The child shakes his licensetranslated

A situation familiar to almost all parents: the child declares that at home they treat him inhumanely - they don’t allow this, they don’t buy that, and this is an infringement of his legal rights. Classic questions arise: who is to blame and what to do? And one more question, not a classic one: maybe this seemingly unpleasant phenomenon has its advantages? Medical psychologist Ilya Suslov reflects.

Ilya SUSLOV

medical psychologist

When does it all start?

Contrary to a common misconception, a child begins to learn his license not at all in adolescence, but much earlier, from about three years old - he simply does it unconsciously, not yet knowing what exactly he is “training.” It must be said that the development of a child does not occur smoothly and linearly, but in leaps and stages, and such leaps coincide with age-related crises. And each such crisis - one year, three years, seven years, and then puberty from 11-12 years old - is accompanied to one degree or another by separation from parents. And if there is separation, then there are conflicts associated with it, the reason for which is that the child is growing up, his brain and hormonal system are maturing, more opportunities and awareness appear, problems of desires and needs, which leads...