Часть 12. В неделю пятую Великого поста

On the fifth week of Great Lent (here is a lesson for us: do not appropriate the Kingdom of Heaven to yourself) Why did the Lord refuse the holy apostles James and John with their request? They did not ask for anything bad - namely, a place in the Kingdom of Christ the Savior: “Create that... one will be on the right hand, and the other on the left... will sit... in Your Kingdom” (Matthew 20:21). Is it really impossible to pray about this? But it is also commanded: “Seek... first the Kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:33), and the Holy Church teaches us all to pray: “Do not deprive us, Lord, of Your Heavenly Kingdom.” What is the reason that they were refused? After all, they received the Kingdom and were glorified? The reason is that they assumed to themselves the right to the Kingdom, and not only to the Kingdom, but also to a certain, most honorable place in the Kingdom. But it is impossible to appropriate to ourselves not only a certain degree of glory in the Kingdom, but also the Kingdom itself, for this gift consists in the will of the Heavenly Father, which even with strict fulfillment of all conditions cannot be known to us. “My gift is not mine,” says the Lord, “but it will be given to him from My Father in heaven” (Matthew 20:23). So here is the lesson for us from the current Gospel: not to appropriate the Kingdom for ourselves and, working diligently to receive it, surrender the very receipt to the will of God, expect it as mercy from our Heavenly Father, work in hope without pretensions, saying to ourselves: “For we are unworthy servants,” even if we did “everything commanded” (Luke 17:10). It is necessary to remind us of this, because after a little effort we begin to “blow a trumpet before ourselves” (Matthew 6:2), to exalt ourselves and place ourselves in the ranks of the saints and greats, and although we humbly speak about ourselves with our tongues, in our hearts we feel differently, and thereby we destroy ourselves through foolishness and imprudence. “With fear and trembling” we must “work out” “our own salvation” ( Phil. 2:12), and not boldly command the God of the laws to grant it to us, but flee from this destructive weakness, and interpret what such a rule and such confidence can be based on completely differently - in the form of humility, and not self-exaltation. What disposed the sons of Zebedee and their mother to turn to the Lord with such a petition? That, first, that they were of the number of believers to whom great promises were given; then, secondly, that they rendered special service to the Lord during His stay on earth, for the mother served Him from her estates along with others; then, thirdly, that they have already received from the Lord signs of special favor and closeness. Everything similar is appropriate for us. But in all this there is no reason for claims, but only an incentive for humility and greater zeal for receiving the Kingdom. And among us, someone else appropriates the Kingdom for himself because he is a Christian, and Christians are told: “Believe in the Son, and I am the Eternal Life” (John 3:36). Truly it is so. The Kingdom of God belongs to Christians. It is arranged only for Christians. But one must be a true Christian in order to appropriate to oneself what is promised to Christians. But whether each of us is a true Christian, we ourselves cannot determine. And the Lord Himself will determine this in the future, saying to one: “He is a good servant,” and to another: “A lazy and wicked servant” (Matthew 25:23, 26). So, the fact that we are Christians is not a basis for claims, but an incentive to humility, fear and greater zeal to show ourselves to be true Christians. And among us, another appropriates the Kingdom for himself for the sake of performing some kind of service to the Lord. Someone else will fast, go to church, pray at home, give alms, set up an almshouse, and still work for the Lord - and begins to think that he has already entered the saints, and to appropriate the bright abodes of Heaven for himself. All these works are commendable and necessary in the work of salvation. But the Lord is not satisfied with them alone, but what does he say? “Son, give to My... heart” (Proverbs 23:26). In addition to deeds of piety and works of goodness, one must also devote all the feelings of the heart to the Lord. But whether these feelings are dedicated, only the All-Seeing Eye of God can definitely know this, but this is hidden from us by our pride. So, from the fact that we have worked, we should not come to the point of boldly appropriating for ourselves the dignity of those close to God, but to have in it an incentive to fear or a cautious thought: “Is this how we flow, should we not work in vain?” In order to ascend from here to jealousy, carefully observe the movements of the heart and try to correct them and direct them to the Lord, so as not to love anything but Him, and if we are disposed towards something, to be disposed towards it only for the sake of the Lord. And among us, another Kingdom appropriates itself for the sake of the fact that it sometimes receives signs of God’s special favor, or His approach, such as: special deepening in prayer, special enlightenment of thoughts, warmth of the heart, a sense of moral strength and external protection of God in everyday and civil affairs. All this happens and is indeed a sign of God’s special favor and mercy, but this should not lead one to think: “Behold, we have already achieved it,” but to become more inflamed with zeal for achievement, like the