Lord my God! By Thy grace alone, Thou hast brought me into existence from non-existence, and Thou hast adorned me with Thy image. I did not think of thanking You more than You, for You have given me life, nor for You have placed me over all earthly creatures, like their king. You have made me worthy to receive holy Baptism when I was a baby. But from my childhood I did not retain the grace of baptism: I began from childhood to lie, to use foul language, to compose voluptuous songs, to be lazy, to hide the things of others, to resist my commands parents, despise the good advice of the elders, and beat the younger ones in vain with your hand. When he came to the age of courage, he indulged in various passions, drunkenness, fornication, evil acquisitions, anger, pride. Both my body and soul are, of course, desecrated by sins. What kind of bodily filth did the accursed one not fall into? In what uncleanness of the flesh have you not clearly imagined yourself and in a dream? What evil have you not thought in my soul?
How many unlike dreams have risen into my soul! How selfish you are, don’t even think about having Christian love for your neighbor! I, the accursed one, have become hardened only in my heart, because neither from prayers, nor from tears, nor from the groans of those suffering because of my malice or selfishness, have I been moved. For this reason, my crimes were not confessed before the judges. I told a lot of lies at the trial and were not embarrassed. There will be neither human shame nor the fear of God before my eyes. If you forget to say prayers in the morning and in the evening, then protect yourself with the sign of the cross, showing yourself that you are godless. I also avoid remembering the name of my Creator and Savior in conversations with my neighbors. The name of the enemy of my salvation, the devil, is woe to me, foolish! - I often remember. Even though I have received good things from Thy hand, O merciful Lord, even though I have seen illness and other visits on my neighbors: for this reason I have not managed to repent before You. And so to the end I retreated from You, my Lord!
I have taken a break from You, like the prodigal son, to a far country: I have gone away in no place - for You are omnipresent, and nothing can hide from You - truly in my spirit and life. Your image and likeness have darkened within me: I have become more like a fallen spirit, to whom I have given myself over. Oh, can I think from the beginning of the world to be like me, a sinner? Worse than the murderers of Christ, I, the accursed one, have sinned. Thus, having gone away from You, I reached the point of prison, and became, in my name and life, a criminal. But Lord, Lord! Leave you, don’t leave me. Do not turn Your face away from me, for I grieve. Do not let me perish with my iniquities, even though I am not worthy to receive mercy from You. Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your great mercy! With them, only fate weighs, save me, a great sinner. For You are, O God, the God of those who repent, and I ascribe glory to You, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.