“What shall I render to the Lord for all that He has rendered to me?” (Ps. 116:3)
Since You, O our Savior, came into the world for the sake of everyone, so also for the sake of me, for I am one of all; “I came into the world to save sinners” (1 Tim. 1:15), then me too, for I too am one of the sinners; “I came to seek and save the lost” (Matthew 18:11), then me, since I too am one of the lost.
Oh, my God, my Lord and my Creator! I should have come to You, as a transgressor of Your law, and fall, and prostrate myself before You, and humbly ask Your forgiveness, and pray to You, and seek Your mercy. But now You Yourself came to me, to me, Your cursed and indecent servant. My Lord came to me, an apostate and His enemy, my Lord came and visited me with His love for mankind.
Listen, my soul, and take heed: God has come to us, our Lord has visited us. For my sake, he was born from the Virgin Mother, born from the Father before the ages. For my sake he was wrapped in swaddling clothes, “He who covers the sky with clouds and is clothed with light as with a robe” (Ps. 103:2). For my sake He was laid in a wretched manger, having “a throne, the heavens, and a footstool, the earth” (Is. 66:1). For my sake he fed on his mother's milk, the one who nourishes all flesh. For my sake, He who sits on cherubim and contains all creation was carried in his mother’s arms. For my sake, the Creator of the law was circumcised according to the law. For my sake, You, invisible, appeared and lived with people, my God. My God became like me, a man, for my sake and “the Word became flesh” (John 1:14), and my Lord, the Lord of glory, “took on the form of a servant” (Phil. 2:7) for my sake, and lived on earth, and walked on the earth as the King of Heaven. He worked, worked miracles, talked with people, treated himself like a slave, the Lord of all.
He who feeds and drinks all flesh was hungry, thirsty, He who takes away every tear was weeping, He who takes away every tear was sick and grieved, the Comforter of all was sick and sad, only the Holy and Righteous One dealt with sinners, the Almighty was weary, “he who dwells in the inaccessible light had no place to lay his head” (Matthew 8:20; 1 Timothy 6:16). He who gives wealth to all was a beggar. From city to city and from place to place the Omnipresent and fulfilling One moved. And so for thirty-three years or more on earth he lived and worked for me, His servant, the Son of God, “not being separated from the Father’s bosom.” But what did You see in me that was worthy of Your eyes, that you came to this deplorable vale to seek me?
Shepherds are looking for lost sheep, but they are looking for their own benefit. People are looking for lost goods, but they are looking for their own selfishness. People leave for foreign countries, but for their own gain. Kings ransom captives, but through silver and gold, through their messengers and, for the most part, for their own sake. But what have you found in me, my Lord? What benefit, what self-interest and what good, when the King of heaven and earth Himself came to me to seek me, and not through messengers, the Lord Himself came to seek His servant and redeem - to redeem not with silver and gold, but with His honest Blood? Nothing at all except corruption, weakness, reproach, disobedience and enmity towards You!
It would be a great thing if You came to seek me, who involuntarily perished and was taken away from You and captured by need by my enemy. But what an incomprehensible thing it is that I am an unauthorized apostate, I am an apostate and Your enemy! Ah, I’m ashamed to even talk about this, but it’s true: I am an apostate from You, and I myself went after Your enemy. I entered into council with him and wanted to steal Your Divine honor. I wanted to be God, Thy creation, not content with the fact that You honored me more than Your other creatures, with a rational soul and with Your Divine image. Such a great honor seemed small to me. I wanted to be God, and thus dishonor You, who honored me, my Lord. I have greatly offended and angered Your infinite majesty, and so I have become Your enemy. This is what I am before You, for whose sake You came!
However, not finding anything in me except my sole salvation and self-interest in me, he came to look for me. My misfortune and my destruction were Your loss, and my salvation was Your gain. That I perished, You imputed to Yourself for the loss; and that I might be saved and be blessed, You have set it for Your own profit. Your goodness did not tolerate seeing me in destruction, and convinced You, the invincible, to come down to me and seek me: neither an intercessor, nor an Angel, but the Lord Himself came to me, because I could not come to You. The shepherd had to go out, work hard and look for the lost sheep in the mountains.
You have visited me with Your love for mankind, my Lord! My Shepherd searched for me without His own self-interest! You loved me without benefit, my God! For this is true love - to love without any benefit and to do good without the hope of reward. You loved me so much, my Lover, that you came to my salvation without Your own selfishness.
O Thy goodness and love for mankind, Son of God and Son of the Ever-Virgin! Oh, our blessedness, poor and damned people, for whose sake our Lord and King came and lived with us! God became like people and came to us for our sake!
O “blessed womb that bore You, and the breasts that nourished You” (Luke 11:27), Son of God!
Blessed are the swaddling clothes with which You were wrapped! Blessed is the manger in which You were laid! Blessed are the hands that bore the Child, Who is “our God before this world”! Blessed are the garments with which God clothed himself in the flesh, “who is clothed with light as with a garment” (Ps. 103:2)! Blessed are the eyes that have seen You, and the ears that have heard You, and the hands that have touched You, the living and life-giving Word! Blessed is the time in which You, the Heavenly King, appeared on earth! But much more blessed are those who see You not walking on earth, but sitting at the right hand of the Father, Jesus, Him “Whom, not having seen before, but believing in You, your faithful on earth rejoice with inexpressible and glorious joy” (1 Peter 1:8). Make me worthy now to see You with faith and to honor You with love, and there to see You face to face!