Apostle, who, even after receiving the gift, said: “I will pursue... if I... comprehend” (Phil. 3:12), that is, I strive more and more - will I not achieve? the child’s head or gives him candy because he begins to sort out the letters and put them together, does this mean that the father considers the child perfect? And would the child do well if, dreaming that he was already equal to a good reader, he gave up the alphabet? Signs of God's special favor are given not in order to declare the final perfection of the one who receives them, but then in order to excite him to be more and more zealous about what he has begun - in the confidence that it does not “flow in vain” (Gal. 2:2); but whether he reaches the end, whether he receives it, and what he receives, is in the will of the common Lord of all. So, there is no reason why we could appropriate the Kingdom to ourselves. “What can we do? - another will say. – After all, this can relax any hunt. What is there to work from? Work in the hope of receiving without assigning rights and claims to yourself. The path we follow is true and leads directly to the Kingdom of Heaven. And direct all your zeal to guide your mother-in-law along this path faithfully, without deviation, and you will undoubtedly come to the gates of the Kingdom, but do not take this for yourself in advance. Give this right to the Lord in order to receive this from Him as mercy. Now, look how the saints of God acted in this regard. One saint shone with great virtues, but when he died, he cried. The brothers asked: “Are you really afraid, father?” He answered: “All my life I have been zealous to follow the true path, but I do not know what the merciful Master will determine about me.” Satan tried in every possible way to tempt another saint with self-appropriation of salvation. When he was dying, Satan told him: “You have defeated me” (and this is the same as being saved and entering the Kingdom of God). The saint answered: “You are a lie and you are lying that I defeated you. The time has not yet come to say this.” While going through the ordeal, Satan again says to the saint: “You have defeated me.” “Go away, you crafty charm,” answered the saint, “the time has not yet come to speak like that.” When the saint entered the very gates of the Kingdom, Satan shouted from afar: “You have defeated me.” The saint answered: “Now I believe that you are defeated, but it was not I who defeated you, but my Lord Jesus Christ in me, unworthy, defeated you.” This is how one must avoid appropriating the Kingdom for oneself despite all the efforts to obtain it. But not at all in order to relax in jealousy or to be inclined to hopelessly receive the Kingdom, and then, “with fear and trembling” to work out “your own salvation” (Phil. 2:12), to become more and more inflamed with zeal for receiving it. Work without sparing your strength and stomach, but do not look at what has been done, and do not dream about what you should receive for what you have done, but pay all your attention to what you still have to do, and be afraid to miss anything that you should do. Work with undoubted aspirations without appropriation. But you shouldn’t despair. Look at Mary of Egypt. This Sunday is dedicated to her. After turning from a sinful life to the Lord, what labors did she not undertake? But until her death she kept saying: “I am an indecent sinner, unworthy of any of God’s mercies.” And then, as if by foresight, she even guessed Zosima’s name. It’s impossible otherwise. He who truly works sees clearly that if not for the help of God, nothing can be done. As this lesson is repeated throughout one’s life, one conviction is formed in the heart: that ours is only bad, all that is good is from the Lord. What remains from here? There is only one thing left to do - cry out: “God, be merciful to us sinners!” (Luke 18:13). But without any movement of despair or even hopelessness. Here is the Lord, when he offered the sons of Zebedee a condition: “Can you drink the cup?” , - and they promised: “We can” (Matt. 20, 22), that is, they accepted the condition, did not tell them: “You will not receive,” but only said that “My gift is not mine, but to whom My Father is pleased to give” (Matt. 20, 23). That is: “Drink the cup, bear all the difficulties associated with following Me, but for that you receive the Kingdom and the degree of glory in the Kingdom, commit it to the will of My Heavenly Father.” And this is the same thing: work in aspiration without appropriation. Here you are, brothers and sisters, “that you may comprehend” (1 Cor. 9:24)! Amen. On the fifth week of Lent (how we can learn from the conversion of St. Mary of Egypt, or about the veils of sin) The example of the repentance of Saint Mary of Egypt is so comprehensive and so instructive that the Holy Church especially wants to impress it on our hearts. Why, in addition to the day of her memory, this Sunday is dedicated to her, that is, the fifth week of Great Lent, and, besides this, her name signifies the standing at which her canon is united with the Great Penitential Canon. It seems that there is enough incentive to pay attention to her treatment and learn from it. Let's listen to this lesson. I won’t analyze the entire life of the saint. I will dwell on the first action of God’s grace on her, which awakened her from the slumber of sin. And I will stop not to invite you to imitate, for how to imitate what is not from us, but then to point out how everyone can and should dispose themselves to be worthy of the same grace. The appeal of Saint Mary of Egypt belongs to the extraordinary appeals. You