My husband died in the Northern Military District. How to live?translated

BASHILOVA Irina, psychologist

You wake up in the morning, and for the first second everything is as before. And then - like a blow. Again. And again. Every morning. He's gone. The world has not collapsed, it continues to exist, and this is the strangest thing. People go about their business, the sun rises, the wind still rustles outside the window. And your world stopped. And it seems that it is impossible to breathe when it is so cold inside that nothing warms you.

What's happening to you now

You've probably already heard about the stages of grief. But once you're inside it, no stages matter. There is only pain that comes in waves. Sometimes it overwhelms you, sometimes it recedes, leaving behind a dull silence. At first - shock. You can't believe it. It seems that now he will walk through the door, call, write. This is how our soul works - it does not let pain inside too quickly, so that we do not break from its severity.

Then comes denial. You go over all the “what ifs” in your head. This is an attempt to regain control of a world that has suddenly become uncontrollable. This is how the heart tries to grab onto the past, because the future frightens with its emptiness. Then anger. You can be angry at him, at yourself, at people, at the world,...