritual joy, according to the receptivity of each one. But the question arises: where is the key to unlocking spiritual joys? There is only one answer to this: in the Jesus Prayer. This prayer has great power. And it has different degrees. The very first is a simple utterance of the words “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” At the highest levels, it reaches such strength that it can move mountains. This, of course, not everyone can achieve, but saying the words “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me” is not difficult for everyone, and the benefits are enormous, for this prayer is the most powerful weapon for the fight against passions. One, for example, is proud, another is overcome by lustful thoughts - it seems she doesn’t even see men, but her thoughts are all fornication, the third is envious, but there is no strength to fight, where can I get them? Only in the Jesus Prayer. The enemy distracts from it in every possible way: “Well, what nonsense is it to repeat the same thing, when neither the mind nor the heart participates in prayer, it is better to replace it with something else.” Don't listen to him: he's lying. Continue to practice prayer, and it will not remain fruitless. All the saints adhered to this prayer, and it became so dear to them that they would not exchange it for anything. When their mind was distracted by something else, they languished and sought to begin prayer again. Their desire was similar to the desire of a thirsty person, for example, to quench his thirst after salty food. Sometimes such a person is unable to satisfy his thirst for some time due to lack of water, but his desire intensifies even more from this, and, having found a source, he drinks insatiably. So the saints longed to begin prayer, and began with fiery love. The Jesus Prayer brings us closer to Christ. The once famous ascetic Georgy 159 labored in Zadonsk. Early on he comprehended all the vanity of worldly life and went to a monastery. But he was not satisfied with this either, but chose complete solitude for himself - a seclusion. Here, in fasting, prayer and contemplation of God, he spent time, but temptations did not leave him. When he was still in the world, he loved with pure love one girl, and her image often stood before him, disturbing his peace of mind. One day, feeling powerless in the fight, he exclaimed: “Lord, if this is my cross, then give me strength to bear it, and if not, erase from my memory the very memory of her!” The Lord heard him. And then that same night he sees in a dream a girl of extraordinary beauty, dressed in golden clothes. Her gaze shone with so much unearthly grandeur and angelic purity that George could not take his eyes off her and asked with reverence: “My name is Chastity,” the girl answered, and the vision ended. Having come to his senses, the ascetic thanked the Lord for his admonition. The image he saw in a dream was so imprinted in his mind that it completely banished all other images. And I earnestly ask you: banish all images from your head and from your heart, so that there is only one image of Christ. But how to achieve this? Again, the Jesus Prayer! The other day one of our hermits came to see me. “I am becoming despondent, Abba, because I do not see a change for the better in myself, and yet I wear a lofty angelic image. After all, the Lord will strictly punish the one who is a monk or a schema-monk only for his clothes. But how to change? How to die to sin? I feel completely powerless... “Yes,” I answer, “we are completely bankrupt, and if the Lord judges by deeds, then, of course, we have nothing good.” – But is there any hope for salvation? - Of course there is! Always say the Jesus Prayer and leave everything to the will of God. – But what is the use of this prayer if neither the mind nor the heart participates in it? - Enormous benefit. Of course, this prayer has many divisions: from the simple pronunciation of this prayer to creative prayer, but for us to be at least on the last step is salutary. Enemy forces flee from the one who says this prayer, and sooner or later he will still be saved. - Resurrected! - the schema-monk exclaimed. - I won’t be sad anymore. To pronounce this prayer, no study of any science is required. Count Tolstoy was a comprehensively educated man, but he did not have Christ and died. Earthly knowledge did not help him. He rejected the Holy Church and was rejected. And so I repeat: say your prayer, even if only with your lips, and the Lord will never leave you. Little by little, oral prayer will turn into mental, and then into heartfelt. But this transition takes many years. One should not seek it prematurely; God will grant it at a time known to Him, depending on the spiritual age of the ascetic and circumstances. The humble ascetic is content with the fact that he is honored to remember God. And he already considers this a great benefit of the Creator for the poor and weak creature - man, he recognizes himself as unworthy of grace, does not seek to reveal its actions in himself, learning from the teaching of the Holy Fathers that such a search has its beginning in vanity, from which delusion and fall. Whoever, with constancy and reverence, engages in attentive prayer, pronouncing its words loudly or in a whisper, depending on the need, and enclosing the mind in words, who, in the feat of prayer, constantly rejects all thoughts and dreams, not only sinful and vain, but, apparently, also good, the Merciful Lord will grant in due time mental, heartfelt and spiritual 160 prayer. Now is a joyful time - Easter. “Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and giving life to those in the tombs” 161. Who are these “those in the graves”? These are all people, sinners, previously dead to God, but resurrected to new life by the death of Christ the Savior. Amen. June 19, 1911 About the Jesus Prayer (Father began the conversation by reading an excerpt from the book “On the Caucasus Mountains” 162 about the Jesus Prayer. He warned that for those of us who had visited him before, what we read would not say anything new; everything will be familiar, but this familiarity can be repeated many times. The passage begins with the words: “What angelic language can express the entire meaning of the Jesus Prayer?”) So, the author thinks that it is not human language to speak about it. But what kind of angelic language is this? And is there such a language? Of course there is. But we cannot imagine its properties, because it does not consist of sounds, there will be nothing sensual there. We know that people often understand each other without words. There is a language of the eyes - people look at each other and understand, although nothing was said between them. There is a sign language that is used to communicate with the deaf and dumb. We do not know what the angelic language will be. And will the angelic language be enough to express the meaning of the Jesus Prayer? It is understandable only to those who have learned it from experience. To practice this prayer, the author of the book retired to the Caucasus mountains and there led a solitary life, only occasionally coming to the monastery for confession and communion of the Holy Mysteries. Everything described in his book deserves complete trust, as he realized it through experience. The action of this prayer is all shrouded in the greatest mysteries. It does not consist in just saying the words “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner,” but it reaches the heart and mysteriously settles in it. Through this prayer we enter into communion with the Lord Jesus Christ, become assimilated to Him, and merge with Him into one whole. This prayer fills the soul with peace and joy in the midst of the most difficult trials, in the midst of all the cramped conditions and bustle of life. I received a letter: “Father, I’m suffocating! Sorrows press in on all sides; there’s nothing to breathe, nothing to look back on... I don’t see joy in life, its very meaning is lost.” What do you say to such a grieving soul? What must we endure? And sorrows, like a millstone, oppress the soul, and it suffocates under their weight. Please note that I am not talking about unbelievers and atheists now; I’m not talking about those who yearn when they have lost God. No, believing souls who have embarked on the path of salvation, souls under the influence of Divine grace, lose the meaning of life. They do not know that this is a temporary, transitional state that must be waited out. They write: “I’m falling into despondency, something dark is surrounding me.” I am not saying that such grief is legitimate, I am not saying that this grief is the lot of every person. This is not a punishment - it is a cross, and this cross must be borne. But how to carry it? Where is the support? Others look for this support and consolation from people, think to find peace in the world - and do not find it. Why? Because they are looking in the wrong place. Peace, light and strength must be sought in God, through the Jesus Prayer. It will become very difficult for you, darkness will surround you - stand in front of the image, light the lamp, if it was not lit, kneel down if you can, or even say: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!” Say it once, twice, three times, so that it is not just the lips that pronounce this prayer, but it reaches the heart. However, the sweetest Name of the Lord will certainly reach the heart, and little by little melancholy and sorrow will disappear, the soul will brighten, quiet joy will reign in it. Only those who have experienced it can understand this wonderful effect of the Jesus Prayer. If a person has never tried honey and asks what it is, how can I explain it to him? You tell him: “It is sweet, it is prepared by the bees, they take it out of the hive, cut the honeycomb into pieces...” - and still he will not understand. Isn’t it easier to say: “If you want to know honey, try it. Have you tried it? Sweet?" - “Sweet.” - “Do you now know what honey is?” - "I know". Was it necessary to resort to any scientific explanations? A man tried it and understood it himself. So it is with the Jesus Prayer. And many, having recognized its sweetness and meaning, left everything and gave their whole lives to it in order to become close to it, to merge with the sweetest name of the Lord Jesus Christ. It is impossible for you, with your academic or other activities, to fill your entire life with the Jesus Prayer, but each of you goes through some 20, some 50, and some 100 prayers a day. Each one learns it according to its own strength. Let one succeed by an inch, another by an arshin, a third by a fathom, and another, perhaps, by a mile, gone ahead - the important thing is that at least by an inch, it went away, and thank God. People go to a monastery to practice this prayer. True, at present, monasteries, especially women’s monasteries, are placed in such a position that all the time is spent on fulfilling obediences: on chores, on work. It is difficult for the nuns, but still they gradually become imbued with prayer and become accustomed to it. I remember when I entered the monastery, I imagined that all they knew there was this (Father raised his hands in prayer). Well, when I entered, it turned out to be completely different. Prayer is not enough, prayerful work is not enough, you cannot live on prayer alone, you also need the work of obedience. If the work of prayer and the performance of obedience alternate, replacing one another, it is good, and this way it is easy to achieve salvation. Further in the book it is said that prayer can only be comprehended by one who has removed all worldly attachments from the heart; Only in a heart free from attachment to the world can the Lord dwell. I remember forty, or even fifty years ago it was - I was in the same house. There were many guests there. Some, as usual in the world, played cards, others talked, then the dancing began. It wasn’t a real ball, but it just happened unexpectedly. At this evening there was a girl of amazing beauty. She took no part in anything that happened around her. Several gentlemen approached to ask her to dance, but she refused. Then she got up, went to the piano and began to play. It was felt that she had completely withdrawn from her surroundings, gone into herself, into her inner world and, perhaps, into these sounds. It was a wonderful moonlit night. The girl played for a long time, and when she had played enough, she stood up, went to the window and thought. She interested me, and I decided to get to know her. I approach one lady and ask: - Introduce me to her. - Okay, I can introduce you, but is it worth it? I assure you that it is not at all interesting, and you will not find anything in it. “Well, let me judge that for myself.” And I met this girl. She was, I don’t remember how old, but at least twenty. She turned out to be a very deep person who lived her own inner life; she loved and loved as such people know how to love. “This is my first and, I assure you, my last love,” she said, and she didn’t lie. - You see, he is everything I live by, the light of my life, everything around me and in me is filled with him. Without him, everything is darkness, everything is darkness, and life loses all meaning. I gave him all of myself, my soul, my heart. - Yes, I love you and I will never love anyone else! After all, I gave my whole soul, my love - he has it all, he took it all with him to the grave, but I have nothing left. My acquaintance with this girl did not last long; she soon left for Samara, but all the time I knew her, she mourned her first love. “I will never love another,” she said. This meeting took place fifty years ago. If I met this girl now, I would know what to tell her. I would say: “Did you love? From such love there is only melancholy, only emptiness, and you say that you will not love another? And I advise you to love another. Do you know who? Lord Jesus Christ! You wanted to give your heart to a person - give it to Christ, and He will fill it with light and joy instead of the darkness and melancholy that remained for you after loving a person.” So I tell you: others, perhaps, have experienced such a feeling and, half extinguished, it still smolders as a barely visible spark in your heart - extinguish this spark! Others, perhaps, are now experiencing the very height of this feeling - drive it away, do not give your heart to it, since the Lord demands it for Himself. Give Me, son, your heart 163,” He addresses the man. Do not let your heart become attached to the corruptible blessings of this world, drive away all attachments from it, since only in a free heart, free from all attachments, can the Lord create an abode for Himself. The basis of all God's law is love for God and neighbor. Try to love the Lord; how to achieve this? He Himself told us about this: If you have My commandments and keep them, that is to love Me 164. So, according to the word of the Lord Himself, the path to Him, to Divine love, is one: fulfilling His commandments, about which He says: My commandments are not burdensome 165. Everyone knows these commandments, every day they are read or sung during the Divine Liturgy: bliss of the meek... bliss of mercy... 166, etc. Others will say: “I cannot keep this commandment, since I do not have the means to give alms.” No, and such a one can fulfill the commandment of mercy, and she can give, if not material, then spiritual alms. How is this possible, you ask? Here’s how: you were offended by such and such or such—forgive them, and that will be spiritual almsgiving. - No, I can’t do this! How can such a terrible insult be forgiven? Yes, as soon as I remember about it, I’m ready to tear to pieces the one who inflicted it on me, and you say, “I’m sorry.” - So you can’t forgive? – Don’t have enough strength? So ask God. Turn to Him and say: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner, and help me forgive.” Say it once, twice, three times... and what will happen? You will learn from experience and forgive the offender. “That’s the one who brought up my name like it’s evil in front of people, she said something that never happened, she doesn’t let me get away with barbs and ridicule.” - Be quiet, don’t answer anything, be patient. – Can this be tolerated? -Can’t? Turn to the Lord again: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner, and help me endure!” Try to say this and you will see from experience what comes of it. And so in every difficult situation, turn to the Lord, and he will help. Keep His commandments and ask for His help. The trouble is if someone relies on his own strength and decides to fulfill the commandments himself, without resorting to Divine help, who decides to do without humility. Two virtues are necessary in the matter of salvation: one is love, the other is humility. Without these two, not only mental prayer, but also salvation itself is impossible. After all, here is Tolstoy, how he ended horribly, but before he was a religious man, he ordered prayer services, he prayed with tears, everything seemed to be there, there was one thing that was missing - humility. He loved to judge others and did not know how to forgive people's shortcomings. We started talking to him about one of his neighbors. “What are you saying,” he says, “is he really a man?” - How then? Of course, man! - Well, what kind of person is he? Just a creature. - But everything is a creature. Angels, and those creatures: “Every creature, the angelic council and the human race, rejoices in You, O Most Gracious One...” 167 - No, he cannot be considered a human! “He’s an atheist, he doesn’t go to church, he doesn’t believe in God—is this a man?” - says Tolstoy. And the old nanny will tell him... (Knock on the door: Brother Gregory 168 says that Brother Philip 169 has come, asks for blessings to go and asks if they will give him a horse). We’ll give him a horse, let him harness it... (Brother Gregory left). This is how it is in the monastery: we are having the Jesus Prayer, and then Philip comes, we need a horse... Well, okay, the horse came running and ran away, but we were left to our own... So the old nanny said to Tolstoy: “Lyovushka, don’t judge them, let them do what they know, and don’t judge them, what do you care! Look after yourself." He could not change himself and ended badly. And now another thinks: “I go to church, but that one over there doesn’t go: well, what is she like!.. And that’s what she does, what does it look like?” - Yes, he keeps waving, and waving his hand, and still considers himself better than others. You look, and she got so far that she fell lower than those whom she condemned. You have to consider yourself worse, more unworthy than everyone else. So, here is the surest and only path to salvation: fulfilling the commandments of the Lord. The Lord said about them that they are not difficult, but we cannot accomplish them on our own; we must ask the Lord for help - and he will give. It seems simple. Simple, but difficult. Let us pray to Him that He will enlighten and strengthen us in His love. Amen. This morning I was in the monastery on business. God wished that, leaving there, I met one girl seeking the salvation of her soul, and one nun. We started talking about how human life is built. Bishop Ignatius (Brianchaninov), with whose works some of you may already be familiar, says that the life of every human soul is built according to a predetermined Divine plan. Others will ask: what kind of plan is this, and is it the same for all people, or does each individual life go according to a plan unique to it? We have to say that for all people going towards salvation, life follows the same plan, but the paths they follow are different. Imagine a circle: lines go from different points of the circle, which all converge at one point at the center. The center is Christ - the goal of every soul seeking salvation; and the radii are the different ways in which people come to Christ 170. The plan for the salvation of the human soul, according to Bishop Ignatius, is set out in the Bible, namely in the history of ancient Israel. The Jewish people lived in Egypt under the rule of the pharaohs. Not content with dominating Israel, the pharaohs began to oppress them, forcing them to do hard work and participate in the construction of the pyramids, which have survived to this day. Moreover, the pharaohs issued an order to kill Jewish newborn male babies, since the Jews multiplied very quickly. The people groan under someone else's yoke and wait for a deliverer from God. In the person of Moses, “taken out of the water” (note this to yourself - “taken out of the water”), a deliverer is sent to them. He performs many miracles, inflicting various executions on the Egyptians, and finally, Pharaoh releases the Jews. Moses leads them out of Egypt. This is the history of ancient Israel, but it serves as a prototype of what is happening to this day with the new Israel, with every Christian soul seeking salvation. Each soul languishes under the yoke of the mental pharaoh - Satan, each groans and waits for a deliverer; and the Savior appears - the Lord Jesus Christ, Whom the ancient Moses prefigured. Did he himself know that he was a prototype of the Savior? I think I did. The Lord delivers the soul from the oppression of Pharaoh, but what happens next? As soon as Israel left Egypt, Pharaoh already regretted letting him go and chased after him. This is what happens with the human soul. Others think that, having abandoned their previous negligence and embarked on the good path, they will firmly and unfalteringly follow it. They are mistaken; Satan, who released them from under his power, will certainly regret it and rush after them. The Israelites are fleeing, and now they are at the Red Sea. There is a chase behind, robbers on the right, desert on the left, and water in front of them. Where to go? Where to look for salvation? It would seem that the situation is hopeless. What about Moses? He prayed to God and struck the water with his rod, and it parted. The Jews entered the long water corridor: they walked along the dry bottom of the sea, and hordes of Egyptians were drawn in behind them. This corridor was not small. According to the research of scientists, it stretched up to forty miles in length. The Jews came out of the water, and Pharaoh and his army were already in the middle of the sea. What does Moses do? He prays again, and a new movement with the staff, which together with the previous movement formed a cross, and the waves close over the Egyptians; the whole army perished, not one was saved, according to the word of Scripture. There is no more danger, no more pursuit, and Israel calmly continues on its way, heading towards the promised land. Every human soul experiences a similar state, Satan does not leave it alone, sorrows and temptations approach from everywhere, darkness sets in all around; It seems that her situation is hopeless, it seems that there is nowhere to wait for help. But this is where God appears with His help. The Cross saved ancient Israel - the Cross of Christ saves new Israel, and often a soul close to despair does not know that it is already on the brink, beyond which a new path begins. So, the Red Sea has been passed. But it is still far from the promised land, from the land flowing with honey and milk; The Jews do not get there right away; Moses circles with them in the desert for forty years. Another person, having learned about the path of salvation and embarked on it, thinks that everything has already been done, that he has achieved holiness and is ready to almost fly to heaven. He's wrong. It is not enough to begin the path of salvation, it is not enough to turn to God; the country where honey and milk flow 171 does not yet begin. For forty years the Israelites walked with Moses through the desert, striving for the Promised Land. The desert is barren, there is nothing around, doubts attack the Jews more than once, but the Lord does not allow them to perish. Likewise, souls who have chosen the path of pleasing God, having freed themselves from the oppression of passions, having broken away from everything that previously constituted the content of their lives, are often frightened when they see themselves immediately in the desert. “Lord, what should we do now? How to live? Such a soul is in vain confused. God, who sent her Moses to lead her out of Egypt, will also send her manna, just as he did to the ancient Jews. The forty-year wandering of the Jews ends, which prefigured the wandering of every soul seeking the Heavenly Jerusalem. Did the Jews realize that they served as such a type? I don't think they understood. Who brings Israel into the promised land? Moses? No. Because he doubted Divine Providence, he dies before reaching Canaan, and Joshua brings the Jews there. Pay attention to this name: Jesus leads us into the Promised Land, and Jesus Christ opens the doors of Paradise to us, He leads us there with His Cross. The Cross of Christ is the greatest sacrament! Notice all the details of Christ’s saving suffering: He is crucified in the midst of two thieves. Why between robbers? There is also a deep meaning here. By His Crucifixion, the Lord saves us people from damnation and death, and all of us, sinners who have fallen away from God, are thieves before Him. It is no coincidence that the robbers hang to the right and left of Christ; this is the history of all subsequent humanity. The one hanging on the left spews blasphemies, and on the right a voice is heard: Remember me, Lord, when you come in Your Kingdom. And now we see division among people, and now we know both the right and the left - the latter themselves, having accepted this name, pronounce their verdict, they are not afraid of the example of the man hanged on the left. In the different fates of these two robbers are the fates of all humanity: one part of it is cast into hell with the blasphemer, the other hears the voice of the Lord Himself: Today you will be with Me in heaven 172 . Some go to destruction, others to Eternal Life. The goal of all earthly life is to inherit Eternal Life, that life where there will be no labor, no sighing and no sorrow. To achieve this Eternal Life they go to monasteries. However, I do not call anyone to the monastery and do not say that salvation is not possible in the world. I just can’t help but notice that the eyes of all the best people were directed precisely to monasticism. I will not cite the opinions of Church teachers who were educated in monasteries. I would like to draw your attention to the creations of the giants of secular literature. Let's take a representative of the Protestant people, the giant of human thought Shakespeare, and see what he says about life in the world. Through the lips of the hero of one of his best works, Hamlet, he attests to the world: “The world is an old garden overgrown with weeds.” Agree, this is not a very flattering description of the world. And then he adds, turning to Ophelia: “Ophelia, go to the monastery.” This is how Shakespeare reacted to the world and the monastery. Others say that monasticism was not established by the Lord, that there is no indication of it in the Gospel. This is not true. He who is able to contain, let him contain 173 - the Lord says specifically about those who thirst for a higher spiritual life. You can be saved in the world, but the highest perfection is achieved in monasteries. And the Scripture says: He who gets married does not care... how to please the Lord, but he who gets married... how to please his wife 174 . This is the difference between the world and the monastery. And I repeat again: I am not calling you to join a monastery, and there are many paths in the world that lead to God and to your neighbors: this is a holy thing, undoubtedly, to save others and to save yourself. For example, the venerable Elena Andreevna Voronova 175 devoted her entire life to serving unfortunate outcast people. She travels to prisons, comforts prisoners, serves them, talks with them and tries to awaken in them the deadened feeling of love for God and for their neighbors - this is a holy work, undoubtedly - saving others, and she is saved. Others dedicated their lives to serving the sick - and this is a great thing. Others teach – it is also a great thing to be with children, to sow the seeds of God’s truth in their hearts, as far as it is in their power, as far as they themselves have understood and assimilated it. And others, perhaps not satisfied with this service of theirs, will want to achieve the highest perfection, break ties with the world and enter the holy monastery, and will fulfill this, if only their desire pleases God. Amen. It sometimes happens that when the soul languishes in such coldness, such lack of taste for everything spiritual, the enemy attacks more strongly, raising evil thoughts, shameful movements and seductive dreams. His goal is that, having given in to despair from the feeling of abandonment by God, a person should give up his hands and lean toward something passionate, because after this it is easy for him to be drawn back into the whirlpool of a sinful life. Knowing this, stand firm. Let the waves of sin rage around your heart, but as long as you have a reluctance to sin and a desire to remain faithful to God, your boat is safe. The grace of God has taken its consolations from you, but it is nearby and watches, and will not leave you without help as long as your will stands on the side of good; stand firm, inspired by the confidence that this storm will soon pass, and with it your dryness will cease. Believe that this was allowed for your good, for, having endured this time of temptation, you will come out of it with greater knowledge of your weakness, with greater humility and with greater confidence in God’s help always ready for you 176. This state, which is spoken of here, is experienced by every Christian soul seeking salvation. Of course, it is difficult to experience this “lack of taste for the spiritual,” the feeling of complete abandonment by God, strong attacks from the enemy, but the Lord turns everything for our good. It is only necessary to desire salvation, to thirst for it, and Christ will never leave us. He who thirsts for salvation, of course, will fulfill the commandments of the Lord to the best of his ability. True, this is not easy, since we will have to fight our sinful flesh, which attracts us to evil. The Holy Apostle Paul, the greatest righteous man, also complains about the difficulty of the struggle: I do not want good, but I do it, but I do not want evil, I do it 177. How can you resist enemy attacks? How to walk the path to salvation without stumbling? Imagine a man walking into a city and getting lost along the way. He's scared. He is alone at night in the thicket of the forest. In the distance you can hear the howling of wolves, nearby the sound of a rushing stream, into which he almost fell, there are sharp stones, there is a mountain, and beyond it an abyss. Dangers lurk at every step, and a person feels completely helpless. But suddenly a light flashed, and a forest guard appeared in front of the lost traveler. The traveler now feels that he has been saved. The watchman takes him by the hand and shows him the way with a lantern. He knows every path in the forest. He warns the traveler of danger. “Be careful,” says the watchman, “there is an abyss here.” Or: “To the right, there are stones,” etc. And the traveler, following his instructions, safely gets out of the forest and reaches the city... The city is the Kingdom of Heaven, the forest is our earthly life, and the watchman is the old man. Guided by his instructions, you can easily reach the Heavenly Jerusalem. The Holy Church, as a mother, cares about our salvation and gives us all the means for this, therefore, how important, how necessary it is to fulfill all church decrees! The enemy strongly attacks a person, wanting to distract him from fulfilling the commandments. The Church commands us to go to church every Sunday and on holidays. The enemy seduces, suggesting: “Why go so often?” However, he makes a concession, saying: “Well, at least going on a big holiday, that’s possible, but why every Sunday? This is completely unnecessary!” And so it is in everything. It is good if a person does not listen to the enemy’s suggestions. The Holy Church teaches us, first of all, humility. I remember the image of the schema-monk Boris as an example of humility. I was still a novice at that time and often came to him. He loved me, unworthy. He was one of the simple ones, but had a high soul. Father o. Ambrose clothed him in a secret schema. Father Boris was not shy about me, and I saw him in schematic clothes. Often, pointing to the Cherubim and Seraphim depicted on it, he said: “Look, I have an image of the Seraphim on my chest. What is this for? To imitate them. What about me? One scum. The Lord will also severely punish for clothes if someone wears them without paying attention. The Lord will condemn me too, and I have only one excuse, that it was not I myself who asked for the highest rank of angels, but accepted it for obedience to Fr. Ambrose." The death of Fr. Boris. During Lent, he fell ill and was admitted to the monastery hospital, where he suffered greatly, but endured the illness without complaint. I visited him often. But then Holy Week came. Church services, business - there was absolutely no time, and I, saying goodbye to Fr. Boris, told him that I would come only on the second day of Easter. At first he wanted to object, and then, agreeing, he said: “Okay, come look at me.” Easter has arrived. On the second day I went to the hospital and found out that Fr. Boris took communion, received unction and just died. I went to his bed. His face was filled with unearthly grandeur and shone like an Angel. For a long time I was sad about his death and suddenly I saw in a dream that I was in a church, there were no people, and only in the middle of the church was a coffin, and in it Fr. Boris lies alive. - Father Boris, you died, how are you alive? - The Lord lives, my soul lives! - was the answer. I woke up with a joyful feeling. At the very hour of his death, Fr. Borisa, a Shamordian nun of high life, but who was reputed in the monastery for being half-crazed, on her way to Matins, was honored with the following vision: in the direction of Optina, she saw a baby of extraordinary beauty, carried up by the Angels. She reported her vision, but no one paid attention to her words. And on the same day the news of the death of Fr. came to Shamordino. Boris. So, humility was the main feature of the schema-monk Boris, his main virtue, and the Lord exalted him for his humility. All the greatest righteous people considered themselves the first of sinners. Like, for example, John Chrysostom and others. This consciousness was completely sincere in them, since they remembered that the human court is different and the divine court is different. There was one ascetic who reached such a height that the animals obeyed him. For example, he fed leopards from his hands. But this ascetic died with great fear. And it is unknown how the Lord will reward him. We all strive to achieve the Kingdom of Heaven, but we don’t know what it will be like. We know only from the Holy Scriptures that eye has not seen, and ear has not heard, and the heart of man has not sighed, what God has prepared for those who love Him 178 . Heaven is spiritual and pure, but some have seen it in a sensual way. For example, the monk Theodotos, a novice of one monastery, saw Paradise in the form of a magnificent garden. I, a sinner, was honored to see Paradise twice in a dream. Once - in the form of a city of extraordinary beauty, another - in the form of a wondrous church, and in this church the Easter service was held; The words of the canon especially impressed me: “...the speech was perfect” 179. Our Kazan deacon served, which I was very surprised by. I later questioned many, but at first I could not achieve anything, he had many ill-wishers, and only later did I learn that he was a great ascetic of God, distinguished by extraordinary humility. I met him, but did not tell him about my dream, fearing that somehow a proud feeling would arise in his soul - after all, a fall is possible for a righteous man. We had such a case in the Skete: one day Fr. Anatoly, who later became the head of the Skete, walking through the monastery cemetery, suddenly saw two bright rays coming from some cell. He walked in the direction of the light and, looking into the window of the cell where Fr. lived. Anthony 180 saw that this latter was kneeling with his hands raised, and from his hands emanated as if the rays of the sun. Amazed Fr. Anatoly told about this to Fr. Ambrose, and Father strictly forbade him to talk about this about. Anthony. “Maybe he doesn’t know it himself,” the Elder remarked. To the humble... The Lord gives grace 181, says the word of God. One well-known and respected priest told me that one of his parishioners constantly sees the transubstantiation of the Holy Gifts during the Liturgy. This is a simple Cossack of advanced years, leading a clean life and distinguished by extraordinary humility. The first time, standing in the altar, he was honored with this great and terrible vision like this: he was inflating the censer, and suddenly it seemed to him that bright lightning flashed and fell into the bowl. Then a flame rose from the bowl and began to walk across the throne. When the priest took the cup in his hands for communion, he was surrounded by flames on all sides, and then this flame watered all those praying. The Cossack's face changed, seeing that the priest was taking the flame inside himself. After mass, he told the priest everything and from that day on, every time there is a Liturgy, he is honored with this vision. When I was with this priest, this Cossack came - his name was Vasily Stepanovich. Father introduced me to him. He recounted his vision and remarked: “I’m scared. I lead a careless life, the worst of sinners, and the Lord vouchsafes me such a great gift. What answer will I have to give before the Lord? We do not see the transubstantiation of the Holy Gifts sensually, but we firmly believe that it occurs. The Lord grants sensual vision to a few of His chosen ones, but with the eyes of our hearts we must all contemplate this sacrament. The Kingdom of God is within you 182, says the Holy Scripture. It is necessary to carry the Lord in your soul, to feel His most holy presence in your heart, but seeing miracles is not useful for many of us. Let us completely surrender ourselves to His holy will. Amen. “There is a blessed country beyond the distance of bad weather...” 183 When I was driving through Siberia to Mukden, I looked out the window of the carriage and thought that this is how unknown countries begin to the east: China, Korea - countries alien to us, with their own customs, with their own morals. Previously, these countries were stagnant in the darkness of paganism, now they are enlightened by the Light of Christ. In the capital of Japan, Tokyo, where the dragon was once worshiped, stands a magnificent cathedral. And then from these unknown countries the thought rushed further, to a country where the inhabitants of heaven are blissful, where there is neither sadness nor sighing. I want to talk about it, to ascend there with my thoughts from the earth. Earth is a place of exile, exile. For criminal offenses, people are sentenced to hard labor, some for twelve years, some for fifteen, and some forever, to death. So we have sinned before the Lord and are condemned to exile, to hard labor. But the Lord is so infinitely loving that even in this place of exile He left us many beauties, much joy and consolation, which are especially understood by those with so-called artistic sensitivity. These beauties of this world are only a hint of the beauty with which the primordial world, as Adam and Eve saw it, was filled. That beauty was damaged by the sin of the first people. Imagine a wonderful statue of a great master - and suddenly it was hit with a butt - what will be left of it? Shards. We can pick them up, find a neck, part of a face, arms; signs of the beauty of the lines are preserved in these individual fragments, but we can no longer obtain the former harmony, the former integrity, the beauty of the statue that has not yet been destroyed. So the fall of the first people destroyed the beauty of God’s world, and only fragments of it remained for us, by which we can judge how beautiful everything was before, before the Fall. But the time of a global catastrophe will come, the whole world will burn in flames. The earth will light up, the sun, and the moon - everything will burn, everything will disappear, and a new world will arise, much more beautiful than the one that the first people saw. And then eternal joy will come, full of bliss in Christ. It is this blessed life that the human soul on earth now yearns for. There is a legend that before a person is born into the world, his soul sees those heavenly beauties and, having moved into the body of an earthly person, continues to yearn for these beauties. This is how Lermontov explained the incomprehensible melancholy inherent in many people. He says that behind the beauty of the earth, the soul dreamed of a better, more beautiful other world. And this longing “for Bose” is the lot of most people. The so-called unbelievers themselves believe and, not wanting to admit it, yearn for God. Only a few unfortunate souls have become so polluted, they have become so fussy that they have lost the ability to strive for heaven and yearn for it. The rest are looking. And those who seek Christ find Him according to the true gospel word: Seek, and you will find, seek, and it will be opened to you 184. In My Father's house there are many abodes 185. And note that here the Lord speaks not only about heavenly, but also about earthly abodes, and not only about internal, but also about external. The Lord places each soul in such a position, surrounds it with such an environment that is most conducive to its prosperity. This is the outer abode. When the soul is filled with peace, tranquility and joy, this is the inner abode that the Lord prepares for those who love and seek Him. (Brother Gregory comes to say that the all-night vigil must begin in ten minutes. “Well, come in ten minutes,” says Father. Soon the good news begins.) - What is this, good news? Do you know what he represents? The Archangel's voice that will sound at the end of the world. The gospel reminds us of this end; someday we will hear that terrible voice. But now, before the ringing, we were warned about it, and we were already expecting it. But with that voice it will be different: suddenly, without any warning, it will be heard, and behind it - the Last Judgment, which will last not a year, not a month, or even a day, but one moment; one word will decide the fate of all humanity, just the words “come” or “go away” - and it’s all over! Blessed are those who hear “come”: a joyful life in Paradise will begin for them, and this will be forever. Good in Paradise! Dostoevsky, who was here and sat in this chair, spoke of Fr. Macarius 186 that before he did not believe in anything. – What made you turn to faith? - Fr. asked him. Macarius. - Yes, I saw Paradise. Oh, how nice it is there, how bright and joyful! And its inhabitants are so beautiful, so full of love. They greeted me with extraordinary kindness. I cannot forget what I experienced there, and since then I have turned to God. And indeed, he turned sharply to the right, and we believe that Dostoevsky is saved. In the Apocalypse, the Apostle John also depicts Paradise in the form of a magnificent church on twelve foundations 187. One base is a yacht, the other is a sapphire, the third is also a precious stone. There are twelve gates leading to this church, and each gate consists of one solid pearl. This is how John the Theologian paints the city of the Lord, New Jerusalem. But, of course, nothing in this description can be understood sensually, and these twelve gates do not at all resemble the Holy Gates of the Optina Skete or anything else. Those who explain Revelation say that by the twelve gates we must understand the twelve apostles who enlightened the entire universe with the teachings of Christ. In its longing for this city of the Lord, the soul sometimes finds consolation in music. I loved serious music in the world: Beethoven, Schubert, for example. I was leaving a concert one day. An acquaintance meets me and asks: – Where are you coming from and why are you so joyful and solemn? - I was at the concert. What wonderful music! What delight it brings to the soul! - Well, there are other, higher delights, higher than any delights from music; If you went to such and such, he will lead you into another area, into the area of ​​ecstasy of prayer. And he didn't lie. I loved being in church, especially at the all-night vigil, in our Resurrection Cathedral: I loved the twilight, the quiet flickering light of the lamp; It was especially good to pray there. So now you go to the all-night vigil, pray there, try to pray well, try to go in and go deeper into yourself. After all, in each of you there is a world of indescribable beauty, in which lies many pure delights, unspeakable joys. Enter within yourself and they will reveal themselves to you. However, do not expect only delight from prayer, do not be discouraged when you do not feel joy. After all, it happens like this: you stand, stand in a church, and inside it is as if there is not a heart, but a piece of wood, and not even a piece of wood that has been planed. Well, and for this - for a piece of wood, thank God! So it was necessary. After all, another soul, having experienced high delights, can even imagine itself, but such a state of “petrified insensibility” humbles it. And in general, we cannot demand prayerful delight from God. Prayerful work is required of us, and joy is sent from God when it pleases God and is for our benefit. So, let us pray to Him and rely in everything on His holy will. When I was still living in the world, my comrades called me an idealist. Sometimes they would come to invite me somewhere: – We’re having a picnic, the whole company is going beyond the Volga with a samovar and snacks. It will be a lot of fun. - Ten rubles per person. “I take out the money and give it for myself, so as not to receive the reproach that I am avoiding for selfish reasons.” And then on the day of the picnic I fall ill with some “political” illness and stay home. In the evening I go to the banks of the Volga. Moon, music is thundering in the city garden; I walk alone, admiring the beauty of the night - and I feel good! And the next morning the comrades say: “Well, of course,” they wave their hand, “after all, he’s an idealist!” It was this “idealist” who finally brought me here to Skete. Amen. October 22, 1911 Feast of the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God How many miles from St. Petersburg to Kozelsk? Perhaps more than a thousand - and the train travels this distance in one day! Maybe later it will be possible to build railways on water, strengthening the rails on special types of platforms, and then lovers of travel will rush to Africa, America, Australia... Science is moving forward with big steps; If our fathers or grandfathers had been told that people would learn to speak over a great distance using telegraph wire or, for example, talk on the telephone, they would not have believed it and, perhaps, would have considered the person talking about such things to be crazy. Yes, indeed, we have come far ahead in the field of various inventions, but has it become better for people to live? Alas, on the contrary, it got even worse. In 1884–1885 there was a world exhibition in Paris. She was visited by a professor at Oxford University. Returning home, he told the students: “I’ve seen all kinds of machines, machines for everything—I’ve never seen only one, and a simple machine at that, and to my question whether such a thing will be invented, they give a negative answer.” – What kind of car is this, professor? – the students asked in surprise. “A machine that makes happiness,” he answered. Indeed, there is no happiness, because they want to create it without Christ, and they are bitterly mistaken. Here you are in a humble position, but you have faith and love for the Lord, and therefore you have peace of mind. Now many unbelievers are shouting: “We don’t need heaven, we will create happiness on earth.” However, good doctors say that medicine is lagging behind, and diseases are progressing with surprising force. More and more new diseases are appearing, and doctors absolutely do not know how to treat them. For example, a new disease recently appeared: sand forms in the bones, the bone becomes brittle, a hole is made in it, and the sand spills out. Why this happens is unknown, only the patient experiences hellish torment, and medicine is powerless to alleviate his suffering. If a doctor is invited, he cannot say to the patient: “I don’t understand your illness.” Or: “You must die.” No, he begins to heal, as God helps him! No, earthly happiness is fragile, and it is good for a person who does not pursue it, but places all his hope in Christ the Savior. He will not be put to shame. Today I just had a person who was greatly deceived by happiness: this is Evgeniy Nikolaevich Pogozhev 188, writing under the pseudonym “Poselyanin”. Evgeniy Nikolaevich comes from an old noble family, received a good education, but at first he was an unbeliever. Such an incident brought him to the Lord. One day he and his aunt were going to Crimea, and before this trip she wanted to visit Father Fr. Ambrose. “No, auntie, you come in, and I’ll wait for you in Kaluga,” he said decisively. - Yes, why? Let's go together, it will be more fun for me, but you don't have to go to the Elder. Evgeniy Nikolaevich agreed. We've arrived. The aunt asks him if he should go to Fr. at least once. Ambrose, but the nephew decisively announces: - No, don’t ask, oh. I will never go to Ambrose. He tortures me with texts. So I didn’t go. The aunt was there and told about him. Ambrose. “He should come to me,” said Father, “tell him that sinful Ambrose asks him to come to him for six, ten minutes.” He went and left Fr. Ambrose a different person. From then on, he began to visit Optina and asked to join the monastery, but Father objected: – No, first graduate from the university, and then I’ll tell you what to do. After graduating from the university, Evgeniy Nikolaevich came to Fr. Ambrose and asked what he should do now. “And now,” said Father, “write in defense of the faith.” Churches and nations. Pogozhev is an artist at heart, and this is reflected in his works. Several years have passed, oh. Ambrose died, and Evgeny Nikolaevich became an orphan. He came out of habit to Optina, but did not turn to any of the elders, since, according to him, no one could replace Father Fr. Ambrose. There are many oarsmen, and good oarsmen, but there is no helmsman. True, there was a helmsman who was waiting for him to join him, and, probably, a conversation with him would have brought great benefit to Evgeny Nikolaevich - this is the late father Fr. Anatoly 189, - the great elder and successor of Fr. Ambrose, but Pogozhev did not want to contact him. One day he came to see me, I was still a novice then. We talked to him. “You are an idealist, Evgeniy Nikolaevich,” I told him, “there is no place for you in the world, go to a monastery, it doesn’t matter which one, but it would be better to go to ours, where the covenants of the elders are kept.” You would spend five years as a novice, ten years as a monk, five as a hierodeacon... “Then you would be an old man, like Fr. Ambrose. You are now an external artist, and then you will become an internal one. Remember the words of Pushkin: Not for everyday worries, Not for gain, not for battle. We are born to be inspired. For sweet sounds and prayers 190. – Although Pushkin said this about poets, these words apply more to monks. Enter a monastery and you will find peace and joy of soul. “And you can be useful in the world,” he answered. – Yes, of course, you can, but there are many temptations in the world. Do you know the story of the Indian prince Joasaph 191? King Abner, his father, built a magnificent castle for his son and wanted his son to live in luxury and bliss, a carefree, cheerful life. But Elder Varlaam turned the young man to Christ, and he completely changed. The father, wanting to return his son to paganism, brought him the beautiful Royale, whom he wanted to marry, but Joasaph was not seduced by the beauty of the bride, rejected all the pleasures of the world and inherited the Kingdom of Heaven. No matter how Royale seduces you in the palace. I don’t know why I told him this, but a few years later I found out that Evgeniy Nikolaevich married the daughter of a famous dignitary, and Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich arranged a wedding for them in the palace. The bride's choice was unsuccessful: six months later they separated, and the divorce will soon end. She was a practical woman and did not understand him at all. They soon hated each other. I haven’t seen Evgeniy Nikolaevich for twenty years; today he came to see me. I tell him: “When the divorce is over, enter the monastery, I will give you a cell, and your soul will calm down after all the troubles of life.” “It’s never too late to come to Christ, Evgeniy Nikolaevich, remember the robber - it seems that he only had a few minutes left to live, and he cried out: Remember me.” Lord, when you come into Your Kingdom, you will be saved! Thought about it. I don’t know what he’ll decide to do, but I feel sorry for him. Rely in everything on the will of God; whoever thirsts for salvation cries out to Christ: “Save me. Lord, as You Yourself know,” the Lord will save him. I'll tell you a page from my life. I always had a desire for salvation, but the people around me were indifferent to faith, there was no one to find support in. Meanwhile, my thought told me that I couldn’t live like that. I didn't know what to decide. One monk I knew consoled me: “Surrender to the will of God; When you pray in the morning and in the evening, always say: “In your destinies, save me. Lord,” and he will save.” So I prayed. I always went to the all-night vigil at St. John the Baptist at the monastery and prayed. At mass I often visited the Transfiguration Cathedral and there, at the shrine of St. Barsanuphius, I prayed: “Holy Father Barsanuphius, help me!” I didn't know what to choose. I was afraid to go to the monastery: there are bows and fasts - radishes, kvass, and I am spoiled; then everyone will be in charge, but I’m used to some kind of power, I won’t be able to stand it. But the Lord arranged everything, and now I, although unworthy, am still a monk. Seemingly by accident, but of course by the Providence of God, I learned about Optina Pustyn and about Elder Ambrose, took a leave of absence for 28 days and came to him to decide the question of how I should live. Father Ambrose said: “We need to go to the monastery, but not now, but in two years,” and he gave me some kind of obedience, and two years later I entered the monastery of Optina Pustyn. So the Lord will help you on your life path. Pray to the Mother of God. She will intercede for you in this life, and after death she will help you go through the ordeal and reach the Kingdom of Heaven. Amen. Today many of you have received Holy Communion and received Christ Himself, this Heavenly Guest. This is a great gift from God. But having accepted Christ, you need to try and keep Him within yourself. And it often happens that He will come and go, come again and leave again. However, when He leaves, a trace of His presence still remains, and therefore it is so important for us sinners to receive communion more often, so that this Divine Guest may visit us more often. In the prayer before Holy Communion it is said: “.. let me not withdraw from Thy communion in the depths of Thy communion, from the mental wolf I will be hunted down.” The first Christians took communion every day, but they led a life equal to the angels, so that every moment they were ready to appear before the face of God. Then the religious flame began to cool down, and they began to receive communion once a week, once a month, and finally once a year, and some even receive communion once every two years. Of course, it is certainly important and saving to receive communion, but there may be another danger here. If you are waiting for Christ to come to you, then you need to tidy up your inner church, and without this, communion is useless. Therefore, the Holy Fathers say that it is better to take communion less often, but to prepare more