see that she is completely immersed in sin and does not think of leaving him behind. But grace comes and, with its amazing action, awakens her from the slumber of sin. Awakened, she sees the disastrous nature of her condition and decides to change for the better. With her it was the same as if someone was immersed in mud and a stranger came up and with a strong hand pulled him out of its depths and set him free on solid ground. This was also the conversion of the Holy Apostle Paul and many others. But what belongs to the special extraordinary actions of God cannot therefore be common to everyone. And if someone, based on these examples, abandoned all concern on his part about his conversion and all compulsion of himself to it, saying, as if by grace: “Come, take it, and I will go,” he would be unjust and would destroy himself, surrendering himself into the hands of his fall. The common path for all is this: “Seek, and you will find; press, and it will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7). Although even in this case the action of converting grace is also marked by defeat and shock, it is prepared by personal labor, lured out, forced, as it were, from the Lord. The Lord sees painful work and gives according to the work. But in the first, He does not expect this work, but acts directly, and the work will follow only then. This is how the Lord acts over His special chosen ones. We need to follow a common path and force ourselves to convert when we have “an opportune time” and are passing through the “days of salvation” (2 Cor. 6:2). What should we do to ourselves in order to deserve this grace of conversion, what should we bother ourselves with, why should we force ourselves to do so, in order to show the All-Seeing Lord that we desire, and seek, and thirst for His saving all-effect in us? I'll tell you this briefly. Let us take a person in such a situation that only a simple thought came to him: should he really take care of himself and think about improving his life. A simple thought, but there is no sympathy for it, no desire to follow its suggestions. The mind only demands. But no matter how much the mind demands this, nothing will happen until jealousy and the energy of a lulled conscience are aroused. Let us now lead the soul to the arousal of this jealousy, which in some way, as a heavenly guest, was visited by the thought of salvation. So, the thought of correcting yourself came: whether your conscience inspired it or the Guardian Angel brought it, do not throw it away, but immediately take hold of it and begin to perform on yourself, so to speak, operations that would give this thought the opportunity to master all the powers of your being. Act in this experience opposite to how sin acts in us, in general opposite to the order of dispositions by which a person is delayed in sin. Sin entangles the soul in many nets or hides itself from it under many veils, because in itself it is ugly and could repel anyone from itself the first time. These veils are: the deepest and closest veil to the heart, composed of self-delusion, insensibility and carelessness; higher above it and closer to the surface of the soul lies absent-mindedness with over-concern; then follows the upper cover - the predominance of the flesh and the external order of external life, saturated with sins and passions. Sin lives in the heart, from there it takes possession of the entire soul, penetrates the body and into all our affairs and relationships, or into all behavior. So, begin to remove these covers one by one in order to expose the spirit entangled in them, just as one removes layer after layer from the earth in order to reveal the treasure hidden there. Start with the outermost cover. First. Stop for a while your usual affairs and relationships, especially those that feed your ruling passion. The eye, ear, tongue are the widest channels of sinful food. Stop them with solitude. Second. Then take charge of the body: deny it not only pleasures, but also reduce the satisfaction of the necessary needs of sleep and food. If you refine the flesh, the soul will be freed from the coherence of matter, it will become more mobile, lighter and more receptive to good impressions. This is what makes a prudent fast. Third. Solitude and fasting make it easier for the soul to turn to itself. But, entering herself, she encounters terrible confusion there, caused by over-concern and scattering of thoughts. Concerns, now about one thing, now about another, now about a third, crowd into the heart and do not allow the soul to occupy itself with itself, do not allow it to stop, but everyone drives it forward and forward. So we need to suppress them, drive them out of the soul and heart, even if it’s only for a while. Until this is done, no further actions on oneself are possible or they will remain completely fruitless. Care aches or sharpens the heart. But even when this is not the case, empty thoughts wander in the head one after another or one in spite of the other and create the same confusion there that happens in a blizzard or storm. In such a state, nothing strong and solid can be sown in the soul. Why do you need to gather your scattered children - your thoughts - into one, like a shepherd gathers his sheep or like convex glass collects the scattered rays of the sun, and turn them all towards yourself. This is produced by attention, or sobriety. Fourth. Let the worries finally subside, thoughts calm down, the mind gather in itself and settle on one thing. Three or four covers have already been removed. You are now standing next to your heart. Before