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What is the hope of justification at the Judgment? Fire threatens, O Lord, my members, but within me, my Savior, Thy reconciling Blood is hidden, Gehenna awaits me for torment, but Thy Life-Giving Body is closely united with me. I am clothed in the robe of the Holy Spirit - and I will not be scorched. When the river of fire roars, threatening with vengeance, then the fire in me will go out, as soon as the stench of Your Flesh and Blood comes to it. You, our Lord, are the hope of the repentant, You are the friend of all sinners. I beg You, Lord, by Your holy name: do not punish me with Your righteous judgment! With the love of Your Parent, with the Mother’s womb that bore You, with the spear that opened Your ribs on Golgotha, I beg You: pour out for me the dew of Your mercy, so that I will not languish there with thirst for water! Thy cross, Lord, in which I seek refuge, may it be for me a bridge across the great fiery river. Let them pass into the abode of life! Jonah cried out to You in the depths of the sea and Daniel in the lion's den; the three Jewish youths called to You in the cave kindled by the Chaldeans. You brought Jonah out of the abyss, saved Daniel, and Your mercy watered and extinguished the flame in the furnace. Have mercy on me, O Lord, and save me because I confessed You, and by Your grace forgive me my debts! Have mercy on me, our merciful Lord, and according to the multitude of Your compassions blot out my sins. Wash me from the iniquity of my hands, that I may be cleansed and washed from my filth. I know that I have sinned, my sins are always before me, and I see them. Before You, only I am guilty and have sinned; be merciful to me, Lord Jesus our God! Simon denied You three times, Lord, but he brought You tears, and You accepted him. So I bring a pure confession. My sins are many, they are countless. According to Your compassions, our Lord, forgive me my iniquities, by Your grace blot out the handwriting of my defilements and do not remember my sins. Praise be to the Lord God, Who does not want the sinner to die! Praise be to You, Merciful of sinners! Praise be to You, Receiver of the repentant! Praise be to You, Jesus, who opens Your door to everyone who strikes it and asks for remission of sins! Praise be to You, Lord, and to us Your bounties! Be merciful to us, our Lord Jesus! The enemy enticed me, and I sinned a lot. I confess my sins, have mercy! By Your grace, calling us, O God, to draw closer to You and not to perish, O Good One, who gave the promise and said: “Call Me, and I will hear you,” I strike at the door of Your goodness, my Deliverer! Hear me according to Your compassions and do not look at my iniquities! Have mercy on me, Lord, have mercy on me according to Your goodness, because I am much guilty before Your righteousness! You created me, Lord, you named me in Your image according to Your goodness, you created me in Your likeness, You taught me to know the way to the abode of life and showed me the way to Gehenna. The evil one, out of envy, set secret ambushes for me, lured me away from Your path - and I became mired in abominations. Alas for me, our Lord, I am guilty of much! Have mercy on me, Lord, and save me according to Your grace! The robber, the stealer of souls, maliciously took away my freedom from me, seduced me and abused me. With the gaze of his eyes he seduced and captivated me and put sinful thoughts into me. I looked and wished, I looked with curiosity and sinned. since my hands were stretched out for a lawless deed, I was completely destroyed. Alas, now I am threatened by fire! Save me, O Merciful One, so that I may not die! I am more unhappy than all those born of wives, because through my deeds I have made myself unhappy and plunged myself into destruction. Every day I sinned and consoled myself with this, not thinking that death awaited me. Alas, the Angel of Death is already close, sent with the command to singe me to Judgment! Alas, everything hidden will be revealed there, and I will be covered in shame! My deeds are marked by justice, not even a single word is forgotten. In this great book the Judge has my deeds and iniquities written down. Woe to me when justice reads there all the sins that I have committed from my youth to my old age! What should I do at that hour and where should I run from You, Lord? Woe is me, Lord! How much I am guilty of! Alas for me, I sinned and did not repent! God, who had mercy on the sinner, have mercy on me, the poor one, our Lord, so that I may not perish! Instead of the peace that the sinner brought to You, I have Your Flesh and Blood, united with my members. No, our Lord, do not look at my deeds - may your grace blot out my guilt! Do not enter into judgment with me, our Lord, for no one living will be justified before You. You alone, Lord, are pure. Spare me and cleanse me from sins by Thy grace, grant me, O Merciful One, Thy great bounties, that I may be enriched by them and receive forgiveness, and Thy Angels will rejoice according to Thy word, O Merciful One to sinners! I beg You, True Light, Birth of the Blessed Father, Image of His hypostasis, Seated at the right hand of His Majesty, Christ, praise and joy of those who love You, my life, my light, my joy! Do not despise me, humiliated, do not reject me, vile, because the enemy will be extremely pleased when I am thrown into despair due to the darkness of vice surrounding me. He only rejoices when he sees that despair is beginning to make me his prisoner. But You, in Your kindness, disgrace his hope, snatch me from his teeth, deliver me from his malicious intent, from everything that he erects against me, because he is against me against many people. Grant me, Lord, enlightenment to understand the machinations of my opponent and the hater of all good, because he puts in my way countless temptations and opportunities for inclination: both harm and benefit, the joys of this age and carnal pleasure, the length of real life, timidity towards exploits, laziness towards prayer, sleep and bodily rest during psalmody. As much as the enemy tries for my destruction, I, poor man, indulge in carelessness and negligence, and the more snares he sets for me, the more careless I am. Be careful, my soul, take care of your conscience, do not pay attention to the failures of others, but be more attentive to your own failures. Hurry, warn, make peace with Christ, crucified in the flesh for you! If we have condemned ourselves, then we will not be condemned where there is great and endless condemnation. Have mercy on me, O Lord, according to Your compassion and save me according to Your only goodness through the prayers of our Most Pure Lady Theotokos and all Your saints. Deliver from the enemy, as one who is zealous for the soul betrothed to You! A soul suppressed by sorrow comes to You, Holy Master, and with tears it appears, complaining about the destroyer-enemy, and with all humility it falls, asking for protection from the opponent who oppresses it. Since she boldly approaches You, listen to her quickly and carefully visit her, running to You with love. If you despise her, suppressed by grief, then she will perish. If you hesitate to listen to her, mortified, then her strength will become impoverished. But if, through Your compassions, you visit her, you will be found whole; if you look at her, you will be saved; if you hear her, you will be strengthened in strength. Be jealous of her, because she is betrothed to You and Paul, who betrothed her to You, said that You, the Immortal One, are jealous (see: 2 Cor. 11:2). Do not despise her, so that the enemy does not think that You are divorced from her and send her away from You. Punish me, Lord, according to Your mercies, but do not deliver me into the hands of the destroyer! I have collected my thoughts from everywhere and cannot remember anything good before You, except for the fact that I do not know any other god besides You. The machinations of the enemy and the resourcefulness of sin Behold, I fall again at the feet of my Lord, asking, pleading, worshiping and crying out in fear. Listen, Master, to my lamentation and accept the words of my petition that I, a disgraced sinner, bring to You. Pour on me, poor one, by Your mercy, at least a small drop of the grace of admonition and conversion - so that I may have at least a little zeal for correcting myself. For if Your grace does not enlighten my soul, I will not be able to see in myself the damage and devastation produced in me by passions due to my negligence and carelessness. Alas, the sin that has prevailed over me has found its pasture in me and every day it humiliates me more and more and plunges me into its depths, and I, the accursed one, do not cease to anger God, not fearing that unquenchable fire, not trembling through endless torment. Sin, turning into a habit, drew me into complete destruction. Although I convict myself and do not cease to bring confession, I still remain in sins. I look and don’t see, because I sin in repentance itself, without delving into the distinction of deeds. As a slave of sin, and unwillingly, I do evil; as a warrior under his power, I submit to him and, having the opportunity to escape, I pay tribute to this skill that reigns in me. Caring about the passions, I bear the taxes of the flesh. Knowing that the corruption in me is intensifying, I myself contribute to it, drawn by some secret force; It’s as if I want to run, but, like a dog on an iron chain, I return to the same place again. Sometimes I come to the point of hatred of sin and abhorrence of iniquity, but still I remain enslaved to passion; she possesses me, the unfortunate one, and with the sweetness of sin drags me into sin against my will. Passion has bought my will and pours sin on me. Passions boil inside me despite my mind: they have dissolved with the flesh and cannot tolerate separation. I’m straining to change my will, but my previous state will in no way allow me to succeed in this. I am trying, poor thing, to free my soul from debt, but the evil lender immediately puts me into even greater debt. He lends generously and does not remind me of repayment, he does not even want to take it back at all, wanting only my slavery; gives and does not collect debt, so that I may be enriched by passions. I want to give him an old debt, but he adds a new one. If I make myself a little forced, contrary to my passions, he, in order to overthrow me, adds new passions and, seeing that constant being in debt makes me be a sinner, introduces new desires into me, and so that I do not confess, he plunges me into the oblivion of my passions. I meet new passions and, occupied with them, forget about the old ones. I make friends with passions that have reappeared - and again I find myself in debt, I run to them as if they were friends, and my creditors again treat me like rulers, and I, who not long before tried to gain freedom, for their sake I become a devoted slave. I hasten to break their bonds again - and again I am burdened with new ones. I hasten to free myself from warfare in their ranks, but, as having taken many gifts from them, I find myself involuntarily associated with them. Oh, what power sinful passions have over me! Oh, what a reign of the evil and cunning serpent! Acting according to nature, he enters into bargaining and gives collateral to sell the mind to sin itself. He convinces me to please the flesh under the pretext of using it to serve the soul, and I am overcome by voluptuousness and, immediately indulging in incontinent sleep, I am completely deprived of its service. When I pray, it inspires me with the thought of some insignificant pleasure and with it, like a copper chain, it holds my weak mind and does not loosen the bonds, although it tries to run away. Thus sin keeps a guard over the mind and locks the door of knowledge from me. The enemy constantly watches the mind so that it does not come into agreement with God and does not prevent the sale of the flesh, for this he brings in many confused thoughts, assuring that at the Judgment there will be no question about such a small thing, that it is impossible even to be aware of these thoughts and that everything like this will be consigned to oblivion. But I imagine my reproach before my eyes and I know that I am threatened with punishment. By this he holds me back, by this he binds me, by this sin sells me and buys me, by this he misleads me, by this he flatters me and subjugates me to himself, because, as the apostle says, a man of the flesh is sold under sin (see: Rom. 7:14). For sin, which is in my flesh, rules over the mind and, due to my guilt, using the flesh in action, burdens the soul with it. If someone intends to fast, or remain in vigil, or inflict wounds on himself, sin, through the flesh, as its property, burdens the soul with chains, and, like a sheep to the slaughter, binds it, and, also through the flesh, cuts off its arms and legs. I can neither run nor help myself. Alas, I am a living dead man, I look and I don’t see, from a man I have become a dog, and I, the rational one, are treated like cattle. Have mercy on yourself, soul, and hasten to finally enter into the struggle with sin before separation from the body, so that we do not remain behind the doors along with the foolish virgins, because it is impossible for mortals to see life or think about righteousness where there is no struggle, in which there is life and death, and where there is no flesh, with which the enemy, defeated through it, is given over to reproach. You might be interested in: