79. Последние тревоги и беспокойства. Предание своей участи в руки Божии с молитвой и мужеством против врага, наводящего искушения

God's mercy be with you! You still have anxiety. And tell me, where would you get them from?! Your external appearance is good, your internal everything has been reviewed, adjusted and sealed by your decision. Where can there be anxiety?! Everything is an enemy, everything is an enemy. Nowhere else. What else could it be? Don’t you think on your own, with your own strength and your own ability to arrange your life, even according to what is prescribed?! Take a closer look and, if this is even remotely true, hurry to correct it. With this system you will not end up with any embarrassment. So that's it! Please reconsider or mentally repeat everything that was written down, and what was happening in you, and how you finally decided on the work of your life, and direct this review so that at the end of it there will be a strong decision that you must irrevocably surrender your fate into the hands of God. Then stand in prayer and, having prayed fervently, say before the Lord from your heart: “Into Your hands, Lord, I commend my fate. As You please, arrange my life, with all its connections and accidents. From now on I put an end to all concern for myself, accepting only one concern - to always do what is pleasing in Your sight.” Say this, and by the very act, place yourself completely in the hands of God, not worrying about anything, but accepting every opportunity calmly, as God has deliberately arranged for you, whether it is pleasant or unpleasant. Your only concern should be to act in every case according to the commandment of God. This “one thing” is “for your need” (Luke 10:41–42). Once you set your mind to this, all worries will end. Now you take care of yourself and want to arrange and turn all events in your own way. If everything doesn’t go well, then you suffer, something is wrong, something else is wrong. And when you surrender everything to the Lord and accept it as coming from Him and useful for you, then you will not have any anxiety, but will only look around to see what the Lord is sending, so that you can act according to the meaning of what is sent. Any case can come under the commandment. And lead, and do according to the commandment, trying to please God, and not to satisfy your desire by straining. Take a good look at what I’m talking about and try to achieve this mood. You need to study, suddenly you can’t. And pray about this. I pray to the Lord to free you from the situation that you consider unpleasant for yourself, adding, however: if it pleases His holy will and it is saving for you. And he will release, of course, in due time. Put on this faith and endure. And just looking at the current states, we see that they are constantly changing. Nothing is worth it. What weighs on you will also change. The days will come when you will breathe freely, and not only breathe, but also flutter like a butterfly through flowers, you just need to endure the term required for patience. The housewife puts the pie in the oven and does not take it out until she is sure that it is baked. The Lord of the world put you in the oven and keeps you in it, waiting for you to bake. Be patient and wait. Once it's baked, you won't sit in the oven for a minute longer. They will take you out immediately. If you rush out yourself, you will be like a half-baked pie. Arm yourself with patience. I will also say: according to our faith, whoever endures the troubles he encounters with complacency, accepting them as from the hand of the Lord, is a participant in martyrdom. Please imprint this well in your thoughts and thereby bring comfort to your heart. It is impossible to live without feelings, but it is illegal to give in to feelings. It is necessary to refresh and temper them with reasoning and give them proper direction. You are impressionable, and your heart fills your head. Do as I already wrote to you: figure out in advance where arousal of what kind of feeling is possible, and enter into those circumstances, keeping yourself on guard from heart disturbances, or holding your heart in strong hands. You need to practice this, and with exercise you can achieve complete power over yourself. But everything is from God. We must resort to Him. And you write that you don’t pray. Good girl! Why, have you signed up to become a Basurmanka?! How not to pray? You don’t read all the ready-made prayers, but in your own words tell Him what’s on your soul and ask for help. “Do you see, Lord, what I have? Both this and that. I can’t cope with myself. Help, All-Merciful!” And tell me every part of your need, and ask for appropriate help for everything. And this will be a real prayer. You can always pray your own prayer, without reading printed prayers, as long as there is no indulgence in laziness. But why do you listen to someone who tells you to stop praying? Or don't you see that this is the enemy? Clearly an enemy. It buzzes in my ears: drop it; and sometimes, as if engulfing the whole body, it drags you quickly to bed. These are all his tricks. But he does his job, distracting people from a good deed. But we need to do our job, never retreating from a good deed until we finish. So, if you please, arm yourself with courage and do not listen to the enemy, and do not pay any attention to his buzzing. And it's even better to get angry. Getting angry at the enemy is the same as punching someone in the chest. It will fly off immediately. With all my heart I wish you to finally calm down. You might be interested in: