Отделение второе

There is only one hope for fallen sinners - the crucified Lord Mourn my nakedness, my beloved brothers! I angered Christ with my vicious life. How good He created me and gave me freedom, and I, having abused it, repaid Him with evil - with my wicked deeds. The Lord of all created me perfect and made me an instrument of His glory, so that I would serve Him and sanctify His name, and I, unfortunate one, made my members instruments of sin and with them committed all unrighteousness. Woe is me, for He will righteously condemn me. My shameful deeds will precede me at the Judgment and will accuse my poor soul. I relentlessly beg You, my Savior, cover me with Your wings and do not reveal my defilements at Your Great Judgment, so that I may glorify Your goodness. The evil deeds that I have done before the Lord of all separate me from the community of saints. And since I did not serve God with my life, like they did, I have no part in their good deeds. Alas, I am lost! Now grief befalls me, which is what I deserve. And if he had labored with them, then, like them, he would have been glorified. But since I was careless and served lusts, I do not belong to the host of victors, but became the heir of Gehenna. You, the Conqueror pierced by nails on the Cross, calling to sinners: “Come, receive remission for free!” “I persistently pray to You, my Savior, turn Your eyes away from my wickedness; With Thy sufferings heal my ulcers, so that I may glorify Thy goodness. O All-Good One, Whose goodness is immeasurably higher than the untruths of the world, strengthen my poor soul with trust in Your goodness, which is weakened and completely exhausted by the grave ailments of untruth and sin and holds on only by trusting in You, hoping to find consolation in You! Lack of attention to beneficial influences is lamented Like a tax collector, I sigh, like a harlot, I shed tears, like a thief, I cry out like a prodigal son, I cry out to You, O most philanthropic Christ, my Savior! Strengthen my exhausted soul, weakened by the intoxication of voluptuousness, heal its scabs and wash it with Your Honest Blood, blackened by sins! According to the multitude of Your mercy, convert me, O One Long-suffering One, and deliver me from every indulgence of voluptuousness. Quench the furnace of my passions within me, so that it does not completely burn me. Alas for me! You, Lord, gave me the light of knowledge, but I darkened it. Alas for me! You have continually visited and continue to visit me with Your grace, but I have hourly rejected and continue to reject this gift of my healing. How many gifts You, Master, have endowed and are endowing on me, a sinner, and I, the accursed one, have always been and consciously remain ungrateful to You! Your grace now consoles, now enlightens, now strengthens me, but I, through inattention, indulging in something vain, always again plunge into the bile and bitterness of my passions. You, Most Blessed One, remind me of death and eternal torment and draw me towards life in order to save myself, but I always evade these saving thoughts and drive them away by busying myself with things that are not useful for me. Therefore, I have no justification before You. I strike at the door of Your mercy, O Lord, that it may be opened to me. I never stop begging to get what I ask for, and I relentlessly seek pardon. Be patient with me, the corrupted one, deliver me from the sins that possess me, so that, having become healthy, I will rise from the bed of pernicious sin. Free me from my vicious habits before the end befalls me, for in hell who will confess to You? Whiten my defiled tunic before the terrible command came and caught me unprepared and ashamed. Deliver my contrite soul from the mouth of the lions and save it through Your grace and generosity through the prayers of our All-Pure Lady Theotokos and all the saints. I can’t cope with myself, grant me the spirit of repentance! Before Your glory, O Christ my Savior, I will utter all my indecency and confess all the immeasurability of Your bounties, which You pour out on me in Your goodness. From my mother’s womb I began to grieve You and count Your grace for nothing, neglecting my soul. But You, my Lord, through the multitude of Your mercies, mercifully and patiently looked upon all my wickedness. My head was lifted up by Your grace, but it was daily humiliated by my sins. Evil habits entangle me like nets, and I rejoice that I am bound. I plunge into the very depths of evil, and it makes me happy. The enemy daily renews my bonds, because he sees how much I rejoice in the variety of these bonds. This is worthy of weeping and crying, this is shame and shame, that I am bound by my desires. And what’s even more terrible is that I bind myself with the bonds that the enemy imposes on me, and I kill myself with the passions that please him. Knowing, however, how terrible these bonds are, I carefully hide them from all spectators under a plausible appearance. In appearance I am clothed in a beautiful robe of reverence, but my soul is entangled in shameful thoughts. I am in awe of the audience, but inside I am filled with all sorts of lewdness. My conscience accuses me of this, and I seem to want to free myself from my bonds and every day I complain and sigh about this, but I still find myself bound by the same nets. I am pitiful, and my daily repentance is pitiful, because it does not have a solid foundation. Every day I lay the foundation of a building, and again with my own hands I destroy it. My repentance has not yet made a good start, but my evil negligence has no end in sight. I am enslaved to the passions and evil will of the enemy who is destroying me. Who will give my head water and sources of tears for my hair, so that I may always cry before You, merciful God, so that, having sent Your grace, You will take me, a sinner, out of the sea, raging with waves of sins and hourly overwhelming my soul? For my desires are worse than wounds that do not tolerate medical bandages. I wait in the hope of repentance and deceive myself with this vain promise until I die. I always say: I will repent - and I never repent. In words I seem to repent earnestly, but in deeds I am very far from repentance. What will happen to me on the day of testing, when God will reveal everything before His Judgment Seat! Of course, I will be condemned to torment if I do not appease You, my Judge, with tears here. Trusting in Your bounty, Lord, I fall before You and beg You: grant me the spirit of repentance and deliver my soul from the prison of iniquity! May a ray of light shine in my mind before I go to the terrible Judgment awaiting me, at which there will no longer be room for repentance in bad deeds. I can’t cope with myself and the enemy, Lord, help me! No one can heal my illness except the One who knows the depths of the heart. How many times have I set limits for myself and built walls between myself and sin! But my thought transgressed the limits, and my own will undermined the walls, because the limits were not protected by the fear of God and the walls were not based on sincere repentance. And again I hit the door so that it opens for me, I do not cease to ask in order to receive what I ask, and I know no shame, seeking mercy from You, Lord. Lord my Savior! Why did you leave me? Have mercy on me, You, the only Humane One! Save me, a sinner, You are the only Sinless One! Pluck me from the mire of my iniquities, so as not to wallow in them forever, deliver me from the jaws of the enemy, who, roaring like a lion, wants to devour me. Raise up Your power and come to save me! Flash Your lightning and kindle his strength, so that, struck with fear, he will flee from Your face, for he does not have the strength to stand before You and in the face of those who love You. As soon as he sees the sign of Your grace, he comes into fear from You and moves away from them in shame. And now, Master, save me, for I have come running to You! The last hour is near. Grant, Lord, to repent in order to safely make the terrible transition after death! How long will it take you to repent, my poor soul? The judgment is already near, the fire is ready for your members. I have been mired in a sea of ​​evils all the days of my life, not mourning my sins, and suddenly death will impose its shackles on me. Satan deceived me and, binding me with his lusts, carried me captive and threw me to the ground without pity. Alas, what should I do now? You, Righteous Judge, disgrace the evil one, who fights against me and, when I want to repent, secretly sets me his cunning nets! Be my Helper, O most merciful Lord, and I will rise up, laugh at him, and break all his snares. Woe to me on that day when You, Lord, judge sinners! Oh, may I not be ashamed then before the host of Angels! Tremble and be troubled, my soul, and, begging your Lord, say to Him: “Have mercy on me, my Savior, and rescue me, mired in vices. I am a sinner and am ashamed to beg You. By Your grace, save me, O Lord, from Gehenna!” Behold, the day of the Lord will suddenly shine for creation and the righteous will come out to meet the Lord with burning lamps, but I am darkness, there is no oil in my lamp to meet the Bridegroom when He comes. My spirit trembles, hearing that the day of Judgment is near, my thoughts are confused at the idea that fire awaits the wicked. According to Your goodness, which has mercy on sinners, have mercy on me, the lost one, and I will praise You when Your Kingdom appears. May your cross accompany me during this terrible transition, may it drive away the dark forces from me, may it serve as a key for me and open the doors of heaven to enter into joy, rejoice and glorify me of your bounties, O Most Merciful One! Enlighten and strengthen for the sake of redemption! May Thy help come to our aid, O All-Good One, who never leaves our race! Give us Your all-searching wisdom, so that we may know the transience of everything! Heal our ulcers with repentance! Visit us so that we will not remain stagnant in our sins any longer. You, who are most merciful to our souls, place in us the remembrance of good, because we have much loved evil. Turn away from us, O Good One, everything harmful. Accept good will, as much as there is in us, and send us proportionate strength. Our soul is not able to bring you a gift as great as You are. May Your wonderful death, O Lord, reconcile You. Our lies are much stronger than our prayers. Our prayer is insignificant, but our guilt is great. What sacrifice could we make to reconcile ourselves with You? We have nothing to give You. Therefore, through Your Blood, reconcile us, O All-Merciful One. Thanks be to the Father, who sent You, our Savior! For by You we, the guilty, are justified. You took away our sins by Your Cross, take away our guilt from us at Your Coming! Redeemer of all, save me too and grant my tears to wash away the wall that separates me from You! Praise be to the Good One, Who condescended for us, became like us and healed our wounds with His all-sanctifying Flesh and His all-sanctifying Blood! Let everything sing Your praises! Thanks be to the Merciful One, Who constantly bears our burden, although our malice is known to Him, Who created, feeds us and causes His sun to shine for us! Praise be to His goodness! Open to me the door of mercy, our Lord, filled with bounty, stretch out your hand to me, O good and merciful one, and return me to your sheepfold, so that I may glorify your goodness. My sins are a wall between me and Your goodness. Destroy her so that I can approach Your mercy, pour out Your love on me and delight me to Your height! But the wall of my sins is being destroyed by tears and contrition, therefore grant me all the days of my life to diligently mourn my sins and gather fruits for myself that will be useful to me on the day of Judgment. You might be interested in: