I live with a girl. I decided to abstain until the wedding. But I'm not ready to get married. What should I do?translated

Reader question:

Hello. I am 22 years old, I am Orthodox, but unchurched. I began to return to faith, I want to live according to the commandments. I live with my girlfriend, we are not married. She is 18. We have been together for 1.5 years, 4 months living together. I decided to abstain until marriage. She did not agree: “Live according to the commandments, but let’s leave intimacy.” I refused. Then she proposed getting married - but, I feel, not for the sake of marriage before God, but so that intimacy would cease to be a sin. I'm not ready to marry and I'm not sure that I want to marry her. After the refusal, she began to put pressure: physically holds me back when I say “no.” I struggled, but one day I lost it. After this I can’t pray, I feel like the grace is gone. I don’t know whether to consider this my sin or violence against me. I am guilty before her: I cheated on her at the beginning of the relationship. She forgave. But does this mean that I have to tolerate what is happening? I’m afraid to leave - I’m afraid for her and that God will judge her. But I can’t live like this and I can’t come to God. I don’t have the money to leave, but I’m looking. What to do? Will I leave God if I break up?

Seva

Priest's answer:

Priest Evgeniy CHEBYKIN

Hello, Seva!

To be honest, I don’t quite understand why you need to live in the same apartment with the girl you will marry in the future...