carefully for this great Sacrament. Our elders gathered to decide how many times the monks should receive communion, and it was decided that five times a year would be enough: during all four fasts, and twice during Lent, then it is allowed, if desired, to receive communion on the day of an Angel or birth, then for special reasons, in case of departure, etc., but still no more than six or seven times a year, and that’s enough. Monks, in fact, and laymen, but especially monks, need to try to keep Christ within themselves longer, until He becomes a Master of the House from a Guest, like among holy people. When I was in Manchuria 192, one day a man came to me for confession who had not been to confession or Holy Communion for almost 30 years. What sins did his enemy involve him in! Now he is saved, but having moved away from Christ, it is easy to perish. Once, it was in St. Petersburg, one priest from the church and St. Sergius told me that on Liteinaya Street: “They call me in the evening to admonish the patient with the Holy Mysteries. I come and ask where the patient is. An elderly man, seemingly completely healthy, comes out to me and says that he invited me for himself. “It is impossible to blaspheme this great Sacrament,” I answer, “I was asked to advise a sick person, but you are completely healthy.” “I haven’t been to confession or communion for 20 years,” he answered, “suddenly some voice authoritatively tells me: “You’re going to die today,” that’s why I bothered you.” - If so, then we will confess. Confession begins, and what a confession it was! His soul was, like leprosy, covered with all kinds of sins. Finally, I put on the stole and read the prayer of permission. - So, all sins are forgiven, and I can take communion? – he asked. - You are forgiven, and I will now give you communion. We have prepared everything, I read prayers and want to give him communion, but his teeth are clenching, and, despite all his efforts, he cannot unclench them. Then he goes to his office, takes pliers and wants to open his mouth with them, but he cannot. So he died without receiving the Holy Mysteries. His sins have been forgiven, but why the Lord did not grant him communion is the inscrutable mystery of God.” And accepting the Holy Mysteries is a great thing. If one of the communicants died before 24 hours after communion, his soul would go to Paradise. Demons cannot approach such a soul, scorched by the radiance of the Body and Blood of Christ. What is required to prepare for this great Sacrament? Firstly, the consciousness of one’s sinfulness; secondly, realizing one’s own powerlessness in the matter of salvation, there is firm hope in God’s mercy. When we ourselves, through our own efforts, try to improve, then everything fails, everything comes out as a blot, and only the Lord alone is able to save us and revive us to a better life. “Lord, help me, my only hope is in You!” - let us cry to the Lord, and the Lord will not despise the soul turning to Him. Our great writer Gogol, who often visited Optina and was reborn under the influence of a conversation with Fr. Macarius, says in his essay “Notes of a Madman”: “It’s still a long time before the resurrection.” Yes, the sinful soul is still far from resurrection, but if it longs for this resurrection, then sooner or later it will come, and the soul, having risen for a new life here, will then and there reach the bright heavenly abodes. But there is a “resurrection of the belly” and a “resurrection of judgment.” You can also be resurrected on the “Resurrection of Judgment,” just as people who work for sin are resurrected, that is, they begin to sin even more, seducing others into sin. The fate of sinners is terrible, but only the unrepentant; if a person repents of his sins, then the Lord forgives him out of His infinite mercy. We who believe in Christ never need to become discouraged, much less despair. Let the unbelievers despair, for life without Christ is truly dark and sad. One of my spiritual daughters, who leads a very active life, goes on holiday abroad every summer: to Italy, Switzerland, Germany. One day she was driving through southern Bavaria. In the past, people in the West, to express their religious feelings, placed stone Crucifixes along the roads and crossroads, many of which have survived to this day. There are also many of them in Bavaria. Driving past such a Crucifix, she crossed herself. The German sitting next to her smiled and said: “Yes,” she answered, “I am Russian and Orthodox.” “I heard that in Russia they still believe in God,” the German continued, “but here no one believes these fables for a long time.” How is it that you, apparently an intelligent and educated person, suddenly believe? “Yes, I believe in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,” she answered, “education does not at all contradict religion.” She is a very smart person, and she began to prove to him theologically the necessity and truth of religion. He listened to her with attention. “But we live without religion,” the German noted, “here we have education, industry, and trade—everything is flourishing.” “But I think,” she objected, “that you are only consoling yourself, while every unbeliever experiences complete darkness and despair at times.” So they rushed over Berlin - there is also an elevated railway there, strengthened on high pillars. Platforms with rails were built, and then, at times, stations, as if on the tops of huge bell towers. At the stations there are machines that take passengers down to the ground. Here they said goodbye, and the German left, thoughtful and saying goodbye: – Your words make me think. In our country, such questions have long been archived, but you made me think. And you too, children, when the need arises, stand up to defend your faith and Christ. And perhaps your simple word will make no less an impression than theological evidence. But don’t volunteer for such arguments yourself. I am sometimes asked: – What should I do? I’m visiting, and at the table blasphemous conversations about religious subjects begin. Some owners are silent, others agree, or even begin to blaspheme themselves. What should I do? – But how can you remain silent when your whole soul is on fire? - Well, if they don’t ask, then keep quiet. Another thing is, if they ask, then don’t hide your faith: “No,” answer, “I don’t agree with you.” Such a statement will splash them like a tub of cold water, but it will also make them think, perhaps, in their souls. A doctor I knew who had lost his faith once said: - How to believe when no one believes these days, and if anyone believes, they must remain silent, otherwise they will laugh. – Yes, indeed, carnal people laugh at the followers of Christ, while others, fearing ridicule, are cowardly silent and do not defend their faith. But Christ, looking precisely at our age, these are the terrible words he utters in His Holy Gospel: Whosoever shall be ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, and the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels 193 . Have you read the Gospel? – I didn’t read it in full, but at the gymnasium I studied the catechism, in which there were texts from the Gospel, and I don’t remember this. I opened the Gospel and showed it to him. – What will happen to those who are ashamed of Christ? – Read further: And these go into eternal torment, but the righteous into eternal life 194 . Eternal torment - what a terrible state! And this will certainly be fulfilled over sinners. Do not be ashamed, children, to confess Christ, so that He will not be ashamed of you. We are going through a terrible time. Before, they openly persecuted Christ. They say, for example, to a Christian: “If you don’t give up your beliefs, we’ll put hot boots on you.” - No, I won’t refuse, bring them. And he puts them on and endures torture for the sake of Christ. True, today they don’t put hot shoes on our feet, they don’t put us naked or in our shirts on hot iron beds, but now the persecution is of a different kind. Those who confess Christ are considered backward people, they are showered with ridicule, which has a strong effect on pride, but they must endure all this in order to remain faithful to Christ. Such attacks on faith will then turn into open persecution. Not so long ago, Russia was threatened with destruction 195. The rebels wanted to take Moscow, and disassembled guillotines were already brought in for the execution of all those who stand for autocracy and not for the republic. But the Lord saved the king and our fatherland from terrible destruction, and we sat here and knew nothing. The telegraph was interrupted and the railroads went on strike. We only prayed to the Lord for the salvation of Rus', not knowing the horrors that were happening. The Lord also spared us sinners for the holy prayers of all His departed and living saints, since He is infinite goodness and always heeds the prayers of His saints. Saint Barsanuphius the Great, a contemporary of Abba Dorotheos, said that back in the 6th century the Lord appointed the Last Judgment, but three stood up to pray: one in Corinth (St. Elijah), another in Rome (St. John) and someone in Jerusalem (out of his great humility, St. Barsanuphius hid his name) - and the Lord spared the world 196. Just at this time, Mohammed appeared, seducing many into his false teaching. S.A. Nilus wrote a book about the end of the world 197. She walks very quickly. The entire edition has already been sold out, and they are starting a new one. The publication of this book was entrusted to two merchants. One of them has enormous wealth - he supplies greens not only in Russia, but also abroad. I recently had them. “Well,” I ask, “how is the book going?” – The book is going well, but reading it makes us completely despondent. “How,” I say, “do you, believers, suddenly become discouraged?” Let the unbelievers be discouraged, but you have no way there. - How can you not be discouraged? Father: if it’s lately, then you don’t want to trade and start anything - it’s all over anyway. - What’s the matter with you! Well, even if there were death, do you think that if a student has prepared well, should he be afraid of the exam? – What should he be afraid of if he knows the subject well? - Well, then you have nothing to fear from the Last Judgment. After all, you believe in God? – And love Him, and He is dearer to you than all of them? - So don’t be afraid. The Lord will not reject you. And no one knows about the time of the coming of the Lord, neither the Angels of God, nor the Son, only the Father 198. Today is the feast of the Entry into the Church of the Blessed Virgin Mary. In the person of the Mother of God, all humanity entered the church. And we are led into the church, since we are baptized in the name of Christ, but this is not enough: we must remain in the church, that is, strive according to our strength to fulfill the commandments of Christ. But the commandments of the Lord are not difficult. The Orthodox Church is not our stepmother, but a kind and loving mother. She instructs us, for example, to observe moderate fasting, and it does not harm our health at all, but, on the contrary, preserves it. And good doctors, even unbelievers, now claim that constantly eating meat is harmful: plant foods are necessary from time to time; that is, in other words, they prescribe a fast. Now in Moscow and other big cities vegetarian canteens are being opened to give the stomach a break from meat. On the contrary, due to the constant consumption of meat food, all sorts of diseases occur. Two spouses from a merchant family, leading a pious life, came to see me. He is a healthy man, but his wife was constantly ill and never kept fasts. I tell her: – Start fasting, and everything will pass. - She answers: – What if I die from fasting? It’s scary to do such an experiment. “You won’t die,” I answer, “but you will get better.” And indeed. The Lord helped her. She began to observe the fasts established by the Church, and is now completely healthy, as they say - “blood and milk.” We also need to attend church - and again, the Lord does not require anything impossible from us. For example, if a person is sick, then while praying at home, he may not go to church, and home prayer will be counted against him for church prayer. One nun wrote to Father Fr. Anatoly: “I’m sick and have to lie in bed. There, in the church, they sing: “Praise the name of the Lord...”, but I, chained to the bed, cannot take part in the church prayer.” Father Anatoly replied: “And you can be at the all-night vigil.” He writes to him again: “Father, you don’t understand me, my illness does not allow me to leave my bed.” “No,” the Elder answered her, “and you can be at the All-Night Vigil; say the Jesus Prayer using the rosary: ​​you will wrap the rosary 30 times, that is, you will say three thousand prayers, - and this will replace the All-Night Vigil, even more, since illness, although endured with sorrow, but resignedly, with the consciousness that it was sent for sins, has great cleansing power.” This may be the case. Suppose some girl on duty cannot go to church. Even if she is at home, they can send for her any minute, and if she doesn’t show up, she may lose her place. Therefore, she cannot go to church. But if she begins to say the Jesus Prayer or some other prayer at home, then the Lord will accept this instead of the church prayer. Sometimes temptations happen to us in church. For example, one of my spiritual daughters repented to me: “So,” she says, “I’ll come to church and pray: “Lord, help me to pray to You” (yes, and I need to ask God for this), and at first I’ll stand attentively, and as soon as they sing “Cherubic,” I’ll go order lunch. - Of course, not sensually, but mentally, what can you do with such a temptation? We must try to learn to fulfill the commandments of Christ, so as not to renounce Him during persecution. The time of the Antichrist will be terrible. First, they will refuse a place to all those who do not want to sign a renunciation of the faith of Christ and recognize another Christ. The temptation will be great for one who lives solely by service, because he will be thrown out onto the street, and his wife and children are still studying; if they renounce, they will leave them in their former places. Meanwhile, whoever denies Christ God will also be denied by Him. Then the persecution will increase even more and begin to torment the confessors of Christ. However, there is no need to be afraid of the coming of this time, we only need to be afraid of breaking the commandments of the Lord, and the Lord will save us by His ineffable mercy. Amen. With a lot of things to do, I don’t have to prepare for conversations, and therefore there is no strict sequence in them, and I remind myself of that beggar about whom Polonsky writes: I knew a beggar: like a shadow, From morning to night, all day long But everything he collected per day To the sick, the crippled and the blind - As poor as himself. The old man is already in his declining years. And what the Lord will send him. With such beggars as myself 199. Indeed, whatever the Lord inspires in me, that’s what I’m talking to you about, my children. We live in difficult times. Monasticism is not distinguished by its former severity, we are weak and infirm, and sometimes we have to encourage others. So I am in the same state, weak and infirm, I myself require help and consolation, but due to the duty of my rank I have to console those who turn to me. People come to Optina from a world that no longer groans as before, but roars; they come looking for consolation and reassurance. They want to pray, to be in this peaceful environment, and then maybe the priest will say something beneficial - listen to him. And with the help of God, by their faith, they receive what they are looking for and leave peaceful. Today many voices are heard against monasticism. The people of this world, under the influence of the spirit of evil, would like to completely wipe out the monasteries from the face of the earth, but they continue to exist under the cover of God’s grace. The monastic path is difficult, but it brings with it such high joys that worldly people have no idea about and for the sake of which one can forget all the sorrows and cramped conditions of monastic life. The Lord said: For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light 200. The examples of the holy martyrs prove to us that it is possible to combine two apparently opposite states: to suffer and at the same time to be blissful. So they seize the confessors of Christ and demand that they renounce the Lord. They respond with a decisive refusal, and the pagans subject them to severe torments, such as human cruelty, or, better said, diabolical cruelty, could only invent. But amid the unspeakably severe torment, the passion-bearers also experience unspeakable bliss, which often increased with the increase in torment. Why is this? Because the Savior Himself was with the sufferers and consoled them. So the monks, renouncing all the consolations of this world, are comforted in Christ and gain peace of mind when, as Lermontov put it, “they believe and cry, and so easily, easily...”. By the way, many have wondered - what prayer is the poet talking about here? – Is there sadness in my heart: It’s like a burden will roll off your soul. And so easy, easy... 201 Some suggest that Lermontov is talking about the Jesus Prayer here. They think that he knew this prayer and with his poetic sensitive soul felt its power and greatness, perhaps he began to go through it, but Satan took this prayer from him, and then the poet fell away from God and died irrevocably. It has been noticed that the enemy most attacks those people who pray in the name of Jesus. The Holy Fathers explain this by saying that the Jesus Prayer has great power, capable of leading a person into Paradise. Of course, if someone goes through this prayer and leads a lawless life, then it will not save him, but if he leads his life at least somewhat carefully, then, going through the Jesus Prayer, he will feel in his heart love, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. But in order to undergo this prayer with benefit, it is necessary to have a leader, without him it is easy to fall into the snare of the enemy, who arms himself with a whole cloud of thoughts against a person for this. He attacks both the right side and the left side. Either he tries to bring a person into despondency, instilling the idea that it is impossible to be saved, he begins to reveal his sins to him in all their ugliness, wanting to completely confuse the soul. “Is it really possible for you, a sinner, to follow the narrow path, it is extremely inconvenient, and by being on it, you will get nothing but suffering. Yes, finally, you will have time to repent; enjoy life, go back to the comfortable path: you see, everyone follows it, why do you need to stand out?” But if a person does not listen to the enemy’s advice, then the enemy begins to attack from the right: “That’s how good you are, far from being like others, they are lost sinners, and you are saved, everything is fine with you, you are worthy of divine visions and revelations for your holy life.” Woe to the man who believes the enemy, but sometimes it is very difficult to recognize his machinations, and hence how important it is, how necessary it is to have a spiritual leader. We have preserved an ancient custom in the Skete: every day in the evening to come to the elder for a blessing and revelation of thoughts. Unfortunately, this holy custom has been abandoned in almost all other monasteries. Meanwhile, the enemy will weave so much in a day that it is difficult for the monk to untangle, but he will come to his Abba, tell him everything, he will instruct him, console him, and the enemy’s nets will be torn apart easier than a cobweb. The devil not only trembles at the person who goes to the elder to reveal his thoughts, but also flees even from his shadow. There is a wonderful book by Abba Dorotheus, which explains how important spiritual nourishment is in the matter of salvation. He who consults the elder about everything is easily saved; It’s just a pity that nowadays people seem to have completely forgotten this, especially in the world. There, even the performance of any religious rituals, for example, going to church, observing fasts, is considered the activity of only women, and even more simple than intelligent ones. But science does not at all contradict religion. I knew a professor at Kazan University, astronomer Dubyago, who, despite his extensive education, was a deeply religious person. Every day he went to church for early mass, then went to a restaurant to drink tea, and then went to lectures. He was a zealous defender of Orthodoxy, sincerely convinced of its truth. All great scientists were believers. It is known about the famous Newton that he took off his hat when he pronounced the name of God. What do we see now? A huge number of Orthodox people are indifferent to religion, and all kinds of sects: Pashkovites, Baptists, etc. openly proclaim their false teachings and attract the foolish to themselves, tearing them out of the fence of the Church of Christ. But there are even more dangerous enemies. Open atheists and sectarians, at least, do not disguise themselves, and everyone knows with whom they are dealing. Much more dangerous are false teachers hiding behind the guise of Orthodoxy. Today a professor from the Theological Academy visited me for the second time. He arrived for the first time about two weeks ago at a non-vacation time, which greatly surprised me: “I’m coming to you, Father, on an important matter,” he said and then said the following. Several years ago a false teacher appeared in St. Petersburg under the name of some “brother Ivan”; he preaches openly, and every year the circle of his listeners increases. Not only ordinary people, but also many intelligent people come to him. He often talks in the Mikhailovsky Arena, which can accommodate more than one thousand listeners. This brother Ivan calls himself Orthodox, but his teaching is far from Orthodoxy. By the way, he arms people against legitimate authority, calling, for example, one bishop a fiend of hell, a servant of the Antichrist. If this bishop were deprived of his dignity by the Council of Saints, then he could be called the son of the Antichrist, but while he has the dignity, the grace of the Holy Spirit rests on him, for the sake of which we are obliged to honor him. Even if a bishop led a vicious life, then even then the grace of God pours out through him onto the believers. Does everyone know the lightning rod? Well, what's the use of a metal pole? Meanwhile, it protects the building from destruction, since it is a conductor of electricity, which goes into the ground through it. Likewise, every bishop is a conductor of Divine grace. All these self-proclaimed teachers are like this: they will begin as if in the Orthodox way, and then they will introduce a word that is completely contrary to the teachings of Christ. But what is saddest of all is that our famous missionary, champion of Orthodoxy, Archimandrite Arseny 202 stands on the side of this false teacher. - What do you say to this, Father? – the professor asked me. – How do you feel about this? I came to be blessed by you to go to Crimea, where Archimandrite Arseny now lives, being treated for an illness with which he has been suffering for the fifth month; What should I tell him from you? I knelt in front of the image of the Savior Not Made by Hands with the words: “Save, Lord, and have mercy on Your servant the Holy Archimandrite Arseny, and in the image of your destinies, enlighten him and convert him from error.” Then, turning to the professor, he said: - Tell me that the sinful Barsanuphius knelt down, praying to God to turn him from error. - What will happen? Do you remember that when Bogdan Khmelnitsky proposed to the assembled Cossacks at the meeting that they should transfer their citizenship to Moscow, opinions differed. Some agreed, others contradicted: “What will happen to Little Russia then? She will completely lose her independence! Poland is weaker than Moscow, then religion separates us from it, but we will completely merge with Moscow.” To this Bogdan Khmelnytsky replied: “What will happen will be, and what will be will be what God gives.” His words were decisive, and Little Russia joined Moscow. I can now say the words of Khmelnitsky: “What will be will be, and what will be will be what God will give.” We will pray for Archimandrite Arseny. - Then bless, Father. And the professor went to Crimea. Today he returns joyful. – Have you visited the archimandrite? - I ask. - Yes, everything worked out very well. Archimandrite Arseny was amazed by your words and became thoughtful. There was silence for a long time. Finally, he said: “Father Barsanuphius is right, I was wrong.” - “So you, Your Reverence, renounce the heretic?” - “I renounce.” - “And can I write to the Synod?” - “Write.” So, with his permission, I sent a report to the Synod along with the renunciation of Archimandrite Arseny; On Christmas Eve I handed it over to the post office with my own hands and I have a receipt. God bless! Now, at least, people will know who they are dealing with: their “brother Ivanushka” is not an Orthodox man, but a heretic who must beware. The Holy Church says: The heretic, after the first and second admonition, turn away 203. But how to treat heretics? With love, praying to God for them, but you should not have contact with them, so as not to become infected from them. I remember one incident. Not so long ago, along the inscrutable paths of God, I ended up in Manchuria as a confessor at the Tambov Red Cross detachment 204. Every day many wounded were brought in, and I, as the Lord, helped, consoled, and united the dying with Christ through the Communion of the Holy Mysteries. It often happened: you go to some patient - whose stomach is pierced and pieces of intestines are torn out, whose arm or leg is crushed - you approach him, and he suffers not so much from pain as from memories of his own family. He has a wife and little children who are looking for the return of their uncle, and his uncle lies in the hospital with an incurable wound. You have to have a heart of stone to pass by such a sufferer. One day I came to the hospital and saw that a new carriage had arrived with 250 wounded; They lie together, in rows, only one bed stands far from the others, and a sick man lies on it and groans heavily. I ask my little sister: “He’s incurable, he’ll probably die by morning.” - Oh, Lord, we need to commune him, prepare everything, I’ll come with the Gifts now. At this time the doctor ran up to me and said: – Don’t go near this patient, you can’t give him communion! - How can you not? What about the soul? We need to console her! - He is sick with a terribly contagious disease - the Japanese plague. If you approach him, you will certainly become infected. “We take all precautions: we put long gloves soaked in disinfectants on our hands, and we also close our mouths so as not to come into contact with the patient’s breath. We did everything that our conscience told us to do, but you don’t approach him, he is unconscious, and although I am not a priest, I know that such people cannot be confessed and given communion. Indeed, the doctor was right: it is impossible to confess and give communion to an unconscious person. By morning the patient died, they buried him with great precautions. This case is similar to what happens in spiritual life. Heretics are seriously ill people; only people clothed “in full armor,” for example, pastors of the Church, can enter into conversation with them; the grace resting on them will save them from infection, but it is dangerous for ordinary people to approach them - they will easily become infected and may perish forever. At present, all sorts of harmful teachings have spread like a river throughout our fatherland: such godless books as Renan and Nietzsche are published in numerous copies; Orthodox people read them and die. I remember once, when I was still in the world, a priest I knew brought me Farrar’s book “The Life of Jesus Christ,” translated from English by the famous Lopukhin 205 . The publication is excellent: a thick book with many engravings, priced at 8 rubles. “I don’t have time to read now,” said the priest, “I have confessors, but please read it and tell me your opinion about it.” I took the book and looked at the table of contents. I found an article “On Evil Spirits” and began reading. Almost from the very first words I was struck by this explanation, as if the Jews, while in captivity among the pagan peoples (in Babylon), borrowed from them a legend about some evil spirits, and this legend was included in the Old Testament, and then passed into the New. An amazing heresy that overthrows the entire Gospel. I didn’t read any further, but sent the book back, writing my opinion about it. Father returned it to Lopukhin, who was probably embarrassed by this. In subsequent editions of the book this place was released. Farrar made such an impression on me as if one drop of poison were poured into a glass of 25-ruble wine - it seems that the taste would not change, but if a person drinks such wine, he will die. Meanwhile, books like Farrar’s are extremely widespread, but inspired books are abandoned, and almost no one reads them, but they are so important for people. For example, reading the Lives of Saints. When we read them, at least the life of St. Great Martyr Catherine 206, then the Saint begins to pray for such a person before the Throne of God, and the prayer of the saints, of course, is important. Perhaps some soul was on the verge of destruction, but by reading the Lives of the Saints, she attracted their prayer for herself and was saved. Buy these books: they are not so expensive, others will get more, and by reading them we gain enormous benefits. We have a wrong concept about saints. We imagine that they are blissful in heaven at the Throne of God, while we are on earth digging in the dirt - where can they hear us! This is not true: the saints are close to us when we call on them, and are always ready to help us. Some heretics reject the intercession of saints and even the Mother of God - these are pitiful people who are in a helpless state. If not everyone on earth will climb up to the king, but will ask people standing close to him to intercede for themselves, then how much more can a sinner hope that his unworthy prayer will be heard by God? Our sins and iniquities stand like a high stone wall between us and God; saints, especially the Mother of God, have great boldness before God. One church hymn addressed to the Mother of God says: “Let us not perish if we trust in Thee, but let us be delivered from troubles through Thee.” Truly, those who hope in the Mother of God will not be put to shame. She will beg their forgiveness from the Lord, His Son. There was one man who led an ungodly life. Although he often made a promise to refrain from sins, it happened that after the promise he fell even deeper. Despite all his iniquities, he had ardent faith in the intercession of the Mother of God and always prayed to Her with tears. And so, despite his sins, he was saved. Lutherans do not recognize saints, since Luther forbade them to do so, and through this they are deprived of their protection. I knew many Lutherans with beautiful souls, generous, selfless, but whether they were saved, God knows, since they were outside the protection of the Queen of Heaven. But how did Luther get to this point? He, who had previously been a Catholic monk, rebelled against the abuse of the popes, against indulgences, infallibility, etc. All this is good, but, pointing out the errors of the Catholic Church, he began to rebuild everything in his own way and fell into even greater sins. Catholics venerate the saints, and although they have many new supposed saints of God, whom our Church does not recognize, they still resort to the protection of the Mother of God, and Luther deprived part of humanity of this protection. The enemy's greatest efforts are to render men helpless, to draw them away from heavenly guidance, and to force them to resort to his evil power for eternal destruction. For a long time, people have been turning to grandmothers to cure illnesses, who conjure all sorts of ailments. It happens sometimes, a person declares that not a single doctor could help, but his grandmother cured him. How? And she read a prayer, some spells, and the illness passed. But, looking closely at this woman, it is easy to notice that she is far from religious and goes to church once a year, and then only to avoid drawing attention to herself. Sometimes he directly blasphemes, and his life is far from perfect. But who then helps cure diseases? Obviously - demons. Although she makes a prayer, it is only for show; the enemy is not at all afraid of such a prayer: he himself, tempting God, cited words from the Holy Scriptures: He commanded You with His Angel, to preserve You in all Your ways. They will take You up in their arms, but not when you dash Your foot against a stone... The Word of God says about such external prayer: And let his prayer become sin 207 . In the book of Acts of the Saints, the apostle has such a story. One day, some Jewish exorcists wanted to cast out evil spirits, just as St. Apostle Paul, and they said to the demoniac: “We adjure you by Jesus, whom Paul preaches.” But the evil spirit answered: “I know Jesus, and I know Paul, but who are you?” - and, rushing, beat them so that they barely escaped 208. So calling on the name of God did not help them and did not frighten the enemy. In 1881, or even earlier, when spiritualism was still just raising its head, I had to read the following. In Paris, for the first time, high-ranking officials began to organize spiritualistic seances. They were attended by many of the Russian aristocracy. To prove that the forces operating here are not contrary to the will of God, they practiced spiritualism in the Notre Dame de Paris church. Blank paper was placed on the throne with a pencil on it. Suddenly there was a terrible crash in the main dome, the pencil rose by itself and began to write. When they looked, it turned out that it was written: “I believe in Christ,” but “he who came in the flesh” was not added. The evil spirit especially strives to distract people from God, but he does this in an amazingly cunning way. If he had immediately written anything against the Lord, they would have stopped communicating with him, but here everyone was involved in deception, and from Paris spiritualism began to spread everywhere; And so we have a huge number of his followers in Russia. Having read about this, as it was written, “new discovery,” I marveled at the frivolity of people who so easily fall under the power of the enemy, who directs all his evil activities to destroy a person. He fights with people both in dreams and in reality; Thus, it confuses the soul with various dreams. For example, in a dream he shows the torments of hell, wanting to instill fear and despondency, or, on the contrary, he imagines that a person is blissful in Paradise with the Angels and all the saints, trying to arouse spiritual pride in him. I am generally against belief in dreams, because by believing dreams, it is easy to fall into the machinations of the enemy, but there are also dreams that are blessed. They differ from ordinary dreams in that they are never forgotten, but, like cast from steel, stand before a person. When I was still in the world, I knew a monk from the Raifa desert, who told me three wonderful dreams that he saw at different times and came true with amazing accuracy. “Once,” he said, “when I was still a layman, a merchant, I was riding through the forest and was caught in a thunderstorm. The sky was completely covered with leaden clouds, terrifying peals of thunder were heard, and torrential rain had to be expected every minute. (I didn’t think then that this thunderstorm would have significance for the rest of my life.) My horse was shaking with fear. I unharnessed it, tied it to a tree, threw some fresh grass, and, to shelter from the rain, I hid under the overturned cart. When the thunderstorm passed and the rain stopped, I got out of my shelter, wanted to harness my horse and hit the road, but, I don’t know why, I suddenly felt tired and wanted to rest some more. I lay down in my old place and fell asleep instantly. In a dream I see a vast field, on it rises a cone-shaped mountain, and on its top stand three elders; from them a large scroll descends from the mountain, on which it is written: “In such and such a year and month he was ordained a hierodeacon.” I woke up and wondered what this dream could mean? Arriving home, he told his wife, she laughed: “At least he could become a deacon, or even a hierodeacon, but are you a monk?” The children smile too. Then he told it to his confessor, who thought: “I won’t be able to explain your dream, but I think that it will have meaning for you, it’s good that you wrote it down.” 30 years have passed since then, and a lot of water has passed under the bridge during this time. My life has completely changed. Firstly, I lost my wife, with whom I lived so happily for so many years, and the children were all settled. Wanting to have fun, since I really missed my wife, I went traveling and stopped in Kazan. Once I had a dream that I was in some majestic church of enormous size. Many Belarusians are performing divine services, and suddenly among them is my wife in white priestly vestments. Although in a dream one is usually not surprised by anything, here I was surprised how my wife ended up becoming a priest. Of course, this had a spiritual meaning: she led a holy life, I knew this as a husband. I walked around the entire church and memorized its location. After a while, quite by chance, it occurred to me to visit the Raifa desert. When I arrived there and entered the church, I was amazed that this was the one I had seen in my dream, only in miniature. I approached one monk with a question: - Is there an arch and such-and-such a chapel here? “Yes, there is,” answered the monk, “you’ve probably already been to our church?” “No,” I answered, “I would like to see the abbot.” Having met the abbot, I told him everything, and he advised me to enter the monastery. Somehow I immediately agreed easily. He promised to contribute. “Money is not important, as long as your soul is saved; Of course, I can accept money, the monastery needs it.” So, I soon entered the monastery. When the year and date predicted in the dream arrived, I was indeed ordained a hierodeacon. Of course, the abbot knew about my dream, but I could have died before I saw that day. This means that the dream was truly blessed. Afterwards I was ordained as a hieromonk, and now I again have a wonderful dream. I dreamed that I was in some noisy city and was trying to get away from it. I run through the streets and alleys, and they are chasing me, and I hear shouts: “Hold him, don’t let him go.” I run even faster, but suddenly a huge barricade crosses my path. I am horrified, thinking that I am completely lost, but some unknown, blessed force carries me through the barricade, I run further and see a ship standing by the seashore, ready to sail. As soon as I had time to jump up, the ship weighed anchor and we set sail. Feeling now safe, I went out on deck and saw that the city from which I had fled was completely engulfed in flames and smoke. “What kind of city is this,” I ask the people standing on the deck, “and where are we going?” – “This is a city of passions from which you escaped not by your own strength, but with the help of Divine grace; “We are going to a country where there is no illness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life” 209. We finally arrived, and those on the ship began to go ashore. They were joyfully greeted by people dressed in white robes. I also got out, but they told me to go back to the ship: “Now it’s not your turn yet,” the Belorizians told me, “first the monk John will come to us, then Andrey, then another, and you will be the fourth.” I boarded the ship again and woke up. Soon, monk John fell ill in our monastery and died, then monk Andrei fell mortally ill, and I firmly believe that after his death and another monk, my turn will come.” Perhaps he is still alive, but I left Kazan, entered Optina Pustyn, and never saw him again. You see. The Lord announced through dreams the fate of the monk, but this is an exceptional, rare case. We, sinful people, should not attach importance to dreams, but in everything rely on the will of God, leading us to salvation. Amen. What should I talk to you about? I didn’t prepare at all for a lot of things; whatever the Lord sends, I will tell you for your benefit, as it happened before: at first you don’t know what you will talk about, and then, with God’s help, the conversation begins, grows and covers larger and larger areas, so that you don’t want to end. What are we going to talk about? The main topic of my conversations is always the same - how to get salvation. This is an old topic, but also forever new. How to achieve salvation? The Lord says: “Keep the commandments.” But for a carnal person they seem difficult and inconvenient. However, in order to observe them, you do not need to complete a course in any sciences; you only need to follow the voice of the Orthodox Church. Learning without God is worth nothing, and even talent not aimed at pleasing God has no value. For example, Lermontov was an educated and unusually talented person, but he failed to use his talent as it should: he did not love God, did not follow His teaching, and his soul descended to hell for eternal torment - his talent did not bring him any benefit. And some illiterate old woman lived quietly, did not offend anyone, forgave insults, visited the church of God, before her death she confessed to her father, received Holy Communion - and her soul departed in peace to the Heavenly Abodes. The Lord does not look at education, but at the purity of the soul. Meanwhile, our great poet had an exceptional gift from God, thanks to which he could easily cleanse his heart and even become a saint, but he did not want this and died. Hieromonk Daniel, a world-famous artist Bolotov 210, died not long ago in our Skete. He studied with Repin, and the professors found Bolotov even more talented. Repin gained great fame, he charged ten thousand for portraits, acquired a lot of capital, but Bolotov was not satisfied with worldly life. His lofty soul yearned for the light, for the truth, thirsted for a different, better life; He abandoned everything and came to us in Skete, where he achieved peace of mind. The love of art lived in him and in the monastery: he painted paintings and portraits. Of the latter, the portrait of Fr. Anatolia. This Elder, when he was thinking, had a particularly contemplative expression on his face, and it was this expression that Bolotov caught in his portrait. After his death, some paintings and sketches remained, almost all of which I have already given away. This talent brought this man closer to God. Of the gifted people, comprehensively educated and at the same time deeply and sincerely believing in God and loving Him, our monastic monk Konstantin Zederholm, monastic Father Clement 211, is also remarkable. He graduated from a higher educational institution, was an expert in foreign languages, which was very useful to us, since he translated many patristic books from Greek into Russian, for example, “The Ladder,” etc. Zederholm accepted Orthodoxy and, convinced with all his soul of its truth, persuaded his father to accept it, but he wrote to him in response to his admonitions: “My son, I believe that Orthodoxy is really true, but I'm ashamed to accept it. I am considered a great theologian, I, as a pastor, always stood for Lutheranism, proved its truth - and suddenly I myself will accept Orthodoxy? No, this is impossible" 212. Because of vanity, he did not come over to the side of truth. Father Clement was very sad about this. He himself wrote a lot in defense of Orthodoxy, and in his words one could always hear sincere, ardent conviction. We believe that the Lord laid him to rest in His Kingdom, and he now cries out among the host of saints: “Holy, Holy, Holy!” There are three states of the soul: hot, lukewarm and cold. An ardent person burns with love for God and fulfills His law as the need of his soul. The opposite state is coldness, when religious issues are not dear to a person, he is deeply indifferent to them. He even goes to church once a month, and is in no hurry to fulfill its orders, but it happens that such a person, having heard the call of the Lord, suddenly lights up and follows the path of good with firm feet. A lukewarm person is in the most dangerous state: he often goes to church, fasts, and, perhaps, gives alms, and therefore finds that everything is fine with him, that he is better than many, and this destroys him. The Lord said: Imam, vomit you out of my mouth 213. Save us. God, from such a state! We are all sinners before God, we are all at times cold and indifferent to Him, and yet in order to receive salvation we must follow the Lord. But in order to follow Him, it is necessary to have a leader, since without him you may not know what is pleasing to God and what is not. Some believe that all salvation lies in external deeds, and do not think about the purification of the soul, but this is the most important thing. One, for example, a high-ranking lady 214 condemns and trashes Optina; for what, you ask? “But what,” she says to her friend, “I was in church, and the hieromonk used the word “woman” twice in his sermon, how is this possible? In a monastery? Yes, they should forget this word. Then I visited Fr. Barsanuphius, I also didn’t like it there, it has such luxury! (Do I have luxury?) In a prominent place in the prayer room there is a large picture of an Angel, and next to him, imagine, there is a woman again!” They objected to her: “But in the picture next to the Angel, right, there is a saint depicted?” - “Anyway, it’s not good. Then, the Elder himself is dressed quite decently, I imagined him differently.” It turns out that she wanted to see the Elder in sackcloth, with disheveled hair, and was disappointed. But all our elders dressed neatly and did not wear tattered robes. For example, Father Fr. Ambrose was a great old man, he performed wonderful miracles, he could even resurrect the dead, but he always dressed decently: in the summer - in a completely clean white robe and half-mantle, in the winter - in a black cassock, also decent. After all, it is not clothes that save, but the purity of the soul. And one must skillfully please the Lord, otherwise there will be unreasonable jealousy. To Father Fr. One day a 17-year-old boy came to Ambrose and began to ask to be taken to the Skete. -What are you going to do here? – asked the Elder. -You are still so young. – What do I want to do? But: sleep on nails, impose the strictest fast on yourself. - Give myself over to complete obedience to you, do with me what you want. “You see,” said Father Ambrose, “all the exploits that you have listed have no meaning without love for God, but do you love Him?” - Okay, do you fulfill all His commandments? – That is, maybe not all, but the majority. They began to look through it, and it turned out that he did not fulfill a single commandment properly. “So,” Father concluded, “you will leave external exploits for now.” - And took him to Skete. However, he did not get along at the Skete - a few years later he went to Moscow, where he was made abbot and head of the patriarchal sacristy. He soon got bored here too; began to think about a second transition to Optina, but did not have time to do this, death prevented him. I knew one person who Fr. Ambrose made such a strong impression that, returning from Optina, he wrote 215 poems in his honor: Blessed is he who, having traveled a narrow path, I did not serve perishable idols, In whose pure heart is the King of Heaven Indeed, in the heart of Fr. Ambrose was inhabited by Christ, who never separated from him. Blessed is he who has conquered passions And he was alien to vain aspirations. Who amidst everyday troubles He bore his cross without complaint, And he was a comforter to the mourners, And before the world, lying in evil. Like a slave, he did not bend his knees! These words are quite suitable for Fr. Ambrose, he truly conquered passions and was an uncomplaining crusader to the grave, a comforter and helper to all who needed his help. Who was alien to anger and pride. And eternal life and shrines, Like luminous goodness; Who realized with all his soul The futility and lies of carnal joy, How a wanderer and stranger lived In the midst of a blinding world, And I didn’t taste the fat meat. Yes, pride and malice were alien to the Elder, filled with deep humility and endless love, carnal pleasures were unknown to him, and he could say with the Apostle Paul: The world will be crucified to me, and I will be crucified 216. Blessed is he who from his youth despised This world, both vain and false, Who burned with jealousy for God And he longed for eternal salvation; I knew no malice or doubt, and under the protection of higher powers, And full of bright hopes. Without cowardly hesitation, He entered the monastery as a monk! Father Ambrose left the world early and as a young man entered a monastery, where he lived until his death, always repeating, despite all the sorrows and hardships: “Monasticism is bliss.” Blessed is he who has kept the faith To your high calling! To whom for the feat in retribution The beginning of future creations, Sent the gift of knowledge high Your deep wisdom, Your mysterious miracles! The late Father was distinguished by a high gift of foresight, which amazed everyone who knew him. Even here on earth, he was a heavenly man, but we cannot even imagine what a high reward awaits him beyond the grave: It will not appear that we will be 217. - says the Apostle. Blessed is he who is among troubles and evils Kept the gospel verb; And crucified the flesh with its passions, And overthrew the lawless oppression, Strives to the eternal abode - Where the Savior reigns in glory With the Father and the Spirit, and before Them Fr. has been preparing all his life. Ambrose to Mountainous Jerusalem, to the Kingdom of the Holy Trinity, and we believe that he has now achieved his desired goal and entered a serene haven. There is not a word of exaggeration in the entire poem; truly such was our great Elder. When I arrived in Optina again, I asked Father Ambrose: - Sorry, Father, I wrote you poems and sent them by mail, did you receive them? Father Ambrose, in his humility not wanting to admit that everything there related to him, answered evasively: - What poems? Do you have them with you? “Yes, you don’t have them with you,” the Elder answered meaningfully. At first I did not understand him, and only later did I fully understand the meaning of these words 218. Great was the wisdom of the Elder! He was also distinguished by his extraordinary mercy; the words of Scripture were fulfilled on him: “The hand of the giver will not fail.” In Father’s table there were always various kinds of credit papers, which he, crossing himself, took out for the poor, whatever he came across, seeing in this an indication from God. Despite the fact that he distributed alms with a generous hand, the influx of donations did not diminish. Father Ambrose founded eight monasteries, the last Shamordinsky - also a million-dollar business. One day a poor woman comes to Father: “Darling, help me, my husband died, I’m left alone.” I had a little cow, and it died; I also have five children. “Yes, dear, but she’s all fallen apart, you should give me a C grade, dear.” -Are you telling the truth? - asks the Elder, who, however, by the gift of God himself knew that the peasant woman was telling the truth. - Why would I lie to you, dear, the true truth. The elder, crossing himself, took out a piece of paper, it turned out to be a hundred rubles. - Well, here you go, look, what is she like? “I don’t know, dear, I’ve never seen anything like them.” - This is 100 rubles. You asked for a C grade, but there are a lot of C grades here, go to the treasury, they will change it for you. Wrap it in a scarf, otherwise you’ll lose it. – The peasant woman takes out a dirty rag. - Well, no, you can’t do that. - Father gives her a handkerchief, wraps the money with the words: - Now go, servant of God, in peace. Among the virtues of Father Ambrose, the gift of prayer is remarkable. His prayer had great power, opening Heaven itself. Father loved church services, and not only loved them, but also enjoyed them, as he deeply understood them. Why are so many people bored in church? Because they don’t understand the services. One young lady, who was fond of Shakespeare, once gave it to her maid to read, thinking to please her, but the latter found that Shakespeare was a very boring book, and, after reading a page or two, returned it back to the young lady. Why did such a work of art as Shakespeare arouse boredom in the maid? Because she didn’t understand him, and therefore couldn’t appreciate him. And many people, not understanding the service, mainly the all-night vigil, get bored in church and can’t wait for it to end. To enjoy the service, you need to understand it, and for this it is good to at least read the more difficult to understand, for example, the canon, before the service at home. I knew one high-ranking person who usually gathered his whole family before a church service, read and explained to them the canon, kathismas, those prayers that are sung at the all-night vigil, and everyone who listened to him then stood in the church with great attention, and the service passed unnoticed. Try to delve into the worship of the Orthodox Church, and it will reveal to you a source of such consolation that you will joyfully rush to the church of God. We rejoiced at those who said to me: “Let us go to the house of the Lord,” said David, “then you will say the same thing when you go to church.” Amen. You, my children, have gathered at our holy monastery to celebrate the Nativity of Christ here and rest your soul and body. May the Lord reward you for this! In the past, our pious ancestors loved to visit monasteries, especially on holidays. The Moscow tsars set a high example in this regard. They went on pilgrimages and often celebrated and spent great holidays in holy monasteries, far from the noise and bustle of the world. Many great writers, for example Alexei Tolstoy, retired to the silent monastery 220 to nourish their souls. Congratulations to the communicants on receiving the Holy Mysteries. Receiving the Body and Blood of Christ today, you felt, of course, spiritual joy, each in its own strength - one more, the other less, but you still felt it. Although we sometimes think that even after communion our soul remained completely cold, as if Christ had never come to us, it’s okay, there’s no need to lose heart. The Saints received the Mysteries with ardent love and firm faith. For example, St. Seraphim, always filled with love, on the day of Communion was completely imbued with the flame of love for the Lord, and what he felt when receiving the Body and Blood of Christ is impossible for us sinners to comprehend. But if we apparently and with a cold heart received communion, and for this, glory to You, Lord! By strength we prepared for this great Sacrament, we had a desire to unite with Christ, and to experience spiritual delights - this does not depend on us, but “to whom it was given.” “Lord, I want to be with You, I want to join Your life, but my soul is cold and insensitive; I praise You, Master, for this coldness: it means it’s necessary, it means it’s more beneficial for my soul than spiritual consolations.” The Lord sees you and if he sends tests, it is for your own good. All the participants are written in the book of life, and even if the Lord does not allow you to taste spiritual delights in this life, He will reward you a hundredfold in the future. Anyone who, without preparing, blasphemously approaches Holy Communion, is in great danger and can easily perish forever. I heard about one person - an unbeliever, who once blasphemously accepted the Holy Mysteries and, coming home, laughingly said to his family: “Congratulate me, I ate bread and drank wine.” But his parents, believers, took this seriously and, horrified by his audacity, resolutely said: “Get on your knees and pray to God that He will not punish you.” Their words made a strong impression on him, he was afraid and actually knelt down, and the next morning he was paralyzed. He was ill for a long time, deprived of sleep and peace, but if, exhausted, he fell asleep, he saw terrible visions in his sleep. A whole year passed like this. He recovered as unexpectedly as he had fallen ill. One day, at the request of a patient, he received Holy Communion - and instantly recovered. The disease changed him dramatically: he turned from darkness to Light. Today we touched on a little theology. But in general, in my conversations I try to act not on the mind, but on the heart; The mind is a cold force, and what it perceives is often fragile, but what is accepted in the heart often remains for life. I am reproached that in my conversations I take my listeners into the realm of an unattainable ideal - I internally protest against this. Of course, I do not take everyday subjects as the topic of my conversations: you hear a lot about them in the world - I constantly talk with you about God and eternal salvation, but I talk simply and clearly. I often quote the words of secular writers if they clarify my thought. How important it is for the human soul, at least from time to time, to break away from everyday life and be transported by the soul to another, better world, to lift one’s mind and heart to God - not only saints and righteous people, but also secular writers recognized it. Turgenev, for example, in his work “Rudin” says how a conversation about God and eternity has a strong and beneficial effect on the soul: “Rudin stood at the open window and, inspired by general sympathy, talked about what gives eternal meaning to temporary life. He spoke about God. It seemed that something higher, unexpected for him, was speaking through his lips.” Then, in the same novel, Turgenev brings out another hero, Pokorsky, who has gathered circles of student youth around him. “Poetry and truth,” says Turgenev, “that’s what attracted Pokorsky. He breathed fire and strength into everyone. They gather with him and talk about God, about truth, about the future of humanity. And the night flies as if on wings. Early in the morning they disperse, touched, cheerful, honest, and even the stars seem to have become closer. And these conversations did not pass without a trace even for those whom life later vulgarized. It happened that when former comrades met, it seemed that the person was completely fat, but as soon as you uttered the name of Pokorsky, all the remnants of nobility in him would stir, he would light up all over, as if you had uncorked a forgotten bottle of perfume in a dirty and dark room.” When I was still a novice, I often had conversations with two monks from our Skete. Many years have passed since then. One of the monks is still in the Skete, the other moved to the monastery. They, of course, forgot the conversations themselves, but the general ascetic mood remained. They lead a strict, attentive life. All the best people always strive for God, the Source of truth. And our writers also searched for Him, but not all of them found Him. I have already told you about Gogol, whom the historian Pogodin sent to Optina, where he was reborn spiritually - he found God. Our other great writer, Belinsky, who had a lofty soul, also sought God, but not where he needed it, pride did not allow him to look for Him in the Church, and Belinsky died. In the 60s, around 1866-1867, I read a poem by an American writer entitled “The Song of Hiawatha” 221 in which the poet says that in all times and years man has been man, and even the barbarian has felt the saving hand of God. In general, there is a lot of nonsense in this poem, but there are also true, high thoughts, thoughts about God. Poetry and art take the soul away from everyday trifles and give a person aesthetic pleasure. In the eighteenth century, with the spread of the materialist trend, a view was created on poets and artists, as if they were unnecessary people - they sat and did nothing. Victor Hugo said in defense: “Looking at the sky is already a thing.” But there are external and internal artists. The external artist depicts on canvas what fills his soul, the internal artist creates his very soul, making it truly a work of art based on the beauty of the virtues with which it is decorated. A monk is an internal artist (I am, of course, talking here about a real monk, and not about one who only bears this name. St. John Climacus says: it is easy to make an external monk, but an internal one is extremely difficult. There are many works of art, and of all of them, the first place is occupied by the Psalter. Only many do not understand it and, reading the works of any secular writers, do not read the Psalter at all. Once Gogol, traveling around Italy, met a famous Italian artist. Once, going to him, Gogol found the artist reading the Psalter. – Why do you read the Psalter? - Gogol was surprised. – Do you read secular writers? – Of course, reading such literary artists as Shakespeare, Dante and others always gives me aesthetic pleasure. “You see,” answered the Italian, “you admire secular writers, but the Psalter is the highest work of art that humanity has ever heard.” This is not a work of people, but of the Holy Spirit. It is impossible to understand it completely with our weak minds; it is inaccessible even to the Angels. One can say more: even in the next century, when there will be only two worlds - good and evil spirits, some of the Psalms will be unattainable. It is necessary to read it in Church Slavonic, as it has a stronger effect on the soul. At present, very few people read the Psalter, while others think that only backward, uneducated people can read it. To enjoy the Psalter, you must have a high soul, sensitive to everything beautiful. Our famous artist Ivanov, of whose paintings the painting “The Appearance of Christ to the People” in the Rumyantsev Museum is especially remarkable, always read the Psalter and said that from it he draws strength for artistic creativity. Some psalms are set to music. Serious music, like Mozart, Beethoven and others, has an ennobling effect on the soul, often under its influence you want to cry and pray. When I entered the Skete, Fr. was the elder and abbot. Anatoly. In the world I loved music and played the harmonium myself. One day I had a strong desire to order myself a harmonium. In our monastery they don’t play any instruments at all. I come to Fr. Anatoly and ask for blessings on this. – I really want, Father, to play “Cherubimskaya”, “Canon”, etc. in my free time. “God bless,” Fr. said joyfully. Anatoly. But the next day there was complete disappointment. - Well, can we order a harmonium? - I ask. “There must be a harmonium,” answered Father, then added, “when you have a psalter in your heart, you can always play it.” “Father Ambrose had this psalter and, when he wanted, he could play it. In former times, the psalter was a musical instrument with ten strings, corresponding to the five external and five internal senses. And our heart must be tuned, like a psalter, then it will always glorify God and delight us with this music. – How long does it take to learn to play the harmonium? – asked Fr. Anatoly. – Yes, at different times, depending on age and abilities. Young people learn faster because they have more flexibility in their hands. A capable person will learn faster than a less capable person, so it is difficult to determine the time limit. - Well, you have to study from that psalter all your life. Father Anatoly was right. He knew how to play the psalter, but now I’ve been studying for 20 years, but everything doesn’t go well, it’s a difficult science. Father o. Anatoly deeply understood the psalms and, listening to them, felt spiritual delight. “Kathismas are music,” he said, “when the reading of them begins at the all-night vigil, I cannot stop listening.” Every word is imbued with a deep meaning, and I always feel sorry when the reader closes the book: I would just listen, listen endlessly. “And I get so bored during kathismas,” I objected to him, “I always strive to leave the church and return when they have already finished.” “That’s understandable,” answered Father, “and I did the same before.” My friend and I went to the church at the Academy, although the service there is not the same as in Optina, but still quite long, they read a lot. It used to be that we were sitting at kathismas and felt a push in the side. I already understand the conventional sign, we go out and start walking along the corridors; we walk and walk until they finally say: “Come quickly, now they will sing “Praise the name of the Lord,”” - well, then we rush to church. Otherwise, sometimes you leave church and find yourself at home, drinking tea. But I soon realized that I couldn’t live like that. It is impossible to be saved in the world. - But how, Father, did you tell me that there were many saints in the world? – Yes, but this is an exception. It's difficult there. For example, you’re getting ready for the all-night vigil, and then a friend comes and invites you to visit: “Let’s go, we really invited you, but you can go to the all-night vigil later.” You’ll be tempted, you’ll go, and look – you don’t get to church at all. I realized that it was impossible to live like this, and went to a monastery. Indeed, it is difficult for people who strive to please God to remain in the world: in the monastery they find satisfaction of their spiritual needs. In the monastery they learn how to fight passions, learn to pray, and most importantly, they gradually acquire humility. Without him, all feats have no meaning. Our holy elders did not approve, especially for beginners, of external feats: chains, iron belts, etc. Someone wears chains, but say an offensive word to him, he will answer with interest - where is the humility here! And in order to acquire it, first of all, “patience of those who find it” is advised. This means that you need to patiently endure any unexpected sorrow and accept it as sent from God. One monk asked me: – What is this “patience of those who find it”? “Now you’re going to leave me, and someone will meet you and say: “Why are you hanging around at night to the abbot, right? You’re snooping?” What would you answer him? - Yes, of course, I wouldn’t have let him down; I responded to his insolence with insolence. - Well, that’s not what’s needed. You must bow and pass by. Our great elder Father Fr. Macarius could have been punched in the face and he would not have been offended. This is the depth of humility! But God glorified him. Father Macarius acquired the gift of prayer and could even resurrect the dead, but if he did not do this, it was only out of humility. One day a novice asked Father Macarius why they force them to pray a lot in the monastery? Instead of answering, Father covered his nose and mouth with his hand. He got free with difficulty. - Why are you fighting back? – asked Fr. Macarius. “Can’t you not breathe for a while?” - Father, I almost suffocated! “You see,” Father remarked then, “prayer is the breath of the soul.” You couldn’t help but breathe for a short time, because the body requires it, otherwise it will die, and the soul needs breathing, that is, prayer, otherwise it will die spiritually. The Lord performed great miracles through Father Macarius. One day a lady came to Optina with her student son. This lady was the spiritual daughter of Father Macarius. He comes to him for a blessing and reports his grief: - Father, what should I do with my son? He has become such a blasphemer, he mocks everything holy, it’s just unpleasant, and scary for him. “It’s okay, God willing, he’ll stop from this,” said Father, “I’ll come to your hotel at two o’clock tomorrow, just don’t tell him about it.” The calmed mother returned to the room, and her son the next day before Father’s arrival began to show concern: - You see, the old man is coming. Yes, you are all against me, well, I will come out. “Who’s against you, Vasya,” said the mother, “and you can’t see anyone walking on the street.” Suddenly the son grabbed his hat and rushed headlong out of the room; in the corridor he met Fr. Makariy. - Oh, are you going to chase me?! - he exclaimed with rage and hit Father on the cheek with all his might, so that he could barely stand on his feet. With imperturbable calm and meekness, Fr. Macarius quickly turned his other cheek to him with the words: “Well, now to the other, devil, according to the word of the Savior!” Then the student trembled all over and fell to the floor, emitting foam. Everyone came running from the rooms, the patient was taken out into the courtyard (this happened in the hotel of Father Pachomius). Suddenly a whole dark cloud burst out of his mouth, as if from a samovar pipe; in front of everyone, it rose high and disappeared. Father Macarius took the patient’s hand, he stood up and looked in surprise at the gathered people. Apparently, he did not remember anything that happened to him. Since then, he became a religious person, spoke with Father, received Holy Communion of his own free will, but before for many years he had never even agreed to enter church. And mother and son, happy, left the holy Optina monastery. When they later asked about. Macarius about this demoniac, he replied: “This young man was attacked by a blasphemous spirit, but now by the grace of God he has got rid of it; do not think that the sinful Macarius expelled the evil spirit, no, the Lord did this through His ineffable goodness through me, the unworthy.” Yes, he could. Macarius playing the psalter. And Father Fr. Ambrose played it. This music of the soul is acquired by the Jesus Prayer. I advised and advise you all to read the book “On the Caucasus Mountains,” which talks specifically about this prayer. It was written about. Hilarion, a hermit and disciple of the great elder Disiderius, who retired to the mountains, climbed to their peaks and, indeed, renounced everything earthly. After the death of Fr. Dissideria o. Hilarion wrote down what he heard from him about the Jesus Prayer, and a whole book was compiled. Fr. himself Hilarion runs around people, no one can see him, but his disciple Fr. Benedict was with me, talked with me and offered me this book. The lowest level of the Jesus Prayer is its simple pronunciation, the highest is creative prayer, capable of moving mountains. Of course, there is a huge difference between the lowest and highest levels. The saints reached the pinnacle of this prayer, which opened the gates of Paradise for them. St. Seraphim, the creator of the Jesus Prayer, achieved high glory: bypassing all the ranks of angels, he was honored to praise God in the rank of seraphim. With them he now cries out to the Lord: Holy, Holy, Holy. The Jesus Prayer also enlightens the simple, making them great spiritual sages. Elder Basilisk 222, who died relatively recently, was a simple man, even illiterate. But the constant practice of the Jesus Prayer revealed to him the great mysteries of God. Elder Basilisk labored together with Zosima Verkhovsky, also a famous ascetic of the last century. Zosima Verkhovsky was from an old noble family, received an excellent education, but such a gift as Fr. Basilisk, did not. This latter often told Zosima his feelings when performing the Jesus Prayer, and Zosima wrote down what the Elder told him, and so a whole book 223 was compiled about the effect of the Jesus Prayer on the soul. But this book is difficult and cannot be distributed, since much in it can tempt a person who has no idea about the Jesus Prayer. To fully understand this book, you need to go through it through experience. People like Fr. Macarius, they would understand it, but for those with little experience in spiritual life it is not suitable, since it is height. Each of you goes through the Jesus Prayer with strength; It would be good to perform Pentecost at least once a week - it is important. In general, I am stingy with big rules, leaving independence in prayer. Morning and evening prayers must be read, if not all, then at least half. Then, every day you need to read at least one “Glory” from the Psalter. Saint John Chrysostom says: “Do not dare to spend even one day without reading the Psalter.” Thanks to prayer, life can be blissful despite all failures and sorrows. Prayer cleanses the soul from sins, making it righteous before God and even holy. There is righteousness and holiness. Saved and perfect. Every saint is also righteous, but not every righteous person is a saint. Not everyone can achieve holiness, but if they try to lead a righteous life, they receive salvation. Oh, that the Lord would grant us all the opportunity to be saved! Prayer and the sign of the cross saves us from the enemy, who places his nets everywhere. Today my brother and sister from Efremov visited me and told me the following. They lived prosperously: they had a store where their father traded, and both brothers helped him, their sister managed the household, and everything went well. But suddenly all sorts of troubles befell them. It started from an apparently insignificant reason. One day, near the gate of their house, someone threw wax candles, somehow strangely entwined with a washcloth. We told them about it. The father came out, raised the candles with the words: “What kind of evil spirits?” – and threw it far away. Then he went, as usual, to the store, and suddenly died in the evening. Obviously, the candles were enchanted, and he took them without the sign of the cross. One of the brothers started drinking after the Jewish woman gave him something to drink from a glass, and now he steals everything from the store, so that everything has to be locked from him. They don't really know what to do. Some people don't believe in conspiracies and magic and laugh at it, but here's the obvious proof. The spirit of evil, just as it harmed people before, does not cease to harm them now, choosing evil people as its tools. Although now they do not believe in the possibility of the intervention of evil spirits and even deny their existence, they say that everything is an old wives' tale, but they continue their hellish activities and drag unwary people to destruction. There are satanic prayers that affect people if they do not protect themselves with the sign of the cross. The lives of the holy martyrs Cyprian and Justina 224 tell what terrible troubles Satan brings to people, but the sign of the cross destroys all his power. Saint Cyprian, who was formerly a sorcerer, and then was baptized and ordained a bishop, told a lot about his former life in paganism, when he communicated with the spirits of darkness. Once, for example, he was transported by demons through the air in a boat from Damascus to Jerusalem - cities separated by three thousand miles - in just two hours. And Cyprian performed many, many sorceries and imaginary miracles until the grace of God overshadowed him, drawing everyone to salvation, and he accepted Christianity, and then sealed his faith in Christ with his blood. The Christian faith works great miracles: it regenerates a person, makes him from the carnal to the spiritual, from the passionate - dispassionate, from the evil - loving. So you have arrived in the distant Optina Pustyn, lost among a vast forest, unknown to many, and you are listening to my humble and weak conversation, and by your faith you receive spiritual consolation. May the Lord reward you for your love with all blessings, both earthly and heavenly. Amen. Conversations before leaving for the Staro-Golutvin Monastery January 3, 1912 Christmastide 225 Word spoken at the general blessing during Bishop Seraphim’s stay in Optina 226 (in response to complaints from one of the spiritual daughters that she had to endure and hear a lot of bitter things during this time) May this bitterness be transformed into joy 227. When the Jews were traveling through the desert, they came to the huge Lake Marah, which still exists today. They were thirsty, but the water turned out to be bitter. There was no way to drink this water. The people were ready to grumble, but God showed Moses a certain tree. Moses immersed it in water, and the water lost its bitterness and became pleasant to the taste 228. But these were images incomprehensible to the people, unless Moses understood the hidden meaning of what was happening. What did this tree symbolize, which sweetened the bitterness of the waters of Lake Marah? – Tree of the Cross. And now, in all the most bitter circumstances of life, a Christian has great consolation in the Cross of the Lord Jesus. No matter how sinful a Christian may be, he has precious faith in the Lord Jesus and by this faith he is saved. And you will be saved, just hold on to Christ. Cry to Him, and He will hear. Of course, not with your voice, but with your heart: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!” - and he will have mercy, he will have mercy! Amen. There is a lot of bitterness in life: failures, illness, poverty, etc. But if a person believes in God, then the Lord can sweeten even a bitter life. Remember the story of the Old Testament. When the Jews wandered through the desert, they one day reached Lake Marah. Exhausted with thirst, people wanted to satisfy it with the waters of the lake, but it turned out to be bitter. Then Moses, at the command of God, put the tree in the water, and it became sweet. Did the Jews understand the significance of what happened? No, they didn't understand. Moses, he knew what it represented. The tree that sweetened the water prefigured the Tree of the Cross, with which we enter Paradise. The Cross of Christ delights the life of a Christian. Remembering him makes it easier to bear your own cross. Our cross is illness and sorrow. It is difficult for a carnal man to bear them, but thanks to them he is reborn spiritually. The Lord made the following comparison: When a woman gives birth, she has sorrow, because her year is come; but when a child gives birth, he who does not remember the sorrow for the joy that a man was born into the world 229 . So, at first, a person is burdened by various sorrows, but when the Lord dwells in his heart, he forgets all his previous sufferings and in the very sorrows rejoices, according to the word of the Apostle: Just as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds in Christ 230 . The history of the Old Testament serves as a prototype of the New Testament, but both then and now, the Jews do not understand this. They read, for example, the Psalter, but, figuratively speaking, there is still a veil over their eyes. Subsequently, they will understand everything and, as the Apostle Paul testifies, the remnant of them will be saved 231, but only before the end of the world; the rest will all perish, they are the colonizers of hell. Imagine some rich Jew, even if he has at least a hundred million, and compare him with a beggar who has nothing, and does not have enough to eat, and does not get enough sleep. And you will see that the fate of the latter is incomparably better than the first. Why? Yes, because the first, with all his wealth, loses his soul and goes to hell. The Lord said: Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the Kingdom of God 232. This is said once and for all, for all ages. The poor man, despite all his suffering, is happy that he can inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. To receive this Kingdom, you only need to fulfill the commandments of Christ to the best of your ability and cry out to the Lord for mercy: not cry out with your lips, but with your heart. The Lord is infinite goodness. He thirsts for our salvation, and as soon as we turn to Him, He already stretches out His pure hands to us. “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner,” every believing soul should cry to the Lord. The Lord waits for us to call on Him, and rejoices at this calling. He who prays the Jesus Prayer will certainly be saved. The Lord will not let him die. He is ready to help anyone, and if we sometimes notice that the Lord seems to be leaving us, then the reason for this lies in the person himself. In the Gospel there is a story about the inhabitants of Nazareth - here the Lord could not perform any miracle. I have always been amazed by this narration of the Evangelist. The Lord, the Creator of the entire universe - and suddenly in an insignificant town he cannot create a miracle! The Evangelist notes: For their unbelief 233. They treated the Lord Jesus as an ordinary person, not expecting anything special from Him, so that the Lord Himself marveled at their unbelief. So many come to our quiet abode for consolation. They also turn to the sinful Barsanuphius; sometimes you manage to say everything for the benefit of the visitor, and he is completely satisfied. It is not I who console him, but the Lord, and, moreover, according to the faith of each. Without faith, even in Optina Pustyn you will not receive consolation. “Now the Heavenly Powers serve with us invisibly” - this verse is sung instead of the “Cherubim” during the Liturgy of the Presanctified Gifts in Lent. A wonderful, touching song with deep meaning. When we fulfill the Gospel commandments to the best of our ability, then, indeed, the Heavenly Powers invisibly serve with us, instructing us in all good things. But other forces can also serve invisibly, only not Heavenly, but gloomy, hellish ones, drawing a person to destruction. These hellish forces served Tolstoy until they dragged him to the bottom of hell. Nowadays, many have fallen away from the faith, spiritual interests are in the background, and they live only for the belly. A sad phenomenon is sometimes noticed when people of different directions unite their fate. I remember one girl: pure, innocent, religious, she passionately, with all her soul, loved one person, not knowing his spiritual mood. This love grew in her, and when the girl was asked if she would agree to marry him, she answered with excitement: “Becoming his wife is the greatest happiness I have ever thought of.” “But he doesn’t believe in anything!” - No matter what, he believes in me, in my love for him. - He doesn’t believe in God! - It can’t be, such a wonderful, ideal person cannot be an unbeliever! - But you'll see. There will be a big holiday soon, invite him to mass, will he agree? Soon after this conversation, the girl and her fiancé were visiting in the same house. After the usual conversation, she told him: “Then there will be a patronal feast day in our church, come there for the all-night vigil.” - He was silent. – Are you uncomfortable with the all-night vigil? Do you have a service? Well, come to the Liturgy, mom and I will be there too, and from there you can come and have tea with us and have lunch with us. Of course you will come? “No,” he answered, “because I don’t believe in anything.” These words hit her like a blow to the head, she was convinced that they told her the truth about him, but she could no longer stop loving him. Against the wishes of her father and mother, she married him. At first, the parents did not bless: “We cannot keep you, but we don’t agree to bless you for this marriage.” Then, feeling sorry for the daughter, perhaps they blessed her. They got married. At first life was still bearable, but soon it became impossible for her. He was calm, but she suffered greatly: moral and religious, she was unable to indifferently endure his blasphemous attitude towards her religious views. When it was time to go to church, he invited me to the theater: “I’ve already taken my box to the opera.” - “Yes, I’m not against the theater, I’ll go with you, just not on such a big holiday.” He did not listen to her and stood between her and God, distancing her from the Lord. This drama ended terribly, but I am drawing the veil. Here's another example. Two loving hearts united: both he and she are believers; at first everything went well, but he fell into bad society and became interested in some unworthy woman; this monster came between husband and wife. The wife’s life became difficult, she missed him and did not know how to bring her husband back to her. One day she met a believer, and he told her: – Don’t be discouraged, you can get your husband back. - Here's how. Maybe the Lord is punishing you for some unconfessed sin. Go over your whole life in your memory, then get ready for 3-4 days, or even the whole week, go to some church on the outskirts of the city, confess and receive the Holy Mysteries. Next, pray to God for your husband and call to prayer also the saints who have been given the grace to unite separated spouses. Pray to St. George the Victorious 234 and the holy martyrs Guria, Samon and Aviv 235. The abandoned wife listened to good advice and did everything as she was told. Less than two months had passed before her husband returned to her again, kind and believing, and they lived well, as before. It was the prayer and intercession of the saints that saved the family from destruction. The saints are always ready to help us, if only we resort to them with faith and love. There is an instructive life of the holy martyrs Adrian and Natalia 236. Natalia converted her husband to Christ, and she also breathed into him the courage to suffer for Christ and thereby led him to an eternally blissful life. It is a great blessing to have such a friend. The wife opened the gates of the Kingdom of Heaven to her husband, and you, wives, must strive to attract your husbands to the Lord and thereby save your souls and theirs. In all sorrows, run with faith to the Savior; He will never leave you. Indeed, faith works miracles. When I still lived in Kazan, from time to time I visited the Raifa desert, located about thirty miles from the city. Its abbot was a very respected elder. Under him the monastery stood high; now, they say, the sublime ascetic mood there has dropped, just as the spirit of many monasteries has dropped, even in ours. I once came to the abbot, and he said to me: “I want to build a good bell tower, I already have a plan, but it’s just a matter of money.” “Yes, it’s an unimportant circumstance,” I smiled, “well, God help me.” However, the abbot doubted what to do. He remembered that the Scripture says that the Lord can proclaim His will through a baby. Once he walked in deep thought; suddenly he sees a peasant woman walking with a little girl of three or four years old. The mother approached Father for the blessing and folded the girl’s hands; he blessed them, and then, turning to the child, asked: - Well, tell me, Sasha, should I build a bell tower or not? “Shloy,” answered the little one. The abbot accepted this as God's instruction and began the work. Soon a benefactor donated a million bricks; then a rich merchant from Kazan arrived and said: - Father, I want to donate a quarter for your construction. “Save, Lord,” said the abbot. At that time, he valued every ruble. “I came to you in the afternoon and took the clerk with me so that it would be calmer.” – Hands him a voluminous package. “You are mistaken,” said the abbot, “there are not 25 rubles here.” “Yes, more,” answered the merchant. We started counting and it turned out to be 25 thousand, that is, a quadruple of 100 thousand. Then someone donated an expensive bell. The bell tower turned out beautiful, and it still stands today. The ringing of bells can be heard far away, calling people to pray in the Raifa desert. And each of you must build a bell tower for yourself in your heart, and there the bells of faith, hope and love for the Lord God must ring in it. Amen. February 5, 1912 Forgiveness Sunday “What will I bring to Thee, or what will I repay to Thee...” - this is how the well-known prayer to all of you begins, read at bedtime for those coming. “What I will bring to You, or what I will repay to You. O great-gifted immortal King, O Lord, generous and philanthropic, for having been lazy in pleasing me, and having done nothing good, didst thou bring to the end of this past day the conversion and salvation of my soul? – these words are quite suitable for us now. What can we bring to the Lord? Nothing. The threshold of the Holy Pentecost has arrived; in 1911, we also began Lent with hope in the hope of correction, but what did we gain during this time, almost a year? Nothing. We are poor and naked. But the Lord, the All-Bountiful and the Most Merciful, says: “Are you sinning? I'll forgive you. Beggar? I will enrich you." Just cry out with humility: “Lord, save, have mercy!” - and will save and have mercy! We cannot bring anything to the Lord, and He does not require anything from us. He is endless love. But the enemy attacks people strongly, wanting to destroy a person, and therefore the fight against him is so necessary. To people drowning in sins, the enemy says: “What are you doing special - sinning like everyone else, you will repent. Yes, and maybe there is a God? He doesn't exist at all. Live calmly: get drunk, be debauched, fornicate, everything is permitted for you, there is no great sin here.” If the soul follows the path of salvation, then the enemy will get involved: “You desperate sinner, is it possible for you to be saved, you will perish anyway.” Why is he suggesting this? And to bring despondency to the soul, and then plunge it into despair. Don't listen to him. Although we are sinners, we should never lose heart. In front of the icon of the Savior, I tell you that you will be saved and will not go to hell, if only you follow the path of humility and repentance. May the Lord help you. February 5, 1912 (conversation with nuns on the same day) As soon as fasting begins, temptations will begin. The enemy especially attacks because this time of repentance is the most hated for him. One Athonite monk told me that the enemy not only inspires all sorts of obscene thoughts, but also appears sensually, mostly in the form of little blacks. in order to confuse and frighten the soul that works for the Lord. However, sensually they appear to holy people; They will not seem like that to us sinners; the testing in the works sent from the Lord is enough. May the Lord help us all. We must gather for the Heavenly Jerusalem and try not only to strive there in thought, but also to dwell in it forever. Amen. I would like to talk with you longer, but there is not much time. We will try to use it to benefit both you and me. The late sovereign Alexander III was called the Peacemaker. Great name! There was Peter the Great, Alexander the Blessed, Alexander the Liberator, but there were no peacemakers. None of his predecessors were given this name, and it was assigned to him not only in Russia, but throughout the world. Why? Yes, because he held all of Europe in his hands. Under him there was peace throughout the world. When he came to the throne, Russia was in a state of complete destruction. Everything dark rose up against her and rebelled. They told him: “What will you do? How to manage? - “Nothing, I trust in my Lord Jesus Christ.” And I was not deceived. Such power, such glory as Russia achieved under him, has never existed and is unlikely to ever exist. He decided the destinies of all of Europe, everyone took his opinion into account, they were afraid of him. Somehow a war was being prepared between the two powers - Germany rebelled against France, but then the question arose: how would the Russian autocrat look at this? They say: “Frown your eyebrows? Hey, that means you can’t fight,” – there was no war. Another time there was also a war, they asked again: “How will the Russian autocrat look at this?” “He moved his eyebrows,” they say. - “Did your eyebrows move?” Hey, we have to postpone it.” Well, here comes the world - here comes the peacemaker. And this happened more than once. The Lord said: Blessed are the peacemakers, for these shall be called the sons of God 237. This is the reward that awaits - they will be called “sons of God,” and this is no small thing. The Lord Jesus Christ is the Son of God in essence, and we are by gift of grace from the Lord. So, can each of us be a peacemaker? Of course it can. - Forgive the offender. Is it really easy? Let's take an example: a nun is walking, another one meets her and calls her the most offensive word. She was all boiling: “I’ve been living in a monastery for twenty years, I’ve never heard anything like this,” but she remained silent. It reached Mother Superior, she calls her and asks: “How dare she call you that?” - “Mother, don’t tell her anything, I’m worth it.” The case was dropped. Well, here comes the world, here comes the peacemaker! And then it happens that one’s own father, or one’s own mother, or sister, or brother suddenly rises up. This is even harder - here you are relatives by blood, and they will insult you. How to carry it? Can't you? Ask the Lord, go to the icon. And we try to pass by the icon, as if we don’t see it. Pray: “Lord, help me, I deserve it myself, it’s my fault,” reproach yourself. The Lord loves this kind of prayer - self-reproach; The Lord does not tolerate self-justification. What to do, this is the law, you must obey. It is known that demons call us Orthodox Christians “sons of God.” The Lord first created the invisible world, but a handful of it rebelled and fell away from God, then those who fell away were cast out of Heaven. The places remained vacant. Here the Lord creates the earth, adorning it like a bride. Satan is watching what will happen next, for whom what? Certainly not for us, he thinks. Then the Lord creates Adam and Eve and gives them the commandment not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. “Oh, so this is what,” says Satan, “we must destroy them.” And it destroys. First Eve falls, then Adam. Many will find it strange how Almighty God allowed the devil to destroy them. But the Lord allowed this in order to recreate Adam in Christ, to make him even better than He created him. God came down to earth and opened the way for us so that we could improve, that is, become godlike. But this path is difficult, strewn with suffering. When I was still in the world, about 40 years ago, a schema-monk from Athos visited me. I received him as best I could, treated him, I had no shortage of money in the world. He came to me in the evening, around seven o’clock. We sit and talk. He tells me that demons can also appear sensually. “Have they appeared to you, father?” - I ask. - “Why, I only saw it once in my life. One day I came home from mass, lay down to rest before the meal, the door was locked, and suddenly I saw two black little girls standing there, I thought, where did this come from? I hear one and says to the other in Russian: “He’s not sleeping,” he answers. I see they are carrying something in the form of a shawl or wrap. - Throw it at him, he will suffocate, no one will know why he died. I stood up and made the sign of the cross: Lord Jesus Christ of God, have mercy on me, a sinner - instantly the little black little girls jumped to the end of the room. I say: - What do you damned ones want from me? Why do you hate us Orthodox Christians so much? - Out of envy that God is unfair to us: why do you want to take our places? - Yes, of course, you sin, you sin, and then you go to your confessor, whisper with him there, and everything is forgiven to you. - Yes, you can return to your places again. - So, humble yourself, come right now to the icon and pray. “Well, it’s your own fault, pride ruined you.” During the conversation, we did not notice how the night passed. He pulls back the curtain and says: “Well, now let’s lie down to rest for an hour.” - “How about an hour?” – I’m surprised. “What time do you need to go to work?” “By nine,” I answer. - “Well, which one now?” I took out my watch and saw that it was seven o'clock, one o'clock until eight, and I always get up at eight - while you wash, get dressed, drink tea - and an hour passed, at nine I was already going to work. It seems like I could sit and talk with you all night, but no, we need to separate. So, I repeat, if you want to be called the sons of God, humble yourself, forgive those who offended you and inherit eternal life. No - the direct road to hell, from which fate save us. God. Everyone is given the right to be sons of God, here there is no male or female gender 238. Nowhere does it say that only men will be called sons of God. Each of us, with God's help, can achieve this. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the Father and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen. Why are you confused, and why are thoughts entering your hearts? 239 Calm down, don't mourn. True, I was offered the position of archimandrite, and it would have been insolence on my part to say: “I don’t want to, I won’t go,” - I have always submitted to the will of God and the Holy Synod; but I, as a favor, ask you to leave me here. Where will I be when I’m 70 years old, traveling around to other people’s monasteries? There are many people far more deserving than me to take this place. What am I, an old wreck! The life of the Monk Seraphim of Sarov says that he was once appointed archimandrite to one regular monastery, at a time when people from all over Russia came to the Monk for advice. A paper arrives in Sarov with the order: “Hieromonk Seraphim is appointed archimandrite of such and such a monastery.” It was, of course, the enemy who set up a temptation for him. The monk refused, but then the enemy attacked him with terrible force: all kinds of temptations poured down on him like a river from all sides. These enemy attacks were so strong that Father Seraphim almost fell into despondency. There is a proverb: “If you chase two hares, you won’t catch either,” but the enemy also chases two hares. This is what happened in this case. The enemy hoped to defeat the Reverend in various ways: if he went to another monastery, he would break his head there; if he did not leave, he would be defeated here. But the Monk Seraphim recognized the machinations of the enemy and began to fight him in an extraordinary way: for a thousand days and nights he stood on a stone, praying to the Lord for himself and the whole world. Through prayer he defeated the enemy, and his spirit became peaceful and calm, despite the failures. And our elders were subjected to strong enemy attack. Father Anatoly, for example, the last of the great elders, was once transferred as an archimandrite to Sarapul, 240 but he petitioned to have this appointment removed from him and was dismissed. Father Fr. Ambrose was also translated. The elder had been very ill in recent years, and when he was informed about the transfer, he calmly replied: “I can move from bed to sofa, but no further.” All this is being orchestrated by the enemy, who hates old age. So he rebelled against me, a sinner. However, I do not lose heart, but completely surrender myself to the will of God. We live in difficult times. Of course, the enemy has always rebelled against all those who do not want to do his will. I remember, with Father Fr. Anatoly, who looks from the portrait as if alive, was also uneasy. Consoling, oh. Anatoly said: “These worries are only like small ripples on the water, and then there will be strong storms and hurricanes, but do not be afraid, do not lose faith in the Lord, and He will never leave you.” “The sea of ​​life, raised up in vain by the adversity of the storm,” but the Lord will save and bring “to a quiet refuge” all who cry out to Him: “Raise my belly from aphids, O Omni-merciful One” 241 . Nowadays many are leaving Christ - this is terrible. The Pharisees, reproaching the healed man born blind, said: You are His disciple, but we are Moses’ disciples 242. Nowadays many are no longer disciples of Moses, but will give you any number of learned names and consider themselves their disciples, but not Christ. We are “disciples of Christ,” although sinful and unworthy, we still want to follow our Lord. Don’t be discouraged, I always try to convince you in all conversations so that you don’t fall into despair. Believe that you will be saved if you only believe in Christ the Savior, and you will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Sins won't hurt. The Lord is infinitely good. Come, tell me in confession what you sinned, and now all your sins have already been forgiven and forgotten by the Lord. There are many examples in the Holy Church of how sinners not only received forgiveness for repentance, but the Lord elevated them into the freedom of glory as children of God. Who, for example, was the Venerable Mary at the beginning of her life? Harlot. And now not only the Eastern, but also the Western Church calls on her: “Reverend Mother Mary, pray to God for us.” And Moses Murin was a robber who robbed, burned, killed and committed all sorts of crimes, and now: “Reverend Father Moses, pray to God for us.” Terrible things are happening in the world now: a Buddhist temple has been erected in St. Petersburg and they are about to erect a huge idol with a golden head there and arrange an idol service; Let us pray to God that this does not happen. The enemy places nets everywhere, and many fall into them and die. A mass of sects multiplied; sometimes Orthodox Christians, out of curiosity, “go, for example, to Baptists, to listen to what they say, and die. The Holy Fathers say: curiosity is a mortal sin. It seems strange to some how this curiosity is placed along with the gravest sins, for example, murder, robbery, etc., because it has disastrous consequences. Everyone knows that Eve's curiosity destroyed the whole world. The enemy entered into a conversation with her, asking if it was true that the Lord had forbidden them to eat from all the trees of paradise? She answered: “No, only from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” - “Do you know why? - said the enemy. “Because God knows that if you eat from this tree, you will be like Him.” And so curiosity forces Eve to sin, and her sin extends to all of humanity. Abba Dorotheos tells about one monk who was very curious, 243 spying and eavesdropping on everything, and then one day he saw as if one monk was committing a grave sin, he wanted to cover him up, but it turned out that nothing had happened. The sin of curiosity often happens in monasteries. For example, two nuns walk and talk, and the third thinks: they are talking about me, they looked at me, and enmity begins without any real reason. And how many misfortunes are caused because of curiosity now is difficult to list. For example, a wife begins to wonder if her husband is interested in anyone; I once watched him return home, and saw as if a completely muffled female figure was walking next to him. Now suspicions are born in her soul, and jealousy begins to torment her. The husband comes: “Who did you return from service with?” - "With whom? One". - “What, you’re deceiving me...” - and then there’s a whole storm. Night mistrust begins. In the absence of her husband, the wife rummages through his desk, finds nothing, but still does not calm down. And all this ends in the destruction of family life, both they and the children suffer. Meanwhile, the husband was clean. It was the enemy who presented before the wife’s eyes something that did not really exist. He's a master at this. And an ugly face can be presented as beautiful, and a non-existent one as existing. He works here by hypnosis. Now even science recognizes the effect of hypnosis, and it is even used for treatment. Hypnosis has been known for a very long time. In 1881 or 1882 I read an article in a magazine entitled “In the Wilds of India,” which tells about an English artist who traveled through India. In India there were many sorcerers-yogis, as they were called. The artist did not believe in the possibility of their existence. One day he decided to paint a picture, and one of the yogis asked permission to be present. The artist allowed it. He paints for a day, two, a month, and finally the picture is ready. Shows it to friends. “What did you write?” - “Such and such a view of the Himalayan mountains.” “No, this is completely different.” Here a veil seems to fall from the artist’s eyes, and he sees that he really painted a completely different look. It turned out that the yogi had said in advance that he would inspire him to draw such and such, and he really did. - Father, why does this happen: I sometimes go to church in a good prayerful mood, but as soon as I arrive, all sorts of thoughts attack me, often downright ridiculous, and I just can’t get rid of them; even when I enter the altar, and then they overcome me. “It’s from the enemy,” I answer. “I know it’s from the enemy, but how can the enemy penetrate such a holy place as the altar?” It seems that he cannot approach such a shrine? – Yes, but here he acts through hypnosis. He may be far away, but since space and stone walls do not exist for him, he acts by hypnosis over an enormous distance, inspiring bad thoughts and feelings. To drive away these thoughts, you need to say the Jesus Prayer in church, of course, not out loud, not shouting at the whole church, but mentally. And now the so-called sorcerers, with the help of the enemy, are instilling terrible things in people; for example, one mother was told to kill her baby. Sorcerers also work at great distances and usually ask some thing from the person they want to hypnotize. The late elder Fr. told me. Anatoly: when he was still in the world and served in the Treasury Chamber, he once traveled on business with a colleague. On the way they met a convoy and blocked the road. They waited and waited, and finally came out to see why the convoy was not moving any further. They come up and see a man spinning around one wheel, and everyone is looking at him, “What’s going on here?” - they ask. “Yes, you see,” they answer, “this is where the sorcerer enters the hole of the wheel and comes out of it.” Of course, it is impossible for a person to walk into the barrel of the wheel; obviously, the sorcerer hypnotized everyone who looked, and they saw something that did not exist in reality. But how can one escape from the enemy’s snares? By invoking the name of God and the sign of the cross. The Cross of Christ is an invincible weapon against adversaries; the enemy trembles at the Cross of the Lord. From the lives of the holy martyrs Cyprian and Justina, it is known that the enemy turned out to be powerless before the cross of Christ. One young man fell in love with Justina and wanted to marry her, but she was a Christian and could not marry a pagan, and, moreover, she did not want to marry at all. Then the young man turned to the famous sorcerer Cyprian, he began to send demons to instill in Justina a passion for fornication, but he did not succeed, because when she felt the kindling of her flesh in herself, she immediately resorted to God, and the passion passed. The offended pagan began to reproach Cyprian, who turned to his god Satan and asked: why does he not have power over Justina? - “Yes, because she performs a sign.” - "Which?" - “Does it matter to you, you don’t need to know.” - “No, I want to know what kind of sign this is, which affects all your strength?” And Cyprian learned that this was a sign of the cross of Christ. Then he left paganism, accepted Christianity and then became a bishop and teacher of the Church, sealing his faith in Christ with his martyrdom. The Cross of Christ and the name of Jesus drive enemies far away, and therefore how important, how necessary it is to continually say the Jesus Prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!” For holy people it is constantly happening in the heart. One ascetic, Paisiy (Velichkovsky), founded a monastery in Bessarabia called Nyametsky. In addition to the dormitory, at some distance from the monastery there was a cell for the monks who labored in silence. One day, demons appeared to Paisius in a sensual way and said to him: “Take away these monks, what kind of arbitrators they are, they live separately, let them live with you in the monastery!” - “Why are they bothering you?” – asked Paisiy. “They are burning us,” answered the demons. The burning, of course, is not sensual, but with the unceasing Jesus Prayer, which is a flame of fire against adversaries. It is necessary to always hit the enemy with this weapon, and just as a dog that is hit on the head with a club finally lags behind a man, so the enemy, scorched and scourged by the name of Jesus, will run away from us if we say this prayer. Among the saints, it was self-propelled, that is, it was performed in the heart continuously, but we, sinners, although we will perform this prayer according to our strength, and the Lord will not leave us and will save us from the snares of the enemy. Amen. March 18, 1912 Palm Sunday You have all heard that I was transferred to the Golutvin Monastery 244, near Kolomna. It happened completely unexpectedly. It started with the fact that there were denunciations against the archimandrite about cutting down forests. The monastery was on the sidelines, since the matter concerned the monastery. The denunciations were false, the forests were intact; The monastery stood up for the archimandrite and defended him. Then the enemy attacked the sinful abbot Barsanuphius and, as you can see, expelled him from Optina Pustyn. A bishop arrived from some foreign diocese 245, began to inspect the monastery, and then visited the Skete. They told him that we have had eldership for a long time, and here is the last elder - Abbot Barsanuphius. Then he decided, ostensibly to establish eldership in other places, to transfer me to an abandoned monastery outside Kolomna. They objected to him that Optina would be left without an elder, but he did not pay attention to this. The Synod decided on my transfer. I obey the will of the Holy Synod as the will of God, I only asked for the grace to leave me here as a simple monk, but it was refused. That’s right, it’s the Lord’s will, and I’m calm. Of course, it will be difficult for me to get used to the new order, having lived here for twenty years, but God’s will be done. When I was sent to Manchuria, I was sure that I would not return from there. It was difficult for me to travel. And I imagined how I, weak and sick, would go to the active army to confess and receive communion, perhaps under a hail of bullets. Otherwise, my former comrades will meet and say: “Here you have come to us,” and they will involve me in worldly conversations. But I said: “God’s will be done,” and I went. And well, the Lord did not leave me, I found paradise in Manchuria. Wonderful nature with eternal spring, like in Italy, wonderful people. The Lord miraculously returned me to Optina, I received almost ten awards. Those who tried to take me to Manchuria were punished by the Lord. There were three of them. One has already died, and two are alive. They rejoiced as they sent me away: “No,” they said, “he won’t come back now.” It was assumed that the war would drag on for 15 years, but it soon ended, and after living in Manchuria for about two years, I returned from there unharmed. Now the same thing is happening again. They send me to a deserted ancient monastery, founded almost in the 13th century. The staff of St. Sergius of Radonezh, a revered shrine, is kept in the church there. I have never been to Kolomna, but I think that this monastery resembles the one in Kazan, founded by Ivan the Terrible in the name of John the Baptist. There were about five brothers there, the novices wore frock coats; They were on duty one day at a time, and in their free time they left the monastery and spent time in an unknown place, sometimes not even showing up for the night. Perhaps there is something similar here. There are about nine brothers, I think, two hieromonks will meet me; I don’t bless you to meet me or see me off, but when I get settled there, God will bless you to come. The other day one of my spiritual sons came to me and cried bitterly: “We have lost our Father!” I answered him: “Why cry, I’m not dying. Have you ever been to Moscow?” - “Why,” they say, “I come very often.” - “Well, it’s close to Kolomna from Moscow, two hours’ drive, so you’ll come to me.” So you will come too. I don’t promise to treat you with kvass, let alone sweet water. My current situation resembles the following: I was walking along a straight road, and it seemed to me that this way I would reach my goal; suddenly there is a log on the way - turn off, they say. But I don’t want to turn off, it’s good for me to go, I’m used to walking this road, although at times I deviate now to the right, now to the left, but still I go; no, they say, turn it off. Lord, my God, but I don’t want to at all; and suddenly I hear another voice telling me: “Curl” - this is the voice of God. God's will be done. Yes, I didn’t want to leave here, but now I receive a letter from one of the members of the Synod, Bishop Sergius of Finland, 246 in which he writes: “I heard that you want to refuse the appointment to go into seclusion - do not do this, but accept the decision of the Synod as the will of God.” I myself did not bother, but some of my spiritual children bothered for me, and their petition could have been valid, but in this case it remained unsuccessful. Elena Andreevna Voronova 247 went to see Metropolitan Anthony 248 but he could not cancel the resolution of the Synod, and although he knew me in the world and treated me well, he also advised me to go to Golutvin - this is the second voice that came from the lips of the main member of the Synod. Moscow Bishop Tryphon 249, whom all of Moscow respects, writes to me: “Do not refuse the appointment, this monastery is under my authority, I will do everything to make you feel good here.” You see, there are already three votes from respected persons. I accept their words as coming from the Lord Himself, and calmly submit to their decision. I telegraphed the Metropolitan of Moscow 250, under whose authority I am now: “I ask Your Eminence for the mercy to allow me to spend Passion and the first three or four days of Easter in Optina to celebrate the Great Holiday in my own family of monks and some laymen, my spiritual children.” To my request, Vladyka answered me with a gracious telegram with permission to celebrate the holiday in Optina. “God bless,” writes the Bishop. So, glory to You, Lord, we will celebrate the holiday together, and on the third or fourth day I will leave. Some in Optina will rejoice at my departure: those who dislike me. But it’s not for us to judge them. The Lord will judge everyone. To Him, the All-Good, we will resort in all sorrows and misfortunes. Let us place all our trust in Him, let us hold on to the Lord and not fall away from Him. In the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 10, verse 32, it is said: Whoever confesses Me before men, him will I also confess before My Father who is in heaven. What a high promise! If Christ confesses someone before His Father, then, therefore, He promises Paradise. You can confess Christ in many different ways, in every rank and condition, from a commoner to a king, from a peasant to an autocrat. There are few confessors at the present time; many, very many have fallen away from Christ, such voices are often heard: does it matter how you believe, everyone will be saved - Mohammedans, Jews, and pagans. If they ask you about this, answer: “I don’t know whether they will be saved, I only know that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and the Holy Orthodox Church introduce us into the Kingdom of Heaven. Those who do not enter the Kingdom will be sent to hell for eternal torment.” The terrible word “eternal torment”; however, only hardened unrepentant sinners who died in their sins have no hope of pardon; as for those people who, although they sin, repent of their sins and do not rely on their good deeds, the Lord will have mercy on them. For example, a criminal turns to the king with a request: “Your Majesty, I am sentenced to hard labor for my crimes; I know that I was justly condemned, but you are the king and you can have mercy on me.” And the king answers him: “Since you turned to me with faith that I can do this, I not only forgive you, but I also give you land for a house and money to set up, just don’t do any more evil.” This is what the Lord does with those who repent. The sinner says: “Lord, I have nothing: my thoughts wander, my feelings and my deeds are disgusting to You. I have sinned gravely before You, but have mercy on me, as God.” And the Lord answers: “Because you believe in Me and ask for My help, I not only forgive you everything, but also grant you the Kingdom of Heaven. Just leave your iniquities, die to sin: if you were proud, then die for pride through humility, let the anger die in you and be replaced by love; let stinginess die and in its place let mercy be implanted in your heart.” The saints, mortifying their passions, achieved complete dispassion and reigned with Christ. Each nation offered its saints to the Lord as a pure sacrifice. Of the ancient peoples, the Greeks and Romans gave the most saints; the Persians gave the saints; in India, where the Apostle Thomas preached, there were also saints, for example, Prince Joasaph and his teacher Barlaam; in China, although there has been a sermon about Christ for a long time, it was only during the last revolution in the church that a deacon was killed during a service 251, therefore, he appeared before the Throne of God as a martyr. In Europe, Russia sacrificed the most saints to God, and in Western Europe - Italy; in France, two saints are known whose relics rest there - Dionysius of Paris and Irenaeus of Lyon 252; There were saints in Germany as well (of course, before the division of the Churches). Sweden, Norway and England did not produce 253 saints. Great is the prayer and intercession of the saints. Reading their lives elevates the soul and encourages it to imitate. Recently a private assistant professor came to see me; the man is young, well educated, has an excellent place and has just married a beautiful and rich girl, but he does not have complete happiness, he still lacks something. – What do you read at the University? – I ask him. “Ancient history,” he answers. – Which of the ancient heroes do you like best? – Of the conquerors, of course, Alexander the Great, but two heroes surprise and inspire me with awe: Horace Cocles and Mucius Scaevola - these are people worthy of imitation. – You are surprised at these pagan heroes, but in our Orthodox Church there are many such heroes of the spirit; Why am I saying “such” - incomparably higher heroes - these are our saints. Start reading the Lives of the Saints and get great pleasure. He listened to my advice, and yesterday he visited me for the second time. - What a height! - he said about the lives of saints. – And if you knew what high delights I experienced while reading Demetrius of Rostov! I've read a lot, but I've never seen anything like it. So the whole soul is filled with flame, and so he would begin to imitate them! “We need to imitate them.” Although we are not able to endure such feats as they did, we will imitate them to the best of our ability. The Lord does not demand anything impossible from us, does not say: dress in sackcloth, wear chains, etc., but only wants us to give Him our hearts, so that the Lord may reign there. My interlocutor asked for blessings to publish small books, abridged Lives of the Saints. Indeed, if a person reads a small book, he will want to know the detailed Lives of the saints. I blessed. And now he brought me several books to look at, wonderful books, the children read them with enthusiasm and cannot put them down. Behold, our words resemble seeds. I threw a seed, but it grew and bore fruit. And what empty little books are given to children to read and ruin young souls! Reading the Lives of the saints fills their pure souls with light. After all, the word “holy” comes from the word “light,” since saints shed the light of Christ around them. By reading the Lives of the Saints, you will not gain knowledge in physics or chemistry, but you will learn to go deeper into yourself, how to know yourself. There are the most learned people who seem to be comprehensively educated, but, having no faith, they do not know their souls at all. I remember my childhood. We lived in the village 254. My parents were believers; my father usually read aloud the life of some saint before dinner on holidays. I remember I was not even 7 years old, but I listened to my father with enthusiasm. I used to run my little hands through my brown curls and I was afraid to utter a word from what my father was reading. “Daddy,” I tell him, “I want to be a saint.” But it’s painful to go into the furnace or into the tin pot. - You can become a saint in another way. “I have no time to talk to you,” the father answers and continues reading. I remember how my soul lit up from this reading. I was still little then, and my soul was pure. Reading was of great importance for my later life. Now, although I am unworthy, I am still a monk. Our family was Orthodox: we all kept fasts and went to church. It is a pity that now all the decrees of the Church are violated, which is why children become spoiled and often grow up completely unfit. When I was already an officer, the works of Spielhagen were in fashion. Once they persuaded me to read “From Darkness to Light.” I started reading and was disappointed. Everything there is only darkness, heroes and heroines are also filled with darkness; When will the light appear, I thought, but I read and read, and didn’t even get to the light, it was all just darkness. I left this book unread. One day I entered the orderly’s room to give him some instructions: I saw that he was sleeping, and on the table next to him was a little book about Philaret the Merciful 255. I became interested in her, woke up the orderly so that he would open the doors if anyone came, and I took the book and went out into the garden. From the very first pages I could not help but cry and read the whole story with great eagerness (I actually read it quickly). I gave the book to the orderly. He smiles: – Did you like my book? “I liked it very much,” I answer, “I read it with pleasure.” - And I, sir, tried to read your book, like it... Shpil... Shpil... I can’t pronounce... - Spielhagen? Well, did you like it? - Where I like it, I read one page, didn’t understand anything, read another - too, and then quit. - Yes, I don’t like it either, yours is better. - So why are you reading? – I started reading from someone else’s voice, but now I’ve given up. “Yes,” my orderly concluded thoughtfully, “there is nothing but emptiness.” I have read a lot of secular books, and for the most part there is really nothing but emptiness in them. True, sometimes something will flash, like a distant lightning, and disappear, and then darkness again. The current literature of all the Andreevs and Artsybashevs gives absolutely nothing useful and comforting to either the mind or the heart. It becomes scary for the younger generation, which is brought up on such literary garbage. Both poetry and art greatly influence the human soul and ennoble it. For example, a talentedly executed picture, especially if it has something lofty as its subject, even happens to regenerate a person’s soul - of course, by the grace of God. Once, it seems last year, I had two ladies 256 from an intelligent circle and they carried my name like evil 257 for what, you ask? They found that my prayer room was too luxurious for Optina, and most importantly, they did not like the large picture of an Angel comforting a sorrowful soul. Strange people. The word “luxury” seems to be completely inapplicable to my prayer room: it is small, with a low wooden ceiling, but decently decorated. Its main decoration is images, and then portraits of the deceased Optina elders. So the painting of the Angel, although it has some shortcomings in its execution, still makes an impression, especially in the evening, by the light of the lamp, then he, as if alive, stands out from the canvas. I tried to make my prayer room somewhat reminiscent of Heaven, where our soul should strive. Some of my good friends, very rich people, told me about it. They took care of one orphan boy, sent him to a gymnasium, helped his mother with money for his upbringing. At first everything went well, but then the boy changed. He stopped preparing lessons, started playing pranks, and the gymnasium asked to take him. Christmas has come. My friends had a Christmas tree; At first they didn’t want to invite the naughty guy, they were afraid that he might do something, but then they invited him. He came and everyone was surprised. Instead of playing pranks, he modestly entered the room where there was a tree, and then, for some unknown reason, he hid in the corner behind the piano and kept his eyes on some object hanging on the tree. He sat there for a long time, finally got out of his hiding place, went up to the mistress of the house and knelt before her. - What do you want, Kolya? – she asked the boy. - That's right, did you do something? “No,” the child answered, “I won’t be naughty, just give me that Angel that’s hanging on the tree there,” and the boy showed it. “Okay,” answered the hostess, “wait a little, they will hand out toys, bring a ladder and get you an Angel.” The boy obediently went back to the piano to admire his Angel, until he finally received it. And so: from then on he stopped doing trifles, began studying and was again admitted to the gymnasium. Now he takes the matter seriously, he has become so religious, and who knows, maybe later he will become an ascetic. The kneeling Angel depicted in the picture brought about such a revolution in the child. Not a picture, of course, but God Himself turned the soul to Himself, and the tool was the picture. From this simple example it is clear how wrongly those who, rebelling against everything material, such as paintings, portraits, etc., act, deprive the soul of the beneficial impressions received from these objects. So, I will celebrate the holiday of Holy Easter with you, and then I will go to the place of my new destination; I don’t know what will happen there - what the Lord will send. I’ve never been to Kolomna, they say it’s a factory town, I don’t like it, I’d rather go to a secluded monastery, at least to the hermitage near Belev, but as the Lord wills. It will be necessary to arrange a ruined nest there. Well, somehow I’ll arrange a bench for you, I’ll paint it, and then I’ll notify you: “The bench is ready, painted, and the paint is dry, don’t get it dirty, come.” Maybe I won’t be as overwhelmed with things there as I am here. There are a few of us, but let's not be embarrassed. Christ said: Fear not, little flock! 258 The Lord had only 12 disciples, and when Judas fell away, 11 remained, but they had a good time together, since Christ was between them. And Christ will be with us, even if there are 11 of us, and not only 11, if two or three are gathered in My name, I am among them 259. May the grace of God be upon you all. Amen. March 26, 1912 Bright Monday I earnestly ask for your holy prayers, my spiritual daughters in the Lord, on the difficult path that lies ahead of me. I don’t want to hide from myself what kind of work lies ahead of me in my new field. I submit to the decision of the Holy Synod as the will of God; but I asked myself for mercy to leave me alone in the Skete. Maybe I don’t have much time left to live, I need to prepare for eternity, for which I am not at all ready or very little. I have long wanted to leave my superiors and abbess, and give up my eldership. Let others take upon themselves these labors, let new forces come on this path, but I wanted to retire to the silent cell in which I began my monasticism, but there is no God’s will for this, and therefore it is necessary to go to a new assignment. In response to the request to leave me in the Skete, I received three letters: from Archbishop Sergius of Finland, a man of high spiritual life, then from the vicar of Moscow Tryphon, who knew me personally, because he believed the beginning of monastic life with us, and from another high priest; and they all unanimously, although at different times, advise me to submit to the will of the Holy One. Synod as the voice of God, and so I obey and go. There are learned officers called officers of the General Staff. They don’t have to sit in one place for a long time; As soon as they get settled, you see, they receive a new assignment, and they have to move from Samara to Odessa, from Odessa to St. Petersburg, and from there to the Far East, etc. Monks are also a kind of officers of the General Staff, only they do not serve the earthly king, but constitute the army of the King of Heaven. We seek not the imams of the city that is here, but the one to come 260. Therefore, a monk should not attach his soul to anything, remembering that everything on earth is vain, fleeting and perishable. When I made a trip to Manchuria and returned back to Optina Pustyn, it seemed to me that I would no longer have to leave the Skete, and I would end the days of my life here, but it happened differently. I have already told you many times and I repeat again that you do not need to believe dreams, since it is difficult for us to discern which dream is blessed and which is from the enemy; The enemy is laying nets everywhere to catch the unwary. Saint John Climacus says: “Believe only such a dream that announces to you eternal torment for your sins, but if such dreams become more frequent, then do not believe them either: it means that the enemy wants to bring despondency to you, and, perhaps, despair” 261. However, the Holy Fathers also say that there are dreams of grace that justify themselves. I remember, when I had not even thought about monasticism, in 1883, on September 17, I saw a wonderful dream. It seemed to me that I was in some kind of large room, and in front of me was a huge clock with a large pendulum, similar to those that were in the old days at post stations. Some old man is near me and, pointing his hand at his watch, asks: “He asks me a second time: - What time is it? - and then a third time. “It’s half past seven,” I say with a hint of irritation in my voice, and he answers: - In three years, on this day and month, you will die. I woke up. I quickly got dressed and looked at my watch: it was 35 minutes past six. I spent about five minutes getting dressed, therefore the dream coincided with reality. It made a strong impression on me, and I told it to some of my close comrades. They all admitted that the dream was special and that it might literally come true. They advised me to write it down. “We must prepare for the transition to another world,” they tell me. My God! Three years - what a short time to prepare, we must start! But how, why, I absolutely don’t know. One monk I know advised: “Start gradually weaning yourself from everything that ties you to this life, keep fasts, go to church more often, pray more.” I began to do this as best I could, gradually moving away from the pleasures of this world. It was especially difficult to give up music - I loved serious music, and opera in particular. But, realizing that opera, even good opera, includes a passionate element that touches passions in general, I stopped going to the theater. I was advised to attend spiritual concerts, to replace secular music with spiritual music. But the more I sought consolation in God, the paler the former consolations became. Three paths lay before me, and I didn’t know which one to decide on. One is to remain single and live piously in the world, another is to get married, the third is to go to a monastery. This last path seemed unclear to me, like a foggy blur. My soul was worried, not knowing which path to choose. One monk reassured me: “Why are you all worried? Leave everything to the will of God. The Lord Himself will guide you.” Then I completely relied on the will of God and calmed down somewhat. Three years passed, September 12th arrived, I went to the Raifa Hermitage, talked there, and talked well. During confession, I told my confessor about my dream. “I don’t know what to answer to this,” said the confessor, “perhaps the dream will come true literally, and you will die on this day, but perhaps it also has another meaning, a spiritual one, which you and I do not understand now.” September 17th arrived. I received the Holy Mysteries and remained alive. The dream did not literally come true, but I began to live my life no longer as before, it was of great importance for my entire subsequent life, a turning point began with it, and I, as they say, turned my course to the east 262. Another three years passed, and I realized that I couldn’t stay like this, but that I had to enter a monastery. But how, in what way? And again the familiar monk reassured me, advising me to surrender entirely to the guidance of God, who Himself will show everything. And so it happened. One day, by accident, as they say in the world (although for a believer nothing is accidental), but, of course, by the inscrutable providence of God, I read in the magazine “Faith and Reason” that there is Optina Pustyn in the Kaluga province, and there is the great elder Fr. Ambrose, to whom crowds of people flock from all over Russia to resolve pressing issues. “Oh, here it is - eureka, I found it! I’ll go to him, and he’ll show me which path to take.” I took a vacation and went. Father Ambrose accepted me. I peer into his features: is this the old man I saw in my dream? It is somewhat similar, but it is impossible to say with certainty that it is. I also told my dream. Father looked at me shrewdly. After listening, he smiled and remarked: “No, you misunderstood him, this dream has a different meaning, not a literal one, you will see that. Go ahead and join a monastery, not now, but after some time.” With this I left. Two years later I come to Fr. Ambrose again, morally tormented, physically exhausted. The Lord, in His mercy, sent me a serious illness at this time. Father Ambrose was already in Shamordin. I appeared before him - he was still the same. “Now is the time to act. Go, arrange your affairs, resign and come straight to us in Skete,” said Fr. Ambrose. It was September 13, the day of the renewal of the Jerusalem Temple. So I entered the Skete, where I lived for twenty years, and suddenly my appointment came. It was hard for me. But from Maundy Thursday to Friday I see a terrible dream... On this day I served the all-night vigil - I love this service. I remember reading the 12 Gospels, it seemed to me that everything in them related to my present situation, because the Gospel is applicable to every Christian soul. When I began to read the first Gospel, that is, the entire farewell conversation of the Lord with the disciples, and reached the place: Children, I will not be with you long 263 - my voice trembled, but I restrained myself, we are not supposed to cry; and behind me stood Skeet, with whom I must part. Next, the Lord encourages the disciples: Let not your heart be troubled: believe in God and believe in Me. In My Father's house there are many abodes, and if not, I would tell you. I am going to prepare a place for you. And if I prepare a place for you, I will come again and take you to Myself 264. And everything that followed in the Gospel had such a strong effect on the soul. I don’t know whether under the impression of this reading or something else, I have a dream that I am in the Kazan Cathedral, where I was tonsured into the mantle. I am standing at the icon of the Mother of God; there is no one. Two people arrive - it’s difficult to say who they were, but they carry all the schematic vestments. I know it 265. Approaching me, they begin to put on these clothes in order, as they should, and then lay on the frame something large that they had in their hands, but does not belong to the schematic attire. I woke up. It’s a strange dream, I think, I don’t understand its meaning. I told it here alone. They explained to me that this dream means great sorrow. And really, what should I expect at my new appointment?.. And the schema is not some kind of suit, put it on and you’re ready; schematic clothes need to be suffered and justified. If someone buys an elegant suit for himself, he must pay dearly for it, much less for the schema. Only for ordinary clothes they pay with money, and for schematic clothes - with great sorrows! I don’t have any good deeds in reserve, nor any heroic deeds. In the morning I take care of the monastery's affairs, and from two o'clock I open the doors here and, as you yourself know, this happens every day until the evening. How can one justify the schema? Only sorrows. We must be crucified for the world, according to the words of the Apostle: Peace will be crucified to me, and to the world 266 So, to gain the right to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, you need a cross, you need a crucifixion. If you read the Gospel, you will see everywhere the mysterious number four, signifying the Cross, since the Cross consists of four ends. This number four is repeated in the Gospel of the Paralytic: he was carried by four people. Who is this paralytic? This is every Christian soul infected with sin, but coming to Christ for healing. The Savior says about Himself: And they will mock Him, and hurt Him, and spit on Him, and kill Him, - and then adds, - and on the third day He will rise again 267. Every Christian who steadily follows Christ along the path of His commandments, in order to conquer the Kingdom of Heaven, must go through these four stages: “And they will mock Him, and hurt Him, and spit on Him, and kill Him.” If any of you were asked, “Do you love Christ?” – then everyone will probably answer: I love you. But he will add: is it not possible to love Christ, but not suffer, not torment, but live calmly? No. This is unthinkable, since the enemy will not leave people who work for the Lord alone. Love for Christ is a great gift that must be suffered; without suffering it is impossible to acquire this love. We must endure everything, suffer everything; Believe me, you won’t lose, but what will you win? - Kingdom of Heaven. When the disciples asked the Lord how to reach the Kingdom of Heaven, He answered: And even as I go, I know, and I know the way 268. The Lord teaches: Let not your heart be troubled: believe in God and believe in Me 269. Therefore, the direct path to Heaven is unshakable faith; Our Orthodox Church points to this path. Life also gives you difficult tasks, but do not be embarrassed, you are on the true path, you have nothing to fear. Life itself is simple, and at the same time extremely complex. Apparently these two concepts are incompatible. But there is no contradiction. It is simple for those who entrust themselves entirely to the guidance of God, no longer worrying about anything; for those who philosophize in the matter of salvation, inventing special feats for themselves, special deeds, it is extremely complex. Each of you has your own cross, but let no one think that her cross is heavier than that of others; Perhaps the one who thinks so is mistaken and bears a lighter cross. And before you lie different paths, some monastic, but not everyone is able to go to the monastery; those who do not have this desire do not need to force themselves. There is an expression: “White clothes do not destroy, and black clothes by themselves do not save.” You can be saved in the world, just do not forget the Lord and keep His commandments according to your strength. The main thing is to value the Orthodox faith and do not exchange it for any treasures of this world. We must work for the Kingdom of Heaven. They told me about a young man: one day his comrades came to him and asked how he thought he would spend the evening. He replied: “I haven’t decided yet, maybe I’ll go to the theater, otherwise I’ll go on a visit.” - “Let's go to the circus.” He agreed. It seems that this circumstance was an inconspicuous touch in his life, but it then had a huge sign for his entire fate. They arrived at the circus - there, of course, there are no Angels there, and if there are, then they are not Angels of light, but the opposite ones, they are the ones who strive to destroy people everywhere. That's what happened here too. He liked one rider, they met and fell in love with each other, but only the rider announced that she loved her art more than him and would never give up the circus. The young man was distinguished by his enormous wealth and was ready to do anything for the one he loved so much. And so began a life full of torment and anxiety for him. The young man began to follow the circus everywhere, he arranged balls after balls for her, showered her with flowers, threw diamonds at her feet. She became his idol, and he worshiped her alone instead of God. No matter how great his wealth was, the young man finally went broke, began to live in poverty and no longer had the means to go after her. Then, of course, she left him. But if only he managed to get or earn a little money, he immediately sought to spend it on her. I don’t know how he ended his life, but I think it wasn’t good. How much torment this man voluntarily endured. Insults, no matter what labors he took upon himself in order to please his beloved—should we not take upon ourselves at least small labors for the Kingdom of Heaven? Even if you are lazy, don’t do everything, stumble, but don’t be afraid of anything - God will forgive - just hold firmly to the faith, our Orthodox faith. Let them laugh at you, point out the imaginary imperfections of your faith, don’t pay attention. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I beg you: stand firm and do not enter into spiritual communication with unbelievers or heretics, even if they were your close ones, relatives - and then leave them. You can only pray for them. One day one of our wanderers came to me all in tears: “What happened?” - I ask. He told me his grief: his brother had converted to the Baptists. “Now his soul is perishing, what should I do?” - he asks me. “Pray,” I answer. We prayed for him and, thank God, he returned to Orthodoxy, and although he was an uneducated man, he learned all the absurdity of Baptistism. Currently, all kinds of sects have spread greatly. The Orthodox Church has been diminished, but remains united in containing the truth. Tolstoy, Nietzsche and other countless heretics, their name is legion, lie and lie, never listen to them. All sects and heresies are recognized by the fact that each one tries to lure them into their shop, and they agree on only one thing: irreconcilable hostility towards the Orthodox Church. Now they have reached such madness that they even say: Buddhism is higher than Christianity, read such and such books, and you will see. Don't read them, because everything there is a lie! Yesterday I had students from the Theological Academy. They said that a Buddhist temple had already been erected in St. Petersburg, the Buddha idol had already been brought and was lying in customs. For now, they do not perform open idolatry, but the time will come when they will begin to make sacrifices to idols, as in pagan times, and people will prostrate themselves before the statue as before God. I won’t live to see that time, but the younger of you will live to see it. But don't be embarrassed. The Lord will not leave you. Foreseeing this difficult time, Christ warned us in the Gospel - they will say to you: Behold, here is Christ, or else: do not have faith. False Christs and false prophets will arise 270 - and how many of them there are now! Hold firmly to the Orthodox faith, do not compromise your religious beliefs, despite all the ridicule. The Lord said to His disciples: You did not choose Me, but I chose you 271 - so you yourself did not choose the Lord, but the Lord chose your souls. If He chose, then He will save, “with the message of destinies.” Endure whatever the Lord pleases to send you. Students come from distant countries to study and, in order to graduate, endure all kinds of hardships and hardships in the hope that they will then get a place to feed themselves and their families; and a Christian is the same student, and he must endure all sorrows and hardships, work to get a place in the Kingdom of Heaven. Don't go into heavy reading, it's not helpful at all. Read little, but with understanding. The most instructive reading is the Lives of the Saints; no theoretical knowledge is given here, but how many wonderful living examples you will find there, you will see in what ways these people were saved and how they pleased God. Let the saints be your mentors, do not have other teachers, so as not to be troubled in spirit, especially those who try to distract from the Orthodox Church, run away from such mentors. Many have now moved away and are moving away from Christ the Savior, and the number of Christ’s disciples is ever decreasing. Foreseeing this time, the Lord Himself said that when He comes, He will hardly find faith on earth 272. In Russia we have over 120 million inhabitants; If we take away from this number the infidels - Mohammedans, Jews, Catholics, pagans, etc., even if only half - there will still be 60 million Orthodox. This is according to statistics, but out of these 60 million, how many are truly Orthodox, and not just in name - this is a secret known only to the Lord. When I was in Manchuria, I got to know many people of other faiths there, many of them were good people; I often talked with them, they listened willingly, the Lutherans especially loved me, perhaps because they are less fanatical. It was not possible to connect anyone to Orthodoxy, and I had a different goal - to console and admonish the wounded. But perhaps the Lord opened their hearts and joined them to the one true Orthodox Catholic Catholic Church, outside of which it is impossible to be saved. Today is the feast of St. Archangel Gabriel. In the Orthodox Church, after a major holiday, there is always a celebration for the person who served this holiday. Archangel Gabriel preached the good news of the Virgin’s conception, which is why after the Annunciation we celebrate the Council of the Archangel of God. The holiday on January 7th is the Cathedral of John the Baptist, who celebrated the Epiphany of the Lord, which is celebrated on January 6th. It is not customary in the world to celebrate these days, but I advise you to honor them: go to early mass, and if time does not allow, then at least go to the Church of God, venerate the icons, light a candle, give a prosphora to the proskomedia - and the Lord will accept this small thing as great. The other day Father Theodosius 273 came to me and said: – And your spiritual children prayed for you. - Yes, they always pray for me. – No, on Holy Thursday they asked to serve a prayer service with an akathist in the church of St. Mary of Egypt. Didn't you feel anything, father? “I remember at that time I felt that my soul had definitely brightened up. I ask you, my children: remember me in your holy prayers, especially in this difficult time. When you are in church, remember me during the proskomedia. “Help, Lord, our spiritual father, Abbot Barsanuphius,” - I, too, as always, will pray for you, and then communication between us will not stop. Perhaps this is my last conversation with you, and therefore I am trying to teach and remind you of what I have often spoken about, which is necessary for the salvation of your souls. Firmly believe in God and value this faith, fulfill all the statutes of the Holy Orthodox Church to the best of your ability, do not have friendship with heretics - and the Lord will not leave you. We are going through difficult times now; vice is thriving everywhere. I am telling you all this not to frighten you, but on the contrary, to encourage you and put trust in the Lord in your souls. So Christ calls me to sow in a rocky field, my supply of grains is poor, but I need to sow, but they say to me: “And the grace of God?” If you throw seeds into dry, rocky soil, they will not sprout, but if you loosen a field and it is watered by rain, it will produce its fruit. May Christ God help us all. March 29, 1912 Thursday of Holy Week Don't you notice the changes in my prayer room? I take a few things from here with me 274, all the images remain, and from the paintings I will take with me only the portrait of the great elder and spiritual benefactor of my father. Anatoly and Father Fr. Ambrose, everything else will remain as it was. So the portrait of Schemamonk Boris 275 will remain here. This is a marvelous portrait, the expression on his face is wonderful, full of love and meekness. He will remain here to pray for me, a sinner. He was a serf and often said: “The old order was better, although the master suffered a lot.” - You see, oh. Boris, you got it, but you say it was better? - Yes, it was my own fault. It happened that I would go to the Kherson province, they would announce it to the police, start looking for me and return me in a staged manner. Well, of course, I’m going out. They will be severely punished. I'll get better and leave again. He left, of course, to pray, visited holy monasteries, sought Christ and found Him. “Now things have gotten worse,” continued Fr. Boris, because there is no power, everyone lives on their own. “Well, you can’t say the same about Optina,” I objected. - Of course, if everyone lived in monasteries according to their own will, then there would be complete destruction. Father Boris was unusually humble and considered himself to be the latter. He died on Easter in 1898. I came to him when he was in the hospital; Apparently, the Lord revealed to him the time of his death. – Pray for me, and ask the brethren to pray on Sunday and Monday. - Yes, all the brethren are praying for you, oh. Boris, and I, of course, will always pray for you, and not just on Sunday and Monday. Father, Boris, as if not hearing me, repeated: – Let them pray for me on Sunday and Monday. I didn't understand him. On Tuesday morning I came to visit the patient and found out that he had already died. And so the elder’s words were justified: indeed, only on Sunday and Monday it was possible to pray for him as if he were alive, and on Tuesday - for the deceased. At the hour of his death, Fr. Boris had a vision of one Shamordino schema monnitsa. Walking towards matins, she saw a glow in the east, just in the direction of Optina Pustyn. Peering into the glow, she saw a soul quickly ascending to heaven, just like St. Anthony the Great saw the ascending soul of the hermit 276. The schema-nice told about her vision, but they did not believe her. Soon a messenger from Optina arrived to Abbess Euphrosyne with the news that Schemamonk Boris had died at four o’clock in the morning. The vision happened just at this time. I’m now waiting for my former comrade in the service, and my thoughts are somehow wavering, so I can’t talk to you, as always. This comrade, although I did not ask him, worked for me, visited some members of the Holy Synod, but could not do anything. My transfer took place. I see in this the will of God acting through people. I may not be able to talk to you anymore. I took comfort in our conversations. Remember how I always had free time in the evenings at Christmas? From the second day, we had five days at our disposal, and we used this time for the glory of God. I came to you without preparation and, whatever the Lord inspired in me, I spoke for your benefit. I recently visited with students from the Theological Academy and recalled their first visit to me, the unworthy one. There were several of them, among them some hieromonks. All have a theological education, many of them speak excellent sermons. They came to me and reasoned: “What can he tell us for edification - after all, Abbot Barsanuphius does not have a theological education!” “We came to you,” the students later said, “and you asked a question to which none of us could give a proper answer. Opinions differed. And when they asked you, you gave a direct answer, which surprised everyone at first, and then everyone agreed with it. You asked: “What is life?” Then they defined this concept in two words: “Life is bliss.” At first they began to object: how is bliss when there is sorrow, illness, and trouble at every step? You said: “Life is bliss, and not only because we believe in a blessed life (eternity), but here on earth, life can be bliss if you live with Christ, fulfilling His holy commandments. If a person is not attached to earthly blessings, but relies in everything on the will of God, lives for Christ and in Christ, then life here on earth will also become bliss. Christ himself said that there are nine gates to achieve bliss.” Due to the originality of the comparison, we did not understand you and were perplexed about which gate you were talking about. You then explained to us: “Blessed is mercy, blessed is purity of heart... - they will receive the highest bliss." What I told the students, I can tell you: Christ calls everyone to bliss. Now it’s Easter, and the Royal Doors are open, but the uninitiated cannot enter them, but only priests and deacons; Anyone who wishes can enter the doors of bliss. How to enter is another matter, but you can and should enter. Currently, many live according to the flesh and do not seek spiritual joy. What do they want to achieve first? First, wealth, then fame. To achieve this, nothing is neglected. The Lord said: for the increase of iniquity, the love of many will dry up 277. Most people have wandered away from Christ. People of this century call people who do not share their views backward and impractical. According to the translation, the word “impractical” means not a thief. For example, for example, General Chernyaev: he fought against the Turks, rendered many services to the state, he was an “impractical” person, that is, he did not grab either from the Serbian treasury or from ours, although he could have. For this, practical people condemned him, and then all sorts of troubles rained down on him. Save you. Lord, be practical people! Be always with the Lord. Christ is among us, and was, and will be. Impractical people are often reproached for imaginary pride: he is proud, they say, and this seems to them to be true. And the first Christians were accused of pride. They are brought, for example, to the hegemon, and he demands: - No, we will not worship, since we worship the One God, who created heaven and earth. Lord Jesus Christ. - You are proud! Humble yourself before the gods! Then they are doomed to torture. Here the hegemon demands humility, but false humility; to fulfill his desire means to renounce Christ, which, of course, is impossible to fulfill. And in private life they say: Humble yourself, live like everyone else, don’t be proud, don’t stand out from others. Don't listen to this advice. Some become confused, fall away from Christ and perish forever. I sometimes ask visitors: “Of course,” they answer, “both sons and daughters.” – How do you want to arrange their fate? - Yes, so: I want to see my son as an engineer, he himself has an inclination towards this, and my daughters to marry rich and noble people. - And you think they will be happy? - Certainly! - they answer with confidence, but they don’t think about how to try to get their children to gain Christ. They say everything can be bought. Yes, indeed, although not everything, a lot can be bought for money, but Christ cannot be bought for any of the treasures of the world. And without Christ there is no life, no salvation. The students were surprised how I managed to speak for everyone’s benefit. I answered them that I did not come up with what to say myself, but said what the Lord told me. What can I tell you for consolation and edification? Today I read an article that may be useful to you. There are many foreigners living in Siberia, including Buryats. They live in a patriarchal way, are kind and simple-minded, and are Buddhists by faith. One day, a certain governor-general, some high-ranking official, came to inspect the Siberian regions. He also visited the Buryats, treated them kindly and was, apparently, amazed by the huge idol of Buddha; he knelt before him and prayed with candles. On the way back, he stopped again at the ulus 278 where the Buddha’s idol was, again bowed to him and asked those Buryats with their priests and elders to gather for a conversation with him. – I have a big request for you, will you fulfill it? - We will certainly do it, Your Excellency! You respect our Buddha so much that we consider you ours. - Yes, I am a Buddhist, and this is my request to you: give me your Buddha for a while, I will take him home to the Irkutsk province, to my family, so that they all bow to him. And I will build an idol for him, and then come for him, I will give him to you. – We have a fake Buddha, he will replace the real one for now. They put it in a box, and the general set off. A month, two, a whole year passes. The Buryats miss their god: why doesn’t His Excellency return Buddha? We wrote to him, but there was no response. They wrote another time, he answered evasively. The elders went to Irkutsk, it turned out that His Excellency had transferred to St. Petersburg and took God with him. The Buryats grieved and grieved, but what to do? But did the general really believe in the idol? Not at all! The casket simply opened: the Buddha was made of pure gold and cost more than a million. He worshiped not Buddha, but gold, and used a satanic trick: he made a sacrifice to gold. He ordered the idol to be broken into pieces and poured into the mint. He renounced Christ and worshiped gold, that golden calf, which foolish people had previously worshiped and now worship. May the Lord protect you from this! The other day I’m leaving for a place completely unknown to me; I only know that God is everywhere. Of course, I won’t find such fathers and brothers as here; there will be a few, but for everyone to be in the same direction, looking only for Christ, I doubt that. Life is getting weaker. The monastery, they say, is poor, but that doesn’t bother me. The Lord will send, and we will not be in need. When I took over from Fr. Joseph 279, he handed me 100 rubles of money, of which he ordered me to pay 54 rubles to one Kozel merchant, from whom he took fish and other supplies for Skete. Consequently, only 46 rubles remained for the maintenance of the Skete. At first the thought came to my mind: how will I support Skeet with such funds? But then I calmed down, trusting in the will of God. After all, the Skete is not mine, but John the Baptist’s, it will feed us, why should I be embarrassed? And indeed, John the Baptist did not leave the Skete; at present it is quite prosperous. We didn't need anything. Donations poured in. In the Skete, our food is simple, but tasty and nutritious, there is plenty of everything. I don’t know how it is spiritually, but externally everything is fine. I asked, as a mercy, permission to leave the eldership, and the abbot, and the clergy; they would only allow me to retire to my silent cell to mourn my sins. But I did not receive permission and completely obey the decision of the Holy Synod. I don’t know who will be the abbot and elder here; I believe that the Lord will send, and perhaps someone more worthy than I, a sinner. I do not forbid you to come to Optina, and if you want to see how the sinful Barsanuphius lives, then look into Golutvin. I don’t bless you to accompany me to the monastery, it’s inconvenient, so as not to give rise to all sorts of stories, but when I get settled. God bless you if you wish. May the Lord save us all. Amen. April 2, 1912 (on the way from Skete to a farewell prayer service) When I came to Skete, all the trees here in the forest were giants, but now many have already been cut down - so they will cut us down too. I remember, back in Kazan, I was once walking with a monk I knew, and on the way lay a bazaar, the noisiest place. Father Afanasy, that was the monk's name, smiled, looking at the merchants. I asked the reason for his smile. “But of course,” he answered, “here people are worried, fussing, fussing, but a hundred years will pass and none of them will be there; you see, there is a baby there - and that will not happen. – Yes, it’s true, but it’s good that you laughed at the world, while others cannot renounce everything; So I, for example, must take care of earthly things, not only about myself, but also about my relatives: I have a mother, a brother. – Well, that’s doubtful, I don’t think about it. “You will be a monk,” Fr. said confidently. Afanasy. And, as you see, his word was fulfilled; although he was an ordinary person, the Lord inspired him to tell me this. We just met the monk Hesychius. He is from Little Russians. Suddenly he got ready and went to the monastery. One day he is going somewhere; the mother asks: “Where?” “To church,” he answers. The mother’s heart ached; she had a presentiment that her son was leaving his parents’ home forever. “No, you’re not going to church,” she says. The son got ready, went out onto the porch, then bowed low to his mother and left. He came to Optina Pustyn and lived here for 20 years, but no one knew where he was. Now he is asking to go to Kyiv. Why does he need to go there? His father and mother had already died, what should he do in a ruined corner? There is no way for him to go there. Amen. April 2, 1912, on the day of Father Barsanuphius’s departure from Optina Pustyn (after the speech of Archimandrite Xenophon) 280 Everything that the most honorable father, our sacred Archimandrite Xenophon, now spoke about, about the labors that I had to endure, I do not attribute to my own strength, but to the grace of God, “healing the weak” and “replenishing the impoverished” 281 . According to your holy prayers, most honorable Fr. archimandrite, and all the brethren, one and all, the Lord helped me. Otherwise, with my weak strength, I could not do anything. Most honorable fathers and brothers, and my spiritual children, I tried to love you. How much the Lord helped me to fulfill this, I cannot judge, but Christ accepts the intention - my desire was always to love you. From the Lord, a person’s feet are straightened, and his ways will greatly delight 282,” said Fr. archimandrite, and his words are true. Although I received the news of my appointment with sorrow in my heart - it’s hard for me to part with everything that is dear to me - but I hope that the Lord will not leave me there either. I did not think that I would have to leave here, but I accept the decision of the Holy Synod as the will of God, remembering the words of the Apostle: We do not seek the imams of the city that abides here, but the one to come 283 . I ask for your holy prayers for me, unworthy. Amen. Conversations at the Staro-Golutvin Monastery I’m not used to Golutvin yet; however, you need to get used to everything. So the service is not the same as in Optina. In the Skete, for example, during the service I felt at home; in the monastery I already felt some constraint: the singing was not the same, and the order was different; but here everything is completely new. So these large rooms remind me of a more secular environment than a monastic one. When I was in the world, I actually had large, beautifully furnished rooms. I didn’t like luxury, but I loved comfort. There, in Optina, the rooms were tiny, but it was nice both outside and inside. I can’t say this about the current state. These paintings that you see were already hanging when I arrived, and this furniture was standing. Some of the icons hanging are from here: for example, here is an image of the Crucifixion, very old, worth, they say, 300 rubles, painted by a good artist; below is the position of Christ in the tomb, also a local icon. I brought with me the icons of the Savior and Saint Joasaph; the last one was written by one ascetic and sent with E.A., and the first one was given to me by the Seleznevs, an engineer and his wife. It was probably on her initiative that the icon was painted in the ancient style. I love these. Nadezhda Selezneva, when she was still a girl, served, it seems, as a paramedic in Kazan, and so she came to me with her own little money. “I heard,” she said, “that you are also from Kazan, and that’s why I came to you.” “I stayed with you in Optina, got ready, and received Holy Communion. - You need to get married. - Who will take me, I have no money. “God will send it, and they’ll take it without money.” - And she’s all her own. And so the Lord sent a groom: handsome in appearance and with means, has a wonderful place. They met in church: he looked at her, she looked at him - and fell in love with each other. Now they live happily, thank God! It’s not convenient for me to receive visitors yet. There is no separate room, the monks have to pass through the same room: but maybe the treasurer will leave soon, then I will set up a reception room in the room he occupies. This treasurer is a terrible person, he doesn’t want to recognize anyone, he’s a complete tyrant. I have already removed him from business, so he wants to be transferred to another monastery - good riddance. However, besides him, the monks here are good, I am not worthy of such monks. Save them, Lord. I find that they are no different from the Optina ones - one spirit, one desire for God, and therefore I would call the Staro-Golutvin Monastery a branch of Optina. The whole brotherhood is 50 people. There are 10 people serving with me, of which there are 5 hieromonks and 4 hierodeacons; then 6 manateans and 10 ryasophores, the rest are novices. But these people are fickle; today they are here, but tomorrow they are gone. However, even from them, although from some, monks are subsequently formed. Yes, I didn’t think I’d get here! I planned to stay in Optina with the children for another two or three years, and then go to a silent cell, not to consider the sins of others, but to mourn my own, in order to prepare for the transition to eternity. And suddenly they threw me out of Optina, and I found myself among the rumors and bustle in Golutvin. Of course, where can you escape here: there is vanity everywhere, you can’t get solitude, either internal or external, it seems to be worth its weight in gold. There is cramped conditions and sorrow everywhere. However, sorrows about the Lord also bring with them joys; they go, so to speak, parallel to each other, even closely connected with each other. Just as the sufferings of Christ in us abound, so too does our consolation abound. The world is even more crowded, there is great disorder there. One mother complains to me: her husband is German, a Lutheran, and mocks religion; The son is an unbeliever, still a boy, but no longer goes to church, what should I do? There is a Russian proverb: what you laugh at, you work at. The ways of God are inscrutable: perhaps the Lord will also turn them to Himself. Of all the nations, I consider the Slavic and Germanic to be the most vital. The same cannot be said about the Romanesque. “German” and “atheist” are somehow incompatible concepts. There is faith in the German soul. Actually, as Tertullian, the teacher of the Church, says, every soul, whether Chinese, Japanese, or any savage, is a Christian by nature. It has special strings, you just need to be able to touch them, and the soul will turn to Christ. The fact that the son does not go to church can also be fixed. Just tell him, I say, that he needs to go to church. A word, although simple, but spoken from the heart, has a strong influence on a person, and smart words, but not spoken from the heart, are worth nothing. It's the same as standing near a window and blowing into the window against the wind: what's the benefit? The mother's words have creative power, since they, of course, come from the very depths of the heart; The word of the spiritual father also has great power. I advised the mother to bring her son to me. “I’ll ask him,” I tell her, “why don’t you, Volodenka, go to church?” He will probably refer to some authority, or maybe he will think about it and change. I don’t know how I’ll manage to get a job here. Of course, nothing happens without the will of God. The abbot of the local monastery is St. Sergius, and his staff is in the church. It is often pointed out to me that my birthday, July 5, is precisely the memory of St. Sergius. Maybe he called me here. God save the Most Reverend Tryphon: if it weren’t for him, I would still be living in Moscow, waiting for initiation. He gave me a place with his clerk (also a noble-hearted man), but, of course, it’s too embarrassing for me to live there for a long time, and I’m embarrassed for them too. The Right Reverend himself went to the Metropolitan and interceded for me, and I was ordained an archimandrite. A person knows nothing about himself. Saint John Chrysostom 285 was the archbishop of Constantinople, and suddenly they took him and transferred him to Comana. Everything is God's will. The Lord is everywhere. Thank God for everything! Amen. After mass, Father preached a sermon about Paradise, it begins like this: “Why does a child cry at birth, leaving the mother’s womb? Why does a person cry when dying? About Paradise - it can be improved, but it is impossible to comprehend. We endure sorrow and suffering here because we were not created for this life." May 19, 1912 (on the eve of the feast of St. Alexy, Metropolitan of Moscow) This was a long time ago, in the sixth century, that is, more than five hundred years have passed since the birth of Christ. Two most educated men 286 and, moreover, deeply religious, decided to travel around the world and visit all the monasteries that existed at that time in order to learn and record special cases of God’s mercy and grace for the edification of themselves and people. Nowadays, unfortunately, secular education and deep faith are often not combined: it often happens that secular educated people are unbelievers and lead vicious lives. But with these men it was different. Education did not remove them, but brought them closer to God. They completed their journey and compiled a book entitled “The Spiritual Meadow” 287. In the summer, people tend to leave stuffy cities to breathe fresh air - some for a week, others for a month, and the wealthier ones leave for the whole summer. Just as nature has a refreshing effect on a person, so this book refreshes a person spiritually. It is published in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, and the price is expensive - about two rubles. But it costs more. It talks about a nun who retired to the desert so as not to be a temptation for the young man who fell in love with her. She lives there for eighteen years, eating soaked beans that she took from the city. About a husband and wife who gave fifty coins to the Christian God, and then received six times as much back... Nowadays it happens, and quite often, that a husband seduces his wife into unbelief, a wife seduces her husband, and they go into shtunda, into Tolstoyism 288 and perish irrevocably. But it doesn't have to be that way. We must pray for each other: husband for his wife, wife for her husband, father for his children, etc., so that the Lord does not allow anyone to perish, but to remain in the bosom of the Orthodox Church. Amen. On Thursday, the 24th, Father spoke about the sign of the cross. On Saturday, the 26th - about rancor and about a harlot who gave all her property to save a man from suicide. On the 27th, Sunday, about hell, about infanticide: excommunication for 10 years from communion. Today one of my spiritual daughters asked me to sign a card. Even before the mass, I signed it, as usual: “To the God-loving servant of God such and such from the sinful Archimandrite Barsanuphius,” I wanted to set the date, but first I opened the Gospel... In general, I rarely do this and do not advise others, since it resembles fortune telling, but today it happened that I opened the Gospel, and the 4th chapter of Mark 35th verse came out: Let us cross to the other side. I wrote these words, and then set the date. Walking to mass, I wondered what these words would mean: “Let’s cross to the other side.” As you know, I have already told you that the Gospel has a double meaning: one is historical, the other is deeply mysterious, relating to every Christian soul. So it is here. The Lord said the words “Let us cross to the other side” to His disciples under the following circumstances: Christ and the apostles were on the western shore of Lake Gennesaret; Anyone who has not completely forgotten geography knows that this lake is located in Asia, in Palestine, located near the Mediterranean Sea. Christ said: “Let us cross to the other side,” and the disciples, taking Jesus with them, swam. They were already in the middle of the lake when a strong storm arose. The waves flooded the boat, and Christ slept at the stern. The disciples began to wake up the Teacher in fear: “Lord, Lord, wake up, we are perishing!” And, rebelling. The Lord rebuked the wind, and there was great silence. This is what the Gospel says about this event. But there is another meaning to this story. Every soul seeks bliss, strives for it. But a sinful life does not give a person true joy; on the contrary, it brings with it melancholy and disappointment, and the voice of God is heard in the soul: “Let us cross to the other side,” that is, calling to begin a new life in Christ. The soul languishes and finds no consolation anywhere. She turns to her family, but they don’t understand her either: “You need to have fun, let’s go to the theater; We’ve already taken the box.” Acquaintances also offer various kinds of entertainment, but all this is not able to console the soul seeking God. Who should I go to? Tell everything to the priest? But it’s embarrassing to go to his house, and it’s difficult to talk to him in church. Of course, you can come to confession; but each priest has a mass of confessors; during Lent there are up to two thousand or more; where can he find time for more conversation? But then the Lord sends a leader to the searching soul in the person of a friend or confessor; she can now use them to cross to the other side. When the disciples got into the boat, they took Jesus with them. Likewise, when sailing on the sea of ​​life, it is necessary to be with the Lord. It is remarkable that Christ was on the western side and swam to the east - and every Christian soul strives to the east, to the Heavenly Jerusalem. But the enemy does not leave a person. Here a strong storm arises - a storm of passions and sorrows. It’s unbearably hard, but the Lord seems to have forgotten and is sleeping. "God! God! Save me, I’m dying!” - the soul must cry out, and the Lord, perhaps not soon, but will still hear it, and when He enters the soul, there will be great silence, passions will fall silent and peace and joy will reign. They often come to me with questions: “How to be saved, how to receive the Kingdom of Heaven?” The Gospel says: If you have not suffered the Flesh of the Son of Man, nor have you drunk His Blood, you have no life in yourself, 289 therefore, whoever accepts the Most Pure Body and Blood of Christ receives a guarantee of eternal life. To be saved you must be a member of the Orthodox Church. Currently, many sects have broken up: all the sects are at enmity with each other and only agree on one thing - irreconcilable hostility towards the Orthodox Church, in the desire to arrange some kind of dirty trick for it. The harmful sect of Baptists has now especially spread, kidnapping many people from the bosom of the Orthodox Church. A woman recently came to me in great grief: her husband betrayed Orthodoxy, became a Baptist and left her with small children. I ask: - Why did he switch? For money? - No, he was a believer, he read all the books and wanted to be saved, but he met the Baptists on the mountain. They tell him: “Come over to our faith, since the truth is only on our side.” He believed them. First he stopped going to church, didn’t take communion for two years, and now he’s completely gone to the Baptists and abandoned us. What will happen to him? “He will perish,” I answer, “if he does not return to Orthodoxy.” Sometimes sectarians come to me: - So we believe in Christ and seek Him, where is He? – Firstly, He manifests His especially glorious presence in Heaven; and secondly, on earth - in the Church; are you in it? – No, we have left the Church, but we still hope to be saved. - Well, your hope is vain; salvation is impossible outside the Church. People who are in the Orthodox Church are directed to the Heavenly Jerusalem, that is, to the Kingdom of Heaven, along the right path; they sail on the sea of ​​life in a boat where the helmsman is Christ Himself; those who are outside the Church strive to cross this sea on one board, which, of course, is impossible; and perish irrevocably. The Lord is infinitely good. The sacrifice made on Calvary is so infinitely great that the sins of the whole world are “like nothing” in comparison with this sacrifice. It's the same as if someone took a handful or a handful of sand and threw it into the sea. Would it get cloudy? Of course not, it will remain unperturbed as before. But even this handful can destroy us if we do not consider ourselves sinners and do not repent before the Lord. Communion of the Holy Mysteries burns away all sins; why, especially among ordinary people, are they always asked: did the sick person receive communion before his death? If they find out that the deceased has been honored with Holy Communion, they joyfully exclaim: “Glory to Thee, Lord!” Once, when I was still a novice, I left my silent cell on a warm July night. There was no moon, but countless stars shone in the dark sky. I loved to walk along the secluded alley of the hermitage garden at this late time, so that, being left alone with God, I could break away from everything worldly. I approach a large pond and suddenly I see one of our schema-monks, Fr. Gennady 290, who has spent 62 years in Skete. In recent years, he had not stepped outside the monastery gates at all and forgot about the world. He stands motionless and looks at the water. I called out to him quietly so as not to frighten him with my sudden appearance. I approached him: - What are you doing here, father? “But I’m looking at the water,” he answers. - Don’t you see anything? – in turn asked Fr. Gennady. “Nothing,” I answered, “water and water.” “And I,” said the schema-monk, “contemplate the wisdom of God.” I’m semi-literate, I just learned to read the Psalter, and the Lord proclaims His will to me, a wretched one; and I marvel: often learned people do not know the simplest things about faith. You see, all this starry sky is reflected in the water. So the Lord dwells in a pure heart - therefore, what bliss should be felt by souls who have acquired purity! Blessed are those who are pure in heart, for they will see God 291. “Here I am, no matter how hard I try, I cannot achieve spiritual purity, although I know how important it is. – Do you understand what purity of heart is? – asked Fr. Gennady. “I don’t know from experience, since I don’t have it,” I answered, “but I think that purity lies in complete dispassion: whoever has neither envy, nor anger, nor any other passion, has a pure heart.” “No, that’s not enough,” the schema-monk objected, “it’s not enough just to rinse the vessel, you need to fill it with more water; To eradicate passions, one must replace them with opposite virtues; without this, the heart will not be cleansed. – And you hope to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, oh. Gennady? “I hope I’ll be there,” he said confidently. - So how? After all, you yourself say that you do not have spiritual purity, but only those who are pure in heart will see God? – What about God’s mercy? It will make up for everything that is missing. It is limitless, and I have firm hope that the Lord will not reject me either,” said the schema-monk, and in his words one could hear deep faith and sincere hope in God’s mercy. But we are not able to imagine what the Kingdom of Heaven is; we can receive Paradise, but we cannot comprehend it. The Apostle Paul, who was caught up to the third heaven, only says that eye cannot see, and ear cannot hear... what God has prepared for those who love Him 292. One ascetic lived in our Skete, Fr. Ignatius 293, a very 90-year-old old man. He led a very high life, but he was so good at hiding it from people that very few knew about it. When Father Fr. died. Anatoly, I sometimes visited Fr. Ignatius and left him joyful and full of new strength. Once I asked him (and then I was a beginner and sometimes asked downright ridiculous questions), had he ever seen Paradise? – What do you need to know? - said the old man. – Yes, I would very much like to, since Paradise appears in different forms. “Well, for your love I’ll say: I saw it – not me, but one ascetic (he said his name). You see how it was: one day he fell asleep and saw a sea of ​​an unusually beautiful color, which he had never seen before. On the other side rises a magnificent city, where palaces and churches stand in rows. “I enter,” he says, “into the city and cannot be amazed at its indescribable beauty. These magnificent palaces are inhabited, and their inhabitants are so beautiful and filled with great joy. They met me, and I walked with them throughout the city, all the time marveling at its greatness. I began to ask to be left there completely, but they objected to me that now it was still impossible, but a home was prepared for me here too. I asked to see it. They showed me a palace of extraordinary beauty; I can’t even describe what it was like. “This is your eternal home,” they told me, “but for now, live in the monastery of Optina Pustyn, in your cell,” and I cried with emotion, contemplating my future home. “Lord, Lord, I am not worthy of this, why are You so infinitely merciful? I would like at least in some corner of this wondrous city...” and woke up. I open my eyes, I see: the whole pillow is soaked with tears, and again I am in my cell, the same image of the Kazan Mother of God hanging in the corner, the same poor furnishings, the chair on which you are sitting and from which the washcloth is visible - everything is the same. And, remembering what I saw in a dream, I glorified the goodness of God, which has mercy and saves us sinners.” May the Lord vouchsafe all of us to enter His Kingdom. Amen. Today is my birthday. Of course, there is nothing remarkable here, everyone is born, but I was born very weak, they thought I would die now. They sent for the priest Fr. Alexy, they immersed me in water three times, and I became completely healthy. Actually, they should have called me Sergius, but for some reason they called me Paul, in the name of the Apostle Paul, whose memory was already celebrated earlier. This, of course, also had its significance, but I didn’t think about it before, but now I would like to find out, but there is no one to ask. (...) 294 They transferred me to the monastery of St. Sergius, and again crosses - gold, silver, but still crosses. Finally, I receive the painting “The Descent from the Cross,” but when this will happen is unknown. Yes, nothing happens without meaning. When I was little, I loved to give everything to the priest, and they often told me: “You should be a priest.” That's it. We lived in a village, and sometimes our father, Fr. Alexy is already an old man, a man of ancient times. One day he came to us and said to my father: - Why don’t you let Pavlusha into the altar? - It’s like walking into an altar, it’s uncomfortable... - No, let him stand in the altar, and I myself will give him the prosphora. From then on, from the age of five until I was sent to the gymnasium, I stood at the altar, and the priest from the throne gave me an antidoron. That's when there was still an omen that I would become a priest. My mother and I went to Matins every day, and my father used to say more than once: “Why are you dragging him around so early, he’s small, he’ll get tired.” But the mother always answered this: - I wish him well. You entrusted me with his upbringing, and therefore leave me to do as I see fit. How grateful I am now to my mother! When I entered the monastery, she was still alive, and I wrote to her: “These are the fruits of your upbringing.” And my mother seemed to have a presentiment that I would enter a monastery. “God grant you, Pavlushenka, happiness and talent,” she often said, “although I am not your own mother, I am sincerely disposed towards you and pray for you!” Apparently, she didn’t mean earthly happiness when she spoke. And now, through her holy prayers, I am now, although unworthy, a monk. When I went to Optina to enter the Skete, I had to visit Kaluga. Previously, there was no railway to Kozelsk, and from Kaluga it was necessary to ride horses. They tell me that some blessed Annushka lives in Kaluga, a seventy-year-old old woman, the daughter of a priest. She has been sick for forty years (she has paralysis of her legs), covered in bedsores, but she is distinguished by the holiness of her life, and many visit her. “If you do not disdain,” they tell me, “then go to her for a blessing.” At first I was afraid to go to her, thinking that maybe it was a demonic delusion. But spiritual people assured me that this was indeed a truly blessed soul. I went. I enter her cell: she is lying on her bed of three pieces of wood covered with felt. She was an orphan, and some old woman walked with her. Poor to the last degree, but the entire furnishings of her room were clean. As soon as I entered, the patient perked up and quickly began to undress, even began to take off her shirt: I turned away. And she says: “Give me that green caftan 295.” I handed her a caftan that was hanging on the wall. Having put it on, she began to say: “You see how beautiful I have become, how good, do you see?” This was completely incomprehensible to me... Finally, I asked her: “How will it all end for me?” She took it and wrapped her head in a caftan and sat down like that. I left her while she was still in that state. I didn’t understand anything and asked about it... I was told that it meant monasticism. And then I didn’t even think about going to the monastery. I continued on my way. Near one station, the driver suggested that I stop by the holy fool John. It was necessary to turn a little to the side, I agreed, promising to pay. They said about this holy fool that he lives with his brother, a village peasant, who ties him by a thread by the leg in the winter, and frees him in the summer, treats him roughly and beats him. His family considered him a fool, but the people respected and loved him. The peasants of that village tell the following story: during haymaking one day a holy fool came running to them. They ask him: “What do you want, Ivanushka?” He said something, laughed and ran in the direction of the Zhizdra River. In this very place there was a steep cliff and one of the deepest places in the river. They look - he’s gone. “Come on, it’ll drown!” - the men think. What to do? They run up to the river and see: John crossed the river in all his clothes to the other side, came out to the bank and said to them: “Save you, Lord,” bowed to everyone and left. I stopped the driver and entered the hut where the holy fool John lived. I was still a military man then, although not in uniform. I see him sitting on the stove in a long white shirt. I come in, and Ivanushka says: “This is not father,” thinking that he was mistaken. And Ivanushka again: Then he comes up to me and leads me to the image: the image of the large Intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos, completely new, varnished. The holy fool, turning to me, says: “The image is tarnished, it needs to be washed.” I didn't understand anything from his words. “Do you hear a dimming,” he repeated. Then he gave me a whip in my hand and said: - Oh, what a cat 296, hit her. Do you see her running after you? Well, that's it, that's it, that's it! I automatically hit the air three times, not understanding anything. He continued: - Oh, she ran away! What?! Oh, she's a cat! Then Ivanushka took my gloves and said: - Give it to God. – I thought it was strange. - Maybe you need some? - I ask. - No, I don’t need it, give it to God. - Then he took my smushka hat and said again: “Give it to God!” Then he took my coat with the same words. I, not understanding the meaning of his words, said: “If I give everything to God, then what will I go in? It’s quite far for me.” “Yes, it’s a long way for you, but you’ll get there,” the holy fool exclaimed joyfully. At this time, John's brother entered the hut. “And we have a priest,” said the holy fool. The brother explained: “He’s completely crazy about us, he probably took you for the priest who comes to us from the neighboring village.” Later I learned that the holy fool’s words had a deep meaning. If only we had a drop of his madness! Then it was 3 o'clock in the afternoon, dawn was beginning. I began to say goodbye to him. He turned to the window directly at Optina Pustyn, at the dawn, and began to look. I don’t know what he saw; of course, he didn’t tell me. But it was clear that he was seeing a wondrous vision. So I left him. When I had already entered Optina Pustyn, they explained to me the meaning of the words of Blessed Annushka and John. Taking off the garment and putting on the new means putting off the old man and putting on the new man in Christ. The words “image dimmed” had a hidden meaning: they did not refer to a material image, but to the human soul, dimmed by worldly life. In a church song it is sung about Christ that He came “to renew His image, which had been corrupted by passions” 297 . The cat and the blow of the whip meant the need to fight the dark power of evil spirits. “Give everything to God” means that the monk must lay everything at the feet of Christ, not only material things, but, most importantly, give Him his whole soul. When I asked Fr. Anatoly: “What does it mean that the holy fool called me father?” - he replied: “You will understand later.” And now I really am a priest. Truly, there is not a single insignificant case that does not matter, but often we do not understand this. May the Lord help us all to carefully spend the days of our lives, so that after death we can enter the Kingdom of unstoppable light. Amen. The decree on my appointment to the Staro-Golutvin Monastery was issued for the first time on February 6 of this year, precisely on the day of memory of St. Barsanuphius the Great. Saint Barsanuphius, whose name I bear, was named in honor of this Rev., and therefore Barsanuphius the Great is like a “grandfather” for me. Since my appointment took place on this very day, I see the will of God here. The Monk Barsanuphius the Great asceticised in the sixth century in the monastery of Abba Serida and was a contemporary of Abba Dorotheos, Venerable. John the Prophet and Rev. Dosithea. Such prayer books as Rev. Barsanuphius the Great, are from generation to generation. He locked himself in a cell and lived there for 50 years. First they brought him food, and also asked him for advice, and he gave written answers. However, after a few years he refused food; it is true that the Angels fed him; no one came to him, they only heard his voice and from this they concluded that the ascetic was alive. One day the Patriarch of Constantinople visited the monastery. Having learned about the extraordinary way of life of the Monk Barsanuphius, the Patriarch doubted that the ascetic could live under such conditions, and ordered his cell to be undermined. When they did this, a flame burst out and almost burned everyone present, leaving them in awe. About the death of Rev. Barsanuphius was proclaimed miraculously. On this day, i.e. February 6, the Holy Church also celebrates the memory of St. Martyr Dorothea. This saint was the daughter of rich and noble parents. Beautiful in person, she had a beautiful soul devoted to Christ the Savior. When the ruler was informed that Dorothea was confessing Christ, he called her to him and persuaded her to renounce her faith. She flatly refused. The hegemon's friend Theophilus, a learned pagan, also tried to convince Dorothea to worship the gods, but was unsuccessful. “Then I will torture you,” said the ruler. “Torment,” answered the girl. Dorothea was subjected to terrible torture, but the torment could not overcome her. Finally, seeing that nothing could be done with her, the hegemon condemned the saint to be beheading with a sword. When the martyr was led to execution, Theophilus mockingly said to her: -Where are you going, Dorothea? “To Christ in Paradise,” she answered. – And are you convinced that you will be there? “Yes,” the martyr answered firmly. “I heard,” continued Theophilus, “that in Paradise there are such and such gardens with fruits.” Send me apples from there. When Dorothea fell under the blow of the executioner, a boy of extraordinary beauty appeared with a basket of fruits, gave them to Theophilus and became invisible. Everyone was amazed. The fruits were extraordinary, the likes of which no one had ever seen on earth, and it was not the time to collect the fruits. And so, amazed by this miracle, Theophilus exclaimed: - So, all this is not a myth, that there is Christ and Paradise, which Dorothea spoke about! And Theophilus became a Christian. The grace of God turned the pagan to the true path. This same grace is still in effect today. Another has completely departed from God, only according to the list he is listed as Orthodox. He doesn’t go to church or take communion, but suddenly he hears such a calling from God and gets all fired up. He will then retain this divine fire for the rest of his life. This phenomenon also happens in our time. One Englishman named James wrote his confession in which he tells how he turned to Christ 298. He was a complete unbeliever, did not recognize either Orthodoxy or Anglicanism, and blasphemed everything. James had a friend who was Orthodox and deeply religious. One day, an Englishman was walking down the street and suddenly met his friend’s carriage. This latter ordered the horses to be stopped and taken to him. They went. But there is a chapel on the way. “I’ll come in to pray,” a friend said to James. - Come in, and I’ll wait for you here. - Yes, but you will have to wait a long time - perhaps half an hour will pass, since now they are reading an akathist to the Mother of God. - Can I come in? – asked James. They entered the chapel. James fixed his gaze on the icon of the Mother of God and suddenly fell unconscious. They took him home and brought him to his senses. Having come to his senses, James said to his friend: - Oh, if you only knew what I saw! When I looked carefully at the icon, suddenly the Mother of God Herself, as if alive, separated from the image, came up to me and placed Her omophorion on my head. I cannot tell you what unearthly joy filled my soul. I don’t know what happened to me then, it’s the same as if someone who was blind from birth, at least through an operation, had their sight restored, and he didn’t immediately understand what light is. From now on I am an Orthodox Christian. The merciful Lord looks at the soul of man. True, James laughed at everything, but, truly, deep down in his soul he believed, and this duality gave him torment. And so God had mercy on him, and the Mother of God Herself took upon herself the mission of bringing him to Christ. And here is another case that is out of the ordinary. Just today a woman told me about it. She had two sons. One is 17 years old, the other is 20. One day they fell ill with some strange disease. Their bodies were covered with blisters and swollen. Medicines did not help, and the doctor was unable to determine the disease. One of the sons died in the hospital, and the other lay at home. His mother tried to persuade him to take communion, and the priest came several times with the Holy Gifts, but the patient screamed, kicked and did not allow him to reach him. Finally, he calmed down, apparently the mother’s prayer reached God, he confessed and received Holy Communion, after which he lived for no more than half an hour and died. As soon as he died, a snake crawled out of the deceased’s mouth and immediately died. This is inexplicable! I refused to answer her. How did the snake get into it? How did she live in a person? One could say that everything is nonsense and calm down, blaming it all on hallucinations. It’s so simple, but a woman is a living person, the fact testifies, and besides her, there were godfathers and in-laws around the deceased, therefore, everyone could not have been mistaken. I ask: “Yes, there was a filthy bucket here, so we threw it there.” I don’t know why the illness occurred,” the woman concluded, only one dashing man threatened me that he would destroy my sons. Yes, there are many mysterious things that science has not reached and is unlikely to ever reach. Nowadays everyone wants to explain things without faith, but the greatest truths are learned through faith. So you are coming here and by faith you receive consolation. Will you be saved? I believe that you will be saved. Go to church, keep fasts, fast, partake of the Holy Mysteries, and then you will go to your hard work with renewed strength. First you came to Optina, and by faith you received spiritual satisfaction from these trips. There I had the opportunity to talk with you sometimes for an hour, two, and sometimes even three. Then I went to my inner cell to look into my soul, what was happening there, and you went to the monastery. I remember that after one conversation we all somehow became quiet; apparently, she made a strong impression on us, tearing us away from everything everyday. We went out into the forest, and it was a wonderful summer night. The starry sky was so majestic that it was a pity to take your eyes off it, but then I remembered that beyond this firmament, there, in Paradise, it was incomparably better. We don’t know what Paradise is, whether it is completely spiritual or whether there is something material in it, we don’t know. At the burial of the Blessed Virgin Mary, St. John the Theologian carried a branch of paradise behind the grave, which was material, and the fruits sent from Paradise by the martyr Dorothea were also not imaginary - they could be eaten, but how material things were in Paradise is the mystery of God. There are no gardens or cities in Paradise, since we too will be different, and everything earthly will no longer be needed for us. One preacher says: “Oh, desired Paradise! We can contemplate you internally, but we cannot comprehend you.” Blessed will be those who inherit eternal life. Those who do not enter Paradise will descend to hell, where eternal death reigns. And these (i.e., sinners) go into eternal torment, but the righteous into eternal life 299. Therefore, in order to inherit eternal life, you must be righteous. But how to achieve this? - By faith in Christ and confession of Him. Saint Dorothea endured all kinds of torment, but did not fall away from the Lord. And now the enemy is mounting a strong persecution against the followers of Christ. If anyone goes to church, they say he is a hypocrite; reads holy books and observes fasts - such a person will be considered ignorant and backward, and almost half-crazy. “But here,” they say, “there is one professor, a most learned man, but he goes to church and fulfills all its regulations.” They object to this: “Although he is an educated person, he is not completely normal.” This is the verdict from the people of this world! But one should not be embarrassed by such judgments; one must endure everything, endure all ridicule, but not betray Christ. And, unfortunately, there are such cowardly people, as they say, soft-bodied ones, who cannot stand it, stop going to church and praying - and fall away from Christ. Remain, children, faithful to our Savior. So you arrived in Staro-Golutvin under the protection of Venerable. Sergius, you flocked to him like birds from different parts, he knows you all well and will not leave you for your zeal for the holy monastery. Keep your lamp of faith and love for God. For Tolstoy, it broke, and he died forever. But before, he was a believer, as his wife Sofya Andreevna told me, and he went to church and took communion. On a mountain in Paris he met with one unbeliever 300, and this destroyed him. He took his new friend to Yasnaya Polyana and began to move away from the Church, he turned both right and left until he died completely. I had to talk about Tolstoy with one bishop: – After all, he undoubtedly had a desire to turn to God, otherwise he would not have come to Optina (by the way, the ever-memorable Zinovy showed my door where to go, but he did not enter) ... “It is very likely that this desire appeared to him,” said the Bishop, “but God rejected him not only for the sake of his sins, but, most importantly, for the thousands of souls he destroyed, as well as for those who may die reading his heretical writings, and will perish until the end of time.” A sad phenomenon is observed! Educated people are carried away by various false teachings - all sorts of Nietzsches, Marxes, Renans; but I especially feel sorry for the simpletons who, reading Tolstoy, become Tolstoyans and fall away from the Orthodox Church - outside of it, salvation is impossible. May the Lord protect you from all these heretics! My journey is nearing its end. I feel weak, and my energy is no longer what it was 15 years ago. There is a lot to do, and I no longer hope to calm down here; I only pray to the Lord: may He give me peace in the future life. Recently the priest of the General Staff Levashov 301 came here; he goes to many religious circles and met, among other things, with I. and B. 302, who tried to get me out of Optina. The conversation turned to how the eldership now stands in Optina and why they took Fr. Barsanuphius from the Desert, he felt good there. To this they replied that they should be thanked, since, translating Fr. Barsanuphius to Golutvin, they thereby raised this monastery. Of course, I am trying to put this monastery in order. At first it was very difficult for me here; I found the monastery in complete decline, the brethren rebelled, but now, thank God, everything is getting better, and, of course, as far as my strength is sufficient, I will carry out the holy work - the establishment of the Golutvin monastery, but I seriously doubt that those who sent me away from Optina had this in mind. But everything is in the power of God. Peace be with you. Amen. (...) The monastery is located two or three miles from Riga 303. It is difficult, of course, to be a monastery here: almost only non-believers live in this area, but still, even here the Lord does not abandon, but saves the souls that seek Him. This monastery is like an oasis in the midst of a rebellious world. Every soul has, to a greater or lesser extent, a desire for solitude, to remain within itself. Only base souls are satisfied with the glitter and crackle of a vain life and place all their pleasure in incessant conversations, laughter and all kinds of entertainment. The Lord Jesus Christ was true God, but also a man, and therefore, paying tribute to human nature, He at times retired from the surrounding noise and bustle. The Gospel says how the Lord ascends the mountain alone. For what? Pray 304. If the Lord needed solitude, then people need it even more. All saints sought solitude. Some of them left everyone and everything and went into impenetrable wilds and deserts in order to be alone with God and, cleansing their hearts of all attachments and passions, to prepare for themselves a blissful eternity. In the Middle Ages, about 300 years ago, there lived one ascetic named Luke. Entire masses of people came to him for advice, and the ascetic began to be burdened by the constant rumors. He longed for solitude, but, fearing arbitrariness, he turned to Saint Theophylact to resolve this issue. This latter gave him the following answer: “Do as Arsenius the Great 305 was taught by the Lord.” Luke understood these words, withdrew into the deepest desert, where unseen by anyone except God, and lived out the days of his life 306. So, Rev. Luke followed Arseny the Great, who achieved such purity of heart that we have no idea about. The Monk Arseny was the most educated man of his time. Emperor Theodosius gave him the position of first minister and, having appointed his sons Arcadius and Honorius as tutor, called him a friend of the emperor. Everyone paid tribute to Arseny, he possessed untold wealth, had many palaces, but still he was burdened by this life and felt dissatisfaction. One day, after a major trouble arose between him and the heir to the throne Arkady, for which the latter vowed to take revenge on Arseny, Arseny left everything and retired to one of the most remote monasteries in Egypt. Here he first lived in a communal monastery, but the enemy began to greatly confuse him: “What are you doing here, Arseny? You, who once enjoyed such fame, suddenly live like a servant - every novice can scold you. Better return to your former glory, be a friend of the emperor." In order to defeat the machinations of the enemy, the Monk Arseny shut himself up in his cell and received almost no one. When Arkady, who was already emperor at that time, learned about the whereabouts of St. Arseny, then sent him a letter and offered income from all over Egypt in favor of Arseny, but he refused: “A cup of water, a piece of bread and a few vegetables is enough for me,” he replied. Of his solitude, Rev. Arseny did not agree to exchange it for anything in the world. One day, a Roman matron (that is, a rich and noble woman) undertook a difficult journey to an Egyptian monastery in order to see Arsenius. Having crossed the Nile River, she finally reached the monastery. But Arseny greeted her very unkindly and told her: “I will pray to God that He will soon erase your image from my memory.” The upset woman returned home and told the patriarch about the insult inflicted on her. The Patriarch consoled her 307. Taking a smooth, well-polished board, he drew a thin line on it, and it was still noticeable. “Here,” said the patriarch, “Arseny’s soul is so pure that even a slight impression leaves a mark on it. It is not beneficial for him to see women, since female beauty alienates him from Christ. There are so many notches on the block on which beef is chopped that, of course, one extra one will be completely unnoticeable. Likewise, an extra meeting will not cause much harm to a soul that is always in turmoil.” Then the matron mentally reconciled with the Monk Arseny. The Monk Luke fled from everything, but this is not possible for everyone. There were saints who labored in the midst of the world, for example, the holy martyr Theodore received the people and instructed them until his very martyrdom. One student of the Theological Academy wrote to me: “I don’t know what to do. Professors give me a lot of all kinds of knowledge, but they do not calm my soul: I am looking for an ascetic mood, but there is none, and there is no peace. I long to escape somewhere from all this.” I advised him to finish the Academy first, and then we’ll see. He obeyed, graduated and now has a place in the seminary; but his dissatisfaction and languor continue, worldly life is difficult for him. All great writers were languishing in the vanity and rumors of the people. The famous English writer Walter Scott, before whom his contemporaries burned incense of praise, said: “If I were offered a choice between a life full of noise and brilliance, and prison, I would choose the latter. “Jailer, lock the doors!” - I would exclaim.” Pushkin always strived for loneliness. When he married the famous beauty Goncharova and was made a chamberlain, then, of course, many obstacles arose to a secluded life. So you, children, seem to be burdened by the world; If you came here and live here, it’s probably because you find satisfaction in your spiritual needs. There are many swallow's nests above my window. These birds have taken refuge here, nothing can be done with them, they are unclean, and it’s a shame to destroy their nests. From morning to evening they rush over the monastery. So you, like swallows, have built your own nest near St. Sergius and relax away from noisy cities - St. Petersburg, Moscow, etc. What attracted you here, just as it attracted you to Optina? Of course, the desire for privacy. You go to church here, fast, partake of the Holy Mysteries and gain mental and physical strength. Rev. knows you all. Sergius; Of course, he knew you before as living piously, but now you are here, under his protection. Our monastery was founded by him, and it happened like this. The Monk Sergius, at the inspiration of God, gave his staff to his disciple Gregory and sent him to the confluence of the Moscow River and the Oka. Gregory at first objected: “Father, there is a nest of robbers there, they will certainly kill me.” But the Reverend ordered him to go for obedience. And so, despite the temptation of the enemy, who inspired the student that he would be slaughtered like a lamb, he went. Through the prayers of the Saint, a miracle happened: the robbers turned from wolves and tigers into lambs; they all became monks, and only a few who did not agree to this went into the depths of the forests. The very name of the monastery “Golutvin” comes from the word “golytba”, which is what robbers were called. After all, the name “Optina Pustyn” also comes from the name of the robber. Once upon a time, in the forests that now surround this monastery, there lived three famous robbers: Opta and two brothers - Good and Fierce. But the Lord had mercy on them and turned them to repentance. Repenting of their atrocities, they changed and became monks, founding monasteries named after them: Optin, Dobry and Lyutov (Lyutikov), which still exist today 308. And our monastery has existed since then, protected by the Lord from enemies internal and external. There is a legend that Rev. Sergius visits our monastery, and even piously living monks saw him. I haven’t seen him personally, and even now we haven’t heard anything about the saint’s miraculous visits - we are unworthy of this, but we believe that he is with us in spirit. Monasticism has now weakened. Even 40 years ago there were such spiritual giants as Father Ambrose, Anatoly, from the white clergy - Fr. John of Kronstadt 309 , but now we don’t hear anything about such things. Maybe there is, but we don't know. And despite this, it is still easier to be saved in monasticism. I am not calling you to join a monastery: each of you has your own circle of activities. By fulfilling your duties in the Lord, you can be saved in the world. Read the Lives of the Saints - this reading will encourage you to imitate, and perhaps the Lord will break the circle that constrains you, and will lead you to the breadth of the commandments of Christ and settle you in the holy monastery. Entering a monastery is a big deal, but one of you was not afraid and entered, may the Lord help her. What's going on in the world? All sorts of heresies have proliferated, and everyone seeks to draw them into their faith: “We have only the truth, come to us,” the heretics cry. Don’t listen to them, don’t believe all the Nietzsches and Renans: they left Christ and, scary to say, they are ashamed of Him. Some people are not ashamed to bow to a dissolute woman or some drunkard, but suddenly they are ashamed of the Lord, so as not to disgrace themselves in the eyes of unbelievers! But the word of Christ remains unchanged: If anyone is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels 310. They forget these words and are ashamed to admit that they are Christians. Nowadays, not everyone has preserved icons. You will meet them in the apartments of priests, merchants, and even of old times, among peasants, among small traders, but in the houses of so-called intelligent people they do not keep icons. They say about one Tolstoyan that in the front corner of his apartment hung a portrait of Tolstoy with a lamp lit in front of him. When asked why he did this, he replied: “I bow to Tolstoy’s intelligence.” He was not ashamed of Tolstoy, but he is ashamed of Christ. And what will Christ say to this at His Last Judgment? Go from Me, curse, into eternal fire 311 - this is His sentence. The condition of sinners will be terrible! And if Christ appears now, where will He place us? I hope, on the right hand, not by works, of course, but by faith. Let us keep the faith of Christ and fulfill His holy commandments to the best of our ability. Just don’t rely on your own strengths, but ask the Lord for help: “Lord, help me!” – and it will help. Everyone knows the famous composer Mozart, His name has acquired immortality. One day, a German, also a musician, wanted to see Mozart and went to Italy. He arrived in Milan and suddenly learned the sad news: “Mozart has died.” The musician was in great grief, but they calmed him down: - The father died, but the son lives. - Okay, I’ll look at my son. They showed him where he could be seen - he worked in a bank. The musician came to him and found him sitting behind the counter. – Are you the son of the famous Mozart? – asked the German. - Nothing, I just came to look at you. - Why look at me? – Do you love music as much as your father? Have you probably already written some immortal work? – the musician continued. - None, I assure you; This is the only music I love,” and Mozart the son took a handful of ducats and threw them on the counter, “but I can’t stand any other music.” The disappointed German returned to Germany and told his assembled comrades about his visit to Mozart. Everyone thought about it, and one of the listeners said thoughtfully: “Yes, not like my father.” Indeed, the son was not like his father. Sad story! We are perhaps inclined to condemn Mozart the son, but let’s take a better look at ourselves. We are all children of the Heavenly Father and should be like Him. What actually happens? And one can often say about us: “Not like the Father!” Meanwhile, in order to reach the Kingdom of Heaven, you absolutely must be “like the Father,” otherwise you won’t be allowed there. The saints were “like the Father.” They are called venerable, that is, eminently like God; And we, sinners, should at least be like them, so as not to lose eternal life. It is difficult to be saved today: the monasteries have become poor in spiritual food and do not often give bread to those who ask; I don’t mean sensual bread - kalach or saika, but spiritual bread - the Word of God. Many souls have become coarse, and do not see with their eyes and do not hear with their ears. There is blindness and physical deafness - it is difficult to bear them, but spiritual deafness and blindness are much more terrible. May the Lord God deliver us from this. Amen. What I want to talk to you about is useful for both monastics and laity. In the book of Proverbs of Solomon, who lived before the birth of Christ, it is said: Son, guard your heart with all care 312, and also: Give Me, son, your heart 313 - these words are spoken by the Lord Himself through a wise man. The Holy Prophet David exclaims: Create in me a pure heart, O God 314. What does it mean? That is, he asks the Lord to rid his heart of passions in order to give it to God pure. The Lord said about the human heart: From these comes the life 315. The heart is the center of a person, everything depends on it: Where your treasure is, there your heart will be 316. It is necessary to give ourselves an account of what our soul is about, what constitutes its content. Do we carry Christ within us or are we attached to something earthly? It is good if each of you devotes at least an hour or two in the evening to examining your heart in order to determine whether it loves God or something temporary. And it is necessary to love Christ with all your soul: Give Me, son, your heart! But what we notice now: they give their hearts, but not to the Lord. One becomes attached to wealth so that all his joy is in acquiring money; the other is looking for fame: he doesn’t need anything else, as long as everyone talks and bows to his talent - these are mostly scientists or artists; still others give their hearts to beauty”: they admire the beauties of this world and especially admire the beauty of women - these are again artists. Turgenev, for example, highly valued women; all women in his works are surrounded by a halo, male types are less clearly outlined. Of our great Russian writers, only Gogol, also an admirer of all that is beautiful, in the last period of his life seeks in a woman, first of all, a Christian, and a true Christian. He, however, did not meet such a person - not because there were no such women among Russian women; no, we have always had and will have Christian women, they are raising the younger generation, they are the key to our happy historical future, but, probably, because it was not useful to them. Today I talked with an intelligent person who graduated from high school and is about to enroll in courses; she admires Turgenev: “I’ll buy,” she says, “the complete collected works, and I’ll re-read them all; His female types are very clearly depicted.” Yes, she spoke fairly. Turgenev is a wonderful writer and artist, but he came to a bad end. He did not give his heart to the Lord. In one of his articles, written shortly before his death, Turgenev says: “Enough of chasing beauty...” 317, etc., but, unfortunately, until the end of his life he was chasing beauty. Many times the poet got carried away: finally, all his last love, everything that remained in his soul, he gave irrevocably to a woman, and there was nothing left for Christ. He drove him away from himself, and who did Turgenev love so much? The subject of his latest hobby was a flighty woman, the Italian Jew Viardot. Yesterday I served a prayer service in Bobrov and after it I visited the director of the plant. Here I met a lady who personally knew many of our writers: Polonsky, Goncharov, Turgenev. About this last one, she said that Viardot treated him terribly: instead of putting him, a 75-year-old old man, to rest, she simply treated him and was even proud that she treated the great Russian writer like a lackey. And what about Turgenev? He was blinded by love and endured everything. Pathetic blindness of the soul! And he brought a minus to God. Before his death, those around Turgenev (after all, there were good people) called the priest, but he refused to take communion, and so he died. He presented himself to the Lord, and the Lord requires, first of all, a heart devoted to Him, but Turgenev gave his heart to man, and not to Christ. While still on earth, he accepted retribution, and what fate awaits him beyond the grave is scary to even think about. But there was a time when Turgenev was a believer and highly valued this faith (he also visited Optina). In one of his articles, he rebelled against nihilism, saying that “now a new invasion of Holy Rus', an invasion, is much more terrible than the Mongol one. Those Tatars enslaved us politically, and the nihilistic trend is trying to take away our faith. It is necessary for all writers to unite together and stand up for the defense of the holy faith from its enemies,” and at the end of his life, Turgenev himself joined the ranks of the enemies of the faith and died, like Tolstoy. Lermontov also sought beauty and died because of a woman. The story of Pushkin, one of the greatest Russian poets, whose works are known to everyone, is also sad. True, he died after receiving communion; Maybe the Lord forgave him, but we don’t know how he is doing. He was much fascinated by temporary beauty and served vanity, although at times he was burdened by it. Pushkin has a poem that is very suitable in content to our conversation. One day Pushkin was visiting a beautiful woman, and she began to ask him to write something for an album. - What am I going to write to you? - he objected. – It doesn’t matter, you’re a genius; write at least a few lines impromptu and sign your name. Pushkin fulfilled her wish and wrote to her: It will die like a sad noise Waves splashing onto the distant shore. Like the sound of the night in a deep forest. Will leave a dead trail like This poem seemed prophetic; on earth they remember Pushkin, but perhaps for Heaven the name of the poet has died. I earnestly ask you: do not become attached to anything with your soul, let the Lord alone reign over it. But some want to combine love for Christ with love for perishable things - this is impossible. One, for example, passionately loves wealth or fame or, finally, a person; she wants to love with the passionate love of the groom and remain devoted to Christ with all her soul. But this is incompatible. There is, of course, no sin in loving the groom, but if love for him is stronger than love for God, then it will remove him from Christ. The Lord Himself said: No one can serve two masters 318. To work only for Christ, they even go to monasteries - this is a great thing. But what often happens is that they enter a monastery and then are disappointed. They write to me: “I hoped to find complete peace of mind in the monastery, I thought that there I would be imbued with a spirit of prayer, but what happens in reality? Life in the monastery is the same gray as in the world: envy, intrigue, gossip - no, I can’t stand this, what should I do now?” I answer: “Be patient. You mistakenly thought about the monastery that there was only one prayer; it is necessary to suffer the annoyance of the sisters in order to be washed from the clinging spiritual defilement.” They write again: “Father, it is unbearably difficult for me, the sisters are rebelling and making all sorts of slander, Mother Superior is also attacking, there is no one to find protection in.” “Pray for those who offend you,” I say, “the abbess is not attacking you, but this is necessary for your benefit.” “I cannot pray,” he answers, “for those who bring me so much grief and evil.” - “Can’t? Ask the Lord to give you strength to love them.” One of the ministers once came to one of the St. Petersburg priests, distinguished by his high life, Kolokolov 319 and complained: - Father, teach me what to do? I have many enemies who hate me for no reason and slander me to the Emperor. I can lose my position through their slander, and if I leave, the Emperor may think that my enemies are right, my name will be tarnished. What should I do? “Pray for those who rise up against you,” answered Fr. Kolokolov, - not only pray at home, but, most importantly, in church remember and take out particles for their health. - What is the use of this? - the minister objected. – But you’ll see... Each particle taken out of the prosphora means the soul of a person; the particles fall into the chalice and are filled with the Blood of Christ. Listen to me, write down all your enemies on a note: Leonid, John, Vladimir... - Yes, yes, Vladimir is especially angry at me. - Well, then give him money every day. A week, a month passes, and His Excellency again comes to Fr. Kolokolov. Bowing at his feet, he began to thank him: “Father, just a miracle happened,” he says, “my former enemies not only no longer rebel against me, but treat me with respect and love.” Instead of the previous slander, they even extol me too much. This is the miracle the Lord performed. And I advise you: pray for your enemies, and they will turn into friends. Through prayer you will save their souls from the snares of the enemy. What to do? Life, especially monastic life, is full of sorrows; it is absolutely impossible to avoid them. And, despite all the sorrows and hardships, it is easier to be saved in the monastery. All the best writers bowed before the monastery. Turgenev, for example, placed the heroine of his best novel “The Noble Nest”, Lisa, in a monastery. This girl was especially unhappy because she fell in love with a married man: and so she leaves everything and goes to work for the One God. Shakespeare, the king of poets, extols the monastery through the mouth of his hero Hamlet: “Ophelia,” he says, “go to the monastery. If only you were as pure as the snow on the mountain tops, and then the world will throw dirt at you. If you are as pure as crystal, then the world will stretch out its dirty hand to you and defile you.” Happy, therefore, are those who dwell in the holy monastery, may the Lord help you. Sorry, I can’t extend my conversation with you: the many things to do at the monastery do not allow me to devote much time to you. In Optina I was freer. Remember how we gathered in my small prayer room, which could barely accommodate everyone? Some sat on the sofa, some on chairs, and some on the bench. And we sometimes talked for two or three hours in the flickering light of a lamp in front of the Face of the Savior, who meekly looked at us, and the snow-white figure of an Angel emerged from the canvas. We had a good time! Both you and I rested our souls. But what can you do, you have to thank God for what you have: if there is no white bread, then they eat black, and sometimes stale bread - everything is better than nothing. So we will be content with what we have. I told you before and now I repeat that the time will come when people will flow around the mountains and seas to find the living word, and they will not find it. The Dormition Fast is coming, you will all fast and partake of the Holy Mysteries. Some worldly people think that you need to fast only once a year, but this is unfair, it is better to fast more often. Many of my spiritual children often receive communion, which is why it is easier for me to confess them, I know their whole soul; those who do not fast for two or three years, and it is difficult to confess, their soul becomes very dirty, and you don’t know how to cleanse it. It's just like what happens in life. My predecessors really neglected the apartment in which I now live, and the workers had to put in a lot of work: whitewashing and painting it until it looked decent; This is what happens with the soul. People devoted to the world often leave the Church completely and begin to get carried away with something else, for example, spiritualism. One educated man, who, having left the University, graduated from the Theological Academy, and is now even in the rank of hieromonk, told me that at one time he became interested in spiritualism, but then he learned that the devil is active in spiritualism. And another person, who had not previously believed, told me that he came to faith when one day, while practicing spiritualism, he saw Satan. His appearance was that of a human being, but it was so terrible that the one who saw him fainted, and then abandoned spiritualistic seances forever and returned to the Church. Spiritualists are divided into two categories: some, in delusion, believe that spiritualism is not contrary to Christianity and even pray before the start of the session, reading various prayers and psalms; and others, without disguising themselves, directly declare that their god is Satan, who helps them. These are the horrors people reach. May the Lord save you all. Amen. Today I wanted to read you an article about the fast of Rev. Isaac 320, but time does not allow. Here, in Golutvin, I cannot devote so much time to you and be with you in such spiritual closeness as in Optina. I am very busy and, so to speak, scattered. When will this time come and I will be able to collect myself a little and withdraw into myself? And whether such a time will come - I don’t know what the Lord is giving. When St. Seraphim 321 decided to transfer me from Optina, then he said that Fr. Barsanuphius should be given a wider range of activities, otherwise he will completely sour in the Skete. And I just wanted to “sour” in the Skete - as long as the bread is unleavened and not sour, it is tasteless. Remember the Gospel parable that the Kingdom of Heaven is like leaven, which a woman took and put in three measures of flour until it was all leavened 322. The leaven in the Skete, thank God, was established, but I also wanted to leaven, as our great elders did: Leo, Macarius, Ambrose, Anatoly and partly Hilarion 323, that is, to overcome all passions, but I did not succeed. Every person experiences a period of fermentation, that is, a time when passions attack like dogs, hiss like reptiles, howl like wolves, and even roar like bears. This is a dangerous time, it is necessary, you need to survive it, overcome all passions in order to inherit Eternal Life. The grapes from which wine is made are first fermented. This process proceeds rapidly until, finally, a clean, tasty and strong wine is obtained. Even ordinary kvass, when fermented, reaches such tension that if the safety valve in the barrel is not opened, the barrel will burst, just as a forty-bucket barrel once burst in our Skete. So passions greatly excite a person, and how much he needs a leader at this time! Imagine that some person sometimes walks through the forest at night. There is complete darkness around, and he does not know where to go. In the distance you can hear the howling of wolves, snakes hiss under your feet, and there you can hear the sound of a rushing stream. He's scared. But suddenly the wanderer hears someone's steps. His heart sank: “This must be the robber coming to kill me,” he thought. But the wanderer was afraid in vain: this was not a robber, but a traveler who came to help him. He holds a lantern in his hands and points the way: “Come here, you went the wrong way,” he says to the lost person, and he safely gets out of the forest and reaches his village or the train station. So in life, leadership is needed. Earthly life is a night during which it is easy for the enemy to attack, but spiritual guidance saves us. And some of you have already experienced, while others are going through a time of fermentation, and perhaps even very strong, but do not be afraid, with the Lord there is no fear. “Lord, save me! Lord, help me!” – every believing soul must cry out – and the Lord will never leave. Another lady came to see me in Optina. She had to go through a difficult drama. She got married and already had three children, when suddenly her husband cheated on her and left her. Luckily, she unexpectedly received fifty thousand, so she could live well on the outside. She went abroad and settled in Lausanne, where she began studying languages: French, English and even Sanskrit. The Lord brought her to Optina. I asked her what she was doing, but was quite surprised to learn that she was studying Sanskrit. “What do you need it for?” - I ask. - “Yes, I am very interested in getting acquainted with Buddhism and reading the books of the Veda in the original.” - “Don’t you tumble in front of Buddha?” - “No, why not, I only respect him as an ideal teacher.” I told her just a few simple words, but the grace of God affected her. He advised her to read the Gospel and the Lives of the Saints, which she did. She changed a lot after visiting Optina. Yesterday I received a letter from her, she is now improving her English at Oxford (I did not forbid her to study), but her mood is no longer what it was before visiting Optina. The Lord calmed her and filled her life. True, sometimes a mother’s heart will ache for her children – after all, they are left with her husband, but what can you do, everyone has their own cross to bear, which cannot be avoided. When I was about 20 years old, I met socially with an officer of the General Staff. He once said that he was offered a lot of money for issuing plans. “With what contempt and indignation I refused them,” said the officer, “I remembered the heroes of ancient Rome: Horace Cocles, Mucius Scaevola, and how one of them, during negotiations, put his hand on hot coals and, despite the fact that his hand was burned, calmly continued the conversation, which greatly surprised and frightened the enemy: “So that’s what the Romans are like!” It will be difficult to fight them!” Now my enemies have rebelled against me, they want to deprive me of my place, but I am not embarrassed.” “You are surprised at the Roman heroes,” they objected to him, “but there are much more glorious heroes, heroes of the spirit - these are saints. The feats they accomplished are incomparably higher than the feats of the Romans.” He was advised to read the lives of saints, and he admired them with all his heart. And I have always advised and advise you to read the Lives of the Saints, and you will find great consolation in this reading. Your sorrows will seem insignificant to you in comparison with those that the saints endured. Reading the Lives of the Saints, you will have a desire to imitate them if possible. You will want to pray and ask the Lord for help, and the Lord will help. There is already a little time left for you to live here, and then you will disperse again and go into the world, into the sea of ​​life: “The sea of ​​life, raised up in vain by the misfortunes of the storm...” - but perhaps the time will come when you will cry out to the Lord: “I have flowed to Your quiet refuge, I cry to You: lift up my belly from aphids, O Many-merciful One!” The enemy, of course, will not leave you alone. Condemnation and ridicule will begin... How is it that young intelligent girls live in monasteries and are so backward; They will doubt the purity of your intentions - but do not be embarrassed. Someone said: “If you fight every barking dog, you will never get there,” and do not pay attention to the attacks of your enemies, these barking dogs, who, choosing people as tools, seek to harm you in the matter of salvation. The Lord will save you. When I arrived here, I was greeted very unfriendly, but now, thank God, everything is being sorted out, and monastic life is being somewhat adjusted. Some monks who did not want to submit to the new order left, others resigned themselves. New monks arrived, so the composition of the brethren was renewed. Lord willing, everything will be in order. They say they want to transfer me again. I just don’t know where else. If the Lord willing, I will stay here, and we will all be alive, then next year you will come here again for the summer and take over the old apartments. On July 30, the heir's birthday, he celebrated mass. They handed me vestments, the deacon and the sexton were about to put the chasuble on me, but I said: “Wait, first I’ll take my archimandrite’s cross from the throne and put it on, and then my chasuble.” And, putting on the cross, he dressed himself in a shiny golden robe. I ask the deacon: - Why did I put on the cross before the robe? - Yes, it’s more convenient, then it fits well and doesn’t interfere. I ask another, third. Nobody could answer. “Because,” I tell them, “to receive the bright robe of justification it is necessary to first bear the cross; without the cross there is no salvation.” “Give me a robe of light; dress in light, like a robe, O most merciful Christ our God” 324. During Holy Week, during the All-Night Vigil or Matins, it is sung: “I see Your chamber, my Savior, adorned, and I am not wearing clothes, but I will enter into it: enlighten the robe of my soul, O Light-Giver, and save me.” So each of us should pray to the Lord that He will grant us forgiveness of all our sins. But in the matter of salvation, first of all, humility is necessary. St. Isaac the Syrian says: “Without humility it is impossible to be saved, despite all good deeds, but humility saves even without deeds.” Of course, it is very difficult to acquire humility; it is easier to have a hundred thousand than to have humility. But if we have even a penny, we still won’t be discouraged, maybe then we’ll have two, and the Lord will not reject us even for a little humility. Today is a great holiday, the Transfiguration of our Lord Jesus Christ. I wish you all to be spiritually transformed and begin a new life in Christ. Those who fulfill the commandments of the Lord to the best of their ability here on earth pass from strength to strength. Those who are worthy to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven will move from glory to glory. Today a song was sung: “...To you the Cherubim and Seraphim cry out in unceasing voices: Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God of Hosts!..” 325 What does this song mean? How can Cherubim cry out when they are incorporeal and have neither lungs nor voice? This must be understood spiritually. The Heavenly Powers stand before the Throne of God, comprehend greater and greater perfections of God and, delving deeper into them, are imbued with the consciousness that the Lord God is Holy. God is infinitely perfect, and therefore the knowledge of His perfections will take the Heavenly Forces all eternity. The consciousness of these perfections of God is accessible not only to Angels, but also to people. Even here on earth, a person who works for the glory of God begins, as far as is, of course, accessible to him, to comprehend the perfections of the Creator, he realizes that everything in the Lord is goodness, and there is not a shadow of malice in him. And the more a person purifies his soul by fulfilling the commandments of Christ, the more he comes to know God. Of course, this knowledge varies greatly among people, depending on the spiritual success of each. After all, in everyday life it happens like this: after graduating from a city school, they go to study at a gymnasium, then at a university - and the higher the educational institution, the more knowledge a person receives. So it is in spiritual life. If anyone is worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven, then, having entered it, do not think that you will remain the same as you entered. The soul improves every moment, striving to become like God, but, of course, it cannot become exactly the same as the Lord - the creature can never compare with the Creator. However, there is a big difference between people in the degree of closeness to God. There are saints who labored in monasteries; they are called venerables, that is, extremely similar to God. But not only in the Kingdom of Heaven does life not stop, and in hell the souls of sinners do not remain in the same state, they also change every moment, only for the worse, their torment intensifies - and so on endlessly. The Holy Scripture says: And the smoke of their torment will ascend forever and ever 326. There is a legend that on the Feast of the Transfiguration the beginning of Eternal Life is seeded in us, and therefore it is so important to partake of the Holy Mysteries on this very day. The Lord calls everyone to Himself, promises life to everyone, but here’s a sad phenomenon: they don’t want to go. They don’t want to go to the Lord and don’t even believe in the existence of a better life, they don’t know what the needs of the spirit are and, apart from satisfying the whims of the body, they don’t strive for anything. The apostles who were with Christ on Tabor were filled with great joy, they even forgot themselves: Lord, it is good for us to be here, - the Apostle Peter exclaims for everyone, - if you want, let us create three canopies here: one for You, and one for Moses, and one for Elijah 327 - here, but he doesn’t talk about himself, doesn’t ask permission to create more a canopy or tabernacle for the three apostles. Such is the bliss of contemplating the glory of the Lord, a bliss incomparable to anything. But maybe someone would want to be on Tabor all the time in this life? This is impossible. One saint said: “First stay on Golgotha, and then you will ascend to Tabor.” Saint Isaac the Syrian says: “First you need to endure the annoyance of the cross, and then feel the glory of the cross” 328. To feel this glory, to be spiritually transformed, you need to cleanse your heart of passions. Saint Isaac the Syrian says this: “Whoever forbids his lips to slander, keeps his heart from passions. And whoever keeps his heart from passions sees the Lord every hour... If you love purity, in which the Lord of all can be seen, then do not slander anyone and do not listen to the one who slanderes his brother... He who desires to see the Lord within himself makes an effort to purify his heart by constant remembrance of God; and thus, with the brightness of the eyes of his mind, he will see the Lord hourly..." 329 This is the main thing that is required of every person: not to judge anyone. It seems simple, but once you start doing it, it turns out to be difficult. The enemy strongly attacks a person and instills in him thoughts of condemnation. The Lord says: “Forgive me,” and the enemy inspires: “Take revenge on the offender. He reviles you, and you revile him,” etc. You don’t need to listen to the enemy, you need to fight him. All people in this regard are divided into three categories: carnal, struggling and perfect. Carnal people are those who are slaves of passions, passions command them. For example, the devil inspires: “Kill so-and-so, he has done you a lot of harm,” and a person enslaved by passions fulfills this command. The enemy says: “Be sexually immoral,” and the like, and the person does all this. People who surrender to the power of passions will perish unless they repent, and if they repent of their sins and begin to fight their passions with their strength, they will be saved. An example is the thief on the cross: he killed, robbed, committed all sorts of atrocities, but when he repented and cried out to the Lord: Remember me, Lord, when you come in Your Kingdom, he was pardoned. People of the second category are those who struggle with their passions. They are overcome by all sorts of passions: anger, fornication and malice, but they try not to submit to them. For example, if such a person feels anger towards someone, it would seem that he would tear his opponent to pieces, but he does not succumb to passion, does not express his dislike; but still strives to do some good to the hated - such a person fights with passion. And so it is in everything. Those who struggle will be saved. The Lord will not allow such people to perish. I hope we all belong to the second category of people, struggling with our passions. Of course, sometimes passions win, but then we also overcome passions. And this struggle is waged all our lives until the Lord, by His grace, “healing the weak and replenishing the poor,” allows us to emerge as conquerors of the passions. Finally, perfect people are those who rule over passions. And they have passions, but they have completely subdued them under their power. These people are special, and it is good for us sinners if we are among those struggling with passions, and for this - glory to the Lord, then we will not lose hope of salvation. Let us fight passions, and if they win, we will repent and confess our sins. At the Last Judgment there will no longer be repentance, there will be neither Barsanuphius nor Gabriel there, but only the truth of God. Let’s try to transform ourselves spiritually; for such transformation we go to a monastery. When I entered the monastery, I thought that all they did there was stand with their hands raised in grief and pray, but it turned out differently... Prayerful work is not enough, work is also necessary, which in the monastery is called obedience: one in the garden, another in the vegetable garden, one in the cookhouse, another in the kvass-making plant, some are engaged in shoemaking or tailoring, etc. This is necessary. One must endure both labor and annoyance from the brethren in order to truly be transformed. One rich student decided to leave everything and devote himself to God. He made a great contribution and became one of the brethren. They sent him to the garden, and there, in the mud and dampness, he had to work. The enemy, who cannot tolerate such humility, began to arm the brethren against him, especially the simple ones. - Well, why did you come here, idiot? - one of the monks tells him one day. – Of course, to eat the monastery’s bread, that’s why you came here. “Forgive me for Christ’s sake,” answered the former student, and thus defeated the enemy. The monk, who treated the novice rudely, later repented that he had acted that way. And the offended one went to the elder and told him about everything, adding: “I am not complaining about him, but I ask for your holy prayers so that I can graciously endure any insult.” In the monastery they give such lessons, and through them humility is acquired in a way unnoticeable to the monk; and 20-30 years will pass, and the monk will find out that he was not walking backward, but forward. And gradually, cleansing his heart from passions, he will be vouchsafed to receive the Kingdom of Heaven, which may the Lord vouchsafe us all. Amen. A long time ago, when I was still in the world, I read the following story: one king saw an unfortunate dwarf from the window of his magnificent palace and, taking pity on him, ordered his servants to bring him. They called the dwarf and, leading him to the high marble staircase leading to the royal chambers, ordered him to go upstairs. The dwarf walked up one step, then another, but on the third he stopped and sat down with his back to the stairs, not wanting to go further. “Well,” he said offendedly, “they told me that there, at the king’s place, there are magnificent chambers, soft beds, abundant food, but what happens in reality? Walk on this hard stone, climb from step to step... No, I will never walk again, no matter what you say.” And he didn’t go. You are perhaps inclined to condemn this dwarf. After all, if he had continued to walk, he would certainly have reached the king, and he would have rewarded him with his mercy, and perhaps even left him in the palace completely, but the dwarf, due to his great foolishness, lost all this. But do not rush to condemn him: this dwarf portrays us, sinners. Indeed, the Heavenly King calls everyone to His palace, to the Kingdom of Heaven, and promises peace and joy to everyone without exception, but out of negligence we often refuse to go, we do not want to endure the harshness of the steps. A man entered this staircase leading to the king, that is, he entered the right path, and had already walked one or two steps, but the enemy, who was very jealous of people, began to tempt him: “Well, where are you going? Do you really think you will ever reach the palace? The path is very long, you won’t be able to stand it anyway, it’s better to go down.” But another tempting voice says: “Leave your labors! There is no palace or kingdom, there is no Tsar, this is just an illusion!” At first a person will be horrified by such a diabolical thought, but it often happens that later he will believe... “I was a believer,” they often say, “I fasted, prayed, and now I have left all this behind, since these are mere trifles.” And the enemy inspires: “That’s it, continue like this.” But suppose a person did not succumb to the tempting thought that there is no God, he believes in the Lord, then the enemy tempts in a different way. “Rest,” he says, “you’re tired. Well, if you don't want to go down the stairs, then at least sit on the steps. Rest is necessary." True, rest is needed not only for the body, but also for the soul, but what kind of rest? Spiritual, that is, reading the Word of God, Lives of Saints, etc. And the enemy inspires: “Go to the theater, the play is moral, beautiful music; all this will entertain you.” Indeed, a man went to the theater and, as it seemed to him, came away with a good impression. Then the enemy tempts you to go on a visit, although atheists are often there, but what about that? And I went to visit, and there again I came across a poster for a theatrical performance, and again I went to the theater - and returned to my former carnal life, which I had already left. No, such holidays are illegal. I repeat: rest is needed, and the holy people not only kept praying. And in prayer there must be reasoning. Only the rest of the saints was sinless and allowed them after it to take up their exploits with new strength. Two girls lived in Alexandria: Marina and Kira, living a holy life. Not content with this, they sold all their property and went to a deserted place, where they built themselves a cave and labored for 49 days in silence, and on the 50th day they went out to people to talk and to share their spiritual wisdom with those who came. You see, the saints did not remain in the feat all the time, so as not to overstrain themselves. One day St. The Apostle John the Theologian was sitting on the porch of his house with a bird in his arms. A man passing by was surprised and said: -What are you doing? Did you catch a bird and pet it? - You are a hunter, it seems you have a bow and arrows. If you overstretch a bow, what happens to it? “It will break,” was the answer. – Likewise, a person cannot exercise only in the spiritual. If he can’t stand it, he’ll break,” explained Apostle John the Theologian. Everything must be done with reason, otherwise there may be jealousy that is not according to reason. I knew one man who took up the work of his salvation too ardently. He imposed a special fast on himself, made countless bows every day, but everything seemed not enough to him. Desiring higher achievements, he began reading ascetic books, read the Philokalia, then the Bible, tried to understand the meaning of the prophecies and went crazy. And if he had acted with reason, then, of course, he would have been saved. It is dangerous to read the Bible without a guide, since the prophecies contain a mysterious meaning that is understood by very few. Yes, and the “Philokalia” describes a different life than in the world, and a worldly person, reading it, sees what a huge difference there is between ordinary life and the one about which it speaks. It's a pity that people often have extremes. Either they want to completely move away from God - they don’t want to know Him, or they take it too ardently, without calculating their strength, and break off. You must go step by step, carefully, and stand, praying moderately, and also testing yourself, revealing everything to your confessor. So gradually, breaking away from everything worldly, we will reach the Heavenly Jerusalem. Without a leader it is difficult to escape. As they say, it is possible, but only carefully. Many eagerly followed the path of salvation, and then, unable to bear it, abandoned it. For example, Tolstoy: he started well, but ended badly. Lermontov was also looking for God, but he wanted to find Him right away, he was waiting only for raptures, but he did not want to endure the slowness of the path and the hardness of the steps, he broke off and died forever. Everyone knows the story about the evangelical youth 330. He approaches Christ and asks how he can inherit eternal life? The Lord answers: do this and that. “I did all this,” says the young man. “And if you want to be perfect,” Christ objects, “sell your property and give everything to the poor.” This commandment of Christ has deep meaning. The property that needs to be distributed is all that we have received from the world. It must be taken from the heart, distributed, so that there is nothing worldly there, but only Christ. I earnestly ask you to guard your heart, let it all belong to the Lord, do not allow anyone there except your spiritual father, and perhaps a friend in the Lord. There is an estate that does not need to be distributed. The famous doctor and comprehensively educated man Professor Pirogov, possessing extensive learning, used it for the glory of God. When he was asked how he could combine the fulfillment of the rites and decrees of the Orthodox Church with his enormous practice, he answered: “The Lord helps me, since I use my knowledge for the glory of my Lord Jesus Christ.” There is no need to give up such wealth, that is, knowledge. The exploits themselves require great caution. One young man came to our Skete, thirsting for salvation. He comes to Father Ambrose, asking him to give him a prayer rule. “Put 30 bows a day, and that’s enough for you,” said Father. “If you weren’t Father Ambrose, then I would think that you were laughing at me,” the newcomer objected, “I made a thousand bows in the world.” “I think you came here not to teach, but to learn,” the Elder remarked sternly, “give 30 bows for obedience, and that’s enough.” Leaving Father, he began to tell everyone what little rule the Elder had given him. Several days pass, and the young man again appears to Fr. Ambrose. - Well, what do you say? - asked Father. - Yes, I want to talk about the rule you gave me: I can’t. - What rule did I give you? – asked Fr. Ambrose (Father sometimes forgot due to the mass of visitors). - Oh yes, I remember, isn’t it enough for you? - No, Father, I came to ask you to make it easier, because I can’t bow 30 times. Such melancholy and laziness attacks, I just don’t have the strength. I’m surprised how I used to easily make a thousand bows, but now I can’t even do 30. - But because the enemy helped you. - How did the enemy help you pray? - Yes, because, while performing a great prayer rule, you exalted yourself in your soul, and condemned everyone else, considered everyone lost, and only yourself saved. – Yes, Father, it seemed to me that most people were dying, and I thanked God for my salvation. - Well, you see, you had pride, and exaltation, and condemnation of others, but the enemy doesn’t need anything else! Therefore, how careful we should be even in prayers and deeds that seem to us to be saving. Thank God, you have all entered the path of salvation and, I think, you do not repent that you entered and followed Christ. Some go to Finland, Ireland, Lausanne and other “Annas” for the summer, but you came to the holy monastery of St. Sergius of Radonezh, settled in swallow’s nests and rested your body, and perhaps your soul. If I am alive, then come here next spring, and I will receive you with the usual love. Do not leave the path of salvation, hold on to Christ. In the book Apocalypse of St. John the Theologian, Christ says: Behold, I stand at the door and talk; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and sup with him, and he with Me 331. Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich, impressed by these verses, wrote a wonderful poem: I stand knocking at your door. Let Me into your cell! Who will hear my voice, who will open the door, Whoever calls me to himself - To him I will go in and love him, You are weak, exhausted, you are in labor and struggle, You are crying - the last tears from your eyes And I will also comfort you in your sorrows. And I will sit down with you to have dinner... I stand knocking at your door, Let Me into your cell!.. The grace of God knocks on our hearts, merciful and saving sinners, so long as they do not turn away from the Lord and follow this gracious call. Respond to the call of the Lord not in a sensual way, but with the whole structure of your life. Keep the commandments of Christ, and they are not burdensome: for My yoke is easy, and My burden is light, 332,” said the Lord. Respond to the call of Christ and, having lived with Him here on earth, you will then reach the eternal Unstoppable Light in the Kingdom of the Heavenly Father. Peace be with you! Amen. December 25, 1912 Christmas Day I greet you on the great holiday of the Nativity of Christ. I started to get weaker and could barely stand Vespers today. The Pharisees and scribes condemned Christ for calling Himself God - creating Himself equal to God 333. The Lord, in response to their reproach, did not say: “I am God of the same essence as the Father,” but answered them: Isn’t it written in your law: Az rekh: you are God? 334 This applied to the Israelites. The Pharisees could not answer this and fell silent. But how does a person become like God, how can this name be applied to him? The ancient Greeks had gods who personified different properties of people, both good and vicious, but these are not the gods we are talking about here. Of course, not only among people, but also among Angels, no one can be the same as the Lord, but every person must become like God if he wants to achieve the Kingdom of Heaven. Saints who imitated God to the highest degree are called venerables. But how are they like God? Let's illustrate this with an example. If you take a few drops of water, then although they will be small, their properties resemble the lake or river from which they were taken. Likewise, the saints borrow from the Lord His properties: goodness, love, mercy - and thereby become like God. I remember an incident that happened in my distant homeland. A seven-year-old boy, an orphan, was taken into the service of one trading establishment. One rich man saw him and liked the boy's meek face. He took him with him. Soon this gentleman left the village and took the boy with him. In the city, he sent him to a gymnasium, then to a university. Many years passed, and the former orphan, having completed his course at the university, came to his home village for a while. The villagers who knew him as a boy said in surprise: “Could it really be Mitenka?” Exactly, it was him, but how he has changed! He became an educated man, Dimitri Pavlovich, and acquired all the properties of an intelligent person. His comrades, with whom he played grandma and other games, also grew up, but in their development they differed sharply from him and did not have his properties. Likewise, sinful people do not have the same properties that saints have, and they, in turn, borrow these properties from the Lord. But there is a big difference between the consciousness of a person acquiring earthly knowledge and a saint acquiring the grace of God. A person, studying in a gymnasium, then at a university, clearly realizes that he is enriched with more and more new knowledge, and a saint, on the contrary, approaching God, considers himself worse and worse, because he sees before him an ideal - Christ, to whom he strives to become like, and, of necessity, realizes how far he is from this ideal. One man, who had 50 thousand in capital, was considered rich in his native village, but then he comes to Alexandria and sees that there are many people here much richer than him, and when he visited Constantinople and saw millionaires there, he realized that in comparison with them his wealth is completely insignificant. Likewise, the saints, comparing their virtues with the infinite perfections of God, consider themselves to be nothing 335. What will we say, sinners? In order to become like God, we must fulfill His holy commandments, and if we look at it, it turns out that we have not truly fulfilled a single one. Let’s go through them all, and it turns out that we barely touched on that commandment, perhaps we were just beginning to fulfill another one, and, for example, we didn’t even start the commandment about love. What remains for us sinners to do? How to escape? Only through humility: Lord, I am a sinner in everything, I have nothing good, I only hope in Your infinite mercy! We are absolute bankrupts before the Lord, but He will not reject us for humility. And, indeed, it is better, having sins, to consider oneself great sinners, than, having some good deeds, to be puffed up by them, considering oneself righteous. The Gospel depicts two such examples in the person of the tax collector and the Pharisee. The Pharisee, proud of his imaginary virtues, only exposes himself: “I did this and that,” everything is just “I” and “I,” and the tax collector has nothing to boast about, he stole, and, collecting taxes, took excess, and therefore, recognizing his sins, he humbly prayed to the Lord: God, be merciful to me, a sinner! 336 You know the end: the Pharisee is condemned, and the tax collector is acquitted. Learn the prayer of the publican: “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” And not only in church, but also when standing for regular morning or evening prayer, say these words, and at any time. For example, sit at home, your gaze falls on the icon, and remember this prayer right now. This prayer is expressed in other words: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!” Always mentally say these great words, because they contain humility, and where there is humility, there is faith. Mere knowledge of God's law will not save us. The Pharisee knew the law in every detail, but his knowledge was dead capital, which did not bring any benefit, since it was not put into practice. One day to Rev. Seraphim was approached by someone who graduated from the Academy and had extensive scientific knowledge. The Monk Seraphim cited the following comparison for edification: a person who fulfills the law of God in practice is like a man carrying stones to a bell tower: it is difficult for him, but he does not give up his work. A person who knows the law of God, only theoretically, is like a man sitting on a bell tower and throwing stones down. What's the use?! Those who only knew the law will be saved, but the creators of the law. People who fulfill the commandments of Christ with their very lives achieve creative power. In the first centuries of Christianity, there lived in Greece, in Thrace, a remarkable ascetic named Mark 337. He left the world early and settled on the Thracian Mountain, where in solitude and silence he labored for the Lord. He could not borrow examples from people, but “he studied the law of the Lord day and night.” One day Abba Serapion visited him to bury his body, since the Lord was already calling Mark to Himself. When Abba Serapion arrived, Mark met him with love and began a spiritual conversation with him. How do Christians live now? Are they still being persecuted? After all, I have been in the desert for 95 years, and during this time I have not seen a single person. – Through your holy prayers, father, the persecution stopped; “Christian worship is openly performed everywhere,” answered Abba Serapion. - God bless! – Mark exclaimed. “Are there any Christians who will say to this mountain: throw yourself into the sea, and she will listen to them?” When Mark said these words, a terrible crash was suddenly heard, and the mountain on which the ascetics were moved from its place and plunged into the sea. Mark, addressing the mountain as a living creature, said: - Stay calm, I'm not talking to you. Consequently, Mark's words had creative power, since he was the creator of the law. We sinners, of course, cannot do such things, but if, according to the word of the Savior, we have faith the size of a mustard seed and humble ourselves, then the Lord will not reject us, but will save us, by what destinies He Himself knows. Today in the Church wonderful chants are sung: Christ is born - praise, Christ from heaven - drop it, Christ on earth - ascend, Sing to the Lord, all the earth, And sing with joy, people. “Christ is born - glorify” - not with your tongue or lungs, but you need to glorify Christ with your life. “Bring Christ down from heaven,” that is, meet Him with faith and good deeds, inextricably linked with faith: faith, if it does not have works, is dead in itself 340. “Christ on earth - ascend” - this is not about rising above others, being proud; no, this means that it is necessary to tear your heart away from everything earthly, vain and corruptible. When I was still living in the world, I was once in an aristocratic house. There were many guests. The conversations were very boring: they conveyed news, talked about the theater, etc. People with low souls were satisfied with this conversation, but many were bored and yawned. One of the guests turned to the daughter of the owner of the house with a request to play something. Other guests also supported him. She agreed, went up to the marvelous concert grand piano and began to play and sing: An angel flew across the midnight sky And the month, and the stars, and the clouds in droves Listen to that holy song. He sang about the bliss of sinless spirits Under the bushes of the Gardens of Eden, He sang about the Great God, and praise He carried the young soul in his arms And the sound of his song in the soul is young He remained - without words, but alive. And she languished in the world for a long time. And the sounds of heaven could not be replaced To her the boring songs of the earth 341. A girl was singing, and the surroundings suited this song. All this took place on a large glass terrace; It was night, from the windows one could see an ancient noble garden, illuminated by the silver light of the moon... I looked at the faces of the listeners and read concentrated attention and even tenderness on them, and one of the guests, covering his face with his hands, cried like a child, and I had never seen him cry. But why did this singing touch everyone so much? I think that this happened because singing tore people away from base worldly interests and directed their thoughts to God, the Source of all good things. This song was written by Lermontov, a sinful man, and it was not sung by a saint, but the words of this beautiful poem made a strong impression; All the more so, the words of church hymns (not just the Gospels), troparions, and canons can fill with bliss a soul that is not yet completely mired in the sea of ​​life. But in order for church singing to make the proper impression, it is necessary to delve into the meaning of these songs, and then you will not be able to tear yourself away from them, and if many stand emotionlessly in church, yawn and just wait for the service to end, it is because they do not understand the meaning of church hymns. Old church melodies especially touch the soul. In our monastery, of course, we don’t have this: five or six monks sing, as God puts in their hearts. Excuse me, the richer you are, the happier you are. And there are churches with very good singers. But to save the soul, you need to sing to the Lord not with your voice, but with your very life. In the Holy Scriptures, life in Christ is called singing: The Lord is my strength and my song, and it will be my salvation... I will sing to the Lord in my life 342 In Optina Pustyn, the planter of the eldership, Fr. Lion. The enemy strongly rebelled against him because he received the people and saved many with his prayers and advice. The devil armed not only the laity, but also the monks against this Elder. One day some of the monks who hated Fr. Lev, they reported him to the bishop: “He’s all women and women, and he fusses with them from morning to night, this is not at all befitting a monk,” the monks wrote to the Vladyka. The bishop himself came to Optina to personally verify the validity of what was written. When he came to Father Fr. Lev, he was indeed surrounded by crowds of people, mostly women. Suddenly they brought a man possessed, who, foaming at the mouth, struggled in the hands of the people who brought him. “Didn’t I forbid you to receive people,” the bishop said sternly, “but you still accept them?!” “I sing to my God, until I am 343,” answered the Elder. “Look, Vladyka,” he continued, pointing to the demoniac, “this man has almost lost his human semblance; Am I really going to drive him away like a beast? And these women are all thirsty for the salvation of souls; if I reject them, then the Lord will reject me. The Bishop understood the deep meaning of the Elder’s words and recognized the legality of his actions. Now here is the solemn holiday of the Nativity of Christ, on which we remember how the Lord was born of the Blessed Virgin Mary and was like a Child among us and for our sake. But why did the Only Begotten Son of God come to earth? There are many reasons here. First of all, of course, to save people from sins and make them gods, and also to bring peace to earth. Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will to men 344. The Lord wants us to love each other and forgive offenses, but we often take revenge on offenders, but if we fail to take revenge, we regret it. Christians should not do this: they must put aside pride and vanity and consider themselves worse than everyone else; then we will not condemn others and take revenge on them for grievances. I recently learned the sad news. One clergyman, a man known for his scholarship and theological education, a defender of Orthodoxy, suddenly renounced it. I really don’t want to believe it! He spoke beautifully, eloquently and lived well, was neither a murderer nor a fornicator, had no other vices, but suddenly he staggered and denied the Lord. Why did this happen? True, he was placed in very difficult conditions, the enemy attacked him from all sides, and he could not resist. Vanity destroyed him. The extensive knowledge that he had did not bring him any benefit, but, on the contrary, harmed him, since it puffed up his mind. And vanity comes from a lack of humility. A humble person will not be overcome by any sorrows, he will not fall, because, humbling himself, he finds that for his sins he is worthy of greater punishment. The humble one is likened to a man who built his house on a rock: And the rain came down, and the rivers came, and the winds blew, and attacked that church, and did not fall, it was founded on the rock 346. And this stone is humility. A vain person is like a man who built his house on sand without a foundation. And the rain came down, and the rivers came, and the winds blew, and they asked (that is, they rushed with all their might) to that church, and fell, and its great destruction was 347. Let us humble ourselves before God. Now, December 25, 1912, let us put a small brick into the foundation of our house, that is, the desire to improve, and the Lord Himself will save us according to His ineffable goodness. Amen. December 27, 1912 Christmastide “Today the grace of the Holy Spirit has gathered us together,” these words begin the troparia sung on especially important and solemn occasions. “Today the grace of the Holy Spirit has gathered us together,” you and I will now say, having gathered for spiritual conversation. It used to be that we gathered in the same way in Optina, in my small prayer room, by the light of a green lamp. Only now the circle of listeners is expanding. In Optina, there used to be three or four people sitting on the sofa, then on chairs and benches; in total, there were twelve people, or at most seventeen, at the conversations. And now twenty-seven have gathered. What are we going to talk about? You have arrived here from different parts: some from St. Petersburg, some from Moscow, from distant Tambov, etc., gathered in our humble monastery, under the wing of St. Sergius, - and know everything that the Reverend will accept this sacrifice of yours and pray for you. All of you have come together to receive spiritual consolation and relax here from the bustle of life. It was not material calculations that guided you when you sought from distant places to our quiet abode; You spend these Christmastides, or holy days, here as you should, as our Holy Orthodox Church teaches: you visit the church of God, pray, listen to my wretched conversation... (Holy days - what wonderful words! And you all know how they are spent in the world: theaters, balls, concerts, masquerades, etc. Secular entertainment will make a person so dizzy that he has no time to think about anything spiritual, and after all this There is only emptiness left in the soul. I remember vain conversations, free behavior, the infatuation of women with men, and men with women. And such emptiness remains not only from the lowest pleasures, but also from those that are not very sinful. What if, amid such entertainment, the Lord calls a soul to Himself? Can she count on heavenly bliss? The Word of the Lord says: “What I find, in that I will judge.” Therefore, such a soul cannot go to the abodes of light, but to the eternal darkness of the underworld. It’s scary to think - after all, this is for all eternity! I remember a terrible incident that happened at one ball, back when I was in the world. In one rich aristocratic house there was a masquerade ball; I was not present at it, but my comrades told me about it later. The queen of the ball was one wonderful beauty. The only daughter of wealthy parents, she was well educated and brought up, but, of course, only in a secular way, why not give her pleasure? Her parents spared nothing for her. Her costume, depicting a pagan goddess, cost several hundred rubles, and much was said about this costume. The ball opened with dancing, as always, a polka dance, followed by other dances, and finally a French quadrille. During the quadrille, the beauty suddenly fell in her death throes. She tore off her mask, and everyone was horrified by her appearance: their jaws curled, their face turned black, their eyes expressed horror and a plea for help, but no one could help her. And so she died in the middle of the ball. They grieved for her, especially her parents, buried her, erected a magnificent monument over her grave, and everything earthly ended for her. And what happened to her soul? It's scary to think about! Of course, God’s ways are inscrutable, but, according to our poor human understanding, she will not be in the Kingdom of Light. She appeared before the judgment of God, and the Lord, who said: “What I find you in, I judge you in,” found her in the middle of the game, in the clothes of the goddess of debauchery, and her soul went into the dark confines of hell. This is where serving the world ends! Those who work in the world consider serving Christ to be difficult and difficult to fulfill, but is it easy for the world to work? What heavy chains does he impose on his followers! Take holiday visits for example! Instead of going to the church of God, people go on absurd visits from morning to evening, often visiting people they do not like, and these people would not at all want to see them in their home. But try, for example, a subordinate not to visit his superiors - well, now he will be in trouble, or even lose his job altogether; inevitably one has to perform this boring custom. And the man returns in the evening, tired, broken, cursing the harsh custom of this age. But what should a Christian do in such cases? The Holy Apostle Paul says: “Do whatever is not against your conscience, but whatever is contrary, turn away from it.” It is impossible not to communicate with worldly people at all, otherwise we would have to leave the world. The world greatly dislikes those who do not follow its laws. He gives them different names: nuns (in the mouth of the world this is a shameful name), abnormal, retarded, etc. “Do you know,” one says to the other, “about such and such?” Last year she was very nice. At Christmas time, at a masquerade ball, she wore a wonderful costume depicting Diana pursued by hunters; She intrigued so many people, and now?! He doesn’t go anywhere, he just goes to church and reads holy books, imagine! - Yes, she became abnormal! This is the verdict of this world. While she served the enemy, she was considered smart and interesting, and when she went over to the side of Christ, she became abnormal. True, it depends on what you take as the norm: if it is a renunciation of Christ, then it is indeed abnormal. And the world condemns her and laughs at her. But we must endure everything, endure everything and remain faithful to Christ. The first Christians did just that. They, despite the torment, firmly held on to Christ. For example, they bring St. to the ruler for interrogation. Theodora Tiron 348. - Who are you? - asks the tormentor. “Before,” answered Theodore, “I was a slave of such and such a person, and now I am a slave of Christ the Savior.” - But why did you switch from such a rich gentleman to Christ? - the torturer objected. - Because I knew the truth. – But if you do not renounce Christ, I will torture you. “Torment,” answered the saint. “The Lord will give me strength to endure all your torment.” You can torture my body, but you cannot touch my soul. And Theodore endured all the suffering with firmness, remaining faithful to Christ. True, there were those who renounced. The sight of boiling cauldrons with hot tin, where people were thrown alive, and they turned to ashes, was terrible; or, for example, they hammered nails under the nails, chopped off the fingers, pulled out the veins from the hands and hung the martyrs on a tree on these veins, slowly burning them with fire and whittling the body with iron claws; they cut off the head... These and similar executions confused the faint-hearted, and they renounced. Today, Christians are not tortured in squares, they are not solemnly burned, Christian churches are open everywhere, and services are held in them; but here is a sad phenomenon - many fall away from Christ without suffering! The world persecutes the servants of Christ with ridicule and contempt, and many cannot stand it. – Have you started going to church often? - they ask the question sarcastically. - Of course, why not go on holidays, but you go almost every day. It seems that I have started observing fasts... Are you planning to join a monastery? Silence again. And another, completely insolent, will begin to pester: – You keep reading holy books, but have you read Nietzsche, etc.? Read it and you will see for yourself what they say. - Yes, and he will shower the inexperienced with the names of his gods (after all, they also have their own gods). “If you are religious,” she continues, “then you should consider the issue from all sides, and not be afraid to hear the opposite opinion.” There is no need to listen to such words. Don't read godless books. Remain faithful to Christ. If they ask you about faith, answer boldly. They will ask: – You seem to go to church often? – Yes, because I find satisfaction here. - Do you really want to become a saint? - Everyone, of course, wants to be a saint, but this does not depend on us, but on the Lord. “Aren’t you going to a monastery?” - No, I’m not going to the monastery. With similar answers, repel the enemy. Of course, sometimes it is very difficult, sorrows surround you from all sides, you even become despondent; This despondency especially attacks monastics. It seems that the Lord will also leave. And indeed, maybe. He retreated temporarily, but keeps a vigilant eye on such a soul and will not let it perish. The enemy hates monasteries, which is why he attacks the monks with such force. I remember when I was still in the world, the monastery seemed to me a terrible boredom: just pray and pray, radishes, and vegetable oil, and bows. But even when visiting aristocratic houses, I also experienced boredom. It used to happen that smart, learned people would gather together and you would think to hear something useful, but they would say nothing. They pass on city gossip, and if anyone starts to say something serious, they will laugh at him: here is a prophet! Yes, only empty, idle conversations, you won’t even hear serious music. Look, a magnificent piano costs several thousand, and there are good players, but no one will touch it. I moved more and more away from the world, although there was no major revolution. This falling away continued for ten years until I completely left him. The hardest thing for me was to leave the theater, opera (serious, of course), but something happened - and I left the theater. Now, thank God, I have completely left the world and become a monk, although I have departed, perhaps only externally; Blessed are those who have departed from it internally. Speaking about measure, I consider it my duty to say that this word does not mean people, but service to the passions, wherever it is performed. You can be both worldly nuns and live like a worldly person in a monastery. Black clothes in themselves do not save and white clothes do not destroy. I am not calling you to join a monastery, live in the world, but outside the world, and good will be for you. But the one whose heart “strings of life tremble” is not satisfied with the world. You don’t have to become despondent or despair because of sorrows, you have to endure. Many who begin to follow Christ are at first very demanding in their prayers: “Lord, make me a saint!” True, this request is legitimate, but holiness cannot be achieved immediately. There were examples of sinners immediately becoming saints, but these are exceptional examples, and we, sinners, are shown the path of gradual ascension. By doing this, you will not fall into the enemy’s snare. People say that you can’t give a beggar a million at once, because from the unwise use of money he will die himself and ruin others, but 30–40 rubles can put him on his feet. If people reason like this, then how much more so does the Lord distribute His gifts for benefit, and not for destruction. We must remember that the Lord loves us all and cares about us all, and therefore we must completely surrender ourselves to the will of God: do with me, Lord, what you want. You cannot become a saint, that is, learn to fulfill God’s commandments, without labor, and this labor is threefold: it consists of prayer, fasting and vigil 349. The Gospel says that one day they brought a demon-possessed man to the disciples of Christ. No matter how much the apostles tried to drive out the evil spirit, he did not listen and said: “I will not come out.” Then the demoniac was taken to Christ, and the Lord Himself cast out the demon. The disciples, left alone with Christ, said to Him with a tinge of reproach: “Why weren’t we able to drive him out?” The Lord first said: “Because of your unbelief.” Then he added: This same generation (i.e., evil spirits) does not come out except through prayer and fasting 350. So, prayer, fasting and sobriety, that is, preserving our thoughts and feelings, make us conquerors of the enemies of our Salvation. The most difficult of these things is prayer. Every virtue, as a result of exercise, turns into a skill, and prayer until death requires self-motivation and is a consequence of achievement. Prayer is difficult because our old man resists it, but it is also difficult because the enemy rises with all his might against the one praying. Prayer is a taste of death for the devil. Although he has already died spiritually, prayer seems to strike him again, and therefore he resists it in every possible way. Even saints, such as St. Seraphim, it seems, should only be consoled by prayer, but at times it is difficult for them too. True, prayer brings with it high consolations, not only to the righteous, but also to the sinner. Our famous poet Lermontov, who ended his life so sadly in a duel, also experienced the sweetness of prayer and described it in his poem: Like a burden will roll off your soul, Unfortunately, prayer did not save Lermontov, since he expected only delight from it, but did not want to endure the labor of prayer. The enemy attacks strongly, inspiring despondency, despair and some inexplicable fear. There she was afraid of fear, where there was no fear 352. Sometimes a person feels completely powerless and gives up, but such sadness is illegal: you need to resist the machinations of the enemy through prayer and the sign of the cross, in which an incomprehensible power is hidden. The second means of obtaining salvation is fasting. Fasting can be twofold: external and internal. The first is abstinence from modest food, the second is abstinence from all our senses, especially vision, from everything unclean and nasty. Both posts are inextricably linked with each other. Some people pay all their attention only to the external post, without understanding the internal one at all. For example, such a person comes into society somewhere, conversations begin, in which very often there is condemnation of his neighbors. He takes an active part in them and steals a lot from his neighbor’s honor. But then it’s time for dinner. The