I'm 43, I've sinned all my life. How can I go to confession if I am afraid that I will not be allowed to receive Communion?translated

Reader question:

Hello! I am Vladimir, and in my 43 years I have never been to confession or communion after baptism as a child. There are many sins, and eternity is not enough to list them all, but I really want to confess everything I have sinned and take communion. I’m very afraid that they will refuse communion, and I won’t be able to pay penance for several years and I’m afraid to die without ever receiving communion. Can I tell the Lord in confession (in one phrase) that I have sinned to one degree or another, violating all 10 commandments? I wouldn’t want to forget to talk about any sin. God knows what I sinned in, and in the smallest details. And if the priest asks me during confession: “Did you kill someone?”, I will say: “Yes.” - Did you steal? - “Yes.” — Who fornicated? - “Yes.” And so on. In confession, can I plead guilty to all the commandments at once, or do I need to specifically name all the sins one by one? I understand that in 43 years I have sinned oh-oh-oh and I’m unlikely to be allowed to receive Communion.

How can I continue to struggle with sins and passions without connecting with God, without His help, without the grace of the Holy Spirit, which we receive in the Sacrament of Communion? I’m not a churchgoer and I’m afraid that I won’t be able to fulfill the penance imposed on me...