How to stop perceiving God as a punishing evil force?translated

Reader question:

Hello! I have an anxiety disorder, I was treated by a psychiatrist and took medications. I worked with a psychotherapist for almost 3 years. At one point I realized that I could only cope with the help of God. Started to change my life. I gave up bad habits, realized my inner emptiness and slowly came to Church. Almost a year has passed since my baptism. Now I'm 30 years old. I still don’t understand many things and feel ashamed, as well as some “unworthiness”. I want to find answers to my questions. I will be glad to help. How to stop perceiving God as a punishing evil force? I think the reason for this perception is neurosis. I have an absolute distrust of the world, I look for tricks and danger everywhere. I try to evaluate every word and thought from the point of view of possible punishment. I realize this, I’m working on myself, but apparently I lack the skill. At the same time, I understand perfectly well that only thanks to the Love of God all living things exist.

Nadezhda

Priest's answer:

VOLKOV Alexander, priest

Priest Alexander VOLKOV

Rector of the Church of St. Sergius of Radonezh in Solntsevo

Dear Nadezhda, you have made the most correct and responsible decision a person can make –...