guest is offered a quick meal: a cutlet, a piece of pig, etc. He resolutely refuses. “Well, eat,” the owners persuade, “after all, it’s not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth!” “No, I’m strict about this,” he declares, completely unaware that by judging his neighbor, he has already broken and even completely destroyed the fast. This is why sobriety and preservation of one’s thoughts and all feelings in general is so necessary. Working for his salvation, a person little by little cleanses his heart, and instead of the former envy, hatred and malice, love is planted in him. The ancient Christians lived in complete harmony and love, they had everything in common. The apostles had nothing of their own, but those who were sufficient brought various food and property to the feet of the apostles, and distributed the same to all those in need. They gathered together for the supper of love and partook of the proposed meal; That’s what you and I tasted today. I have nothing, but all God-loving souls are zealous for me; I only share these gifts between the laity and the monastic brethren. There comes the famous Fr. Gregory mysteriously knocks on the door of some monk and conveys consolation to him. – Who should I pray for? - he asks. “You weigh their names 353 Lord,” answers Fr. Grigory. When the Lord Jesus Christ sent His disciples to preach, He said: When they bring you into the synagogues, to the rulers and powers, do not worry about how or what to answer or what to say: for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that hour what you should say 354. And the words of the Lord were fulfilled: simple illiterate fishermen conquered the entire Universe with their teaching. The wise men of this age could not resist the Holy Spirit. The same Holy Spirit now works through the Holy Scriptures and through people devoted to God. That is why holy books, in particular. The lives of the saints have such a beneficial effect on the human soul, because they contain the word of life. In the works of unbelievers: Renan, Nietzsche and others, there is the word of death, because such darkness, melancholy and despair cover the soul from such reading, as if dark fogs descend from all sides and envelop a person’s heart. And the word of the Holy Spirit gives life. This fact is known in history. The formidable conqueror Attila moved to Western Europe. His huge hordes destroyed everything in their path, and then Attila approached the walls of Rome. Rome, with its countless treasures and loud glory, aroused Attila's desire to humble him. The Romans, feeling that they would not be able to resist Attila, tremblingly awaited death, and St. Pope Leo 355 went to Attila's camp and persuaded him to retreat from the city. Attila listened silently to the great old man, and his thoughts wavered. Companions of the formidable conqueror persuaded him not to listen to the pope and move towards the city. An army of millions was ready, when suddenly Attila suddenly exclaimed decisively: The surprised warriors looked questioningly at Attila. - Back! - he repeated decisively, and the army moved back. When they were already beyond the Danube, and perhaps beyond the Dnieper, the soldiers asked Attila why he did not take the city, but listened to some old man. “Because I could not resist the irresistible power of his words,” answered the conqueror. Indeed, the Holy Spirit spoke through St. Papa Leo, that is why man could not resist this word. Something similar happened with our great half-faith poet Pushkin. He was in full glory, his poems aroused delight not only in Russia, but also abroad; there was not, and, it seems, there will not be a verse equal to it in musicality and sonority. But these poems were about the earthly and perishable, as the poet himself says: Madness, laziness and passions... And the word of Metropolitan Philaret of Moscow 356 had a tremendous influence on this poet, forcing him to think about his life and repent of wasting his time. Once Metropolitan Filaret served in the Assumption Cathedral. Pushkin went there and, crossing his arms as usual, stood rooted to the spot throughout the long sermon, afraid to miss even a word. After mass he returns home. -Where have you been for so long? - asks the wife. “Oh, leave it alone,” said Pushkin and, putting his head in his hands, began to sob. - What's wrong with you? – the wife was alarmed. - Nothing, give me paper and ink quickly. And so, under the impression of Metropolitan Philaret’s sermon, Pushkin wrote his wonderful poem “Stanzas” 357 for which the Lord probably forgave him a lot. In hours of fun or idle boredom Madness, laziness and passions. But even then the strings of evil Involuntarily I interrupted the ringing, When your voice is majestic I shed streams of unexpected tears, And the strength of meek and loving Rejected the darkness of earthly vanities: The poet is in holy horror 358. The last couplet is especially remarkable. Pushkin, of course, did not hear the seraphic singing, but, obviously, meant by this something great, with which only the words of Metropolitan Philaret can be compared. We are grateful to Pushkin that he left us such a monument about Metropolitan Philaret. My children, read the Holy Scriptures and the works of the holy teachers of the Church, since the Holy Spirit Himself speaks through them. And let us not read such “teachers” who seek to tear us away from Christ. May the Lord save us from them! Let us follow only Christ's teaching and we will be saved. Khomyakov has a wonderful poem “Stars”, in which he compares the firmament with billions of stars with the teaching of the Galilean fishermen, that is, with the Gospel: At midnight near the stream The masses walk there orderly But look into them with your eyes - The stars disappeared into the night in darkness. Look again - and darkness after darkness They will tire your timid gaze: At the hour of midnight silence. Look with your soul at the Scriptures The endless vault of heaven You will see - the stars of thoughts guide There is a secret choir around the earth. Look again - and there in the distance Stars of thoughts of darkness after darkness, They rise, they rise without number, Yes, truly the teaching of Christ is capable of kindling even cold hearts. The fire has come and been brought to earth 359 - says the Savior. All those who follow Christ are covered and saved by the grace of God. Recently I had a girl of about seven with her mother. I ask the girl: “Valya,” adds the mother. “Well, Valya, don’t freak out,” I tell her. I don’t know why I said this, only today they came to me again. “Father,” says the mother, “do you know what happened to Valya?” There was an open cellar in our floor, but my girl didn’t notice and, having tripped, fell straight into the cellar, and it was deep. My husband and I thought in horror that she had fallen to death, but she remained alive and unharmed. What a miracle! Well, we remembered your words: “Valya, don’t go crazy!” After all, the enemy seeks to destroy a person, but the grace of God saves. May the Lord save us from the terrible and gloomy cellar, which is various enemy machinations, laid out for us everywhere by the enemy. Yesterday I celebrated mass in the cathedral. Many children received communion; everyone approaches calmly, it is clear that they are united with Christ. Suddenly a girl of two and a half years old is brought to the Holy Chalice. She screamed loudly, then, freeing the leg, hit the chalice. I was stunned: the Holy Gifts could have spilled onto the floor! I don’t know how I held the cup in my old hands. That’s right, the Guardian Angel, who always stands invisibly next to us, weakened the force of the blow. I ask what the girl’s name is, they say: “Zinaida.” Her aunt brought it, since her mother is an unbeliever and never goes to church. The aunt barely managed to snatch the girl from her mother’s arms for communion. And I thought, what lies ahead for this child? The Lord knows the fate of every person. They say that something similar happened to Tolstoy as a child. May the Lord save and have mercy on us all! Peace be with you! Amen. December 30, 1912 Christmastide I will begin my conversation with the same words as last time: “Today the grace of the Holy Spirit has gathered us together.” With my pastoral word, I testify to you that you accomplished a feat by coming here from different places on the great feast of the Nativity of Christ. I firmly believe that the merciful Lord will reward you. How, I don’t know, but it will not leave you either in this life or in the next. Even forty to fifty years ago, this time from the Nativity of Christ to Epiphany was called holy days. It was on holy days, they said. Now these two words have been shortened into one: “Christmas time”. What is meant by this word now? Usually the period of time is from Christmas to Epiphany, but often this concept is combined with the concept of sinful pleasures, of which there are so many at this time. The enemy mocks Christians, and the time in which the mystery of our salvation was accomplished turns into a time of committing all kinds of vices. That is why I called it a feat that you left all worldly pleasures - theaters, balls, masquerades, etc., and came to our quiet abode to spend these days in prayer, spiritual conversation and moving away from worldly vanity. Here you fasted and received the Holy Mysteries; it is a great thing to accept the Lord Himself into yourself. In the Sacrament of repentance or, what is the same thing, confession, bills of exchange are torn, that is, the handwriting of our sins is destroyed, and Communion of the true Body and Blood of Christ gives us the strength to be reborn spiritually. True, this does not happen immediately and, perhaps, imperceptibly for us: the Kingdom of God will not come with the observance of 360, but there is no doubt that this rebirth will happen sooner or later, and we will begin a new life, life in Christ. There is also the great Sacrament of Blessing of Oil, or Unction. In this sea of ​​God’s mercy all our forgotten sins are drowned, and everyone has many of them. Life is complicated; the enemy strongly attacks those who want to be saved, but the sacraments, prayer and the sign of the cross destroy all the intrigues and do “like nothing.” Life is a book. Its pages are the events of our lives, everything from important to insignificant cases. There is nothing in our life that does not matter, but we often do not understand this, and only minds enlightened by Divine grace understand the meaning of each case. There are typos in the book. There are mistakes in life, often difficult to correct, and the Lord can correct them... Books can be thin, voluminous and even multi-volume; so is human life. The question often arises: why does a baby die? Why does the old man live? Why is it that as soon as a man was born, he cried, he was baptized, and the Lord takes his life, while another lives to a ripe old age? The book of a baby is thin, just a few leaves, but the book of an old man is multi-volume. All this is the mystery of God, which we cannot comprehend. A story by the mother of the famous Decembrist Ryleev, published at one time in a magazine 361, has been preserved. Ryleeva was a widow and had an only son, whom she loved with all her soul. And then one day her five or six year old son gets sick. They treated him for a long time, and finally, the doctors, having sentenced him to death, left, since they had nothing left to do, and the mother knelt before the icons and began to fervently pray for the salvation of her son. In the midst of prayer, a light sleep fell on her, and she saw a large square, the sounds of military music, the roar of the crowd. Suddenly the scaffold moves forward, there is a gallows on it, her son is brought onto the scaffold and hanged... Ryleeva wakes up in fear. - God! - exclaimed the grief-stricken mother. “I know that this dream is not a dream, but was sent to enlighten me, but still I pray to You, let my son live!” The Lord heard her prayer: the son recovered, to the great amazement of the doctors, who attributed such a case to unknown causes (however, the doctors at that time were believers). Many years passed, Ryleev grew up, became friends with people who rejected God and all that was holy, who wanted to close all churches and stop worship, and who also rebelled against autocratic power. They formed an alliance with the goal of overthrowing the autocracy and establishing a republic. But this alliance was discovered, and the participants, including Ryleev, were executed. And in reality, Ryleev’s mother saw a large square, crowds of people, and the sounds of military music. They erected a scaffold, a gallows on it, and Ryleev was hanged. His mother did not complain, did not despair, but said with firmness: Thou art righteous, O Lord, and rule Thy judgments! 362 The Lord knows better than us what is useful for us and what is harmful, therefore we must entrust ourselves to His guidance. Stay in the Church, be faithful to Christ God. Just today I read the following story in Moskovskie Vedomosti. One young girl, a beauty, met a young man, also very handsome, at a ball, and they fell in love with each other. Almost right there he proposed to her, and she, of course, without asking her parents, expressed her consent. They got married, live for a month, two, three and drown in bliss; She thought she would live her whole life in happiness, but it turned out differently. Her husband loved women and began to leave such a beautiful wife for others. At first she only slightly remarked to him about his frequent absence, then quarrels began. He started taking money from her; At first she willingly gave, but his demands became more and more impudent, and when she once refused him, he beat her until she was black and blue. In addition to women, the husband became addicted to wine and stole everything from the house. It was hard for my wife, not so much physically, but she was mentally exhausted. What it was like for her to look at her debunked idol! Finally, the mother took pity on her daughter and invited her to move in with her. The daughter took with her her only treasure - her five-year-old son. The husband came here demanding money. He could no longer beat her here, but he showered her with caustic words... “You’ve fallen out of love,” he said. “No, and now I love you,” the wife objected, “give up your dissolute life, and I will return to you again.” I still have some crumbs, we will live on them, and I also have the right to an inheritance from my parents. But the husband did not want to change. Then one day he comes to his wife. The doorman won't let him in. “I just need to see Nadya,” he says; That's right, he slipped something to the doorman, and he let him through. He came to his wife. - Give me some money! - he exclaimed. - Oh, won’t you? Then there you go! - and her husband stabbed her five times with a Finnish knife. She fell, bleeding profusely. And the little son saw all this. What an example he received for the rest of his life! The killer ran away and she was buried. Sad story! But why did I tell it to you? First of all, in order to show you that there can be no happiness outside the Church, and they met at a ball, where, of course, there was no thought about God. It seems to me that even then they lived outside the Church. Today many heretics have multiplied; they consider themselves true believers. But what kind of faith is this when I admit it and then reject it? I happened to talk to Tolstoyans: how gloomy their worldview is, full of despair, no light! It was hard for me. “Here is your teacher lying on his deathbed, tell him that here is a shepherd who can reconcile him with God,” but I was not allowed to see Tolstoy. I also repeat: do not go to meetings of heretics that can destroy your soul. We live in terrible times. People who profess Jesus Christ and attend the church of God are subjected to ridicule and condemnation. These ridicule will turn into open persecution, and do not think that this will happen in a thousand years; no, it's coming soon. I won't live to see it, but some of you will. And torture and torment will begin again, but good will be for those who remain faithful to Christ our Lord. I hope that you will all remain faithful to Him and not turn away from your Lord. Pray that the Lord will send you a Christian death: “We ask for a Christian death of our life, painless, shameless, peaceful and a good answer at the Last Judgment of Christ.” Death is the crown of life, and goodness to those who are worthy of Christian death. One bishop, when pronouncing this litany, always bowed to the ground. And don’t forget, if not to bow to the ground, then to bow from the waist or at least focus your attention on this petition. And note that people who believe in God and actually fulfill His holy law die calmly, while the death of atheists is usually terrible. All educated people know the famous German writer Goethe. At the end of his life, he reached such madness that, while worshiping the pagan god Zeus, he rejected Christ and mocked Him. True, in his work “Faust” good triumphs over evil - perhaps because “Faust” was written at the best time of Goethe’s life, when he still believed. His death was terrible. “Light, more light”! – he shouted in his death throes. Obviously, eternal darkness was already beginning to envelop his soul, and he remembered the ever-present Light, but it was too late. No matter how hard Goethe’s admirers try to explain his last words in his favor, the truth remains in all its force. Another famous writer, Schiller, always recognized God. He was an idealist; and his works take you away from the petty vanity of life. Dying, he said: “I am calm.” It was not the calm of despair, but the calm sent by God for faith in Him. Yes, the death of Nevers and blasphemers is terrible, and now there are so many of them! The writer Spencer characterizes many people this way: “People are pieces of wood, but their heart is a ruble.” What a profit from a piece of wood and from a ruble, and this expression very aptly characterizes people who are immersed only in petty earthly interests and do not think at all about other, higher ideals. “The Christian death of our belly is painless, shameless, peaceful and we ask for a good answer at the Last Judgment of Christ.” And, indeed. The Lord is not mocked 363, and the law of retribution remains in full force. Sinners are punished not only in the future, but also in this life. In the Lives of the Saints, among the host of examples, let us consider at least one - from the life of St. Martyr Agafya 364. She was subjected to the most terrible tortures, wanting to force her to renounce Christ, but the martyr remained unshaken. Finally, her head was beheaded with a sword, and the tormentor, having plundered her wealth, pleased with himself, went to Rome to the Emperor Decius, carrying the treasures of Agathia. We reached the river, put the horses on the ferry, when suddenly one of the horses rushed at the tormentor, chewed his face, and then, taking his clothes with its teeth, threw him into the water. She didn’t touch anyone else. So this tormentor was executed by the Justice of God during his lifetime. And so it is in everything. Earthly wisdom is nothing in comparison with heavenly wisdom, although earthly knowledge is useful to us in this life, it does not lead us to the Kingdom of Light. Here's another story. St. was captured for interrogation. Dorofey 365 and threatened with torture, but she remained firm. “If you don’t renounce,” said the tormentor, “then I will cut off your fingers, pull out the veins and hang you on a tree with them, and I will scorch you from below with slow fire.” “Do what you want,” answered the saint. The first minister of the emperor, a highly educated man named Theophilus, addressed Dorotheus with mocking words: – Do you hope that you will go to Heaven? “I hope so,” answered the martyr, “if I remain faithful to Christ.” “I don’t know,” said Dorothea, “but I believe that the Lord will lead me there.” - Send me some apples from there. When the martyr's head was beheaded with a sword, a youth appeared with a basket of fruits and, giving them to Theophilus, became invisible. The appearance and taste of the fruit were extraordinary, and Theophilus exclaimed: He rejected the wisdom of this age and entered into the obedience of faith... I can’t prepare for my conversations: I’ll get tired here with the people, and then – letters, urgent telegrams, business around the monastery. Look, there is an hour and a half left until Matins, which we have at 12 o’clock at night. Then I do all sorts of things again, and after lunch I rest a little, otherwise, due to the infirmity of old age, I become lethargic and powerless. And there again a reception of people, and so on all the time. I remember when I was still in the world, having once visited the Gethsemane monastery, I was surprised that they had Matins at 12 o’clock at night. – When would you think about it? – the abbot asked me. “No,” he answered, “it is necessary to get up at 12 o’clock at night, since there is a tradition, although not written down anywhere, but in which both the Eastern and Western Churches believe, that Christ will come to judge the world at midnight.” “Behold, the Bridegroom comes at midnight, and blessed is the servant whose watch will be found” 366. This is why midnight prayer is so important! If you really can’t go to Matins, then at least you need to pray at home at this time. Church prayer is important; the best thoughts and feelings come in church; True, the enemy attacks more strongly in the church, but drive him away with the sign of the cross and the Jesus Prayer. It’s good to stand in some dark corner of the church and pray to the Lord. “Woe are our hearts!” 367 - the priest exclaims, and our minds often wander along the ground, thinking about indecent things. Fight it! Pray to God that my poor word will bring you spiritual benefit. Father o. Ambrose told his listeners: - Oh, how I would like to take you to the springs of water! 368 “Yes, I wasn’t there myself,” answered Fr. Ambrose, - but I really want to be there. In reality, Fr. Ambrose imperiously led his admirers to sources of living water. So you have gathered here, and maybe one of you is thinking: “My parents are old, they will die, I will be left alone, I need to get married.” Well, this is a good thing. The Lord will send such a man after his heart. And the other raises the tone higher: “It’s scary to get married, what if your husband cheats and leaves you, and also worries about children - it’s better to enter a monastery - to work for the One God,” and God blesses such an intention. And another wants, while remaining in the world, to live in virginity and chastity; may such a Lord help! Read the Holy Scriptures, as well as the Lives of saints, especially the holy great martyrs Catherine, Barbara, Irina, Evdokia 369, because the saint gives a piece of his strength to those who read his life with faith and will help during the ordeal. The Holy Scriptures are the book of life, but the writings of heretics are the book of death. Do not read them so that the darkness of doubt does not envelop your soul. True, the Lord calls everyone to salvation. One Englishman, James, wrote his confession in which he tells why he became an Orthodox Christian 370. It happened like this. James and a friend (Orthodox) went for a ride one day. On the way they saw a chapel, and their friend decided to go there. - Can I? – asked James. His comrade went to venerate the icon of the Mother of God, and James looked at the icon and thought: “What if I come too?” Suddenly a great miracle happened: the Light-Bearing Woman, the Queen of Heaven herself, approached James and placed Her omophorion on him. James experienced inexplicable bliss and irrevocably followed Christ, becoming Orthodox. But perhaps there were many unbelievers in the chapel, why did the Mother of God approach James specifically? This is a mystery that we will not try to comprehend. Some say that the sciences and arts, especially music, regenerate a person, giving him high aesthetic pleasure; but that's not true. Under the influence of art, music, singing, etc., a person really experiences pleasure, but it is powerless to regenerate it. When I was still in the world, I really loved music, and in particular, playing the harmonium; The piano cannot convey the depth of feeling like that. The famous composer Paskhalov lived in Kazan. To improve my playing, I began taking lessons from him. We often had conversations with him. “But your soul has completely died,” I told him one day. - Where did you get this from? - he objected. “Yes, from your own words,” I answered, “you don’t go to church, you don’t participate in the sacraments.” “Well, so what of this,” continued Paskhalov, “I believe in God and serve Him with the gift that I have.” Doesn't music take me away from everything earthly? and I feel great pleasure. It seems that no one understands the works of musician-artists as much as I do: Mozart, Beethoven, Meyerbeer, etc. “And yet this aesthetic pleasure cannot replace religion,” I objected to him (and then I said what the Lord inspired me), “there are several doors for entering the Kingdom of Heaven: you have already entered one door, this door is baptism.” - And the other is repentance, otherwise confession. Haven't you fasted for a long time? - Yes, about twenty years. I remember I fasted in high school, then twice as a student, already without faith, and when I went to France to take lessons from a famous musician, I haven’t fasted since then. - You see! And the third door is Holy Communion. – Do you believe that there is America? - Of course, every student at a parish school knows this. - Well, if someone said: I don’t believe that America exists, then of course that wouldn’t make it cease to exist? So the great Sacrament of the Body and Blood of Christ remains in full force, despite the fact that you do not believe in it. – Yes, indeed, you are right; however, no one has ever spoken to me like that before. - Well, Alexander Vasilyevich, go to church this Sunday, at least to the Church of the Epiphany, listen to the singers there, pray. And on Tuesday we will have a lesson, we will talk to you. “Okay, I agree,” said Paskhalov. – You say that art regenerates the soul, but in reality it turns out differently. You drink, you know that it’s bad, but you can’t stop – you don’t have the strength; then, they divorced their wife and did not remain faithful to her, and the Holy Scripture says that neither fornicators nor drunkards will inherit the Kingdom of God (by the way, Paskhalov’s wife married the famous writer Mordovtsev). Paskhalov thought about it. Apparently the conversation made an impression on him. Three days passed, and Paskhalov came to me with a notebook in his hands. “Let me play my latest piece,” he said, pointing to the notebook. “Please,” I answer, “but why the latter?” - That's how I feel. I recently leafed through Polonsky’s poems and stopped at the verse “Bad Dead”; So I decided, for the last time, to set it to music. “Well, the last is the last,” I told him, “I’ll be very glad to listen.” At that time we ourselves did not understand what we were saying. – Do you remember what Lemm said when Lavretsky came to him? 371 – “Sit down and listen, for I am a great musician.” “So I’ll tell you the same,” said Paskhalov, smiling, and began to play. Never before or later have I heard such sounds, full of power and inspiration. I was living in furnished rooms at the time, and the entire corridor was filled with people. Students, young ladies - everyone was eager to listen to the great composer. - After all, it’s Paskhalov playing! Please don’t close the door, they told me. Finally, he came. I approached him. Paskhalov lowered his head into his hands, and tears flowed from his eyes in streams. “I won’t study music anymore... I don’t want to split myself, I feel that you are right,” said Paskhalov, calming down somewhat. – Remember the story about the great artist Van Dyck? When he went to the monastery, he no longer wanted to be divided between the love of God and art, and therefore, despite the advice of the abbot, who suggested that he paint icons, he threw his palette, brushes and paints into the Tagus River flowing near the monastery. I will leave everything and come to you for instructions. - Oh no! – I exclaimed. – I cannot teach you, but go to the professor of the Kazan Theological Academy Anthony 372 (who later became the Metropolitan of St. Petersburg), he will instruct you. And most importantly, stop drinking wine! Paskhalov promised. Several days passed. Suddenly an acquaintance who knew Paskhalov well comes to see me. “And I come to you with news,” he began. - Paskhalov died. Then he told the sad details of the death of the famous composer. Paskhalov fulfilled his word and visited Fr. Anthony, who, by the way, did not advise him to give up music, but to start transcribing church hymns. I also made him promise not to drink. Paskhalov did not drink for three or four days, but on the fifth day he left home and returned late at night. The maid who opened the door for him saw with horror that Paskhalov was being led by some kind of monster with huge sparkling eyes; pushing him into the door, the monster said: “Take your master!” Paskhalov was completely drunk. “What is it, Alexander Vasilyevich,” the maid noted, “you didn’t want to drink, but now you’re drunk again?” Paskhalov did not answer, but the next morning he was found in his room having committed suicide. And the enemy appeared to one of the composer’s relatives and shouted with hellish laughter: - Oh, he wanted to be saved! No, I'll strangle him! And, indeed, he strangled him. All of Kazan came together for the funeral of the famous composer. His body was buried in flowers. Then they collected a large sum of money and erected a magnificent monument to him. I, too, was at the funeral and, walking behind the coffin, I thought sadly: what does he need now for this celebration, when his soul has perished. Of course, it is unknown how the Lord will reward him, but may God save us all from such a death. Believe in the Lord, fulfill His holy law to the best of your ability, and I believe that you will be saved. Never despair. Otherwise, this happens: the soul becomes sad, and not just some unbeliever, but the soul of a true Christian. And she fulfills the commandments to the best of her ability, and fasts, and keeps fasts, but suddenly it seems to her that the Lord hates her. What a diabolical thought! Scripture says that the Lord hates only the proud; He even tolerates and accepts Jews and Mohammedans if they turn to Him from their unbelief; and suddenly he hates the Christian soul! No, the Lord loves everyone, and this thought of God’s hatred is the arrow of an enemy who envies man. He sent a lot of arrows, and this is the last one, which must be broken and thrown into the face of the enemy, that is, such a thought must be completely neglected. Today is December 30, and there are only two days left of the old year... The year is ending, and we are summing up what we have done during this time. Of course, everyone has made many mistakes and mistakes, but let us hope in God’s mercy and wish each other not new happiness, but new grace of God. Amen. January 1, 1913 Homily for the New Year (after the Liturgy) Happy New Year to all of you gathered here. I congratulate you on the joys that the Lord will send you in the coming year. I congratulate you on the sorrows that will also inevitably visit us this year, perhaps today, perhaps tomorrow, or soon. However, do not be embarrassed and do not be afraid of sorrows. Sorrows and joys are closely connected with each other so that joy brings sorrow and sorrow brings joy. This seems strange to you, but remember the words of the Savior: When a woman is in labor, she has sorrow, because her year is come: but when the child gives birth, he who does not remember the sorrow for the joy that a man was born into the world 373 . Day follows night, and night follows day, inclement weather - a bucket 374; So sorrow and joy replace one another. The Apostle Paul spoke a threatening word to those who do not tolerate any punishment from God: If you remain unpunished, you are illegitimate children 375. There is no need to be discouraged, let those who do not believe in God be discouraged; For those, of course, grief is heavy, since they have nothing except earthly pleasures. But believers should not be discouraged, since through sorrow they receive the right to sonship, without which it is impossible to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. “The youths were blessed with good upbringing, were not heedless of the evil command, were not afraid of the fiery rebuke, but stood in the midst of the flames; Fathers, God, blessed are you" 376. Tribulation is a “fiery rebuke” or test, but we should not be afraid of them, but, like the venerable youths, sing to God in sorrows, believing that they are sent by God for our salvation. May the Lord save us all and bring us into the Kingdom of the Unstoppable Light! Amen. January 6, 1913 Epiphany Today, while signing a book by one of my spiritual daughters entitled “Invisible Warfare” and setting the date January 6, I remembered that this is precisely the day of the death of Bishop Theophan, who translated this book from Greek into Russian. Bishop Theophan did not translate it word for word, but conveyed the spirit of this book, like Zhukovsky, who, when translating Schiller, was so imbued with the spirit of this poet that the translation was difficult to distinguish from the original. I was unable to serve today. I caught a cold during confession on Friday. There were about thirty confessors, and therefore the confession lasted quite a long time. I stood at the window and felt that the cold was penetrating me, but I considered it inconvenient to stop confession or postpone it to another day, and I became so ill that I could not serve at Epiphany... We had a great old man in Optina Hermitage, Fr. Macarius. He was once having a conversation with a visitor and, sitting by the window, he also caught a cold. I felt like it was blowing hard, but I didn’t want to leave the conversation unfinished. From this cold o. Macarius was then ill all his life, and died from this disease. I have already told you and I repeat again that you accomplished a feat by coming to our quiet abode for the holidays, using your small means, obtained through honest, and often very hard, labor. I think that you have rested your soul here. You received communion of the Body and Blood of Christ and received consolation from the Lord according to the acceptability of each - one more, the other less, but still, I think, you received everything. Perhaps your body also rested here, although you endured some inconveniences. Our hotel is small and only allows you to stay for three or four days. We had to rent premises from peasants, who, of course, cannot provide many amenities. May the Lord reward you for everything! Now you are returning to your studies again, your working life will begin again, perhaps full of sorrows. What to do? Sorrows are inevitable, although we would like to avoid them. Life appears to us as a white stripe, on which there are black dots - sorrows, from which we would like to get rid of as quickly as possible, but in fact, life is a black stripe, and white dots - consolations - are scattered on it. “You will be in a world of sorrow,” said Christ, “but dare, for I have overcome the world 377.” Where can we find consolation in the sorrows that surround us on all sides? It is necessary to delve deeper into yourself, into your inner world, since there lies a source of consolation. Scientists go abroad for vacation, under the southern sky of Sicily, and we delve into our hearts, which contain a whole wonderful world, perhaps unknown to many. But how to enter it? The only key is the Jesus Prayer, which opens the door to this world for us. But in order to delve deeper into the inner world, solitude is necessary. Some saints fled for this into the deepest deserts and left everyone and everything just to practice the Jesus Prayer. The famous ascetic Luke of Greece 378 fled into the desert to improve in prayer, since the constant crowds of people who came for advice and consolation prevented him from concentrating; he acted like Arsenius the Great, who was taught by the Lord Himself: “Flee people and you will be saved” 379. The question arises: did Luke act legally by leaving the masses to save his own soul? Quite legal. Scientists, in order to publish some scientific work, withdraw from society and delve into their work. A student, preparing for an exam, goes to a separate room, and if there is none, then often, closing his ears so as not to hear anything extraneous, he crams his subjects. Isn’t it even more true that a saint has the right to solitude to prepare himself for eternal life? And he moves away from people not out of hatred for them, not because of his selfishness, but even there, in the desert, he serves the same world with a prayer for us to the Lord. The Mother of God once appeared to one schema-monk and asked him: “I am Your most sinful and unworthy servant, O Lady,” he answered. – What does “schemnik” mean? The elder found it difficult to answer. Then the Lady Mother of God herself explained to him: - The schema monk is a prayer book for the whole world. So, the saints, moving away from people, do not cease to love them and with their prayers turn away the wrath of God from sinners. One famous writer, Walter Scott, says that if he were offered the choice of a life full of contentment and wealth, but deprived of the opportunity to be alone with himself, and on the other hand - solitary prison, he would choose the latter. Here we are gathered in my modest cell for a spiritual conversation, walls surround us, there is a ceiling above us, a roof behind it, and there is heaven, in heaven there is an angelic world. At this moment the Angels are looking at us, seeing our heart, knowing our thoughts and helping us. The Guardian Angel is especially close to us, who constantly prays for us and strives to guide us to all good things and protect us from all evil. Therefore, each of us is obliged to pray to our Guardian Angel both morning and evening: “Holy Angel of God, My Guardian, pray to God for me, a sinner.” You also need to call upon the saint whose name you bear every day. The world of evil spirits is now looking at us and is already forging feats, wanting to destroy the words of the sinful Barsanuphius, but do not be afraid! The Lord will save us from their evil power. Read the Holy Scriptures, the Gospels, the Epistles, and the Lives of the Saints. This reading is of great importance, but here’s what’s sad: The Lives of the saints are published, perhaps purchased by some, but most do not read them. Meanwhile, what great benefits can be derived from this reading! in it we will find answers to many of our questions, they will teach us how to get out of a difficult situation, how to resist when darkness envelops the soul on all sides, so that it seems as if God has abandoned us. Visit the church of God more often, especially in sorrow: it is good to stand in some dark corner, pray and cry from your heart. And the Lord will comfort you, He will certainly comfort you. And you will say: Lord, I thought that there was no way out of my difficult situation, but You, Lord, helped me! The path that leads to eternal life is narrow and sad. We walk, as it were, along the edge of a knife, and an abyss stretches on both sides. It's scary to plunge into it! Be careful, says the Apostle, how dangerously you walk 380. After this earthly life, we will face an exam that will decide our fate for all eternity; there will be no re-examinations. Earthly sciences will not help us pass this exam. Some scientists, knowing many sciences, do not know their soul at all and have no idea about spiritual life. Such a person will appear for this great exam, and they will ask him: “Have you kept the commandments of Christ, and if you have not done so, have you repented of it? Have you believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God? And this scientist, famous on earth, is a fool for such an exam. He not only did not fulfill the commandments, but did not even believe in God. What is his fate? He will not be allowed into the palace of the Heavenly King, and he will be thrown into the darkness of the underworld. After all, unbelievers are worse than demons. They hate God and tremble, and unbelievers even deny His existence. What consolation can they have in the afterlife? Earthly learning without faith will not come to the Kingdom of Heaven: neither will art introduce it there. Poets and artists experience high aesthetic pleasure, but this is only a spiritual feeling, it is not capable of regenerating the soul. Pushkin in his poem “The Prophet” calls life before spiritual rebirth a “dark desert”: I dragged myself in the dark desert... Poets and artists who were satisfied only with the delights received from art are like people who reached the portico of the royal palace, but did not enter the palace, although it was offered to them. But how can we be saved? How to enter the palace of the King of Heaven? There is a staircase there both from the monastery and from the world. You can be saved in both wealth and poverty. Poverty itself will not save you. But you can have millions, but have a heart with God and be saved. Here, for example, is Philaret the Merciful 381: he had enormous wealth, but with this wealth he acquired the Kingdom for himself by helping the poor and disadvantaged. Abraham was also very rich; His wealth at that time consisted of huge herds, but this did not prevent him from being saved. Or you can die in poverty, attached to money. For example, there was one beggar standing on the porch: he endured hunger and cold just to save money. He saved up forty to fifty rubles and died. And his soul went to hell, because it was attached to money, and not to God. Those who take refuge in monasteries are often reproached for selfishness: just think, they say, so-and-so entered a monastery! He did this and that in the world, brought so much benefit, and suddenly abandoned everything. It's just a sin! Do not be embarrassed by such speeches. If the Lord calls a person to serve Him in the monastic rite, then one must give up everything and follow the call of God. However, they are saved in the world, but with great difficulty. The Lives of the Saints tells about two women, two sisters, one of whom went to a monastery, and the other got married, and both of them were saved. True, the one who went to the monastery received the highest reward from the Lord, but both received salvation. But how can one be saved in the world when there are so many temptations there? The Apostle says: Do not love the world, nor those in the world 382. However, a reservation needs to be made here. The word “world” does not mean the Universe, but the base, vulgar, nasty, sinful. You can live in the world - outside the world. We need to determine where our heart is: is it with God or is it attached to something created. In the monastery of Optina Hermitage there lives one old ascetic, the creator of the Jesus Prayer, he is hiding from people in the depths of the Optina monastery. I will not tell you his name, since I am not authorized to do so, and anyway it will not tell you anything. When I lived in the Skete, I visited the elder. I remember once I asked him what he did when darkness and sorrow enveloped his soul on all sides. “Here it is,” he will answer! old man, “I’ll sit on this chair,” and he pointed to a leather armchair from which a washbasin could be seen. “I sit down and look into my heart, and there is complete darkness and storm.” Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner,” I repeat, “so what? Half an hour will not pass, you look into your heart - there is silence. Do you too, like this wise old man, go deep into your heart, even though you spend half an hour a day contemplating it, enter your heart with the Jesus Prayer and find peace of mind. Tyutchev says in his poem: And your feelings and dreams - Let it be in the depths of your soul Silently, like stars in the night, - How can the heart express itself? Will he understand what you live for? A spoken thought is a lie. Exploding, you will disturb the keys, - Just know how to live within yourself - There is a whole world in your soul Mysteriously magical thoughts; Listen to their singing - and be silent!.. 383 So, go deeper into your inner world, cleanse your heart from sinful filth by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Lord will save you and lead you into His Heavenly Palace. Amen. When God wanted to give people a law, He placed righteous Moses between Himself and the people. And Moses, in order to talk with God, climbed Mount Sinai. Moses did not stay with the people, but, leaving them at the foot of the mountain, went up alone. Why did he do this? Why couldn’t he talk with God while remaining among the people? I think because the people made it difficult for him to concentrate. Where there are people, there is vanity, and vanity drowns out the voice of the human soul. It is difficult to be with God while remaining among people, and we, following the example of the righteous Moses, will break away from the vanity and rumors of men and go to Sinai. Good there! It's good to be with the Lord! And on Tabor with Christ the Savior, perhaps, it’s even better. It was so good there that the Apostle Peter wanted to stay there forever: Lord, it is good for us to be here! Let’s create three canopies... 384 It’s good on Tabor, and many, many people went there. Some reached the half-mountain in this life, some climbed a little, and some died when they began to climb. And they are all God's. There are also those who are drawn to Tabor, want to begin to climb him, but it turns out that they will take a step forward and two steps back. They still don’t have the strength to truly move forward. But the Lord saves these too. He is strong to cover the weakness of people who strive for Him. He is strong to carry you not just two steps forward, but to bring you to the top of the mountain. Just move, and not mark time like angry geese. It happens that these birds, chatting something in their own way, mark time in one place without leaving it. So do some people. And among them are many writers. Pushkin, for example. There were moments of enlightenment for him, when he rushed to heaven, and his fantasy lifted him somewhat above the crowd, but the habit of obeying his passions and living for his own pleasure pulled him to the ground. And like an eagle with broken wings, he rushed to the sky, but crawled along the ground... It's scary to live like this! We need to go to Favor! But we must remember that there is only one way to Tabor: through Golgotha ​​- there is no other road. As we strive to live with God, we must prepare for many sorrows. Amen. For those who have not attended previous conversations, what I will now say will be news: artists always have a vein of asceticism in their souls, and the higher the artist, the brighter the flame of religious mysticism burns in him. Pushkin was an ascetic at heart and strove to enter a monastery, which he expressed in his poem “To his Wife” 385. And the monastery he was striving for was the Pskov-Pechersky Monastery. The idea of ​​going there, leaving his wife in the world for his children, had completely matured in him, but Satan did not sleep and did not allow this plan to come true. In general, I will note that as soon as someone makes a firm decision to enter a monastery, Satan begins a series of intrigues against him. From this we can directly see that monasticism is a rather unpleasant thing for Satan. Of course, about us, monks of recent times, it cannot be said that we waged a particularly active fight against the enemy - what kind of monks we are! But we still fight as best we can. But in the world this struggle has long been forgotten, Satan dictates laws to the world, and the world blindly follows him. Do not think that by saying this, I am calling you to the monastery. No! I only want to say that while living in the world, one should not forget God, one should not lose communication with Him, and as long as this connection is not broken, communication with God is not broken, the soul of a person lives, even if he has fallen into sins. When the connection is broken, the soul dies. It would seem like a contradiction: the soul is immortal, but I am talking about its death. Let me explain with an example. A girl of about nineteen comes to me, she doesn’t seem to be old yet, but she says that life has lost its meaning for her, since the man whom she loved with all her being has died. He died and she was left completely alone. - Alone... haven’t you lost your faith in God? - No, I believe in God... But understand, he died, the one I loved most in the world... And in the conversation it turns out that “died” should not be understood literally, that this person is alive, but he cheated on her, mocked her love, and abandoned her. For this girl, he really died, although, perhaps, they meet on the street, and she sees him. Likewise, the soul can die for God, because when communion with God is broken, then the soul ceases to exist for God. But God is able to resurrect and save even such a dead soul. I had one girl here from a merchant family with a colossal fortune. The enemy, when he wants to destroy a soul, begins by stealing her faith in God in order to cut off communication with Him - then she finds herself entirely in his hands. And he will direct his arrows at this girl. His instrument turned out to be one man, young in years, but old in his depravity and vices. And she fell in love with this man, and he began by stealing her faith in God. It’s so easy: “Who saw this? How can you believe this? All this is just superstitious nonsense.” And he brought her to the point where faith became in her eyes just an empty prejudice of ignorant people. And then... then he made her believe in the legality of free love and completely corrupted her, and then abandoned her. She reached such a state that she almost decided to commit suicide. But God is able to save such a soul, and He saved her, since in her soul there was always a smoldering spark of desire for heaven, for some ideal that she herself did not realize. An artist at heart, she loved music very much, especially minor music, and its sounds brought her thoughts about God. Her corrupter did not like this and often forcibly slammed the lid of the piano, protesting against these, as he put it, “calf tenderness.” He, a student by origin, was characterized by great rudeness; It was this rudeness, together with the innate melancholy and desire for God that lived in the girl’s soul, that saved her - now she is saved. She came here and was renewed in soul, and now she has married a good man. It is this spark of desire for communion with God that we must cherish, not allowing the surrounding darkness to extinguish it. I repeat again: our best writers strove for God, although now they have somehow forgotten about it; Students now don’t read anything and have no idea about Shakespeare or Pushkin. And these writers could lift them up from their everyday, gray everyday life and lead them to God. However, it must be said that although such reading can lead to thoughts about heaven, it leads, so to speak, in a roundabout way. It is better to choose the straight path that is open to us. It is better to read the works of the holy fathers of the Church, the Lives of the saints. Amen. Yesterday our conversation seemed unfinished, and I unexpectedly interrupted it. I had to do this because fatigue began to be noticed among some, and new arrivals appeared, tired from the journey. Who sits in Gogol's chair, M.A.? I asked because I want to start my speech today with Gogol. They called him crazy... Why? For the spiritual turning point that occurred in him and after which Gogol firmly followed the path of worship and pleasing God. How did this happen? In Gogol’s soul, as far as we can judge from his surviving letters, and even more from stories about his oral conversations, there was always dissatisfaction with life, he wanted a better life, but he could not find it: “The poor son of the desert had a dream...”. This is how one of his articles 386 begins. And he himself, and all of humanity, appeared to him in the image of this poor son of the desert. This state of humanity is depicted in the Psalter: there the people of God, hungering and thirsting, wandered through the desert, looking for a “habitable city,” and did not find it. So we all hunger and thirst for this “habitable city” and, looking for it, we also wander in the desert. This state of mind is also familiar to Lermontov, who in one of his poems complained that he could not find a “solid rock” to rest his foot on and firmly know what to love and sing. But Lermontov never found the “habitable city,” that is, the Kingdom of Heaven, and ended badly. Gogol's fate was different. We know from his biography that he was awarded a peaceful Christian death. How did he achieve this? There was one house in Moscow where all the color, all the cream, so to speak, of society of that time gathered, but not of the aristocratic society, but of the intelligentsia. This was the house of old man Pogodin 387. Speeches there were most often conducted on the topic of pleasing God. In those days, the interests of intelligent society were somewhat different than now. There were almost no atheists, there were doubters; They talked a lot about God and the Kingdom of Heaven. It also happened that Gogol was at Pogodin’s. With his characteristic exaltation, Gogol spoke a lot about his quests, about the fact that it is impossible to live the way he lives, and he does not know how to live. “I read it, and it told me that I can’t live like this, but I don’t know how to rebuild my life, how to make it holy.” – However, there were many people who pleased God: read the Lives of the Saints, especially the lives of the saints. A reverend is a person who has fulfilled the commandment: Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Heavenly Father is perfect 388. The monks purified their soul and sanctified it so that it became similar to God in its properties. We also encounter the concept of the similarity of objects in mathematics: one triangle is small, the other is large, but in its properties this small one is completely similar or similar to the large one, similar, but not equal. And in nature we often come across cases of similarity of objects. People who have become similar to God in the properties of their souls are called venerables. Previously, people were interested in their biographies, but now these books have been completely forgotten, to our great misfortune. – I read the Lives and this is what I came across: there were many saints, they all rushed to God, but they walked to Him in different ways. Imagine a circle: to the middle, to the center, many radii converge, they all go to one point, but from different sides - top, bottom, right, left. The center is Christ, the radii are people, saints, going to Him in different ways. One was saved through humility, another through patience, the third through reasoning, and all of these different paths came to God. And I want to go to God, but I cannot find the way to Him and I am not an imam. Gogol here meant the Gospel legend about the paralytic at the Pont of Siloam 389. Remember this legend. There are many sick people lying at the font, thirsty for healing. From time to time, the Angel of the Lord descends and disturbs the water, and the sick person who then plunges into the water first receives healing. He lies relaxed by the font; He has been waiting for healing for many years and does not receive it. Why? The person is not an imam - he does not have a person who would lower him into the healing water. So he lies relaxed, and God looks at him. By that paralytic we can understand all sick, paralyzed humanity, poor, infected with original sin and awaiting healing. Humanity languished, and God looked at it. Of course, with His omnipotent power, God could in an instant regenerate humanity, turn it from a sinner into a saint. The Lord was able to do this, but the Truth of God did not allow this. It was impossible to give Satan a reason to reproach God for injustice. To save humanity, a person was needed. For many centuries people waited for this Man and languished, like the paralytic at the Pont of Siloam. And so the God-Man came and redeemed humanity, cleansed it from original sin. Well, now we are lost again, again we are waiting for a person who would powerfully lead us to the sources of living water. So Gogol also languished, and expressed his languor to Pogodin. “Now I understand what you need, Nikolai Vasilyevich,” says the owner, “you need a person, don’t you?” - Do you understand? Only now do you understand? Can you help me? Can you identify such a person? - Yes! There is such a person. - We need to go to a monastery... At these words, Gogol immediately became ruffled. - To the monastery? What can you hear in a monastery? I visited Catholic monks in Italy; no, they did not give me satisfaction. – And yet I repeat to you: go to this monastery. – It’s called Optina Pustyn and is located in the Kaluga province. It's not that far from Moscow. You are a single person, you have no family (it is known that Gogol did not marry), and with the five-thousand-dollar pension given to you by order of the Sovereign, this trip will not be beyond your means. There is one elder in Optina, Hieroschemamonk Macarius, and you will talk to him. This is the person you are looking for. - Macarius? Somehow I've never heard this name. “That’s the trouble, that you don’t know this man.” You never know how many faces you have seen, how many representatives of art and science you have met, how many works of art you have admired... - Yes, yes, I was in Rome, I was, on the advice of my friends, in Dresden, and what wonderful moments I experienced looking at the works of ancient masters... I stood in front of Raphael’s Madonna, but you never know how many other works of art I saw... - You see, you had to see a lot, and the genius of art from the arts, life according to God, the elder Fr. You don’t know Macarius! - Okay, I’ll listen to you, do you hear? I will go, relying not on your scholarship, but trusting your sincerity. And I went. And arrived in Optina. Later, recently, another brilliant writer, Tolstoy, also came here, came to this door of mine and to the doors of another old man, Joseph, and left. Why? What prevented him from entering this or that door? Isn't it his pride? What can some old man say? And to whom?! Leo Tolstoy, before whom the whole world bowed!.. What should he talk about with these elders? He could not break his pride and left. Of course, this is just a guess, but who knows if it is close to the truth? Gone where? To eternity. Which one? It's scary to say! Oh! And all this happened, so to speak, before my eyes... It was different with Gogol. There is a legend that the elder Fr. Macarius foresaw the coming of Gogol. They say that he was in his cell at that time, and who knows, maybe it was in this very cell, since Gogol came right here. Father Macarius, quickly walking back and forth in his cell, said to the monk who was with him: “Something is worrying my heart.” It’s as if something extraordinary is about to happen, as if it’s waiting for someone. At this time they report that Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol has arrived. The Gospel tells that when the Greeks came to Jesus Christ, He rejoiced in spirit and said: The hour has come, that the Son of Man may be glorified 390. So, probably, Elder Macarius had a presentiment of the great glorification, but not of himself, but of the brilliant writer Nikolai Vasilyevich Gogol. And here Gogol is with the Elder. The conversation begins. It took place without witnesses, was not recorded by anyone, but God was present during it invisibly, and Divine grace transformed Gogol’s soul. How I would like, and I think you, too, would not refuse to listen to this wonderful conversation between the great Elder and the great writer. It was probably very informative and of great interest. Elder Macarius possessed the gift of powerful speech to the highest degree, and his speeches had a huge impact on the soul of the listener. Leaving the Elder, Gogol said: - Yes, they told me the truth, this is the only person I know who has the power and strength to lead to sources of living water. And Gogol was reborn. He himself said: “I entered the Elder alone, and came out another.” Gogol wanted to portray Russian life in all its diverse fullness. For this purpose, he began his poem “Dead Souls” and already wrote the first part. We know in what light Russian life is reflected there: the Plyushkins, Sobakeviches, Nozdrevs, Chichikovs - the whole book is a stuffy and dark cellar of vulgarity and base interests. Gogol himself was frightened by what he wrote, but consoled himself with the fact that it was only scum, only foam, which he had removed from the waves of the sea of ​​life. He hoped that in the second volume he would be able to paint a Russian Orthodox man in all his beauty, in all his purity. Gogol did not know how to do this. Around this time, he met Father Fr. Makariy. Gogol left Optina with a renewed soul, but did not give up the idea of ​​writing the second volume of Dead Souls and worked on it. But then, feeling that he was unable to fully embody the ideal of a Christian that lived in his soul, he became disillusioned with his work - this is the reason for the burning of the second volume of Dead Souls. His friends and contemporaries did not understand what happened to him. Such a great mind as Belinsky only cursed Gogol! Belinsky himself also ended badly; it is unlikely that he was saved, since he was an unbeliever, although he did not die in such a complete break with the Church as Tolstoy. And Gogol died a true Christian. There is a legend that shortly before his death he told his close friend: - Oh, how much I have lost, how terribly I have lost! - Because I didn’t enter the monastery. Oh, why Father Fr. Macarius didn’t take me to his monastery? It is not known whether Father Gogol and his father visited Gogol before. Macarius talked about monasticism; it is unknown whether the Elder offered him to enter a monastery; It is very possible that Fr. Macarius did not call him, seeing that he would not bear the difficulties of our monastic life. Monasticism... How many times have we talked about it, and I always advise: if you don’t join a monastery yourself, then at least read descriptions of the lives of holy monks and reverends. They can teach us a lot. Once upon a time I told you about my schoolmate. He studied very poorly. One day I saw that he ran his little hands through his hair and became completely absorbed in reading. With the curiosity typical of boys, I began to see what he was reading. The entry is on one side, on the other, and the table of contents is not visible. Finally, I ask: – Yes, interesting, this is a rare phenomenon (and he has never read anything). Well, I had to leave. Later I saw: he finished reading, put the book aside and began to think. I approached. - What did you read, tell me now! – He showed me a sheet with the title. I see biographies of famous scientists and artists. - Interesting? - I ask. - Very! And guess what? I will be a famous scientist! - Well, brother, I wanted a lot. You'd better study your algebra lessons more carefully, otherwise you're getting only twos and ones! - No, it's over! I'll be a scientist! So what? He began to study well, finished well, and then, as I heard, he was, if not great, then one of our significant scientists. This is the effect that a book read can have: read it and change. Likewise, reading the Lives of the Saints can have a beneficial effect on us. The Prologue tells the following. There lived one ascetic in the desert. Representatives of the pagan school of Stoics came to him and began to ask what he was doing in the desert and what, in his opinion, was the advantage of his life over the life of the people of their sect. – You fast, we fast too; You are awake, and we are not sleeping; you are a beggar, and we have no name; but we are engaged in science, we are looking for new ways for human thought, and what are you doing? How are you benefiting humanity? – What am I doing? Nothing. I protect my soul from destructive thoughts. The Prologue does not say how the Stoics reacted to this answer, but the elder in these words expressed the entire essence of monastic “doing.” Protecting your soul from thoughts is a difficult task, the meaning of which is not even clear to worldly people. They often say: why protect the soul from thoughts? Well, the thought came and went - why fight it? They are very wrong. Thoughts don't just come and go. Another thought can destroy a person’s soul, another thought instructs a person to completely turn around on the path of life and go in a completely different direction. The Holy Fathers say that there are thoughts from God, thoughts from oneself, that is, one’s nature, and thoughts from demons. It takes great wisdom to discern where thoughts come from, whether they are inspired by God or a hostile force, or whether they come from nature. Often, when receiving people not in this half, but there, among men who generally live more with their minds, rather than with their hearts (a woman lives more with her heart, feelings), I hear complaints that we are now going through difficult times, that complete freedom has now been given to all heretical and godless teachings, that the Church is being attacked from all sides by the enemy, and it becomes scary for her, that she is overcome by these muddy waves of unbelief and heresies. I always answer: - Don't worry! Don't be afraid for the Church. She will not perish, the gates of hell will not prevail against her 391 until the Last Judgment. Don’t worry about her, but you need to be afraid for yourself, because it’s true that our times are difficult. Why? Yes, because now it is especially easy to fall away from Christ, and then there will be destruction. Those who followed Christ, His venerables, will reign with Him. But we know other “reverends” who became like not Christ, but His enemy - Satan; You probably also know these “reverends,” if not by their works, then at least by their names: all the Nietzsches, Renans and other corrupters of morality, what is their fate? Having become in every way similar to the culprit of all abomination, all uncleanness - the devil, they, upon death, fall into his power, as the Russian proverb says: “One’s own unwilling brother.” Those who have served Christ will reign with Him. He is also “their own” to them. Now it is especially easy to fall away from Christ and fall under the power of dark power. You walk down the street and see: in the window there is a heretical book on display that treats, well, at least, about the Divinity of Christ. The thought says: come in, buy a book, read it. It is good if a person does not succumb to this thought, if he realizes that this thought is being instilled in him by Satan, that this book is hostile to the teachings of the Holy Church. And another, you see, came in, bought a book, read it - and turned in the other direction, fell away from Christ. Where did his fall begin? In an evil thought. And didn’t Tolstoy die because of a thought? After all, he could have been a righteous man. It is known that sometimes he asked his wife: “What would you, Sonechka, say if I suddenly entered a monastery?” It is not known what Sofya Andreevna answered him, and Tolstoy probably said this half-jokingly. Remember, in Gogol’s “Old World Landowners,” Afanasy Ivanovich sometimes liked to scare Pulcheria Ivanovna and told her that he would just get his act together and go to war with the Turks. Pulcheria Ivanovna brushed aside such “terrible words” from her husband. We don’t know how Sofya Andreevna felt about Lev Nikolaevich’s speeches, but Lev Nikolaevich’s life could have gone completely differently if he had not listened to his disastrous thoughts. The thought appeared to him that Jesus Christ was not God, and he believed it. Then it occurred to him that the Gospel was written incorrectly, and he believed this thought and reshaped the Gospel in his own way, fell away from the Church, went further and further from God and ended badly. He came here once, visited Father Fr. Ambrose probably came under the guise of someone thirsting for salvation. But oh. Ambrose understood him very well when Tolstoy spoke to him about his “gospel.” When Tolstoy left Father, he only said about him: “He is proud!” - and believe me, this one word described his entire mental illness. Tolstoy returned to the hotel, and the famous writer Leontyev 392 lived there at that time. They knew each other, and Tolstoy began to tell Leontyev about his visit to the Skete. He, being an ardent man, became indignant and exclaimed: - How could you dare, count, to talk to the Elder about your “gospel”?! - Oh, so you want to report me to the chief prosecutor? Well, then, tell me! Let's see what happens. This is how Tolstoy understood him and what he suspected! Are there many other cases when the death of a human life begins with a thought? For example, a young man loves a girl and begins to think: “I like her, and she seems to love me too. She expects to marry me. What should I do, get married? But then she will be a burden to me. I receive such and such content. Now it goes to me alone, and after marriage I will have to share it with her. I’d rather deceive her, take everything from her, and throw her away like a squeezed lemon.” And if he himself still doubts his thoughts, there will be some adviser who will say that the concepts of morality are conditional, church commandments are not obligatory, that life is given for pleasure, and one must take from it everything that it can give. Life is a struggle for existence. One must live for pleasure and step through the weakest, without hesitating to sacrifice them for the sake of one’s pleasure. That's it. A convenient philosophy is found, and the person shamelessly takes advantage of the gullibility of another person, without thinking about the suffering that lies ahead for the victim. The English philosopher Darwin created a whole system according to which life is a struggle for existence, a struggle between the strong and the weak, where the vanquished are doomed to death, and the winners triumph. This is already the beginning of animal philosophy, and people who believe in it do not think twice about killing a person, insulting a woman, robbing their closest friend - and all this is completely calm, with full awareness of their right to commit all these crimes. And the beginning of all this is again in the thought that people believed, in the thought that nothing is forbidden, that the Divine commandments are not obligatory, and church decrees are constraining. You can't trust these thoughts. We must once and for all humbly submit to the demands of the Church, no matter how constraining they may be. Yes, they are not that difficult at all! What does the Church require? Pray, fast when necessary, and this must be done. The Lord says about His commandments that they are not burdensome. What are these commandments? Blessedness of mercy... Well, we will probably fulfill this: our heart will soften - and we will show mercy and help poor people. Blessed are the meek... Here there is a high wall - our irritability, which prevents us from being meek. Blessed are you when people revile you... 393 Here, in our pride, there is an almost insurmountable barrier to fulfilling this commandment. We will show mercy; Perhaps we will even cope with our irritability, but to endure reproach and even pay for it with goodness is completely impossible for us. This is a barrier that separates us from God and which we do not try to step over, but must be crossed. Where to look for strength for this? In prayer. There is an excellent book describing the effect of prayer 394. Its origin is as follows: in old Athos there lived an old man named Disiderius. When unrest arose there, the life of Russian monks became too difficult, they were threatened with eviction from Athos. Then there was a meeting of Russian Athos residents about what to do. The voices were divided. Some suggested turning to London to the Queen of England with a request to sell them land in Australia to establish a new monastery there. But this proposal was rejected, and they settled on something else - to move to the Caucasus. Here Emperor Alexander donated a piece of land for free, where “New Athos” was founded; Among the other monks who moved here was Fr. Disiderius. But soon the noise of the hostel began to weigh on him, and he retired to the Caucasus mountains for silence, he did not retire on his own, but with the blessing of the elders. Here he spent a truly equal life. It’s hard to say what he ate; It seems he had a garden, which means vegetables and water served him as food and drink. Here he learned true happiness, which consists in the communion of the soul with God and which people seek in vain, chasing the fleeting joys of this world. Father Disiderius had one disciple 395 with whom he had conversations about inner work, that is, about the Jesus Prayer. When Fr. Disiderius died, the disciple buried his holy body. He gradually wrote down these conversations, and when the third Athos resident, Fr. Benedict, then found these conversations in manuscripts. It occurred to him to publish them, and with this proposal he came to us in Skete. Not having sufficient funds for this undertaking, I sent him to Grand Duchess Elizaveta Feodorovna, 396 who gave him the opportunity to publish this wonderful book. I have a few copies that I can give to someone. This book must be read several times in order to fully comprehend the depth of its content. It should bring enormous pleasure to people who have a penchant for a contemplative life. May God grant that reading this brings you not only high spiritual pleasure, but also help in saving your soul. Amen. February 22, 1913 Last conversation I have already told you that among the papers a letter was found from St. Philaret of Moscow to the abbot of the Staro-Golutvin Monastery, Father Nazarius. A copy of a handwritten letter from Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow, to Abbot Nazarius of Staro-Golutvinsky. To our Reverend Father Nazarius, rejoice in the Lord and be at peace! I hear repeatedly that your vision is becoming impoverished, but you continue to act more on your own, which may result in an oversight for which your assistants will be exacted. I advise you to use them more, so that it is checked and that everything is done in a timely manner and in order. On your part, your prayer and edifying word will be more beneficial. Filaret, Metropolitan of Moscow. Truly true: monk Parthenius, 1913 February, 14. The brethren offered me this letter and drew my attention to the fact that it is useful for me to remain in prayer and edify them with words - but leave the affairs of managing the monastery to them, which is better for me. Metropolitan Philaret was a strong man in word and deed, and our lamp recently died, who, if he did not become Philaret, it was only because an early death prevented him, this is Michael, Bishop of Tauride 397. Among his works there is one: “Above the Gospel”, an excerpt from which we will take as the subject of our conversation. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God 398 . Grace-filled rebirth from the Holy Spirit is a necessary condition for entry into the Kingdom of God and into the church founded by the Lord on earth to fulfill the commandments of Christ and to learn the secrets of His teaching. If we decide to follow in the footsteps of Christ, rejecting the power of regeneration by the Holy Spirit, we will soon see all the poverty of our aspirations. If we try and fulfill His commandments, relying only on our own strength, on our natural unregenerate man, then at first the burden will be too much for us, and we will fall in despair, crushed by its weight. The Law of Christ is beyond the strength of a natural man, much heavier than the Law of Moses, for it refines and strengthens his demands; It is certainly impossible to implement it in life with our weak and sin-prone forces, and the law of Christ is designed exclusively for a person blessed with grace. Only with the help of the power of the Holy Spirit, through the renewal of our old nature with the new element of grace-filled life, does it become easy to fulfill, and its commandments are only a form of discovery and development of this heavenly power, and the secrets of its teaching are the secrets of our inner spiritual life experienced by us. At present, Christian societies seem to bow to the moral demands of Christ's teaching. And yet, what does real life testify to us? Don't people feel more and more powerless to fulfill them in their real, truly Christian and therefore the only true saving meaning? Are they not becoming more and more slaves to the external conditions of life, to its continuously becoming more complex forms, and at the same time to the connected cruel struggle for existence, for influence, for power, the struggle of passions and pride, the struggle of everything petty and narrow-minded? Undoubtedly, this bifurcation of moral ideals and the course of real life is a truly tragic place. And the reason for all this is that the gracious power of rebirth by the Holy Spirit has ceased to serve for the freedom of modern man as a source of his everyday, private and public life and activity: everyone thinks to be Christians using only their natural powers and considerations. It is clear that nothing reliably good will ever come of this, and before our eyes are the inevitable consequences of such a false path: the ever-spreading dissatisfaction with life and its ever-increasing suffering... Indeed, now one often hears complaints and dissatisfaction with life, and yet not only the future life, but also this earthly life is bliss. Many people don’t believe this: what kind of bliss is it when life is full of all kinds of grief, sorrow, and loss? Yes, but it turns out that even with all this, life can be blissful, and this bliss lies in fulfilling the commandments of Christ. The very commandments begin with the word “beatitudes”: Blessed are the poor in spirit... blessed are the weeping... blessed are the pure in heart... and so on. The ninth commandment is a height that is not comprehended by everyone: You are naturally better, when they revile you and curse you and say every evil word against you as a liar. For my sake 399. So, bliss is in reproach, in hostile attitude towards us for Christ. True, they speak badly about the criminal, but the main strength is not in slander in general, but in slander for the sake of faith and Christ God. The Savior adds: “For my sake,” that is, because the person is a Christian. But here is a strange phenomenon: at present, many worship the moral teaching of Christ the Savior and want to fulfill His law, but reject the Lawgiver, that is, they want to create Christianity without Christ. This was, for example, Tolstoy and many others like him. Tolstoy was not a bad person, but he rejected Christ, “gave up” on the Church and everything spiritual and died. Before his death, he seemed to be looking for reconciliation with the Church, he even went to Optina Pustyn, but it was too late. Since Tolstoy rejected Christ all his life, at the end of his life he himself was rejected. Many people say: you can be a good person without Christ and even fulfill the gospel law, for example, about love and mercy. No, this is a deep misconception. The commandments of Christ require such heights from us that they are intended only for a person reborn through Holy Baptism. Neither a Jew nor a Mohammedan can fulfill them. Some say: what is so difficult about the New Testament? Everything is just love and love. Yes, but this is what constitutes a feat. To love everyone according to the Gospel, with perfect love, is not an easy task, requiring enormous work and the assistance of God’s grace, which is why St. the apostle Paul says: Love is the fulfillment of the law 400. The Commandments of the Old Testament are easier than the Commandments of the Gospel; they could be performed by an unregenerate person, but for the New Testament this is impossible. The sacraments of the Orthodox Church have such great power that a baptized person, even if he is a villain, if he repents, can begin a new life, fulfilling the Gospel law in its entirety. The Lord requires of us, first of all, faith: Without faith it is impossible to please God 401. No matter how many good deeds someone does, if he does not do them in the name of Christ, then they have no value. Let us explain with an example: let’s take, on the one hand, a person who is an unbeliever, but tries to live well, and on the other hand, a villain, but who does not reject Christ. The first one died, and the Lord rejected him: “I don’t know you, you did not recognize Me during your earthly life, but I reject you in Eternal Life.” Such is the truly deplorable fate of the unbeliever. Well, what about the villain? He committed many crimes of all kinds, but now his hour of death approached: “Lord, Lord, what will happen to me, there is not a single person worse than me in the world!” He calls the priest, reveals to him all his sins, which are indeed very great, he puts on an epitrachelion, reads a prayer of absolution, and all the sins of the former villain are drowned in the sea of ​​God's mercy. And then he is honored to receive the Holy Mysteries and goes to the Lord, justified, and goes to Paradise. Truly, we are going through a terrible time: we are running from Christ and are ashamed of Him. But the Savior said: Whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him the Son of Man will also be ashamed when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy Angels 402. Meanwhile, especially rich people are ashamed to admit that they are Christians. In a rich house, for example, a servant comes and says: “Please come eat.” Everyone sits down at the table, but if one of the guests crosses himself or reads a prayer before eating, God, what ridicule he will not be subjected to! It will certainly serve as a topic for conversation and witticisms; if this is a learned person, some kind of professor who cannot be suspected of ignorance and backwardness, then he will be called a Pharisee, etc. And not so long ago, when I was six years old, they were not ashamed of Christ. In the houses, even of the rich, when they sat down at large tables, they first read a prayer, were baptized, but 60 years passed - and everything changed. Due to the indifference of educated and often simple people to the Orthodox Church and its rituals, many are tempted and go into schism, wanting to find the truth, and finally perish. I was in Moscow before Maslenitsa and fell ill there. Arriving home, I was greeted by general crying. “What are you waiting for, I’m not dead yet,” I tell them. No, they don’t let up. Meanwhile, my illness intensified. “Lord,” I think, “this is the end already. I am a great sinner, more sinful than anyone on earth, but, Lord, I did not run away from the Church and I never renounced You.” I received Holy Communion, received unction and calmed down. “Lord,” I say, “I’m ready!” Grant, God, that we try to fulfill Your holy commandments. And perhaps some of you will reach such a state that the commandments will be fulfilled not under duress, but as a need of the soul. May the will of God be done in everything, good and perfect, and may the Lord help us. Amen. See also the conversation of December 27, 1909 (In some of the conversations of St. Barsanuphius, fragments similar in content are noticeable - the Elder conducted his conversations at different times, the composition of the listeners changed. But each conversation had its own differences, details and additions. Understanding the value of the word of the great Elder in our time, we present the text of the conversations without abbreviations, in the form in which they have come down to us. - Ed.) Venerable Elder of Optina, Hieroschemamonk Ambrose (Grenkov: 1812–1891). The spiritual son of elders Leo and Macarius, he was the confessor of the brethren and pilgrims who came to him from all over Russia. Founder of the Shamordino Monastery, continuer of the book publishing business of Optina Pustyn. Canonized in 1988. About him, see: Schema-Archimandrite Agapit (Belovidov). Life of the Venerable Ambrose the Elder of Optina. Ed. Vvedenskaya Optina Pustyn, 1999 The Kazan Gorskaya Shamorda women's dormitory, 12 versts from Optina Pustyn, was founded by Rev. Ambrose in 1884. In 1901 she was converted to a monastery. Rev. Barnabas of Gethsemane (Merkulov; 1831–1906), hieroschemamonk. About him, see: Lives of Russian ascetics of piety of the 18th–19th centuries, February 17. Ed. Vvedenskaya Optina Pustyn, 1993–1999. Venerable Optina Elder Hieroschemamonk Anatoly (Zertsalov; 1824–1894), at the beginning of his monastic life a student of Ven. Macarius, then Rev. Ambrose, monastery leader (since 1871), confessor of the Shamordino monastery, spiritual father of St. Barsanuphia. Doer of mental prayer. Rev. Ambrose said about him: “He was given such prayer and grace as is given to one out of thousands.” He was canonized as a locally revered saint in 1996, all-Russian in 2000. About him, see: The Life and Teachings of the Optina Elder Anatoly (Zertsalov). Ed. Vvedenskaya Optina Pustyn, 1991. St. Barsanuphius of Kazan, Bishop of Tver. His memory is celebrated on October 4 (discovery of relics) and April 11 // Lives of the Saints, October 4. Troparion of the 8th song of the Paschal Canon. In our publication there are two spellings - peace and peace. Their main meanings are: peace - the absence of quarrels, hostility, disagreement, war; harmony, unanimity, affection, friendship, goodwill: calm, silence. The world is the totality of all forms of matter in earthly and outer space, the Universe, the human race, the state of earthly life. – Ed. Pashalov Viktor Nikandrovich (1841–1885) - Russian composer and music teacher. In recent years he lived in great poverty. Author of many romances. Paskhalov’s creativity was appreciated by V.V. Stasov and M.P. Mussorgsky, who saw in him glimpses of strong and original talent. See also the conversation of December 30, 1912. Troparion of the 9th canon of the Paschal Canon. Troparion of the 4th song of the Paschal Canon. Rev. Seraphim of Sarov. About him, see: Lives of the Saints. January 2. Venerable Optina Elder Hieroschemamonk Macarius (Ivanov: 1788–1860). In 1810 he entered the Ploshchanskaya Bogoroditsk Hermitage, from 1834 - in Optina, from 1841 - head of the monastery. Under his leadership, Optina began a book publishing business, and translations of patristic works into Russian were undertaken. Canonized as a locally revered saint in 1996, all-Russian in 2000. About him, see: Archimandrite Leonid (Kavelin). Life of the Optina Elder Macarius. Ed. Vvedenskaya Optina Pustyn, 1995. Lives of the Saints, January 17 and 19. Philokalia. T. 1. Also: Memorable tales... About Abba Anthony. No. 7. "Lavsaik". Ch. 37. About Pitirim. OK. 4:30. Literal translation from Church Slavonic: idyashe - walked. The exclamation of the priest during the Eucharistic canon. Rev. Jacob the Postnik. About him, see: Lives of the Saints, March 4. The Chronicle of the Kozelskaya Vvedenskaya Optina Hermitage monastery for 1820–1851 tells about this. Entry dated January 16, 1850. “Accident.” Rev. Barsanuphius changed the monk's name during the conversation. It was about the monk Macarius (Gruzinov). Venerable Optina Elder Hieroschemamonk Leo (Nagolkin 1708–1841). Founder of the eldership in Optina Pustyn. His spiritual mentors were Hieromonk Vasily (Kishkin) and Schemamonk Theodore of Moldova - students of St. Paisiya (Velichkovsky). In Optina Pustyn since 1829: he was the confessor of the monastery and numerous pilgrims, especially the common people. He was canonized as a locally revered saint in 1996, all-Russian in 2000. About him, see: Life of the Optina Elder Hieromonk Leonid, in the schema of Leo. Ed. Vvedenskaya Optina Pustyn, 1994. Lives of the Saints, August 27. Schemamonk Hilarion (1846–1916), Caucasian hermit. Author of the book “On the Caucasus Mountains,” which gave rise to theological disputes that arose in 1912. He had the gift of the Jesus Prayer. He labored on Mount Athos, in the New Athos Monastery in the Caucasus. Then, together with his elder Fr. Disiderius retired to the mountains for silence, where Fr. Hilarion recorded his mentor's conversations about prayer. These notes formed the basis of the book, first published in 1907. About the book itself, see conversation dated June 19, 1911. Monk Benedict (in the world Vladimir) comes from Bessarabia, and in his adolescence he labored in the Nyametsky monastery. Secretly tonsured by the Elder into a mantle with the name Silouan. In 1919 he suffered a martyr's death: at the Klukhor Pass he was crucified on a tree by a gang of “greens”. See: Letters from Count M.M. Speransky // Russian Archive. January. 1870. And also St. Theophan the Recluse. Letters on spiritual life. M., 1897. This book by Saint Theophan was written about the letters of Count Speransky and contains reflections on prayer and spiritual life. Perhaps the author of the notes is Fr. Nikon (Belyaev), student of Rev. Barsanuphia. Canonized in 1988, his memory is celebrated on April 30. See: Biography of Bishop Ignatius of the Caucasus. M., 2002. Schema monk Pamphilus (Tikhonov) was born in 1824; in Optina Pustyn since 1884 See also the conversation of April 12, 1911. Probably one of the spiritual children. The Venerable Optina Elder Schema-Archimandrite Moses (Putilov; 1782–1862) is the rector of Optina Pustyn. Under him, an eldership was established, and Optina’s book publishing activities flourished. He began his monastic life in the Sarov monastery, then labored in the Beloberezh Hermitage, the Svensky Monastery and the Roslavl forests. Since 1821, in Optina Pustyn, he took an active part in the establishment of the St. John the Baptist monastery, founded with the blessing of Bishop Philaret (Amphiteatrov) of Kaluga. Until 1825 he was the head of the monastery, from 1820 he was the abbot of the monastery. Canonized as a locally revered saint in 1996, all-Russian in 2000. About him, see: Life of the Venerable Schema-Archimandrite Moses (Putilov). Ed. Vvedenskaya Optina Pustyn. 1992. Venerable Optina Elder Schema-Archimandrite Isaac (Antimonov; 1810–1894), rector of Optina Pustyn since 1862. Multi-trusted builder; a wise abbot who worked hard to improve the monastery. He was canonized as a locally revered saint in 1996, all-Russian in 2000. For information about him, see: Life of the Optina Elder Schema-Archimandrite Isaac (Antimonov). Ed. Vvedenskaya Optina Pustyn, 1995). Irmos of the 1st song of the Canon for the deceased. Irmos of the 1st song of the Christmas canon. At that time it was the main city of Manchuria. In 1904–1903 Rev. Barsanuphius was sent to the Russo-Japanese War with the mission of comforting and administering the Holy Mysteries to wounded soldiers. The hospital in which he served was located in the city of Mukden. Hieromonk Barsanuphius was then 59–60 years old. Subsequently, in 1912, the Elder often recalled this service of his, as if comparing it with his transfer to the Staro-Golutvin Monastery, which was an even more difficult test for him, a 70-year-old elder. Moscow Institute of Oriental Studies. See also the conversation of March 26, 1912. 1 Pet. 5:5. See about Abba John Kolov: Memorable tales about the asceticism of the saints and blessed fathers. Trinity-Sergius Lavra, 1993. Also: Ancient patericon. Ch. 14. About obedience. Ps. 117:24, chant from the Easter stichera. See: Fatherland of St. Ignatius (Brianchaninova), “Abba Daniel”. Lives of the Saints, November 24 and December 4. The great host of new martyrs and confessors of Russia, who suffered during the time of persecution for the faith of Christ, were canonized at the Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church on August 13–16, 2000. In 1902, by decree of the Holy Synod, local veneration of 222 Chinese martyrs who suffered in 1900 during the anti-Christian uprising was established; Their holy relics were then buried on the territory of the Russian Spiritual Mission in China. On April 17, 1997, after many years of oblivion, the Holy Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church resumed the liturgical veneration of the martyrs. Their memory is celebrated annually on June 11/24. See also the conversation of December 26, 1909. This refers to Tolstoy’s works “Connection and translation of the four Gospels” (1880–1881), “A summary of the Gospels” (1881–1883). Russian archive. 1884. No. 6. P. 349. Thief is a thief (church glory). In another version, December 28, 1909 See: Lives of Russian ascetics of piety of the 18th–19th centuries, December 29 and October 24. Elder Hieroschemamonk Macarius of Optina, speaking about the merits of this book, also paid special attention to its dangerous side. This book served as one of the reasons for writing Rev. Makariy’s article “A Warning to Those Reading the Spiritual Books of the Fathers and Those Who Want to Perform the Smart Jesus Prayer,” where Rev. Macarius, in particular, notes: “It (the manuscript) is written convincingly. The evidence is adapted from the books of the fathers; and the dangerous side on this subject is silent: so that someone who does not fully know the teaching of the Holy Fathers can easily get carried away by such convictions, and especially who has not happened to see or hear from others about those who have been damaged mentally through such doing...” The main error in this manuscript, according to the Rev. Macarius, is that “... the author of it wrote an indifferent conviction for the passage of mental and heartfelt prayer, setting the main goal in this endeavor to be the search for high gifts and spiritual consolations, which can lead to very dangerous consequences in relation to the deception of the enemy.” On the Jesus Prayer, see also the conversation of June 19, 1911. A wonderful dream seen by a novice of the New Athos Simon-Kananitsky monastery on October 11, 1908. Reprint edition of the Compound in Moscow of the Russian Monastery on Mount Athos, 1995). About her, see also conversations of December 29, 1910 and April 12, 1911. Biography of Russian ascetics of piety of the 18th–19th centuries, December 20. Lives of the Saints, April 12. Reverend; Isaac the Syrian. Ascetic words. M., 2002. Word 41. Saint Theophan, recluse of Vyshensky. Canonized in 1988 // Lives of Russian ascetics of piety of the 18th–19th centuries, January 10. In addition to surviving photographs, portraits by the Optina hieromonk Daniil (Bolotov) are also known. See Conversation of December 26, 1911. At that time - novice Dimitri. Having left Optina in 1829, D.A. Brianchaninov already in 1830 found himself in the Kirillo-Novoezersky Monastery, then in the Semigorod Hermitage. Lyubezh Monastery in the Life of St. Ignatius (Brianchaninov) is not mentioned. About the same thing: “When you find unchanging peace on your way, then be afraid...” // Venerable Isaac the Syrian. Ascetic words. Word 78. Canonized in 1988 // Lives of Russian ascetics of piety of the 18th–19th centuries, November 15. From the poem by M.Yu. Lermontov "The Demon" (1839). See also conversations of December 23, 1910 and April 12, 1911. See note to conversation dated December 23, 1910. His Eminence Anthony (Amphiteatrov), Archbishop of Kazan. // Biographies of Russian ascetics of piety of the 18th–19th centuries, November 8. Stichera for Vespers on Saturday Vai. Matt. 10:22 ; Matt. 24:13 ; Mk. 13:13. Irmos of the 3rd song of the Sunday canon of the Octoechos, 2nd tone. Irmos of the 1st song of the Easter canon. Franklin Benjamin (1706–1790), American educator, statesman and scientist who created his own system of moral self-improvement. Roman emperors known for their brutal persecution of Christians. 1911 Kaluga diocesan bishop was Bishop. Alexander (Golovin), but Rev. Barsanuphius speaks, apparently, about his predecessor, Bishop Veniamin (Muratovsky), who on December 31, 1910 was transferred to the Simbirsk See. Optina Monastery of St. John the Baptist, founded with the blessing of St. Filaret (Amphiteatrov), who was then Bishop of Kaluga. See: Archimandrite Leonid Kavelin. Historical description of the Kozelskaya Vvedenskaya Optina Hermitage and the monastery of St. John the Baptist. St. Petersburg, 1847. Lives of the Saints, December 12. See also the conversation of December 22, 1909. Lives of the saints, May 10, April 1, March 1. Irmos of the 8th song of the Easter canon. About her, see also conversations of December 23 and 29, 1910. The funeral service during Easter differs from the usual daily observance. Stogna – streets and squares of the city (Church Slav.). Troparion of the 3rd song of the Paschal Canon. Lives of Russian ascetics of piety of the 18th–19th centuries, May 25. Ed. Vvedenskaya Optina Pustyn. M. 1993–1999. About the degrees of the Jesus Prayer, see: Soulful Teachings of the Reverend Elders of Optina. Ed. Vvedenskaya Optina Pustyn. Part 1. P. 457. Schemamonk Hilarion. On the Caucasus mountains. Conversations of two desert elders about inner unity with the Lord of our hearts through prayer to Jesus Christ, or the Spiritual activity of modern desert dwellers. Batalpashinsk, 1907; M., 1911; Kyiv. 1912. Rev. Barsanuphius loved to re-read this book and often recommended it to his children. Subsequently, obeying the instructions of the Holy Synod of 1913, he said: “This is how things turn out. It turns out there are some mistakes there. Remember, power is not in the word, not in the name, but in the named Christ Himself. Here it is: it turns out that the entire preface of this book should be thrown out, but the book itself is good!” In Optina Pustyn, although they read this book, they expressed their attitude towards it rather restrainedly. Here, for example, is a review of. Anatoly (Potapov), one of the last great Optina elders: “I read it and found in it the pearls of the Jesus Prayer, when I learned that the Holy Synod recognized it as heretical, I, in my straightforwardness, out of obedience, as a son of the Orthodox Church, crossed out all the extracts made from this book. Bishop Ignatius also talks about the Jesus Prayer well.” Worshiper at the Divine Liturgy of St. Basil the Great. Novice Grigory (Grigory Yakovlevich Ermakov), cell attendant of the skete commander. Subsequently hieromonk Gerontius. Skete novice Philip Ignatievich Sabodash. Avva Dorotheus. Soulful teachings and messages. Lesson 6 is about not judging your neighbor. Ed. Vvedenskaya Optina Pustyn, 1900. Spiritual daughter of Elder Barsanuphius. About her, see: Sergey Nilus. About Elder Barsanuphius. See below, the text “It was, I remember, in October or November 1909...”. See also: Nilus S.A. On the banks of God's river. St. Petersburg, 1996. See: Rev. Nicodemus Svyatogorets. Invisible abuse. Part 2. Ch. 7. Venerable Optina Elder Schema-Hegumen Anthony (Putilov; 1795–1825), younger brother of Rev. Moses. From 1821 - in Optina Pustyn, from 1827 - head of the hermitage, and 1839-1853. - abbot of the Maloyaroslavets Nikolaevsky Monastery, then retired to Optina. Canonized as a locally revered saint in 1996, all-Russian in 2000. See: Biography of Abbot Anthony. Ed. Holy Vvedenskaya Optina Hermitage, 1992. From a poem by N.M. Yazykov “Swimmer” (1829). There is probably an inaccuracy here: rather Fr. Ambrose, since F.M. Dostoevsky visited Optina in 1878, and Rev. Macarius reposed in 1860. Pogozhev E.N. (1870–1931), spiritual writer, author of widely known books about Russian ascetics of the 18th–19th centuries, lives of saints, biographies of St. Macarius and Rev. Ambrose, whose spiritual child he was. He was close to Optina Pustyn and often lived there. Optina Elder Rev. Anatoly (Zertsalov). See note to conversation dated December 27, 1909. Rev. Barsanuphius was referring to the revolution of 1905–1907. Saints Barsanuphius and John. Guide to spiritual life. Ed. Vvedenskaya Optina Pustyn, 1852; M., 2002. Answer 566. The coming Antichrist and the kingdom of the devil on earth. Sergiev Posad, 1911 Rev. Barsanuphius paraphrased the original text of Ya. Polonsky’s poem “The Beggar” (1847): But everything that I collected in a day, In our age this is a different poet. Like a poor old man exhausted, He asks for spiritual food. – And whatever life sends him. He takes it with gratitude, With such beggars as myself... Archimandrite Arseny (Zhadanovsky), since 1918 - Bishop of Serpukhov, vicar of the Moscow diocese. Shot in 1937 Lopukhin A.P. (1852–1904), Master of Divinity. He published the magazine “The Wanderer”; under his editorship the “Church Messenger”, “Christian Reading”, the first 6 volumes of the Works of St. were published. John Chrysostom. From his works, in addition to translations of Western European religious writers, the three-volume “Explanatory Bible” and others are known. Ps. 90:11–12; Ps. 108:7. Kontakion "Rest with the Saints..." Hieromonk Daniel (Bolotov Dmitry Mikhailovich: 1837–1907). From the nobles of Tula province, brother Schimon. Sophia, the first abbess of the Shamordino monastery. He graduated from the Academy of Arts and was a famous portrait artist. In 1880 he was accepted into the brethren of the Optina Skete; engaged in icon painting and wall painting of churches; painted portraits of the Optina elders. He had the gift of preaching, was engaged in spiritual and educational activities among the surrounding nobility, and communicated a lot with student youth and the intelligentsia. Hieromonk Clement (in the world K.K. Zederholm; 1830–1878) - the son of a Lutheran pastor, joined Orthodoxy in 1854. He served as an official on special assignments under the Holy Synod, and in 1863 he entered Optina. He was a spiritual child of St. Ambrose, compiled the biographies of the elders Leo and Anthony. About him, see: Leontyev K. Father Clement (Zederholm), hieromonk of Optina Pustyn. M., 1997. The Lutheran pastor’s letter, containing similar lines, was the result of a long struggle - polemical correspondence between him and his son, the “Optina German.” See: Kontsevich I.M. Optina Pustyn and its time. Chapter “Autumn. Optina Troubles and the Death of the Elder.” Trinity-Sergius Lavra, ed. dept. Vladimir diocese. 1995. (Reprint.) See also conversation dated March 18, 1912. These verses belong to the pen of the Venerable himself. Barsanuphius, who, out of humility, initially kept silent about the authorship, but below, having quoted the entire poem, “reveals” himself, talking about his second trip to Optina. Elder Ambrose probably spoke not about poetry, but about the internal structure of their author. A.K. Tolstoy was in Optina Pustyn in June 1880. Epic poem by G.V. Longfellow, based on Native American folk tales. See also the conversation of December 23, 1910. Notes about the life and exploits of Pyotr Alekseevich Michurin, monk and desert dweller Basilisk, and some features from the life of the holy fool monk Jonah. Ed. Kozelskaya Vvedenskaya Optina Hermitage, 1849. This recording of the conversation and the next one (both dated January 3, 1912) appear to have been made by different people; We present both versions as they exist. Hieromartyr Metropolitan Seraphim (Chichagov. 1856–1937). at that time, the Bishop of Chisinau: was sent by the Holy Synod to Optina Pustyn to investigate the false accusations received by the Synod about. Archimandrite Xenophon in alleged illegal logging; then the matter also touched upon false denunciations about disturbances in the spiritual and economic life of the Skete, where the bishop arrived on December 30, 1911. The Bishop reported the results of his trip to the Holy Synod, which issued a Decree on the appointment of Elder Barsanuphius as rector of the Staro-Golutvin Monastery with his elevation to the rank of archimandrite. 26 years later, on December 11, 1937, the seriously ill 82-year-old Metropolitan Seraphim was shot in Butovo near Moscow. He was canonized as a saint by the Bishops' Council of the Russian Orthodox Church in 1997. Lives of the Saints, August 26. By decree of the Holy Synod of August 3, 1871, Rev. Anatoly (Zertsalov) was appointed rector of the Spas-Orlovsky Monastery in the Vyatka province with elevation to the rank of archimandrite; but with the blessing of Rev. He went to Ambrose and Kaluga to see his Eminence and refused the appointment. Irmos of the 6th song of the Sunday canon, 6th tone. Soulful teachings. Lesson 9, about not lying. Staro-Golutvin Epiphany Monastery was founded at the end of the 14th century at the mouth of the Moscow River, near Kolomna. Its first rector was a student, Rev. Sergius of Radonezh, Rev. Grigory Golutvinsky. According to legend, the place for the founding of the monastery was chosen by Saint Blgv. Prince Dimitry Donskoy. From the Chisinau diocese on behalf of the Holy Synod. See note to conversation dated January 3, 1912. Subsequently, Patriarch of Moscow and All Russia Sergius (Stragorodsky; 1867–1944). Metropolitan Anthony (Vadkovsky: 1846–1912). Master of Theology, Doctor of Church History. He graduated from the Kazan Theological Academy, and since 1874 he has been editor of the Orthodox Interlocutor. From 1887 - rector of the St. Petersburg Theological Academy and bishop of Vyborg, then - bishop of Finland. Since 1898 - Metropolitan of St. Petersburg and Ladoga, first member of the Holy Synod. Author of works on the history of preaching. In 1890, a collection of his speeches and sermons was published. Metropolitan Tryphon (Turkestan: 1861–1934). See: Lazareva N. Metropolitan Tryphon (Turkestan) // Metropolitan Tryphon (Turkestan). Ancient Christian and Optina elders. M.: MARTIS, 1997. Sschmch. Vladimir (Epiphany: 1847–1918). In 1898–1912 – Metropolitan of Moscow and Kolomna; in 1912 he was appointed Metropolitan of St. Petersburg and Ladoga with the assignment of the rights of the first member of the Holy Synod: from 1915 - Metropolitan of Kiev and Galicia. Canonized in 1992. His memory is celebrated on January 25 and on the day of the Council of New Martyrs and Confessors of Russia. We are talking about Deacon Innocent (Fan), who was killed along with his wife and three children. His body was found incorrupt three years later. For the 222 Chinese martyrs who suffered in 1900, see the note to the conversation of May 30, 1910. Lives of the Saints, October 3 and August 23. Probably Rev. Barsanuphius speaks of the time after the division of the Churches, since up to the 11th century inclusive a host of saints flourished in these countries. This refers to a summer cottage near Orenburg. See conversation dated December 26, 1911. Ladder. Word 3, Art. 28. See also the conversation of December 28, 1909. July 10, 1910, during the serious illness of Rev. Varsanuphia, Fr. Theodosius (see below about him) tonsured him into the schema. The Elder's adoptive father was Rev. Nectary. Hegumen Theodosius (Pomortsev). Appointed monastery commander after the transfer of Rev. Barsanuphius at Golutvin Monastery. In 1912 Fr. Theodosius was both the spiritual son and confessor of the Elder. Rev. Barsanuphius also has in mind his departure to the Staro-Golutvin Monastery. Schimonakh Boris (Boris Ivanovich Ivanov; 1816–1898). See also the conversation of July 26, 1911. "Lavsaik", chapter 8: About Ammon. Also: Lives of the Saints, January 17. Venerable Optina Elder Hieroschemamonk Joseph (Litovkin; 1837–1911). In Optina Pustyn since 1861; for thirty years he was the cell attendant of St. Ambrose. In 1891–1907 - monastery leader. He was canonized as a locally revered saint in 1996, and all-Russian in 2000. About him, see: Life of Elder Joseph of Optina. Ed. Vvedenskaya Optina Pustyn, 1993. Archimandrite Xenophon (V.I. Klyukin; 1843–1914), rector of Optina Pustyn since 1899 From the rank of ordination to the rank of deacon or presbyter. John Moschus, a Byzantine writer of the 6th–7th centuries, who labored in Jerusalem and the Jordan Desert, and his disciple Sophronius, later the Patriarch of Jerusalem (March 11). Blazh. John Mosch. Spiritual meadow. 1915. Sects common at that time. Schemamonk Gennady (Gerasim Ivanov; 1813 - about 1898). Hieroschemamonk Ignatius (Ivan Andreevich Pososhkov; 1807–1897). There is a gap here in the manuscript. In another manuscript: “new sundress.” Sunday stichera on “I cried to the Lord,” tone 4. Dusan Petrovich Makovitsky (1866–1921), Tolstoy's family doctor. Archpriest Pavel Ivanovich Levashov was the rector of the General Staff Church in St. Petersburg. With his blessing, some Headquarters officers went to Optina. After the revolution Fr. Pavel served in the Moscow Novodevichy Convent, and later lived in Gomel and maintained contact with the Optina Elder Nektariy. Countess S.S. Ignatiev and M.A. Bulgak. About them, see the book: Kontsevich I.M. Optina Pustyn and its time. Chapter “Autumn. Optina Troubles and the Death of the Elder.” We are talking, apparently, about the Holy Trinity Sergius Convent, located in Riga itself. The monastery hermitage (Spaso-Preobrazhenskaya) is located 40 versts from Riga. Memorable tales... About Abba Arseny. No. 28. The last two monasteries were located in the Kaluga province: the first in Likhvinsky district, the second in Przemysl. Canonized in 1990. Lives of Russian ascetics of piety of the 18th–19th centuries, December 20. Autobiographical sketch by I.S. Turgenev “Enough. (Excerpt from the notes of a deceased artist" (1862–1864). Priest Alexy Kolokolov (1836–1902), a wonderful shepherd, confessor and preacher, conducted extensive charitable activities and improved many churches. Avva Isaac the Syrian. Ascetic words. Word 75. See note to conversation dated January 3, 1912. Venerable Optina Elder Hilarion (Ponomarev; 1805)–1873). In Optina Pustyn since 1839. For twenty years he was the cell attendant of the Rev. Makaria, bore the obedience of a gardener, was engaged in beekeeping and spoon crafts. Since 1863 - head of the monastery. He was canonized as a locally revered saint in 1996, all-Russian in 2000. About him, see: Life of the Venerable Hieroschemamonk Hilarion of Optina. Ed. Vvedenskaya Optina Pustyn, 1993. Irmos of the 6th canon of the 8th tone of the Octoechos. Song of praise to St. Ambrose of Milan “We praise God to you...” Avva Isaac the Syrian. Ascetic words. Word 74. “On the types of virtue.” See also Homily 2 “On Gratitude to God.” Wed: Rome. 8:17. Right there. Word 8. “On preserving and keeping oneself away from relaxed and careless people.” Avva Dorotheus. Soulful teachings. Lesson 2. About humility. Irmos of the 1st song of the Christmas canon, 1st tone. Lermontov M.Yu. Angel (1831). From the word “to be puffed up” - to puff up, to be lifted up with pride. Lives of the Saints, February 17. In another manuscript: sobriety. Lives of the Saints, February 18. St. Filaret (Drozdov Vasily Mikhailovich; 1783–1867), Metropolitan of Moscow and Kolomna. Canonized in 1995 // Lives of Russian ascetics of piety of the 18th–19th centuries, November 19. After publication in “Northern Flowers” Pushkin’s poem: A vain gift, an accidental gift. Life, why were you given to me? Who makes me a hostile power Filled my soul with passion. Has your mind been agitated by doubt?.. The heart is empty, the mind is idle, in “Zvezdochka” there appeared a response to it from Metropolitan Philaret (without a signature), written by him in the same poetic meter and in almost the same words and expressions: I myself am capricious in power He called out evil from the dark abysses. He filled his soul with passion. Remember me, forgotten by me! Shine through the darkness of thoughts - As a result, Pushkin’s “Stanzas” were born // For more details, see: Pushkin A.S.: The Path to Orthodoxy. M.: Father's house. 1999. The last quatrain is especially remarkable. His original version: was changed by Pushkin at the request of the censor. Historical bulletin. 1894. January. Troparion, tone 8. Midnight Office every day. The priest's exclamation from the Eucharistic canon. Lives of the Saints. November 24, December 4. September 18. April 16, May 5, March 1, August 4. See also the conversation of July 15, 1912. Turgenev I.S. Noble nest. Archimandrite Anthony (Vadkovsky). See note 248. Irmos of the 7th song of the Christmas canon. Lives of the Saints, May 8 // Memorable tales... About Abba Arseny. No. 1. Tyutchev F. AND . Silentium! (1833). “It’s time, my friend, it’s time! The heart asks for peace...” (1834). Life //Arabesque. Part 2. M., 1835. Pogodin M.I. (1800–1875) – famous historian, critic, publicist. Leontyev Konstantin Nikolaevich (1831–1891), writer, publicist, literary critic, spiritual son of Rev. Ambrose, on August 23, 1891, took monastic vows with the name Clement. About him, see the book: Kontsevich I.M. Optina Pustyn and its time. Ch. XI. Book by Schemamonk Hilarion “On the Caucasus Mountains.” See conversation dated June 19, 1911. Schemamonk Hilarion. See conversation dated August 11, 1909. Holy Martyr Grand Duchess Elisaveta Feodorovna (1864–1918). Her memory is celebrated on July 5 and on the first Sunday after January 25. Bishop Mikhail (Gribanovsky; 1856–1898), famous spiritual writer.