Why do we stop feeling joy?translated

Psychologist Irina BASHILOVA

We are used to thinking that joy is a state that appears automatically when everything is fine: loved ones are healthy, the house is in order, work brings results. But sometimes it’s a little more difficult than you want. There are good days on the outside, but there is silence on the inside. Or even worse: a void that cannot be filled by anything. Why is this happening? Why do we, having so many reasons for joy every day, stop feeling it?

One of the main traps is the habit of “delayed living.” We live in anticipation: “When this difficult period ends, then I will exhale,” “When I achieve this goal, then I will be confident in my abilities.” We expect joy from future circumstances, devaluing what we have right now. But the fact is that we quickly get used to good things. What seemed like a dream yesterday is becoming everyday life today. We run after new stimuli, not noticing that the source of joy is not on the horizon, but within us, and it does not depend on external achievements.

There is another side. We often confuse joy with the absence of difficulties. And the difficulties are work, home, relationships, the need to be a support for loved ones, to find the right words when there is tension around, to hold...