you is your inner man, immersed in the sleep of carelessness, insensibility and blindness. Now proceed cheerfully and work hard. The main thing will begin - awakening from sleep. First of all, hasten to remove from the eyes of the mind the veils that keep it blind. Why is a person not afraid for himself and does not take care of himself? Because he does not see the danger of his position. If he had seen this, he could not have remained calm, just as someone who sees that it is on fire cannot sit calmly in a house. A sinner does not see the danger of his position because, through some kind of delusion, he sees himself in a satisfactorily good state. False, flattering ideas creep into him, which, like some kind of net, entangle the mind and close a person from himself. There are a lot of these ideas, or subtle thoughts. Another, for example, says: “I am a Christian” - and remains calm, like the Jews who said: “I am the seed of Abraham” (John 8:33), transfers to himself the advantages and promises of Christianity - without Christianity, or adopts a name, place and clothing that can lie and be supported only by strength and inner dignity. For another, a visible external state comes to mind or physical perfections creep into the eyes: strength and beauty and spiritual gifts - mental and aesthetic, and they blind him the more strongly the more sharply they differ from everyone around him. Another is blinded by some prominent deeds or even active perfections, such as: prudence and circumspection, especially when this has managed to surround him with respect, not even from just the common people. And another, finally, rests on the fact that he is not alone: ​​so-and-so is the same, and so-and-so, even that one, deceives himself with the spilling of sinful customs, as if the multitude of sinners makes sin less sinful. Such and similar thoughts keep you blind. Why, having entered into yourself and focusing your attention, begin to take away these supports of blindness, destroy these empty hopes, or these “not thinking of guilt about sins” (inventing excuses for sins) (Ps. 140, 4), against which the prophet David prayed. Bring any of these thoughts to the environment and strike it with Christian sanity. Convince yourself that your Christianity is worthless if you are bad, that your perfections condemn you more than justify you, if they are not converted to the glory of God, that neither the respect you receive from others nor their thinness will help you. Reasoning this way, little by little you will unite in thoughts and become one before the gaze of your mind and conscience, which will strongly raise a voice against you, especially when, having compared you as you are with what you should be, they find that you are worthless. If, as a result of this, you begin to feel a sense of fear or shyness for yourself, then this is a good sign. This is a harbinger of the flight of sin, just as the wavering of the military ranks foreshadows the imminent flight of the entire army. Thus, along with self-vision, well-being awakens. Why, keeping up with the reasoning that exposes blindness, following the first movement of spiritual feeling, amaze yourself even more and shake your heart with any ideas that can turn you away from sin and arouse disgust for it. Imagine more vividly what sin is in yourself. This is an ulcer, the most disastrous of all ulcers: it separates you from God, upsets the soul and body, gives you over to torment of conscience, exposes you to disasters in life, in death and after death, concludes heaven, plunges you into hell. Perhaps, with such thoughts, disgust for this monster will develop in the heart. Put sin in relation to the devil and see what an ugly friend and despot you acquire through sin. The devil has a dispute with God. He seems to be saying to Him, the All-Generous: “You give them everything, but they deviate from Your will, but I don’t give anything, but I do what they work for me alone with such tirelessness.” He's a flatterer. Now, plunging us into sins, he promises some sweetness for them, and then with evil mockery he will expose them to our reproach if we do not repent. He shakes with evil joy if anyone falls into his hands. Remember all this, perhaps you will feel hostility towards this hater of ours and his work in us - sin. Finally, turn to God and judge what sin is in the presence of Him - the Omniscient and Omnipresent, the All-Good and All-Bountiful, our Provider and Redeemer. Having exposed yourself in criminal inattention to Him, fearlessness and ingratitude, perhaps you will arouse in yourself saving pity and “sorrow... for God” (2 Cor. 7:10). When in this way we push crushing feelings into our hearts one after another, then disgust and hatred of sin, then fear and horror towards the master of sin, then pity and sadness for the Lord, it will little by little warm up and begin to move. Just as streams of electricity impart some tension and excitement to the body, or just as cool, clean air imparts some freshness and mobility, so these feelings will set in motion the lulled energy of active forces, finally inducing a person to stand up and act for his salvation in his dangerous situation. These are the first movements of concern for the salvation of the soul. When this happens, do not hesitate to act on yourself from this side, drive away the sleep of carelessness. Force yourself to flex your strength in every possible way and get down to business now, without delay. If you put it off, it will be worse: you will become more accustomed to sin, sin will become more diverse in you, and circumstances and sinful connections will become more confusing. You will finally be so weighed down by sin that you will not get up: you will go beyond the line, because of which, perhaps, there is no return. Hurry up! Remember at this “your last” (Sir.7, 39). Say to yourself: “Here is death,” one or the other is dying near you, and soon your turn will come. Like a sword over your head, the blow of death is ready and will strike suddenly. Then the Judgment, your “secret” (Ps. 18:13) will appear before the Angels and all the saints. There you will be alone with your affairs. From them you will either be condemned or justified - either to heaven or to hell. Look, you don’t enter heaven with sins, and hell is sealed with the seal of God’s rejection. There is torment without joy or end. Isn’t it time to throw off this burden that is preparing such a disaster? To make the effect of all these thoughts more accurate, enclose them all in one image and carry it in your mind as a constant stimulus. “Imagine,” says Saint Tikhon, “above you is the sword of God’s truth, below you is hell, ready to devour you, in front of you is death, behind you is an abyss of sins, on your right and left are many evil enemies. Having settled in this way mentally, you will constantly hear an exciting voice within yourself: “Are you supposed to be careless?” With these and similar reasoning and actions, the last cover of sin, made up of carelessness, insensibility and blindness, will finally be removed. Now the sinner is open to himself, he is not insensitive to his dangerous situation and often rushes to get up and go, but this is not all done. What is obviously missing here is the main thing - blessed excitement. The work has been used, the search has been discovered, but all this constitutes only experiments, efforts to attract grace on our part, and is by no means the very thing that we are looking for. We search and press, but the gift is in the will of the Distributor, Who “divides power to everyone as he wants” (1 Cor. 12:11). So, with the careful use of the calculated means, go, waiting for the visit of God, which, although always ready, never comes with discretion. To do this, place yourself in those circumstances in which grace is accustomed to act, and go, as it were, towards it. Visit the churches of God and participate in all sacred ceremonies, read or listen to the word of God, have conversations with God-fearing people, begin some kind of charity or work, and above all, pray. Pray both in church and at home, compelling the Generosity to grant you, like your daily bread, grace-filled help for salvation. So work, strain, “seek and you will find.” So “open, and it will be opened” to you (Matthew 7:7). The Lord Savior will see this work for salvation and will send His saving goodness, which, having come, will break all the threads of sin and give the soul freedom of mother-in-law in the way of the Lord, whether in desert solitude or in a community circle! It will come, that is, what was given to Saint Mary of Egypt! What should be done next, the visitor of souls herself will teach, as she taught Mary of Egypt, as she teaches everyone who is worthy of her and submits to her. Judging by everything that we need to do on ourselves in order to gain this grace that incites conversion, you can see that the most favorable time for this is holy fasting, especially the Holy Pentecost. This is an abbreviated program of expedient fasting. That is why the example of Saint Mary of Egypt is offered to us now, within the framework of fasting, in order to bring this to our memory, to draw us to a careful analysis of whether we have spoken, and whether we have spoken properly. Anyone who has spoken properly should feel excited, revitalized, and tense to make efforts in the matter of salvation. His goal is either to acquire grace, or to return lost grace, or to strengthen its fire, which was beginning to fade, and not just to go to church and fast. And this external order is needed, but the main thing is to change the internal mood. If anyone has been worthy of this, thank the Lord; if not, there is still time. Start the saving field of working on yourself - and you will receive. The Lord is near. Draw closer to Him, and there will undoubtedly be a union between the lovingly sociable Lord and your soul, created in His image and likeness, sought by Him and possessed by Him. Amen. In the fifth week of Great Lent (about the three classes of sinners, or what is the key to the door of repentance?) How many weeks have we been singing: “Open the doors of repentance, O Giver of Life!” And every time we receive from the Lord a comforting and inspiring answer to repentance - either in the Gospel readings, or in memories connected with the week’s days. The matter of repentance is like if the Master of the House sits in the inner chambers and some persons, seeking entrance to Him, cry out from the outside: “Open to us, open the doors to us!” The master of the house from the inside answers to one: “Go, the door is open”; to another: “Go, the door is not locked, just closed, open and enter”; to the third: “The key is there, outside; Having found it, put it in the lock, turn it as the key requires, open it, and enter!” Different faces, different answers to them and different efforts when entering the door. But everyone, having entered the door, boldly enters, approaches the Master of the House, throws themselves at His feet, is rewarded with His merciful embrace and is placed close - to be comforted by this all-pleasing proximity of Him. Do you understand this parable? The Master of the House is the Lord who receives repentant sinners and again brings them closer to Himself. Of those who come to Him, who are the first to find the door open? These are those who, according to the previous Confession and Holy Communion, kept themselves pure from all sin, and did not defile their thoughts and feelings with any impurity, and kept the fire of jealousy unquenchable. Who were the second ones who found the door closed? These are those who sometimes weakened in zeal to please God, succumbed at times to carelessness and negligence, and although they kept themselves from mortal sins, they did not always keep their thoughts and feelings pure before the Lord. Who are the third for whom the door is closed and the key has been thrown away, so that it still needs to be found? These are those who have fallen into mortal sins, enslaved themselves to passions and sinful habits and thereby fallen into petrified insensibility, carelessness and blindness. We also belong to one of these classes. Which one should we classify ourselves as? To the first? Is there anyone like this? To the second? And these are rare. It remains to count yourself among the third. Blessed are the first. The second one is not entirely bad either. But we, burdened with sins and entangled in passions, will not despair. And the Lord is ready to receive us, and He calls us, and He will accept us and allow us to come to Himself. Even if the door is locked and you don’t know where the key is: let’s look and find it, open the door and go in to the Lord. The guarantee of success is Saint Mary of Egypt, now remembered. The door was impregnable and impenetrable for her. The Lord granted her the wisdom to enter. Let's follow her and we will achieve everything. What happened to her that the door, previously a non-entrance door for her, suddenly became an entrance door? After all, she didn’t do anything special. She immediately stood to the side and no one heard a sound from her lips. And a minute later she went and found the previously non-exit door - the entrance one. It happened that at that moment she found the key, opened the door, and removed all the obstacles. It is at this moment that we need to take a closer look and understand its power. What was going on here? You see for yourself that outwardly nothing happened here, but everything was accomplished by an internal change of thoughts and feelings. “I saw,” he says, “the whole abyss of sin, and horror seized me from the feeling of the wrath of God, ready to strike me for my sins. I was disgusted by my passion, which was destroying me, I turned away from it in my heart and began to hate it. And I made a vow to the Lord - not to return to my former abominations and to work for Him alone all the days of my life, offering the Most Pure Lady who gave birth to Him as His assistant.” That's what happened! Look closely, and you will find here the key, and the unlocking of the door, and the opening of it. What is the key to the door of repentance? These are the essence of painful feelings of repentance: a feeling of one’s sinfulness and guilt in it, a feeling of God’s wrath for sins and horror from it, a feeling of contrition and repentance for all sins. What is the process of turning the key to open a locked door? In disgust towards sin, in hating it, in turning the heart away from it and turning it to God and deeds pleasing to God. What is the opening of the door of repentance? With a strong and unshakable intention not to return to previous indecent deeds and with a sincere vow from now on to the One Lord to work all the days of the rest of your life. So - to acknowledge your sins, to lament and grieve over them, to turn away from them and turn to the Lord, promising not to indulge passions and sins - and the door is open. Well, if everything is done, we’ll go in right away? Not yet, you need to get permission to enter. This permission is purchased through our confession of our sins, and is given to us through the remission of sins from our spiritual father. After this, all that remains is to enter, approach the Master of the House and be worthy of His embrace and stand close to Him. This is accomplished through Holy Communion. Here, Saint Mary of Egypt showed us what the key to the closed door of repentance is, how to find it, how to turn it to unlock it, how to open the door and, finally, enter. Follow this trail, everyone who needs to. And who doesn’t need this? Let's go, everyone. No one refuses, no one lags behind others, no one despairs. The Householder calls everyone and is waiting for everyone. Let us go, urging each other and encouraging each other. Let us say to the one standing: “Why are you standing, do you really want to remain outside the shelter of His blessed one, why are you resting your feet and not moving? Don’t you cry out together with the Church, or do you only cry out with your tongue, and not with your heart: “Open the doors of repentance, O Life-Giver!”? Why are you standing? Get down to business. Everything is at your fingertips. A little work, and you will find everything, and you will succeed in everything. Here is the key, look at how to turn it, and how to open the door, and how to get a pass. Behold, look through the door opened by others into the arms of the Father, extended to you and ready to receive you. Will you really still hesitate, carelessly looking around here and there, wasting your short and precious time uselessly?” Yes, brothers, the precious time is already short! Dear time is a time of fasting and repentance. And he has a little over a week left. Missed it, can you wait for it again? I say this to those who have not yet been reconciled with the Lord and see themselves burdened with many sins. And I say as a warning, as if someone put off fasting week after week and did not put it off at all for this fast. And she will languish for a whole year under the weight of sins and the wrath of God for them. And it’s good if we live to see the next favorable time. Otherwise we will go to the next world unpardoned, and there, without us, of course, they will open the door for us, but no longer of repentance, they will push us into it and lock us forever, behind it we will be met not by the embrace of the Father, but by an unquenchable fire, a never-ending worm and the spirits of malice, our haters. Bringing this to mind, let us hasten, brethren, to open the door of repentance for ourselves, according to the instructions of the Venerable Mary of Egypt, through her prayers may the Lord make us wise in this matter that is so necessary for us. Amen. On the fifth week of Great Lent (two powerful ways through which Saint Mary of Egypt resisted the struggle and overcame sin) Now Saint Mary of Egypt is glorified, among the great sinners she is the great righteous woman. So, rejoice, sinners! Not only has the door of repentance been opened to you, but the palace of glory has also been opened to you. See what Mary was and became, and be inspired to courageously follow her path. The Lord called her, she got up and walked, and once she had walked, she never turned back. The Lord is calling us all now: and who has not responded to this merciful calling of His? Almost everyone had already spoken, confessed and received Holy Communion, that is, they heeded the calling and rebelled. Let us now follow unswervingly the path that Mary took, rising from her fall, in order to achieve what she finally achieved. Saint Mary, having repented, left everything and, having crossed the Jordan, there, in the desert, leading a cruel life, she was cleansed of passions and was saved. Here's a sample! Prepare to be imitated. Perhaps none of us literally took a vow to act this way, but everyone should act this way, if you look not at the external way of action, but at their spirit and strength. Having retired into the desert, Saint Mary distanced herself from the delights of the world and thereby removed all temptations from them. After this, sin could only attract her through the flesh. But there was no rest for the flesh in the desert. Fasting, lying down, heat and cold exhausted her. And here are two powerful ways through which she resisted the struggle and overcame sin: withdrawal from the world and exhaustion of the flesh. Exhaustion of the flesh is a method that is understandable and readily available to all of us. Reduce the amount of food, assign yourself more work and less rest and sleep, choose hard instead of softness, cold instead of warmth, tension instead of licentiousness, self-bitterness instead of all carnal pleasures, and you will exhaust and exhaust your flesh and thereby soil the passions that have their seat in it. But how can we who live in the world withdraw from the world? There is a withdrawal from the world by the body - this is a withdrawal into the desert. But there is a withdrawal from the world without leaving the world - a withdrawal from it by way of life. The first is not appropriate for everyone and not everyone can do it, but the second is mandatory for everyone and must be fulfilled by everyone. And this is what Saint Andrew invited us to in his canon, when he advised us to retire into the desert through good law. So, give up the customs of the world and every action you take and take every step as the good law of the Gospel commands, and in the midst of the world you will live as in the desert. Between you and the world this goodness will become like a wall, because of which the world will not be visible. He will be before your eyes, but not for you. The world will have its own alternations of changes, and you will have your own rank and order. He will go to the theater, and you to church; he will dance, and you will bow; he will be out for a walk, and you will be at home in solitude; he is in idle talk and ridicule, and you are in silence and praise of God; he is in joy, and you are in labor; he is in reading empty novels, and you are in reading God's word and fatherly writings; he is at a ball, and you are in conversation with a like-minded person or with a spiritual father; he is in selfish calculations, and you are in self-sacrifice; he is in passionate dreams, and you are in thoughts of God. And so draw rules for yourself in everything and establish orders of life that are opposite to the customs of the world, and you will be in a world outside the world, as in the desert. Neither you will be visible in the world, nor the world in you. You will be a desert dweller in the world. And you will become an imitator of Saint Mary without going into the desert. If, as I mentioned, you add to this that you keep your body in fasting, labor, vigil, and in general in the deprivation of all rest, then you will have both ways by which Saint Mary overcame her passions and was saved. I will shorten this in two words: avoid the peace of the flesh and establish a life order that is opposite to the customs of the world, or protect yourself with good laws. Do this - you will overcome passions, and you will be saved. For this is what you will have, as Saint Isaac teaches, if you prevail in these two ways: submissiveness of feelings, sobriety of mind, meekness of thoughts, bright movements of thought, diligence in