Слово III, в котором рассказывается о том, что христианам не подобает устраивать игры, плясать и петь на своих свадьбах

The human tongue and even the most skillful orator are unable to give worthy praise to blessed Paul, the chosen vessel, raptured to the third heaven, teacher of the nations and supreme apostle! For, having in his heart Christ the speaking and active grace of the Holy Spirit, he not only laid down and taught us all the sacraments of our Orthodox faith, but also explained in detail that Christian marriages should not be lawless and ugly, but pious, legal and honest. And not just honest, but honest in every way. In his Epistle to the Hebrews, Paul says with great wisdom: Let marriage be honorable among all and the bed undefiled (Heb. 13:4). And he is honest in everything. And not only among old people, but also among young people - everyone. Honest in everything, not for a while, but forever, before the blessing of the union of husband and wife, during the blessing and after the blessing. Marriage is honorable in everything, not only in one thing and not in one place, but in everything and in every place: in food, in drink, in clothing, in church, at home, at meals - everywhere. The great Chrysostom and his follower Theophylact of Bulgaria interpreted the words of Paul in exactly the same way: “So, be honest in everything, and not so that among the elderly - yes, and among the young - no, but among everyone, in every form and at all times; so that he is not only honest in sorrow and not in prosperity, not only honest on one certain day and not on another, but completely honest in everything” 51 . So all Christian marriages, which are now arranged with games, dances, songs and other disgraces, are no longer honest and pious, as the Apostle established, but, according to his divine interpreters Chrysostom and Theophylact, dishonest and unworthy for Christians, since they disgrace themselves with such ugly games, unholy dances and vulgar songs. That is why, brothers, I decided today, for the sake of your love, to talk to you about this and show why Christians should not participate in games, dances and songs at their weddings. So here I go. Why marriage is called a sacrament Holy theologians consider marriage a sacrament for three reasons. Firstly, this is a union of love between the souls of husband and wife. Secondly, the image of the spiritual unity of Christ with the Church. And according to Paul, this mystery is great; I speak in relation to Christ and to the Church (Eph. 5:32-33). And thirdly, since marriage itself is endowed with God's grace, like other sacraments, and therefore it frees spouses from prodigal sin, just like repentance and prayer. Therefore, Paul says: But to avoid fornication, each one have his own wife, and each one have her own husband (1 Cor. 7:2). Why games and dancing are contrary to the very spirit of marriage And now, upon reflection, we will understand that games with songs and dances contradict the three above-mentioned signs, and therefore are alien and harmful to the sacrament of Marriage. Why? Firstly, they are destructive to the union of loving hearts of husband and wife, since at the wedding the groom sees other women, dances with them, and his soul and heart are kindled with passion for one of them, especially if she is also younger and more beautiful than his bride. The same can happen to a newlywed. She sees many men around her, is drawn into dancing with them, and her soul and heart may also be inflamed with lust for one of them, especially if he turns out to be younger and more beautiful than her fiancé. Thus, where marriage unites hearts, there devilish games and dances destroy the spiritual union of the spouses. Secondly, games, dances and songs distort the image of the spiritual unity of Christ and the Church. And how they distort it, it is useful for everyone, especially grooms, to listen to the following words: “Christ sanctified and cleansed the Church with holy baptism, so that,” as Paul says, “he might sanctify it, cleansing it with the washing of water through the word” (Eph. 5:26). You, as a husband and groom, having arranged games at your wedding and allowed dances and songs at home, instead of purifying and sanctifying your bride and wife, you defile and make her soul unclean, and besides, you yourself are desecrated and become unclean. Christ founded his glorious and beautiful Church, which does not have any flaw, deficiency or any other defect. As Paul says, to present it to Himself as a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish (Eph. 5:27). But you, husband, with the games, dances and songs that you allow at your wedding, you corrupt the kindness, beauty and glory of your wife and make her ugly, inglorious, disgusting and full of vices, and you yourself become like her, bad and ugly. Christ loved the Church so much that for the sake of this love He gave Himself to death. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her (Eph. 5:25). But you, as a husband, do not love your wife with the same true love; on the contrary, you hate her. If you truly loved her, you would not allow satanic games, dances, songs and other outrages that defile her soul at your wedding. Need I also say that you don’t love yourself, but rather hate yourself, since you allow such soul-harming outrages in your home. In a word, drunkenness, disgrace and evil, which you, a man, allow at your wedding, all this defiles and dishonors the spiritual marriage of Christ and the Church, the very marriage of which your own wedding is the image and likeness. So, according to Basil the Great, “the honoring of the image passes to the prototype” (On the Holy Spirit. Ch. 18). And the divine Chrysostom adds: “If you think about marriage, think about Christ and the Church, whose image is marriage, and do not bring games and dancing into it, because marriage is not theater. This is a sacrament and an image of a great thing. If you are not ashamed of him, at least be ashamed of the image of which he serves... Dancing is in the Hellenic mysteries, and in our sacraments there is silence and decency, modesty and restraint. A great sacrament is being performed: out, harlots, out, vile ones!.. And marriage is a fragrant ointment. How can you bring stinking dirt to where you prepare fragrant ointment?.. Everything should be imbued with prudence, piety and modesty. Now I see the completely opposite: galloping like camels or mules... That’s why I want to cleanse marriage, elevate it to the degree of nobility that befits it, and thereby stop the heretics. The gift of God, the root of our existence, is disgraced!.. Tell me: are you performing a sacrament and calling on the devil?” (Conversation 12 on Colossians). Thirdly, games, songs and dances at a wedding defile and are contrary to the grace that is contained in the sacrament of the Wedding in order to free and deliver the spouses from prodigal sin. Therefore, the devil’s instruments, dances and songs make marriage not a deliverance from fornication and sin, but a mediator and cause of fornication, adultery and all other vices. Do they not become the cause of so many secret adulteries among married people and so many lustful thoughts in the soul? As the Lord said, do not those who gamble commit adultery with lust in their souls? And those who sing? And those who dance? But aren’t those who come to weddings out of idle curiosity to look at women, pester them and listen to vulgar and depraved songs commit adultery in their thoughts? Let me talk about other sins that happen at weddings because of games and dancing. I mean obscene words, unholy dancing, vulgar conversations, drunkenness, seductive clothing and jewelry, women wearing makeup, abusing incense and other indecent means. If anyone wanted to describe all this in more detail, it would be a whole book. When weddings drag on not for one, not for two, not for eight, but for fifteen days, and moreover in several places, who can count how many sins and evils have been committed? Lord, have mercy! To summarize what has been said, I note that today’s Christian weddings, due to the outrages and outrages that take place at them, risk losing the grace-filled and honest sacrament that they truly are, according to the definition of the Holy Church. In this case, weddings turn into ordinary pagan and Hellenic booths, wicked and nasty, like a den and a network into which the enemy of the human race lures people in order to plunge them into sin and suffering and thereby doom them to inevitable punishment. Why does marriage need to be protected from all sorts of outrages? Oh, how can you not cry and grieve? After all, before our eyes, the devil turned the saving Christian works and sacraments upside down, took up arms to disgrace and destroy them, especially marriage, which should be protected most of all from any atrocities. For the Creator first introduced marriage for His creatures: And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female he created them. ...and God said to them: Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth (Gen. 1:27–28). Later, Christ will exalt him with His holy coming, being at the wedding in Cana, and the beginning of His miracles: Thus, Jesus began his miracles in Canna of Galilee. This is why marriage is the beginning of the multiplication and spread of people on earth. The whole world is filled and supported by marriage, but without marriage it would be empty. In short, marriage is the natural basis, the root of all humanity. As soon as the marriage and the root become holy, the whole (tree) with its branches, that is, people born in marriage, will be sanctified. As Paul says, if the root is holy, so are the branches (Rom. 11:16). If the marriage is fundamentally unclean, then the branches born in the marriage will certainly be just as unfit and unclean. This is where I see the reason that many people today fall into sin because they are born from evil and ungodly marriages. Just as games and dancing are not appropriate in other sacraments, so they should not be in the sacrament of marriage. Now have you understood, my beloved