«Вот теперь-то я совсем свободен!»

A year before the end of the second three-year term, on the day of the fifth anniversary of his imprisonment, Bishop Hilarion, when thinking about the future, experienced a feeling of some confusion: “Now I am experiencing a not entirely pleasant state of complete uncertainty: will I leave here or will I stay again,” Bishop wrote to his cousin on November 15, 1928. – If I leave, it will be soon, but whether in this last case I will exchange the hawk for the cuckoo 389 is also unknown. In a word, inside I have unknown or uncertainty. I also don’t know what to wish for myself.” 390 But there was no need to decide. His days were already numbered. However, as before, so now in the mood of St. Hilarion one can hear not only Ambrose’s “live - don’t grieve,” but also Chrysostom’s “glory to God for everything”: “And so, over many years I got used to it and live without grieving. I don’t hope for the best, I don’t renounce the worst. Whatever God’s will is for me, so let it be” 391. At the end of his term, Archbishop Hilarion (Troitsky) was sentenced to exile in Kazakhstan. He had to get to the place of exile in stages through transit prisons. At the stage he was robbed. To top it all off, somewhere during the transfers, the bishop contracted typhus and arrived in Leningrad in complete exhaustion. In the hospital they shaved him, but the confessor of Christ already had a foretaste of his imminent freedom in the Heavenly Church and in unconsciousness said: “Now I’m completely free, no one will take me...” 392 General I.M. Zaitsev, from the words of former security officer M.I. Yupovich, wrote that they tried to poison Archbishop Hilarion back in Yaroslavl, after negotiations with Tuchkov, but the poison had no effect. Archimandrite of Feodosia (Almazov) was sure that the cause of death of Bishop Hilarion was also poison: “Obviously, he was injected with it when he was sick with typhus in Petrograd and his body was weakened. Undoubtedly, Archbishop Hilarion in Petrograd died of poisoning” 393. On December 15/28, 1929, when the doctor approached Archbishop Hilarion with the good news that the crisis had passed and recovery was now possible, the patient replied: “How good! Now we are far from...” - and with these words he died 394. On May 10, 1999, by the Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church, Archbishop Hilarion (Troitsky) was glorified as a hieromartyr in the host of new martyrs and confessors of Russia. “Exchange a cuckoo for a hawk” is a popular saying meaning “exchange bad for worse.” Vladyka Hilarion cites this proverb in a modified form. He doubts whether he will be able to change the “hawk for the cuckoo,” that is, the worst for the bad, since life in a godless state was fraught for him with no less dangers than staying in the camp. Hilarion (Troitsky), Archbishop. Letter from L.P. Arkhangelskaya dated November 15, 1928 (The copy is erroneously dated 1929) – Archive of A.V. Nikitsky. His own. Letter from L.P. Arkhangelskaya dated March 23, 1929 – Archive of A.V. Nikitsky. Polsky M., protopres. New Russian martyrs. P. 134. Theodosius (Almazov), archimandrite. My memories: Notes of a Solovetsky prisoner. – M.: Krutitskoye Patriarchal Compound; Society of Church History Lovers, 1997. P. 105. John (Snychev), Metropolitan. St. Petersburg and Ladoga. Hieromartyr Hilarion, Archbishop of Verei: Life and Testimonies. P. 26.