40. Опасение охлаждения в будущем. Разные причины охлаждения к духовной жизни. Как вести себя при появляющихся охлаждениях

You are afraid that you won’t finish it, even though you start diligently. Yes, we should be afraid of this, for we are often changeable in front of ourselves and against ourselves. There's no point in relying on yourself. All hope is in the Lord. Do not abandon this fear, but support it either with the fear of offending your beloved Lord, or with the fear that, having weakened, you will no longer rise to such inspiration, and then today or tomorrow death. Afterwards, this fear will pass and be replaced by the sure hope of salvation, but now do not leave it: it will ignite jealousy and drive away urges to indulgence, which are very harmful. As a result, you will have a constant cry in your heart: “Oh, Lord, save me! Oh, Lord, hurry up!” And: “In the image of fate, save me, unworthy!” This is what I always call a painful approach to the Lord in the heart. The enemies are strong, both outside and inside you don’t know how storms will arise and confuse you. You fall and you're gone. So he cried out: “Oh, Lord, save me!” This is the “contrite and humble heart” about which the repentant prophet David says that the Lord does not humiliate him, does not despise him, but listens to him (Ps. 50:19). Take this into account. As you have already seen this danger, then you should put in a little: always feel it and cry for help. This feeling of painful falling towards the Lord from the awareness of surrounding dangers that can stop the flow of spiritual life and drown it out should be a constant feeling. Notice this. Whoever has it means he walks, and he walks the straight path. This is the most decisive sign of this! You write: “God would grant that the current readiness for the work we are starting does not weaken longer.” Not longer, but it should never weaken. Note that this readiness, otherwise zeal to work for the Lord, or zeal for pleasing God, or the determination to devote oneself to serving the Lord by strictly fulfilling His commandments (which are all the same thing: the words are different, but the deed is the same), constitutes spiritual life. When there is this readiness, there is spiritual life, and when it is not there, there is no spiritual life. When she is gone, it is the same as spiritual breathing will stop and the spiritual heart will stop beating: the spirit either dies or freezes. That is why the first concern of anyone entering God’s path should be to support and fuel this readiness, zeal and zeal in every possible way. You can limit all subsequent rules to this one, that is, take care only of this jealousy and readiness, it will teach you and will constantly teach you what to do and when to do it. Notice this! This, together with the previous painful fall to the Lord, is the root of spiritual life, its protection and fencing. The enemy of this fundamental disposition, and therefore the main enemy, you have well defined: cooling. Oh, bitter and most bitter thing! But know that not every diminishing of the heat of jealousy is a harmful cooling. It also happens due to excessive tension of mental strength, and it also happens due to loss of physical strength or ill health. Both are fine, they will pass. It is disastrous to cool down as a result of arbitrary deviation from the will of God, with consciousness and in defiance of conscience, which admonished and stopped, with an addiction to something not Divine. This kills the spirit and stops spiritual life. And this is what you should fear most of all, fear it like fire, like death. It happens due to loss of attention to oneself and fear of God. Watch them in order to avoid that terrible evil. As for involuntary accidental coldness due to exhaustion and ill health, there is only one law for them: to endure, without violating the established pious orders in any way, although they will be carried out without any taste. Whoever endures this patiently, soon loses his coolness and returns to normal, warm, heartfelt jealousy. If you please, take this into account and from now on, firstly, do not allow jealousy to cool down arbitrarily, and secondly, in the event of accidental cooling, push and pull the established routine in the confidence that this dry execution of affairs will soon return the liveliness and warmth of zeal. Everything written to you in the last two letters will be useful to you later, when you actually lead a new life. But just as you, even now, when restructuring the order of life, albeit mentally for now, must take into account all possible contingencies ahead, I thought it would not be superfluous to tell all this in greater detail now, especially since your words gave rise to this. This is why I was glad that you, perhaps without noticing it yourself, touched upon the most essential aspects of spiritual life. This means that your mind is working correctly. The Lord, seeing your readiness to serve Him wholeheartedly, helps you, and you yourself do not know how certain assumptions and fears come to mind. This is the Guardian Angel, at the command of the Lord, interpreting for you. God bless your endeavor! I wish you success with all my heart. When you begin to work on yourself, you will see that all external guidance and instructions are only aids. What exactly the soul needs and how best to act in this or that case, every soul must decide for itself, with the help of God’s grace, invisibly guiding it. He who sincerely desires to please the Lord and who has completely surrendered himself to Him always finds himself in the real business, but he takes it with humility. I conclude with good wishes, may the Lord help you complete your present fast in the most successful way. You might be interested in: