I constantly argue with my husband. What to do?translated

Reader question:

My name is Irina, I constantly argue with my husband, he constantly curses at me. Please tell me what should I do? I can't do this anymore.

Psychologist's answer:

Gleb TKACHENKO

psychologist

It’s very difficult for you since you decided to ask for help. And it's good that you wrote. Your “I can’t do this anymore” doesn’t mean a lack of patience, but that you really can’t live like this anymore.

These quarrels do not help you reach an agreement. The conversation ends, but the cause of the conflict remains, and soon everything starts again. This means that the usual way of sorting things out no longer works. And no matter how many times you repeat the same arguments, the result will be the same.

You wrote: “I constantly argue with my husband, he constantly curses at me.” You swear, and he swears, and you put yourself first. Perhaps you actually start arguments more often or raise your voice more quickly. Or perhaps you got used to first of all looking for guilt in yourself, and then the way your husband talks to you ceased to be perceived as a separate problem. I don't know which of these versions is closer to the truth, but the difference is important to note. After all, swearing does not become the norm just because you are used to it...