Поучение 75. О том, что нам должно пребывать в алчбе и жажде, и всякую другую скорбь переносить до смерти, как мы обещались при пострижении.

Brothers and Fathers! Due to my illness, which occurred because of my sins, my usual teachings and instructions were stopped. And since now my most damned body has recovered, although it has not completely freed itself from the fever, I considered it necessary to begin my ministry again, that is, to remind you, my most desired ones, whom I gave birth to by the Holy Spirit, and teach you useful and saving things, and daily excite and renew the attentive thought of your souls, although I have not yet acquired such a gift. So, “do not,” as the Lord says, “do that which perishes in wickedness, but in wickedness abides in eternal life” (John 6:27), that is, His commandments and justifications, learning from His law day and night, so that you may be “like a tree planted by the waters that come out,” as David says, “which yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not fall away...” future century, - not like wickedness, not like this: but like dust, the wind sweeps it away from the face of the earth" (Ps. 1: 3-4). The wicked are not only those of other faiths; but also transgressors of God’s commandments. And, applying the word to our common life, who are these if not the disobedient, the proud, the controversial, the vain, the impudent, also the secret eaters, the murmurers, those who love to adorn themselves, the curious, the idle, those who love to eat and drink, the whisperers, the self-willed, the slanderers, and finally the ungrateful and those who seek what they should not? For they are not satisfied with the gifts sent down by God, they seek excuses for their sins, they invent means to satisfy their passions; to put it briefly: they have abandoned care for the soul, they love bodily passions, they are enslaved to the devil, they quarrel with food and quarrel over drinks that they are unworthy of, they blame wine and foodstuffs, justifying themselves with the demands of nature, habit and weakness. Oh, that their loins and belly would ache, and they would suffer water, and die, that they might be delivered from the greatest disease, ingratitude. Some always strive for special foods, drinks and snacks, as if they had forgotten, damned, what they promised to God on the first day when they came here, and testified before many witnesses, invisible and visible. Didn’t they promise to remain in hunger and thirst, to endure sorrow and distress, weakness and persecution, torment and death? And now they are quarreling over wine and food. But just as they quarreled, so they themselves will be quarreled, since they did not think that Christ sees and hears their words and promises, then I am afraid that He will not betray them “to an unskilled mind, to do inappropriate and destructive things” (Rom. 1:28). So, be converted as such, or better yet, shake off from your souls sleep and drowsiness, forgetfulness of God, addiction to earthly things and coldness. Warm yourself with the love and fear of God; accept punishment: accept the weapons of truth; fear and be afraid for the very thing that is offered at the meal. I don’t say when there is something boiled, fish and cheese, but also when there is only bread and vegetables without butter, or beans, and other similar things, and wine in one cup or two; and this is a great consolation, and who among the humble will not be afraid, thinking about how he might not lose eternal blessings for such peace? I am talking about myself, I consider myself worthy of torment for my food and drink, and especially for those that were served to me during my illness. Believe me, although I say this in madness, that if the sharp sting of disobedience to the brotherhood, and your verbal care and nurturing with spiritual reasoning had not stung me; then I would never change my food and my custom until my soul descended into hell; however, I consumed food and drink, and various ones at that. But I will tell you, even in madness, I ate with pain, sighing and sorrow, on the one hand because of my unworthiness, and on the other for the sake of caring for your infirmities and for the sake of poverty in the monastery. However, by the grace of Christ, we and you have what we need; Give, ungrateful ones, glory to God; for we drink wine, and eat oil and fish, and in the hospital we rest and are healed, and this, as they say, not in one or two days, but every day. O ungrateful ones! How can we not be grateful for all this? How not to praise and glorify, how not to give glory to God? But we don’t even think about the fact that we brought nothing to the monastery, and there is no benefit from our service. For we are like boiled beets, or unpeeled red onions, or empty baskets that are only carried around or stand in plain sight; and we are not even fit to guard at the gate, or to serve at meals, or to do anything else, neither for children nor for old people. Truly, we are the most senseless and unreasonable, we don’t even think about the fact that maybe we are the most insignificant, and that among us there are fathers and brothers incomparably more honorable than us, some outside, and others inside the monastery, in the cold and cold, in the heat and heat, we obey like slaves - digging, plowing, pruning grapes, cultivating gardens, chopping wood, amusing, grinding, they cook food, whiten, wash, sew, carry dung 90, go on errands, serve, are sent on foot to cities, to farms, or to the mountains to buy and sell things, and they do this while enduring insult and oppression. But truly such is the kingdom of heaven. Take care, O blind man, cruel, crafty, desperate, lest you hear on that day: “Binding his hand and nose... cast him into utter darkness” (Matthew 22:13). Woe, woe to you, that you despise God as not immediately rewarding. Truly it is said about you: “a fool says in his heart: there is no God” (Ps. 53:2). Why? Because you have become corrupt and vile in your undertakings, and do not do a single good thing. But “The Lord comes from heaven every day and sees whether you understand or seek Him” (Ps. 13: 1, 2). And he writes such, and blots out the rest. I am afraid that Saint David would not appear and sing about you, and that what is sung would not come true for you: “I divided them in their belly” (Ps. 16:14). Whom? Such are the evil from the good. “Understand this, you who forget God, lest he snatch away, and never deliver” (Ps. 49:22). And forgive me for being crazy, my beloved children; I have mercy on you, and therefore I said this out of love, judging that it is better for you if I offend you with my words, rather than subject you to eternal suffering in endless torment, from which may we all be delivered by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. To him belongs glory and power forever and ever. Amen. In Greek κοπολογοῦσιν, instead of, κοπρολογοῦσιν. You might be interested in: