Lord, Heavenly King, Comforter, Soul of Truth, have mercy and have mercy on me, Thy sinful servant, and forgive me the unworthy, and forgive me all that I have sinned today like a man, and moreover, not like a man, but worse than cattle, my voluntary and involuntary sins, known and unknown; who are evil from youth and science, and who are evil from insolence and despondency. If I swear by Your name, or blaspheme in my thoughts; or whom I will reproach; or slandered someone with my anger, or saddened someone, or became angry about something; either he lied, or he slept in vain, or he came to me as a beggar and despised him; or made my brother sad, or married, or whom I condemned; or became proud, or became proud, or became angry; or standing in prayer, my mind is moved by the wickedness of this world, or I think about corruption; either overeated, or drunk, or laughing madly; either I thought evil thoughts, or saw someone else’s kindness, and was wounded in my heart by it, or dissimilar verbs, or laughed at my brother’s sin, but mine are countless sins; Either I didn’t pray for the sake of it, or I didn’t remember what other evil things I did, because I did more and more of these things.
Have mercy on me, my Creator Master, Thy sad and unworthy servant, and leave me, and let me go, and forgive me, for I am Good and Lover of Mankind; May I lie down in peace, sleep and rest, the prodigal, sinful and damned one; and I will worship, and sing, and glorify Your most honorable name, with the Father and His Only Begotten Son, now and ever, and forever. Amen.
All, as many as You have sinned - everything in which I have sinned before You (all, as many as I have sinned - I have sinned). Today - today. Moreover - and more than that. Grief is worse, more bitter. Even - which. From youth - from youth, from a young age (and not “because of youth”). Evil comes from science - from evil teaching. From impudence - from shamelessness, insolence. If - if. I swore - I swore. Blasphemed e - blasphemed him (further in the prayer there is a series of verbs in the form of the 1st person past tense - aorist; reproach - I reproached; slander - I slandered; saddened - I saddened, etc.). Worthless - bad timing. Svadih - stirred up quarrels, quarreled someone. Standing in prayer - when I stood in prayer. Moved by the deceit of this world, he rushed towards the worldly (towards the lies of this world). Evil - evil, bad. Having seen someone else's kindness - seeing someone else's beauty (or good qualities in general: kindness means both external beauty and perfection in general). I was wounded in my heart by that - I was wounded in my heart by it. Inappropriate verbs - said something inappropriate, obscene. My essence is countless sins - while my sins are countless.
But all and more of these deeds - because I did all this and more.
+ At the beginning of the prayer and at the end of it, despondency is mentioned among the causes of numerous sins: ... Forgive all, O Lord, those who have sinned ... from despondency ... Have mercy on me, my Creator Master, Thy sad and unworthy servant ... Despair is one of the eight main passions, and the struggle with this passion is inevitable for every Christian.
“This evil spirit reminds the one who begins to pray about the necessary things to do and uses every trick just to distract us from the conversation with the Lord with some plausible pretext.”
Venerable John the Climacus
“The soul, wounded by the arrow of this ruinous passion, actually falls asleep for any striving for virtue and observation of its spiritual feelings... The main thing that the spirit of despondency produces in us is that it makes us lazy, discourages us from doing things and teaches idleness. The mind of an idle lover does not think about anything else than food and belly, until, having met somewhere a fellowship in some man or woman, numb in the same coldness, it gets involved in their affairs and needs... The main thing to counteract him will be: do not give in, sit down to work.”
Venerable John Cassian the Roman
“In every task, determine your measure and do not leave it before you finish; also pray intelligently and intensely - and the spirit of despondency will flee from you.”
Venerable Neil of Sinai
This prayer of repentance contains a whole list of sins that we commit daily; In order for this daily repentance to be sincere, one must delve into the essence of the sins confessed here, in their connection and difference. Some of them deserve special mention.
...If I swear by Your name... These are the words of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself: Again you have heard what was said to the ancients: do not break your oath, but fulfill your oaths before the Lord. But I say to you: do not swear at all: not by heaven, for it is the throne of God; nor the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, because it is the city of the great King; Do not swear by your head, because you cannot make a single hair white or black. But let your word be: yes, yes; no no; and anything beyond this is from the evil one (Matt. 5:33-37). Undoubtedly, the words of the evening confession of sins speak not only about an immediate oath, but also about any violation of the 3rd commandment of the Law of God - about deification and taking the name of God in vain (note that violation of the same commandment includes catechism and inattention in prayer - like pronouncing the name of God in violation of reverence and lying).
...Or blasphemy in my thoughts... These words are used to confess blasphemous thoughts - disgusting, dirty thoughts and ideas that arise primarily during prayer and during divine services.
“Whoever is troubled by the spirit of blasphemy and who wants to get rid of it, let him know without a doubt that it is not his soul that is guilty of such thoughts, but an unclean demon... Therefore, we, despising him and counting the thoughts he puts in for nothing, will say to him: Get away from Me, Satan: I will worship the Lord My God and serve Him only (cf. Matt. 4:10); let your words be returned to your head!”
Venerable John Climacus
The Monk John also points out the mysterious internal reason for blasphemous thoughts: it is pride. “Whoever has achieved victory over this passion has cast aside pride.” “Let us stop judging and condemning our neighbor, and we will not be afraid of blasphemous thoughts: for the cause and root of the second is the first.” The prayer-confession also draws our attention to these sins against one’s neighbor, internally connected with blasphemy:
...Or I will reproach someone; or slandered someone with my anger, or saddened... Here we are talking about direct reproach (reproaches), about passionate unjust condemnation (slander of someone with my anger); finally, even “just” and not directly expressed anger in one way or another upsets our neighbors (the saddened). The prayer of repentance turns us to the root of these sins against our neighbor: ... or what we were angry about... Anger is one of the eight most important passions.
“Nothing hinders the coming of the Holy Spirit into us so much as anger.”
Venerable John Larch
“It is not good to be angry, either without a reason or for a good reason; for this is rightly forbidden by the Lord (see: Matt. 5:22).”
Venerable Neil of Sinai
Anger is permissible only at demons and at yourself: “Be angry at sin, that is, at yourself and at the devil, so as not to sin against God.”
Venerable Hesychius of Jerusalem
...Or my brother was saddened... It would seem that this sin was just discussed; but above we were talking about sadness caused by manifestations of anger, and my brother can be saddened by inattention, unreasonableness, and simply my general sinfulness.
...Or svadih... Swaditi - to quarrel, to stir up discord.
...Or whom I condemn... Let us recall the words of the apostle: Whoever curses his brother or judges his brother, he is cursed by the law and judged by the law; and if you judge the law, then you are not a doer of the law, but a judge. There is one Lawgiver and Judge, who can save and destroy; and who are you who judges another? (James 4:11-12).
...Or they became proud, or became angry... But it was already said above: or about what they became angry; is this a repeat? Perhaps the prefix once indicates a different quality, a different level of professed passion: a fairly strong grip of anger (being angry can also refer to a fleeting feeling).
...Or seeing the kindness of someone else, and being wounded by it in the heart... Wounded by the heart - that is, he was wounded in the very heart, received a painful heart wound (ulcer). The ambiguity of the word kindness allows us to attribute this phrase both to the temptation of someone’s external beauty (voluptuous thoughts, burning and painful), and to envy, which is always painful; apply these words to your own mental ulcer.