13 years old. Something is stopping you from going to Church. It's easier at home. What should I do?translated

Reader question:

Hello! I am 13 years old, I am Orthodox. I want to go to church, but something is stopping me. I feel uncomfortable and distracted. Recently I wanted to go to Confession, but I overslept and only got to Communion and a prayer service. They didn’t let me in, but I wanted confession more. It seems that the rituals are formal, I do not understand the words, I do not feel reverence. It is easier to pray at home. I am tormented by bad thoughts about the Church. I hope these are temptations. I don't know what to do. I prayed to God. I hope that the idea of ​​writing to you is His will.

Victoria

Priest's answer:

Priest Evgeniy CHEBYKIN

Hello, Victoria.

I am very glad that at such a young age you are interested in such important and serious issues as faith in God, full participation in worship, and true Christian piety. Keep up the good work and don't stop there.

To make church services more understandable and less formal for you, I recommend reading books and articles on the history of the development of Orthodox worship. You can start with the 5th part (“On the worship of the Orthodox Church”) of the book “The Law of God” by Archpriest Seraphim Slobodsky (available in the public domain). I am sure that as you read you will find a lot...