57. Разные степени развития страсти: страстные мысли, чувства, желания и действия. Борьба с ними

That the passionate is shown in us is not an inevitable misfortune. This means we are unclean, but does not make us guilty. Our guilt begins with how we react favorably to the passionate thing we notice, that is, we do not rush to recognize him as an enemy and do not arm ourselves with anger against him, but, on the contrary, we accept him and begin to admire him, enjoying the movement in which he appeared. This will already show that we are not averse to being friends with the passionate and, therefore, enemies of God. For all “carnal wisdom”—passionate—is “enmity against God” (Rom. 8:7). Where arbitrariness begins, guilt also begins, which grows as it deepens into passion. I will describe to you how it all happens. Our usual state is this: thoughts wander here and there, feelings and desires, although they sway, are without a definite direction. This happens all the time. Sometimes whole days go by like this. These thoughts are mostly vain, attached to current everyday affairs and improvised activities. Between them there is often idle thinking, or dreaming about who knows what. Both empty and vain thoughts crowd mostly on the surface of the soul. How to tame and streamline this confusion of thoughts, which prevents you from remembering God and Divine things, has already been explained to you more than once. But look: one object has somehow become special among the others and requires attention. Notice this moment: it has become and requires attention. And never let it pass without attention. Now do the interrogation: who is he, where is he from and what does he want? You yourself will immediately find the answers to this by looking only at what has presented itself. Let's say this is the face of a person who once insulted you. It is obvious that someone wants, by occupying your attention with this person and his work, to drive you to indignation, anger and even a desire for revenge. This is how it will happen if you don’t take the proper measures. What measures should be taken to drive away this idea? What it wants to bring you to is a bad state. Therefore, he is your enemy. Treat him with hostility, that is, conduct him not with honor, but with the method that was discussed last time - namely, angry rejection. If you do this, you will completely disrupt the enemy's ruse or network. But if you focus your attention on the face that presents itself, then it, at first bare and isolated, will be surrounded by many other thoughts and images that will paint in your imagination a very vivid picture of how this person insulted you, with all the connections of that incident. Along with this, the old feeling of insult, indignation and anger will rise in the heart. A passionate object or thought about it gave rise to a passionate feeling. The passion went deeper. If you come to your senses and realize that you are doing something bad by allowing yourself to flare up with passion, then, of course, you will see the enemy in this too and treat him with hostility, expelling the bad feeling from your heart and driving out of your thoughts the very object that gave rise to it. The confusion will pass and peace of mind will be restored. But if you don’t do this, then others will approach the already insurgent passionate feeling and stir it up. They will start to explain to you: “How dare he? And what kind of great person is he? I myself am no worse than him. No, it can't be left like that. And I don’t know how I missed it then. If you let everyone down like that, then you can’t live. We must certainly prove to him that he cannot do this with impunity.” And behold, the desire to take revenge - big or small revenge, it’s all the same - you’re ready. The passion went even deeper. This is already the third stage. If you come to your senses here too, you can drive away the desire. For desire does not mean determination. It comes one minute, and the next it can go away. Do this and you will do good; If you don’t act, your fear will go further. Notice: thought gave birth to feeling, thought and feeling gave birth to desire. The soul is full of passion. But all these are still mental impurities and sins. There's still a long way to go. Between desire and deed there is always a determination to do something with consideration of how to carry it out. How determination is formed is not always visible. It exists in a weak form already in desire, then it grows along with thinking about the matter, that is, the selection of means and the establishment of methods and circumstances. When everything is thought out, the determination is completed. Then the work inside is already done. In the face of God and conscience, sin has already been committed: the commandments are despised, conscience is trampled upon. Sometimes a lot of time passes from wish to decision to thinking about the matter. The fear of God comes, the commandments are remembered, and the conscience is not silent. But all their saving suggestions are rejected with contempt. Therefore, in determination there is already a crime and a sin. Thought, feeling and desire, although they have already occupied the whole soul, still seem to occur on the surface of the soul. There is no inclination towards sin yet, but only a urge to do so. The slope begins from the moment the soul begins to consider whether and how passion can be satisfied. Here the soul already enters the path of sin. When determination is formed, freedom is bound, the soul feels as if it is absolutely necessary to do what is planned. But there is no need for this. This is some kind of internal self-deception going on. What was decided may remain unfulfilled due to unexpected obstacles. It can also be abandoned because a person decides to commit it himself, for some reason or out of conscience and fear of God, if they have to rise up fully armed with their strength. Finally everything was settled - and the job was done. You took your revenge as you intended. The passion is satisfied, the sin is finally done. What has been added here to the previously matured determination? As if it was nothing, because here only a plan that had already been thought out was being carried out. It seems so, but in essence the crime here increases to the extreme. First: the fear of God and conscience were hitherto only rejected and disrespected, but now they are trampled upon. Until now, it was like how a mother persuades her son not to do something bad, and he pushes her away with his hand or runs away from her, but now it’s like how a son, in response to his mother’s persuasion, hits her in the chest or face. Second: now the internal matter is introduced during external events and must be accompanied by its consequences, also external - everyday. You cannot erase it with a pen or a negative word from the circle of events. It will remain here forever and will always be attached to the person who made it, forcing him to eat its fruits. Third: the grace of God departs, and man enters from the realm of God into the realm of God’s enemy and his own. He is drooping, burdened, feeling oppressed by some kind of heaviness. A parable is fulfilled over him: the demon returns with seven others (Matthew 12:45). Gloom, anxiety, burden - this is the reward of satisfied passion, of all kinds. And behold - a miracle! As long as passion is not satisfied by deed, paradise awaits from its satisfaction: “you will be like gods” (Gen. 3:5). But as soon as it is satisfied, the charm falls from the eyes, the ghost dissipates and leaves only emptiness, tightness, frustration and burden - it sees that it is naked. He took revenge on the enemy, he would have rejoiced as expected, but what turns out is completely different. Do you see what is the road to exacerbating yourself with some passion and falling into sin as a result? Let's turn to you now. What is possible in you from all that has been said? If your determination to work for the Lord is sincere, if, having made such a decision, you follow the advice offered to you - to always remember God with fear and reverence, if you strictly look after yourself, then it is impossible for you to have an inclination to satisfy a passionate desire and all that follows. But passionate thoughts, feelings and wishes are possible. And these are the objects of your internal struggle. A thought, feeling and wish - passionate - sometimes run through the soul in an instant, not allowing you to come to your senses. In this case, they do not make us guilty, as long as, having come to our senses when even a desire arises, we drive them away with hostile anger at them. Our guilt in thoughts, feelings, and desires depends on our delay in dealing with them, after we notice them and do not drive them away, but dwell on them. Banish the thought - there will be no feeling or sympathy. Drive away the feeling with thoughts - there will be no desire. Drive away the desire - there will be no danger of starting to be passionate. If, having noticed a passionate thought, you arbitrarily focus your attention on it, you are guilty: why did you bother with someone you know is the enemy of God and yours. But if attention is involuntarily drawn to a thought, you are not guilty if you immediately begin to divert attention from it and drive it away. If, as a result of your voluntary attention to a passionate thought, a passionate feeling is generated in you, then your guilt increases slightly. But if, having noticed the generation of a passionate feeling, you continue to engage in passionate thoughts and, therefore, arbitrarily inflate the feeling, then your guilt will increase twice as much as before. If, having noticed a passionate feeling, you wake up and drive it away along with the thought, then you will only be guilty of the fact that you voluntarily engaged in a passionate thought, but you are not guilty of the feeling, for they are involuntarily born under the influence of thoughts. If, under the influence of a passionate thought and feeling, arbitrarily admitted, a desire for a passionate deed (for example, to take revenge) is born in you, then this also slightly increases your guilt, because a desire is involuntarily generated from thoughts and feelings. The guilt remains the same on you, why did you engage in a passionate subject and, when a passionate feeling was born from this, why did you allow the feeling and the thought that gave rise to it to continue in you, that is, double guilt. But if you, having noticed a passionate desire, allow it to linger within you, and do not immediately arm yourself against it, then your guilt will increase by one more degree - it will be triple. I will not go further than this, because only up to now I have imagined the possibility of intimidating you. You see for yourself that if you immediately drive away the passionate thought, you will put an end to the whole struggle. There will be no more feelings, much less wishes. And put it into action. Because of what reason will you incur extra labor of struggle, and sometimes danger, when you are already supposed to not allow passionate, as if ungodly. If a feeling involuntarily stirs along with a thought, immediately drive away the feeling and thought. If desire involuntarily clings to them, immediately drive away the desire along with them. Whenever you find a passionate movement in yourself, then drive it away. Make it a law that neither a thought, nor a feeling, nor a passionate desire should be arbitrarily indulged, but should be driven out with complete hatred as soon as you notice it. And you will always be innocent both before God and before your conscience. There will be impurity of passions in you, but also innocence. You will perform the work of a whitewasher (laundry), working diligently to whiten your soul. You might be interested in: