48. Как достигнуть надлежащей нерассеянной молитвы. Приготовление к должному отправлению молитвы

You write that you can’t cope with your thoughts, everyone is running away, and prayer is not going at all as you would like; and during the day, among activities and meetings with others, you hardly remember God. Suddenly it’s impossible. You have to work hard so that your thoughts are at least somewhat established; and as you expected: just start, there it is, it never happens. It’s a success that you began to notice it and consider it unnecessary. And before, the same thing happened, but there was little grief, but now you not only notice the disorder of your thoughts, but you are also worried about it and express a desire to how to cope with them. And if you please, continue and stir up this anxiety and strain your efforts to correct your malfunction. I have already written that constancy and continuity of work on oneself is an essential condition for success in spiritual life. Lasting peace of thoughts is a gift from God, but this gift is not given without intense personal labor. And with your labors alone you will not achieve anything, and God will not give you anything if you do not work hard. This is the urgent law. You have a book of conversations of St. Macarius of Egypt. Please read the 19th conversation about how Christians should force themselves to do every good thing. It is written there that “one must force oneself to pray if one does not have spiritual prayer,” and that “in this case, God, seeing that a person strives hard and, against the will of the heart, curbs himself (that is, his thoughts), gives him true prayer,” that is, undistracted, collected, in-depth, when the mind is persistently submitted to God. And as soon as during prayer the mind begins to continually abide with God, then afterwards it will no longer want to depart from Him, for with this is associated sweetness, having tasted it, they do not want to taste anything else. And what kind of work must be used here, I have already mentioned more than once: do not allow thoughts to wander arbitrarily, and when they involuntarily run away, immediately turn them back, reproaching yourself, regretting and being sick about this disorder. Saint Climacus says to this that “one must forcefully enclose one’s mind in the words of prayer.” When you memorize the prayers, as I wrote last time, maybe things will go better. It would be best to go to church, there the spirit of prayer would soon be revealed, because everything there is directed towards that; but this is an inconvenient matter for you. Try at home to learn to pray without distraction and spend the rest of your time with God as much as you can. When memorizing prayers, do not forget to delve into every word and feel every word, then during prayer those words will attract your attention and warm up your prayerful feeling. Do this one more thing. Don’t suddenly start praying after household chores, talking and running around, but prepare a little for it, trying to gather your thoughts in advance and direct them to stand before God as you deserve. Arouse in yourself a feeling of need for prayer, and precisely at this hour, for there may not be another. Do not forget also to restore awareness of your spiritual needs and, most importantly, your real need: organizing your thoughts in prayer with the desire to find satisfaction for them, and precisely in God. When there is consciousness and feeling of such needs in your heart, then the heart itself will not allow you to run away with thoughts on something else, but will force you to beg the Lord for them. Most of all, feel your all-round helplessness as strongly as possible: that if it is not God, then you will be completely lost. If someone is threatened by trouble, and he has a face in front of him that can save him from this trouble with one wave, will he look around here and there? No, he will fall before him and beg. So it will be with you in prayer when you approach it with a feeling of all-round misfortune and the consciousness that there is no one to deliver you except the One God. We all have a considerable sin that, while we approach every other task with some preparation, no matter how small it may be, we take up prayer in the wind and rush to finish it as quickly as possible, as if this is some kind of passing thing, an appendage to the affairs, and not the most important of them. Where does the concentration of thoughts and feelings for prayer come from? So she walks somehow, out of order. No, if you please, deny yourself this sin and under no circumstances allow yourself to be frivolous in relation to prayer. Bring yourself to the conviction that such an attitude towards prayer is a crime, and the most serious crime is a criminal one. Consider prayer the first thing in your life and have it in your heart. Then proceed to it as the first task, and not as an interim task. Work hard. God be your help. But make sure you do what is prescribed for you. If you start doing it, you will soon see the fruit. Strive to feel the sweetness of true prayer. When you feel it, then it will attract you to prayer and inspire you to difficult and attentive prayer. God bless you! You might be interested in: