Послание 2. К нему же [Платону, отцу духовному]

This is the second time I am writing to my lord and father. I don't know if you received my letter. And in it we, although unworthily, said a little of what the time required and what was within our power; and now let’s say what follows and what God will give for the benefit of my humble soul, and also, I dare say, for the consolation of your generosity, father. As often before, so now, I say and confess that if I have any gift of speech and the ability to write something small, then this was given not for the sake of me, your humble servant, but for the sake of you, who has abundant grace flowing in your heart. Therefore, you willingly and joyfully continue to teach and admonish not only us, whom others mistakenly consider to be your nephews, but also all your sons and children born of your spirit. And the fact that I am telling the truth has been proven by deeds. You are the true shepherd, who laid down “your life for your sheep” (John 10:11–12), so that we would not deviate from the truth and would now be ready to willingly shed our own blood. Such is the vigilance of a true shepherd, denouncing liars and truly being worthy before God, the Father and the Archpastor! So, I bring you very meagerly what was given to me for your sake, and you reap these - I don’t know how to say it - meager fruits of the seeds that you sowed with much care and abundance, like a good farmer. What can I say that is decent and beneficial to your holy soul, my dear father? Who separated me from your always desired face, from sweet-tongued conversation, from saving guidance? You are my light, an always shining lamp among the dark thoughts of my soul, a rod that strengthens the weakness of my heart, a change in despondency, cheerfulness, good news, joy, anointing, celebration, glory. Without you, the sun is not joyful for me; I would rather not see the light than not see your image. There is nothing pleasant for me on earth without your presence; for what is more desirable than a true father, even in the eyes of God? A son who loves his father and is truly his own knows this. But why so many words? I'll tell you what happened to me. Often, when I had no intention of going to your holy cell, imperceptibly, as if drawn by someone, I came to you, stood in front of your face, so that often, when you asked: “Why did you come?” – I couldn’t answer anything. My salvation depended so much on you! Who doesn't strive for the light? But I thank God, for whose sake I was torn from you by the hands of those who trampled His law and those born of those like them. May the Lord my God not count this against them as a sin, but may he bring them to the realization of their folly, and may they be unrequited in this. They imprisoned you, as we heard, in a cramped hut, but in this way they showed you as an inhabitant of heaven. For they have imprisoned the treasure of the confession of God, and have not understood it. If they had seen, they could have known from this that they have made you venerable among people, a savior for the world and desired by many. You accepted dishonor and insults together with Christ, you were persecuted like a blessed one. They have scattered your sheep, for they have struck you, the shepherd, like Christ. Although it is bold to say, these are His words: “If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you also” (John 15:20) - and others who followed Him endure the same suffering as Him. “If only we suffer with Him,” says the great Paul, “then we will also be glorified with Him” (Rom. 8:17). And so it is. But to me, indecent and unworthy, through your holy prayers, the righteous father, the Merciful Lord, gave me the consolation of being with you in spirit, for I constantly seem to see you, talk with you, accept the blessing, use your patronage, give and receive information about the confirmation of the confession that you confessed. It seems to me that I hear the words spoken in your clear voice: “Humble Theodore, we truly endure little, while God gives us wonderful hope.” This is a consolation and joy for me. Do not be afraid, father, for me, your completely rejected servant. Truly, I am the scum of heaven and earth and have grown colder than any other person. However, I dare to speak as one who has good hope, although unworthily, looking upward, strengthened by your intercession, not arrogant about what I suffered, but reproaching myself for what I did not endure courageously and not properly, but little and insignificantly in comparison with the life-giving sufferings of the saints. For I read about many martyrdoms described in twelve books, so that my heart shuddered, and I do not dare say that I suffered anything for the sake of Christ. And what is more desirable, father, - I remind you, like a slave, - suffering for His sake? Look up, father; look at the Lord, imagine the faces of the Angels, imagine the hosts of saints, contemplate the Judge of the world sitting on a highly exalted throne, Who will proclaim you a faithful servant, the keeper of His commandments and, what is even more, a confessor. Where will He send you next? Not into eternal fire, which accepts those who do not obey His law, but into a life-giving abode, into immortal peace, into boundless joy. “Enter,” he will say, “into the joy of your Lord” (Matthew 25:23). The eyes of all of us are turned to you, we are all strong in spirit when you stand firm. May God’s help be with you even more, protecting you, strengthening you, establishing you, encouraging you! Fearing God, do not be afraid of “what” “man” has done to you, or perhaps will do (Ps. 118:6). You trust “in the Lord”, you are “Mount Zion”, you will not be moved “forever” (Ps. 124:1), for the Founder and Creator of the highest Jerusalem dwells in you. Flee from poisonous and deceitful speeches that tempt you like snakes and want to remove you from the life-giving tree of truth, and, once established in the truth, established to perfect steadfastness on the many testimonies of the Holy Scriptures, and partly on godly people, be careful that you receive the praise contained in the following saying: “Whoever does this will never be shaken” ( Ps.14:5). The brothers are all healthy: Mr. Deacon, my father, my dear brother, and now even more worthy of love, and my other beloved and venerable brothers and your children. Pray for all of them with me, Father. They all perform a good course; They only want one thing - your health in the Lord, and everything that they endure is easily endured. Of course, we grieve, and lament, and are bored, and despondent, and have many evil thoughts, for it is impossible to go through real life without sorrow, but we are strengthened by hope and your prayers. Pray for me, father, for I am studying Saint Isaiah, and tell me if you want me, in addition to writing, to also read letters. You might be interested in: