Instruction on the Christian duty of parents to children and children to parents

Chapter 1. On the duties of parents to their children. Responsibilities include: I. God Himself commands parents to make every effort to raise their children well. Read Deuteronomy: “And these words that I command you today shall be in your heart and in your soul, and you shall instruct your sons in them, and you shall tell them to your sons, and you shall speak of them when you sit in the house... and when you walk, and when you lie down, and when you get up” (Deut. 6:6-7). seventh. II. Small children must first of all be instilled with the seed of right faith and Christian piety, so that they are not infected with any nasty and soul-harming teaching. Therefore, it is bad for parents who, having not taught their little children well Christian piety and right faith, send them to be taught foreign languages ​​by teachers who are filled with heretical teachings. Because they, teaching small children their language, can conveniently teach them both their law and the heresy with which they themselves are infected, and infect them, for a young and uneducated person is capable of accepting any teaching, right or wrong. III. Instruction in piety and the fear of the Lord should be from infancy, as soon as children begin to understand at least a little. 1) Because, as stated above, this age, as a gentle age, is convenient for the perception of good or evil. I explain it as follows. An empty vessel can hold everything: water, or wine, or beer, or kvass, or something similar. So a young man can absorb good or evil teaching. 2) What children learn from childhood, when they reach adulthood, they will do in old age. I explain this in the following way: a new vessel, especially an earthen one, is what it is first filled with, so it will smell until it is destroyed. So, for example, if you drink oil, you will smell like oil; if you drink wine, you will stink of wine. Likewise, a young man, no matter what teaching he drinks, will emit that smell all his life. If he is instructed in the fear of the Lord, then all his life he will emit a favorable aroma of good morals; if he is taught evil, then he will reek of evil even to the end. Another example. Just as a small tree, whichever side it leans towards, will continue to grow until the end, so a young boy, who is first taught what he will do, will have an inclination towards this until the end of his life. This is why parents act badly: 1) who send their children to be taught dancing and other games, since these dances and other games are indecent for Christianity, because children can be corrupted by these dances, especially when boys with a female gender dance; 2) who leave their children in childhood without teaching and without punishment, because a person inclined to evil from his youth, as Scripture says (Gen. 6:5-6), can conveniently become corrupted without proper instruction and punishment, and the parents will be strictly questioned by God for this, as careless and murderers. IV. This instruction in this order could be: 1) teach them that God exists and He is One; 2) the fact that Christ came into the world and why he came; 3) always teach to keep God’s commandments and speak precisely so that they do not do to others what they do not want for themselves, for this is the power of the law; 4) go to the Church of God for prayer more often, and especially on holidays to the Holy Liturgy; 5) in the evening, going to bed, and in the morning, getting up from sleep, pray to God and thank Him for all His benefits; 6) remind you of what was promised to the Lord God at Baptism, which is briefly explained on a sheet published in three paragraphs; 7) remind often that this life is short, and everyone will have to die, and when is unknown; 8) after death, everyone will experience the Last Judgment of Christ, at which word, deed, and evil thought will be judged; 9) after that Judgment for the good - eternal joy in heaven with Christ and with all the saints, for the evil - eternal torment in hell with the devil and his evil angels. V. Children are strictly forbidden to hang out, communicate and make friends with evil ones, since “evil will change” even a good “mind” (Wis. 4:11). “Whoever touches the resin will be blackened; and he who associates with the proud will be like him,” says Sirach (Sir 13:1). And again: “With the obstinate you will be corrupted,” says the Psalmist (Ps 17:27). And the parents themselves should be extremely careful not to give temptation to their children, because children follow the lives of their parents as a model or rule, and what they see in their parents, they themselves try to do. “Woe to that man through whom temptation comes,” says Christ the Lord (Matthew 18:7). Parents who not only do not teach, but also seduce their children are the most accursed murderers, since murderers have a corruptible body, but they kill an immortal soul when they seduce their children and show them the path to sin. VI. In order not to give temptation, but rather to set a good example for children, parents must act extremely carefully, both in word and in deed. In the word: do not say anything idle, rotten, or nasty in front of them, although you should always avoid this, for “for every idle word that people speak, they will give an answer on the day of Judgment” according to the word of Christ (Matthew 12:36). In fact: do not do not only anything bad in front of them, but also do not do anything that could, over time, serve as the cause of evil lust and sin, even if it was sinless for the parents themselves, for example, punishing slaves, and so on. VII. For encouragement and example, remember the former fathers who raised their children in the fear of the Lord, like Abraham, our forefather, about whom God Himself says: “I chose him, so that he would command his sons and his household after him to preserve the ways of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice,” and so on (Gen. 18:19). VIII. If