brothers, why it is inappropriate to play, dance and sing at Christian weddings? However, this will become even clearer to you after my further story. In our Catholic Orthodox faith there are seven sacraments: Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist, Priesthood, Penance, Anointing and Marriage. So, if it were convenient and legal to play, dance and sing during the wedding, which is one of the seven sacraments, then it would be necessary to do the same at baptism, and at confirmation, and at the priesthood, and at the rest too. However, this is not the case, because Christians do not play musical instruments, do not dance or sing songs either during baptism, or during confirmation, or during communion, or during repentance and blessing of oil. It is also not appropriate for them to play instruments, dance or sing when getting married. If they do play and dance and sing at a wedding, one of two inevitable consequences occurs: either marriage ceases to be a sacrament, like the other six, or at the other six it is necessary to play, dance and sing in exactly the same way, since all sacraments are equal. That is why it is not appropriate for Christians to play, dance and sing at weddings! Under what conditions is marriage considered legal? Finally, my brothers, you have become familiar in general terms with the image and order of marriage among all Christians, as established by the Holy Church of Christ. For a marriage to be legal and canonical, eleven conditions must be met. Kinship in any form is unacceptable: neither carnal nor from the holy font, since kinship prevents church marriage. Consent and agreement between the parents of those wishing to get married is necessary, since marriages entered into without the will of the parents, according to Canon 38 of Basil the Great, are tantamount to fornication. Those who enter into such a marriage are excommunicated from communion for three years after the reconciliation of their parents. Consent and mutual love between the bride and groom are also necessary. According to custom, matchmaking with prayers and betrothal with kisses are carried out, which are exchanged between the bride and groom. The husband must be at least fifteen years old, and the wife - thirteen, in accordance with the decree of Patriarch Nicholas and the example of the emperors Alexei Komnenos and Leo the Wise. If the betrothal is carried out only with words and gifts, then such a ceremony is not recognized as betrothal and is not called matchmaking. However, please note that marriage can take place without betrothal, according to the cathedral decree of Patriarch Nicholas, and also without the exchange of gifts between parents before the wedding. Grooms should preserve their virginity without desecrating their brides before the wedding, for such are subject to penance, according to Canon 26 of Basil the Great, that is, they are excommunicated from communion for seven years. When the time comes to get married, both the man and woman must confess to their confessor and prepare for communion with fasting and prayer. On the day of the wedding, before the liturgy, after the proskomedia, the priest who will marry them must leave the altar in full priestly vestments and lead the bride and groom to the middle of the church and marry them according to the rite described in the Trebnik. However, one should not fill the cup with bread and wine and not let them drink it completely, as it says in the Breviary, because this is a recent custom that some ignoramuses and madmen introduced into the Breviary instead of Divine Communion, which those who are getting married should proceed to if they do not have canonical obstacles. After the wedding ceremony, the priest shows the bride and groom a place in the church where they stand side by side, and, entering the altar, proclaims: “Blessed is the Kingdom” and begins the liturgy. When the priest comes out and exclaims: “Come with the fear of God and faith,” the bride and groom come up and both take communion. After the liturgy, the newlyweds go home, accompanied by priests, clergy and invited laymen, sit down at the table, eat, drink, have fun and rejoice with piety and decency for the glory of God, as befits Christians. The newlyweds should not sleep together that night because they participated in the Divine Sacraments, but only the next evening. This, brothers, is the order of marriage that was established by the holy fathers of our Church, but which - alas! Alas! – is distorted now! Oh, I don’t have the strength to talk about this without tears! The majority of Christians today do not keep it and transgress, therefore they do not see success either physically, or even more so spiritually, neither they themselves nor their children. Why aren't grooms supposed to go to their brides' homes? Why is a wedding necessary? My Christian brothers, if in your hearts there is the fear of God and the desire to be saved, to give birth to pious and virtuous children, then with all your might preserve this holy order in order to protect yourself (from destruction) when getting married. This especially applies to parents who intend to marry their children. For the sake of God's love, try in every possible way to marry your offspring according to the procedure described above. And if you want your children to succeed, and so that you yourself will also be happy, marry them immediately upon reaching maturity and do not delay until they fall into fornication or some other desecration of their virginity. As the divine Chrysostom advises you, “Let us quickly bring them wives, so that they, having pure and untouched bodies, will accept the bride. Such love is especially fiery. Those who were chaste before marriage will remain so even more so after it. And whoever learned to commit fornication before marriage will do the same after marriage” (Conversation 9 on 1 Timothy). And Sirach says the same thing: all bread is sweet to a depraved man; it will not be satisfied until he dies (Sir.24:23). And if some layman, currently possessed by an evil and vile habit, prevents you from following the established order, do not listen to him and do as you are accustomed to: marry your children according to the rules of the Holy Church of Christ. Be especially careful that your sons do not go home to their brides. Emperor Alexei Komnenos 52 prescribes this behavior in his novella. He draws attention to the fact that meetings and long conversations alone between brides and grooms only inflame their passions, and young people enter into a relationship without waiting for marriage. And the holy bishops need to take care and work to put an end to this evil and nasty custom that has spread in many places - grooms often visiting their brides at home. The fact is that those who enter into a relationship before marriage are not only excommunicated from the Church as fornicators, as already mentioned above. According to the rules of the Holy Church, they are not only unworthy to receive communion, but also to accept crowns on their heads when their marriage is blessed. After all, crowns are a symbol of victory. The victories of youth over carnal pleasures and passions, the triumph of preserving virginity before marriage. As the great Chrysostom says, “for this reason crowns are placed on heads - as a sign of victory, so that they enter the bridal chamber without being defeated, so that they are not overcome by lust. If someone, carried away by voluptuousness, has given himself over to fornication, then why after this does he have a crown on his head when he is conquered?” (Conversation 9 on 1 Timothy). And now, Christian brothers, I ask you to tell me frankly. Will a married couple who have been blessed and married in the manner described above remain righteous if they make noise, play, dance and sing at their wedding? And would it be fair if those who heard the blessings and holy words of the priests who blessed the young should again defile their ears with profane and profane songs? And those standing in God’s church, having consecrated their feet, would again desecrate them with devilish dances? In a word, is it fair that those who received communion on this day of the Most Pure Mysteries should not keep all their bodily and mental feelings and strengths pure for the sake of grace, honor and shrines that they received? And again I ask, is it fair for those involved to also watch obscene shows, games, dances and other disgraces, in general, to disgrace themselves with all kinds of obscenity? I am sure you will unanimously agree with me: all this is unfair and obscene. That's how it is. That is why the Holy Local Council of Laodicea, whose resolutions were approved by the VI Ecumenical Council, directly prohibits Christians from playing musical instruments and dancing at weddings. But he recommends that everyone gather at noon and dine piously and decently. This is what it says literally in the 53rd rule of the cathedral decree: “It is not proper for Christians going to weddings to jump or dance, but to sup and dine modestly, as befits Christians.” Even in ancient times there were no games at weddings That is why, my beloved brothers, do not henceforth adhere to this lawless and evil custom, if you want the prayer and blessing of the holy fathers of the above-mentioned holy council and the entire Church to be in your home, and if you want God to bless your marriage, your grooms and brides, as He blessed Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, Jacob and Leah, Joseph and Asenath, because these righteous people arranged their marriages piously and decently, and not with wicked games and dances. My witness to this will be the great John Chrysostom, who says that Abraham’s servant brought Rebekah from Mesopotamia to Canaan for his son Isaac without tambourines and dancing, only under the patronage of the angel of God: “But let’s see how he consummated the marriage, having received a bride. Did he take with him cymbals, pipes, dancers, timbrels, flutes and other inventions? Nothing like that; but, taking only one maiden, he set off, having with him an angel who accompanied and guided her” (Conversations on Marriage, 3). So, if our ancient righteous forefathers and patriarchs, who were the founders, are like little children in comparison with Christians, perfect people of the Gospel, and if, I note, even they did not organize games and dances at weddings, although their marriage was not elevated to the honor and rank of a sacrament, then is it not a great shame to organize dances and games for Christians who have comprehended the truth of the Gospel and have become people like Christ? Isn’t it a shame that Christians dishonor their marriages with such ugly things, especially now that marriage exists and is called a sacrament? Depraved wedding feasts produce weak and deformed children That is why, brothers, imitate the holy forefathers and stop the outrages, if you want God to give you many good, healthy, strong, beautiful and hardworking children. If you do not listen (to this advice), then you will force God to bring down His wrath on your heads and punish you, parents, with various illnesses and misfortunes, and leave the children you give birth to unhappy, sick, crippled and unlucky, so that, looking at them, you will shudder to the core. Where can you find out about this? From the story of righteous Job. This was a real man of God. Although he kept all God’s commandments and abstained from all evil deeds, as the Lord Himself testifies, nevertheless, when the righteous man lost his children, lost his wealth and fell ill with leprosy, he began to curse the day on which he was born. “Perish the day,” said Job, “in which I was born, and the night in which it was said: man was conceived” (Job 3:3). For what reason did he curse the day on which he was born? One of the interpreters (unpublished) answers this question that in those ancient times there was a custom: when a child was born, the parents called local residents, treated them, celebrating the joyful event. That is why righteous Job was afraid that on his birthday the invited guests also got drunk, sang, danced and did other outrages and sinned. For this, God allowed Job to be punished with illness and his children with death. Therefore the righteous man cursed the day and night when he was born. Listen, Christians! Since righteous Job was afraid that on the day of his birth some outrages or sins were committed, for which he was punished by God and deprived of children, then how come you, fools, are not afraid of so many of your iniquities that occur at your weddings? How are you not afraid that for the evil and sins committed at your weddings, God will punish you and your children who will die before their time? Truly, I cannot call you by any other name than the one that the prophet Isaiah called the Jews. And I, of course, will also call you deaf and blind: Hear, you deaf, and see, you blind, that you may see. Who is as blind as My servant, and deaf as My messenger, sent by Me? Who is as blind as the beloved, as blind as the servant of the Lord? (Isaiah 42:18–19). Therefore, you do not hear or see the great punishments that games, dances and songs lead to, both in your soul and in your life, both in yourself and in your children and in everything that you have. However, what do those who consider themselves smarter than others object to us? So they claim: here, they say, in the 54th decree of the mentioned Council of Laodicea it is said that priests and clergy are not supposed to watch indecent spectacles at weddings and feasts. And in such cases, they are supposed to get up and leave before the buffoons come and begin their performances. In their opinion, it turns out that, according to this law, it is permissible to arrange all sorts of fun at weddings and feasts. We will not answer this. Let us just give our Lord’s answer to the Pharisees who tempted Him and said that Moses allowed husbands to give letters of divorce to their wives and to let them go for any reason: Moses, because of your hardness of heart, allowed you to divorce your wives, but at first it was not so (Matthew 19:8). We say the same thing to those who hide behind the Mosaic Law: due to the hardness of heart and disobedience of Christians, the holy council showed condescension and said so. And for no other reason than economy 53 and condescension. This can be understood from the previous, that is, the previous, that is, the 53rd, resolution of the council. For in its decree it is clearly stated what the important intention of the council and its decision was and what goal it pursued: that Christians should not participate at all in any games or dances at weddings, but, as befits them, would have their afternoon and supper modestly and decently. Nevertheless, there have been some hard-hearted and rebellious Christians, children of disobedience, who strive to do their own will and corrupting customs. They bring musical instruments to weddings, disregarding the laws of the holy cathedral and the holy Mother Church. That is why this divine council was forced to show leniency. In his 54th decree, he prescribes: if such disobedient Christians bring musical instruments to a wedding, then the clergy should get up and leave so as not to participate in such outrage and sin. Ah, Christians, Christians! Even after all that has been said, you do not understand that games and songs at weddings turn into disgrace and evil. Therefore, the Holy Council instructs priests and clerics to avoid such undertakings. If games and songs at weddings were decent, then the cathedral, of course, should have allowed them to remain at the spectacles. But, alas, brothers! He didn't do it. How can your heart bear it when you see that the servants of the Most High God are leaving your wedding, and dancers and buffoons are taking their place? How can your soul bear that your home is abandoned by the servants of God, who bless both your marriage and your meal, and Satan’s minions sit at your table to defile your souls with wicked dances? Crazy! Don't you realize what you're doing? Your deeds are as if you were driving saints out of a wedding in order to invite sinners; drive out those who bless you and call back those who curse you; they would turn out those who enlighten you and gather those who plunge you into darkness; they would send the angels away and call in the demons; would they drive Christ away and call in the devil? Oh, how terrible is the lack of fear of God among today's Christians! And could this not result in greater shame, greater neglect, and greater unrighteousness? I also think about this: the above-mentioned holy council determined that priests and clergy should leave weddings when the buffoons come, so that, seeing them leave, the Christians who arranged the wedding would be ashamed and expel the buffoons, and would keep the servants of God in their home. Where there are games, there is no Christ Would you like to know that our Lord Jesus Christ does not enter a house where games are being held? Follow me. We are going to Jerusalem. Here we come. Here a girl died, and her father, whose name was Jairus, came to Jesus, begging Him to come to his house and resurrect his daughter. And the most merciful Jesus Christ, sympathizing with his grief and misfortune, went to him. But there He saw great disorder: musicians playing pipes and pipes not to alleviate suffering, but to cause sadness with the sad songs they sang. As the historian Joseph says, at that time the Jews had the custom of inviting buffoons to funerals so that they would sing sad songs and thereby make people grieve and cry even more (The Jewish War. Book III, Chapter 30). Chrysostom says the same thing in his interpretation of the 9th chapter of Matthew. Seeing them, the Lord did not enter Jairus’s house, no, but ordered everyone to get out. And as soon as they left, He entered the house and, taking the girl by the hand, immediately resurrected her by the omnipotent power of His Divinity. And when Jesus came to the ruler’s house and saw the flute players and the people in confusion, he said to them, “Come out, for the maiden is not dead, but sleeps.” And they laughed at Him. When the people were sent out, He entered, took her by the hand, and the girl stood up (Matthew 9:23-25). Now let each of you understand the difference between flute players and buffoons at modern weddings and at ancient funerals, since the latter played to cause sadness, sighs and tears, which are not harmful to the soul, but even beneficial. And modern buffoons play at weddings to evoke joy, laughter, dances and songs that are harmful and reprehensible to the soul. Those, playing, made the house a place of grief and sadness; These, while playing, turn the house into a place of drunkenness and sin. For it is better to enter a house of sorrow than into a den of drunkenness. As Solomon says, it is better to go to a house of mourning for someone who has died, rather than to go to a house of feasting (Eccl. 7:2). Besides all that has been said, our Lord did not enter the house with the buffoons. He entered it only after they had left, in order to thus teach us how hateful and disgusting He is to all kinds of buffoons, both those that cause joy and those that bring sadness. He set an example that we should do the same, that is, hate such musicians and not let them onto our doorstep. What do you say now, newlyweds? Christ wants to enter your home with the angels, bless your marriage, as He did in Cana, bless your meal, turn water into wine, that is, bring spiritual joy with His holy coming and infuse every good thing into the souls of yours and your family and all the guests at your wedding. What will you answer us? Don't you want Christ to visit your home and bestow blessings and favors? If you want Christ, then do not arrange games and dances. If you prefer games and dancing, then Christ will not remain in the house where atrocities are being committed, and will immediately leave you, and His priests, clerics will follow Him, and with them all the blessings will leave the house from which Christ and His servants left, and there will be no one left in the house except Satan and his minions of demons, the bearers of all evil, sin and misfortune. If you are true Christians, imitators and disciples of Jesus Christ, then, brothers, you must wish a thousand times that the buffoons, dancers and singers would disappear from your home and from your wedding, rather than prefer that Christ and Christ’s servants and priests leave and with them you would be deprived of every good, mental and physical, earthly and heavenly, temporal and eternal. As the divine Chrysostom says, “if you remove these (disturbances), then Christ Himself will come to you for such a wedding celebration; and where Christ is present, there, of course, the face of angels appears. If you want, now He will perform a miracle, as then (in Cana of Galilee), and now He will turn water into wine.” (Conversation 12 on Colossians). How Christians should have fun at weddings But what do some people object to? If marriage is joy, then how can we express it if not through games, dances and songs? Listen to me who speak such words! I will teach you how to have fun and be happy. My Christian brothers, newlyweds, when you arrange a wedding, invite a singer with a good voice and ask him to sing some kind of irmos or hymn to Christ, the Mother of God or the saints; call the priests and clergy so that they and each of them can sing some kind of irmos or troparik; or better yet, let them sing some spiritual song that corresponds to the sacrament of your marriage. For example, real dignifications and sedals, which we give below. Bless, O Lord God, Your servants, who are now united to each other, as You blessed of old Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah, and protect them from all filth. Preserve Your servants, Jesus, these spouses, in immaculate love, like-minded souls and peace of spirit, and grant them the kingdom of God. Honorable is this marriage, O Christ, in all respects, and preserve the bed of those now married pure and immaculate, and grant them a godly death. Grant, O Lover of Mankind, to those who have now combined with each other an abundance of good things, many children and happiness, as they glorify You with love forever. Sedalen, voice 1. Thy Sepulcher, O Savior: Bless, Christ, this marriage from the heights of heaven, as you blessed the righteous of old, whom you loved, and the forefathers of all: Abraham, along with Isaac and Jacob, Sarah and Rebekah and Leah, as one Lover of mankind. Let us glorify, brethren, Christ with one voice, who of old came to Cana of Galilee and blessed a marriage, and performed a miracle, gloriously showed water with wine, and made those invited to this marriage rejoice. And now: theotokos, the same Virgin Mary, Unmarried Bride, save this red bride, O Young Lady, from every circumstance, and her spouse, bestowing good fortune and all the abundance of good things upon Thy Son, and a saving end. Let us sing these hymns and similar ones, not passionate and impious, but only pious, divine and spiritual, as befits Christians and as the Apostle Paul calls: Finally, my brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good report, if there is any virtue or if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things (Phil. 4:8). Therefore, my brothers, rejoice in the Lord and be glad; thus, your wedding, and the songs, and the meal, and everything will be to the glory of God and the Father, to the thanksgiving of His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the praise and honor of His All-Holy and Life-Giving Spirit, the Consubstantial and Indivisible Trinity. In order not to be tempted by jealousy, it is better for newlyweds not to arrange games at their weddings I just have to add a few more words that I wanted to say and then finish this Word. I know that married men, especially newlyweds, have one integral feature. More than anything else, they care about maintaining honor and chastity by their wives and are ready to lose wealth, home and even life rather than allow betrayal and intrigue to discredit their marriage and marital bed. This is what Solomon says about such husbands: For jealousy is the wrath of a husband, and he will not spare on the day of vengeance, will not accept any ransom, and will not be satisfied no matter how many gifts you multiply. ( Proverbs 6:34 ). The poet Ovid said that two crowns cannot have comrades: “Aphrodite and the throne do not like friends,” that is, neither the throne nor marriage can be common. So, take heed, young husbands, and if all that we have said does not convince you not to have games at your weddings, let the zeal for the honor and chastity of your wives, whom you naturally have in your hearts, convince you later. Therefore, by arranging games and starting dances and songs, you are doing nothing more than gathering into your house from everywhere the molesters of your wives, the desecrators of your immaculate bed, the insulters of your honor, the destroyers of your marriage. Let him who understands understand: he who has ears to hear, let him hear (Matthew 13:43). Our Lord Jesus Christ created man, first man and then woman, and He unites a wife with a husband, as Solomon says: from the Lord a wife is united to a husband. May He illuminate your mind, my Christian brothers, with the light of Divine knowledge and truth and convince your hearts and wills with the sweetness of His effective grace, so that you understand what is said. You must desire what is true, righteous, and proper and put it into practice, turning away from all games, dances, songs, drunkenness and any other disorder at weddings! And may the Lord merit you, through your obedience, to remain in his home. Let men be like tall date palms, flowering and fruitful, and like the cedars of Lebanon, strong and fragrant: The righteous shall flourish like the phoenix, and like the cedar of Lebanon he shall multiply (Ps. 91:13). May the Lord grant your wives to remain in your home like fruitful vines. And your children should sit around the table like new olive branches. For this is how the man who fears God is blessed: Your wife is like a fruitful vine in your house; Your sons are like olive branches around your table: so will the man who fears the Lord be blessed! (Ps. 127:3). And may the Lord keep all husbands, wives and children in this life united in your house: all peaceful, loved 54, like-minded and united in soul and heart: God brings like-minded people into the house. And when you are so united, may He also be found in your midst, as the Most Unfalse One promised: For where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them (Matthew 18:20). By two and three we mean husband, wife and child, according to the interpretation of the great Clement of Alexandria. And in the future life, may the Lord vouchsafe you to taste the good things of the heavenly Jerusalem: and you shall see (that is, taste, according to the interpretation of Gregory of Nyssa) the good things of Jerusalem all the days of your life, that is, always and forever, says the Lord. To Him belongs glory and power with the Father and the Holy Spirit forever. Amen. Compare: “...and in all cases and at all times. Not only in times of trouble and not in times of peace: not only in this part is he “honest”, but in another part not, but let him be completely honest” (Blessed Theophylact of Bulgaria. Commentary on the Epistle of the Apostle Paul to the Hebrews. Chapter 13). The author probably refers here to the imperial novel of 1088 - Note. ed. Oikonomia is a principle in Christianity of theology and the solution of church issues from a position of leniency, practical benefit, and convenience. Oikonomia has certain boundaries (cf. akrivia). In a particular case, oikonomia is the non-application of a canon or disciplinary rule where its persistent application can cause temptation and new sin. Akrivius, on the contrary, is a firm application of the rule and canon - Note. editors. How married couples can have love among themselves was taught by an ethical philosopher in the following words: “...the husband says that he loves his wife; if he wants to be loved by her, he must be attentive to her, if he wants her to be obedient to him. And if he wants her to be honest, then he must be honest himself. Gaia Cecilia became a model of loving wives, and Gaius Servipus became a model of loving husbands, so a custom was established according to which at the wedding the groom said to the bride: “Do you want to be a good wife for me?” - and the bride answered: “If you are Gaius, then I am Gaia, and if you become Servius for me, I will be Cecilia for you.” Love between spouses is also achieved when the husband, as a caring and courageous head, stays outside his own home to bring there useful and necessary things; and the wife, as subordinate and devoted to her husband and timid, sits at home to guard what her husband brings. As a result, the sculptor Phidias sculpted the image of a woman holding her foot on a tortoise, for two reasons: firstly, because the woman is cowardly like a tortoise and, secondly, so that she would sit at home to guard it and would not go beyond it, just as the tortoise does. Therefore, when the wife is away from home, her house is destroyed and burned, as the church of Artemis was burned by Herostratus when she left her sanctuary to be present at the birth of Alexander, as they say in Hellenic mythology. That’s why Solomon, talking about a wise and homely wife, said: Doesn’t her husband care about what’s in the house when he stays somewhere (Prov. 31:21)? and again: cramped are her houses (Proverbs 31:27). In order for a wife to be loved by her husband, in addition to all this, she must be simple, but not curious, she must raise her children in a meek and Christian upbringing; to desire what her husband desires, and not have her own will; must obey her husband in lawful, reasonable and good deeds, but not in evil, lawless and reckless. Therefore, nature also covers the head of the wife with hair (for a woman is never bald, like men), and the law covers the head of the wife with protection, in order to teach her through this that she has another head - the husband.” – Note. St. Nicodemus the Holy Mountain. You might be interested in: