Mom had a stroke. Needs care. Is it a sin to send her to a private boarding house?translated

Reader question:

Hello. My mother is 75 years old; she had a stroke in November 2025. Now she walks, goes to the toilet, but does not speak. He eats a lot, with both hands, does not wash his hands, does not regulate water well, and sometimes does not orientate himself. He doesn’t recognize everyone and not always. My husband is against taking her home; we want to send her to a private boarding house. Before that, she lived in a state nursing home while she was bedridden. Give me some advice: I feel sorry for my mother, I understand that I should take her away, but I know that I can’t stand it, and my husband is against it. I’m torn: I’m not ready in my heart, I’m crying.

Alena

Priest's answer:

Priest Victor NIKISHOV

God bless you!

Your question is very complex, and I don’t have a clear answer. You will have to make the decision yourself, after consulting with those who directly depend on your situation. You need to slowly weigh the pros and cons when making any decision and calculate possible scenarios. The commandment to honor your parents (Ex. 20:12) does not mean that you should destroy your family by trying to care for your sick mother alone.

Saint Theophan the Recluse writes that love for one's neighbor should be judicious and not blind. If your husband is categorically against it, and you yourself...