children are disobedient, punish them with both appropriate words and impose punishment on them. Thus the Scripture teaches: “He who instructs his son will delight in him; do not play with it, lest it cause you sorrow; do not laugh with him, lest you grieve for him, and lest you subsequently clench your teeth. Don't give him power in his youth; crush its ribs while it is young, so that, having become stubborn, it does not fall out of obedience to you” (Sir 30:2, 9-12). And also see Proverbs of Solomon, chapter thirteen, nineteen, twenty-one, twenty-third, twenty-nine. IX. Parents, in order for them to take more careful care of the correct upbringing of their children, must remember the Last Judgment of God, remember that not only for themselves, but also for them, they will give an answer and will be greatly questioned if they do not raise them in the fear of the Lord. X. Good fruits follow from a good upbringing: 1) the fruit of a pious life in grown children; 2) for parents, joy and comfort in the good behavior of their children; 3) the undoubted hope of eternal life; 4) good hope is also foreseen in grandchildren, for children, just as they themselves are taught good things, will not fail to teach their children the same; 5) honor and praise to the family; XI. From bad upbringing, the opposite follows: 1) evil and depraved life; 2) parents grief and sadness about the evil state of their children; 3) futile and vain efforts to correct one’s corrupted children, since it is very difficult to root out rooted evil. If “the Ethiopian changes his skin and the lynx his motley, and you can do good by learning evil,” says the Lord through the prophet Jeremiah (Jer 13:23). 4) Weak hope for their salvation, but rather obvious death; 5) the same evil behavior can be expected in grandchildren, because an evil father cannot teach his son goodness; 6) parents will face melancholy, boredom, fear, because they may be questioned by God for the bad upbringing of their children, who were not punished, and perhaps were tempted by an evil example; 7) dishonor and reproach to the entire family; 8) There is obvious and great harm to the Fatherland. Poor upbringing results in theft, murder, theft, robberies, fornication, adultery, violence, resentment, quarrels, fights, deception, betrayal, perjury, riots and other countless evils. Chapter 2. On the duties of children to their parents The responsibility of children to parents is as follows: I. Children should show their parents every respect. So the Lord God Himself commands in the fifth commandment, saying: “Honor your father and your mother, so that it may go well with you and your days may be long on earth” (Exodus 20:12). This respect is especially in the following matters: a) love them truly and sincerely; b) speak about them with all respect; e) on occasion, give them a worthy place; f) when speaking, do not interrupt their words and do not recklessly mix anything into them; g) do not start any business without their will; h) do nothing in front of them that could damage their honor or bring them to shame. King Solomon of Israel showed such respect for his mother Bathsheba, as we read in the book of 1 Kings: “And Bathsheba went in to King Solomon to tell him about Adonijah, and the king stood up to meet her, and bowed to her, and sat down on his throne; And they set up another throne for the king’s mother, and she sat at his right hand” (1 Kings 2:19). II. Everyone must obey them. This is what the holy Apostle commands: “Children, be obedient to your parents in everything” (Col 3:20). This obedience, of course, should be when parents command their children to do something consistent with the word of God or not contrary to it. That is why the holy Apostle commands children to listen to their parents “in the Lord,” that is, to listen to what is commanded in the Lord: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord” (Eph 6:1). If they command anything contrary to the word of God, they should not listen to it at all, since God’s command should be incomparably more honorable than that of parents. Christ, the Son of God, taught about this in the Holy Gospel: “Whoever loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me” (Matthew 10:37). III. Children should show every gratitude to their parents, because from them they received life, instruction and everything they have. This gratitude is as follows: 1) help them in all their needs; 2) when they do not have food, feed and clothe them; 3) in old age or in illness, or in any other case of infirmity, to cover or excuse them, as Shem and Japheth, the sons of Noah, did (Gen. 9:23), who appropriately covered the nakedness of their father. This is what the Tributary orders: “Listen, son, to the father who gave birth to you, and do not despise your mother when she is old” (Proverbs 23:22). Ham, the son of the same Noah, showing the nakedness of his father, was punished. IV. For disrespect of parents, God determined great punishments for children: 1) curse: “Cursed is he who dishonors his father or his mother” (Deut. 27:16); 2) death: “if a man speaks evil to his father or his mother, let him die” (Ex. 21:17). If children are ungrateful to their parents, from whom they received so many blessings, then this follows from nothing other than poor upbringing, and the parents themselves are to blame for this, because they raised them poorly. So children repay their parents for their negligence and negligence in upbringing with equal disobedience, contempt, slander, and sometimes even beating. Not only in this century do careless fathers endure this, but in the future they will be punished even more severely before the Last Judgment of God. Therefore, take heed to this, parents: keep your children from temptations as the apple of your eyes, or even as your souls. Know that you will give an answer to God for them. He will punish you severely for them. If you don’t teach them French, German, Italian or secular rules, God won’t ask you for it, but if you don’t teach them good morals, you won’t escape God’s judgment and torture. Remember this, I’m simply telling you the truth: if your children are evil, then your grandchildren will be even more evil, and your great-grandchildren will be even more evil. For an evil father will not teach his son good, and so evil will grow until it is eradicated by the judgment of God. And the root and beginning of all this evil is our evil upbringing. Here, for the sake of small children, are attached 1. “I am the Lord your God... you shall have no other gods besides Me” (Exodus 20:2–3). Interpretation: The first commandment teaches us to recognize with our hearts and confess with our lips that there is only one God, and to contain the same concept of Divine properties as God’s word instructs us to do. 2. “You shall not make for yourself an idol, nor any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, nor of anything that is in the earth below, nor of anything that is in the water under the earth, lest you worship them, nor serve them” (Exodus 20:4–5). Interpretation: The second commandment prohibits idolatry and any improper way of worshiping God. 3. “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain” (Exodus 20:7). Interpretation: The third commandment forbids using the name of God in a way that diminishes His terrible glory, and through this it prescribes every true way of worshiping God. 4. “Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy: six days you shall work and do all your work, and the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God” (Exodus 20:8–10). Interpretation. The fourth commandment commands that on Sunday and at other known times we gather together for worship to render the honor that creation is obliged to render to the Creator, and for our instruction. 5. “Honor your father and your mother, so that it may go well with you and your days on earth may be long” (Exodus 20:12). Interpretation. The fifth commandment requires that we give our parents, and under their name, first of all, the great Sovereign, the spiritual and civil government, teachers and benefactors, masters and elders, worthy respect and obedience, and sincere love to every person. 6. “Thou shalt not kill” (Exodus 20:13). Interpretation. The sixth commandment requires that we not do any harm to our neighbors, either ourselves or through others, either in deed or in thought, but even protect them from any harm. 7. “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). Interpretation. In the seventh commandment, under the general name of adultery, all sinful carnal impurity is prohibited, and through this it is prescribed that we should spend our lives either in an honest marriage or in holy virginity. 8. "Thou shalt not steal" (Exodus 20:15) Interpretation. In the eighth commandment, God forbids all theft and untruth, and thereby commands that, for the sake of the general welfare, we observe the benefit of our neighbor as our own. 9. “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor” (Exodus 20:16) Interpretation. The ninth commandment requires not to lie in anything and not to touch your neighbor with offense with your tongue. 10. “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, you shall not covet your neighbor’s house, nor his village, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor all his livestock, nor anything that your neighbor has” (Exodus 20:17) Interpretation. The tenth commandment is a perfect explanation of the previous commandments, and it requires not only not to do evil, but also not to desire it in your heart. All of these above commandments are affirmed on two foundations: love for God and love for neighbor. The first four teach about the love of God. The other six are about love for your neighbor, that is, for every person. Love for God was concluded in these words by Christ, the Son of God: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind” (Matthew 22:37); love for your neighbor is in the following words: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). And he added: “On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets” (Matthew 22:40). “Have spiritual purity, bodily dispassion, a meek tread, a moderate voice, decent speech, decent food and drink, silence with elders, attention with the wisest, obedience to superiors, unfeigned love towards equals and lesser; Keep away from the evil, and passionate, and those who love the flesh, speak little, think a lot, do not be reckless in words, do not be excessive in conversation; not to be insolent with laughter, to be adorned with modesty, not to talk with dishonest wives, to direct one’s eyes down to the earth and one’s soul to heaven, to avoid contradictions, not to seek the teaching rank, to impute the honor of this world to nothing. If anyone does good for the benefit of others, let him expect reward and eternal recompense from Christ Jesus our Lord” 2 . The described duty of parents in relation to children also applies to those who bear the paternal name, for example, Monarchs, spiritual shepherds, bishops, abbots of monasteries, priests, teachers, rulers, gentlemen and others who are entrusted by God with the management of others and some kind of oversight. “Instruction on the Christian position of parents to children and children to parents” was published according to the first edition in “Other Works.” The interpretations of the commandments are taken, in abbreviation, literally from the book of the Moscow Metropolitan Plato, published for the first time in 1765, under the title: “Orthodox teaching, or Abridged Christian Theology for the use of His Imperial Highness the Grand Duke Pavel Petrovich, composed by his teacher, Hieromonk Plato.” In one of his letters, the saint himself points to this “little book of Plato, the teacher of the Grand Duke, in which the commandments are fairly explained,” advising one to be guided by it when interpreting the commandments. 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