64. Одиночество. Как избегать скуки. Чтение и изучение наук

God's mercy be with you! You write: “I’m left alone and I miss you.” It's a natural feeling. But I think that you might not have one after your decisions and what you were asked to do as a result. If the latter had been instilled in you at least to some extent, then you would never recognize yourself as lonely, even though you are alone. You would not recognize yourself as lonely, because you would realize that the Lord is near, near and your Guardian Angel is with you, not mentally, but really. And then the feeling of loneliness, and therefore boredom as a result of it, would be inappropriate. But I believe that this onset of boredom was momentary for you and soon dissipated. Always, however, for the future, whenever you have to be alone, quickly restore the conviction that the Lord is with you and your guardian angel, and hasten to take advantage of the moments of solitude for unentertained time with the Lord and sweet conversation with Him. Solitude in this spirit is sweet. I wish you to taste this sweetness someday so that you desire it like heaven on earth. The other day, while leafing through a book, I came across advice from a father (Count Speransky) to his daughter. Here, by the way, it also talks about how to avoid boredom. This is what he advises. “Everyone,” he says, “has a circle of his daily activities, which he serves, like some kind of quitrent. But there are many people for whom these quit-rent occupations are simple and short-lived. They leave a lot of time, which if you don’t fill it with anything, you won’t be able to avoid boredom. To avoid it, here is the most reliable means for you: arrange it so that you do not have a single idle minute and all your time is filled with appropriate activities, so that when, having finished one task, you become free, you already have another task ready to take on. What are these things? Firstly, aesthetic activities: music, singing, painting. But this is not daily bread, but sweets. Secondly, some kind of handicraft - knitting, embroidery and the like. Thirdly, the best remedy against boredom is to find a taste for serious reading and study of subjects not yet known. And it’s not so much reading that drives away boredom, but studying.” Then I decided to share this recipe with you just in case. But now there was a need for it. Take the trouble to take note of this and arrange it that way. And, of course, you will no longer experience boredom. I know one person who is always alone - he doesn’t go out anywhere and doesn’t accept others. They ask him: “Are you not bored?” He replies: “I have no time. There’s so much to do that as soon as I open my eyes after sleep, I do and do and don’t have time to redo them before I close them.” Let me note for you that by the study that the father of his daughter is talking about, we mean the study of either entire sciences, or some parts of them that have not been fully completed. This obviously eliminates all empty reading of empty books. It seems that you are not a hunter for him. And good. Do not deviate from this custom. Read more spiritual books. This is the area of ​​the most serious subjects and, most importantly, the most essential. In this area, everything is new and never gets old. The more you learn, the more you will see things that have not yet been known. And the desire to learn these objects, and the adaptability to knowledge of them, occurs only when someone actually embarks on the path of spiritual life. From the moment you decided to please the Lord, I consider you not alien to this path. If you please, read books about this and learn how to do it. God bless you! You might be interested in: