Глава XXIII. Собеседование двенадцати анахоретов

One day, twelve anchorites, holy, wise and spiritual men, came together and asked each other to say what each one had corrected in his cell and what kind of spiritual feat he had fought. The first, the oldest of them, said: I, brethren, from the time I began to remain silent, have crucified myself entirely to external affairs, remembering what is written: let us break their bonds, and cast away their yoke from us (Ps. 2:3), and, having built, as it were, a wall between my soul and bodily things, I said in my mind: just as he who is behind the wall does not see what is standing outside, so you should never see external things, but to yourself pay attention, eating daily the hope of God. I consider evil wishes to be a serpent and the offspring of a viper, and when I feel that they are generated in my heart, I dry them up with anger and rage and do not cease to be angry with my body and soul, so that they do not do anything bad. The second said: since I renounced the world, I said to myself: now you have been reborn, now begin to arrange your heart as if you were sitting inside like a stranger, and tomorrow you have to leave. This is what I constantly told myself. The third said: in the morning I go to my Lord and worship Him, casting myself on my face and confessing my sins; then I descend to His Angels and worship them, asking them to pray to God for me and for all of God’s creation; Having done this, I descend into the abyss, and as the Jews do when they come to Jerusalem, that is, they tear their clothes, weep and weep over the misfortune of their fathers, so I do: I walk through the torment places and weep with those who weep, in vain as if I were tormented with them. The fourth said: I saw myself as if sitting on the Mount of Olives with the Lord and His Angels and said to myself: from now on, know no one according to the flesh, but always remain with these alone, seeking them and imitating their good life. Sit like Mary at the feet of the Lord and listen to His word, which He says: You will be holy, for I am holy (Lev. 11:44; 1 Peter 1:16), and be merciful and perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect (Matthew 5:48; Luke 6:36), and learn from Me, for I am meek and humble in heart ( Matthew 11:29). The fifth said: I see Angels ascending and descending every hour to call souls, and, constantly awaiting the end, I say: my heart is ready, God, ready (Ps. 107:2). The sixth said: I believe every day that I hear these words from the Lord: Labor for Me, and I will give you rest; Strive a little more, and I will show you My salvation and My glory; if you love Me, then when you are My children, be ashamed of the Father who calls you; if you are My brothers, be ashamed of Me, who suffered so much for you; if you are My sheep, then follow the steps of the Lord. The seventh said: I always keep three things in my mind and constantly instill in myself: faith, hope and love, so that I can rejoice through faith, never offend anyone through love, and be strengthened by hope. The eighth said: I always see the devil, looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8), and wherever I go, I see with my inner eyes my Master God, and I pray to Him against the devil, so that he will not succeed and will not be able to do anything to those who fear Him. The ninth said: every day I see the church of the intelligent Powers and the Lord of glory in the midst of it, the brightest of all. When I am faint-hearted, I ascend to heaven, I behold the wondrous beauties of the Angels, I listen to the songs that they send up to God and their melodies, I am rejoiced by their brightness and singing, remembering what is written: the heavens will tell the glory of God (Ps. 18:2), and I count everything that is on earth into dust and smoke. The tenth said: I always see the Angel standing near me and keep myself, remembering what is written: I will foresee the Lord before me, as if he is on my right hand, but I will not move (Ps. 15:8), therefore I fear him, the watcher of the ways, for he ascends to God every day and declares to Him my words and deeds. The eleventh said: listening to the virtues - temperance, chastity, long-suffering and love, I attracted them to myself and surrounded myself with them and, wherever I go, I say to myself: where are your leaders? Do not be faint-hearted and do not lose heart, having them always near you, and whatever you seek will appear to you. They intercede a lot for you before God because they have found peace in you. The twelfth said: you, having received wings from heaven, have acquired a heavenly life - and it is no wonder, for I see that you are exalted in deeds and are philosophizing on high, and that you will be removed from the earth with glory, having alienated yourself completely from its affairs. What will I tell you, earthly angels and heavenly people? Considering myself unworthy of life, I always see my sins before me, wherever I go, and wherever I turn, I see them going ahead of me everywhere. Therefore, I condemned myself to hell, saying: I will be with those with whom I am worthy to be; in a little while I will be numbered among them. Seeing there the torment and tears, incessant and inexpressible, the gnashing of teeth and the trembling of my whole body, I cast myself down on my face, begging God not to experience those sorrows. Seeing the fiery sea, bubbling, the waves of which reach the heavens, and the terrible angels, plunging into it countless numbers of people who have turned away the mercy of God with their sins, who from the unbearable burning utter terrible cries, unbearable for any mortal, I cry for the human race, that in blindness it dares to indulge in sins or earthly things, when such torment awaits them. With these thoughts I hold in my heart weeping, considering myself unworthy of heaven and earth and fulfilling the word of Scripture: my tears were bread to me day and night (Ps. 41:4). These are the acts of the wise and holy fathers. Grant, Lord, that we too may experience a life worthy of memory, so that, having become blameless, let us give thanks to our Master God. You might be interested in: