I feel disgusted by intimacy with my husband and feel guilty towards him for it. How can we continue to live as a Christian?translated

Reader question:

Hello. It is very difficult and embarrassing for me to write about this, but I can no longer figure it out on my own and I ask for your advice.

I've been married for five years. My husband is a good, kind and caring person. He treats me, my children and animals very well, invests a lot in our family and sincerely wants to save our marriage. But after a traumatic intimate experience, I developed a strong aversion to physical intimacy with my husband. For about three years now there has been no sexual or tactile intimacy between us. I don't want hugs or kisses and I don't feel like I can change that with willpower.

I feel very guilty towards my husband because I see how he tries, takes care of me and does not want to hurt me. When he shows love and attention, I often feel not joy, but guilt and sadness because I cannot answer him in kind.

I'm thinking about divorce and I'm scared. I don’t understand what speaks to me: pride, selfishness and ingratitude or real, unmet needs and the understanding that our marriage has ceased to be full for me.

I am also held back by the fear of being left alone, the fear of destroying the family and losing all the good things in our lives. I ask you to help me honestly...