deeds, high and subtle mental ideas, tears that know no measure, mortal memory, pure chastity, far from any dreams that tempt thought, mysterious concepts that the mind comprehends with the help of God words, fear, cutting off laziness and negligence and extinguishing all lust, and at the end of all - the freedom of a true person, spiritual joy and resurrection with Christ in the Kingdom. This is salvation. If anyone neglects these two methods, then let him know that he will not only harm himself in everything, but will also shake the very foundation of virtues. And just as they, if someone holds them within himself and remains in them, are the beginning and head of Divine work in the soul, the door and path to Christ, so if someone retreats and moves away from them, he will come to the opposite vices: carnality and bodily wandering, that is, walking according to the customs of the world, which open the entrance to the soul to all sins and all passions. For be kind only to the customs of the world, which are all nothing more than bodily wandering; be kind only to this wandering; see what will come of it! Inappropriate and unexpected gatherings (I continue the word of St. Isaac), leading to falls; a riot of strong sensations excited by vision; rapid inflammation that takes over the body; uncontrollable thoughts tending to fall; cooling of love for the works of God and complete abandonment of the rules of your new life; resumption of forgotten bad deeds and learning others that I did not know before. And the passions, which, by the grace of God, have already been mortified in the soul and destroyed by the oblivion of the memories stored in the mind, will again begin to move and force the soul to do them. This is what will be revealed in you as a result of one first indulgence, that is, the wandering of the body according to the customs of the world and impatience in enduring a sorrowful stay in the new order of life. And what will happen from carnal knowledge and, especially, gluttony, cannot be enumerated. Hence the heaviness in the head, great burden in the body and relaxation in the muscles, abandonment of prayer rules, laziness to bow down, darkness and coldness of the heart, coarseness of the mind and thoughts, darkness, a thick and impenetrable fog spreading throughout the soul, strong despondency and boredom in every work of God, as well as when reading, the inability to taste the sweetness of God’s words, wandering thoughts all over the earth, nasty ghosts filling the soul and kindling lust, an incessant and unbearable kindling in the whole body, and hence new seductive thoughts, with which, when combined, the soul falls in the passion of dishonor, first within itself - by copulation, and then outside - by deed itself. These are the bitter fruits of wandering according to the customs of the world and all the rest of the flesh! The enemy knows that whoever succumbs to them will be his faithful prey. Why is there an attempt in every possible way either to upset the established new order of good life, or to incline to some kind of indulgence of the flesh. Give up in one, you will fall into another, and in both cases you will not avoid falling into sin and returning to your former passions. Indulge the flesh, it will lead you to the indulgences and customs of the world. Or indulge the customs of the world, they will lead you to indulgence and the flesh. One enemy will hand you over to another, not lagging behind, and the two of them will then drag you down each time. Knowing this misfortune, stand firm in what you have begun. Love of life will stand for the flesh, and people-pleasing will stand for the world. Contrast them with the feeling of the true life in the embitterment of the flesh and communication with true people in the rejection of the customs of the world. Your flesh will begin to ache and your soul will begin to yearn; arm yourself with patience. Inspire yourself with the thought that everything is the same - death is ahead. From indulgence of the flesh and the world, death through falling into sin is true and eternal death. The flesh and the world also frighten with death those who go against their demands, but this death is illusory, not real, but invented by the enemy to frighten us. Let us better condemn ourselves to this death for salvation, in order to avoid a destructive death. It is difficult, of course, this is why this path is called “straight” and regrettable, only a consoling promise is attached to it by the unfaithful God that it “leads into the Belly” (Matthew 7:14). But only the insane, as Saint Isaac says, prefer a small, close peace to a distant Kingdom, not knowing that it is better to suffer torment in asceticism than to rest on the bed of the earthly kingdom and be condemned for laziness. Death is desired by the wise, so as not to fall under the accusation that they performed any of their deeds without sobriety. Don’t be discouraged when it comes to what life brings you, and don’t be lazy to die for it. With such thoughts and such fatherly instructions, strengthen your determination to stand in the new good order of life, in contrast to the customs of the world, and “not to please the flesh through lust” (Rom. 13:14). By this you will avoid a painful task - servility to sin - and you will soon enter “into the freedom... of the children of God” (Rom. 8:21), when, strengthened by the power of God, without hindrance, without effort, without special sacrifices, you begin to walk in the commandments and commandments of God, as sons walk in their father’s house. Amen. You might be interested in: