Serious illness. Despair. What should I do?translated

Reader question:

Hello. I suffer from a serious illness that literally does not allow me to get out of bed. Treatment and available medications do not help, the pain is unbearable, I became despondent. I feel like a burden to my family - I don’t work and can’t help. I am a sinful person, I fell away from God, for which I repent. The Lord has helped and guided me through life more than once. I understand that the illness sobered me from sins and helped me not to fall apart spiritually. Now I realize the wrongness of my past life and see God’s providence in this, but I can no longer physically endure these hardships. Doctors refuse, resources have been exhausted. I’m afraid of thoughts of suicide - I consider it a sin and a challenge to God’s mercy. But more and more often in pain I want to end the torment, I’m tired of enduring mentally and physically. I pray through tears, realizing my unworthiness, but I feel abandoned by God. The Lord has not yet alleviated the suffering. I endure with all my strength, but the thought comes that there is no other way out. I'm on the edge.

Olga

Priest's answer:

Priest Victor NIKISHOV

God bless you!

An illness that has confined you to bed and taken away your strength is a difficult test. You should not think that because of your illness you become a burden to your family. In the house where they live with...